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It wasn’t unusual for Marceline to distance herself from the people that loved and cared about her when she became sad or anxious. It was something that Bonnie had grown accustomed to. But something about this time felt different to her, and Bonnie couldn’t help but feel her worries and concern for the vampire queen bubbling up inside of her, threatening to explode.
It had been three days since Bonnie had last seen her girlfriend, which again, wasn’t unusual. Marceline was often coming in and out of the Candy Kingdom, and Bonnie knew that sometimes Marceline needed her space. She knew that sometimes the vampire just needed to be alone with her feelings and thoughts before she could properly and healthily talk about them.
However, Marceline had been acting incredibly strange the last time the princess had seen her. She was visibly anxious and much more fidgety than usual. Bonnie knew better than to push Marceline into talking about what was wrong, but she found herself regretting not asking her what was wrong, visibly missing the presence of her vampire lover.
Of course, Bonnie had to push her worries and concerns away. After all she had a kingdom to run, and she was used to shoving down her feelings. She’d been doing it for centuries, and she was pretty sure she could do it for a couple of hours as she tinkered away in her lab, working on some brand new experiment that would have some major benefits on the Candy Kingdom and its people.
It was late in the evening (or maybe early in the morning? Bonnie often lost track of time when she was working in her lab) when Bonnie heard a door creaking behind her, followed by footsteps shuffling into the room.
Bonnie yawned, not bothering to turn around to see who had entered, figuring it was just one of the Banana Guards, or maybe even Finn and Jake coming to bother her about some brand new adventure, or pester the princess for a new mission, claiming that they were bored of sitting around in their treehouse all day.
“You know the rules, nobody is allowed in-”
Bonnie was cut off mid-sentence by the sound of sniffling coming from behind her. And it wasn’t just anybody sniffling, it was the literal love of her life making that noise.
The princess quickly whipped around in her seat, turning to get a good look at the distressed vampire that was standing in the doorway of her lab.
For one, Marceline had walked into the room, Bonnie had heard the footsteps, and she was still standing up, which was unusual for the vampire who chose to float everywhere and anywhere at any given time. She had her arms wrapped around herself, the sleeves of the sweater that she was wearing hanging over her hands, making her look so small and fragile. The vampire's eyes were glassy and red and puffy, making it clear to Bonnie that she had been spending most of her time the last three days crying.
The thought of Marceline somberly sitting in the middle of her house in her cold, dark cave, alone and in pain made Bonnie’s heart ache. Bonnie knew that Marceline had been incredibly lonely during their time apart from each other after their breakup, and the idea of Marceline ever feeling like that again made Bonnie want to cry. All she ever wanted to do was make sure Marceline felt loved and cared for.
“Marcy,” Bonnie finally breathed out after a couple of seconds of looking her girlfriend over, standing up from her seat and cautiously crossing the room to reach the sad vampire.
“Are you hurt?” Bonnie asked Marceline as she carefully approached her. Bonnie knew it was a dumb question - Marceline had healing powers for globsake - but the possibility of Marceline getting physically hurt would always nag and pull at Bonnie’s worries.
“I- I’m broken,” Marceline was finally able to whimper out.
“What?” Bonnie frowned, taking a step closer to Marceline.
“I’m-” Marceline cut herself off with a sob, her knees buckling from underneath her.
Bonnie was quick to catch her lover before her knees could touch the ground, gently pulling the vampire into her arms, allowing Marceline to rest her head in the crook of her neck. The princess could feel Marceline’s teardrops on her neck, which only made her pull the weeping queen closer to her, gripping her tighter as she began whispering reassurances to her and ran her fingers through Marceline’s soft, raven locks.
Bonnie waited for Marceline’s sobs to subside before gently pulling away to look at her vampire queen. Up close, Bonnie could instantly tell that Marceline’s red eyes weren’t just from the constant crying. It was obvious to her that Marceline hadn’t slept in days, and that only fueled the worry growing in Bonnie’s chest, gnawing at her stomach.
“What happened?” Bonnie asked in the softest tone that she could muster up, bringing her hand up to rest on Marceline’s cold cheek, gently brushing a stray tear away.
Marceline hiccups softly before opening her mouth to speak, her voice coming out shaky and hoarse. “I- I ran into Ash the other day.”
