Chapter Text
“Alright, Ei-ji-rou,” Kaminari punctuated each syllable with a poke to Kirishima’s chest. “Truth or dare.”
“Wellll…just to switch things up…truth!”
“Interesting…interesting.” Kaminari stroked his chin as he contemplated what was sure to be a scandalous question of some kind. Oh shit. Kirishima realized that he’d made a terrible mistake. It was apparent that Kaminari had come up with something juicy in a matter of moments. Kirishima glanced around his circle of friends in hopes of moral support, but they all seemed equally intrigued by Kaminari’s lightbulb moment. Even Bakugou had an incredulous eyebrow cocked.
“So Ei, would you please share with the group, what was the best orgasm you’ve ever had?” Kaminari rubbed his palms together in what appeared to be a piss poor mimic of the bad guy in the last B movie they’d watched. Kirishima, on the other hand, was doing his best impression of the blinking white guy meme.
“Bro,” Sero interjected. “I can’t believe you actually asked that.”
“Really?” Ashido countered, rolling her eyes at Kaminari’s behavior. “It seems pretty on brand to me.” Kirishima was frighteningly aware that neither of them had suggested he not answer the question though.
“What?!” Kaminari sounded genuinely offended. “It’s a great question for Truth or Dare!”
Unfortunately, Kirishima had to admit it was certainly one of the more creative truths he’d ever been asked. But he absolutely did not want to discuss the results of his latest… self-exploration exercise.
“I…uh…I–”
“Well?” Bakugou suddenly piped up. And dear god did Kirishima not want him to know. More than any of the others. They wouldn’t disown him for being curious. But Bakugou? The person who always came to mind when Kirishima had too much time on his hands? Yeah, he did not need to know. “Are you man enough to answer?”
Damn. That was a low blow he wasn’t expecting. He’d totally assumed Bakugou would have little interest. But now he really had to respond. His manliness was on the line.
With his heart racing, brow sweating, and his face certainly only a shade or two lighter than his hair, Kirishima cleared his throat.
“Well…um…it’s a little weird out of context,” he admitted.
“Then give us the context!” Kaminari seemed way too invested in destroying Kirishima’s reputation for his liking. He sighed, resigned to his fate. Sero and Ashido leaned in and nodded their heads for him to continue.
“Well…okay…I guess…um…Do you guys ever feel kinda…I dunno…self-conscious about yourselves…like appearance-wise?”
“Bro! As if you have anything to be self-conscious about! Have you seen yourself?” Sero swooped in.
“Hanta is totally right, but Kiri, your feelings are completely valid. I think it would be more unusual if someone said they didn’t ever feel that way about themselves.” Ashido scooted closer and affectionately rubbed small circles on his nearest shoulder.
“‘Tch,” Bakugou started muttering. “Whoever the fuck made you feel that way is fucking blind or some shit.” Kirishima’s stomach flipped. Did that mean…what he thought it meant? The others hummed and nodded in agreement. Before he had a chance to process the implications of that statement and the slight flush on Bakugou’s cheeks, Kaminari spoke back up.
“Eiji. Bro. Manliest man of all men. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re hot AF . Gotta go with Kacchan on this one.” The nickname earned Kaminari a growl but the hostility was less pronounced than it used to be.
“Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.” He had the /best/ friends. Truly. “But well…I guess the answer to the original question helped me…um…get out of the worst of that headspace.”
“Oh, shit! Well now we've gotta know.”
“Yeah, bro! What’s the secret?”
“Well…I–” Kirishima looked around at his friends once again, but his gaze lingered on Bakugou’s face a bit longer. His features had softened from some unidentifiable emotion in his gaze. Perhaps it was curiosity. Whatever it was, it pushed him to continue after he dropped his eyes to the floor. “So…ya know how sometimes I film my workouts to check my form and progress? Well watching those can kinda make or break my mood depending on the day. So I started doing some research online about hyping yourself up and whatever. And eventually I ended up seeing a comment on a subreddit about…well…filming yourself doing… other things.”
“What? Like fuckin’ or something?” Everyone in the room’s jaws dropped at Bakugou’s straightforwardness. Clearly no one was expecting him to come to that conclusion, or at least not that quickly. Kirishima could see him squirm a little bit under their scrutiny. “What?! Don’t tell me you extras weren’t thinking the same damn thing!”
“No, yeah. You’re right,” Kirishima intervened before Bakugou’s ruffled feathers turned into popping palms. “But like obviously I’m not having…ahem… sex with anyone right now…so I…uh…maybe filmed myself jacking it?” It came out as a very high pitched question, but it was absolutely what had happened and it had indeed resulted in the best orgasm of his life.
“Woah.”
“Dude.”
“Holy shit, Kiri! That’s hot as fuck! Did you watch it later? Or…did you share it with someone?” Kaminari’s suggestive eyebrows elicited an unintelligible grumble from Bakugou.
“No way, man! Unsolicited dick pics are hella unmanly and that’s like a dick pic on steroids. I’d never send that to somebody.” Well maybe one person who just so happened to be sitting like ten feet away. But only if he asked for it, which would obviously never happen.
“You should share it in the group chat.”
“EW! Kami, what the fuck?? I love Kiri as much as y’all do but I absolutely never want to see that video. No offense of course,” Ashido added after she realized that could be taken as rude.
“None taken,” Kirishima chuckled. He rather appreciated the sentiment.
“Yeah, gotta go with Mina on this one, bro. I appreciate dick as much as the next guy but I don’t need to see the monster Kiri’s packing in its full glory.” Kirishima sputtered.
“It’s not a monster , Hanta! Just a little larger than average,” he whispered timidly at the end.
“Pfft, more like double the average,” Kaminari scoffed and bumped Sero’s shoulder playfully.
“And how would you know, Dunce Face?!” Bakugou was absolutely fuming, and once again, Kirishima had no idea how to interpret that response. What was up with him tonight? Was he… jealous ? There was no way…although a boy could dream.
“Even though I have never nor will I ever share a locker room with you dummies, meaning I’m operating from pure speculation, I’m still pretty confident that if you looked up the definition of ‘big dick energy’ in the dictionary, there’d just be a picture of Eijiro.” Kaminari and Sero hummed and nodded their heads in agreement. Bakugou had resigned himself to sulking with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Okay…well…uh…while I appreciate your support, can we do anything else other than talking about my dick? Besides, isn’t it my turn to ask somebody?” Kirishima was so ready for this conversation to be over.
“Ooo! Pick me! Pick me!” And with Kaminari’s enthusiastic volunteering, he’d successfully steered away from any further discussion of his masturbation habits. At least it hadn’t gone as badly as he’d feared.