Work Text:
Harry shifts his phone so that it is more comfortable against his ear. His navy beanie covers the topmost part of it so that the words that come out of the speaker are a little muffled, but Harry is way too cold to adjust his hold. He would rather have a barely intelligible conversation than sacrifice one of his only sources of warmth. God, he hates winter.
Although, technically, it’s fall. Everyone always advertised autumn as a sea of colors and crunchy leaves, but right now it’s only bitter winds and rain that feels like packets of ice against his skin. He once again thinks of summer and the plan to spend three weeks in Italy as soon as both he and Liam manage to find lulls in both of their schedules. He can almost imagine the sensation of Mediterranean sun tanning his skin. Almost. He’s half convinced that he will never feel any type of proper sunshine again. He has lived in Toronto his entire life, but god, he is ready to leave.
“Harry?” Liam’s voice prompts through the phone, shaking him out of his thoughts of a far off vacation. “Are you still there?”
“Yes,” he replied. “Can I call you back? I’m at the studio.”
There’s a moment of silence. They both know that no one would even blink if Harry walked inside while talking on the phone; everyone does it. But Liam must be more exhausted than Harry realized because he just sighs and tells him to call as soon as he can. His stomach twists unpleasantly when he hears the dial tone. Most people in this business would kill to have a manager like Liam, someone who truly cares for the person rather than the paycheck. He wonders, for not the first time, if he’s taking the other man for granted.
“No,” Liam had insisted the one time Harry had brought the subject up. “It’s just different between me and you. We’re actual friends, you know? You’re not just a client.”
It’s true, they have been the best of friends for over sixteen years. The only reason Harry even decided to attempt to get into this industry is because Liam urged him to. More like begged, really, but they both pretend that never happened. Even caring and loving people like Liam have pride.
Harry pockets his phone as he enters the building. It’s not really a proper studio as the majority of Room 626 is filmed on location instead of artificially made sets. The building in question is actually a rather small apartment complex that’s owned by some relative of the head writer. It used to be a hotel, Harry heard, but it closed down when its previous owner died in an accident. They were currently renovating it before it officially opened for renting, and the writer somehow convinced them to let them use the bottom few floors for filming. It’s good advertisement for them is what Liam had said when Harry asked about this setup. It always comes back to making money.
Money. He replays the conversation he just had with Liam again, one of several that always follows the same pattern. Harry’s role on the popular show isn’t a very large one. He plays one of the main characters’ best friends who only appears every few episodes. He’s usually just in a few scenes, there to provide a good contrast between Elliott’s—the name of his fictional bestie—old life and his new, more exciting one in the apartment complex. It’s still the best gig he has ever gotten though. Before all Liam had been able to land him were one episode only appearances and extremely tiny roles in film. This, at least, gives him a steady paycheck until he finds something better or the writers decide that he’s no longer needed to drive the show forward. It’s something that Liam fears will happen, that it’s definitely the direction that Elliott’s character arc is heading.
So he has been relentless in trying to land another job for Harry. It is easier than it was before; the show is a very popular one and, even though he isn’t a very important part of it, Harry is in the cast. He is a lot more recognizable now than he had been six months ago. Liam wants to get another somewhat minor role so that the workload won’t be too much for the still novice Harry. Garner more exposure until he can get something bigger.
Harry, however, is somewhat hesitant. It’s a little silly, but he kind of feels like it’ll be a betrayal to his current show? And that’s absurd, of course, because plenty of actors and actresses do more than one thing at once. Hell, one of the main cast members, Zayn Malik, is currently filming a movie. They had to rearrange a lot of things in order to accommodate his overflowing schedule, but it’s not like anyone could really complain about it. Zayn brought in like half of their viewers based on his looks alone.
He envisions just how exhausted Zayn looks on some days, after the camera has stopped rolling. He never sits down and rests though, just says his goodbyes and hurries out the door to the next thing on his agenda. Harry isn’t sure if that’s the kind of life he actually wants. He only really tried out this career because Liam insisted he has the talent for it. Maybe he does, but what good is that if you also don’t have any real drive? No, it isn’t good to be thinking these kinds of things before the day has even really begun. He only has two scenes to shoot today, one where his character and Elliott have a heart to heart after the latter’s date goes badly and another for when that plotline gets neatly wrapped up. It shouldn’t take too long to film and he plans on doing some grocery shopping after. Possibly call Liam back; he should at least try to be excited by potential new shows.
He waves hi to crew members as he makes his way through the lobby. Most of them are here already, checking out their equipment and making sure everything is in proper order. Harry slows down as he passes by one of the cameramen. He sort of wishes that he could be behind the camera instead of in front of it; he sometimes considers staying in this line of work, but switching the specifics of it. Even the thought of Liam's job fascinates him, the idea that he's helping a fledging actor reach their dreams far more appealing than the one of him being that actor.
He sees a crowd of people out back in the large patio. That’s probably where they will film the first scene of the day, one that Harry isn’t a part of. He wasn’t even scheduled to come in for another two hours, but he just loves watching it all happen. It’s one thing to sit on a couch and watch television. The real magic, Harry thinks, is the unseen parts. The choice in lighting and wardrobe and all the small details that an average viewer would never notice, but are highly relevant to the atmosphere for the show. He doesn’t mind waking up a little earlier than required if it means he can watch this all unfold.
He mingles with other people who aren’t busy, asking them about their days and agreeing to a group night out. Later on, he’s shocked when he looks at his phone and sees that it is a quarter til ten, his real scheduled time of arrival. His copy of the script said that the first scene is going to be filmed in Elliott’s apartment and he begins to walk over to the stairs that will take him to the costume and makeup department when he collides into a body. Elliott’s.
No. Louis'. He stumbles a bit, and Harry instantly reaches over to steady him. He laughs out a thank you, ruffles Harry’s hair, and is then called away by someone. Harry watches him go, as he yells out greetings to everyone within twenty feet of him, until he vanishes around a corner. He has been working with Louis for a couple of months now and he’s still a little starstruck, if he’s honest.
Although only twenty-five, Louis has a very impressive career behind him. He and Zayn both debuted in some film they did in university that ended up having a much bigger critical response than anyone had been expecting. He has won an Emmy and Golden Globe, with a few other nominations under his belt. This show is the first project that the two of them have done together since their first film, which is part of the reason the hype over it was so big. Harry really is lucky that he managed to snag a place in it. If things kept going the way it did, awards season is definitely going to bring good fortune to them.
He considers that for a moment. Being a member of the cast of an award winning show would do wonders for him. At least, he’ll be more likely to get a call back after an audition. Get more roles, get his name out there, and then—what? He really needs to find some motivation sometime soon. He really mustn’t waste this chance.
The rest of the morning passes by breezily. He takes a little too long getting his hair done; Lou brought in her little girl and Harry spent more time playing peek-a-boo with her than sitting in the chair that the hairdresser keeps shoving him onto. Once he’s all set with that and his makeup, he wanders to where the majority of the crew is. They’ve just finished whatever they had been working on so Harry figures that now would be a good time to move to his scene's location.
Louis is already there, tapping away at his phone with a frown on his face. He glances up when Harry enters the room and gives him a brief smile before turning his attention back to his phone. They are the only two inside, and it shouldn’t make Harry feel as nervous as it does. He has spent a good amount of time with Louis already. They should be like friends by now.
Only… they’re not, not really. Louis is notorious for one thing—he is extremely private. He only allows the bare minimum of personal details to reach the public’s ears. He’ll tell a charming story about his younger sisters or his time in college before he started filming his first project, but if anyone tries to delve deeper Louis will derail the topic. Media has all but given up on speculating on his dating life, although quite a few keep insisting that he’s secretly in a relationship with Zayn. So whenever they go out to a bar or a club to celebrate a day’s work, Louis either denies the invitation or he leaves early. Adam, a technician who has worked with him on multiple projects, explained that Louis is just pretty strict at not mixing his work with the rest of his life. No one faults him for it; he’s always genuinely nice when he is around, and everyone understands just how ugly being in the spotlight can be.
But that just makes the times when Harry is completely alone with him awkward. When they’re discussing a scene it’s easy, but other than that there isn’t anything to chat about. They do small talk, but Harry has always been the kind of person who wants to know all about the one he’s talking to. He’ll ask about friends and family and—well. Basically all the things that Louis has quarantined as off limits. There has been this one uncomfortable moment where Harry had asked about Louis’ sisters, and Louis muttered a ‘fine’ before excusing himself. To be fair, the wardrobe department had been searching for him, but Harry is certain he made the guy leave sooner than he originally had meant to go.
“It’s so cold,” Louis suddenly breaks the silence, startling Harry. “I hate Canada.”
Okay, yeah, Harry isn’t that fond of his country either. But it’s different when he complains about it versus when an American does it. He huffs in indignation, folding his arms over his chest. “It’s cold in the States too.”
Louis just shrugs. “I live in California. If we ever get snow we’d be hiding out in bomb shelters.”
That catches Harry’s attention. He doesn’t understand how Louis can live in the state that probably has the most paparazzi situated at any given time while still managing to remain undisturbed. Maybe he lives in a less famous area? Harry almost asks, but he realizes that probably falls under the category of things Louis does not discuss with other people.
“Isn’t that annoying?” Harry questions instead. “Always flying back and forth like that.”
“I like plane rides,” he sets his phone down, giving Harry his full attention. “They relax me. Everyone’s always paranoid that the plane is going to crash any second, but you’re more likely to get into a car accident, right? Anyway, you kind of get used to all the moving around.”
“I’m not sure if I would.”
“That’s what I thought at first,” the older man counters. “But trust me, you do. You might not like it, but it does sort of turn into a routine. And I don’t actually fly as much as it seems like since this is the only project I’m doing at the moment. You should see Zayn’s schedule, it’s fucking insane.”
Harry nods. “He must be a member of the mile high club with all those air miles.”
He’s greeted with silence. Louis’ eyes are wide, his mouth open in a small ‘oh.’ And then, without warning, he erupts into a gigantic fit of laughter. Harry can only stare in confusion as his companion actually slides down to the floor, his arms wrapped around his stomach, as he giggles breathlessly. Eventually the sound tapers off, but Louis remains on the ground. When he looks up at Harry, the sides of his eyes crinkle with how big he is smiling.
“Harry,” he finally says. “Do you know what the mile high club is?”
Harry bites his lip. “I thought that’s what it called when you fly on airplanes a lot, but I’m now under the impression that I was wrong?”
Louis snickers again. “It’s people who have sex in airplanes.”
“Oh my God,” Harry mutters, covering his face with his hands. “Oh my God, I’ve been saying that for twenty-three years.”
“Well, probably less than that as I doubt you could even pronounce the word ‘airplane’ when you were one.”
“I do not appreciate the sass right now,” Harry pouts. “My entire life just changed drastically. Please respect my loss and let me mourn.”
Louis just laughs, loud and echoing. “I wish I knew who you said that to. What if you were chatting to your granny and like, casually mentioned you were going to become a mile high club member? Shit, Harry, she’s going to take you off her will.”
“I did not,” Harry argues while mentally trying to recollect every single conversation he has ever had with his grandmother. “Why didn’t anyone correct me?”
“Maybe they thought you were trying to be funny?” Louis says, picking up his phone and tapping out a message. “I’m telling Zayn to tweet this.”
Harry protests, and Louis just sticks his tongue out and types faster. Harry almost asks why he doesn’t tweet it himself, but then he remembers that Louis doesn’t have any social media accounts. He most definitely did not check to confirm this fact.
The door suddenly opens and both of them jump slightly. More members of the crew come in and when they question what Louis is doing on the floor, he wastes no time in retelling what just happened. They all laugh and tease Harry over it, who blushes and preens under the attention. He sort of wishes that it was still just the two of them though. It had been nice.
The actual filming goes smoothly, although there is a last minute change to the script. While Harry doesn’t think too much about it, Louis clicks his tongue in what sounds like disapproval. He doesn’t say anything about it. Even so, Harry notices how Louis’ mood changes a bit afterwards. He’s still pleasant and jokes around between takes, but whenever no one is paying any attention to him (when he thinks no one is paying attention to him) an annoyed expression forms on his face.
When they finally get the okay to leave, Louis excuses himself and rushes out of the room. Harry watches him go, wondering what about the scene apparently pissed him off. The only real change was a few additional lines of dialogue and a hug. Maybe it has nothing to do with the alteration? Louis had been kind of standoffish when Harry originally showed up to the location.
He starts to pack up all of his stuff to go home when Eleanor Calder taps on his shoulder. He didn’t even know she would be coming in today, but she’s been through hair and makeup already. They hug briefly and then she points towards Simon’s, the head writer and co-creator of the show, office. “He wants to talk to you before you go.”
Before Harry can ask why, someone calls the girl’s name and she hurries off. He stares after her, his mind racing through all the possibilities. Harry’s first thought is that he’s getting fired. His character is probably getting killed off to cause some angst for Elliott, or something, and he wonders how he can break the news to Liam. The poor guy. He will be so disappointed when he finds out that Harry didn’t manage to stay on the show for the entire length of the series, or at least half of it.
When he gets to the office, there isn’t anyone else inside. After a moment of debate, Harry lets himself in; the door had been left wide open, which usually meant that it was okay to enter. While waiting for Simon, he plans out how the process of telling Liam that he just lost his job will go and how he can gently break the news when, surprisingly, Louis walks in. Harry is fairly certain that the show’s writers aren’t going to drop the bomb on him with Louis there, so maybe it’s something else? He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Somehow, he had been calmer when he thought he was out of a job because of mundane reasons. Louis being here adds a lot of possibilities that does include the chance that he is being fired because Louis secretly hates him.
The other man doesn’t sneer at him though, and instead gives Harry his usual wide smile. It does help take some of the edge off, but Harry doesn’t fail to notice that Louis tenses up as soon as he looks away. He’s nervous. For all the months that Harry has known him, he has never seen Louis act as fidgety as he has been today. Oh god, what if they got canceled? He has never been around for when that happens to a show, so is this the usual procedure? Do they call in every actor and break it to them gently? That would probably be too time consuming, and Harry’s role isn’t even important enough for that, he thinks.
He mentally goes over all of his steps throughout the day for some sort of clue as to what this could be about, but absolutely nothing sticks out to him. It was just a normal day. He briefly considers that they might be getting raises and he almost fails to stifle his chuckle at the idea. Louis shoots him a questioning look at the sound, causing Harry to slouch down in his chair. Right, this probably isn’t a laughing moment. He has to act professional.
When Ben and Simon, the head writers, walk into the room, Harry wishes he could sink all the way through the ground. He has been around them countless of times before, and while they have always intimidated him, it’s never been like this. Harry really wants Liam here with him. He has never been good at the business side of show business, and he kind of feels like this is one of those times where he’d need someone who knows what they’re doing around.
A few more important looking people show up, and Harry knows he should have an idea of what their names are, but he’s completely blanking out on them at the moment. Once everyone is seated around the metal table, Simon smiles pleasantly at the group. His eyes are fixated on Harry and Louis though.
“I’m just going to cut to the chase as I’m sure we all know why we’re here,” he says. Harry almost retorts that no, he haven’t a clue as to why he’s here, but thinks better of it. Making a fool of himself in front of people who can potentially be firing him is not a good idea.
“This show has been a success,” he continues. “I expected this, of course, but what I didn’t expect was you two.”
He gestures at both Harry and Louis at the last statement, which only serves to further confuse Harry. He doesn’t understand why Louis is so surprising; his being on the show is one of the big selling points for their team. But what’s even more confusing is… well, him. While Harry doesn’t think that he’s a phenomenal actor that will be winning awards any time soon, he is fairly decent. He is definitely not good enough to be praised in the same breath as Louis though. The thought makes him oddly nervous, honestly.
Simon either does not notice his discomfort or does not care because he keeps on talking. “As you all know, we are planning on pushing a relationship between Elliott and Sandra. We even have the first draft of the episode where they’re supposed to kiss all written out. But then we started looking at articles and the trending tags, and…”
The whole group chuckles at that, as if what he just said was some sort of amusing joke that they share between them. Harry doesn’t laugh because he, again, has no idea what Simon is even talking about. Louis also doesn’t laugh. In fact, he appears to be rather annoyed. The more Simon talks, the larger the scowl on the other actor’s face becomes. It isn’t doing anything to soothe Harry’s nerves.
“People don’t want Elliott and Sandra,” Louis says sharply. “They want Elliott and Andy.”
Harry blinks. “Wait, but I’m Andy.”
The room erupts into another fit of laughter, but Harry is too busy trying to make sense of the conversation to pay much attention to it. The whole Elliott and Sandra setup has been in the works since the characters moved in together during the first episode. Harry actually thought they made a cute couple, plus the actress, Eleanor, is really sweet. But… people like him and Louis more? Is that what it means?
“Are we going to get together?” Harry asks the group.
Louis snorts. “Yeah, are we?”
Okay, Louis’ attitude so far has really been puzzling Harry. Is he against the idea of Elliott and Andy dating? Harry never pinned the guy as a homophobe, but he also doesn’t really know him very well. And, like, Harry has never vocalized what his sexuality is. He’s not in the closet, exactly, but he hasn’t been announcing that he likes dick to the world.
“We probably shouldn’t rush into anything,” Ben says. “If everyone changed their entire storyline based on what’s currently popular then God knows how many iconic movies and series would be different. We were thinking of, you know, easing into it. Maybe tease the pairing a little to see what kind of reaction we’ll get. We decided to rewrite a few things and push back Elliott and Sandra’s kiss a couple of episodes.
“So,” Louis leans forward, resting his elbows on the tabletop. “What you’re saying is that we’re going to continue having my character chase after the girl while simultaneously having some cutesy gay moments so that both parts of the fanbase will be appeased?”
There’s bitterness in his voice, and when he phrases it like that Harry can see why Louis doesn’t seem too thrilled about all of this. From what he can understand, it sounds like they have no plans of stopping the whole Sandra route. So, what? Are they going to write in more scenes for Harry to give everyone what they want without actually committing to an actual relationship? It does seem kind of… weird, honestly. He can understand not wanting to sacrifice months of planning though.
Louis, however, is not as understanding. “We’ve had this conversation before and my answer is not going to change just because you added Harry into the mix. Either have Elliott and Andy date or don’t. I don’t want to be one of those shows that hint the fuck out of a gay couple only to not have them hook up.”
“We’ll see how it goes,” Simon replies, his tone final. Louis glares back, and Harry just gapes at the exchange. He would never have the balls to fight against Simon and Ben like this. Then again, the difference between his fame and Louis’ is so great that the latter can actually afford to argue like this. It's not like he has to worry about paying the electric bill.
They’re both dismissed so that the higher-ups can discuss things that don’t pertain to them. Harry meekly follows Louis out of the room, his hand already reaching into his pocket so he can tell Liam what’s going on. Before he can even pull his phone out of his jeans, though, Louis suddenly stops moving as soon as they’re a good distance away from the office. He groans loudly and slumps against a wall.
“I can’t believe this,” he grumbles, staring at the opposite wall. “They’re going to end up doing it.”
Harry isn’t entirely sure if he’s talking to him or to himself. He keeps his phone in his pocket, though, and stands next to his co-worker. “Um, is it really that bad?”
Louis rolls his eyes. “Look, it probably doesn’t mean that much to you. But there’s a distinct lack of healthy non-straight couples in the media, you know? I remember when I first saw a gay character on television and it was just so… amazing? That there was someone like me on a popular TV show! I want everyone to have someone who represents them. There is nothing more fulfilling than being represented where everyone can see it. To know that you exist in the mainstream…"
He shakes his head and stands up straighter after his little rant, his cheeks slightly pink as if he hadn’t meant to go off like that. A wave of admiration surges through Harry. He has obviously noticed that most televised couples are straight, of course, but he never really had strong feelings on the issue. As long as the pair is likable, that’s all that really mattered to him. Yet what Louis said makes sense though.
“I didn’t know you were gay,” Harry comments, unsure of what to say after all of that.
“Oh. I don’t usually talk about that in front of people I work with,” Louis says. He sounds like he regrets saying it out loud, and Harry can’t have that. He doesn't want Louis to wish he hadn't shared a piece of himself with him.
“Me too,” he says before Louis can feel any more awkward about the situation. “I mean, I’m gay too. Same.”
“What are the chances of that?” Louis murmurs, looking Harry over as if it’s the first time he has ever seen him. And suddenly he’s smiling, that broad grin that Harry has gotten so used to since they started working together. “Well, Harold, buckle up. I’m pretty sure you’re about to get a hell of a lot more screen time.”
