Archive of Our Own

Flashlamp

Blinding Merchant

When you need some illegal tech on the fly, or are looking for a connection to the Gaean Underground, Flashlamp has the goods if you have the money (and maybe a little extra). Just don't speak ill of DL-4316, his Ion Titan AI companion, unless you want to get familiar with a laser. Polite, laid-back, and easily intrigued by tech, Tommy Buchanan can fix up your scooter or tell you the basics of corporate sabotage - for a price.

Making a living on Gaea as Hammond engineers, the Wilcoxen family had to go into hiding after blowing the whistle on the company's ecological misdeeds. Tommy changed his surname to Buchanan and made a living in the Gaean Underground at a young age, using his parents' expertise to repair and sell old junk. Eventually he would break into black market deals with forbidden tech, usually consisting of products outlawed by large corporations seeking to retain consumers. While perusing a competitor's stock, Tommy stumbled upon a disabled AI core from an Ion Titan and reactivated it. DL-4316 came back to life and sought answers: how had he been deactivated, where was his body, and, most of all, where was his IMC Pilot, Marilyn? Tommy and DL then struck a deal to carve a future without Hammond and find the pieces of the AI's past, a deal that has led them both to the Apex Games.

Name: Tommy Buchanan and DL-4316

Age: 34

Homeworld: Gaea

Height: Average hitbox size

Number of eyebrows for DL: 15 (including cat ears)

Passive: Good Deal. 30% off crafting prices and can craft any hopup at a replicator, but at 20% increased price.

Tactical: Flash Beam. DL fires a beam with a slight delay and non-damaging warning laser. If it connects, the enemy takes 10 damage and shows a faint after image on their sight for 2 seconds.

Ultimate: Ion It. DL raises high and fires a bright flash of light around him, blurring the vision of friend and foe alike for 2 seconds if Flashlamp is on screen when the ability goes off.

CHARACTER SELECT

• T- "Now, don'tchu worry, I'm still just one man. DL's more of a parrot than a fighter." DL - "SQUAWK."
• "I'll come out on top of this, Lord willin' and the creek don't rise."
• "Ain't nothin' like a glass of sweet tea and a little bit of corporate sabotage, right?"
• DL- "Control transferring to Tommy. Power supply ready."
• DL - "My systems are yours, we are more powerful as a team."
• DL - "In the spirit of fairness, I have promised not to laser you while in the dropship."
• T- "DL and I aim to win." DL- "I do not miss."
• "Old tech, new tech, red tech, blue tech, it's all a payday to me."
• "I ain't made o' gold, just muscle, blood, and sinew. And whatever's in DL here."
• DL - "Your eyes will see the glory of the shining of my beam."
• DL - "I have crushed Pilots beneath my feet. I miss those feet."
• DL - "Tommy will cut you down, like a battle blender." T- "Patent pending."
• "Put on yer dancin' boots, it's time for a hoedown."
• "Between you and me, we'd all make a great impromptu army."
• "Yer best bet is to keep yer guns clean and get yer hands dirty."
• DL - "Stare into my eye and you will see the future." T- "NO, DON'T DO THAT."
• DL - "Scanning - Impending violence detected."
• DL - "Tommy is ready. Are you?"
• "Anyone have a charging cable? DL needs it."
• "Tech, revolution, victory? Everything comes at a cost."

