Work Text:
🎮
Louis has been friends with Harry since he can remember. The first time he saw him he was just the little premature baby his mother's friend and neighbor, Anne, brought home. Louis was delighted. He took it upon himself to protect the tiny thing with his own life. Harry became his baby, then his biggest fan, then his first real friend, then his best friend.
Now, here they are: drunk out of their asses and rutting against each other while pretending it isn't happening. Fuck.
What the hell is he doing ? Harry is only 15! Louis is 17, he should be the responsible one to put a stop to this madness! He is stopping, ah, he will, mmmf, soon, ahh, stopping, umf… Suddenly, Harry is groaning out loud and slowing down his movements. He came . Oh god.
Harry rolls away from Louis avoiding eye contact. "I'm, uh, I'm gonna take a shower," he says, gathers clothes, and almost runs to the bathroom.
That’s the fastest he has ever seen the boy talk or move. Fuck .
The night had started like many other Saturday nights. They had gone to a party, gotten drunk, and came back to sleep at Harry's. Anne and Robin were away for the weekend and Gemma hadn't returned from the party yet. They were home alone so they had started loudly play-fighting on the bed for whatever reason and, in their drunken state, it had somehow ended up with Harry on top of Louis.
Harry's struggle to pin down Louis' hands had caused some interesting movements from their hips, which had turned to them just rutting their crotches together while practically holding hands until Harry was coming. Fuck.
They didn't even kiss. Wait, did he want to kiss? What the fuck? That's not even the point! They rutted, Harry came, they pretended it wasn't what it was, and now Harry is taking a really long shower. Because he came. In his pants. On top of Louis. Fuck.
They aren't even gay! Not that there’s something wrong with that, they just aren’t. Harry has kissed a lot of girls already and Louis has had two girlfriends, two! They didn't last long, to be honest, but they meant he wasn't gay, right? Right.
And Harry is Harry . His best friend since he was conscious enough to know what that means. They do everything together, they understand each other without even speaking. They share moms, and step-dads, and sisters because they are that close. But now, they practically had sex! That is Harry ! Have they just ruined their friendship for being drunk and horny? What the hell are they supp—
Harry comes back into the room dressed in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. Fuck. He always sleeps in just boxers. Always. This is already awkward. Fuck.
"Eh, umm, wanna borrow a PJ? It's, uhm, chilly tonight," he asks. His voice is tight and he's tense standing next to his dresser.
Apparently they are going to act like nothing happened. He can roll with that.
"Yeah, yeah, throw me a PJ," he says standing up. Harry visibly relaxes at that.
Louis takes a shower and he wanks. He's weak, alright? He's 17. He wanks, but he does not think about what just happened, he actively thinks about the last porn he saw this week. He's a teen alright, sue him.
When he comes back to bed Harry is on his side, back to Louis. So they just go to sleep.
🎮
Next morning they wake up with hang-overs and memories.
They do not talk about it.
They both try really hard to pretend it didn't happen. After a while they begin to feel comfortable again.
🎮
On Wednesday Louis finds himself in Harry's room again. They are sitting on the bed playing Xbox and Harry is winning. Louis, of course, can not allow that to happen so he starts messing with Harry's controller. He's just about to bring death to Harry's avatar when he feels something.
Louis is stretched on top of Harry while fighting with both hands for the remote just to the left of Harry's head.
The struggle causes movements in the nether regions.
Really interesting movements.
Friction.
Louis should stop, but they’ve fought like this before, it shouldn’t be weird. They just need to push through the awkwardness.
Harry doesn’t stop either.
Fuck. He feels Harry getting hard.
He grows hard in response. And fuck. What does it mean that he gets hard with a boy? With Harry?
Louis doesn’t want to acknowledge what’s happening and he doesn’t know what Harry is thinking.
Neither of them stop.
They keep fighting for the controller, it’s a ruse, there’s no force in their struggle anymore, they are just grinding together, pretending.
Then, the controller falls from their hands and the pretense shatters.
But they keep grinding. They are both too gone now to stop.
