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Pain erupts behind her closed eyelids and takes her by surprise. She clasps her hand to her nose in reflex, and grunts in the dark.
"Sorry !"
Eve at least has the decency to apologize.
The woman shifts against her and the position becomes even more uncomfortable. Of course it is. Of course Eve is going to crush her with her presence, as she always does. Villanelle tries to send a dark look at her through the gloom but it's hard to tell if it hits its target.
“If you hadn’t insisted, we wouldn’t be here…”
It's a whisper, but she hears it anyway as her warm breath brushes her face.
Her kindness only lasted a few seconds. She rolls her eyes. This woman's lack of good faith will therefore never have a limit...
"If you had kept still like I asked, that wouldn't have happened either." Villanelle retorts gruffly. “I know you want to see me dead, but freezing me to death is really sadistic Eve. »
She feels her nose with her fingertips to test the pain and it brings her back to this bus, when the blow had been intentional. When she thought she had power by knocking Eve down on the seat but it was finally Eve who knocked her down with a kiss.
Nothing ever go the way she plans with this woman. Never. Today isn't exception to the rule.
“I thought I told you to leave me alone. Can't you ever listen to me? »
Her body still radiates with that tension and excitement that runs through her veins when she commits a kill. But this time, it's first the dull anguish that had made her react and throw herself headlong into the fight, when it become clear that Eve would not succeed in taking the advantage over the other woman.
She stares down at Eve, who's been lying in the fallen leaves, her breath still gasping, Gunn's bloodied body grimly reflecting her position.
The vision stirs something in Villanelle's stomach and she prefers to get down to getting her stuffs back.
"What are you doing ? " Asks Eve's astonished voice, slowly coming out of her torpor.
Villanelle throws away the bloody branch that has been used as a weapon, picks up Gunn's machete and then puts on her backpack.
"I'm on my way." She says distractedly, figuring out which way the cabin is and how to get away from it as quickly as possible.
"But I thought-" Eve stutters before continuing in a firmer voice. “We had a deal. You were to help me eliminate the Twelve. And Hélène."
"You mean, your new girlfriend and her minions?" Her gaze is piercing and her smile mean. The monster stirs in its innards again when those eyes meet Eve's wounded ones. "I don’t want to start over. I gave you enough information about their next meeting place, and I almost got eliminated for it. Again… "
The memory of the attempted murder in the streets of Margate is still fresh for both of them. It had taken all her willpower to pull away from Eve despite her pleas, to the point where the physical pain had become secondary. But she couldn't do that kind of thing anymore. She couldn't trust Eve anymore, neither herself.
This time the information had cost her a stay in a cabin deep in a Scottish forest with her former psychopathic orphanage roommate, who had obviously harbored a grudge for her severed finger.
What people could be susceptible to these days...
It was a miracle that Eve got to the killer's perimeter and distracted Gunn's attention enough that Villanelle had time to come up with a plan to escape. It was therefore normal that she save Eve in return in order to settle this debt. Nothing more.
“I already apologized for that” Eve replies, not offering her the satisfaction of bouncing back on the subject of Hélène.
"Well start again, maybe this time I'll lose my memory of everything else." Villanelle continues, her tone full of sarcasm.
"You're not going to leave me here in the middle of nowhere as night falls?" Eve asks in shock.
"There's the cabin over there. »
She gestures vaguely towards the north. Eve know the way. She has wandered around without much discretion, which has resulted in her being chased by Gunn.
“You know very well that the Twelve are going to search the premises. »
"It's not my problem anymore. I'm done with it. " She concludes with a nonchalant shrug.
Eve lets her arms slide down her body in defeat.
"Fine… "
The glowing sky casts scarlet shadows back into her messy hair as she finally turns her back on Villanelle and takes a random direction.
Villanelle stands still for a few moments, watching the other woman walk aimlessly, her shoulders slumped.