With that, Louis turns around and walks towards the stairs. Harry watches him go, and as soon as he’s out of sight he fishes out his iPhone. Liam is going to have a field day with this.
Louis is right about two things. The first is that they do, in fact, go with the ship teasing route. The second is that Harry’s presence on the show practically triples. He goes from making short appearances every few episodes to being in every single one of them. Sometimes they can only squeeze him in for just a scene that lasts only a few minutes on screen, but he often appears throughout the entire hour.
Liam is thrilled. It kind of reminds Harry of when he got the lead role in a school play back in elementary school and how his mother acted as if he won the presidency. He keeps going on about how this will be Harry’s big break, the chance that they have been waiting to appear for years. Harry can’t get too excited about it though, no matter how much he tries. Whenever he begins to get hopeful about the future of his career, Louis’ words flash through his head. Is all of this public recognition worth it if it means using sexuality—his sexuality—as a stepping stone?
His co-star doesn’t bring up their conversation again. He’s still vehemently against the whole thing, but he does all of his arguing outside of Harry’s presence. Harry wonders if Louis doesn’t want him to get sucked into his battle, but to be honest, he sort of wants to be. While Harry considers himself a passionate person, he hasn’t actually fought for anything with, well, passion. He’s more of a go with the flow kind of guy, and he can count the number of intense arguments he’s had with one hand. But every time he walks in on Louis and Ben talking quietly in a corner, clearly in disagreement over something, the urge to also fight back grows inside Harry. He doesn’t join in though. He can’t afford to lose this role, not when he’s finally getting more screen time.
“Maybe you should tell them to give Elliott and Andy a chance?” Liam suggests one evening. They two of them are huddled in Liam’s apartment, sharing an order of Chinese takeout. “If they see that both actors are on board for it, it might sway their opinion.”
“If they won’t listen to Louis Tomlinson then why would they listen to me?” Harry asks.
Liam just shrugs. “You never know. I never took you for a pessimist, Harry.”
“That’s because I’m not one,” he frowns. He’s definitely acting like one, he has to admit. And really, what are the chances of them firing him just because he agrees with Louis? He knows that Simon and Ben have reputations for being hard to deal with, but even they can’t be that awful. There are probably laws or something against that too, he'll have to look it up. “I guess I can bring it up the next time I’m in. Happy?”
“You should be happy,” Liam sets aside his container of rice. “If they actually go through with this, not only would it be a great LGBT representation, but you’ll most likely go from recurring to a series regular. We’ve been dying to find something like that for you.”
You’ve been dying to find something like that for me, Harry thinks. Maybe this is why Louis hasn’t approached him on the issue; he can tell that Harry isn’t much of a fighter. But he can be if he tries, probably. Plus… he really wouldn’t mind working with Louis more often. He is extremely attractive, and maybe some of his skills will rub off on Harry. All of his reasons sound pretty selfish in comparison to Louis’. Something swirls in his guilt, and it’s either guilt or the shrimp fried rice.
It isn’t until he overhears a conversation between Zayn and Louis that Harry decides to go for it. He has a day off and he has to go to a café near the studio to pick up some brunch. He doesn’t notice that the other two actors are in the booth next to his until he recognized their voices deep in discussion.
“And after I told Ben that I think Andy and Elliott make a cute couple he just gave me this look and left,” Zayn is saying between bites of something that Harry can’t see. “Fuckin’ rude, just up and walked away in the middle of a conversation. Why do we deal with them?”
“You know we owe them,” Louis sighs. “Thanks for trying, bro.”
“Yeah,” Zayn replies. He’s quiet for a few seconds before he continues on in a voice so soft Harry almost falls out of his seat in order to listen. “El tried, but I don’t think her heart’s really into it. Not that I can blame her.”
There isn’t a response right away, but Harry assumes that Louis is probably nodding. “She’s just a little insulted. She’ll get over it, she always does.”
After that the topic of conversation changes and Harry hastily rearranges himself so that anyone walking by won’t think he’s some weird stalker. Neither of them notices him when they walk by his booth to leave, but Louis does pause at the doorway to glance in his direction. Before Harry can figure out if he saw him or not, he walks out the door.
So, Zayn has been trying to convince them as well to get this to happen. It shouldn’t surprise him as much as it does; despite their persistence at keeping their private lives just that, they are known to have a very close friendship. It’s basically one of the few things that Louis is completely willing to discuss during interviews that doesn’t relate to work (Harry would know since he watched almost all of them when he got casted for this part).
Still, the thought that he’s trying and Harry isn’t is… not a good one. From the sound of it, even Eleanor attempted to convince them, although she isn’t as into it as the others. It’s still more than what he has done. He wonders what Louis thinks of him. It’s kind of weird, because Harry normally doesn’t worry about other people’s opinions of him. It’s why he doesn’t even google himself, although if he had done that then this whole Ellandy (the official ship name as it turns out) business wouldn’t have had blindsided him. Yet lately he is just always so concerned over not disappointing Louis. Every time he sees Louis confront the higher-ups, even the producers, he remembers what Louis had said to him before.
He isn’t scheduled to go in for a script reading until the next week, but he goes in the following morning anyway. There isn’t really anyone there aside from a small assortment of crew members running around. Harry knows that the person he’s searching for will be in though. Harry finds Simon hunched over a table, sifting through paperwork. He doesn’t look up when Harry walks into the room, but he sets the paper he had been holding down onto the table. The expression on his face is an expectant one, like he has been waiting for this visit. Of course he would be. If everyone else has been weighing in with their opinion, it would make sense for Harry to as well.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Harry asks. His voice comes out a little squeaky, and he clears it before continuing. “About, um, my character?”
“Your character’s love life, you mean,” Simon raises an eyebrow. “Have a seat. It took you long enough to get here, I was starting to think you didn’t care too much about your role.”
His cheeks flush at the insinuation, but he sits down nonetheless. “Right. I think we should give it a shot.”
“Styles,” Simon leans forward, his elbows propped up on the table top. “I think you know all the risks involved with this. And we would quite literally have to redo so much planning to make it work. Do you want us to do a sloppy job if we have to hastily rewrite everything just to adhere to a trend?”
“I have a suggestion actually,” Harry hastily says before Simon can continue with his lecture. “I think we should continue with how we’re going. I mean, progressing Elliott’s relationships with both Sandra and Andy. And you know how you plan on having Sandra and him kiss in the season finale? I was thinking… why don’t we also have him and Andy kiss?”
Simon stares blankly, so Harry adds on, “Accidentally. They can accidentally kiss. That way, we can see how everyone reacts to both of them so you’ll have an idea of where to go for the second season. You won’t even have to completely change how things are going for the rest of this season either. As long as you keep the Sandra stuff the same and give Andy more scenes with Elliott.”
“You mean,” Simon smirks, “give you more scenes?”
This is one of the reasons why Harry has been so hesitant to voice his opinion. Coming from him, it just sounds like he wants to get a bigger role. He doesn’t want to be known as someone who’d do shady things for fame. But if he stays quiet about it, then he’s practically a coward. Why should he let Zayn fight for Louis? Yeah, sure, the two of them are actually friends while Harry’s relationship with Louis is strictly a working one, but…
“I agree with Louis,” he says. “I don’t think like, having two guys together is the pinnacle of LGBT relationships or anything. But it’s still something. And if the fans seem to like it… what’s stopping you? Wouldn’t you rather be known as that show that did something risky for the greater good instead of the one that played it safe by following the same old formula that everyone else does?”
Simon doesn’t reply right away. He just stares at Harry, a tiny frown tugging at his lips, and Harry automatically assumes he said the wrong thing. But then Simon chuckles and shakes his head, throwing his hands up in an exaggerated surrendering gesture. “Fine. We’ll give your idea a try. We’re still in the planning stages for season two so I can afford to move things around if we need to, but that will depend solely on the reactions to the finale. If it appears like most people are leaning more towards Sandra after it airs, we’re going to stick to the original storyline. Otherwise, we’ll give you two a shot. Deal?”
Harry can barely keep the grin off his face. “Deal!”
He exits the office feeling much lighter and if there’s an extra bounce or two in his step, then no one has to know the reason why. Well, Louis does. He should tell Louis. They exchanged numbers during their first few weeks together, but Harry has never actually called it unless Louis had been expecting him to. It shouldn’t be this awkward, dialing his coworker, but he still hasn’t been able to shake the image of Louis being an actual star from his mind.
He opts out of calling and sends him a text instead. He’s not even halfway down the block when his phone is ringing, and Harry doesn’t even need to look at the name to know who it is. When he answers the phone, he barely gets his greeting out before Louis interrupts him.
“What do you mean they’re doing Ellandy?” Louis demands. “What happened?”
“Nothing is set in stone yet,” Harry explains. “It’s more like, they’re going to give it a test run? And if the reaction is positive enough they’ll officially make them a couple.”
Louis is silent on the line. “Is that exactly what Simon said? Were those the words that came out of his mouth?”
“More or less?” he replies. Louis does not sound as excited as Harry expected him to. “It’s not an exact quote. But the plan is to have Elliott end up kissing both Sandra and Andy, and whoever gets the better response is who they’re going for.”
“That doesn’t guarantee anything,” Louis says. “They could lie and say that Sandra was more popular. They could make the guys date, break up, and then go back to Sandra. They can—“
“Louis,” Harry interrupts. “Are you always this cynical?”
The line goes quiet again, and after a few moments Harry thinks that Louis hung up on him. He glances at the screen of his phone and, nope, the call is still ongoing. He is about to speak again when he hears Louis sigh on the other end.
“Look,” he begins, his voice suddenly sounding a lot more tired than it did at the beginning of the call. “I know Simon and Ben; I’ve worked with them before. I owe them a lot, which is the only reason I agreed to do this gig for them. They are a nightmare to deal with though. Like, on the surface they both seem perfectly alright. They’re great at their jobs, they’ll answer any questions you have about the script, blah blah blah. But the moment you challenge them then that’s it. You’re on their shit list.”
“Wouldn’t that mean you’re on their shit list?” Harry asks.
“Honestly, I’ve been on it for three years. It’s a miracle they were able to swallow their pride long enough to even offer me this part.”
Harry laughs at that and soon Louis joins him. They both quiet down after a few seconds, and once Harry is calm enough he speaks again. “So what you’re saying is… Simon might back out of the deal?”
“Pretty much. If there is no contract binding him then there’s no reason for him to play along if it won’t benefit him. My guess is that if they do decide to put our characters together, they’ll make them have a dramatic breakup. And after that Elliott will run to Sandra’s, or some other girl’s, comforting embrace.”
His tone is bitter now, like he can’t picture anything else happening. Harry isn’t sure why their views are so different on the matter. While he knows that Louis is probably right, he can’t help but believe that everything will turn out alright for them. Yeah, Louis has a lot more experience in both the business and with the two men, but… Harry just has a good feeling about this. They will make this work.
“Then we just have to make sure that we have more chemistry than you and Eleanor,” Harry says. “If we’re clearly the better couple, then the choice will be obvious. Even they’re not stupid enough to throw out something that clearly works, right?”
“I’m not going to like, act badly when I’m with Eleanor, if that’s what you’re suggesting. I’m a professional, Harry.”
“That’s not what I’m saying!” Harry cuts in. “I don’t mean for you to be awful in your scenes with her. Just… be better in your scenes with me?”
“On screen chemistry doesn’t really work that way though,” Louis says. “We either have it, as actors working together, or we don’t. Even the most talented pair can deliver a lukewarm performance if they don’t have any chemistry together.”
“We probably already have it though. Why else would we be this popular?”
The older man makes a humming noise. “Have you actually looked up what they say about us?”
“Not really?”
There’s a shuffling noise on the other end. Harry waits patiently until he can properly hear Louis again. When Louis speaks, he’s clearly reading from something. “’But what might be the greatest surprise that this show has to offer is not the relationship between Elliott and his new friends, but the one with his old. Andy Lukens (played by newcomer Harry Styles) is obviously meant as nothing more than a contrast between Elliott’s wacky and eventful life in room 626 and the one he left behind. And while that does come across in certain aspects, what we mostly instead see is a remarkable friendship between the two men. Most likely unintentional given the context of their roles, the chemistry between Tomlinson and Styles is so abundant that I would not be surprised if their characters end up tying the knot by the series end. However, given who’s in charge, I doubt that will be the case.’”
Louis clears his throat once he finishes reading. “A lot of the reviews are like that, more or less. So, we have the chemistry already. We give off potential couple vibes to viewers. The bosses still aren’t buying it. Why actually commit when just pretending that you will suffice, you know?”
The last part really stuck with Harry. He thinks the line over before addressing it out loud. “What did they mean about ‘given who’s in charge’?”
“They have a reputation for being controlling. But they’re pretty successful, so most people just let it slide. I think that this writer has a grudge against Ben though so his reviews can be harsh.”
Harry nods his head in understanding until he realizes that Louis cannot see him doing it. Now that they have discussed all the main points of the topic, he isn’t sure if they should hang up or continue the conversation. He sort of wants to keep talking and just obtain Louis’ opinion on things; if personal details are off limits, then Harry can just ask about stuff that pertains to his job. He isn’t sure why he’s so curious about the guy. It might just be wanting to know more about the person he admires, like any fan would. Is it professional to consider yourself a fan of someone you work with?
He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t even notice that Louis is speaking until he’s halfway through with his sentence.
“—talk to you later then, yeah?” Louis is saying, and Harry curses himself for not speaking up sooner. Louis probably has other things to do than chat aimlessly with him.
“Yeah. Yeah, bye,” Harry replies. Lame. He’s so lame. The call ends and while he’s putting his phone away he finally notices that he has been standing in the same spot ever since he answered the phone. When he looks around he can see a few people walking away from him shooting him a dirty look. He was probably blocking the sidewalk.
Well, at least Liam will be happy when he hears the news.
“I’m so happy,” Liam laughs when he hears the news. They’re at a small bar, one of their usual haunts to relax at whenever the stress of their work week becomes too much. In this case, Liam has been having some trouble with another client of his and has been begging to just go out and get drunk for days.
“I kind of agree with Louis though,” he continues. “I’m not saying that they’re evil and are going to double cross you, but… that’s how TV couples work, isn’t it? Writers are always breaking them up to cause the most drama. It’d be weird if it didn’t happen.”
“I think Louis wants it to be endgame,” Harry says. “Like, it’s one thing if they break up and then hook up with other people. But if they break up but still get together in the end…”
He knows that, in the end, it’s up to the writers. And that even if his character and Louis’ aren’t true love or whatever, this will still give him a lot of good exposure to boost his career. But he doesn’t want to see Louis not get what he wants. He seriously should not be more concerned about Louis than his own livelihood. Yet, he is. That is basically what is going on here. Most people in his position would be working to get a larger role just to benefit themselves. Harry, though? He did this for Louis. He doesn’t want to disappoint Louis. It seriously makes him feel like some creepy stalker fan, sort of, but does actually knowing him make it less weird? This is just a friend helping out a friend. Probably. He isn’t sure if they actually are friends.
“It’ll work out,” Harry says. “My gut tells me so.”
“Didn’t your gut also tell you that the Jonas Brothers weren’t going to break up?” Liam grins back at him.
“Don’t do this to me,” he groans, slumping in his seat. “I’m still not over that one.”
“None of us are,” Liam replies, sounding a lot more distracted than he did a second ago. He’s looking at something that is behind Harry, his eyes wide in surprise. Before Harry can ask what’s up, Liam leans forward and starts whispering excitedly. “Zayn Malik just walked in.”
Harry, being the subtle and cool man that he is, immediately turns around and wildly looks in all directions. He spots Zayn near the bar's entrance, shrugging off a very expensive looking coat. Harry turns back to Liam. “Oh my God, it’s Zayn!"
“You do know that you work with him, right?”
Harry shushes him and looks over at the door again. Zayn is now posing with a few people and taking fan pictures. Harry occasionally gets stopped by fans, although admittedly most of them only know him by his character’s name and not his own. Zayn though. He is a completely different story—it takes him a good five minutes just to get to a booth. He’s alone so far, but Harry is fairly certain that he’ll be joined by other people.
“Should I go say hi?” Harry asks, not actually turning around to face Liam while talking. “I can do that, right? Say hi to him?”
“It’s not illegal to talk to your co-worker,” Liam deadpans.
Harry quickly shoots him an unimpressed look. He has never actually hung out with Zayn outside of work. The few times that Zayn had been able to chill with them after work were on days that Harry couldn’t make it. Plus, Zayn is just as private about his personal life as Louis is. Apparently the only reason he has a Twitter is because he lost a bet and has to stay active on it for at least a year. So maybe he won’t be thrilled to see someone he works with waltzing over to him during his off hours.
Despite all of these reservations, he still lets Liam shove him out of their booth and towards Zayn’s. He gave in after Liam pointed out that if people recognize him as well, they might find it weird if he and Zayn don’t at least acknowledge each other’s presence. And it’s not like they have to hang out together. He just has to say hi then hurry back to his own table. Easy. Piece of cake. Simp—oh, no, there are other people there now. Abort, abort.
Before he can turn around and pretend this never happened, though, one of the people sitting next to Zayn spots him. It seems to take a few seconds for the recognition to hit—which is lovely for Harry’s self-esteem, by the way, thanks—but a wide grin appears on his face nonetheless. The blonde shoves Zayn, a feat that is practically sacrilegious to Harry, until the actor looks in his direction. And Zayn smiles.
That one expression should not surprise Harry as much as it does. Smiling is a thing that people do. Plus it isn’t like he has never seen Zayn do it before or anything. But the fact that it is being directed towards him is—okay, so maybe Louis isn’t the only one that has him starstruck.
“Harry,” Zayn greets him. “What’s up?”
Harry smiles brightly at him. “Just hanging out with my best friend. I didn’t know you came to this bar.”
“Oh, I don’t,” he replies, rolling his eyes at the blonde who had gotten his attention earlier. Before he can elaborate though, more people walk over to the table. They all shout out greetings to Zayn and the others that are already seated, and Harry is momentarily forgotten in the sea of new faces. Not wanting to get in the way, he excuses himself and returns to Liam.
“Was that so bad?” his manager asks as soon as Harry sits down.
“No, he’s really nice,” Harry admits. He peeks over at their table again, and he can’t help but wonder who all those people are. None of them are faces he recognizes, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t part of the industry. The number of people who work behind the scenes far outweigh the famous ones. He pretends not to notice that Louis is not there.
After a while he forgets about that other table and listens to Liam rant about the client. It’s some guy named Tom, and Liam took him on as a favor to a friend. He regrets that favor. From the sounds of it, Tom seems like some self-obsessed jerk who considers himself the next Clooney. Harry has seen him in one or two things before, and while he is a good actor, Harry doubts that his level of skill warrants that kind of attitude. Then again, no level of skill does. No one should ever be an asshole.
He is so engrossed with the conversation that he actually starts when a finger taps at his shoulder. He is even further startled when he sees that the finger belongs to Zayn. He’s all bundled up again, and Harry now notices that the table he had been at is now empty.
“We’re heading out,” Zayn says while zipping up his jacket. “It was nice seeing you, man. And thanks.”
“Thanks for what?”
He chuckles. “For convincing them about you and Louis. He has been driving me up a wall over it for the last two months. It’s nice to finally not be woken up in the middle of the night because he had a dream that Winston is secretly trying to murder him."
“Oh,” Harry says. He glances over at Liam in an attempt to affirm if this is really happening. That was the most personal Zayn had ever gotten with him, even if they are still technically talking about work. “You don’t have to thank me. I want to help.”
He doesn’t mention how pleased he is that Zayn said you and Louis instead of their characters’ name. But also—two months? Is that how long all of this has been going on for? Harry decides then and there to pay more attention to the type of reviews the show is receiving. He always knew they were primarily positive, but if he had dug a little deeper than this whole mess wouldn’t have caught him by surprise. Maybe this would have been solved ages ago otherwise.
“We still appreciate it though,” Zayn shrugs. “If you hadn’t stepped in when you did then we probably would have never been given this chance. And I know that Louis was probably skeptical as fuck when he talk to you about it, but don’t be fooled. He really is happy about what you did. He’s probably going to ask for your autograph the next time he sees you.”
Harry barks out laughter at that and quickly covers his mouth. It only makes Zayn laugh as well, and soon they’re both laughing into their fingers. It takes Harry a moment to remember that Liam is, you know, still there and he quickly introduces the two of them. They all chat for a couple more minutes until Zayn’s friends are calling for his attention and he leaves to do whatever it is that famous people get up to.