Louis has his eyes closed. He tries to remember the porn video from last week, but images of Harry keep interrupting him. He hears Harry groan just barely right in his ear and that, plus the image of Harry fucking the porn actress from the video, tip him over the edge. He gasps and shakes, his head falling to Harry's shoulder.
They are both breathing heavily now, not moving. Louis keeps his face hiding from Harry’s and resting on his shoulder. A moment later, Harry shifts slightly. "Uhm, I'm gonna shower at Gemma's." His voice is shaky. Rough and hesitant. There’s a clear 'so you can shower here' left unsaid.
Louis rolls off of him and as casually as he's able replies, "yeah, yeah, go."
After Harry leaves, Louis grabs clean underwear from the dresser and showers in a daze with a mantra of 'fuck, fuck, fuuuck' repeating in his mind.
Once he's dressed he hesitates, what the fuck is he supposed to do with his dirty underwear? He could go home and take those with, but it would be weird if he leaves now. Usually he stays for dinner, and how is he supposed to enter his own house, full of baby sisters and a noisy mother, with dirty underwear in his hand? Fuck, he is fucked.
When he exits the bathroom Harry is sitting in his bed staring nervously at the controller in his hands. Fuck.
"Uhm," Louis says eloquently. Fuck.
Harry looks up.
"I borrowed..." He points to the dresser.
"Uhm yeah, that’s fine."
"I, uhm…" he doesn't know how to ask, so he just lifts the ball of his underwear in his hand a bit.
"Ohh, umm..." Harry blushes.
Louis blushes. Fuck.
“Ohh…” Harry smirks? Was that a fucking smirk? What the fuck? "Uhm, laundry," he says, no smirk left.
"Anne...?"
"I'll do the laundry tomorrow."
He doesn't know if he wants Harry washing his dirty underwear, but he doesn't have much of a choice so he drops them in the basket. He thinks better of it and reaches down again to cover them with a dirty t-shirt. Harry chuckles.
Louis hesitates, then goes to sit down next to Harry, a foot of distance between them. He stares straight ahead. "Uhm, Harry, are we okay?" he whispers.
"Yeah, yeah, ‘course," Harry says with too much enthusiasm, "wanna watch a movie?"
Using distractions to ‘not talk about things’ has never been their way. Harry likes to talk his feelings out, and Louis uses sarcasm, they don’t avoid things, but this is different. So they watch a movie quietly, and they eat dinner with Harry's family, and they do their best to pretend everything is as it always has been.
But they don't fight over the controller again.
🎮
A few days later, on Saturday, there's another party, and Louis is nervous. He doesn't want to get drunk and repeat what happened at the last party. It even happened again while they were sober. Fuck. They were aware of what they were doing then and Harry's only 15! He hadn't even done anything like that before, Harry would have told him if he had. Louis knows that it only happened because they are horny teenagers, he knows they were both thinking about porn or someone else, and he knows that it didn’t mean anything. Still, it’s better if it doesn’t happen again. He’s not sure their friendship will be okay if they keep doing that. Does Harry even want to do that again? Does he? Shit is confusing. The only thing he knows for sure is that he needs to protect Harry, even from himself, so he decides no repeats. For that effect, he will not drink tonight. It's decided.
Well, one beer won't get him drunk.
One shot with the host it’s just manners, mate.
A couple of beers more. It’s fine, he's dancing, it's fine. He is fine. Almost sober, even. This is the last, it’s fine.
Harry's kissing a girl.
Louis is not fine.
He finds whisky.
Harry's touching the girl's bum.
Louis is not fine.
He finds tequila.
Louis is far from fine.
Louis is dancing to the beat of "Wiggle Wiggle" and Niall's cackles. He's on top of a table swinging his t-shirt over his head like a cowboy, and dodging Liam's attempts to get him down. He is sooo fine.
And there's his Harry.
"Loulou, come'ere!" He's screaming from the other edge of the long dining room table.
"Hazza!" he screams and runs, somehow managing to slide on his knees right to the arms waiting for him. He will have bruises in the morning. Totally worth it.
He turns Harry around to piggyback a ride out of the house. He is extra fine right now. With his boy.
