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The blast of the Wuxi Finger Hold left Tai Lung hurling to an unknown location, high in the air. It seemed like he’d never land until he felt and heard the crashing of trees and suddenly he was laying on the ground.
It hurt.
Everything hurt. His body, his mind… his pride. To be defeated by the likes of that Po. Disgraceful. Rage burned through him as he pulled himself to his feet despite the screaming pain in his ribs and dragged himself through the brush. The foliage finally parted and he found himself in a vast and well taken care of garden. As good a place as any to rest until he’s strong enough to find somewhere safer.
He walks along a bridge that passes over calm water, the bank is lined with colorful flowers and cherry blossoms are in bloom ahead of him. A figure comes into view as he reaches the other side. Perhaps some sort of rich noble. He’s in an extravagant silk robe as he practices what looks to be Tai Chi. The clouded leopard pauses in his movements. The young man looks soft and almost frail, Tai Lung is about to lay out a threat for silence when the figure turns to look right at him.
Except not quite. Sightless and clouded blue eyes stare right through him and any words he was mustering dies in his throat.
“Is someone there?” A calm and gentle voice calls to him and Tai Lung’s body feels rooted to his spot as he clutches his side. He finally clears his throat and pushes enough air from his lungs to rasp out something he hopes is akin to speech.
“I-I.. will only stay for a moment… to catch my breath.” Something about the sightless eyes and the silent air of leadership about the young spotted leopard makes him stutter, even without the pain he’s in. It surprises the snow leopard as he finally takes another step forward.
“You sound hurt.” The voice states worriedly and then he comes closer, even without sight his paws find the other and he gently leads the injured Kung Fu master to a porch that’s connected to a rather extravagant looking house. It seems he landed right in his walled off garden. “Rest here a while, I’ll call one of my staff to dress your wounds. I have an on sight doctor. An on-sight doctor? What for? He meant to only voice that in his mind but he must have said it out loud because the stranger smiles softly and turns pale eyes towards the sky.
“I am blind, as you can see. But I also suffer from many other problems, I was born sick and I am terribly frail. I must get regular check ups to make sure my heart is beating properly.” He looks back down at Tai Lung, his smile is a little self-deprecating. “Yet I am the Lord of this estate, my father left everything to me. A son who can bare no children and is as frail and fleeting as a cherry blossom.” His sightless eyes drift as he focuses on the sound of a small waterfall. “My name is Lan Bāo, but Lan is just fine.”
Tai Lung is momentarily struck dumb for some reason before his mouth finally opens. He’s about to say his name but the words lodge in his throat once more, a twinge of something akin to fear burns deep in his gut. Fear of telling the stranger his name, and Lan seems to notice his hesitance.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He says kindly as his paws cross in his lap politely. Bare back paws scrape against the cobble path as he kicks them slightly. He suddenly takes a bell from the inside of his robe and rings it. A few moments later a black bunny comes from inside the house and stops beside him.
“Yes Master Bāo?” She asks as she eyes Tai Lung suspiciously.
“How many times must I insist you call me Lan?” He huffs a soft laugh before continuing. “Would you call the doctor to treat my friend here?” The rabbit girl seems unconvinced but eventually turns away.
“Right away, master.” She goes on light paws and the pair sit in silence before Lan slips off the porch, his tail waving placidly.
“Lunch will be served soon, after you’re treated for your wounds you may join me. If you’d like.” He doesn’t wait for an answer as he walks a bit away and seems to continue his Tai Chi movements. They’re fluid and graceful. Tai Lung can’t help but watch, even as the doctor comes to examine him where he sits.
———
The lunch seems light, fried rice and tea eggs. Complimented with warm green tea and red bean buns for dessert. It’s surprisingly comfortable as they sit out under the gazebo to eat, Tai Lung realizes as he takes another bite that this is the first time he’s eaten like this with someone in probably over a decade. The revelation is a little hallowing as he takes another bite, his wrapped torso twinges in pain.
“I assume your injuries will heal alright? The doctor told me they were quite extensive. Broken ribs, internal damage? I imagine you’ll need plenty of rest.” Tai Lung isn’t sure what to say to that, so he says nothing. It’s not like he has the luxury to do so.
“If you’d like.. I would gladly host you here until you are well again, if you have nowhere else to go.” Tai Lung’s eyes fly to meet the other’s, but he’s only met with a calm and blank stare as Lan chews slowly. He clears his still raspy throat, taking a sip of warm tea.
“I couldn’t possibly.” He mumbles out as he hides his face behind his cup, despite the fact he isn’t being seen by anyone. He’s not sure why that gaze makes him feel so exposed. So seen.
“It wouldn’t be a trouble at all.” Lan’s smile stretches wider and it looks almost conspiratorial. “If I’m being honest, it’s rather boring here. You’re the most interesting animal I’ve ever met.”