INTRO

• [Rare] "Better bring yer best: DL's watchin' and he's hard to please."
• [Rare] DL - "Are you prepared to fight better than the Pilots I have felled?"
• [Rare] "If it ain't too much trouble, go ahead and drop out."
• [Rare] "If you lose, I can hook you up with a better kit. If y'ain't dead, that is."
• [Rare] T- "Smile for the murderous camera!" DL - "Give me your teeth."
• "If you know a guy who knows a guy: I'm the guy… w-... the second one."
• [laughter while trying to keep it together] "Heh… heheh wh-eheh. What- ha! What're ya buyin'?"
• "I'm just a good ol' boy, don't mean no harm… okay, maybe a lil harm."
• "I promise not to sell your loot for cheap."
• DL - "I gaze upon the competition, and all I see are [BEEP]-es."
• DL - "Deleting following files: mercy.exe, pity.exe, juggling.exe."
• *sniff* "Smell that? That's a host of bad decisions y'all're about to make."
• DL - "Keep staring. I want you to look."
• "Y'all're gonna have to wear sunglasses if you wanna stand a chance."
• [Singing] "Way down, way down, at the bottom you'll be…"
• "We've scratched our way out the gutter. No one belongs there."
• "Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair."
• "Lordamighty, you folks look like you could use an attitude adjustment."
• DL - "Stay out of our way, or I will pretend to step on you."
• DL - "You're all toast. And I know toast very well."
• DL - "You may need luck. I only need precision."

KILL

• "Hey, don't you get actin' above yer raisin' now."
• "Aw, bless your heart, honey."
• "You doin' okay? You look like death warmed over."
• "Lord help, this'n's dead."
• "I spend a lotta time in the Underground, and I know a loss when I see one."
• "I'm guessing there weren't enough of you to go around."
• "That's battle for ye: quick as a rabbit, meaner'n a Psamathe hornet."
• "Reckon I could get a good deal on yer stuff. Might even fake yer autograph."
• "I'd say you're finger lickin' gone."
• T- "DL, stop takin' pictures of the enemy." DL - "Their failure must be documented."
• DL - "You are dead and I am alive… I think. Depends on how you define it."
• "You wouldn't last 2 minutes in the Underground."
• "Well gloom, despair, and agony on me. I thought you'd be more fun to fight."
• "Don't you come back now, y'hear?"
• DL - "If I knew pity, I would supply you with it."
• DL - "I'm so glad you lost."
• DL - "Weak and pathetic. I shall call you 'Militia'."
• DL - "When I was a vacuum cleaner, I ate dust, and yet you are somehow less delicious."
• DL - "Would that I had my Splitter Rifle, so I could have faster ended your hopeless flailing."
• DL - "I shall now engage in trash talk: you are garbage."
• "You lost to little ol' me? I expected better."
• "In the Underground, we got a word for people like you: dead."
• "I'm not angry, just disappointed."
• "Hey, you gave it a good shot, which ain't sayin' much since yer aim's bad."
• "Ain't no accolades for second best lemonade."
• "Yer biscuit's done been burnt, and yer reputation's rurnt."
• "Call me a dreamer, but some day we'll sit on smoldering corporate ruins and laugh about this."
• "Hauled off and made a big show just to fall back down again. I know the feelin'."
• "You got a bad deal, friend. No refunds, though."
• "Ain't no use tryin' so hard. You was gonna end up here anyway."
• DL - "Tommy, get me my happy eyebrows so I may better laugh at their pain."
• T- "DL says 'hi'." DL - "Incorrect. I said 'die'." T - "Ah, they're interchangeable."
• DL - "I would give you a hand, but I am fresh out."
• DL - "Calculating levels of enjoyment following your demise… Excessive."
• DL - "Statistically speaking, you would never survive."
• DL - "My father was a flashlight. Your creators must be even bigger disappointments than you."
• "Ye done gone and got gotten."
• "This is almost as ugly as the time DL 'connected' with my router."
• "Shoot, I'm not sure even I could talk up that performance."
• "Let this be a message for those at the top: you're next."
• "It was me or you, and I can't go. I owe my soul to the company store."

GAMEPLAY

Jumpmaster

• "I'm Jumpmaster? DL, play my 'Fallin' to my Death' playlist."
• "Jumpmaster time for ol' Tommy. Take a swig while ye still can."
• "I'm the Jumpmaster. Don't worry, I made sure these were real jump kits."

Dropping as Jumpmaster

• "Git on in there and fight, y'all!"
• "Yinz better do better than my last squad!"

In the Firing Range: "Hey there Trainin' Dummy! Please don't gain sentience and try to remove my spine."

After activating training dummy Easter egg: "DL, PROTECT MUH SPINE."

