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Connor loved everything about you. Everything you did, said, and thought made him fall deeper in love with you. Your presence alone gave him reason to keep working, keep fighting for everything he thought was right. He would never tell you this though, as he had never felt these emotions before and was convinced you would be repulsed by his intensity.
The one thing about you that Connor found irritating was your self deprecation. Whenever he expressed his dislike of it you played it off as a joke, a coping mechanism through humour. Any time you would make a mistake on a case report, or burn your coffee, or trip over nothing, you would call your self stupid, or that you hate yourself. Connor never understood the reasoning behind your words, as in his eyes you were the epitome of humanity.
What hurt him most was when you claimed you wanted to end your life. Every now and then you would yell, “I’m going to kill myself!” out of frustration. It broke his heart each time he heard you say it. The thought that the world had failed you to the point of you taking your own life terrified him more than anything ever had before. The first time you said it, he nearly fell to his knees in fear.
It made him even more upset that he had gotten used to you saying it.
Slowly, he learned to understand that it was never serious, and was simply a way of expressing emotions that were building up inside you.
Before they exploded.
~~~~~
Connor said goodnight to Hank as the elderly detective stumbled out of the bullpen, somehow already drunk.
He shook his head and smiled lightly, before scanning the room for you.
Your mood had been down all day, he could tell that without even having to ask you. He had tried to cheer you up, telling lighthearted jokes and buying you lunch, but something was weighing on your mind, something he couldn’t figure out.
Connor quickly stood up and checked around the precinct, becoming worried. Had you gone home already? No, you would’ve said goodnight to him and he would’ve seen you leave. Panic began rising in his chest, an unfamiliar and very unwelcome feeling.
Connor began checking every room in the precinct, scanning for any sign of life and bolting out to check the next one. When his mind finally caught up to him, he leant against a wall and took a breath. He called your phone and listened carefully for your ringer.
He cautiously walked down each hallway, repeatedly calling you, each time getting no answer. As he tried to reconstruct how you would have left the precinct unnoticed, he finally heard your phone buzzing from what appeared to be an old filing room.
Nearly knocking the door down, Connor burst into the dark room, kicking up dust as he did.
He called you once again, and saw your phone screen light up in the back corner of the room.
“Y/n? Wha- what are you doing in here?”
A sharp gasp followed by the sound of something hitting the concrete floor filled the room.
Connor stepped around the piles of boxes that littered the room, and finally saw you.
Your eyes were bloodshot and puffy, with tears still rolling down your cheeks. You had a hand pressed over your mouth, trying to stifle the soft sobs that had threatened to give your location away. Your knees were held tightly to your chest, like you were trying to fold in on yourself, or fade into the wall. The thing that alarmed Connor the most though, was the gun that had fallen at your feet. It didn’t take a genius like Connor to figure out what he had interrupted.
“I- I’m sorry I didn’t think- I didn’t realise you were still here.” You quickly straightened yourself up, trying to look presentable to the shell shocked android.
Connors LED glowed blood red, rotating quicker than you had ever seen it. He blinked hard, staring holes into your head.
“Connor? Are you okay?”
“Am… Am I ok? Y/n, you…” Connor slowly lowered himself to your level, “why?”
Emotion overwhelmed you once again, and a sob rippled through your body. You tried to speak, but only whimpers came out as you began to cry harder.
“No, no, no, Love, come here,” Connor sat down across from you and gently pulled you into his lap, tucking your head under his chin and stroking your hair. You clung to his jacket and sobbed until soft whimpers and Connors quiet whispers were the only thing that could be heard.
“I’m sorry, Connor. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”
“What? Y/n, I love you, and I will do everything in my power to make this better. I don’t care how long it takes, or how hard it is, but I will stay with you until everything is alright again. I will make sure you are always safe and cared for, even if the only time I can guarantee that is when you are here in my arms.”
Connors sudden confession startled you, causing you to blush and hide your face in his collar. He smiled, and placed a hand on your back, drawing small circles with his thumb.
“Please- please don’t resort to that again. I couldn’t take it if you…” Connors grip around you tightened, “I was so scared,” he whispered into your hair.
“I’m sorry, and… I love you too.”
Connor’s body stiffened under you, but quickly softened again as he planted a kiss to the top of your head.
As he held you in the dark corner of a dusty old storage room, he vowed to never let you talk bad about yourself, and more importantly, to show you how much he loved you in any way he could.