Bonnie had not heard much about Ash, but she knew who he was. She knew that he was an ex-boyfriend of Marceline’s, but she also knew that Marceline didn’t like talking about him or her time with him, so she never pestered or pushed. If Marceline wanted to tell her about it, she would do it on her own terms.
Bonnie nodded to show that she was listening, beckoning for the vampire to continue.
“We- we didn’t talk or anything, I don’t even think he saw me. But- but…” Marceline trailed off, feeling the panic begin to creep its way up her throat again, tears filling her eyes.
“Hey,” Bonnie murmured, rubbing her thumb over Marceline’s cheek, “take your time, my love.”
Marceline nodded slowly, waiting a few seconds to push the tightness that was in her throat down before opening her mouth to speak again.
“I just- seeing him reminded me of how much he made me feel like nothing, of how broken he made me feel,” Marceline spoke. “And I just…what if that’s what I deserve?”
“What do you mean?” Bonnie frowned.
“I- I mean, what if I don’t deserve you. What if I deserve somebody like him?” Marceline asked. “There has to be a reason that everybody abandons me, Bonnie. I- I’m unlovable. I’m some kind of monster. I’m nothing, and I don’t deserve someone like you,” Marceline whispered the last part, feeling herself begin to shut down again, shut down like she had the last three days.
Bonnie could feel her heart split into two at her girlfriend's confession.
“Hey,” Bonnie spoke softly, but firmly, bringing Marceline’s attention back to the pink haired woman that was standing in front of her. “None of that is true, Marceline. You are not a monster. You are a good person with a good heart which is exactly why I fell in love with you. To me, you are everything and I am so sorry that he made you feel like you aren’t.
“Ash? Is a bad person, Marceline. He wanted you to hurt and feel powerless so he could feel in control.”
“I just- I just hate that he still has that control over me,” Marceline admitted, her voice cracking. “Just seeing him made me remember all the bad things that he did and said to me, made me think that maybe I’m not good enough for you.”
Bonnie shook her head, now cupping Marceline’s face with two pink hands. “Marcy, if anything, I’m the one who’s not good enough for you. We both have done things that we regret, we’ve made mistakes, everybody does. But that doesn’t make us incapable of love and of being loved. It doesn’t make us monsters, and it doesn’t make us nothing.”
Marceline could feel her chest swelling with love, happy tears springing to her eyes as she buried herself in her princess' arms, clinging to her tightly and taking in her sweet scent that she had missed so dearly the past three days.
“I’m sorry,” Marceline whispered against Bonnie’s neck.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Marce. I’m sorry for not coming to check on you,” Bonnie murmured into Marceline’s hair.
“You were just giving me space,” Marceline yawned.
Bonnie pulled away to look at her tired girlfriend. “Let's get you to bed,” Bonnie smiled, scooping the vampire up in her arms and heading for the door.
Typically, Marceline would’ve made some sarcastic comment or whine about Bonnie trying to baby her, but quite frankly, she was way too exhausted to even think about it, instead snuggling closer to her girlfriend, letting her eyes flutter shut.
Bonnie gently laid Marceline down on her overly large bed, tucking the vampire into the soft, pink blankets.
Bonnie felt Marceline’s cold hand grip her wrist. “Stay with me?” Marceline asked through half-lidded eyes.
“Always,” Bonnie smiled softly before crawling into the space beside Marceline, pulling her into her arms and allowing her to rest her head flat against the princess' chest.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to isolate yourself when you’re feeling sad,” Bonnie whispered into the shell of Marceline’s ear, gently scratching her scalp. “You spent centuries on your own, you don’t have to go through this alone.”
“I’ll try to work on that,” Marceline whispered against Bonnie’s pink skin, after all, both Bonnie and Marceline promised to work on things like this when they agreed to get back together.
“I love you, Marcy, so much, and I want you to feel loved and cared for. I will always love and care for you,” Bonnie promised.
“I love you too, Bon. So much,” Marcy said drowsily, feeling herself begin to drift off.
The two immortals still had a lot to work on when it came to them individually, and when it came to their relationship, but it could wait until tomorrow. For now, Bonnie was content with Marceline wrapped up in her arms, her cool skin pressing against hers and her soft snores filling the room.