Something has changed. Eve hasn't fought so fiercely against her since trying to heal her in Margate. As if Eve has given up. Not on her mission, no. Of course not, it wouldn't be Eve if she isn't totally stubborn. But it seems her guilt is struggling with her stubbornness.
Villanelle sighs loudly.
“Okay, you won! »
Eve turns around, her face full of hope. Villanelle sighs for her weakness.
"But I'm warning you, it's only for tonight and I only have a sleeping bag. »
Eve nods silently, and Villanelle can tell through her features that she's holding herself back from looking too victorious.
Holy shit.
She is going to regret it.
She has chosen a hollow in the rock, in the middle of the forest, which would camouflage them and protect them from potential bad weather. Eve has followed in silence, more docile than she has ever been.
But this docility is only short-lived. Obviously. If Villanelle has learned anything during her months with the vicar, it's that miracles doesn’t exist.
"How are we going to sleep with such a small sleeping bag?"
Villanelle gives her a suspicious and annoyed look.
“We are going to tighten."
Clumsily lifting the unfolded bag, Eve appraises the item critically.
"You've been camping before, haven't you? "
Eve turns her attention away from the bag to observe her.
"Absolutely not. "
Villanelle raises a puzzled eyebrow.
" You're kidding me. "
"Do I look like I'm joking? " She replies in an annoyed tone, turning the bag around, frowning.
She really wants to laugh, but the mockery would risk making Eve even more cantankerous than she is. And a sulky Eve is never a good idea, Villanelle knows that from experience.
"Leave it to me," she said walking over and taking the bag from her.
Her gaze wanders distractedly to her figure. The pinkish glow of twilight isn't enough to hide the pallor of her face. Eve looks exhausted. Her features are drawn, her cheeks are chunken and deep circles make up her eyes.
Villanelle suspects that she must be a mess too. Her recent convalescence and these last days of struggle in the cabin had left marks in and on her body. She wanted more than anything to move on, to end it all.
But as always Eve has her own plans, her little schemes and her bloody revenge. And as always, she dragges her willy-nilly into her little trick. Eve doesn't care about Villanelle's cravings. Eve has and never see anything but her own needs, never give way to anything other than that.
It's Eve, the selfish woman. Her, who has stalked her, stabbed her, then hired her to better manipulate her. Who has let her approach to break her heart then. Who has given her the illusion of acceptance and then asked her to stop. And when Villanelle decided to listen, she laughed in her face and then threw her in jail. This woman has broken her in so many ways.
'She's ruined everything'.
Villanelle suddenly wants tearing up the sleeping bag, turning on her heels, and running away from this toxic temptation. Or else to tighten the cord very tightly around her slender neck and watch this spark of defiance disappear definitively from her ey-
“Villanelle? “
She becomes aware of the pain in her clenched fingers on the fabric when these are roughly grazed by a gentle hand.
She raises her head and falls on Eve's worried face. Her heart contracts.
Because Eve could also be this woman. The same woman who has confessed to wanting to know everything about her, even though she knew she's facing an assassin in pursuit. The one who has cupped her cheek and swallowed her fake poison, in this kitchen from another time. A woman so stubborn that she left a dying man in a hall and Konstantin on a train platform to continue her hunt. A woman who has stayed by her bedside without sleeping or eating until she woke up from her unconsciousness.
A woman who knows her more surely than Villanelle knows herself.
‘Because in our bones, we understand each other.’
Her brown eyes scrutinize her, as they always do. They pierce her and Villanelle never really knew how to hide from them. How not to feel burned inside.
She takes a step back, breaking both the physical and visual connection. She turns away to position the now very crumpled sleeping bag on the floor, fumbling around to find the least chaotic area possible.
Once satisfied, she begins to extricate herself hastily and gracelessly from her suit. The cold quickly sets in and makes her shiver, her simple tank top and boxers not being really effective against the evening humidity. She quickly sneaks into the bag, finally finding a satisfactory position and then ends up redirecting her attention to the other woman.
Her gaze finds Eve completely still, frozen in place.