“He’s really nice,” Liam comments once Zayn exits the building. “And a lot more attractive in person.”
“I don’t know why you were so nervous about talking to him,” Harry replies smoothly, and is immediately met by a French fry being flicked at his face.
That night, when Harry is tucked underneath his comforter, he quickly checks his Twitter before going to sleep. Zayn followed him. He tries very hard not to freak out over it.
When the filming for the season finale begins, Harry is a nervous wreck. He has gone over the script at least a hundred times, but he’s still convinced that he is going to somehow fuck this all up. Maybe he’ll turn out to be a horrible kisser and all of his exes have been lying to him for the last few years? He’ll be so bad that Louis will change his mind and decide he would rather make out with Eleanor instead after all. Or maybe everyone will realize that they were wrong and that there isn’t any chemistry between the two of them after all.
They film the Sandra and Elliott scene first, a few days before Harry’s. He had to go in that day as well so he watches them act it out: Elliott has been trying to ask Sandra out for a while and all of his plans has been failing in hilarious ways. The kiss doesn’t happen until Elliott has given up on the whole ordeal, and he sits down in defeat at the building’s Christmas party. Sandra sits down right next to him and points upwards to reveal that they are seated underneath some mistletoe. They kiss, and the whole thing is so tooth achingly cute that Harry actually claps. Louis shoots him a look at that which makes Harry hastily drop his hands to his side.
Louis wasn’t lying when he told Harry that he wasn’t going to sabotage his scenes with Eleanor. His entire part with her was so well acted that Harry even started to doubt that Louis disliked the pairing at all. How was he supposed to compete against that anyway? Perhaps this has all just been some sort of practical joke. Louis is well known to be a troublemaker, and there has been more than one instance where you would be walking down a hallway only to suddenly hear someone screaming Louis' name in incredulous rage. Harry has managed to avoid all of his pranks somehow, although he wonders if it's because Louis just never sought him out as a target. That kind of makes him sad.
By the time the day rolls around for his kiss, Harry is practically hyperventilating into a paper bag. He is so completely positive that he is going to screw the whole thing up that he already started writing an apology letter to Louis about it. He’s halfway through it when Louis shows up at the door. Harry is sitting inside an empty room near the front lobby. He thinks that they’re probably going to turn this into some sort of computer lab type of area once the construction is finished, but now it’s only furnished by a large couch and a water cooler. He often hides away inside this room when he wants some time to himself; most of the staff believes the place to be cursed because for some reason at least four people have broken a bone while in here. Harry figures it’s just superstition, since he is the clumsiest person that he knows and he has yet to hurt himself while here. Funnily enough, Louis is a little hesitant to walk inside.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he says. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” Harry lies. He then hastily rectifies, “No, actually. I’m kind of scared.”
He instantly regrets admitting that. What kind of actor gets nervous for a simple kissing scene? Even more, saying that to someone who has won awards is embarrassing. It’s also sort of weird too. Harry has never really cared too much about this; while he obviously has always done his best at this job, his lack of general enthusiasm about the career always kept him calm during situations that would rattle others. Now though? He is the opposite of calm. The anti-calm. He might throw up, and he really hopes that Louis won’t be around for that.
Instead of leaving, though, Louis sits down right next to Harry. Even more surprising, he places his hand comfortably on the younger actor’s knee. “Styles, you’ll be fine. It’s just like any other scene that you’ve done.”
“But it’s not,” Harry practically whines. If he’s going to ruin Louis’ image of him, he might as well go all the way. “If I’m shitty then everything you’ve been working for will be over. I don’t want to let you down, Lou.”
He has no idea where the nickname came from, but Louis doesn’t appear to be too bothered by it. In fact, he actually smiles a little at it. “You won’t be. You’re going to be great. So great, in fact, that I am going to pale in comparison and everyone will wonder why I’m the main character instead of you.”
Harry raises an eyebrow. “You know, when you try to cheer someone up it’ll help to be a little more realistic so I know you’re not talking out of your ass.”
He gasps, a hand dramatically covering his heart. “You wound me. Here I am, bearing my very soul to you, and you’re being a smart ass. You hang out with Zayn once and this is what happens.”
That makes Harry pause. He hasn’t hung out with Zayn, unless you count that one time they ran into each other in the bar. He never mentioned that to Louis though, which means that Zayn did. Which… really should not surprise Harry as much as it does, to be honest. If Zayn and Louis are best friends then of course they are going to talk about things like that. If Liam hadn’t been with Harry at the time, Harry would have called him about the encounter.
“I just don’t want to mess this up for you,” Harry says again, more quietly this time.
Louis squeezes his knee. “I promise you won’t. If this doesn’t happen, it’s not your fault. I mean it.”
They walk to the set together, Louis babbling about some stage play that he wants to audition for but he isn’t sure if his schedule will allow it. Harry wonders that it must be like to be so booked that you can’t find time to do the projects you actually want. He secretly hopes that it will never get to that point for him.
The scene takes place in Elliott’s apartment again, chronologically just a few hours after his kiss with Sandra when the party is over. The crew is already there; they seem to be arguing about something sports related, but Harry only pays attention to the few teams he cares about so the conversation flies over his head. Louis joins in immediately though. Harry marks that down as another new fact about Louis—he likes sports. He thinks Louis might have mentioned it in an interview once, but he isn’t sure. He isn’t creepy enough to remember them all in perfect detail, at least.
Everyone continues talking while setting things up until Ben arrives. He and Simon aren’t always there for filming, especially Simon, but Ben has been around for almost every scene for the finale. He says it’s because he wants to make sure it goes absolutely perfect, but Harry sort of thinks it’s an intimidation tactic. He is telling the two of them that he is watching their performance carefully. Fifteen minutes ago, this would have made Harry nauseous just to think about it. But every time he glances over at Louis, a wave of peace washes over him. He remembers his promise of how even if this doesn’t work out the way they want it to, that he isn’t to blame. And while Harry doesn’t entirely believe that to be true, he does believe that Louis honestly meant it.
They begin filming.
Harry walks into the apartment building, shrugging out of various winter garments. He drops them all on the ground, not paying any mind to the melting snow that is soaking the ground. He instantly bursts into conversation instantly of offering a real greeting. “It’s crazy out there. Who invented snow, anyway? There’s no point. It gets everywhere and if you try eating it then you’re probably going to catch a disease. Do you know what learning that does to a six year old? Not good things.”
At this point he finally directs his attention to Louis and is surprised to find him slumped on the couch. He stares at a spot on the wall that was formed in one of the earlier episodes (completely by accident, but the actors’ reaction to the spaghetti hitting the wall was so funny that they kept the footage) without blinking.
“Elliott?” Harry asks, taking a tentative step forward. “Please don’t tell me you ate snow.”
Louis shoots him an unimpressed look. “Aren’t you going to ask me about the party?”
“Uh. How was the party?”
“Horrible. I kissed a cactus,” Louis moans, sitting up now to properly face his friend.
Harry smirks. “Sandra’s that bad of a kisser?”
He is answered by a pillow thrown in his face. Louis pouts, and the sight is just so adorable that Harry almost breaks character. Instead, he throws out his next line. “I’m joking, dude. What happened?”
Louis immediately begins a rather dramatic retelling of the party’s events that ends with his voice an octave higher than how it started. The story does, include, actual cactus kissing from when Louis’ character stumbled and face planted into one. By the time he’s finished speaking, Harry is doubled over in laughter. He’s not even faking it; the way Louis played it out was really funny, and Harry has to force himself to calm down before he ruins the take.
“But we kissed,” Louis says softly once the laughter dies down. “She kissed me under the mistletoe.”
Harry knows that this is an act. Seeing Louis with such a pleased expression on his face about someone kissing him, even if it’s a pretend situation, causes Harry’s stomach to drop. Still, he plasters on a smile and takes a step towards the other man. “That’s awesome! How’d it go?”
Louis jumps up from where he’s sitting, excitedly bouncing on his toes and closing the distance between them. He’s nervous now, continuously glancing from his hands then to Harry, gauging his reaction. “It was great. I think she—you know. There might be a shot.”
“Du—“Harry begin to say, but is cut off when he suddenly slips on the pile of clothing he had dumped on the ground earlier. It is actually in the script for it to happen, but Harry just accidentally cut at least four more lines of dialogue by legitimately falling. Louis immediately rushes forward to catch him. His arms wrap around Harry’s waist in an effort to steady him, and all Harry’s mind explodes in the different sensations of his body touching Louis’.
“Sorry,” Harry giggles, breaking character. He glances down at Louis’ face that is so close to his right now. “I messed up.”
“Yeah, you did,” Louis replies, smiling gently at him. Surprisingly, instead of letting go he actually tightens his grip on Harry. “Maybe next time you won’t leave all your shit on my floor.”
Harry opens his mouth to counter that he only did that because it’s in his script, but he doesn’t even get a word out. Louis’ lips are suddenly against his, soft and careful. He’s kissing Harry differently from the one with Eleanor—that kiss had been urgent, filled with months of sexual tension finally snapping. This, though, has none of that desperateness. It’s slow and somewhat hesitant, like Louis expects him to push him off at any moment. Harry doesn’t. He doesn’t even consider it.
Suddenly, though, Louis is leaping away. The expression on his face is a mix of horror and confusion, as if he cannot even begin to comprehend what he had just done. Harry reaches out for him instinctively, but Louis runs out of the room and slams the door behind him. A silence follows that is interrupted by a voice yelling out cut.
He forgot they were being filmed.
Louis walks back into the room with a wide smile on his face. Everyone immediately begins to gush about how great they were and how they would definitely use that take. Ben interjects, saying that they it went against the script and that they will have to shoot it again as how it's originally written, much to the disapproval of everyone else in the room. All the while, Harry just stares in shock. He had stopped acting the moment he fell. Did Louis know that? Was Louis under the impression that Harry had immediately recovered, or did he keep going regardless? He isn’t certain of how he feels about it. When he looks over at Louis, he finds the other guy deep in conversation with Alberto, one of the crew members.
Okay. There’s no point in panicking about this. It’s just a silly little mistake, after all. Yet all he can recall is the harsh beating of his heart as Louis leaned in towards him, as he pressed their bodies together while kissing him. It felt real. Harry thought he was truly being kissed, him, not his character. Louis is completely at ease right now though, laughing at something that Alberto said.
Harry tries not to think about how many people Louis has kissed because of his job. He tries even harder not to think about the people Louis has kissed because he genuinely wanted to. He, quite expectantly, fails miserably on both accounts. But, and possibly worst of all, he mostly thinks about how much he wants to kiss Louis again.
Well fuck.
A week after the episode aired has Harry in a Los Angeles hotel. He’s been scheduled for his very first interview, which is already exciting, but it’s on his favorite late night talk show. When Liam had told him about it Harry accidentally knocked over his coffee in his glee. Like… he has always assumed that he might get to this position one day, he has even envisioned what kind of questions he would get asked. But the fact that Nick Grimshaw is the one who will be asking them? Now that is amazing.
He looks himself over in the mirror again. A nice lady fixed up his hair and makeup for him, but he keeps running his hands over everything because of his nerves. He has probably completely ruined what she has done.
He spoke to Nick for a little while before the filming began, and he seemed nice enough. The man was ushered away before Harry could get comfortable around him though, so the nerves of meeting someone who he frequently watches on television is still there. Harry wonders if that will ever go away. Do huge stars, like Brad Pitt, get butterflies in their stomachs when meeting someone else who is famous for the first time? Or are they so accustomed to it that it’s like chatting with a grocer.
He really hopes that isn’t the case; it doesn’t seem very fun, honestly. He doesn’t think he has to worry about that though. Harry still gets sweaty palms whenever he is around Louis.
“You’re up next,” a petite woman wearing a headset informs him. “Come on, they’re about to call you on.”
“Okay,” he replies quietly, then quickly adds, “Thank you.”
The woman—Shelly, her name is—stammers for a few seconds, as if she has no idea what he could be thanking her for. She finally settles on a smile though, and points out the path to the stage when Nick announces Harry’s appearance. He throws up a quick thumbs up sign to her and the rest of the crew before hurrying out to the live studio audience and lights. It is exactly how it’s pictured on television, although a little smaller than he thought it would be. Nick is seated at a desk that is utterly cluttered with what would be assumed by most to be junk. Next to him is a bright pink couch that he received as a gift two seasons ago from some musician friend or something. Harry remembers that it had been meant to be a joke, but Nick keeps insisting that he loves it and won’t get rid of the thing.
The most startling part is the applause. They always clap when a guest arrives, whether it’s an A-list celebrity or someone unknown. Despite the fact that he knew that, Harry actually slows to a stop when he realizes all that noise is being made for him, regardless if they’re doing it out of politeness rather than actual excitement. It’s thrilling, actually seeing the people versus imagining them watching from home. Maybe he should have gone for theatre instead, or some other career where there’s a live crowd. He regrets, for a few seconds, not giving his old band from high school more of a chance.
He snaps out of it and crosses the distance to where Nick is waiting. They shake hands, Nick thanking him for coming while doing so, and then Harry plops down on the couch. It is a lot more comfortable than he thought it would be, and he almost wants to ask if he knows where did the guy buy it from. Before he can get the question out, though, Nick starts talking.
“Well, well,” he says with a laugh. “I have to say that I am both pleased to have nabbed the first interview from you, and awfully surprised that I am your first interview. How has a talent like yours hidden for so long?"
“Um, well this has really been my first real role in anything, so it’s not that surprising,” Harry replies. “I’m actually shocked that you wanted me here. Did you know that Cameron Diaz is backstage?”
The grin on Nick’s face morphs from professional to something more… amused, maybe. “Seriously? How did she get back there? I told security to stop letting her sneak in. She’s addicted to the little finger sandwiches we have on the snack table back there. Had to call in the police the last time we invited her because she wouldn’t stop stealing all of them.”
“They were pretty good,” Harry nods his head, as if that fictitious story would be anyone’s course of action. “But what I really want to say is, thanks for having me? I’m like, a huge fan of yours.”
“Harry, please,” Nick raises a hand up in a shushing motion. “I am a professional here and your empty compliments will not sway me in giving you a bigger gift basket.”
Harry laughs, shaking his head. “No, I’m serious! I even remember when you got this couch… oh, by the way, you wouldn’t happen to know what store he got it from? It’s pretty comfy.”
They break into the type of questioning that Harry had been expecting then. Nick asks him about filming in Canada, and when Harry says that he actually lives there the older man almost falls out of his chair. He, and the rest of the audience, urge him to move to California where it is apparently “better.” Harry rolls his eyes at them all, arguing that Toronto is a pretty great city. Like, he has considered moving. He’s pretty certain that Simon wants them to move filming to LA after the second season if things go well because it would be cheaper for production (or, as Louis had graciously put it, for Simon). And he knows that life would be so much easier for Liam if he did. Liam refuses to leave Toronto because Harry is there, refuses to leave Harry even though they will still regularly see each other, despite the fact that most of Liam’s work is in the States. But the thought of moving so far away from his family kind of scares Harry.
He’s an adult though. An adult with a career that might be going places that he hadn’t really considered until now. If he actually goes through with something like that then it would mean he is definitely sticking with the acting thing, and that level of commitment to a job that wasn’t even his idea in the first place is sort of daunting. If he stays where he is, he has always felt like he can very easily back out of it all if he suddenly decides he doesn’t want to do it anymore. That becomes slightly more tricky if he packs up his entire life and moves for his work.
So he just tells Nick that he will think about it, and that he is pretty fond of how close they are to the beach here, and they move on. He’s grateful when they actually begin to properly discuss the first season of the show and, specifically, the finale. Harry actually googled the reactions to the episode, terrified of the thought that everyone hated his kiss with Louis and that they got the entire thing canceled. On the contrary, everyone loved it. Okay, not everyone, as Sandiott (Louis said that name doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as Ellandy does) is still popular and there are homophobes in the world. But the majority of the audience apparently seems to think that Elliott should date Andy.
“So, what’s it like working with ol’ Tommo?” Nick leans back in his chair, his wide grin almost swallowing the lower half of his face. “Any stories you’d like to share? Any tantrums? Diva moments? He’s always such an ass to me, I need some revenge material.”
“Is he?” Harry frowns. He is pretty sure that Louis has never been on Nick’s show before. “He’s nice to me.”
Granted, he can see why someone might think Louis is mean. While none of his actions are hostile or out of cruelty, Louis does have a habit of pushing people’s buttons. And depending on who it is, they either laugh at the joke or they eventually snap. It’s usually the former for the most part, but Harry has once witnessed Zayn throwing Louis’ phone across a room because the other actor wouldn’t stop annoying him. Still, he wouldn’t call him an ass, per se.
“Of course he’s nice to you, you’re like a… a baby koala! I am usually much meaner and funnier, you know, but I feel bad even thinking about mocking your rosy cheeks.”
Harry’s hands instantly flies to his face, which makes the audience laugh. “Hey, I am not. But no, he has always been really helpful and good to me. I’m really glad I get to play alongside him.”
“How about that kiss, yeah?” Nick says, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Someone from the audience cat calls. “It looked like you were floored by it. He’s that good?”
Harry blushes, and he really hopes that the camera doesn’t catch that. He probably shouldn’t mention that he thought the pretend kiss was a real kiss. He hasn’t even told Liam about it, which generally means that it is going to be a secret that he will take to the grave. “Um, he’s not bad. I wouldn’t complain if we had to do that again. And I’m not saying if we will or will not, since that’s a spoiler, by the way.”
Nick dramatically snaps his fingers. “Damn. I was hoping to get an exclusive for season two. You foiled my plans, Styles.”
“I’m just too smart for you,” he fires back.
They banter like that for a couple more minutes until they hit the commercial break. Harry stands and stretches out his long limbs, and he thinks he spots Nick staring at the area where his shirt rides up. The host quickly recovers though, and he walks around his desk to clap Harry on the back.
“That was great,” he says. “Listen, I really am a fan. Ever since the show started I kept saying that I wished you had more screen time. And then when you did I was thinking… what are they trying to do here? You didn’t let me down.”
“I didn’t do much,” Harry shrugs. For a second he wonders if Nick actually knows what went on behind the scenes, but he pushes the thought out of the way. Even if someone else had told the guy, Harry wouldn’t want to be the one to confirm it as the truth. Everything is just a rumor until a real source comes along, after all. “Thank you. I never thought I would be doing something like this, so I’m grateful that you let me on your show, Nick.”
“Kid, with the way you’re going, people are going to be begging to interview you pretty soon. Be careful, though. Once you get your name out there, things might get a little rough.”
Harry furrows his eyebrows in confusion, but he is ushered backstage again since the commercial is about to end. He passes by Cameron Diaz, the next guest, and he remembers what they said about her. It was a joke, but he hopes that she hadn’t been offended or anything. She just smiles and says hello, so he figures it’s all good.
The next morning, Harry goes grocery shopping. They’re on break from filming for a while, and he decided to spend some time in LA before going back home. Every other time he has visited this city has been a short visit due to time constraints, but now he can finally relax and see what’s so great about it. He also kind of wants to see if he can ever really envision himself living here, and the only way to truly find out is by spending time exploring the place.
The verdict so far? He likes it. Possibly too much, honestly. The absurd amount of people who keep stopping to chat with him either about the show or his appearance on Nick’s show is startling, but everything else? It’s December and yet the temperature is in the lower eighties. People are walking around in shorts, and there are multiple organic delis within walking distance of his hotel. Harry might actually faint from how good this all seems. He knows that he’ll come across the negative aspects, and things that are better back home, but right now he does like it.
He is on his way back to his hotel room, his arms full of bags of produce he bought a market, when he spots a turtle. It is not just any turtle, but a turtle that is in the middle of the road. Harry gasps in horror, and sets his purchases down on a nearby bench. He hurries back to the road and, while making sure there are no cars hurtling towards him, he steps onto the pavement to pick the turtle up. It’s a lot heavier than he anticipated, and it takes a couple of seconds of intense struggling for him to comfortably lift up the reptile. He is about to step back onto the sidewalk when a loud honking makes him pause mid-step. The honking, Harry assumes, was supposed to achieve the opposite effect, but his limbs are frozen to the spot. All he can do is tighten his grip on the turtle while he imagines that night’s headlines: Newbie Actor Killed With a Turtle. Oh, God, his sister is going to be so pissed.
