Archive of Our Own

"Are you - are you sure?"

"Of course!"

"I don't want to look like a rookie on my first day..."

"What are you babbling about?” Hokuto smiled at him through the reflection of the mirror, before placing her chin and hands on Subaru’s left shoulder. “Bowties are cool!"

Subaru smiled at his reflection, the bowtie he was wearing was dark blue, there was painted on it a little penguin looking sighing at the other side of the tie, right to the decoration of a red heart.

In one of her many wanderings, Hokuto had noticed an old granny painting hand ties in a remote corner of Asakusa, the care and attention that the old woman in kimono put into her little masterpieces had captivated the girl.

Subaru sighed, moving away from his sister.
"You ended up buying too many."

"Nothing is ever too much when it comes to accessories, remember dearie!"
Hokuto ignored the annoyed murmurs of the twin and began to adjust one of her excessively large fake lashes.

"I'd better go, my bike is unloaded, I'll have to pedal."

"Whaat?! Do you risk arriving sweaty and panting on your first day of work?! At Clamp En.Co.!?"

"It's in Nishi, it's not-"
Hokuto grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the door of his studio apartment.
"I’ll drive."

The trip obviously lasted exactly ten minutes longer than Subaru would have taken with an unloaded bike, Hokuto never missed an opportunity to stick out her tongue towards a young driver, get out her arm to make rash gestures towards a particularly slow ojisan, only to apologize at the next red light, “It's my brother's first day at work, you know! He worked hard for it.”

Subaru at her side smiled gratefully for the affection in Hokuto's tone of voice.
He waved at her on the stairs of the tall, shiny building belonging to the Daidouji family and had a thrill of anticipation, accompanied by an equally strong pang of anxiety. He smoothed his gray jacket and walked to the sliding doors.

The doorman quickly scanned his employment letter, apparently there was someone waiting for him on the 10th floor-
"Ask about your new Manager, Gingetsu-san, he-"

"Oh, finally our brilliant newcomer, ten minutes late."

Subaru's eyes widened when he saw a hand reach out to the doorman to snatch the hiring letter from his hands.

"Gingetsu-san! Forgive me, forgive me, I didn't see you coming!"
The doorman jumped up from his chair to bow deeply to the man who had appeared at Subaru's side.

He was tall, much taller than Subaru. His shoulders were huge, thick build, certainly hard trained. His hair was a blonde so pale that it bordered on platinum. His eyes were hidden by a thick pair of sunglasses even though they were indoors on any leaden Tokyo day.

Subaru opened his eyes as if awakening from his state of shock, he leaned deeply towards the stranger.
"I'm Sumeragi Subaru, glad to meet you, Gingetsu-san! And- I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry for the delay!"

"Uhm... well it seems that everything is in order. Come to the tenth floor, I will introduce you to your colleagues. - Subaru tugged with a smile, only to notice that his Supervisor had already turned his back to go towards the elevators, continuing to talk as if the boy was following him. Subaru clutched the briefcase and rushed next to him. - You will follow Ichihara Yuuko and Clow Reed in their every move, this month you will just be their shadow, no questions about the age of Ichihara-san or about the sudden hair loss on Reed-san's temples."

Reed-san and his sudden hair loss-
Subaru squeezed his notebook focused, Hokuto scolded him. It was just the first day, there was no need to carry a bag equipped like a stationery, but Subaru knew he was right.

"Are you writing this on?"
The man raised his eyebrow, looking down at him, Subaru shrugged but lifted his chin trying to look confident.
"Shouldn’t I?"

Gingetsu shook his head slightly and pointed to the elevator screen that indicated 10, the doors opened with a small tin.

"You'll be in good hands, Ichihara-san may seem vain and opportunistic, and indeed she is - Subaru almost bumped into him because Gingetsu had stopped in the middle of the 10th floor corridor, painted bright green - but she is very good at her job, you will learn a lot."

The boy nodded and Gingetsu continued thoughtfully.

"Reed-san on the other hand is a very calm and patient person, from him you’ll learn how to catch even the smallest weakness of the opponent to hit him right there. - Gingetsu thrust his big hands in applause, before lifting an index finger at Subaru. - Love is war, and in war the one who fires the fatal shot wins, remember that. "

Subaru widened his green eyes and nodded, grabbed the pen again to write this last thought of the weird yet enlightened  Supervisor Gingetsu.
But- wait a minute…
Love-?
Why love?

"You'll take their place, in two months, those two have a nice flight waiting for them, the Canaries, they said. Tokyo's best divorce lawyers will happily enjoy their early retirement on a crowded beach, or at least, rumor has it. I’m not even jealous."

"Gingetsu-san... why did you say- divorce lawyers? Daidouji-san assured me that I would take care of our mostly pro-bono cases as a civil lawyer and-"

"Ah! Pro-bono cases! Daidouji's sister, Kendappa-san, has been setting them aside for years! Probably the President would’ve said anything to have you on board, she said to me that you left her speechless at the final interview."
Gingetsu resumes walking down the corridor, there was a vague background chatter coming from the secretaries' rooms and from waiting customers.