"You come ? "
The question seems to wake the woman from her torpor.
“You…It’s too small. " She affirms while looking away. "We can't sleep here together! "
"And why not ? " Villanelle is surprised, frowning at the strange behavior of her sidekick. “It’s true that it’s not a bag intended for two people but I always take them a little larger because I like to be able to spread out inside. " She completes in a cheerful tone. She waves her arms and legs to show that there is room.
Eve still doesn't seem convinced despite her performance. She takes a step, then steps back. Stops and runs a hand through her disheveled hair.
"Do I have to… "
That's it, she thinks when she understands where the problem is, and rolls her eyes.
"You don't have to undress. I’m always hot in ther-”
"No, no problem" Eve hastily cut before getting rid of her turtleneck sweater.
"Very well. "
"Perfect."
Silence. Eve shivers, her upper body covered only by a t-shirt. She takes a step towards the bag but stops in her tracks.
"It's just that-". Eve freezes again for a few moments.
"Eve, pleeaase" Villanelle exasperated. "I'm exhausted ! I won't try to kill you. I promise."
She throws a big smile at the brunette who rolls her eyes in turn.
"You're so annoying"
Villanelle said nothing but her smile widened. She watches Eve kneel down and then slip into the bag. She flattens herself on the opposite side to make a space for her, but quickly realizes that Eve might have been right. The bag is clearly not intended for two and she finds herself crushed by her companion who fights with the zipper.
After several minutes of insults, agitation and growling, Eve finally wins the battle and settles down by her side.
The position is actually not very comfortable. Villanelle has the left side of her chest locked under Eve's right shoulder. The bag is very taut, her hand is starting to go numb, and Eve can't seem to stay still for more than ten seconds.
After five minutes, she loses her patience.
"Stop moving ! "
"I can't, I'm in pain."
“Well stop, and you will see that it will get better. "
Eve sighs loudly but calms down. Villanelle tries to relax and forget that she's glued to Eve, and that she's going to die of heat because this woman is so hot. That she will die of heat if she continues to compare Eve to a hot woman.
She closes her eyes, listens to the sounds of the forest, lets herself be invaded by the musky smell of Eve. New deep inspiration. Don't think. Don't feel. She counts in her head the number of times she had dreamed of being under the covers with her. Her mind is finally quickly overtaken by tiredness and she sinks into a sleep filled with scorpions and frogs.
Villanelle continues to massage her sore nose in silence.
Pain.
Pain has always been something familiar, almost reassuring to her. Most of the time, she's the one who inflicted it on others, but in Eve's case, she has been the victim more often. It's like a language between them. A way to mark, to hide what couldn’t be pronounced. Wounding bodies, torturing minds.
However, being abruptly awakened by a kink in the face is clearly not the type of fantasy she has developed about sleeping with Eve.
The woman next to her fidgets again, shoving her around, abusing her without much care and Villanelle begins to find this metaphor for her existence a little too annoying.
The last knee in her hip decides her to act.
She turns around sharply, straining the bag but she doesn't care. The important thing is that she grabbed Eve's wrists, immobilizing her once and for all.
“Hey! " Protests her executioner, trying to free herself, without success. Villanelle tightens her grip and locks their hands in the very small space between their bellies.
Her smug smirk fades partially when she raises her head and finds herself bumping her nose against Eve's.
"Fuck ! "
"It's your fault ! " Eve protests.
Villanelle pulls a face to try to contain the new spike of pain blooming behind her closed eyelids. She feels Eve trying to free herself but she keeps her hold firmly.
"Stop moving. " She repeats.
“Let me go."
The warm breath against her face makes her open her eyes. Her gaze is immediately caught in two piercing chasms filled with anger. The intensity of Eve's eyes, so close, and even partially camouflaged by the night, sends a shock down her spine.
“If you don't let me go right now, I'm going to hit you. And this time I would do it on purpose." Growls Eve's voice full of menace.
Villanelle smiles broadly. She loves when she challenges her.