Instead of killing him, though, the car screeches to a halt. Harry blinks in confusion, never loosening his hold on the animal. The sound of a car door opening then slamming finally snaps him out of the daze he had been lost in, and he scrambles onto the sidewalk. He lived. He and Leonardo lived.
(He just now named the turtle that.)
“What the fu—Harry?” a very familiar voice says. A voice that belongs to Louis Tomlinson, who is now standing right in front of Harry with his mouth hanging open. A pair of large sunglasses cover his eyes, but Harry is pretty sure that they’re open wide right now. He knows his own are, at least.
“There was a turtle on the road,” Harry explains dumbly, holding the turtle up to see. “I didn’t want it to get run over, so…”
“So instead you almost got run over,” Louis finishes for him. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “Oh my God, I just almost hit you. I am so, sorry.”
“No, it’s fine,” Harry reassures him. He probably should be more shaken up that he did just almost die, or at least gotten a pretty big bruise. But seeing Louis of all people fussing over him like this just makes him feel happy. There is most definitely something wrong with him.
“Let me make it up to you,” Louis says anyway. He looks wildly around before taking Leonardo out of Harry’s hands. The turtle is obviously too heavy for him, but he still waddles over to where the sidewalk turns into grass and lets the animal go. Leonardo slowly begins walking away from the road and towards, Harry hopes, water. Louis immediately turns around and grins at him. “There, Donatello is free.”
“Leonardo.”
The smile instantly drops from Louis’ face. “Um, that was clearly a Donatello.”
Harry shakes his head. “I saw him first! His name is Leonardo.”
“What part of that turtle said Leonardo to you?” Louis walks back to where his car is, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you even a Ninja Turtle fan? I bet you only vaguely know about them through pop culture shit, but you never actually seen a single episode, have you?”
Well. He is not wrong. “Okay, fine. His name can be Donatello. Happy?”
“Yeah,” he says, and then chuckles. “Not like it really matters now, since he’s gone.”
Since Louis doesn’t seem too worried, Harry figures that the turtle will be safe for now. He is about to ask just to make sure though, but another round of honking startles him. Louis did, in fact, park in the middle of the roadway. Louis curses and hurries over to the driver’s side. Before he hops in he glances back at Harry. “Need a lift?”
Harry’s first instinct is to deny the offer out of politeness. Instead, he grabs his groceries and slides into the passenger seat of Louis’ black BMW. He isn’t exactly sure why he is so surprised that Louis has such a nice car. The guy is clearly rich, yet he wasn’t expecting something like this. Maybe something much more lowkey that wouldn’t attract much attention from the general public.
“Where am I taking you, Curly?” Louis asks as he starts the engine.
“Oh, I’m staying at the Waterfront,” Harry answers. “Do you know where that is…?”
Louis just shoots him a look and drives, which Harry takes to mean that he does know where it is. They drive in silence for a while and Harry spends the time staring out of the window at everything they pass by. He tries to imagine this place as his home, and… he can see it. He can perfectly visualize Liam on his morning jog along the beach. He can see his parents and Gemma coming to visit on vacation. He can see himself with his own, much less expensive, car just cruising around.
“Want me to roll down the window so you can stick your head out?” Louis breaks the silence. He’s staring straight ahead, but his lips are curved upwards into a smile.
“Shut up,” Harry huffs, sitting back in his seat. “I’m starting to understand what Nick meant by you being an ass.”
Louis almost swerves into the opposite lane at that. Harry clutches at his seatbelt, praying to whatever celestial bodies that are out there that he will make it through this day without dying via luxury vehicle. Louis is not as frightened. “First off, I know I’m an ass. Second, don’t ever say you understand Nick again. And third, I liked it better when you were talking about how nice I am.”
“You actually watched the interview,” Harry bites his lip. He knew there was a chance that Louis would since it is a fairly popular show, but he isn’t sure how he feels about it. He is kind of embarrassed. He basically gushed about how wonderful Louis is on national television, but that was totally okay when there was a possibility that Louis would not find out about it. However, since he has found out, now Harry wants to leap out of the car and go back to Donatello.
“That bastard told me to,” he says. “He was like, ‘This is gonna be a good one, Tomlinson. Make sure you don’t miss it.’ And I was planning on missing it just to spite him, but then I read the episode description and it said you were on it. So…”
There are a lot of questions that he wants to ask, so Harry settles for the easiest one first. “Do you and Nick not like each other or something?”
“No, it’s—we’ve known each other for a while. Like, I met Zayn through him.”
Harry blinks. “No way! Really? I thought you and Zayn met at university?”
“Yeah, we did,” he nods. “Basically both of us were sick of living in the dorms and wanted to move out, but we needed roommates. I sort of knew Nick because we had mutual friends, and he and Zayn worked together. Anyway, he introduced us and we moved into a place a week later.”
He still doesn’t understand why they keep insulting each other just from that, but everyone’s relationships with other people are different. Maybe that’s just how they show their love. What’s important is the fact that Louis is even sharing this information with him in the first place; while it’s well known that they met in school, Harry has never heard Louis be this specific about the circumstances. He wonders why Louis is being so open right now. Maybe he doesn’t consider this to be something too important. After all, Nick is also someone who’s pretty famous. Louis is bound to have famous friends. It’s not like he’s sharing his innermost feelings with Harry or anything.
“My best friend and I met in school too,” Harry says. “He’s my manager, actually. You might have seen him before; he sometimes comes to the set to yell at me for accidentally taking his keys with me and locking him out of his apartment.”
Louis snorts. “Sounds like a proper best friend then.”
“He’s great,” Harry smiles brightly. “You two would probably get—uh. Never mind.”
Why is he inviting Louis to meet his friends? That is definitely crossing a few lines. The only reason he probably even offered to give him a ride is because he almost ran him over. Still, the thought of Louis getting introduced to the important people in his life makes Harry squirm in a feeling that is rather similar to happiness.
“What? We wouldn’t get along?” Louis glances at Harry, the smile that had been on his lips now fading.
“No, it’s not that. I just didn’t think you would want me to, like, introduce you.”
Louis doesn’t respond right away, his eyes now watching the road again. Harry thinks that he has let the subject drop and prepares himself for an upcoming awkward remainder of a car ride, but Louis surprises him. He sighs so softly that if Harry hadn’t been in a confined space with him he wouldn’t have noticed, and pulls over to a stop on the side of the road. He turns in his seat so he’s facing Harry, and the look on his face is almost apologetic.
“I don’t want my job to take over my life,” he begins, “which you’re obviously aware of. There are celebrities who reveal everything about their lives to the general public, and there isn’t anything wrong with that, but I don’t want to be one of them. Even when I was waiting tables I never liked mixing my personal life with my work one, so this isn’t a new thing for me. It’s just on a much larger scale now.”
“Is it hard? You don’t even get papped that often,” Harry says and then immediately regrets it. He just made it sound like he goes out of his way looking for paparazzi shots of Louis.
Louis, thankfully, does not seem to find what he said strange. “It’s not that hard to stay away from them. Just avoid the places where other famous people often go. I mean, they still catch me a lot more than I want them to, but it’s nothing like what people like Eleanor gets.”
“Why don’t you just move somewhere else? Toronto is pretty nice,” he teases, smiling wildly.
“Fuck off, I am not moving to Canada,” Louis laughs, gently punching Harry on the shoulder. “I actually don’t live in LA. I’m only here now because I had work to take care of."
Harry almost asks what city is it, but he stops himself. They are literally talking about how Louis doesn’t like to divulge private information to people. That all-consuming curiosity to get to know Louis better is still present though, and Harry has a feeling that today might be his only real chance to get to know the guy better. There is just something telling him that if he doesn’t use this opportunity now then he is forever going to be stuck in the ‘work’ part of Louis’ life.
“What if you become friends with people you work with? What happens then?” he asks instead.
“Of course I make friends with people at work, but they’re like… work friends. Isn’t it normal to have friends in different groups that you wouldn’t normally mix for whatever reason? Like back at school I had people I knew from work, and then I had people who shared my major. And I also had friends who I partied with, friends I knew from back home, etc."
He has a point. Harry tried introducing his hipster friends—that’s the word Liam uses to describe them—to his group that he grew up with, and it did not go well at all. They had very minimal in common and could not agree on what they wanted to do. It had been such a gigantic failure that Harry now only mixes them when he throws parties at his place. So, Louis’ logic does work. Possibly a little too well.
“Do you ever make exceptions though?” Harry really hopes that he doesn’t look too eager or anything at that moment. He is definitely not asking for himself. Totally not.
Louis raises an eyebrow, but whether or not he suspects Harry’s motives is not clear. “Depends on what you mean by exceptions. You know, you’re awfully nosey."
He definitely suspects Harry’s motives then. The younger actor clears his throat, hastily directing his attention away from Louis and back at the passenger window. God, what is he even doing? He almost wants to swear to Louis that he isn’t normally like this, and that he knows how to respect boundaries and someone’s personal space. There is just something about Louis that always has him wanting to know more though. It’s like when he was back in school and sat in his history lessons. Harry was fascinated about how a single and seemingly insignificant action could shape how an entire country or group of people is built. He would take pages upon pages of notes, and for a little while he even considered becoming a history major until he discovered just how much reading in general that would entail.
Louis is full of history, but none of it has been written down neatly for mass consumption. He is kind of like one of those lesser known facts, the kind that researchers have a vague knowledge of yet all they can do is speculate as to what had really happened. And Harry wants to know. He still isn’t too certain as to where this gigantic need to get to know Louis better came from, but he does know that it probably won’t go away anytime soon.
“I guess I just want to be friends with you,” Harry admits quietly, still staring out the window.
“Oh, Harry,” Louis chuckles. “We can be friends.”
Work friends, Harry finishes for him. He doesn’t say it out loud though, and just smiles as Louis starts the car back up again and finally heads off to the hotel.
The break between seasons doesn’t really feel like much of one. Harry does a couple of more interviews during his remaining time in Los Angeles before he goes back home. He had been stopped so many times by people on the street that he began to suspect that some of them had no idea who he was and only wanted a picture with him because they saw other people asking for one. He can definitely get used to this, even if he isn’t entirely sure if that’s what he truly wants.
Even when he finally goes back home, he instantly dives into more projects. Liam found some potential roles for him—just minor things, but they’re on popular shows that will give him some decent exposure. It sort of feels like all he’s really doing is running from audition to meeting to audition; Liam is happy, though, and that makes Harry happy. He knows that he shouldn’t base his entire life around pleasing other people besides himself, but… Well, it really isn’t hurting anyone. It does mean that the Italian vacation has to be put on hold yet again, and that does sting him a little.
Winter fades into spring, and Harry hasn’t had any real contact with Louis since that day in LA. They do text now, after Louis confirmed their friendship, but it’s rather sporadically due to conflicting schedules. Louis actually relocated to London to perform in that play he had been excited about, and while Harry is very happy that he managed to find time to do it, it also brings in the confusion of different timezones. He is pretty sure their relationship is forever going to be stuck in the casual acquaintance-friend zone.
“Why do you care so much about being his friend?” Liam asks one day in his apartment, after Harry successfully finished shooting a commercial for some aftershave that made him smell suspiciously like soap. “It’s literally all you ever talk about anymore.”
“I talk about other things!” Harry defends himself, sticking his tongue out. “And is it really that bad that I want to hang out with him? Unlike you, I’m a friendly guy.”
Liam scoffs. “Dude, I’m plenty friendly. But this isn’t like that. I think—uh, never mind.”
“No,” Harry frowns. “What do you think? You can’t just stop in the middle of a sentence like that.”
“I think you have a crush on him. You don’t want to be his friend, you want to be his boyfriend.”
He freezes. That’s—that’s utterly ridiculous. When has he ever done a single thing to imply that he has any sort of feelings for Louis that aren’t platonic? Okay, yeah, maybe he spent a little too long on Youtube watching all of Louis' interviews and appearances, but that’s just because he really admires his work. And sure, when they kissed it felt like his heart had exploded into a million tinier and frantically thumping hearts, but who wouldn’t react that way then they’re kissed without warning? Absolutely none of these things signify that Harry has a crush on Louis fucking Tomlinson.
“Oh my God,” Harry whispers in horror. “I have a crush on Louis fucking Tomlinson.”
Liam just shrugs. “I’m honestly surprised we haven’t figured this out sooner. It was really obvious in… what’s that word? The one that means, like, when you’re looking back on it?”
“Um. Retrospect?”
“Yeah,” he continues. “You practically wet yourself whenever you had to do a scene with him in the beginning, remember? You almost quit the show because you didn’t think you could do it.”
“Look, Liam, I just had a life changing discovery, and if you aren’t going to help me through this then you can just leave.”
Liam squints at the direction of the front door. “But we’re in my apartment.”
“Then I’ll leave!” Harry retorts, and tries to remove himself from the couch he has been sitting on. It takes more effort than he had anticipated, though, so he decides to just stay where he is. “Just kidding. God, what am I going to do? I can’t like like him! This is horrible.”
“It might also explain why there’s been so much chemistry between you on TV,” Liam unhelpfully adds. “People were seeing your actual crush blooming like an itty bitty flower.”
Harry simply groans in reply. It does make a lot of sense when Liam puts it that way. This is literally the worst way for all of this to turn out; Harry had been skeptical of he and Louis ever becoming actual friends, but this? There is no chance in hell that he can get a date out of his co-star. If the guy doesn’t even like having his different groups of friends intermingle, then how low are the chances of him dating someone he works with? Microscopic, probably. Why does bad things happen to good people?
When he finally excuses himself and leaves Liam’s apartment, it’s with a sense of foreboding weighing heavily on his shoulders. A part of him wishes that he never told Liam to finish his sentence. Would he be happier if he hadn’t figured out this part of himself? On one hand, it does feel nice to finally know why he has been basically obsessing over Louis for the past few months. On the other, he has a stupid crush on one of the most unattainable people in this business. It is grossly unfair. Why couldn’t he like Zayn? Yeah, Zayn is also impossibly private about his personal affairs, but he used to date some musician a year ago. He was in one of her music videos, or something, so that shows that he knows that it’s okay to occasionally mix work with not work stuff.
As he unlocks his front door he receives a notification. He automatically assumes it’s Liam making fun of him, but when he checks, it’s from Louis. More importantly, it’s a message from Louis asking if he can Skype with him. Harry almost rips his door off its hinges in his haste to get inside and turn his computer on, and he almost forgets to respond and say yes. When he checks the time he notices that it should be just after ten PM on Louis’ end.
The chiming Skype makes when it notifies him of an incoming call might be the most beautiful sound Harry has ever heard. Except then he suddenly remembers, and how he begins to regret agreeing to this. He has just found out that he is crushing on this guy, and now he is going to talk to him? Can he trust himself to not behave like an embarrassing mess is the question here. Knowing that he can’t really back out of it now (although, technically, he can but he is much too nice to do that) he accepts the call.
He is greeted by the visual of Louis in sweatpants, his hand lazily resting over the crotch area. The shirt he has on looks as if it has a few wet spots here and there, as if he had just gotten out of the shower. This is probably the first time Harry has seen him without any product in his hair, and he desperately wishes that it wasn’t through a small laptop screen. It’s like, now that Harry is aware of his feelings for him, his brain is trying to catch up with everything it had missed doing due to his cluelessness. He notices everything. How Louis is leaning against a gigantic pile of seemingly mismatched pillows, and that there is something that appears to be a towel strewn over the bed. He probably used it to dry himself.
Harry tries very hard not to think about Louis being wet and naked. This is not going to work out at all.
“Sorry that this is so last minute,” Louis says. “We probably could have done this on the phone, but I figured we haven’t seen each other in a while, so.”
Harry laughs, and he hopes that is sounds genuine and not like a drowning cat. Louis doesn’t look startled, so he figures he nailed it. “It’s fine, I wasn’t really doing anything important. What’s up?”
A wide grin forms on Louis’ face at the question, and Harry is positive that if the camera was closer to his face then he could see Louis’ eyes crinkling in excitement. It’s one of his favorite things about him, the way all of his features can instantly light up like that. Liam would probably say something along the lines of, 'Everyone does that when they’re happy,' but this is different. When Louis does it, it’s different.
Seriously, how the hell did it take him this long to realize this shit?
“We’re going to be a couple!” Louis shouts gleefully, causing Harry’s heart to completely collapse onto itself. “I just spoke to Simon and they’re going to have our characters date. The first few episodes of the next seasons is going to focus a lot on Sandra though, but I figured as much.”
Now that Harry knows that Louis isn’t randomly asking him out, his heart rate slows down. It immediately picks back up again once he realizes that this means he will have to perform couple-y things with Louis on a regular basis. Yeah, it will be all faked for television, but that still doesn’t change the fact that it will be happening. What if he has to hold hands with him, and his palms get all clammy and gross and the jig will be up? He can visualize at least twenty different scenarios where this all ends horribly. He always figured that he might mess up badly one of these days while acting, but he never thought it would be because of something like this.
“That’s great,” he finally manages to get out. “I’m so happy for you, Lou.”
Louis’ fingers plays with the drawstrings of his sweats, and Harry unconsciously tracks the movement. He starts when Louis actually starts talking. “I did thank you, right? This would have never happened if it wasn’t for you."
Harry is suddenly very happy that he chose to sit at a table for this or else Louis would notice him shifting uncomfortably. “You’re giving me way too much credit. I’m sure they would have come around even if I hadn’t said anything.”
“You don’t understand,” Louis rubs his hands over his face, his smile dropping a fraction. “I told you that my relationship with them is complicated. We just… we don’t get along. At all. Literally the only reason Zayn and I are doing this is because Ben did us a huge favor a couple of years back, and he decided to cash in what we owe him now. If it had only just been me and Zayn fighting for this then they would have never done it just to spite us, even if the entire country wanted Elliott and Andy to have babies together. But I think you stepping in is what made them really consider it for real.”
“Eleanor helped too though,” Harry argues, trying not to be too pleased by Louis praising him like that. “It wasn’t just me.”
“She was lovely,” he agrees, although Harry notices that he does not look too convinced. “I love El, she's one of my best friends in this business. But why would she fight to get a smaller role? I could tell she tried, just not as much as she would have if she weren’t directly involved, I think. Not that I blame her for it.”
“Maybe I only did it to make sure I got a bigger part? For all you know, I don’t actually care about representation or anything,” Harry counters. He has no idea why he’s trying to convince Louis that he is not that great of a guy. He should be doing the opposite, honestly. At this rate this crush is never going to be mutual and Harry is just assuring that fact. He should probably sign off before he makes this any worse.
Louis, however, simply shakes his head in amusement. “You didn’t do it for yourself, you wanted to help me.”
“How do you know that though? You barely even know me.”
The other actor freezes, and at first Harry thinks that his connection must have lagged. Louis then mutters something in a tone so low that Harry only catches it as static. What Harry said had caught Louis off guard, although he isn’t sure if it was the question or the second part that did it. And then Louis is smiling again, and whatever that moment was, it passes.
“I know enough,” he says. “And I can tell that you did it for me, so just accept my thanks already and let’s call it a day.”
Harry pouts. Louis has a habit of ending conversations whenever he gets the point he wanted to make across. It's probably a habit he acquired because of his incredibly busy he is, but it's a gigantic thorn in Harry's side. He just wants to talk for hours with him and kindle a lifelong bond, alright? That is not too much to ask. He can't think of anything that will prolong this though. His entire thought process is still mostly wrapped around the fact that Louis' opinion of him seems to be extremely positive. And that means that maybe he can get this to work. He is pretty sure that dating is a dream that will never happen, but they can totally be friends. Harry wants to cross the barrier that separates Louis' two lives so badly, he just needs to find out what he needs to do in order to make that connection.
So, he stalls. "How's Zayn doing?"
Louis bursts into a long explanation of how exasperated he is with Zayn's schedule. From the sounds of it, the guy has taken up too many projects and is wearing himself out. Louis is yelling about things like unfair work conditions and tyrannical directors, and Harry is certain that he is absolutely right. He isn't entirely listening though, because the more Louis furiously waves his arms around in dramatic gestures, the more his shirt rides up to reveal a little pudge of belly. It is a very adorable sight to behold, but it also makes Harry's gut clench. He has seen Louis shirtless from photo shoots and even on their own set, but there is something much more intimate about this small hint of skin. He wishes they weren't separated by this thin screen, by miles of rock and ocean, and that he could reach over and touch him. He wishes they weren't separated by the own fence that Louis has built around himself. Yet even though Harry wants nothing more than to break it down, he respects his boundaries.
"Harry?" Louis asks. "Are you listening? You look like you're spacing out a bit there, maybe you should take a nap."
