Chapter Text
Feyre
In an instant, I was standing in the entrance to the manor from which I had escaped months before, being led into the main corridor by Tamlin. The manor had been my home once, but standing there it felt as if I had never been there before.
It felt desolate in comparison to The Night Court, where the halls were alive with talks, laughter, and my family's plans. The place where my sisters were now — that thought struck me like ice, and I felt a shiver snake down my spine.
Tamlin still had my hand wrapped in his, and I was surprised at how tightly he gripped mine. When I looked down, I noticed the tips of his claws piercing the skin.
He dropped my hand and turned on his heel, stalking down the corridor like a cat, glancing into empty rooms to make sure we were alone.
I looked at Lucien, and concern grew on his face; I whispered, "is he okay?"
Lucien simply shook his head. I was about to ask where everyone had gone when I was stopped by something in Lucien's face, and I stayed silent.
Tamlin hardly looked at Lucien before saying forcefully, "I want to be alone with Feyre. She and I need to talk about wedding plans," he said, dismissively waving his hand.
The way he said my name rippled through me, as if he was claiming me. Nausea swept over me.
Tamlin had no idea I was already married when he said those words. Not only had I been married, but I had also been crowned High Lady of the Night Court mere days earlier. I knew he couldn't see the swirling tattoo that ran up my right hand and up my arm; I'd glamoured it to keep Rhys's mark—proof of our bond—secret and safe.
Lucien froze for a moment, "Tam, she just arrived back. We should all rest, speak in the morning, together."
"Leave us, Lucien," Tamlin said with a ferocity I had not expected.
Lucien looked at me, sorrow filling his face, and bowed his head, "Feyre."
And when he spoke my name it sounded like a goodbye, and the he turned away, leaving me alone with Tamlin.
Tamlin approached me and grasped my hand in his, gripping it a little too tightly. "You appear well-healthy," he said as he examined me.
I could hear the implication. Someone who had been held captive for as long as I had would not have looked like this; I was sunkissed, my curves had returned, and my body was strong. Tamlin reached for my face before I could say anything, each hand cupping a cheek so tenderly that I almost didn't notice the claws resting on my skin.
"I've missed you so much. I was lost without you. I searched for you. I knew once I got your letter. I knew they—he—was torturing you. I knew- I knew, you'd never betray me, that you'd never abandon me."
I lifted my hands to his and gazed into his eyes. His face had once been so beautiful to me, so gentle, pure, and inviting, but now all I saw was emptiness. I saw a broken male.
"Tamlin, you saved my life. You brought me home." My throat constricted at the weight of the lie.
He hadn't saved me; instead, he had stolen me away from my home, my love, my mate, and my family and brought me back to a prison. And for a brief moment, I swear I saw rage flash across his face.
He kept my gaze, "we should eat. Lucien is correct. We need to rest and recover, so please allow me to show your new quarters."
He took my hand and led me away before I could question him. He walked me past my former chambers and to a door at the far end of the corridor that I didn't recognize.
"After he stole you," the words were clipped and sharp, "I had rooms added. I needed a place to get away from everyone and everything. The house was too big, too vast, without you here," he continued, glancing at me, "so I needed a place to escape to, with everything I needed."
The door opened onto a long, gloomy, windowless corridor. My heart quicked; this didn't feel right, but his grip on my hand tightened, and I reminded myself of my powers, of my strength. I was playing a part and needed to play it right.
As we walked down the hall, I noticed that the walls were lined with my art, all elegantly framed and thoughtfully hung. Each had a light above them that had been intended to illuminate them but instead seemed to cast a sinister shadow across the paint. We reached the end of the corridor and were met by three doors, two opposite each other and one at the very end. "Mine and yours," he said, motioning to the one on the right and then the one on the left.
"I want to stay close to you, Feyre; I will never let you be so far away from me again," he said as he turned to face me. As he spoke, I could feel the tips of his claws pressing firmly against my skin, and fury flashed across his features once more. My heart- my intuition, told me to flee. But before I could say anything, he lowered his hands, smiled sweetly, and led me into his room, saying, "We should eat."