"Déjà vu."
Eve tries again to free herself with more energy, but it's a waste of time. Now that she's caught it, she won't let go.
“You don't.” Villanelle sneers provocatively.
"Yes I'll do. "
“Of course not,” Villanelle whispers softly in a charming voice. With satisfaction, she sees Eve's gaze shift to her lips.
’Do you like the power you have on her?’
She swallowed apprehensively when she felt after a few moments Eve's weight shifting slowly toward her.
‘Yes.’
Seconds pass and…nothing happens. Only a whisper breaks her expectation.
"Of course I do…"
Searing pain radiates down her leg as Eve's knee forcefully meets her shin. Surprised, she lets go of the hands of the brunette who regains her freedom and takes the opportunity to try to reverse the trend.
Should they always fight each other?
Eve's strength takes her by surprise. She manages to dodge and get her arms out of the bag in extremis while Eve struggles inside and tries to pin her back to the ground. Faster, Villanelle succeeds to block her legs around those of the other woman and does the same with her body by shifting all her weight there. She wraps her in a tight embrace, blocking her movements in the bag which creaks under repeated attacks. She steps back slightly and narrowly avoids a headbutt before tightening her grip around Eve even more.
“Stop Eve! “
Her victim attempts to spin to knock her down, but fails and she ends up raising her head to glare at her.
Enough.
Without further thought, Villanelle dives into the middle of her wild hair and blocks Eve's growl of rage with her mouth. Their teeth collide, her lip splits during the fight but no matter, she holds on. Further protest is stifled before the movements die down as suddenly as they had begun.
Short of breath, eyes wide open, it takes her a few seconds before she really becomes aware of her gesture and moves her face away from that of the other woman. Eve is breathing heavily, and she feels her heart beating against her ribs. Or is it her own heartbeat? She no longer knows. The tiredness, the heat and the Eve’s smell of sweat prevent her from thinking clearly. Especially when the brunette looks at her like this, her lips parted, her cheeks flushed, her eyes furious, seeming ready to pounce on her prey. Which she does, by the way.
Villanelle finds herself caught up in another messy kiss that makes her blood boil. She once again keeps her eyes open, as if her mind needed to reconnect with events, to confirm to her that all of this was indeed happening.
There isn’t tenderness in the touch, just rage and disorder. Just a mixture of despair and renunciation. Attempt to control. She wished it were otherwise.
Eve finally breaks away to catch her breath and Villanelle takes the opportunity to strike in turn.
“Is that how you distracted Hélène? “
The question pops out of her mouth before she even thinks about it. The venom that permeates her words leaves a bitter taste on her tongue.
A flash crosses her opponent's eyes and she sees the muscles of her jaw contract in the dark.
She was right. She would have preferred to be wrong.
Her stomach clenches painfully.
"You are a good teacher”. Eve slams her in a biting tone without looking away. She lets a sneer show on her face and how dare she?
“I never kissed you to manipulate you." She replies coldly.
“You did much worse. You made me feel things-”
She stops mid-sentence and Villanelle wonders if her mind made up the slight tremor she heard in her voice. She pulls her face back, trying to decipher what lies behind her furrowed brows and drawn features in a stubborn expression. She would like to scratch it and tear it, to take away from it that air of defiance which no longer deceives anyone. Because she knows what lies behind. She always knew it. Only Eve can convince herself otherwise.
"Which things ? "
She wants to hear it. She must hear it.
"What things, Eve..." She insists when the brunette just stares at her without flinching, without even breathing.
This little game is no longer enough. It’s not enough anymore because she wants more, because she is more than that. That she wants to be more for Eve. More than a knife on her belly or a shot in the ruins. More than a stolen kiss on a bus that ends in a headache. More than a dance that only lasts for a blink of an eye. More than blood or tears or pain. More and everything.
"Say IT ! "
The cry comes out of her throat with an intonation of desperation that she immediately hates. Eve's body shivers against her.