Opening fire on the enemy

• "Takin' a shot."
• DL- "Opening fire."

Hit an enemy from afar: "DL- Longshot successful."

Downed an enemy

• DL- "Enemy got lasered."
• "Enemy down, point and laugh at em."

Consecutively downed another enemy: "Knocked another'n."

Enemy killed: 

• "Enemy removed from stock."
• DL - "Target destroyed. Impressive shot."

Whole squad down

• "That's the whole squad. Must've been trained on a discount."
• "Took out that whole team. Kinda wish't they'd tried a lil more."
• "That's a dead squad right there. Might get a good price on their stuff."
• DL - "That squad has died, cut down like so many grunts before."
• (Solo) "Shoot fire (pronounced 'far'), I done took out the whole squad!"
• (Solo) DL- "Full squad dispatched by one fighter. You may be Pilot-material after all."

Another squad

• "Uh-oh, that's a third party's what that is."
• DL - "Additional squad incoming. I will watch them fall."

Taking damage

• "Yeowch, I'm gettin' shot!"
• DL- "Damage incurred. Vengeance loading."
• "Ack, gettin' whooped over here!"
• DL - "We have been damaged. Oh. The pain."

I'm down

• "I have fallen and I cannot git up. Do me a solid?"
•  "Dadgumit, done got knocked."

Successful Self-Revive

• "Hallelujah! I'm back y'all!"
• "Ain't no grave - or death box - gonna keep me down."
• "Not yet. I still got chains to break."
• "No. Not until I've buried them."

Throwing ordinance

• Thermite
• Thermite goin' out.
• Thermite time!
• Arc Star
• Ninjy Arc Star goin' out!
• Flingin' an Arc Star!
• Frag Grenade
• Frag's out the bag!
• Frag grenade's flyin' out! 

Incoming grenade

• Grenade! GET DOWN!
• NADE'S COMIN' IN!

Reviving

• "How's about I gitchye back up and you go back to fightin'?"
• "Dang, they gotchu good, didn't they?"
• "Chariot ain't swingin' low for you just yet."
• "Cut you a deal: I pick you up, you buy a little somethin'."
• "DL would help, but he's a little shorthanded."
• DL - "Falling is best done by Titans, and in a much different context."
• To Rampart "Hey, I'll even help you out pro bono this time."
• To Rampart "Nuh-uh. If you go out, my gun rack's gonna be a lot less purty."
• To Loba "Miss Andrade, I'd hate to lose such a good business partner."
• To Loba "I told you not to haggle too much, and now look what's happened."
• To Crypto "You and me's got too much at stake to give up now."
• To Crypto "Ain't no way I'm gonna let you get stopped."
• To Bloodhound "They'll pay. Every last one of em, and I won't let you miss it."
• To Bloodhound "Your hunt ain't done, Bloth. The people will no longer be prey."

Healing up/recharging shields/phoenix kit

• "Puttin' my body back together."
• "Healin' up. What's even in this thing?"
• "Curin' what ails me, which is mostly shrapnel."
• DL - "Receiving Battery."
• DL - "Shields regaining energy."
• DL - "Provide cover, Tommy is healing."
• DL - "Healing, because Tommy did not dodge bullets."
• "Usin' a Phoenix Kit. Seriously, WHAT IS IN THIS?"
• "Time for a Phoenix Kit. Feels weird."

Let's recover their banner: "Get ahold of that banner!"

Teammate banner recovered: "Banner in hand. You don't get out that easy."

Respawned

• "Phew, hope they put my bones back in the right places."
• DL - "Prepare for Legendfall… It's not the same."
• DL - "I already died once before the games. I would not recommend it."
• "You can't pull a fast one on ol' Tommy."

Teammate gets a kill

• "Nice one! I know good value when I see it."
• "You beat em good! Ain't bright to go agin' ya."

Team Scattered: "I know DL can be a bit much, but do we really need to be scattered like this?"

Teammate killed

• "They got killt, but that ain't gonna stop us."
• DL - "Squadmate perished. Punish their killer."