The room was massive.
The walls were high and painted a light green hue; and a beautiful burgundy carpet covered the sparkling hardwood floors. Windows the height of the room lined the walls, looking out onto the gardens and letting in bright sunlight. The bed in the corner was piled high with pillows and blankets, and across from it was a sitting area with intricate chairs, a desk, and shelves brimming with books. A glowing fireplace was framed by two velvet couches on the far side of the room. I spun in a slow circle around the room, absorbing it all. Behind the sitting area was a small kitchen, and he led me over to a round table where steaming food was already waiting for us.
Tamlin sat by my side, rather than across from me, and began heaping food onto our plates and filling our glasses with wine. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until that moment, and the meal smelled heavenly. I had barely eaten or had a sip of water in hours.
He placed his hand over mine and gently squeezed before lifting his glass, gesturing for me to do the same, and tapping our glasses together. "To your arrival home," he said, forcing a smile.
"Thank you," I whispered back, trying not to sound anxious, but everything felt wrong. Everything. I sipped the sweet wine and tried to calm myself.
"Where- where has everyone gone?"
"I sent word as soon as I—I knew I'd get you back," he said, perplexed. "I wanted the manor to be as calm as possible, so the staff was relocated and those who were no longer needed at the manor were sent," he hesitated, "home. I didn't know what condition you'd be when you got back. I hope it's to your taste."
I nodded. "And Ianthe?"
"She will be here; this is her home and where her temple stands. She can come and go as she pleases," he replied firmly, his eyes narrowing. " I know what she did was horrible, Feyre, abducting your sisters like that. And I'll speak with her about it. But I promise you that we are working hard to retrieve your sisters and punish all the Night Court vermin that harmed you and them."
"Ianthe- she hurt my sisters - and me. She should be punished," I shouted, more aggressively than I intended.
Tamlin's hand slammed onto the table so forcefully that the silverware shuddered, and my gaze sharpened at him. "No! No, she was simply doing what she thought was right; she helped me save you." He softened somewhat as he stared at the spot where his hand had landed. "Right now, she is the only person who I trust. Everything she did was to bring you home- to me, and this is where you belong."
My mind urged me to control my anger. I needed to stay in his good graces; he needed to trust me so I could learn his plans. I reminded myself that if I played this properly, I would be able to go home soon. My real home.
"And- Lucien? Don't you trust him?"
"When Lucien came back—after finding you in the woods—he tried to convince me to leave you be. Let you stay with him," Tamlin regarded me as though peering inside my mind. "He felt it was time to let you go because you looked happy. But, I knew better."
I stared at my food, and my mouth went dry as an unsettling feeling overwhelmed me. As soon as Tamlin's gaze fell on my face and I lifted my eyes to his. "I'm thankful you did not listen to him," the lies tumbled out of my mouth.
"As am I, Feyre, I'm so glad I got you back," he replied, but his eyes were filled with bitterness rather than joy.
The meal smelled marvelous, but my dread overpowered my appetite. Instead, I pushed the food around my plate, sipping wine from a glass that Tamlin refilled as he questioned me about The Night Court.
Telling him- Tamlin, who had caged me- about a place I loved, where I was free and safe and happy, broke my heart; but having to lie about it- to tell him untrue atrocities that had been done to me- hurt in ways I could not fully comprehend, that I couldn't let myself feel.
So, I told him that my memories were just beginning to return and that some things were still too difficult to speak aloud. I asked him, as gently and innocently as I could, to give me more time.
"Of course," he said, lifting my right hand- the glamoured hand covered in my mate's marks- to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
As I gazed at him, suddenly everything around me began to blur.
"Feyre," I heard Tamlin's voice, but it sounded very far away. "Feyre, are you okay?
I tried to stand, but the room tilted, and Tamlin jumped to steady me, a concern etched on his face. I felt as if I wasn't in my body anymore, and I could tell I was on the verge of fainting. I reached for him, my body swaying to the side, his arms carefully catching me and lowering me to the floor.
The last thing I saw before losing myself to unconsciousness was looking up at Tamlin and seeing a smile creep across his face.