Chapter Text
Jimin stood rooted to the spot in his tiny apartment’s kitchen. The tiles were cold beneath his feet, but he felt like he was floating. The clock on the wall ticked, on and on, endlessly. He stared out of the glass doors that led to the balcony. He should have turned the lights on ages ago, but he just couldn’t move. Seoul’s cotton candy skies had long since turned to that awful, suffocating light-pollution yellow. Jimin felt a lot like that sky. Clogged. Choked up with dust. Untethered. Ungrounded.
There had been starlight once, perhaps, but not anymore. Jimin had lost his starlight a long time ago. Now, light-pollution was what he was. He was fake. His smiles were fake. Nothing was natural. Nothing was real. Jimin couldn’t remember what being alive felt like. He couldn’t remember how to be real.
—
“What do you mean you 'feel like light-pollution'?” Jin scoffed, his mouth full of popcorn.
“I don’t know,” Jimin shrugged. “Forget I said anything.” He looked down and studied the frayed edge of Jin’s blanket. It was movie night for him and his college friends, and this week was at Jin’s. He knew it was what he needed, but Jimin was struggling, if he was honest with himself. He wasn’t having a ‘good brain day’. Maybe he should have stayed in bed…
“Are you high, or something?” Yoongi asked genuinely. He plopped down on the couch, beer in hand.
“No,” Jimin shook his head. Getting high was the last thing his messed up brain needed.
“If he feels like light-pollution, maybe he should go to the countryside?” Jungkook hypothesized.
There were hums of agreement at this. It seemed pretty logical. It made sense.
Jimin wanted to pull his hair out. No! That’s not what he meant! He felt like an angsty, hormonal teenager. No one understands him! They just don’t get it!
He plastered on a smile and fake-laughed along with everyone else. It was then that he felt a heavy gaze on him. Looking to the side, he found Kim Taehyung staring at him - staring into his soul.
Oh.
Maybe one person understood him.
—
Movie nights had started just with Namjoon and Yoongi. They were roommates and both doing music in college, and had a shared interest in…nothing else. Struggling to think of things to do with each other, the only thing they could think of was to watch films. When Namjoon started dating Jin, the culinary student joined in. When Yoongi started dating Hobi, the dance student also joined in. Hobi was best friends with Jimin, who also did dance, and managed to get him into their unofficial film club as well. Finally, Namjoon got friendly with Jungkook in the gym, and eventually introduced his gym buddy to the gang, a proud smile on his face. Jin had complained that Namjoon treated Jungkook more like his boyfriend than him. Namjoon had shrugged and said, “he’s more like my son.” Jin soon adopted the maknae too, always giving him special treatment. A year went by like this. Even when Jin graduated, movie nights continued.
Kim Taehyung was a recent addition to their group. He and Jungkook were both members of the photography club, and had hit it off instantly. Within only a few days of knowing each other, Taehyung had gotten the invite to movie night. This surprised the others, of course. Movie nights were sacred. However, everyone quickly accepted Taehyung as one of their own. He was a funny and sweet guy, always making people laugh with the strange things he said. He studied literature and fine art, but swore he’d be a CEO one day. No one questioned him. Taehyung could do anything he wanted. Who could say no to that sweet face?
Jimin hadn’t taken to Taehyung as much as the others had. He was quiet in those days, not really in the mood to make a new friend. He didn’t have the energy for it. Taehyung had other plans, however. He was always asking Jimin questions, eager to get to know him. Jimin certainly wasn’t making it easy for the poor guy - his answers were always rather curt - but Taehyung wasn’t about to give up.
It didn’t surprise Jimin when Taehyung walked home with him from Jin’s that evening. Taehyung’s apartment block was close to Jimin’s, and it only made sense. In the past, Jimin had ignored Taehyung and stuck with Hobi, who also went the same route. Unfortunately for Jimin, Hobi had been staying with Yoongi most nights, and this night was no exception. Jimin trotted ahead in his Chelsea boots as fast as he could, not looking back to see if Taehyung was following him.
“Don’t trip,” Taehyung’s deep voice called out from behind him.
“I won’t. I’m a dancer,” Jimin huffed. He stormed onwards, but Taehyung quickly caught up, and easily matched his pace. It wasn’t Jimin’s fault he didn’t have such damn long legs…
“I know. You don’t have to run away from me, though.” Taehyung looked up at the night’s sky, and ignored Jimin’s shocked expression.
“I - I’m not.”
He totally was. Taehyung knew this too, but chose to let it slide.
“So…this is how you feel?” Taehyung raised his palms to the sky, as if he were holding it up.
Jimin stared at the strange man beside him. Taehyung had sallow skin, chocolate eyes, and sharp features. His floppy brown hair was falling in his eyes, but it didn’t seem to bother him. His fashion sense was impeccable - tonight he was wearing his signature brown coat and striped scarf. Jimin wished he could look so effortless. He always felt so…frumpy. So wrong. Taehyung looked completely right.