Entering Trident (driver)

• "Hop on! And if you saw me put somethin' in the tank: you didn't."
• "Hey there, Trident! Ima call you Dale."
• "Legends: START YER ENGINES."

Entering Trident (passenger) 

• "Now's actually a good time for some road rage."
• "If you like this thing, I might be able to hook you up."

Exiting Trident 

• "Let's park 'is thing rightchere."

Deploying Mobile Respawn Beacon: "Callin' down a Mobile Respawn. Say, could this maybe work outside the Games? Just wonderin'."

Crafting:

• "Craftin' and probably breakin' the laws of physics."
• DL - "Tommy is crafting. Hopefully it's a body for me."

RING STATUS

Far Ring

• "Next ring's a ways out. Kick it in gear, y'all."

One Minute Before Ring Closure

• "Only a minute left. Close yer deals and get some wheels."

45 Seconds

• "45 seconds on this ring, and then a lot more's gonna get cooked."

30 Seconds

• "Half a minute, folks. Ain't time to mosey."

10 Seconds

• "10 seconds! Come on, you don't need it that bad."

Inside the Next Ring

• "Already in the next ring? Which one of us prophesied?"
• "We're in the next ring. That's a load off my shoulders, 'cept for DL since he's attached."
• DL - "We are already in the next ring. Combat is easier when you are not burning."
• (Solo) T- "Already in the next ring, and it's just you and me, DL." DL - "Perhaps now you regret not giving me hands."

Outside the Ring

• "Ring's comin' and I burn easy. Let's roll."
• DL - "The ring is advancing, and so should we. But away from it."
• DL - "As much as I love a good laser grid, the ring is coming and will spare no one."

PINGS

Pinging Location in Dropship:

• "We could ramble o'er yonder."
• "Let's do a little business here."
• DL - "This location requires your feet."

Pinging Location:  

• "Let's take a gander over there."
• DL - "Go to this location. I am trustworthy."
• "How's about this spot?"
• "You're gonna wanna go here."

Cancelled Ping:

• "My bad. Ignore that last part."
• DL - "Disregard last callout."

Defending over here: 

• "Holdin' it down here."
• "Hunker down in this spot."
• DL - "Create a defensive position here."

Attacking here:

• "Gonna give em a whoopin' o'er here."
• DL - "Attack here, I'll even point it out for you."
• "Time to fill my stock: attackin' here."
• DL - "Engaging the enemy. Trample their ashes."

Watching here:

• "Lookihere."
• DL - "Focusing my gaze here."
• DL - "Turning my eye upon this position."

Location compromised: 

• "Someone's done been messin' around here."
• "Someone's been here. Open yer eyes."
• "Enemies been here. Might still be stompin' about."
• DL - "Enemies have tread here. I wish to say 'hello.' And 'die.'"

Looting over here:

• "My pockets need lining. Lootin' here."
• "Allocatin' resources rightchere."
• DL - "Tommy will loot here, with his hands."
• "Lootin' here. Ease up, I won't charge this time."

Enemy:

• "Fresh targets, dead ahead."
• DL- "Enemy located. Kill 'em."
• DL- "Targets within my vision."
• "Hot dang, that's an enemy!"
• "Got an enemy. Go on now, git!"
• DL - "Target sighted in the distance."
• "Got an enemy. Cut em down!"
• DL - "Enemy spotted. Make them regret."
• DL - "Enemy there. Help them die."
• "Locked on an enemy."
• "Fount a troublemaker."
• "*whistles* Done seen an enemy."

Enemy taking off with Skyward Dive: 

• "That enemy's launchin'. PULL!"
• "Enemy's gonna launch. Grab 'em!"

Enemy Black Hole

• "Enemy black hole! Hold onto anythin' 'cept me!"
• "Enemy black hole! What the devil?"

Loot MRVN arm attached: "Fixed the MRVN. Wonder what happens if you do that to Fitzroy?"

Dibs: "I'll take it."

Okay: "Shootchyeah."