He notices Zayn, watching them from a corner. Zayn’s so cool, leaning to the wall on his brown leather jacket like a British James Dean, only he's actually Asian, whatever. Liam is rolling his eyes, Louis wonders if he'll ever lose them in the back of his head, he looks satisfied now that Louis will not fall off the table. Niall's laughing, he's always laughing, Louis wants to kiss his face till he falls down laughing. And Harry carries him. A solid, warmth thing between his limbs. Louis is holding onto him like a koala baby. Those are cute. Louis can be cute if he wants to. It should be the other way around, the carrying, it was the other way around for a long time, but shit, when did Harry decide to be a giraffe? Louis is older but tiny, only in his mind he will admit he's tiny, and only when he's being carried like the king of the party people! He might be really drunk. Why was he supposed to not be drunky?
The three boys follow them outside while Harry carries him on his back, shaking him around and singing a song that does not match the one playing in the house. Louis bites his shoulder and Harry starts tapping the rhythm on his bum. Louis likes it. Harry's bum song crescents and he spanks Louis harder.
Louis accidentally moans on Harry's ear.
None of the boys hear him with the noise of the music, but Harry does and he freezes, hands still on Louis' cheeks.
Then Harry squeezes.
Louis squeals like a piglet.
Niall cackles, doubling over with a hand on his tummy, Liam shakes his head but smiles, and Zayn smiles and just watches. That boy sees too much.
"Take me home, Haz," he asks Harry.
The boys live nearby so they all walk together, singing, and falling, and laughing the whole way.
🎮
Harry and Louis tiptoe to the bedroom quietly, Anne and Robin are home this weekend. Louis enters the room first and when Harry finally turns around from closing and locking the door, the air is heavy.
They stare at each other.
Harry takes a step forward.
Louis takes a step forward.
Harry's gaze drops to his lips.
Louis licks them.
They lock eyes again and then they are walking, fast.
Then, all that exists is Harry’s lips, his body against him, his hands on him.
Their lips tangle and it's wild, hot, everything. Suddenly his tongue is in another mouth, a boy's mouth, Harry's mouth. And Harry is pulling him to the bed. When did Harry's arms go to the small of his back? When did his own hands tangle on Harry's hair?
They fall on the bed without any grace and their hips are instantly rolling. Harry's legs are half off the bed and Louis tries to get support for his knee to straddle him properly, through it all, they are wildly grinding. There's no rhythm, no synchronization, and no hesitation. It's good, it's amazing. Louis is almost there. They are kissing and it's messy, there's spit everywhere, they are too hungry to care.
"Lou... Lou... Lou... " Harry is reciting like a prayer while Louis sucks his neck.
Then Harry lowers his hands to Louis' bum and grinds him hard to his own crotch. They moan and Harry shakes as he comes. Louis grinds a few more times and he comes to the image of Harry's sated face. And fuck.
"Fuck," he says.
He means 'fuck, I shouldn't have done this', but it comes out as 'fuck, that was so good', which it was, but it’s hardly the point.
Harry smiles. And fuck.
Louis rolls off, and wordlessly goes to the shower. He needs a minute to settle. He needs… he just needs something. He feels lost, and confused, and… excited? Fuck, what even is this? They kissed. He kissed Harry, his best friend, Harry . Fuck. Fuckity fuck. What happens now?
He comes out of the bathroom covered with Harry's towel and goes to fetch some boxers. When he's about to put them on, he notices Harry still lying in bed, but leaning on his elbows and staring.
Just staring.
Like he's waiting for a show.
They've never been shy about being naked, but they don't stare either. Louis coughs awkwardly and puts on the boxers without taking off the towel. Harry looks disappointed. Well, fuck.
Harry showers and Louis pretends to be asleep when he comes back.
🎮
When they wake up, they pretend nothing has changed.
Louis doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to admit it. But he knows. He knows that when he saw Harry with that girl, he was jealous. Jealous . Of Harry . With a girl. Harry . Fuck. Louis doesn't allow himself to think about it.
🎮
Days pass and they try to act like nothing has happened, they try really hard to act like before, to push through any awkwardness, but they are not fooling anybody else. Family and friends keep asking if they are fighting. Even teachers do a double take and he doesn't get it. They are talking like always. They are always together like always. Nothing has changed.