“Yes, it is,” Jimin sighed and looked straight ahead. He didn’t want to look up. It would only make him feel suffocated.
Taehyung suddenly came to a halt. Jimin turned back and frowned at the distraught look on the younger’s face.
“How horrible.”
“I know.”
Taehyung looked like he wanted to say more, but he just swallowed and kept on walking, Jimin hurrying after him.
“So?”
“So what?” Taehyung hummed.
“What do I do about it?” Jimin’s eyes kept flicking between the pavement and the side of Taehyung’s face.
“What makes you think I have the answer?” he asked, amusement clear on his face.
“Well…you’re the first person to get what I mean,” Jimin admitted. They were getting closer and closer to his apartment, and he was worried he wouldn’t get a solution in time.
“That’s because I’m an empath.”
“Only assholes say that,” Jimin grumbled.
“Exactly, they go hand in hand. You can’t feel everyone’s emotions without getting bitter about the world. So many people are upset about dumb shit. It makes me want to grab them by the shoulders and yell at them to snap out of it.” Taehyung was walking so fast now, that Jimin was practically running.
“Do you wanna do that to me?”
“You look like you need it.”
Jimin thought about it. God, he did need it.
“You also look like you need a hug,” Taehyung said nonchalantly.
Jimin nearly choked. “What?”
“What?” Taehyung side-eyed him. “It’s just what my intuition is telling me.”
Jimin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He definitely wasn’t sober enough for this conversation. He was struggling to keep up with the guy.
They reached Jimin’s apartment much sooner than expected. They stood facing each other.
“So what will it be?” Taehyung asked, an eyebrow raised. “A full-body shake or a hug?”
“We don’t know each other well enough for either.” Jimin shifted from foot to foot, shivering in the cold October air.
“You’re right - we should build up to them. I’m thinking we could do them both in quick succession. I go in for the hug, and then boom, I’ve grabbed you by the shoulders, and I’m yelling in your face.”
“That doesn’t sound very nice.”
“Would you cry?”
“Probably.”
“That’s good. I’d like to see that.”
“Why?” Jimin was appalled.
“‘Cause I’d probably cry too. We’d both feel so much better after.”
“You’re insane.”
“But you’re into it,” the taller said confidently, his eyes closed and his head nodding.
“What? I…No! I’m not,” Jimin spluttered.
“Yes you are. I can see how sad you are, and no one else has, correct?”
“...Correct.” Jimin felt so defeated in that moment. The guy saw right through him.
“And you like that I see it.”
“...Perhaps.”
“Good,” Taehyung smiled. “I’d like to uncover more of your secrets.”
“Do I get a choice?”
“No, god no. I don’t even get a choice. It just happens. I know shit I don’t want to know. But in your case, I do want to know.” Taehyung’s voice was quieter, now. He stepped an inch closer to Jimin. “I want to take off your layers, lay you bare before me, and delve deep inside of you.” His eyes bore into Jimin’s.
Jimin swallowed.
“Do you - uh…” His voice came out croaky. He quickly cleared his throat. “Do you maybe wanna do that…,” he raised a quivering finger towards the window he knew was his. “In-in my bedroom?” He struggled to meet Taehyung’s eyes.
“I thought we didn’t know each other well enough. Not even enough for a hug.”
Jimin blinked up at him. “B-but…sex is different. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Good god!” Taehyung stood up straight and laughed at the sky. “What has become of the world?”
“You sound five hundred years old,” Jimin grumbled. He was unbelievably annoyed now. He wasn’t getting any tonight? After what this demon had just said to him?
Taehyung laughed and smiled at Jimin fondly. “I want to do this properly, Jimin-ah.”
“Do what properly?”
“We need to get past the hug first, don’t you think?”
“Let’s do it now, then!” Jimin was exasperated.
“Absolutely not.” Taehyung stepped back. “I must take you to the countryside first.”
“What?”
“We have to see if Jungkook’s advice will work,” he pouted. “Keep up, Jimin-ah.”
“So, let me get this straight.” Jimin flapped his sweater-paws in frustration. “You want to take me to the countryside and then hug me, so we can have sex?”
Taehyung considered this for a while. “Yes,” he decided. “I think this is the best route for you.”
What did this even mean? Had someone been passing around shrooms at Jin’s and Jimin just hadn’t noticed? Was this seriously how Kim Taehyung acted all the time? He was too tired to deal with this.
“Okay, Taehyung. Do what you want.”
“Great! And this is all just for my dick?”
“Yes,” Jimin nearly growled. He had set his heart on it now and couldn’t back out.
“I’m feeling a little objectified, not gonna lie.”
“Goodnight, Taehyung,” Jimin rolled his eyes and made his way into his apartment building.
“Goodnight, Jimin-ah.” Taehyung watched Jimin go. The blonde always acted so tired and detached at movie nights. This was the first time he’d seen a bit of fire in his beautiful crescent-moon eyes. Even if it was just horny rage, it was a start.
Taehyung wanted to see more of that fire in the pretty boy.
He wanted Jimin to burn him.