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The locker door closed with a clank that sounded like Cain felt: rusty, tired, and about to fall off its hinges.
Right now, there was nothing he wanted more than some peace and quiet after a very long day that he'd rather put behind him. Nevertheless, when his phone chimed loudly to signal a text, he realized his fowl luck today made that unlikely. At first he thought it would be Jeb asking what they'd have for dinner, but then he remembered his son was staying over at a friend's tonight. So that left only one probable culprit for disturbing the silence in the nearly empty locker room.
Peace and quiet momentarily forgotten, a fond smile made it to his face as he checked the message.
}7:36 pm
Hey <3 Are you off yet? If you are, help me out please I'm dying of boredom here -_-
Cain chuckled under his breath, leaning back on the grey wall of lockers as he typed.
{7:37 pm
Just finished. What are you doing?
He grabbed his keys and, after saying a lukewarm goodbye to the others and politely declining their offers to join them at the bar, he walked out of the small room. The phone chimed again just as he stepped into the parking lot.
}7:40 pm
Giving a test. I'm so BORED :( I mean really, why can't labs count as test grades?
{7:41 pm
Idk, maybe you could suggest it next time, Cain wrote as he reached his car, but why are you giving a test at this hour?? Thought you'd be home by now
Even though the sky looked midnight black, it was still relatively early so Wyatt reconsidered his plans for the night.
{7:41 pm
Want me to pick you up?, he typed quickly before unlocking the car and getting in. He sat there for a short while, waiting for Ambrose's reply. Then he saw the first one had been sent while he was typing. It was a simple and unusually uninformative answer.
}7:41 pm
I was somewhere else earlier and had to reschedule
}7:42 pm
thanks but it's okay :) Leona offered me a ride, the other followed in quick succession.
{7:44 pm
Ok then, I'm about to drive so gotta go. Talk to you later... Pausing for a moment, his fingers hovered over the screen as he debated whether to add a heart or not. It was silly, but it wasn't that he didn't love Ambrose, or that he was hesitant about expressing it in any way. It was just that he wasn't one for overly dramatic or mushy messages. He preferred to show his affection face to face rather than through a couple of characters on a tiny screen. Much unlike Ambrose--who was constantly using the colorful emoticons, sometimes eerily specific ones that he didn't even know existed--Cain liked to keep things simple and practical. But he added a heart at the end anyway.
{7:44 pm
Talk to you later, sweetheart <3
Thankfully, the drive back to the apartment building was short and uneventful, with only the constant muffled buzzing of his phone interrupting the calm. By the time he got home, he could already feel the emotional stress of the day ebbing away in favor of the prospect of chatting with Ambrose.
Dinner would have to be some reheated leftovers since he still felt too drained to make anything else, so he sank down on the couch and scrolled through his messages while it got ready in the microwave.
}7:45 pm
Sure <3<3<3
}7:45 pm
Well actually, you're the one who can't talk >:D I'm still really bored though...
}7:48 pm
How did your day go? Better than mine I hope. At least you don't have to watch a bunch of mini adults struggle in dead silence for two hours.
}7:49 pm
Have you eaten? I had some Thai food and it was pretty great but not w
}7:49 pm
*What I wanted..
}7:51 pm
You know what I'd really really really love right now? An apple pie *A*
}7:53 pm
Are you there yet?
}7:57 pm
Guess not
}8:02 pm
Oh! I think one of the little monkeys is trying to cheat! Brb!!
}8:08 pm
Nope, false alarm... I think :/
Wyatt's tired frown had slowly faded into an amused expression at Ambrose's quirky one-sided conversation, but it faltered when he read the last few texts.
}8:10 pm
Are you home yet?
}8:11 pm
Um... Can I come over when I get there? I haven't had the best time today, and I miss you.
}8:12 pm
I got worried when you didn't meet me for lunch and then I had a thing that didn't go like I hoped and all I want right now is a little apple pie and to be with you.
That last part made a corner of his mouth lift up again. He put the phone down only as long as it took him to get his food, and then, leaving the hot plate on the coffee table, he started texting back.
{8:17 pm
Are your little monkeys almost done?
{8:17 pm
Today wasn't good for me either. Cain wasn't even halfway through the next text when another message came in.
}8:17 pm
Are you ok??
{8:19 pm
Fine. No one got hurt but it's a long story.
{8:19 pm
I'm about to eat. Leftovers.