It has.
"You are not touching each other all the time," Niall says when Louis snaps and asks why everyone is acting so weird. And fuck. It might be true, they used to always be touching each other. Comfortable in each other’s personal spaces, but it feels weird now, charged. Fuck.
"We are not kids anymore, Niall!" He answers to say something. Lame excuse.
"Mate, you were touching last week!"
And fuck.
"Whatever you say, Nail." He walks away.
🎮
Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck. He needs to fix this mess. With space? Maybe. Time? Maybe. Talking? No, no way. Talking makes it real. Stopping? Yeah, stopping, plus time, plus some physical space, that should fix this. Yeah, that’s it. Great plan, Tommo!
It works.
For a week.
The thing is Louis is a touchy, cuddly kind of person. He just is and everyone knows it. He needs it. So, instead of touching Harry like usual, he started cuddling up with Niall to get his fix. It wasn’t the same as with Harry, but it was nice, it was kinda working, and Niall seemed to enjoy it, too. Then Harry started trying to melt Niall with his eyes. Fuck.
He stopped cuddling Niall —to Niall’s great disappointment, of course— but he was managing it, he had it handled. Until Saturday, when Anne and Robin take Gemma to London.
🎮
Saturday comes and Louis is touch-starved. Louis and Harry have been close since Harry was born and they have never gone too long without touching each other since. Their families are so close that they travel together or just take the other boy with them. When the boys fight, they make up a couple hours later with nudges, because they can’t handle being apart. They have keys to each other’s houses and they roam around like they belong in either. They spend most days at Louis’ house after school to mind the girls, and since he was 8, Louis has always slept in Harry’s bed on Saturday so his sisters don’t wake him up early. So there’s just no way he can sleep at home this Saturday without both families launching an intervention and Harry being hurt by it. No way.
He knows, deep inside he knows today is it. Today they'll either talk, or fight, or make out, but something’s gotta give today. While they are sober. Today.
Louis arrives at Harry's house just as his family is leaving. They say goodbye and hug and promise to be good and everything is fine, normal, until they are left alone. They enter the house and they are both nervous, unsure. There’s something charged in the air, a hesitance that’s never existed between them before. For the first time, they don’t know where the other stands.
They go to Harry's room on autopilot, silently, each lost in their own thoughts.
Harry puts on the Xbox and they settle with their backs to the headboard to play.
It’s just more pretense, Harry is shooting at his own team, and Louis is just running into walls. Fuck.
"Lou..."
"Yeah?"
Silence.
They keep pretending to play. They are not doing a great job.
Harry nudges him with his arm. Fuck. Harry wants to. Harry wants this, whatever this is. What even is this? Are they friends with benefits now? Are they starting something? Are they gay? Just bored and horny? Fucking hell, he's never cursed more, honestly.
He nudges back.
Harry grabs Louis' controller and Louis fights it. More pretense, the fighting, they are barely pulling for the controller, just rearranging themselves till Louis is on top of Harry and they are grinding, holding-hands indirectly through the controller. Harry's hand's on his back, now, Louis’ head's lodged on the crook of Harry's neck. And he's burning from the inside out with excitement and hornyness and whatever else. He's burning.
What the fuck is he doing? Harry is only 15! 15! His baby! He's too young to know what he's doing. Well, not really, Louis was doing this with Hannah at 15. But Harry… He needs to stop this, but it's so good. Stop. Too good. Sto— Harry is clumsily flipping them over so he's on top, the controller is discarded next to the pillow. Harry grinds down, and they groan, and then he kisses Louis' cheek and they blush. Harry kisses him right on the corner of his mouth and a little ‘mmm’ escapes Louis' throat and Harry kisses him on the lips.
The word 'finally' crosses his mind and he wonders about that for a millisecond, but then he's completely kissing Harry. The realization hits him like a train, then: he wants this, mind, body and soul, he wants it all. They are kissing and they are sober, and it's even better, and Harry is so wonderful Louis might be in love. And what the fuck?