I'll join/me too: "You betcha."

Help/bleeding out:

•  "Help, be my hero!"
• DL - "Critical damage. Assist Tommy."

Coming to help: "I'm comin', I'm comin'."

Ultimate (Ion It)

• 0-84% charged 
• "Ultimate ain't quite there. DL needs a bit."
• "Ultimate's not ready yet. I'll tell ye when."
• DL - "Ultimate ability still charging. My eye is still cold."
• 85-99% charged 
• "Hold onto yer britches. Ultimate's almost there."
• DL - "Ultimate nears preparation. My eye grows warm."
• 100% ready
• "Ultimate's rarin' to go. I think I hear DL growlin'."
• DL - "Ultimate ability is charged. Your eyes will be terminated."

Helmet: "Helmet here. Can I get a smaller one for DL?"

Charge Rifle - DL: "Charge Rifle here. Hello there, gorgeous."

Thermite - DL: "Thermite grenade here: spicy."

Care Package:

• "See that Care Package? Prolly has some pricy items in it."
• "Care Package here. You'd think it'd carry more, given the size."

Death Box:

• "Death box here. Put in a prayer request."
• "Death box here. I could use an inventory boost."

Respawn Dropship:

• "Respawn Dropship in the clouds. Shoulda stayed gone."

Extended Supply Bin:

• [Opened, but secret compartment closed] "Extended Supply Bin. Still got some nuggets in it, though."

Survey Beacon: "Survey Beacon here. See what's in the holler."

Trident: "Trident here. Ain't got wheels, but it'll roll."

Pathfinder's Statue: T- "Nice statue! Maybe they'll make one of us back home." DL - "That isn''t very incognito." T- " Yes, I know that ."

Phase Runner: "Let's take the Phase Runner… hopefully it won't switch up our limbs."

Gravity Cannon: "Gravity cannon here. Like gettin' turned into God's softball."

QUIPS

Nice/Celebration:

• "Mighty fine, mighty fine."
• DL - "Congratulations are in order: woo."

Thanks 

• "Thankee kindly."
• "Much obliged."
• To Mirage: "Thankee kindly. Hey, if you're ever lookin' to sell that Holo rig, I know a guy whose name rhymes with Bommy Bubannon."
• [Mirage Response]: "You're welcome… but the gear stays on Mirage. Except when I take it off for showers and stuff… I do that a lot, too."
• To Mirage: "Thanks, man. By the way, you ever consider sellin' that rig? I know some buyers who would kill for it… literally."
• [Mirage Response]: "Oh, uh, you're welcome, and I'm not… not that I'm not welcome, because I'm welcome lots of places, but I'm not interested, is what I mean."
• To Revenant: "Thanks, old man. If you ever need a little extra cash, there's this cult I know that really likes your shells."
• [Revenant Response]: "Hhhhhh, a cult? Not another one. Maybe if I tell them to sacrifice themselves it'll work like last time."
• To Revenant: "Thanks, buddy. Didn't someone hire you to try to kill me once't?"
• [Revenant Response]: "Keep talking and I'll hire myself to finish you off."

You're welcome

• "Anytime."
• DL - "Appreciation notated."
• [Thanks from Loba] "Thank you. You'll always have my business, even if you price gouge."
• [To Loba] "Hey, I've gotta keep my 'Don't get killed by corporate assassins' fund up."
• [Thanks from Loba] "Thank you. You have almost as good an eye for value as I do. Almost."
• [To Loba] "Comin' from an Andrade, that's high praise in my book."
• [Thanks from Pathfinder] "Thank you, friend and smaller shoulder friend!"
• [To Pathfinder] DL: "I once weighed 28 tons and am now considered 'small'. What has my life become?"
• [Thanks from Pathfinder] "Thank you, friends. When I find my Pathfinder Jr., they should go on a date with DL."
• [To Pathfinder] T- "DL isn't that good on first dates." DL - "If only I had lips to kiss with. Then I would be a gentle lover."