“You don’t even know who I am.” He blurts out before he can stop himself.
“And isn’t that fun?” Lan tilts his head and Tai pauses momentarily to study the way the sunlight catches those cloudy blue orbs.
“I-… I would be honored if you’d allow me to stay here until I’m healed.” Lan’s smile turns into a grin. “But only until I’m healed, then I’ll be on my way.” He adds on quickly before shoving another bite into his mouth.
“Of course.” Lan agrees amicably before continuing his meal as well. The tension in Tai’s shoulders eases slightly, here where he isn’t being watched. He allows himself a moment to just.. be. He’ll have his time to regain strength and claim his spot as the Dragon Warrior. He scowls and pushes away the thought, a knot forming in his throat. Now wasn’t the time to think on that, right now he was here talking to the kind stranger.
———
It takes over a week before Tai Lung can start slowly training again. The doctor insists he start slow, and usually he wouldn’t give in to such a weak opinion, but the look Lan gives him makes him agree before he can think about it too hard. During that time, the two talk a lot. Tai finds himself anticipating their next moment alone to talk about anything and everything. He still hasn’t told his name, but he’s shared some of his life. Namely his life of Kung Fu and his goal of supremacy. Lan listens with a quiet demeanor, only nodding along or prompting when the story lulls. He’s a good listener, and gives insightful input. The way he acts is much older and wiser than his 26-year-old self. It sort of irks Tai Lung, that he’s over 40 with half the amount of surety in himself and the world around him that Lan has.
The snow leopard watches now as the younger feline goes through his Tai Chi routine, motions fluid like a dance. He’s beautiful he thinks privately to himself. In the way those thin arms arc into the air and he steps with a sureness despite his lack of sight. It’s not the first time Tai Lung has thought this, but it’s the first time he’s actively caught it and questioned his thought process. That thought suddenly scares him, the implications of it. Never in his whole life has he taken a long enough moment to appreciate someone to the point of calling them beautiful.
He’s startled when someone sits next to him. Lan had finished without him noticing and the small clouded leopard smiles up at him, his fur shines in the warm afternoon sunlight and those glassy eyes catch the light just so, like they always do. Tai Lung swallows.
“Have you started training again? Perhaps you can join me in my routine?” Tai turns to look at the spot that the other feline had stood moments ago, if only to avoid his gaze.
“I don’t think I could do that. I’m much too harsh.”
“Nonsense, anyone can do it. The purpose is to find inner peace.” Lan turns his face up towards the sky. “Is the sky blue today?” He suddenly asks, and it stops Tai’s train of thought.
“Uh-..” he looks up at the warm summer sky. “Yeah, a few wispy clouds but other than that the sun is shining very brightly. The.. sky is really blue.” Like your eyes. The thought comes unbidden as he looks back at the other.
“You know.. I wanted to learn Kung Fu many years ago, when I was a boy. My nursemaid would read me bedtime stories of great fighters who saved China from doom time and time again.” The smile he has grows nostalgic.
“Doesn’t it make you angry?” Tai Lung spits out suddenly, finally voicing something that’s been eating away at him. “That you can’t? That you’re confined to this estate? That you can’t… see the sky?” Lan’s face turns back towards the sky as he hums thoughtfully.
“When I was young, at one time. I felt anger. ‘It wasn’t fair.’ I thought to myself often. Because it wasn’t, was it? That I was born without my sight when I had so much I wanted to do? When my father had so many expectations for me.” His eyes find his again and Tai Lung is struck with that feeling once more, like he’s being seen. “But what’s the point in that? I can’t control the way I was born any more than I can change the fact that I’m a clouded leopard. It’s a part of me, who I am. I can still do many things, and being upset over it won’t change anything.” A paw comes up slowly to give Tai Lung the opportunity to pull away, but he’s so frozen he wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted to. A warm palm lays on his shoulder and the leopard has to fight the urge to take that smaller paw in his own large calloused ones and hold it tight.
“Anger will eat you up if you allow it to.” The look on Lan’s face speaks of a deep knowing as he stares at Tai Lung. It makes him feel uncomfortable.
“The tree stands so patiently, Not asking, "What can I be?, What can I be?" For a tree is as sure as a tree can be, That its purpose in life is to be a tree, Without a doubt, it knows its worth, Roots delving deep into the Earth, Branches standing strong and proud, Pointing at the passing clouds, All of nature loves the tree, In its beautiful simplicity, And without speaking, it teaches me, To be happy with just being me.” Lan quotes something that seems to be a poem. Tai feels something in his chest tighten and squeeze into knots, then a feeling of anger bubbles up from his throat. He isn’t sure why.
He gets the inexplicable urge to say something mean. To lash out and throw any insult he can at Lan, to push him away. Too close, too close. Tai Lung jumps up and takes a few steps away. Lan doesn’t seem bothered as his gaze drifts over to the garden, listening to the birdsong.