}8:21 pm
Bon appetite ^-^
}8:22 pm
And yes, they're finally done. I was just getting my things and waiting for Leona to lock up the lab.
}8:26 pm
Just sit tight and eat. I'll be there in half an hour
}8:26 pm
I mean in the building... In case you'd rather be alone..??
{8:27 pm
Ambrose, you can come here whenever you want. You don't even have to ask.
{8:28 pm
I missed you too
{8:30 pm
And what's this "thing" that put a damper on your day?
When almost ten minutes had passed and Ambrose still hadn't answered, Cain finally put the phone aside and remembered to eat his now cold food. He considered just staying there and eating it like that, cold and old and slightly soggy, but he decided he didn't want to settle for a leftover piece of lasagna anymore. After talking with Ambrose, even if it was just texting, he suddenly felt a little more awake and avid than he had all day. The man just did that to him, brightened his mood with the simplest of gestures and made him snap out of the gloom he was known to fall into if he didn't watch himself. He realized he had a little craving of his own, and left the leftovers back in the fridge.
It was still early enough that going out wasn't out of the question, but he'd need to be quick and get here before Ambrose. Luckily, another great thing about this neighborhood was that everything one needed was just around the corner.
Less than half an hour later, Cain was back in the kitchen and had just started to prep the ingredients for the easy meal he wanted. The phone had remained silent during the five minute drive to the supermarket, and during the next five it took him to get what he needed, and during the ride back. But soon enough it didn't matter, because he heard a familiar rhythmic knocking at the door.
Leaving the hamburger steaks and onions frying in the skillet, he went to let in his neighbor-turned-boyfriend.
"Hello there, Mr. Cain." Ambrose stood there with his best neighborly grin, "Do you have some sugar I could borrow?"
"Yeah, I think I have something for you, come here." Wyatt said softly, playing along before pulling him into a gentle kiss.
They stumbled inside and pushed the door shut behind them clumsily, pressed close together and leaning against it until they had to part for air.
"Are you okay?" Ambrose asked when they broke the kiss , his voice going quiet and concerned. "Want to talk about it?"
"Later," Cain mumbled as he gave him one more peck on the lips, "For now I should probably go check on my food before it burns."
"Oh, you're cooking?" The rich smell of condiments and the nearly done meat wafted to them when they headed to the efficiently organized kitchen area, and Cain set back to work with a curious Ambrose in tow. "What happened to leftovers?"
"You made me come up with a better idea."
"And Jeb?" He asked, looking around as he took a seat at the counter.
"At a friend's. We have the place all to ourselves tonight so we don't have to go next door."
Ambrose laughed, "You really don't like my apartment, do you?"
Enjoying the relaxing mood that always settled when Ambrose was around, Cain put the finishing touches to his dinner, lowered the heat, and let it simmer on the skillet for another few minutes before serving it on a plate.
After cutting the steaks evenly and taking an immensely satisfying bite, he offered a piece to Ambrose. "Try this."
The other man's thin lips closed around the fork obligingly and his mobile eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Mm," Ambrose nodded, humming around a mouthful of steak, "It's so good."
Purely by incident, Cain had made just enough for two. That, coupled with a bit of wine left from a recent more intimate occasion, and each other's company, made for a much nicer dinner than he had originally planned. They kept up their usual lighthearted banter while they ate, neither wanting to get into heavier topics yet, and it was just what Wyatt needed.
Once they were done, he stood up and stepped behind Ambrose, covering his eyes with both hands.
"Wyatt? What are you doing?" He asked with an interested smile.
"And now for dessert..." Was all Cain said in response, shifting to use only one hand to keep Ambrose from peeking while he reached for the carton box in the last bag of groceries with the other.
"Did you--You did!" Ambrose beamed when Cain's hand fell away and he saw the store-bought apple pie. He turned on his seat to face Cain and held his face in his hands before proclaiming, in that way he often did that sounded comically dramatic but also utterly serious at the same time, "You are the best."
Hours later, after they had had their fill of apple pie and everything else they had been craving, it was Cain who broke the easy silence and dove into the dark part of his day.
"Long story short," he said, not able to give all the details for various reasons, "It was a kid, barely older than Jeb... He had run away a few weeks ago and we found him today when he held a cashier at gunpoint. We got to him without anyone getting hurt. But yesterday he was a missing boy and now he's a criminal that will be tried as an adult. If we'd found him earlier..." If he had found him earlier, he would have done what he was supposed to do; he would have been able to help, but he was too late.