He kisses him. They kiss. Louis allows his hands to wander. First to his hair —he loves Harry's hair— his neck, his shoulders —fuck he is so fit— his back —such a tiny waist— his lower back, he reaches the bum and hesitates, but Harry has touched his so what the hell, right? He squeezes it for a moment, then he separates the cheeks a bit. Harry moans, really, really loudly as he comes. He’s breathing harshly and it's the hottest thing ever, knowing what made him come, feeling him moan into Louis mouth, feeling his whole body shake on top of him with the force of it. Harry grinds through it and Louis comes a moment later.
His hands climb up to Harry's back and he just hugs him tight. Harry rests his forehead on Louis' shoulder and hugs back. They stay there panting for a while, it's... Nice. Really nice.
"Lou?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm gay."
"I might be bi."
"I might love you."
"I love you, too, Haz."
"No, no Lou. I might have feelings for you. Uhm, I mean like... boyfriend feelings."
"Harry… I think I do, too"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah"
Harry lifts his head then and his smile is blinding and warm, and so fond Louis might die. He realizes he's smiling himself, and he's so, so happy. Harry leans down and kisses him with the sweetest kiss he has ever received and his heart is suddenly made whole and bursting.
"So, umm, I mean, we, are we..." Harry mumbles when they take a breath.
"Yeah?"
"B-boyfriends?"
His heart bursts. "You want to?"
"Yeah... If you, uhm-"
"Yeah"
"Yeah... Boyfriend."
"Boyfriend"
They kiss and Louis swears that Harry can read his mind the way he kisses him. It's sweet and deep and so, so good.
Harry is the one to break off again.
"We are gross, want to take a shower with me?" Harry asks hopefully.
Louis chokes on nothing. "Harry..."
"It's just a shower, Lou."
"Harry, you're 15! I might go to jail for this. Your mother and Gemma will kill me! My mother will kill me!"
"Lou, you're not going to jail, you're a minor too, and I'll be 16 in like 3 months, that's legal. Besides we are not having sex-sex. I'm not... I'm not ready. Yet. Also, both our mothers and my sister love you, they'd be happy. I know it."
"First of all, Harold, don't ever mention our families and sex in the same sentence again. Ever ." Harry laughs and rolls his eyes. Louis' voice is a lot softer when he continues, he reaches up to cup Harry's jaw, his thumb caressing his cheekbone. "Second, I'm not ready for that either, Haz. This... We need to take it slow, I don't want to screw up, you're too important. Can't lose you."
"You won't."
"I love you," It spills out of his mouth without his permission, too caught up in the new emotions flooding him, caught up in green eyes, but it's so, so true. When did he even start feeling like this?
"I love you," Kiss. "Boyfriend.” Kiss. “Come shower with me."
Louis goes, because that boy? That boy could get him to trample bees’ houses while naked and singing the Macarena, and that little word from his mouth, 'boyfriend', wakes up a thousand of those bees inside his stomach. He's so gone for this boy. How did he not notice before?
Harry turns on the shower and faces Louis. He grabs the hem of his shirt and lifts just barely, Louis lifts his arms. Harry takes it off and smiles. He places little kisses on his shoulders and chest and then he thumbs the button of his jeans off in one swift movement.
"Where the hell did you learn that?" Louis asks bewildered, a bit jealous, too. Fuck. Did Harry do something with someone else without telling him?
Harry chuckles. "Saw it on YouTube."
Louis is relieved, the possessive fucker.
Harry kneels on the floor and takes off Louis’ jeans slowly and it's much sexier than Louis could have imagined.
Then, Harry stands back and takes off his own t-shirt, eyes set on Louis. He takes off his jeans, too, and then he smiles and takes off his boxers. It's technically nothing that Louis hasn't seen before, but it's also completely, completely different. There’s a fire in his gut now that where there never was before.
Harry is gorgeous head to foot and Louis wants to touch. He just wants. He needs it. When did he start to be attracted to dick, anyway? Fuck.
Louis takes off his own boxers and Harry pulls him in by the hand. It's good, it’s perfect. The water is warm and Harry is warm when they brush their upper bodies together. With a wordless agreement, they keep a bit of distance on their crotch areas.
