Chapter Text
Greg had been hovering for weeks.
It was an understandable response. His son had turned into a giant monster barely a month ago, what father wouldn’t be worried? At that crisis point, he said something to Steven, and he meant it with every bone in his body - “ Anything you need, I’m here for you”. He would cross the galaxy for his son, hell, he already had, but he had the itching feeling Steven just couldn’t be open about his needs. Greg knew he hadn’t been the best father, it was something he regretted every day. He tried his best - what parent doesn’t - but he was 20. He didn’t know anything about kids! He just knew he wanted one, he wanted a family, he’d work out the details later. Oh, and not to mention, the mother of his child was a literal alien. That threw a planet sized wrench into the mix.
But he was older now, more mature. He had learned. Once Steven started showing signs of trauma he learned even more, he kicked into overdrive trying to help his son but by the time he got there it was too late. Regardless, all they had was the present. And now he did know better, he knew how to care for Steven and he wanted to desperately. Sure, he babied him a little now, but he couldn’t help it. He knew Steven was old enough to do things on his own, but all Greg wanted to do was make up for all the times Steven had to do them on his own when he wasn’t old enough. He just wanted a second chance.
Steven was… conflicted. He appreciated all his dad did for him then and now, but he had a hard time accepting it. That broody little teenage voice in his head kept going off - What does he know? You’re not a kid anymore. He should stop treating you like one. But then again, it felt … nice. To be cared for. Not that he’d ever admit it, but deep down something in him jumped at the opportunity to just leave stuff to other people. He spent so much time caring for others, including his dad, that it just felt foreign to be on the receiving end of it. It took some getting used to, and he wasn’t quite to the point that some ego inside him wouldn’t push back against any acts of kindness toward him.
Either way, it was a touch annoying just how present his dad was. By the request of his therapist, someone had to be with Steven at all times, so Greg opted to move into the beach house. The house was incredibly open, so privacy was not a real option for Steven, especially when his dad popped in to check on him every five minutes. It was a constant parade of check ins, reminders, snacks, everything. Steven was grateful but really - he didn’t need his dad within sight every second.
…Until he did.
Steven knew relapse was a possibility. His myriad of mental illnesses was not something one just willed away once they got a big hug from everyone in their life. But when he fell back into it, he fell hard. And it hurt. This time was different, he didn’t have a … reason. He wasn’t going through a transition period anymore. He had a constant orbit of support systems. What was wrong now? Why was this still happening? Why did he still feel this shitty? Feeling defeated, he brought it up with his therapist.
“I just don’t get it. I thought I was fixed. I thought it was over. What did I do this time?” Steven pulled his knees to his chest in shame, and Dr. Endeara listened.
“After all the changes in the last year, it can be hard to readjust. But first of all, you’re not -”
“I’m not a problem to be fixed. I know,”
“I guess I have gotten through to you on some level,” Dr.Endeara chuckled.
“I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but it’s not something you did. It’s what you’ve been through. Even when things are good in your life, past traumas can creep up. It’s just a part of life, for everyone, and the best we can do is find a healthy ways to cope with and work through that trauma when it reappears,”
That wasn’t what Steven wanted to hear. It wasn’t great to lie to a patient, but he didn’t think ‘ that’s the breaks, kid’ was an especially therapeutic way of going about things.
“What has been helping you get through these periods?”
Steven just shrugged. ‘Getting through’ was kind of an overstatement.
“Well, how about we brainstorm things together. Who is available to help you?”
He immediately thought of his dad. He was incredibly available.
“I don’t know… my dad, I guess?”
“That’s great. What do you want from your dad?”
That was a weird question. Unexpectedly loaded to say the least. There was a beat of silence between them as Steven tried to gather the
many
things that came to mind.
“I don’t know I guess I just want him to… be a dad if that makes sense? I spent so much of my life being taken care of by the gems it kind of feels like he just left me in someone else’s hands. And because he did that I never really got a chance to just, be someone’s son you know? I wasn’t just some kid I was Steven Universe-”
He’d gotten more worked up than he realized. He had unfurled from his position and was on the edge of his seat. He tried to reel himself back.
“So I guess like… one childhood please?” He chuckled, strained.
Dr. Endeara put a hand on her chin. She surveyed her notes, looking from them to Steven, and seemed to come to a conclusion.
“Well, if that’s something you struggle with I do have something that may help you work through that feeling.”
Steven watched as she fished through her many pamphlets. Dr.Endeara loved pamphlets, as if she were afraid her patients would forget if they didn’t have written list of what she wanted from them. It was kind of like homework. She passed him the pamphlet, and he was immediately drawn to (and confused by) the title.
“...Age regression? Like you want me to shapeshift?”
That made Dr. Endeara laugh. Steven liked it when she laughed, it was a moment of connection to remind him that they were truly close and she cared about him. Also it made him feel like he was doing a good job at therapy.
“No, Steven. It’s a coping mechanism some people use to heal what’s called your ‘inner child’.”
“Inner child?”
“Yeah, it’s like the little part of you that’s still a kid. They're still hurt by the things that hurt you back then, and they want the things you lacked in childhood. By attending to their needs, it helps you cope with those things and work through them.”
“So… what does that mean?”
“Well, you can heal the inner child in a lot of ways. But one way is through age regression - temporarily reverting to a younger state of mind.”
Revert to a younger state of mind? This whole thing was starting to… ring some bells.
“It can be something you do individually, but sometimes people have others they trust take care of them as a bonding experience. Maybe you could -”
“... have my dad take care of me.”
“If it’s not something you’d find helpful, that’s totally okay. I just thought I’d bring it up so you knew it was an option,” Dr. Endeara closed her notebook and set it aside - her little cue that it was the end of their time.
Steven looked at the pamphlet again before putting it in his pocket.
“Thanks Doc, you’ve given me a lot to think about."