"That's awful," Ambrose said quietly, laying a hand on Cain's chest as he curled up closer, "But you did what you could. It could have been worse, and at least you protected that cashier, right? You did something good, Wy, don't forget that."
Wyatt let out a heavy sigh, as if officially expunging the events for good. He was a cop after all, and that incident wasn't the worst thing he had seen by a long shot. It wasn't, and wouldn't be, the most personally jarring either; but every now and then something like this would come up that made him think of life outside of the job, and it would take a little extra effort to detach himself from those feelings. Or to acknowledge them, and cope with them some other way.
"What about you?" Cain turned his attention to Ambrose, "You never answered my last message."
"Which one?" He tried to shrug it off, but going by how his whole body tensed and how nervous he sounded, Cain knew he had seen it.
"What happened?" Now he was the one who sounded worried, "What's wrong?"
Now Ambrose was the one who sighed, but it wasn't a cleansing final type of sigh like his had been. It was the kind that was let out when someone was about to do something they dreaded. Cain was patiently looking down at Ambrose, observing his flowing expressions, and for a moment he thought he wouldn't tell him. But the time for silence was over, and Ambrose sat up just enough to look at him in the eyes.
"I don't want to hide anything from you but--" he started, then tried again, "It's just that, every time I've told this to someone it seems like they end up running away in fear or disgust or both. But I trust you. Do you trust me?"
"Yes." Wyatt said without hesitation. It was still early in their relationship, they were both still trying to map out how the other would be in this new context, and he wasn't the kind of person who gave his trust quickly. But there was something about Ambrose that he had encountered in very few people before, a sort of innocent brilliance that came with the whole package of long talks, odd hobbies, endearing smiles, a childish brand of optimism, and the best of intentions. Ambrose trusted him, so he trusted Ambrose.
"Then long story short," he sighed, "Five years ago, I was in an accident. I needed brain surgery and well, I went through a lot of therapy but I'm still not exactly where I was before. You know all those times I lose track of what time of day it is? Or when I forget what I was talking about and switch topics, or when I trip over my own feet and laugh it off as being clumsy, or why I get confused about directions, why I don't drive, why I lost my old job... It's because of that."
He paused, letting Cain process that while he kept scanning his eyes carefully to gauge his reaction, then continued when he didn't say anything. "I'm much better than I was a few years ago, but I still have little 'glitches'. I try not to let them show so much, so I meditate and stay positive to lower my stress level. But it's like once people know, they notice them even more and suddenly it's not 'cute' or 'quirky'. It's weird and uncomfortable, and I'm just something broken."
Cain stayed quiet and Ambrose sighed again and went on. "I know it's not really their fault but suddenly all I can see in their eyes is the pity. And that's been in the best of cases. What happened today," he said, looking away for the first time, "was that I had an appointment with my neurologist to see how everything was going. I really thought I was getting better, but I'm not. She said it's highly unlikely I'll ever be able to go back to how things were."
He shook his head lightly and let out a single sad laugh, "That wasn't a short story at all, sorry."
Those deep brown eyes, so dark and bright at the same time, were fixed on his own again, waiting for whatever he had to say. But Wyatt just pulled him down and kissed his forehead, then his lips, and then just held him close like before. Because he understood. In a way, he had experienced the same thing. Not for revealing something like brain damage, but for letting people know about Adora. There was no going back for him either, and the few times he had told the few partners he had had since his wife died, something changed. Suddenly they acted like they were walking on eggshells and like he could break with just a word. He knew it could be too much for some people, that they didn't want to feel like someone's 'second choice' or weren't willing to deal with that kind of baggage. Sooner or later he had always noticed that brief look that meant they felt sorry for him; as if he had nothing left to offer.
Ambrose had never looked at him like that. He looked at him with love and pride, amusement and awe, sometimes frustration, yet also trust and loyalty; sometimes worry and concern like today. But never pity.
Ambrose understood, and that was all Cain needed.
He still had questions but he didn't ask any of them that night. Instead, he showed the brilliant man in his arms just how much he loved him, sometimes with words and sometimes without.
In the morning, after they ate breakfast together and Ambrose slipped into his own apartment to get changed, Wyatt's phone chimed and he read one more message that, though unexpectedly solemn and short, made him smile all the same.
}7:32 am
Thank you.