“I need.. to think alone for a while.” Tai grits out. It wouldn’t be fair to lash out right now, he knows that. Lan did nothing wrong, he doesn’t deserve that. Yet the urge is there and on the tip of his tongue so he does the only thing he knows he can, he turns and runs. Into the estate and down hall after hall.
He stays at the front gate for some time, pondering his reaction. Why it was so visceral and why he took what was said so personally. His anger was righteous, justified. He got what was rightfully his ripped away from him. He deserved to be Dragon Warrior. All the blood sweat and tears.. he deserved it. All the hours he spent training until his body was broken and bloody, only to get up and do it all over again.
But there isn’t really a Dragon Warrior, the scroll was fake. The thought comes suddenly and he remembers looking at that blank scroll, his face reflected back at him. He shouts out a guttural roar as he slashed at the ground, tearing up grass and dirt. All that work, gone for nothing. All that effort. The bitterness is so deep it makes his chest ache. He sits in the grass and debates whether or not he should leave. He could now, he’d survive. But Lan is the only one who would show him kindness. Who has shown him kindness, unbelievable kindness. If he knew who he was, would he still lay his paw on his shoulder like that? Impart him with his wisdom, so deep for a man so young? Would he smile at him in that way he seems to do? Those glassy eyes crinkling in the corners as he laughs at Tai Lung for scaring his servants again. Something deep in his chest aches, a longing unlike anything he’s felt. Deeper than his want for power, the closest thing he can think of is the feeling he had when he stood over Shifu and heard the old man’s confessions. Of the love he harbored for him. Lies! He hissed to himself as he tucked his head into his knees.
He laid motionless for quite some time before near silent steps made his head jerk up with the beginnings of a snarl. There stood Lan Bāo in all his glory, he was smiling again. Always smiling.
“Why not come back to the garden? I can’t imagine my front gate is very comfortable.” Tai Lung slowly pulls himself to stand, thankful that the other leopard can’t see his pitiful state. Lan holds out a paw expectantly and slowly the larger cat takes it in his. The fur is soft, and the pads on his fingers are smooth and un-calloused, he momentarily wonders if his own paws are uncomfortable to hold, but Lan holds it all the same and they head back to the garden slowly. They sit in their usual spot and a speckled rabbit comes over holding a tea tray, he sets it down and Tai Lung avoids looking at him. He doesn’t want him to see the pitiful look on his face, even if no tears have fallen yet.
“Umm.. Would you like a tea cake, sir?” The rabbit leans forward to try and catch Tai Lung’s eye. That old anger flares up like a firework blast and he whirls around with a roar and a raised fist. The rabbit squeals as he stumbles back and tries to cover his face. A firm grip on his forearm stops any hit from landing, he looks down to see Lan holding his arm in a surprisingly strong grip. There is no anger on his face or scent, only a calm understanding.
“No thank you Ming, you can leave.” The rabbit scurries off with a bow. Lan turns towards him, even if he can’t see it seems like his eyes always find his own. “When has anger ever gotten you what you wanted? Anger only leads to more suffering.. and in the end those who got what they wanted through it, come to find it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. It wasn’t worth the anger and pain they inflicted on others. On themselves.” That same air of knowing passed over Lan’s face and even without being seen he felt exposed. Tai jerked his arm away, rubbing a paw over where the other’s was. His fur was raised along his spine and arms, like there was a threat nearby. Yet there was no threat, just them talking. But his heart pounded all the same and his claws tingled like he needed to flex them and defend himself.
“Why.. are you so angry? I sense it in your scent, in the tone of your voice, the harshness of your steps. You always have an underlying anger, waiting to come up to the surface at any opportunity it can sink it’s claws into.” Tai Lung feels that spoken of anger try to bubble it’s way up. He feels defensive, like he has to say something to discredit the statement. Yet there isn’t anything he can think of, it’s true. He is angry. Angry all the time.
“I’m angry because everything that was supposed to be mine, was taken away by some idiot who doesn’t even deserve it.” He snaps as he looks at his clenched fists, his puffed up tail flicking agitatedly. Lan doesn’t seem perturbed.
“Why was it yours? Maybe this animal worked just as hard as you did.” Lan tilts his head curiously.
“I KNOW he didn’t!” He growls out lowly, rolling his tense shoulders. It felt like his body was preparing for a fight, yet there was no outlet for the pent up energy. “That’s why I don’t understand. You had your dreams ripped away from you the moment you opened your eyes and found nothing but emptiness. I had these.. these dreams planted in my head that I could be whatever I wanted, but my fa-.. master filled up my head, pushed me until I was broken. Only to rip it away when I was deemed unfit!” He slows is tirade when he realizes he’s been shouting. He looks over at Lan, who’s staring blankly at the sky again.