"Oh, sorry," Harry blushes. "Couldn't he drop some things?"
Louis sits up so that he is closer to the screen now. The movement sadly blocks the view of his stomach, but Harry will take the loss in exchange of seeing his face better. "He can. He won't though, 'cause he's stubborn as fuck. At least he finishes filming that movie in a few weeks. That'll make things easier..."
"You really care about him," Harry responds. He isn't sure why he said it, but it's true. Normally, he would probably be a little jealous if someone he liked had such a close relationship with another person. Yet he is completely comfortable with this, probably because he is pretty certain that there is nothing between Louis and Zayn. At least, he thinks there is nothing going on between them. He remembers all the rumors that consistently flock after them, and some pictures that had been taken from their early days that were a little too chummy in most people's eyes. But Harry has always been a very physically affectionate person, so he knows that what might appear to be sexually intimate to one person can just be how friends say hello to another.
"We're partners in crime," is his easy reply, as if it's something he has said countless of times in the past. It probably is. "If we ever ended up in one of those Saw films, I would chew off my arm for him."
"I can't compete against that," Harry whines. It takes him a moment too long to realize what he had said out loud, and his face instantly flushes. This is it, this is when Louis realizes that he has a great big crush on him. And then Louis will get too uncomfortable over the fact to act with him, and Harry will be fired. He can see it all happen so perfectly in his mind that he can already picture Liam's disappointed face when he gets the news.
There's an unreadable expression on Louis' face, although Harry thinks that might just be because of the poor lighting in both of their rooms. Maybe Louis is weirded out by Harry, but if so then he is definitely not showing it. Instead of ridiculing him or anything like that, he just slowly shakes his head. "You can't, no. But you can try."
Harry instantly perks up at that. "Can I?"
"I dunno. You'll have to figure that out."
For once in his life, Harry is excited about this job. As the weeks until they begin filming the second season become fewer, the more enthusiastic he gets. By now it's more than just wanting to make Louis proud, he wants to prove to everyone that this was the right choice. He wants to be able to look at Eleanor and not feel guilty about stealing her role, and he knows the only way that will happen is if this is a success. And yeah, there is a high chance that Simon and Ben will break their characters up, but Harry is prepared for that. As long as their relationship makes a difference and helps other kids accept their sexuality, then it's okay. Granted, he would prefer if they are endgame. He just doesn't want to get his hopes up about it.
Still, he can't lie and say that the main reason isn't Louis. He still isn't entirely convinced that he can do this without making a fool of himself in front of everyone, however, he is now willing to try. A part of him is also hopeful that maybe kissing Harry a lot will result in Louis wanting to kiss him for real. It is a very long shot that has a minimal chance of actually happening, but Harry has always been a glass half full kind of guy. But at least now he can properly be around him again; ever since he realized his feelings he has barely even seen him in person. Yeah, they text and Skype and all of that, but it isn't the same of being in the same physical place as one another. Plus, embarrassing yourself through a cell phone screen is a lot less damaging than in the flesh.
The first time he goes to back to the set to begin filming is a bit scary in the 'it's the first day of school and I haven't seen any of these people since summer started' way. He happily greets all the familiar faces while introducing himself to anyone who has been newly hired. This one girl, a short little thing named Ally, practically yanks his arm off in her excitement to introduce herself. It actually reminds him of his first day, and he has to excuse himself before he gets too sentimental over the whole thing. He doesn't appear in the first episode at all, as Elliott is avoiding his character while trying to pursue a proper relationship with Sandra at that point. But he makes an appearance in the second one, and the script for it is fantastic. Their characters don't become a couple yet in it, but every time he reads over his lines he giggles. He is probably too invested in this relationship.
He runs into a haggard looking Zayn while on the search for a snack. There are the faint traces bruises under his eyes from long nights without much sleep, and Harry thinks back to what Louis had previously said about Zayn being overworked. He wants to say something supportive to him, yet at the same time he doesn't want to be intrusive. All the information that Harry knows is secondhand, which means that it really isn't any of his business. Still, he worries. He has seen what happens when people are loaded with too much stress; Liam nearly had a mental breakdown during their senior year of high school because he was juggling being class president, captain of the football and basketball team, and about a trillion other activities on top of his classes. It is a time that they have both acknowledged to never talk about again, and if Harry is honest, it's part of the reason he decided to do this in the first place. He never wants to see his friend like that again, so he stays close.
"Hey Zayn," Harry greets him. "What's up?"
Zayn waves at him then quickly brings his hand to his mouth to stifle a yawn. "I'm ready to find a corner and nap."
"The couch should be free in that water cooler room," Harry offers, but Zayn actually looks scandalized at the suggestion. Okay, apparently even he is convinced that room is cursed. Before Harry can add more to the conversation, someone is calling Zayn away to do whatever it is highly paid actors get up to. Harry watches him go.
Eleanor suddenly whizzes by, holding three different cups of Starbucks in her petite hands. She pauses for a moment when she spots Harry, and a wave of guilt washes over him once again. He reminds himself that he didn’t put her out of work or anything; she is still very much a main character on the show regardless of Sandra’s relationship status. This move didn’t hurt her in any way, yet he still can’t shake the feeling that he betrayed her.
Whether or not she feels the sting of that betrayal is up in the air because she smiles brightly at him. Readjusting her hold on the cups, Eleanor gestures over to the stairs. “I’m running late so I can’t talk right now. We want to go out this week, ask Jade about it.”
With that, she rushes up the stairway. Harry sighs in relief even though he knows that it’s silly to be so worried over this. Eleanor has been acting since she was six years old, so this sort of thing probably means nothing to her in the long run. It really shows how much of a novice he is in this world. Situations that wouldn’t make his peers blinks make him fussy and convinced that he is going to fuck everything up.
He’s scheduled to shoot three scenes today, all with Louis. Apparently he’s going to be getting stuff that doesn’t involve Louis at all in an effort to make it so that his role doesn’t revolve around the other guy. Harry finds that kind of funny, considering that is exactly what Andy’s original purpose on the show was. That will be later on, though, Simon had said. For now they have to focus on building up the romance.
He finally finds Louis out back near the pool. The last time Harry had been out here, it had been so unbearably cold that just the mere concept of an outdoor pool felt like a cruel joke. It’s warm now though, the late summer sun beating down on him as he walks over to the his costar. Louis is draped over one of the lounge chairs, wearing the same sunglasses he had on that one day in LA. He doesn’t react in any real noticeable way when Harry walks over, but Harry thinks that he sat up a bit. It most likely means nothing significant, but Harry enjoys the idea of having even a minor effect on Louis.
Harry plops down in a chair adjacent to Louis’, hoping that he comes off as cool and casual instead of an excited puppy who wants to spend time with his best human friend. Louis still doesn’t stir from his position, which makes Harry fear that he was too cool and casual. Being overeager is one thing, but he doesn’t want to give off the air of someone completely uninterested. Interested in what though?
While Harry has his crisis, Louis sits up fully in his chair. He takes his sunglasses off and squints at Harry, his lips quirking up in amusement. When Harry finally notices the movement, Louis is already quietly snickering into his hand.
“What’s so funny?” Harry asks, looking at his chair to make sure he hadn’t sat in bird shit or something weird.
“You’re making a funny face,” Louis explains, grinning. “What are you thinking about?”
“Um,” he lets his gaze fall back on Louis. While he’s always attractive, he is just so much more brilliant during the summer. The winter months dull everything down, Harry believes, and even Louis’ features don’t come out as brightly as they would otherwise. California is a good place for him then; over there he never really has to fall victim to the cold’s withering touch. Here, underneath the sun, his skin is a soft gold. Harry wants to touch it.
Wait, Louis asked a question, didn’t he?
“I’m really excited about filming,” he finally says after what was definitely too long of a pause. “I won’t let you down.”
Louis groans, loud and definitely exaggeratedly, and he leans over to kick at the leg of Harry’s chair. “Will you stop that? I told you to stop worrying about it.”
“You know,” Harry frowns. “Just because you tell me to stop worrying about something doesn’t mean that I can. It’s not like there’s a switch I can press and make all the anxiety go away.”
Even though Harry hadn’t been that serious when he said it, Louis looks like he was reprimanded by his mother. Guilt washes over him despite the fact that what he said wasn’t even mean or anything. It’s true though. It isn’t like someone can stop thinking about something just because another person tells them to, and Harry is often the person on the other side doing the latter.
Louis nervously starts to run his hand through his hair, but stops once he remember that it has already been styled for filming. Not knowing what to do with his hands, he lets them fall uselessly at his sides while flashing Harry the faintest smile he has ever seen.
“You’re right,” he says. “Sorry. I was being inconsiderate.”
Harry hastily rushes over and kneels down in front of Louis, placing a hand on his knee. “No, you weren’t. You were trying to help. And you are! You’ve helped me so much through everything. I don’t know how I would have survived if Elliott was being played by—if he was like, James Franco or something.”
Louis snorts. “You wouldn’t have.”
“Exactly! So, don’t do this whole… looking like a kicked puppy thing.”
That perks Louis up a bit. Before Harry can understand what he is doing, Louis reaches over and ruffles a hand through his curly hair. Harry sighs in contentment, which just makes Louis smile even wider. “If anyone looks like a puppy here, it’s definitely you. If you were mine, I’d put a collar and chain on you.”
They both immediately freeze. Harry is suddenly very aware of the fact that he is still gripping Louis’ knee, and the weight of the other man’s fingers on his scalp is a lot heavier. Louis’ mouth is formed into a tiny 'oh' as if he can’t actually believe what just came out of his mouth. A moment if intense and embarrassed silence follows, and then they are both laughing hysterically.
“Is there something you want to share with the class?” Harry manages to wheeze out between giggles.
Louis playfully shoves him. “Shut up. You’re the one who has sex in airplanes, you asshole.”
When Louis pushes him, Harry dramatically begins to slowly fall over. He slumps onto Louis’ chair, lying on top of the other actor’s legs. He lets out fake moans of pain, holding the spot where Louis had made contact with him. “Oh no, you hurt me. I can’t move anymore.”
Louis practically cackles and he begins to halfheartedly try to get Harry off of him. He eventually admits his defeat and just lies there with Harry draped over his limbs. It’s actually an uncomfortable position for Harry as Louis’ knees keep digging into his side, but he doesn’t want to move. And he doubts that this is ideal for Louis either, yet he doesn’t complain. They both just stay like that for a while as a pleasant silence hangs over them that is only interrupted by the stray burst of laughter here and there. It isn’t until he hears footsteps approaching that Harry remembers where they are.
He looks up to see Zayn standing over them, his eyebrows raised in a questioning manner. Harry bolts straight up, but Louis doesn’t appear to be bothered by the intrusion. He just lazily waves at his friend while his other hand repositions his sunglasses over his eyes. And despite his obvious curiosity, Zayn isn’t that surprised by the sight. In fact, if Harry didn’t know better, he would think that the guy expected to find them like this. He stows that observation away to reexamine later.
“You’re needed on set,” he says in lieu of an actual greeting. “Unless you want to continue whatever is going on here, of course.”
“He thinks he’s so funny,” Louis says to Harry, pointedly ignoring his friend. “He tries to act so cool and distant, but I’ll have you know that he walks around his mansion all day in Green Lantern boxers—“
“I do not own a mansion,” Zayn interjects, and Harry doesn’t fail to notice that he didn’t deny the underwear claim. “You’re such a dick.”
“I’m your favorite dick, Malik,” he blows Zayn a kiss.
“I’m definitely not your favorite dick though.”
If Louis’ hadn’t immediately tensed up at Zayn’s words, Harry wouldn’t have paid any mind to it. Zayn looks apologetic almost the second that he says it, and Harry knows that he was not meant to hear that. Maybe Louis isn’t comfortable with joking about his sexuality around other people. He is suddenly so aware of the difference in his and Zayn’s closeness to Louis. Yeah, he is certain that he and Louis are definitely in the friends category now, but he will probably never reach that inner circle that people like Zayn are a part of. The crevice that separates what Harry is to Louis versus what he wants to be is much too deep, and he fears that if he attempts to cross is he’ll fall.
“Anyway,” Zayn clears his throat. “We should go inside now before they start a search party for you.”
Louis and Harry both nod and stand up. Louis removes his glasses and hangs them off of the collar of his shirt, and Harry pretends to not notice how the added weight makes his top dip down a little. The three of them all go back inside, although Louis and Zayn walk ahead him, whispering furiously to each other in a pace so quickly that Harry doubts he’d be able to keep up even if he decided to eavesdrop.
The rest of the day passes by smoothly. His scenes aren’t anything too difficult to shoot, so they only have to do a couple of retakes. Louis shows no signs of being upset about the events that happened, although Harry isn’t sure if it means that he has gotten over it or if he’s just that good of an actor. He very much hopes that it’s the former option. It’s not like he did anything wrong though, it was Zayn who screwed it all up.
He immediately winces at that thought. He should really stop reacting so hostilely towards Zayn; it’s not his fault that Harry can’t manage to become better friends with Louis. In fact, he has done nothing but be kind and supportive towards him. What kind of person does it make him if he’s going to treat someone like that as a rival? Especially when Harry is, like, sixty percent certain that absolutely nothing non-platonic goes on between Louis and Zayn.
Although Harry is done, Louis still has more work to do. He tries to say goodbye, but Stan swoops in and immediately starts chattering about something that happened to him over the weekend. Louis nods along to the story as a look of disbelief forms on his features. Not wanting to interrupt, Harry turns around and leaves the area. He remembers what Eleanor had said about a meet up that will be happening sometime this week, and that he should ask someone about it. Unfortunately, he cannot remember at all the name she had given.
He wanders around the building in search for Eleanor or, in case he suddenly remembers, whoever it is that she said. After about twenty minutes of straggling, he figures he should just call it a day and leave. He can ask around later, or he can just not go. It isn’t like anyone actually minds if you don’t show up.
While walking home he receives a text from none other than Louis. His heart rate quickens as he scans the contents of the message, a wave of relief washing over him once he’s assured that nothing is wrong between them.
sorry for how weird it got back there ! are you going to el’s thing?
It takes him a few seconds to realize what he’s talking about. Of course Louis would know about it, he worked with Eleanor today. Harry quickly types out a reply.
It’s okay nothing was weird. She invited me but didn’t leave any details? x
friday night they’re all going to the king’s head , i’m going to actually go for once.. i was hoping i’d see you there?
Harry almost drops his phone in his haste to cover his reddening face. This is what it must feel like to have your crush ask you out for prom, he figures, only with less shopping at Macy’s for a dress. This would be the first time that he and Louis hang out with their coworkers together since he made the realization, and he’s sort of nervous about it. It’s one thing for them to interact with others at a work environment, but in a bar?
I’ll definitely be there! :)
They still have three whole days until then though, so Harry can manage to freak out about that later. Which, of course, means that he spends the rest of the week obsessing over it. He invites Liam to go along with him, partly so he can finally introduce him to Louis, but mostly so he can have an excuse to make a quick exit if things go badly. He also completely tears his closet apart on the hunt for an outfit that is provocative yet still classy enough to be worn around your coworkers. He settles for a pair of tight jeans and a white shirt that is transparent enough to show the vague outlines of his tattoos. For a while he was considering a black button up that was completely see through, but Liam tossed that idea out immediately because apparently it is ‘too much’ and he doesn’t want to come off as ‘easy.’
When the night finally arrives Liam has to practically drag Harry out of the door and into their cab. He's not, like, not excited for this or anything, but he has done at least ten different simulations of how this could end up terribly wrong. What if he's too obvious about his crush and absolutely everyone finds out about it? What if he's not obvious enough, and Louis forever stays in his oblivious corner while Harry dies alone? What if Louis and Zayn really are dating and they get so drunk that they make out in front of everyone? Maybe he can fall and break his leg and that way he won't have to go at all.
Okay, he might be acting a little overdramatic about this. Perhaps he made the right career choice after all.
He grudgingly follows Liam inside the building, hiding behind his friend's larger frame so that he can make a quick getaway if he decides that it's needed. The bar has more of a club atmosphere than anything, with very low lighting and pounding music. There are more booths and tables than open floor space though, which is how Harry assumes they made the distinction between the two. He easily spots their group over by a corner; there's a lot of them, and they're really loud. Other patrons keep looking over at them, but Harry isn't sure if it's because they're annoying the other customers or if the celebrities within the group have been recognized.
Louis is already there and, surprisingly, so is Zayn. They are both in deep conversation with Leigh-Anne. Harry watches in amusement as Louis flings his hands around as he tries to explain something, almost clipping Josh right in the face. Harry laughs at the sight and Louis immediately looks in his direction. They stare at each other for what feels like way too long to be normal, and Harry instantly wants to run out the door. He hasn't even said anything to him yet and he has already managed to embarrass himself. Before he can slink away in shame, though, Louis beckons for them to come over. And, to Harry's horror, Liam starts walking to him.
"What are you doing?" Harry hisses at his friend as he, unfortunately, follows him. "Where do you think you're going?"
"He wants you to go over to him," Liam replies way too loudly. Harry almost wonders if his friend is just clueless, but the smirk on Liam's face implies that he knows exactly what he is doing right now. "You said you were going to introduce me to him."
"I've changed my mind," Harry tugs on Liam's sleeve helplessly. "Quick, fake an illness. You got appendicitis. Fall to the ground holding your stomach or something!"
Liam actually stops walking at that, but it's just to look incredulously at Harry. "What? No, this floor is disgusting."
"Harry! Come on, I saved you seats," Louis calls out over the music, now waving at them.
"See?" Liam says smugly. "Now we have to go."
Not knowing what else to say, Harry meekly follows his horrible best friend over to the others. They moved four long tables together, and Louis is seated at the very end of them. True enough, there are two seats open in that area, one to his right and the other in front of Zayn. Liam takes the one by Zayn, which leaves Harry to slide onto the other one. He is suddenly very grateful for how dark it is in here because he is almost positive that he started sweating due to his nerves.
Why is this happening? He has always been smooth when it comes to wooing people. Well, smooth might be a stretch, but he never worried about it like this. It always sucks if someone you like doesn't like you back, but Harry never let it bum him out too much. This? All of this fretting and nail biting over a boy is completely new to him, and he just does not know how to properly deal with it. He wishes, not for the first time, that he never realized his feelings. Things were so much easier when he believed that he just admired Louis as a fan.
Before Harry can fall even more into a spiral of doubt, Louis reaches over and hugs him. Harry immediately freezes as his mind short circuits, and Louis slowly lets go. There's a frown tugging at his mouth, like he's unsure if what he did was okay or not. Harry snaps out of it though and returns the hug, desperately hoping that his heartbeat doesn't sound like he has just finished running a marathon. He had not been informed that their friendship is at the hugging stage, and now that the initial shock is gone, he has to say that he is very much okay with this development. Hell, if he knew about this, he would have been hugging Louis all the time. Harry loves hugs; they're in his top ten favorite things.
When they finally separate, he notices that both Liam and Zayn are grinning at the two of them. Louis must notice it too as he looks away, muttering under his breath about the lack of privacy. Zayn just rolls his eyes at that and turns towards Liam to resume talking. Harry forgot that they have met already. He felt a little guilty in bringing Liam here because he didn't want to ditch him, but it looks like he'll be fine even without Harry's attention. However, that also means that Harry is free to speak to Louis as much as he wants. He isn't sure if he's prepared for that.
"Do you want anything to drink?" Louis asks him after all the proper introductions are over with. "I was going to get a refill, wanna come with?"
"Uh, sure," Harry replies. He gives himself a mental high five for not fucking that up and then follows Louis over to the bar. They both just get a beer and a plate of cheese fries to share and Harry is beginning to feel more like himself again. He shouldn't be freaking out over this. After all, Louis has almost gotten him killed before and that didn't hinder this budding friendship, so what can possibly top that? A lot of things, probably, but if he doesn't think about any of them then everything will turn out okay.
While waiting for their order, Louis nudges his side. "So that's your infamous bestie then? Pretty buff, isn't he?"
Harry glances over at the table to find that Liam and Zayn are still talking animatedly together about something. "He's one of those people who wakes up at four AM to go running."
"What?" Louis blanches. "Does he hate himself?"
Harry shrugs. "I can't tell if you hate exercise or waking up early."
"I hate them both. And sadly because of this shitty job, I am sometimes forced to do them."
"I thought you liked acting," Harry asks, confused. This is the first time that he has ever heard Louis complain about his work. He might have a few bad things to say about people he's had to work with or certain projects, but never acting itself.