"I trusted you…" She replies in a low voice. This is not what Villanelle expected.
“And not me? " Her eyes scan the other woman in incomprehension. Her ears are ringing. Her pulse quickens. "Not ME ? You betrayed me Eve! »
She shakes the other woman before letting her go and looking away.
“I tried to protect you! "
She wanted to get out of that bag, and run. Leave, kill, die, anything else. She runs her fingers through her hair, trying to calm her agitation. A hand approaches her face but she pushes it away, surprised. She stills and gives her an offended look as Eve's words finally reach her brain.
“By sending me to jail ? "
"YES ! "
Villanelle blinks in disbelief. She notices that Eve is as restless as she is. A form of panic. All this is so Eve. Villanelle bursts into a joyless, exuberant, totally fake laugh.
“I thought I was saving you. I- "
“Shut up…” The assassin growls in a menacing voice, drowning out the vibrating voice of the other woman.
"...-didn't think she could get to you!"
“Shut up Eve…”
She closes her eyes to try to contain herself. But Eve sees nothing and insists. Why did she always have to insist?
"It wasn't supposed to happen-"
This is too much.
“I said SHUT UP ! »
Villanelle lunges at her throat like a cornered animal, now desperate to silence her. Ironic.
"I'M SORRY ! " Eve yells as her fingers reach for her neck.
Villanelle holds her in the palm of her hand and she can feel everything. Her heart pounding, her breathing hot and panting, the sob rising and escaping from her without warning.
"I'm sorry...please forgive me..."
The young woman is a few centimeters from Eve's tormented face and she looks at her without understanding.
Never had Eve looked so fragile. She had never looked so broken, even when she had driven that ax into Raymond's shoulder.
A tear falls on her skin and she watches it slip away for a moment before returning to this fascinating transformation.
"I was so scared…" Without even paying attention to the threat of being strangled, Eve continues her rant, as if now unable to stop. "When I saw you on the floor and I couldn't do anything…Hélène had me locked up and-…" She shakes her head, as if to get rid of the memory. "God, I'm so sorry..."
She feels more than sees Eve's hands around her face and she's totally lost. The brunette caresses her cheek, brushes her hair, redraws the lines of her jaw before pressing her forehead against her and closing her eyes.
Villanelle swallowed hard. She instinctively releases her hold on her neck, hesitates, then decides to get down to chasing away the tears that keep flowing.
"I'm here, it's okay." She whispers, surprised by her own sweetness.
Eve shivers and she moves closer to her again, if that is possible.
"It's okay, I'm alive. "
Eve nods. However, her tears redouble in intensity.
"Hey…shhh, don't cry…" She forces her to lift her chin and look at her. Her face is warm and wet, her nose flushed, her lips full. Her eyes wild, haunted. Eve has never looked so beautiful as she does in this moment, now that she can really see her. She smiles at her. "You know you're flooding our only sleeping bag-"
But her sentence is swallowed by those same warm lips that she admired a few seconds before.
Everything is wet, heavy, a little awkward and confused. While the previous kiss was fierce and made her want to kill, this one is soft, hesitant and lets a whole different fire brew under her skin.
She closes her eyes and lets the feeling wash over her. Her hand slips from Eve's chin and plunges into her long-fantasied hair. Her mouth instinctively opens and lets out an involuntary sigh of satisfaction as Eve's tongue immediately finds its way there. They look for each other, brush against each other, dance in a slow and sensual ballet that goes beyond anything Villanelle could have imagined. Her heart beats violently against her ribs. Maybe Eve can hear it because she feels her hands move, one finding its place on the back of her neck, the other moving along her chest to rest on her belly. A moan echoes in the air and-
"Wait…"
Her voice is hoarse and she closes her eyes for a moment, struggling to believe she's stupid enough to say what she's going to say. When she really wants to-...
The look Eve gives her seems both surprised and desperate. God, help me.
"Eve, are you sure?..."
"Yeah," She replies, frowning, suddenly looking puzzled.