Louis shampoos Harry's hair for him and his boy is almost purring, eyes closed and smiling. He styles it to a Mohawk and chuckles. Harry complains with a half-assed 'heeeey', so Louis pulls it a bit and oh , Harry moans.
"We'll, uhm, save that for later," Louis says, patting back down the hair.
Harry seems both mortified and really interested. He turns him around and washes his back. Louis is 90% sure he mostly wanted to check out his naked bum.
Louis washes Harry's chest, his arms, his abs, but stops there.
Harry again turns Louis around and oh , he is touching his bum, washing it, squeezing it, and boom , just like that, Louis' entire blood supply is delivered to his dick. Fuck.
Harry taps his bum and Louis needs to put his hands on the wall to support himself under the wave of want that curses through him. Harry spanks him and Louis moans, head falling back.
"Mmm, that’s what I thought."
"Haz..." he warns, beginning to turn around.
Harry grabs Louis' hip gently but firmly to stop him. "I like it," he whispers and slaps his bum again.
They both groan and Harry grabs him by both hips and comes closer. He mouths at Louis’ neck and back.
"Hazza…" he warns, this is too much.
"Lou"
Another step and Louis feels it. Harry is hard, his dick is just on top of his bum crack. His hands turn to fists on the tiles. His head is leaning on the wall. He's trying hard to tell him to stop. He has to. Harry keeps kissing. Then he just barely rolls his hips.
“Haz, we can’t...” Louis is pleading now, he’s pleading for Harry to stop on his own because Louis can’t seem to force him. He can’t seem to move.
"I'll stop if you really want me to, Lou, but I don't want to, and I know you don't either. No sex-sex, promise, just this. You want to?"
"Haz, yeah, yeah, just this."
"Can I touch you, Lou?"
"Yeah"
Harry's hand rounds his hip till he reaches Louis' dick and they both gasp at the contact. It's electric, so good. He drops his head back, right to Harry's shoulder, and he gets a mouth on his neck, little kisses.
"Love you."
"Love you."
Harry starts moving then, rolling his hips and sliding his hand. It's messy, uncoordinated, it has zero rhythm, yet it’s the best thing Louis has ever felt. He moves his own hips back and forth and they build a rhythm together. Louis is close when he feels Harry losing it, his hand stopping, hips faltering. Harry uses his other hand to slap his bum. Louis groans and Harry comes with a grunt and hot splashes to Louis' lower back.
With that, Louis grows desperate, he puts his hand around Harry's on his dick and guides him to finish him off. Louis comes with a loud, desperate moan and stars in his eyes. Fuck it was so good. So good with Harry.
He turns around and they kiss and hug. Harry's hand travels to his lower back, spreading his mark over Louis' bum and he seems so pleased, Louis can barely stand it.
"Dirty boy," he teases.
Harry leans back and looks worried, and sorry and ashamed for a second before Louis smiles and he relaxes. "You don't like it?"
"I love it."
They are happy, sated, together and in love. Louis vaguely wonders if this is too fast, if they are jumping into a relationship and into sex-stuff too fast, but the way they already love each other is much deeper than most people do. Louis was there when Harry was so angry he slammed his laptop to the ground, he was there to hold him when the force of his sobs shook the floor beneath them, he was there when Harry happily jumped around at Gemma’s accomplishments, he was there that awful night when Harry got food poisoning and was discarding the contents of his digestive system out of both ends, he has seen him lost on the things he loves, he has seen him drunk, he has seem him annoyed, he has seen him flirty. He has seen every side of Harry there is to see as a friend and now he gets to see another side. He gets to see that Harry might be a kinky little thing, and a sex fiend, and the best kisser, he gets to know Harry as a boyfriend now and he can hardly wait. He’ll never get enough of his boy. He wants every side he can get. He has been there through it all, he has loved him through it all, he will love Harry through it all. He’s aware it might not always be easy, he knows, but he’ll fight for it, they’ll fight for it, because they are worth it. He knows it might get hard, but in this second, in Harry’s arms, everything is so, so good.
🎮