"I do," Louis replies a little too quickly to be completely genuine. He seems to realize this and he lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "No, I do, really. I've just had a bit of a shit week. Forget I said anything."
Harry wants to ask what happened. He knows that whatever Louis will answer with, if he even does supply him with an answer, will not be the truth. He can just tell that this is one of those subjects that Louis isn't comfortable discussing with people who don't have his complete trust. He can also tell that he isn't at that level yet, and maybe he never will be there. He suddenly feels small again, like this is a mistake. He thought that he was completely okay with just being Louis friends, although now he realizes that had been a blatant lie. He wants to kiss Louis again, only for this time it to be because Louis wants him. What if he can't properly pretend to be Louis' fictional boyfriend because of this? If he wrecks Ellandy just because he's having a crisis over his own feelings, he won't ever be able to forgive himself.
"Okay," he nods, and is eternally grateful when the bartender chooses that moment to hand over their order. Harry grabs his beer and the fries and hurries back over to the table. Instead of sitting in his seat, though, he walks to the other side to greet his other co-workers. He pretends to not notice Louis sitting down in his spot, or the fact that he keeps casting Harry confused looks. Instead, he talks to Eleanor for a couple of minutes and then moves to the next person. It isn't until he has said at least hi to everyone there that he makes his way back to his end of the table. The fries are already almost half gone.
"Welcome back," Louis says a little darkly while sipping at his drink. "It's nice of you to join us."
Liam and Zayn are still in the middle of their conversation, and Harry wonders if they ever actually stopped talking since he left. Now that he's paying attention, it sounds like they're discussing Zayn's contract with his management company. He's going on about unfair treatment and expectations while Liam looks positively aghast at it all. They barely acknowledge him when he sits down, and the rest of the group are all talking amongst themselves. That means Louis must have been here, alone, waiting for Harry to come back.
"I forgot to say hi to them earlier," Harry replies defensively, not sure why he even has to explain himself in the first place. "I didn't want to be rude."
"Hm," is all Louis says.
That really pisses Harry off. Like, why is he acting like a jerk? Sure, he shouldn't have just ditched him like that, but it wasn't that big of a deal. And it's not like they're there together. It's a group outing, for God's sake, so one would assume that Harry should interact with the rest of the group. Anyway, Louis has no right to act possessive considering he won't even tell Harry about anything even remotely important.
"I need to pee," Harry announces to no one in particular. He walks away from the table and, instead of looking for the bathroom, heads right outside. As soon as he's away from all the noise he feels much lighter, as if some sort of weight has been lifted off of him. He shouldn't have come. He screwed up somehow in there, but it wasn't in any of the ways he had prepared for. Honestly, he doesn't even think he had been the problem. Fucking Louis. He considers sending Liam a text to tell him that he left, but before he can fish his cell out of his pocket, the door opens again.
Fucking Louis.
The streetlights above them cast a yellowish glow that gives Louis' skin a sickly look. Still, it works on him. Everything works on him, and Harry hates that he still thinks that Louis is so pretty even when he's currently mad at him. It's probably good that they are never going to date. How is he supposed to win any arguments if all he wants to do is kiss him?
"This isn't the bathroom," Louis says quietly once the door fully closes behind him.
Harry tries not to laugh at the observation. "No, it's not. I was planning on sneaking away."
"You shouldn't."
He actually does laugh at that. "Yeah, I shouldn't. I just—Louis, I really admire you, you know? I've always been this huge fan of yours and when I got casted in this part, all I could think of was how amazing it would be to finally get to meet you? Like, I didn't even care that I got the role. I was just happy because you got yours."
Louis only stares at him, slack-jawed, and Harry decides that he might as well keep going. If he is going to fuck this night up, he might as well go all the way now that he's already started. He has always been terrible at keeping secrets anyway, so maybe coming clean will reduce his stress level. It will probably blow up in his face, but anything should be better than this uncertainty.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I like you? A lot. But I realize that nothing is going to come from it because we work together. And a part of me kind of wishes that I never got this part because then maybe we could have dated, but if that didn't happen then I'd probably wouldn't have ever met you."
No response. Harry lets out a shaky breath and bites his bottom lip. There. He just confessed and now it is time for him to run away. Maybe he will move to Australia or something, somewhere very far away so he will never have to risk running into Louis ever again. They can just recast Andy or something, there are plenty of curly haired actors in the world. Hell, maybe they can just kill his character off and then have Elliott get together with another guy. Before he can continue to plan out his escape from eternal embarrassment, though, Louis is grabbing him. And he's kissing him.
Much like the first time, Harry is caught off guard. At first, he thinks this is some sort of hallucination that his mind conjured to make him feel better about confessing. But those are real lips, so soft and familiar, pressing against his own. And those are real hands, much smaller than Harry's, gripping his forearms tightly. And they all belong to Louis, who is standing right there in front of him and kissing him when they aren't in front of a camera. This is Louis right now, not Elliott, and Harry almost faints from the feeling. He doesn't, though, just because he might never recover from the horror if he did that.
"Holy shit," Harry whispers when Louis backs away, red faced. "I thought you don't mix your work with your personal life."
"I don't," Louis replies, sounding more uncertain than Harry has ever heard him. "I don't usually... I just needed to kiss you right then."
Harry raises an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Louis shakes his head, like he isn't sure what he's talking about either. He glances at the door that separates them from the rest of their group, and Harry's heart sinks. Louis wants to go back inside, away from him. He doesn't exactly blame him though. Harry had been attempting to escape as well, before all of this had happened, so he can't judge. But his head is swarming with different questions right now, and if he doesn't get an answer to least one of them Harry might actually go crazy.
"Do you like me?" Harry asks. There's hope blooming inside him, and he needs to know right now before he lets it grow any further. He just isn't in the mood to play games like this, so Louis just needs to be straight (ha ha) with him.
Louis rolls his eyes and mimics Harry's question in a mocking tone. "Of course I like you, you idiot. Why else would I do that?"
"Then why are you doing whatever the hell this is?" Harry shouts, spreading his arms out to gesture wildly at their surroundings. "Can you stop being so secretive about all of this?"
Louis simply shakes his head again. For a second it appears like he's about to respond, but instead he just grabs Harry's arm and starts walking, tugging Harry along with him. Harry almost doesn't follow just to be difficult; he does, of course, because his annoyance at the other man is far outweighed by how much he wants this to actually happen. While he fantasized about being more than just friends with Louis he never truly thought that it could be a thing that might happen. But Louis basically just said he returns Harry's feelings. So, this can happen. This can be a thing. Harry almost wants to start cartwheeling in joy, but a) Louis is still holding onto him and b) the last time he attempted a cartwheel he accidentally knocked out Gemma's front teeth.
They walk two whole blocks before Harry decides to ask where are they going. He doesn't need to get the words out, though, because they stop right in front of a hotel. Red flags immediately start flashing in Harry's mind. Why is Louis taking him to a hotel? Does he want to have sex with him? Is that's what going on right now? But instead of going to the concierge desk, Louis takes them straight to the elevator. Harry realizes that this must be where Louis has been staying during his time in Toronto and why is he taking him here? That sex theory is still applicable. Oh, no, what if Louis only wants him for his body? Harry looks down. It is a nice one, so he can't blame Louis for it.
The wait inside the elevator is uncomfortably silent. Louis has finally let go of Harry and is typing something out on his phone. He immediately puts it away when the elevator doors slide open, and he leads Harry into the hall. They go past several doors until they reach one that reads 423 on a plaque. Once there, Louis starts banging on the door. The sound makes Harry flinch; he had been expecting Louis to pull out a key card or something. This is just rude. The door opens and a blonde head pokes out from behind it. His eyes are unfocused, like he had just woken up, and when he sees who it is he just grunts and opens the door wider. The blonde walks back inside and Louis immediately follows. Harry, not knowing what else to do, goes in after them and shuts the door behind him.
The stranger immediately plops down on one of two twin beds that decorate the room. It's a lot smaller than what Harry would have expected Louis to book; it's just a normal hotel room that an average person would be able to afford, well below Louis' price range. Maybe it isn't his room at all, and it belongs to the blonde guy. Actually, now that Harry has a better look at him, he seems a little... familiar. Harry stares at him harder. He is almost positive that he has seen this guy before, but he can't remember where.
And then it hits him. This is the same guy who he saw with Zayn all those months ago. But why is Louis taking Harry to see him? Unless... this guy is Louis' boyfriend. Either that or he's Louis' ex, and now Harry has to defeat him in battle in order to date Louis. He really hopes that isn't the case because he isn't a fan of fighting.
"Why are you bringing him to my room?" he asks, his voice raspy with sleep. "Yours is literally across from mine."
"Zayn has the key," Louis explains. "Harry, this is Niall. He's my and Zayn's other best friend from college."
"We've met," Niall says, as if he and Harry had actually been properly introduced. "Couldn't you gotten another one from the desk?"
Louis pointedly ignores him. "Sorry, Harry, he isn't normally this rude. He's just really crabby when you wake him up."
"No shit," Niall growls. "Go get a spare key."
"Fine!" Louis shouts and immediately leaves the room, leaving Harry alone with Niall. Harry shifts uncomfortably, not sure of what to do. He really did not expect any of this to happen. And now here he is, alone with someone who is apparently Louis' best friend. Louis has never mentioned Niall before, Harry is certain about that, which means that he is a part of that super secret part of the actor's life. And Louis just shared him with Harry. Harry isn't entirely sure of what all of this means, but this is definitely a step in the right direction. Several steps, in fact. Possibly even a giant leap.
Niall yawns loudly and rubs his eyes. He still looks out of it, but he seems to be much more alert now than when they came in. He smiles sleepily at Harry and sits up on the bed. "He never shuts up about you. Ever since you got them to agree to have the two of you make out on TV, he's been all, 'Harry did this today,' and 'look at what Harry just texted me,' and 'I want to suck his great big cock.' I was fucking ready to send you hate mail for how much sleep I've lost because of you."
Despite his words, Niall looks absolutely thrilled to see him. It sort of reminds Harry of what Zayn had said before, about how grateful Louis was. Except, you know, Zayn failed to mention the blowjob part. Harry blushes at the thought, and he decides that it is a good time to examine his boots. He catches Niall broadly grinning at him though, and that makes him smile in return. Louis definitely likes him then. He likes him and he told his friends about it. This is literally the exact opposite of how Harry expected this night to go and, aside from a few road bumps along the way, he is so glad for that.
"I can't believe he actually introduced us though," Niall suddenly says, frowning slightly. "He never does that."
It's one thing to hear that from Louis or Zayn or anyone else they work with, but having someone who is from Louis' personal life admit it feels... strange. It's almost like Harry is trespassing into a place where he isn't fully welcome at, except the people are too polite to kick him out. He has established that Louis likes him and that's fine. Hell, it's more than fine. It's fucking fantastic. How will this work though? If—he tries very hard not to think when—they start dating, do they keep it a secret? Are they supposed to pretend that they are nothing more than co-stars to the general public? Harry attempts to imagine himself doing that and he draws a blank. He could barely manage to keep the simple fact that he even has feelings for Louis hidden, so how is he supposed to lie about an actual, tangible relationship? He can't.
Niall must notice his unease. He gets up from the bed and ruffles Harry's hair affectionately, as if they hadn't just properly met just several minutes ago. "Don't get me wrong, between him and Zayn I've been to plenty of premieres and other shit. I've met Beckham, like, three times. Louis normally just doesn't bring you guys to me. So I think you're pretty special."
Harry greatly appreciates the words of encouragement, and now he sort of wants to snoop around past appearances so he can try to find Niall in pictures. He's still apprehensive though. "Why me though? It's not even like we're that close. We barely saw each other when the show was on hiatus, and even when we were filming the first season we only really started talking after I got Ben and Simon to—oh. Is that the only reason he likes me?"
"No," Niall shakes his head quickly. "I mean, that did catch his attention, but... Shit. Harry, you really need to be asking him all of this, you know how he hates people digging through his personal life. He'll murder me if he finds out I said any of this."
He returns to his seat on the bed, although Harry can't help but notice that Niall doesn't actually look apologetic for blabbing. Honestly, Harry sort of suspects that Niall completely meant to say all of that and doesn't care what Louis would do to him in retaliation. He wonders just how close they are, and excitement spikes through him at the thought that there is a very real chance that he might find out.
A loud banging on the door announces Louis' return, and Harry hurries over to open it. Louis doesn't even step inside, instead opting to grab Harry's arm and drag him outside into the hall. Niall shouts out words of protest, but Louis ignores them all and opens his own hotel room with his newly acquired key. Much like the room they were just in, this one is very modestly decorated with two beds. It also looks like a tornado blew through it. Clothing is strewn around all corners of the room, from the floor to hanging on the bedside lamp. Harry almost trips over a pair of boots that were left right in front of the doorway. Louis, at least, seems embarrassed by his own mess.
Now that they're alone again, a wave of awkwardness washes over Harry. Before he had been worrying that they were going to immediately dive under the sheets, although now he knows that was foolish. They have things to figure out first, and Harry isn't sure if he wants to progress this any further until he knows exactly what he's getting into. It'll be either to process just how weird this night has gotten if they can put it into words somehow. At the very least it will make him feel better.
"So," Harry says as casually as he can. "You sort of kissed me back there."
Louis snorts. "Straight to the point then? You're killing me here, Styles."
"Louis."
He groans, covering his face with his hands. Louis stays in that position for a moment, and Harry isn't sure if he's trying to collect himself or hide. It's an odd sight, witnessing someone who is usually so collected and sure of himself unwinding like this. It just further shows Harry just how little he truly knows Louis. For all he knows, this might be what he's actually like—so small, so uncertain. Or perhaps this is just what Louis is like now, at this moment, when he's faced with Harry.
He doesn't know what to make of that.
Louis finally lowers his hands and he looks straight at Harry, his eyes unblinking and filled with a sort of determination that Harry hasn't seen since the other actor accidentally admitted his sexual orientation. "I don't usually do stuff like this. I mean, I always knew that I wanted to act. Actually, I considered singing for a little while but I chickened out of that one since I don't think I'm very good at it. Um, where was I going with this?"
He laughs, short and stilted, and sobers up quickly. "When we were first introduced I thought you were really hot. I also thought you were probably straight. And even if it turned out that you weren't, that wouldn't have mattered because I just don't date other actors. I noticed that if you date someone who isn't famous then the media cares less about it. But the moment it's two musicians or two actors or whatever, it instantly becomes this weird circus of attention. So, no famous people. And it turned out that didn't even really become an issue since I never started seriously liking anyone that way anyway."
"Except for me?" Harry asks. He meant for it to come out as smug, but it instead sounds stupidly hopeful and endeared.
"I knew you broke character during that scene," he says instead, completely ignoring Harry's interjection. "When you tripped, I mean. I could tell you were about to tell them to stop filming, so I just... kissed you anyway. I wanted to."
"You could have saved me months of confusion if you just told me all of this earlier," Harry sighs, sitting down on a portion of a bed that isn't covered in junk. "You know, it took me three days to pick out this outfit?"
Louis sits down next to him, leaving a good amount of space in between their bodies. "Sorry. I just had no idea how to handle it. I figured that I'd get over it eventually, but then you had to go and say that you like me back..."
"Are we dating now? I mean, are we in a relationship or are we in that weird stage where we both know we like each other but don't know what to do about it?"
"What?" Louis gapes at him. "You don't just ask like that! You're breaking like twenty rules of pre-dating etiquette here, Harry. Work with me here!"
He can't help it but he is smiling now, and so is Louis. Harry scoots over a little so that the space separating them isn't as large anymore. "Pre-dating? Does this mean we're going to date?"
"Oh my God," Louis covers his face again, although this time it's to stifle laughter. "Yes! Yes, we are going to date, if you are okay with that. Are you happy now?"
Instead of properly answering, Harry decides to launch himself on top of Louis, wrapping his arms around the new flailing young man. He protest loudly and pushes at Harry, but there's no real intent behind it. Louis finally hugs Harry back, muttering things under his breath about clingy boyfriends and getting hair in his mouth. Harry ignores it all and just hugs him more tightly.
He lets go. "Wait, how is this going to work? Are we going to like... keep it a secret from everyone?"
The smile on Louis' face vanishes instantly. As Harry had initially thought, this is where the problem lies. Louis sits up straighter, separating himself fully from Harry, but he also puts a hand on the younger actor's leg. So. That's a good sign. "Can we? I mean, not from our close friends, but... for now? We can announce it later, I promise. I just don't want everyone analyzing us before we even get a chance to see how this goes for ourselves, you know?"
For now. Okay, Harry can do for now. He can manage hiding this from people temporarily. Although then there's the question of what point in time does 'later' even mean. A few weeks? Months? Does Louis plan on not telling anyone for years until they, like, get married or something? What if they break up before they reveal anything? Would that mean that it'd be like nothing even happened to the general public? That seems so weird to Harry, and he doesn't want to think about them splitting up when they have only been dating for like twenty seconds. It feels like instead of dissipating, his old anxiety has just been replaced with newer, more glowering anxiety.
He could, potentially, voice these concerns. They could continue discussing it until they reach a conclusion that pleases both of them, and he won't have to worry about any of it again until another issue comes up. Instead, Harry leans over and kisses him again. Louis squeaks in surprise, but he is soon returning the kiss. It's light and playful, and Harry starts pecking Louis' face in closed lipped kisses that leaves the other man giggling. Harry doesn't really mean for anything to come out of this, he simply wants to lighten the heavy mood that has fallen over the two of them. Yes, things are awfully complicated. But they're officially dating now, and he wants to celebrate that fact.
He goes to lean back but his hand collides into something hard. A backpack. Louis makes a disgruntled sound, untangling himself from Harry, and he proceeds to shove everything that isn't a sheet or a pillow off the bed. Harry winces a little at the loud thunk the items make as they hit the ground, but Louis pays it all no mind. Instead, he crawls further up the bed and settles up against pillows. He pats the spot next to him, wiggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly at Harry. Regardless of how ridiculous it is, it still gets Harry over to him. They join their lips together again, this time with more fervor than the butterfly kisses they were throwing at each other earlier. Louis opens his mouth to give Harry more access, and he happily obliges.
It's overwhelming. Harry never thought that this could be a possibility, that one day he would be able to actually touch Louis like this and for it to be real. God, even if this all goes away in the morning, Harry will be alright with that. At least he got to be his boyfriend for one night. Right now, it doesn't matter what gossip magazines might be saying or whatever the fuck is trending on Twitter. It's just Harry and Louis. Harry and Louis, with their hands exploring each other's bodies and their lips brushing against soft skin. He is just so, so happy, and nothing could make this any better than it already is.
And that is when Louis unzips Harry's pants.
He lied.
It just got so much better.
"Is this okay?" Louis asks, his hands hovering over Harry's crotch. "I should have asked first. Am I moving too fast?"
"Please continue with what you were about to do," Harry replies breathlessly.
Louis chuckles and starts to pull Harry's jeans down his long legs. He gets them past his thighs before giving up entirely, instead redirecting his attention to yanking down Harry's boxer briefs. Harry's dick springs out, still not fully hard but thickening. Louis murmurs words of praise under his breath, and Harry is so thankful that he doesn't catch any of them because he isn't sure if he could handle that right now. He presses a gentle kiss onto the inside of Harry's thigh, and then another on the opposite one. His mouth trails upwards, past (unfortunately) his cock and to his navel. There, Louis unceremoniously blows a great big raspberry into his skin. Harry shrieks in laughter, hastily covering his mouth so that their neighbors won't suspect anything.
That sense of decency lasts until Louis' mouth touches his dick and suddenly Harry wouldn't even care if Obama heard. Louis licks a stripe down his shaft, and pauses like he's considering the taste of it. He's doing it to annoy him, Harry is fully aware of that, but it still makes his penis twitch anyway. Louis' eyes practically sparkle when it happens, like he takes absolute delight in making Harry squirm like this. God, who the hell knew that Louis Tomlinson is a gigantic tease? Harry is so thankful that he got to find out.
Then, without further delay, Louis takes him in his mouth. He doesn't go slowly, and instead immediately takes in as much as he can without choking. Harry moans at the wetness, wanting desperately to thrust in, but forcing himself not to. Harry is pretty sure they are not at the point where it is okay to fuck Louis' mouth, although he very much hopes that they might someday get there. For now, he relishes the way Louis sucks on him. He works tirelessly, each time he takes as much dick into his mouth as possible before pulling away. When his lips touches Harry's tips he licks at it, letting his tongue swirl around the head in random patterns. Harry knows that he's pretty big, and that taking him whole each time must be awful for Louis' jaw, but he still keeps at it.