“Because…” The young woman swallows hard before continuing, trying to explain herself. “I don’t want it to be out of guilt or for you to feel compelled to do this, because your twisted mind convinced itself. I just want you to…let me be with you. ” Her voice breaks a little. "To have a place in your life, even if it's not the one I want. Even though I…I want you so much it hurts and-”
"Villanelle" Her tone is firm. Her dark, determined gaze makes her swallow again.
"I won't give up on you again," She said before leaning closer and placing a light kiss on her lips.
Villanelle shivers.
"Promised ? ” She hears herself ask, her voice vibrating with hope. And it sounds so pathetic.
Eve smiles tenderly. ”Promised”, and it's unlike any expression she's ever seen on her face. She leans down again and kisses her deeper.
Villanelle sighs against her mouth and feels a tear roll down her cheek.
Eve lets her own hand slide down her arm to her wrist as her lips explore every corner, devouring her, playing with her tongue, licking the cut from their recent battle. Villanelle no longer knows where her body stops and where her companion's begins.
Eve's mouth parted from her and she whispered "I want you..." which instantly cut off the young woman's breath. "I want you so badly and for so long…" she insists desperately as she guides Villanelle's hand down her pants until her fingers reach an area much wetter and smoother than she wouldn't have dreamed it.
Their chests rise rhythmically under their agitated breaths and Eve doesn’t take her eyes off Villanelle's for a single second. Short of breath, she licks her lips as her fingers slide for the first time in search of a reaction from the brunette. This is not expected. A spark of desire crosses Eve's pupils and a sigh escapes from between her lips. Fascinated, she repeats, over and over again, watching the other woman's facial features tense, her breath quicken, her hands clinging to her under the bag.
“Villanelle…”
A new shiver runs through her spine and sets fire to her lower abdomen at the sound of her name.
"Again. Say it again. ” She whispers only inches from her mouth as her fingers grow more confident, the friction firmer. Eve wiggles one leg and opens up a little more to her touch.
“Villanelle…please…”
Her other hand, hitherto forgotten, goes up against her lover's body, slips under her t-shirt. With an expert movement, she unfastens the bra and lets her palm run against one of the offered breasts.
Eve closes her eyes for a moment and bites her lip.
That's all it takes for Villanelle to slip her hand deeper between her thighs and tease her entrance.
Eve opens her mouth a little wider in mute protest, which inflames Villanelle and drives her to take her mouth in a demanding, ravenous kiss. A first finger slides inside Eve, and she stifles her cry against her front lips. She separates from her once again to be able to enjoy the show. Her nails scratch her skin, trying to find an anchor. The view is idyllic. Better than in her fantasies. She speeds up.
The woman moves in a lascinating back and forth that Villanelle is happy to accompany. She watches her lover slowly being overwhelmed, as she adds a finger inside her and begins to curl them expertly.
“God…”
She feels Eve's walls tighten around her fingers and enters her with renewed energy. Her other hand moves up against Eve's cheek as she begins to close her eyes.
"Look at me," she begs, pressing her sweaty forehead against her partner's. "Stay with me. "
Eve obeyed, shaking her head, eyes haggard. Villanelle feels her heart ready to explode. The woman is closed.
"It's okay, you can come. »
Her face contracts in unison with her body, trying in a last effort to resist the wave that washes over her. Eve throws her head back and the young woman can't help but laugh with delight.
"I got you, it's okay. " She repeats, accompanying her spasms until Eve's body stops shaking.
Villanelle hugs her and rests her chin against the top of her head, a smug smile still painting her face. She tenderly kisses her hair, inhales her scent, delights in her closeness. Eve's breathing, which has become calm again, gently rocks her body and plunges her into a sudden appeased lethargy. She has never felt so relaxed, so complete as she does now. She wishes they had more time. But she knows that tomorrow it will be necessary to come back to reality. That they should be content with this gift that fate granted them.
Tomorrow.
But now, this night is still for them.