ABILITIES

Using Flash Beam

• "Say cheese!"
• DL - "Firing beam."
• "Firin' a Flash Beam."
• DL - "ZAP."
• "Go for the eyes!"
• DL - "Applying power to offensive capabilities."
• "Usin' Flash Beam."
• DL - "Flash Beam engaging."

Using Ion It

• "Cover your eyes! Time to Blind!"
• DL - "Protect your optics: maximizing light output."
• "Time for a face full o' shine!"
• DL - "Ultimate firing: destroying enemy retinas."
• "SOLAR FLARE!"
• DL - "I will blind them with science."

Incoming Rolling Thunder / Defensive Bombardment: "IS THAT AN AIRSTRIKE? WHAT IN THE BLAZES?"

Silenced

• "Abilities are rurnt."
• "Can't use my dang abilities!"
• DL - "Abilities disabled. Sadness."

Recalled back to Death Totem: "Back at the totem - ugh - gave me a quantummy-ache."

Hit by Drone EMP: DL - "Hit by EMP. Not again ."

BATTLE ROYALE STATUS

First Blood: "That's first blood. Probably purty messy."

New kill leader appointed

• "New kill leader on the board. Won't do em any good if they can't see straight."
• DL - "A new kill leader emerges. They will die the same as the others."

Appointed kill leader

• "Yeeeeaaahhhh, it's kill leader time, baby!"
• DL - "Tommy has become kill leader. Celebrate his bloodshed."

Teammate is Kill leader: "Lordamercy, you're the kill leader? I oughta drop your name once't in a while." 

Kill Leader eliminated: "Kill leader's been dropped like a sack o' taters."

Champion Eliminated

• "Champion done got chopped."
• [By your squad] "We just beat the tar outta that champion!"

Half the squads remain

• "Half the squads are done for, and that's the only time you'll hear me mention 'half off'."
• "Half the squads got dropped, but we're still here, ain't we?"

Two enemy squads left: "Only two more squads. One for me and one for DL."

One squad left: "Now just one squad left. Let's clear the stock."

ARENAS STATUS

Round 1 Prep

• "Make good choices. Wanna spend big or be frugal?"
• DL - "Prepare for battle. Be quick like a blender and hot like a toaster."
• "Let's show em what we're made of… which is mostly flesh and metal."

Match Point Prep - Winning

• "Match point y'all. You've done me right proud, so let's bring it home."
• DL - "Match point. Bring their demise and I will sing you a song from my days as a stereo."
• "Match's almost done. Let's seal the deal."

Match Point Prep - Losing

• "This ain't the worst I've seen. We can still whoop em."
• DL - "The enemy nears victory. We must remain focused."

LOBBY

Map

Switching to Storm Point: "Oh, back to Storm Point? Always wanted to see the tropics back home."

Ranked Leagues

New Ranked Season

• "A new ranked season. Time to boost my numbers."
• "New ranked season. Let's go for the gold… or more than that."

New Split: "New ranked split. New scenery, same bloodshed."

Rank up

• "Goin' up the ranks. Reckon I oughta celebrate."
• DL - "Rank increased. We are allowed a little renown, as a treat."

Rank down

• "Ranked down. I done spent enough time at the bottom."
• "There goes a rank. Least I still have a day job."
• DL - "Ranked down. I cannot feel pain, but this does hurt."

Silver

• "Silver ain't too bad."
• "Hit Silver, eh? Reckon it's just the start."

Gold

• "Got to Gold, but you'll never have enough."
• DL - "Tommy has reached Gold. Applaud him or else."

Platinum

• "Bout time I got to Platinum."
• "Platinum. Might just make enough to bring back home."

Diamond

• "Phew, workin' in Diamond now! High dollar from the holler."
• DL - "Diamond reached. How beautifully it refracts, how awfully it destroys."

Masters

• "THAT'S MASTERS RIGHT THERE! I'd dance if I could!"
• "Masters rank! Can't nobody stop us!"

Apex Predator: "A- Apex Predator. I… this is a sign, Dad. We're gonna make it. You 're gonna make it."