Harry can feel his orgasm building, and he tugs on Louis' sleeve to let him know. Louis nods once in understanding, but he doesn't pull off. His lips wrap around Harry's head and he looks up from under his long eyelashes, as if daring Harry to spill inside his mouth. That sight—Louis' mocking gaze and his swollen lips around him—is what finally brings Harry to the edge. He comes, hard, and Louis obediently swallows as much as he can. He has to back away though once it gets too much, and he sputters in indignation when some of the semen hits his chin. Harry laughs at the sight and immediately pulls Louis over to him so they can kiss.
"Your turn," Harry whispers into his mouth. He tries to pull at Louis' pants but to no avail. Louis rolls his eyes and gets off the bed to removes all of his clothing. Harry stares at the image—Louis' thick, tanned thighs and his erect cock, already beginning to leak. He goes to move back on the bed, but Harry lifts a hand up to stop him. "I want you to lay down on your stomach, okay?"
Louis blinks, scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion. He does as he's told told, lying down on his front. "I am not sure if you can reach my dick like this, just so you know."
"That would be an issue if that was what I was going for," Harry replies, tearing off the rest of his clothes as well because it feels unfair for only Louis to be naked. He settles behind Louis and cups his boyfriend's ass with his hands, relishing how soft it is. Harry begins kneading Louis' cheeks, watching as they jiggles beneath his fingers. Before he can rethink what he's doing he bites into the flesh, causing Louis to let out a throaty moan. Now that he's sure that this will get a positive reaction, Harry spreads Louis' cheeks apart with his fingers. "You okay?"
Louis has his face buried into one of the pillows, and he meekly gives a nod to the question. With permission granted, Harry nuzzles his nose against the crevice of Louis' ass. He then licks at his hole, smiling when Louis' body tenses up. He does it again, with more pressure, and he almost wants to laugh at how his beautiful boy reacts to it. Harry goes on like that, never penetrating Louis, until his hole is nice and sleek with his spit. At one point he keeps missing his target as Louis begins rocking his hips into the bed, trying to get friction on his cock. Harry gently slaps Louis' ass in an effort to get his attention, and that only causes him to moan so loudly that Harry is pretty sure that if anyone had been walking by their room at that time they would have heard it.
"Did you like that?" Harry says, rubbing at the spot he struck. When Louis nods, Harry smacks him again on the other cheek. He does it three more times in quick succession, and he thinks he could come again just from how Louis arches his back with his contact. The other actor mumbles a string of words into his pillow, and Harry kind of wants to know what they are but he doesn't want to move from this spot. He softly spokes the now reddening skin instead and Louis squirms under his touch.
He spreads the cheeks again while simultaneously massaging the skin and then he brings his mouth back to Louis' rim. This time, he actually pokes his tongue through the entrance, which brings out a whole new set of sounds out of Louis. Harry steadily begins to fuck him with his tongue, licking him more and more open until Louis is practically shoving his ass into his face to get more. For one absurd moment Harry thinks that he might just drown in it, and that causes him to burst into a fit of giggles. The vibration of his laughter must do something good to Louis because he starts cursing madly, begging for more.
Once his rim is wet and open enough, Harry sticks his fingers into his own mouth and sucks on them. Louis turns to watch, his eyes glazed over and so shiny, as if he's about to start crying. Harry gulps at the thought that his tongue brought Louis to near tears, and he almost leans over to kiss him again. He stops himself though; he's not done here. Once his fingers are all slick with spit, Harry returns his attention to Louis' bottom. He decides to test the waters first and very gently nudges a finger through the rim, causing Louis to let out a barely audible gasp. Harry waits for any sign of protest and when none comes he starts to finger Louis. He eventually adds in a second finger as he works Louis open, scissoring his fingers as he thrusts them in and out. He knows when he hits the prostate when Louis suddenly buckles, babbling words of praise and nonsense. Grinning mischievously, Harry adds in a third finger.
He imagines himself fucking Louis for real, and all the different ways they can do it. He imagines Louis bent over his kitchen table, and with his legs hanging over Harry's shoulders. He imagines him just like this, with his ass hanging in the air as Harry pounds into him relentlessly. And then he imagines the reverse—Louis fucking into him, yanking on his long hair each time he thrusts. The mental image makes him lose his rhythm momentarily and Louis protests at the loss. Harry continues the pace until Louis finally comes, rutting desperately against the hotel's sheets. Harry kisses the dip in Louis' back then makes his way up; he kisses his shoulder blades, the top of his head. Harry turns him around and then they are kissing each other's mouths, hot and in need of each other's touch.
Eventually Louis removes himself from the bed to get something to wash them off with. He returns with a cloth and immediately wipes the dried semen from Harry's body, taking extra care to scrub it all away. When he starts to clean himself, Louis smiles coyly at his new boyfriend. "You know, I thought you liked Zayn."
Harry chokes. "What? How? Why?"
"Just... some things you said made it seem like you did," Louis admits, not looking at him. "I never dated him, by the way. In case you were wondering."
"I wasn't," Harry lies. He amends, "Okay, maybe a little. I wouldn't have been mad or anything if you did. He is really hot."
Louis rolls his eyes, shaking his head dramatically. "Please don't remind me."
They both lay together after they're wiped off, and Harry can feel sleep ebbing away at him. This entire night has just been a roller coaster, and he's almost afraid to close his eyes in case it all turns out to be a dream. He lied earlier; he isn't okay with this only lasting a single night. He knows now that he wants this to last til morning, and then the next day, and the day after. He wants this to go on for as long as it can, and he wants to learn all about Louis. Even though they are together now, he's fully aware that there is a lot they don't know about one another. Hell, they don't even know about each other's families. That can change now though. It will.
Louis sits up so that he’s leaning over Harry, his hand placed to the side of the younger man’s head. He looks so sleepy, as if he’s on the threshold of consciousness. Harry actually fears, for a second, that he might suddenly topple over and land right on top of his head. He stays steady though, both in position and gaze.
“You know,” he says slowly, his eyes never leaving Harry’s. “I always thought it was ridiculous when people who play a couple end up becoming one in real life.”
Harry isn’t that shocked. Honestly, he would have been surprised if the opposite were true. Still, he indulges him. “Really? I’ve always thought it romantic.”
“You would,” Louis scoffs, and maybe they both know each other better than Harry thought. Before he can voice the sentiment, though, Louis continues speaking. “I mean, how can you tell how much of it is real? A lot of those relationships don’t last, right? I always thought that they get so caught up in their own characters’ passion that they confuse it for their own. And then when they’re no longer kissing on camera together, they just realize the truth and break up.”
This is not the pillow talk that Harry had expected would come after the events of the night. While the words seemed bitter at first glance, the kind of thing someone who had been burnt in the past would say, there had been no implication in Louis’ tone that that had been what he meant by them. He said it all so clinically, so matter-of-fact, and Harry knows that he isn’t saying this because he has been disenchanted by romance or whatever. It’s just something he believes.
It isn’t fair though. There are loads of couple who have met outside of their job who don’t stay together. Maybe what Louis is saying is true for some people, but not for all. He remembers what Niall said when they met, how surprised the blonde had been that Louis wanted to introduce the two of them. Dating your co-star is the very definition of mixing work with the rest of his life though. Harry should feel honored that he’s the exception, that Louis wants this relationship so much that he’s letting this slide. Still. Still.
“What about now?” Harry asks, his voice too quiet for a room empty sans the two of them. “You don’t think that anymore, right?”
Louis just laughs, his voice light and happy, yet still laced with that layer of tiredness. He leans down and presses his lips against Harry’s, who sighs into it. They’re like that until they both fall asleep with their limbs tangled, pressing gentle kisses into each other’s skin. It is such a peaceful and perfect way to drift off to sleep, but Harry can’t appreciate the moment to its fullest. He doesn’t fail to notice that Louis avoided answering the question.
Harry is awoken by his phone ringing. His first thought is to just ignore it completely and so he does, but it just starts ringing again after a minute of silence. Resigning himself to this fate, he carefully separates himself from Louis to pick his phone up from the floor. There's barely any battery left, and he's probably going to need to ask Louis if he can borrow his charger. He pauses at that; he can borrow stuff from Louis. Louis, who is his boyfriend. He will be borrowing his boyfriend's things. Harry covers his face to stop his happy laughter, and he drops his phone in the process. Cursing, he picks it up and answers it.
"Finally!" Liam says. "I've been calling you for twenty minutes."
The smile drops off of Harry's face. Shit, he completely forgot about Liam. He ditched him last night and didn't even bother to let him know where was going. Liam is a worrywart, he was probably overcome with concern over what had happened to his best friend. Guilt clutches at Harry with a death grip; he is such a shitty friends. "Li, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left like that, I should have told you where I've gone, I—"
"What? You're with Louis," Liam cuts him off, sounding very exasperated. "I kind of figured that after he went after you and the two of you never came back. Very subtle, by the way. Anyway, he texted and told Zayn that you were together."
Oh, well. Harry feels better now.
"What's this about then?" Harry asks, glancing at his phone screen. It's ten past seven, which is way too early to be awake after a night of vigorous activity. "You woke me up."
Liam does not answer right away and that is not a good sign. When he does speak, it's with his manager 'this is very serious' tone. "Harry, I need you to google yourself right now and then call me back immediately. Got it?"
Somehow, without even having to look it up, Harry knows what happened. He says yes anyway and does what Liam said to. The very first result shows him what he's looking for: Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles Caught Kissing? The pictures accompanying the article are blurry, obviously taken from someone's cell phone. Harry instantly knows that it's them, but... None of the pictures show their faces. And they're all of such low quality that it would be extremely easy to argue that whoever took the pictures was mistaken or lied about who's in them. If they play their cards right, they can keep this a secret still.
He directs his gaze over at Louis' sleeping form, at the way he lets out tiny puffs of breath, at the short hairs that curl up at the nape of his neck. He is so lovely, and the very idea that all of this has been threatened when it hasn't even lasted twenty-four hours yet is horrifying. He wonders how Louis will react when he finds out. Will he regret that kiss? That would be the worst, if Louis wakes up and he takes it all back. If that happens then Harry would have preferred if neither of them had confessed. He keeps saying stuff like that though, that he would like it better if something never occurred. But the fact of the matter is that it did happen, and now they are left to face the consequences of those actions.
He calls Liam again. His manager basically just wants to know what Harry's next course of action is. Harry admits that he doesn't know yet, and that he won't know until he discusses it with Louis. He reveals that it is indeed them in the photographs, and more importantly, that they are now a couple. Liam congratulates him, his voice flooding with warmth and joy. Harry doesn't know what he did to deserve such an amazing friend, but he is so thankful for whatever it was. They hang up shortly after, Harry promising him that he'd call again as soon as he knows exactly what is going to happen.
The wait for Louis to wake up is a long one. As it turns out, the guy does not do mornings. He doesn't even begin to stir until it's almost noon. During that time, Harry buys them (and Niall) breakfast, cleans up the hotel room a bit, and ends up watching some Spanish soap opera on the basic hotel cable. Harry is about to find out if Rafael or Francisco is the father of Milagros' baby when Louis suddenly sits up, his eyes still pressed together in tiredness. Harry wants to take a picture of him like that, but he isn't sure if Louis is a fan of impromptu pictures. He'll have to figure that out later... if there is a later after this reveal.
"'Arry?" Louis rasps, slowly opening his eyes. "I'm hungry."
Harry smiles at him. "I brought breakfast. Kinda cold now."
Louis just nods in reply and heads over to the bathroom. Harry listens as he goes through his morning routine, knowing that this is something he can get used to. God, he hopes that Louis won't panic when he finds out. Even though there's a chance that they can still make this work the way they want it to, the idea of them kissing will now be in people's minds. Plus the fact of them being a TV couple won't help matters either. So even if they're able to convince the general public that this is just a case of mistaken identity, they are now way more likely to be revealed than they were before.
Louis drags himself out of the bathroom, now suddenly wearing sweatpants that Harry assumes were lying somewhere in that room. He makes his way to the table where the now cold eggs and bacons are at and he unceremoniously starts eating it. He doesn't bring up whether or not the food is still good, and Harry doesn't ask him. He just watches him eat instead, trying his best not to smile like an idiot at the sight. He is being so sappy over the most mundane things, but he can't help it. Depending on how this upcoming conversation goes, he might not have another morning like this again.
It's Louis who breaks the silence. He suddenly drops his fork to reach over and take Harry's hand in his. His thumb lazily strokes Harry's palm, and the smile that Harry had been battling against makes an appearance. It gets subdued once he sees the serious expression on Louis' face though. Oh no. He must regret what happened. They're going to break up. Harry can sense it coming, and he almost bolts out of the room just to drag on time until the inevitable occurs.
"Your phone call woke me up," Louis says. "About the pictures. I fell back asleep right after, but..."
Harry freezes. For some reason the possibility of Louis overhearing that conversation never even crossed his mind. But if the ringing woke him up, then of course it could have done the same to Louis. He should have stepped outside with his phone or something. Why is he such an idiot? He gulps, "Oh, sorry. I was going to tell you about them."
"I know, I heard that part too," Louis replies, his lips curving upwards. "It's my fault for kissing you out in the open like that. I don't know what I was thinking."
He regrets it. Even though Harry knew this might be the case, it still hurts to get an actual confirmation. He pulls his hand away from Louis and slumps back in his chair, wanting nothing more than just to melt into the floor. While this is admittedly not his shortest lived relationship—that honor goes to when he dated Melissa in kindergarten for seven whole minutes—it's the one that saddens him the most. That's so ridiculous though, he has dated people for years before, and yet he's more upset about this instance than when those ended. He must like Louis a lot more than what he gave himself credit for.
"It's not like I minded," Harry mutters, plotting out his escape route before any more of his feelings get crushed. He already found all of his belongings while Louis slept the morning away so if he wants to grab everything and run it'll be very plausible. "I'm sorry though. None of this would have happened if it weren't for me. We didn't even last a day."
Louis frowns. "We didn't?"
"Yeah. It was great though. I really liked being with you."
"Wait," Louis says, holding placing a finger over his lips in a shushing motion. "Harry, are you breaking up with me?
"I... thought you were going to break up with me?" Harry admits.
"I'm not breaking up with you."
They stare at each other, Harry with his eyes widened in surprise and Louis with an exasperated expression on his face. Harry gets out of his chair and immediately closes the distance between them to connect their lips. Louis laughs into it, and then pulls back so he can pepper Harry's face with kisses, much like what Harry did when they first got together. Harry could do this all day. Yeah, they still have a lot to talk about, like what they're going to do now that the situation has changed. Right now, though, he just wants to concentrate on the fact that they are still okay. He still has his Lou.
The next time Harry goes to the set, he is instantly aware that word has spread throughout the crew. This isn't a surprise; everyone who went to the bar that night would have known that Louis and Harry had left together, so they basically knew that kiss was legit. And everyone knows that the worst kept secret is one that's in the hands of your co-workers. Almost as soon as he arrives there's cat calls being thrown in his direction. Harry blushes, mutters a hello, and heads straight to the costume department.
After a long day of discussion and mutual handjobs, they decided on a simple course of action: They won't make any sort of official announcement for now, but if anyone asks they'll tell the truth. Unless it's a pap or a reporter, Louis had been very firm on that front. Harry isn't sure what's the point of that, but Louis' hatred for how the media treats celebrities is pretty deep so he didn't fight the matter. Honestly, he doesn't really care that much. They are still very much dating and he can openly gush about it to his friends. It's almost too good to be true and he keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It doesn't though. The day is the same as any other, except now whenever he and Louis cross paths they give each other a peck on the lips before hurrying off to do their own thing. It's just so exhilarating to be able to do something like that, knowing that the last time Harry had been in this very place he thought this crush had no way of ever becoming mutual. Honestly, they could make a movie out of their lives. He spends the entire afternoon high off of nothing but his unbidden love for his boy, his joy that they were able to do this despite Louis' reservations.
Love? He pauses at the thought. He doesn't think this is love. They're still in the process of properly getting to know each other, after all, so he can't already be in love with him. Then again, it's not like falling in love with a person without knowing everything about them is a foreign concept. Look at Romeo and Juliet. Which... is a terrible example. Anyway, he decides that he isn't in love with Louis yet. And he knows that isn't exactly how love works, but he can't help but remember the conversation they had before they fell asleep at night. Louis had been so cynical, and it leaves Harry with this sense of foreboding. Even more, it's not like their relationship has transformed into some magical Disney film. Louis is still almost as secretive as he always been, only now Harry is aware of what he does on a daily basis. It's not like he expected Louis to instantly open up and reveal everything to him, but he had been hoping they would be a little closer by now. He truly, desperately, wants to believe that this will all work out fine, but there are still too many loose threads left hanging. He won't be able to stop freaking out about this until they address more of them.
A couple of weeks later, Harry finishes earlier than Louis so he has to wait for him. He has been entertaining the idea of inviting Louis on the Italy trip. Zayn and Niall can come as well, so Liam wouldn't be totally third wheeling, but the thought of being overseas with his boyfriend keeps sending Harry into a spiral of of giddiness. They decide to meet up at a local bakery that is pretty close to where Harry went to high school, so he's been visiting the shop for many years. When he comes in, the person working behind the counter isn't someone he recognizes. Probably a new employee then, he figures as he walks over to her. She starts to give the usual greeting but stops halfway, her mouth hanging open as she realizes exactly whose order she's taking. Harry still isn't exactly used to this kind of reaction even though more and more people have approached him lately. He can't even imagine how many times people like Zayn or Louis must be stopped in a day to get pictures taken. The whole thing is just very surreal to him.
"You're Harry Styles," she says, blushing. "Oh my God, they told me that you might show up one day, but I thought they were messing with me since I'm new."
Harry nods. "Yeah. Can I get a latte and a scone?"
The girl immediately sets to work and Harry watches her go, amused. It's so odd to think that he's the one who is garnering that reaction from people and not someone more famous. She keeps glancing at him while she prepares the drink, and Harry is pretty sure that she's debating whether or not it would be against store policy to ask for a picture with him. He also knows that is is definitely not. He thanks her when she hands over the order and there's this awkward moment where she just sort of stares at him. Harry has no idea what the protocol is for this type of situation. Does he suggest that they take a picture together? Or would that seem too egotistical of him? Maybe she's just shy and doesn't want one at all, and he has let his head grow so big that he just automatically assumes everyone who looks at him for longer than five seconds wants to shake his hand.
"Can I ask you something?" she finally says, and when Harry nods in consent she continues. "Was that really you and Louis kissing?"
In hindsight, Harry should have seen this question coming. Like, what else would people be asking about at this time? He's sort of an idiot. He isn't sure what to say at first, what Louis would approve of, but they did agree to confess to anyone who asks that isn't someone gross. This girl definitely does not fall under the latter category. "Um, yeah. We started dating."
"Cool," she replies brightly, smiling. "I thought so but none of my friends believed it. You make a cute couple."
Harry's face flushes, and he ducks his head down so she won't see. The girl does eventually ask to take a picture with him and he happily obliges before taking his order over to a table in the back. That's another thing he hadn't really considered: What the public thinks of them as a couple. After so long of not caring what others thought about him, now that he is actually attempting to listen to them it's rather difficult. He is pretty sure that there are a lot of people who share Louis' views on the idea of dating someone who is your on screen love interest. What about everyone else? There are the homophobes; Harry has already been getting disgusting tweets sent to him from bigots ever since the Ellandy kiss aired, but he has been able to ignore them. It's one thing to have that commentary thrown at someone you play versus you as a person though. Would people support them? Do they even need their support? He thinks he understands Louis' perspective on this sort of thing a little better; it definitely overcomplicates what would otherwise be a simple relationship.
There is just so much to consider now. What happens when the show ends or if Simon does move their location to LA? The possibility of him moving is still there, but Harry fears that if he does that now it might make him look like a clingy boyfriend. And in the grand scheme of things, that is such a minor worry that Harry isn't even entirely sure why he's considering it. However, just like how he isn't a fan of relocating just for his job, the thought of doing it for someone he's dating is... It's not that he doesn't want to be closer to Louis. He does; he just isn't sure if Louis is as certain about this relationship as he is.