“My father told me from the moment I could understand that I wouldn’t be able to learn Kung Fu. Or live a normal life outside these walls. He told me I was too weak, that all I could do was live here. To take over the property and someday hope to maybe continue the family name, if I had a miracle child or.. adopted some orphan.” He looks over at Tai Lung expectantly. “He didn’t know any other way, that’s all he knew that I could do. He tried his best to raise me right, instill in me all his principles, pushed for me to have as comfortable a life as my body would allow. Does that make him a bad father? A bad person?” Tai Lung doesn’t know what to say, there’s a knot in his throat as big as his fist and it feels like if he swallowed he’d choke.
“Parents aren’t perfect, all they can do is try to do the right thing. Pass on what they know and pray, to try and raise a good kid. A strong cub who can live in this world.
“They don’t always know what’s right, all the choices they need to make.. but they try their best. That’s all we can ask for. That’s all we can try to do. Try to do the right thing, live true to yourself and put all your effort in. That’s what matters. To your parents, to the world, to yourself.” Tai can’t bare to look at those eyes anymore so he closes his own, to stare at the back of his eyelids as his throat unclogs to finally choke something out.
“What if.. my best isn’t good enough.” His body feels impossibly wound tight, like a bow string ready to snap.
“It’s good enough for me. And I think… it was good enough for him, too.” And there it is, like the string was cut, his body suddenly releases all the tension and his muscles relax as he deflates. Then the tears come, so hot and thick he can’t stop them. They pour from his eyes so heavily that when he opens them the world is only blurred shapes. He’s hiccuping before he realizes, sobs wrack his body and he hunches over himself to try and lessen the tremors. Soft arms wrap over his shoulders, warm. So warm. A paw rubs up and down his arm as the other holds his head against someone’s chest. No one has ever held him like this before, he’s never even cried like this before.
He just wanted to be strong, to stand next to his father and know that he could protect him. Protect everyone. Have everyone look at him and know he had come to save the day. Yet here he is in the arms of a man who doesn’t even know who he is, who would shun him if he really knew. He’s hated by all, loved by none. In the end, anger did cause him to lose everything. It hurt everyone, but most of all it hurt himself. Instead of living a fulfilling life with his master, making friends and teaching the younger generation.. he was locked away and forgotten. Left to fester in his hatred and self-pity. He buries his face in that soft fur, savoring it while it lasts. A purr rumbles from the smaller body under him. His whole body is plastered to this man like he’s a little boy again, hugging his stuffed toy after a harsh day of training. His body aching from overuse.
Then the shame comes, fiery hot and burning through him like red iron. Shame for who he is, what he’s done. Shame for taking advantage of this kind soul, allowing him to feed and house him. To share jokes and laughter. He speaks then, muffled and broken as it sounds. He keeps his face buried in that shoulder, as if maybe he can hide from the truth a little longer.
“If you.. knew who I was. You wouldn’t say such things.” He warbled out as he pushes further into the wet fur, the intensity of his hug had tugged one of the younger feline’s shoulders free from the silk robe, the fur there curled as it dampened but Lan only held on tighter as he quieted his purring to speak.
“If someone told me a year ago I’d be hugging Tai Lung right now, I’d have called the doctor to check them over for concussion.” Lan laughed softly and the words made the snow leopard jerk back to look at his face, his large paws swallowing the other’s thin frame. Their faces were mere inches apart as he stared wide eyed.
“You know who I am? How long have you known?”
“After the first day. I thought it not a coincidence that an injured Kung Fu master appeared in my garden who also happened to be a snow leopard on the same day the ‘Terrible Tai Lung’ was deemed defeated.” Tai blinked at those unseeing eyes and the amused look on his face.
“How did you know I was a snow leopard?”
“My servants told me.” Lan laughed like it was something simple. And maybe it was. He’s not sure why he thought someone so kind and understanding would turn him away so cruelly. The smaller leopard leans forward and runs his cheek along the other’s. It’s such a soft and gentle gesture that Tai Lung is momentarily stunned by it. It’s something reserved for family and…
“Did you just scent me?” He asks with raise brows and for once the calm clouded leopard looks a bit embarrassed.
“A little too much?-“ he’s cut off as Tai Lung pushes his head forward to rub it along the other’s. His chin, his cheek, his forehead. All along his face he rubs the scent glands on his muzzle. This is also something he’s never really done before, it makes a purr want to rumble it’s way up into his chest, and he allows it. In as long as he can remember, he feels warm and safe, he feels comfortable and understood. The aching in his chest hurts, but in a good way. Like sore muscles after having fun all day, it’s warm like how they burn after he completes his first full set of Kung Fu moves. It’s warm like a bowl of wonton soup, warm like the sun on his fur at the top of the mountain in the temple courtyard. Warm like Master Shifu’s voice when he tells stories of the original Furious Five.
It’s warm like Home.