He reaches for his phone to text Louis when he realizes that he does not, in fact have it. He immediately panics, already jumping to the worst possible conclusion that someone stole it and is now currently hacking it in order to uncover his secrets. Or they probably just sold it to a pawn shop. Either way, he is definitely phoneless right now and he needs to get it back. Harry then remembers the last place he is positive he had it in—the cursed room. Harry gets up and, waving goodbye to the girl behind the counter, he leaves the shop and returns to the studio. It might make him a little late in meeting up with Louis, but he’ll have to just deal with it. Maybe they'll run into each other along the way.
When he approaches the room, though, he hears voices coming from the inside. At first he believes he’s just imagining it; he is quite literally the only person who ever goes in there now. Unless someone is using its infamous reputation as a rendezvous of some kind. He snickers at that thought, trying to imagine who might be sneaking around to make out with each other here when everyone else is gone. He doesn’t want to interrupt, but he really needs that phone back. He’s about to knock and give them some time to freshen up when he recognizes the voices. Ben and Simon. Harry’s immediate thought is, oh my god they’re fucking! He then kicks himself for even considering that. They must be using this room to discuss something important; maybe they were on their way out but something came up. Now he wants to interrupt even less than he did before.
“Who does he cheat with?” Ben says, although it’s slightly muffled through the wooden door. Harry unconsciously moves towards the door, interested in this sort of gossip. If there is some sort of scandal that does not involve him or Louis then he wants to know about it.
“Sandra,” Simon replies.
Oh, so they’re just talking about the show then. Apparently Sandra gets caught in some sort of love triangle, that’s predi—wait. Harry freezes. Did they say who is cheating? He suddenly has a very bad feeling about all of this. There aren’t a lot of couples on the show, so the list of possible suspects is not a very large one.
“How does Elliott find out about it? He walks in on them?” Ben asks. “Maybe he walks into Sandra’s apartment to tell her something and he catches them.”
Simon says something else but Harry can’t quite catch it. He doesn’t think he even wants to know what it is. The only thing that’s running through his mind is that not only do they plan on breaking up Elliott and Andy, they want to make it so that Andy is goddamn cheating on him. He feels so sick. He would never do that to Louis. Harry takes a deep breath. No, it’s not like he’s the one who’s cheating; it’s the character he plays. Oh God. They worked so hard to get the two of them together and now this? Louis had been right all along not to trust them. Harry had been so hopeful that this will work out, that the power of true love will overcome dumb and pointless drama. Louis is going to be devasta—no. He is going to be pissed off.
He turns to leave when, suddenly, his phone rings. Simon and Ben both stop talking immediately, and the ringing continues on for what feels like an eternity. Harry figures if he is ever going to get that phone back, now is the best time to get in there. He opens the door and then feigns a surprised face, as if he had no idea that Simon and Ben were in there. Sheepishly, he points over at the phone that’s ringing on top of the couch. The two men don’t say anything; they are probably wondering how long Harry has been out there and how much did he hear.
Harry doesn’t mention the cheating thing though, he just plucks his phone off the seat cushion. One glance at the screen tells him that it was Louis who called, probably wondering where the hell he is. Once it’s back in his possession he waves at them. “Sorry, I just noticed that I left this here. See you later!”
For a moment it seems like Ben is about to stop him, but Simon just shoots him a look that basically says ‘don’t,’ which Harry takes to mean that he fooled him. He hurries out of that room without a second glance and runs outside. Louis is supposed to be at the bakery and he heads over there as fast as he can.
He bursts through the doors, startling an elderly couple standing near it. He bows in apology while scanning the shop until he spots his boyfriend. Louis is staring at his phone, occasionally scrolling down every now and then. There are a couple of people who weren't there earlier looking at Louis and whispering amongst themselves, but he ignores them all. Harry closes the distance between them and raps his knuckles against the table top to get his attention.
“What the fu—oh,” Louis blinks up at him. “Where were you? I thought you would already be here.”
Harry shakes his head. “We should probably have this conversation a little more… privately.”
Louis immediately stands up. Harry casts the counter a longing glance; he really wanted a pastry, but that will just have to wait until another time. Without discussing it, they both begin walking to Harry’s apartment. He loves how in sync they are about these kinds of things, how they’ve gotten so used to each other’s presence that they can just predict what the other will do.
Harry let them inside the apartment and Louis immediately toes off his shoes and settles down on the couch. Harry walks in after him, delaying the inevitable for as much as possible while he slowly takes off his shoes and sets his keys on the table. He picks up an envelope off the floor. Shifts a chair slightly to the left so that it's even when its neighbor. Once the tension in the room becomes too much to ignore, Harry begrudgingly walks over to the couch and sits down next to Louis. He leaves some distance between them, and he hopes that Louis doesn't question the reason why.
"What's going on?" Louis questions once Harry settles down. He looks so tired, like he hasn't gotten enough sleep in days and it's finally weighing down on him. Harry doesn't want to be the one to add onto that stress, but this is definitely something that Louis needs to be warned about before it happens.
"I, um, overheard Ben and Simon talking," he starts, fidgeting slightly. "They were discussing future plot lines for the show."
"And?"
Well, Louis is certainly not making this any easier. Harry bites his lower lip, trying to come up with the best way to deliver the news. No matter what he thinks of, though, he is sure that Louis is going to react badly. He might as well rip the bandaid off then. "They're going to have me cheat on you."
He is answered with silence. Harry quickly adds on, "I mean, Andy is going to cheat on Elliott. I'd never actually cheat on you."
Louis takes a deep breath, closing his eyes in frustration. He just breathes evenly through his nose for a few seconds, and Harry knows that this is it. This is the straw that broke the camel's back. Louis doesn't even say anything, he just stands up and walk to the exit, slipping his shoes back on as he goes. Harry uncertainly follows him, unsure of where this is headed. He would really like to finish this conversation inside where they can't be overheard by anyone, but Louis appears to have other plans. He doesn't even wait for Harry to put his own shoes back on; he just goes through the doorway and starts walking to the complex's exit.
Harry trails behind him, calling out to the actor in an effort to at least get him to slow down. Louis doesn't though, and when he turns a corner Harry suddenly realizes where he's headed. To the studio. Louis plans on confronting them about this. Harry lets out a small shriek of terror and he breaks into a run to catch up with his tiny yet fast boyfriend. Once he reaches him, Harry latches onto his arm and pulls at it. "Louis. Lou, stop. We need to finish talking."
"We will," he says coolly. "With Ben and Simon. Let's go."
Harry has always been envious of how passionate Louis is. It is one of the things that initially drew him to the other actor, how much work and love Louis puts into his craft. At first, he thought that if he spent just a little time around him then maybe it would rub off on him, and he'll be the kind of determined and successful actor that Liam would be proud of. Instead, this happened, although Harry kind of thinks this is the better outcome. There's more kissing involved this way. Still, he knows that passion isn't always a good thing. Louis never backs down from a challenge, but he also isn't fully aware of when he's getting out of hand. There's a difference between stepping away because you give up versus because you understand that it's gone too far. Honestly, that may have been one of the reasons why he hadn't been getting anywhere when he was campaigning for this on his own; he's too aggressive, and Ben and Simon probably thought he was trying to spite them just for the sake of it.
Harry fears for him. Louis has been able to get away with a lot of things because of his status, but even he can't say whatever he wants and not get into trouble for it. And looking at him right now, Harry knows that whatever he plans on doing when he goes back to that studio will be too much. He doesn't want him to get a bad reputation or, worse, lose his job. Even if he's the main character and a large part of the reason this show has been so highly rated, they could still easily fire him.
"I think you need to cool your head a little first," Harry says, forcing Louis to a stop. "I don't want you doing something that you're going to regret."
Louis' eyes flash in anger, and Harry is immediately aware that he said the wrong thing. "Do you just not care about all of this? What? Now that you can fuck me whenever you want, it doesn't matter if Elliott and Andy are together? Jesus, Harry, I'm starting to think that none of this even mattered to you. Did you only go talk to them because you wanted to pretend to date me or something?"
Harry sputters, letting go of Louis' arm. He had expected hostility, but not... this. Is this what Louis really thinks of him? Is this why, even despite the fact that they are a couple, Louis still hasn't fully opened up to him? He has probably been testing him, or something, to see if this relationship will really work out for him. There are tears budding in Harry's eyes and he takes a step back. He can't cry like this, out in the open where anyone can walk by and see. He can't. So, he turns around and runs back to his apartment.
Footsteps follow after him, and he can hear Louis' panicked voice calling out his name, but he ignores it. He lets the front door of the complex slam behind it and he completely forgoes the elevator, opting instead to fly up the stairs. He doesn't hear Louis anymore. He must have given up, and Harry tries not to focus on the fact that the one thing Louis decides to quit while he's ahead on, it's him.
Harry is lying on Liam's bed, his head resting on his friend's lap. It's about four in the morning, and all he has done since he ran away from Louis is mope around at his place until Liam called him and invited him over. Now he's just moping around Liam's. He's being pathetic, like, they barely lasted a couple of weeks before everything went to shit. There is no reason for him to be as melodramatic about this as he's behaving. He knew from the start that there is a large chance that this might not work out, and yet he completely fooled himself into thinking that they'll live happily ever after and start a cat sanctuary somewhere with their piles of money.
"You don't even like cats," Liam says soothingly, petting Harry's head. "Remember? The last time you tried petting one it scratched your eye and you swore vengeance against the entire species?"
Harry huffs indignantly. "That was years ago, Liam! I'm over that. I like cats again."
"It was last week, but whatever you say, H."
Lord, if he can't even keep a stable relationship with cats then how did he ever expect to do the same with Louis? It had been inevitable that things would end up this way. The worst part is that it's not like they'll never see each other again or anything, like what happened with most of Harry's past relationships. No, they work together. Even more, their job includes them playing a couple. Although it seems like that part will no longer be an issue.
He freezes. Wait, what will happen to him after that revelation occurs? Eleanor is still a part of the main cast, so it's not like her position on the show is in jeopardy. Harry's character, from the start, revolved around his friendship with Louis'. So if that is taken away from them, then... there really isn't any point to Andy. Basically, the worst case scenario here is that Harry will be out of a job. He does have a lot of offers though, so he can probably find something else to do in no time. But the idea of no longer being a part of Room 626 is a disheartening one. He doesn't want all of his last interactions with Louis, both real and acted, to be so negative.
Maybe he should talk to the head writers. He has no way of knowing what Louis said to them, but he can at least try. If he managed to convince them once, who's to say that he can't do it again? He doesn't want to make things any worse than they already are though. Hell, perhaps Louis has already gotten them to change their minds and him going in there would just be unneeded. It would be so much easier if he could just ask the guy except... Louis hasn't even attempted to call. If that isn't a sign that they aren't currently on speaking terms, then Harry doesn't know what is.
"Liam," Harry whines. "Give me work to do. Anything. What's on the agenda?"
His manager opens his mouth then promptly closes it. He's probably taken off guard, as Harry never usually willingly asks to be given assignments. He still obliges though. "You're scheduled to be on a radio show this morning at seven. Um, it's just a phone call, you don't have to go in or anything... I was going to tell them you had to cancel though."
Harry sits up and stretches his limbs. "No, don't cancel it. I want to do it. Wanna go for a run until it's time?"
Liam doesn't answer right away, as he most likely rightfully suspects that Harry is just trying to hide from his feelings. He still agrees though and they both get dressed to go out. Harry has to borrow track pants from him, but he left his running shoes here from the last time they did this. Once they're ready, they both leave and start running. They don't go as quickly as they normally do since they have been up all night and the urge to sleep is quietly trudging after them. Harry is just so thankful for Liam and the fact that he's going along with this. About twenty minutes into the run, though, Liam starts talking.
"You really need to talk to Louis about this," he says. "Do you really want to be one of those couples who lets a small misunderstanding wreck their entire relationship?"
Harry grumbles at that. This isn't a small misunderstanding, it's a Godzilla sized one. Liam does have a point though. If they actually just sat down and talked about it, they could probably clear the air. But the image of Louis accusing him of only pretending to care about Ellandy to get close to him keeps swirling around his head. Harry has never pretended to be as invested in it as Louis is. And yeah, he mostly did it because he wanted Louis to be happy. It had never just been some way to get into Louis' pants though. The very fact that Louis apparently thinks that lowly of him both enrages him and breaks his heart.
"What's even the point? We barely know anything about each other," Harry argues. "It was stupid of us to even try dating in the first place."
"You don't have to be someone's closest friend in order to start going out with them," Liam pants, slowing down to a stop. "I think you just had this idea in your head that getting together would be your, like, finale or whatever. That all the hard stuff will happen before, and then once you're officially boyfriends it'll be smooth sailing and everything will solve itself. Maybe for some people that's how it is. But sometimes it's the other way around, you know? And there's nothing wrong with that. You can start dating someone you really like but don't know much about because then you get to learn about them."
When Harry doesn't respond, Liam just keeps on going. "You obviously thought that Louis would instantly open up to you as soon as you started dating. You have to remember that this is a guy who is very selective about who he lets gets close to him, and I have a feeling that he probably hasn't had someone new enter that circle in a long time. So you have to give him some time to be able to get comfortable with this. But he's not completely off the hook either. He did agree to a commitment with you, so he should be the one telling you all of this and not me. He should have been upfront from the start that it was going to take time."
"Have you been talking to him or something?"
Liam shakes his head. "No. Uh, Zayn talked to me about it when we went to the King's Head that one time. He didn't say anything specific or private, just that he really hoped you and Louis hit it off so he could lighten up a little more. The rest I figured out by watching you be an idiot."
Harry shoves him gently in retaliation, and they both start running again. Liam's right. Harry had been so focused on all the negative parts, so certain that it was too good to be true and that it would all fall apart, that he didn't even think of it as a new beginning. He and Louis clearly entered this relationship with different ideas on how it would go down because they didn't talk enough about it. Maybe they did rush into it a little quickly, but they're young and full of life and dreams, and isn't that what young people do? They shouldn't let something like that hinder them, but use it as an opportunity to grow around and with each other.
"Li," Harry bumps his shoulder against Liam's, smiling softly. "Thanks. I needed this."
They finish their run and (after a vicious game of rock, paper, scissors to figure out who gets to shower first) they return to Liam's apartment. There's still about two hours left until Harry has to call in to the station, so after they both freshen up they take turns napping. He's both physically and mentally exhausted, but Harry thinks he's ready for this. There is a high chance he's going to be asked about his relationship with Louis, Liam had told him, and Harry already knows exactly what he needs to say. He hopes it'll be a small step in the right direction.
When seven rolls by, Harry dials the number to the station and is immediately greeted by the host, a man named Scott. If this was under a normal circumstance, Harry would be completely freaking out over the chance to do this. Now, though, all of his excitement has been replaced by a quiet sense of duty to fix what's left of his relationship with Louis.
"Harry Styles!" Scott greets him once he's on air. "Good morning, sorry for making you wake up so early."
Harry laughs. "Actually, I haven't slept at all. I'm probably going to pass out as soon as we hang up."
"That excited to talk to me?" the radio host jokes. He jumps into questions about the show and if Harry has any plans for the future. Harry answers them all like he usually does, mentioning that he might be appearing in a couple of other things in the near future. It's the type of interview that he has gotten used to, but he knows that there is going to be a major difference soon. He can already feel the conversation drifting towards the question.
"So," Scott says in a sly tone. "You and Louis. Anything happening there?"
Liam's eyes widen at the question, but Harry just moves the phone away from his face so he can whisper to his friend. "Don't worry, I got this."
To the phone he says, "I really admire Louis. He's like this incredible person who does so much good in this industry. I'm so grateful that I was given this opportunity to work with him, and I hope that this relationship will last a long time."
"He sounds great," Scott replies, sounding amused. "Did you kiss though? That picture did look a lot like you, and there are reports of people saying you admitted it to them."
Harry chuckles lightly, adjusting his hold on his iPhone. Scott went straight to the point then, God bless him. "I think regardless of what I say, people are going to say it's us. It's almost impossible to change media's perception of you once they settle on a particular image, you know? I guess what I want to say is, I don't want people to focus on those photographs, which is what anyone in my position would probably say. I just think it's unfair to Louis for his talent to be ignored in favor of what potential love interest he may or may not have. He deserves better than that."
"You sure are dedicated to him," the radio host points out. "Wouldn't it be unfair to you too?"
"Me? I'm still practically a nobody compared to him. This is probably helping my career instead of hurting it. I just... I want him to be happy. He's been really nice and helpful to me since we met, and I want to repay him."
The topic changes again from there; Scott probably realized that he isn't going to get anything more on that subject. They chat about random things for a while, and Scott invites him to actually come into the studio one day. Harry agrees, and when he hangs up he feels better about things. He didn't get to say what he truly wanted because of his promise not to reveal that they are—or were?—dating to the media. If anything, people are going to think that he has a great big crush on Louis. He's oddly okay with that. It's weird, since before he was terrified of the fact that someone might notice.
Anyway. There's still a lot to do, but first he is going to cash in on that nap. Before he can even make his way back to Liam's bed though, his phone starts ringing. He initially thinks it might be the radio station calling him back for whatever reason, but no. It's Louis. Harry practically shoves his phone in Liam's face, frantically pointing at the screen for his friend to see. Liam gasps, and Harry would find that reaction comical if he wasn't about to have an anxiety attack over this. Talking to Louis had been a part of his plan, he just did not expect it to happen before he got some sleep. He is way too tired to do this now, but he accepts the call anyway. Liam quietly goes to his bedroom in order to give Harry some privacy. Great.
He clears his throat before speaking. "Hello?"
"You were just on the radio," Louis says. "If I didn't know better then I would think you have feelings for me, Harold."
Harry settles down on the couch and begins tugging at a close seam on one of the decorative pillows. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Um. So, how did talking to Ben and Simon go?"
There's a rustling sound on the other line, and Harry can imagine Louis shifting on his bed. He can even picture the large comforter draping over his lap as he sits up to properly speak with him. He snaps out of it before he gets lost in the image of something he might not be allowed to see again. Louis doesn't sound angry anymore, but... Harry just can't shake away how their last conversation made him feel. If Louis gives them a chance, though, they can work through it.
"I didn't go," Louis admits. "I ran after you, but after you went inside the building I stopped and went to the studio. I was almost there and I just... couldn't go through with it? I don't know why. So I just went home, and then Zayn woke me up this morning and told me to listen to the radio. And then I knew why I couldn't."
Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. Harry almost ignores it, but then he decides that being rude to Liam's potential guests in favor of his own life changing moment isn't the best move. He tells Louis to hang on for a moment and drags his feet to the entrance. When he opens the door, he squeaks and slams it shut out of reflex. A few seconds pass before he reopens the door to reveal Louis. In hindsight, Harry should have seen this coming from a mile away. Sue him, he has never been too genre savvy.
"I should have never said those things to you," Louis continues, pocketing his phone as he goes through the threshold. He doesn't appear to be too bothered at having a door shut in his face. Maybe he expected it. "I know that wasn't the reason you did any of that. Harry, please forgive me, I'm such a gigantic dick, I'm sorry."
Harry doesn't even bother putting his cell away. He just drops it and launches himself into Louis' arms, yelling out random obscenities that don't really match with how tightly he's hugging him. It isn't until he literally has his legs wrapped around the other actor's thighs that he remembers that this might not be okay anymore. Also, Louis is really struggling to withstand his weight, so Harry carefully gets down. He smiles bashfully at Louis, who thankfully returns it.
"Are we still okay?" Louis asks, his voice hopeful. "I understand if you don't want to be my boyfriend anymore, but... are we still friends?"
Harry almost laughs at the absurdity of the question, as if he didn't just practically tackle Louis to the ground in joy. "Oh, Lou. I still want to be friends. And your boyfriend, if that's alright with you. We just, um. We should figure this all out though. Talk and stuff. Because so much stuff happened at once, from those pictures to this Ellandy thing, and we really need to just... I don't know. See where we are first, you know?"
Louis nods, hooking their hands together. He looks so tiny and warm, and all Harry wants to do is scoop him up and coddle him. They need to find out what they're going to do about all of this though. And once they're finally, finally, on the same page, they can go talk to the writers. Imagine, if they can do spectacular things on their own, then what kind of unstoppable force will they be together? Even if Elliott and Andy aren't true love, and if they do go their separate ways down the road, Harry wants it to be on good terms. He doesn't want unneeded negativity thrown into their lives that casts one as a horrible person just because Hollywood thinks dark and gritty is the only thing that can save the industry. No, he wants bright things, full of love and endless possibility, lighting up the way.
He might be a little in love with Louis Tomlinson.
And now they can discover what that means.