"As much as... I am extremely flattered, my field is Civil Law, I don't know- I won't be able- in such a short time… taking the place of the best lawyers of the Firm in my first experience, I don’t…following them for a couple of months will not be enough for me-"

"There are no vacancies for Civil Dept., Sumeragi. If Daidouji has chosen a rookie and his penguins bowtie, she has her good reasons. She has a plan for you, as she had for all of us, and so far she’s never been wrong.
Trust her judgment or don't waste my time."

Subaru clutched the notebook to his chest, the leather bag full of paperwork weighed like a boulder on his forearm.
He was still a little scared.
But that was a one time chance, Subaru knew that if he gave up this role there would be a line of promising young people ready to take his place in one of the most renowned law firms in Tokyo.
"Please, forgive me. I was just- confused. But not anymore. I'm ready."

"Ahhh Mokona! Thanks for the sakè, thanks, thanks a lot, I needed it!"

A shrill voice made Subaru shiver. He craned his neck only to notice the purple lacquered door on the left, reciting Ichihara Yuuko: Divorce Lawyer.

Gingetsu looked calm.
“Just a moment. We should let her have her three glasses of sakè first, then I'll introduce her to you. Come, there’s a third lawyer on this floor."

Sakè at 8.30 in the morning?
In front of clients?
Ichihara-san... what kind of person can she be?
Subaru nodded, trying not to make the other understand that he was sincerely reconsidering his place in the Clamp. En.Co..
Nevertheless his feet followed Gingetsu's long legs autonomously, up to the last closed door, it was lacquered in black, the room next to it was strangely bare, there was no secretary in sight, nor clients waiting for their turn.

"Sakurazuka chooses his clients in total autonomy, he hates boring people. Many ask for an appointment with him with the promise of mind-blowing checks, but he doesn't accept cases that are not interesting in his opinion. Sumeragi, stay in your place and Sakurazuka will be the best colleague you could ever want, one misstep and your life will be a living hell."

"Really comforting, Gingetsu-san."

The Supervisor smiled at him for a split second.
"If you ask your colleagues they'll tell you he's not a good man, but you don't have to care. He's a very good lawyer and that's what matters. That's all that should count. Don't let them walk all over you if you don't want to get kicked out."
Gingetsu knocked on the door and entered the dimly lit office without waiting for an invitation, which hadn't arrived anyway.

"Sakurazuka" was folded over a desk incredibly full of books and documents, he seemed completely intent on browsing through a heavy bundle of paperwork, he hadn’t even bothered looking up at the newcomers. Although the rest of the room was pitch black, the only light came from a desk lamp, which completely illuminated the man's concentrated face.
He had dark hair, wide thin eyeglasses and a perfectly straight nose.
Even if wrapped in a suit different from that of his memories, Subaru could’ve recognized that figure anywhere.

"Seishiro!"

The man stopped the movements of his fingers before lifting himself from his tense position.
"It's my name."

Seishiro was exactly as Subaru remembered him, but on the other hand... even if a little over a year had passed, the youngest could never forget that elegant and distinguished man who had offered him a drink that evening, at the University bar.
A little thing maybe.
A moment like any other of ruthless flirting, two more drinks offered and an invitation to the house of the man Subaru knew just by his first name.

A trifle, perhaps.
He was wrong to accept that invitation, the younger boy knew it, however-
Seishiro had offered him just one more drink, just one sip, before taking the glass from his hands and hiding a victorious smile on Subaru's trembling lips.
Victorious, yes.
With his magnetic eyes digging into him, Subaru hadn't had the strength to raise any of his usual gentle walls between them.

The only thing-
The only thing he’d managed to say-
No , to whisper out of breath, pleading and blinded by his own overwhelming desire for release-
"Please..."

Please.

Please, please go easy on me, please be gentle, please don't disappear, please don't go away after taking this oh, so important part of me.

Of course.
None of this had come out of Subaru's lips and the sentence remained suspended, broken, devoured by quick gestures and guttural moans.
Seishiro couldn't have heard what Subaru hadn’t even said and therefore-

He did everything he wanted.
He took what he wanted.
And then-

"You should go. I have to work."

Of course.
What a fucking irony.

His new colleague, Sakurazuka-san, was also Seishiro, the only person Subaru ever slept with.
Just hilarious.

"Do you know each other?"
Gingetsu didn't bother taking off his sunglasses even in the dark room, it was ridiculous, it was all so ridiculous that Subaru was about to-

"I suppose not. But if you brought him here it’s because he's my new secretary? Asahi was too airheaded for her own good, I was scared she’d cut her finger by sharpening a pencil."

Subaru felt an icy veil envelop him, not- Seishiro didn't recognize him.
But…
A man like him... would captivate anyone, who knows how many... how many boys like Subaru, who knows... how many-
The younger one clenched his jaw, cleared his mind, made a decisive step forward and stretched his own hand towards the other, with a convinced smile.
"Sumeragi Subaru, pleased to meet you. Unfortunately for you I am not your new secretary, but I will be just a colleague. I will make up for the places Ichihara-san and Reed-san will leave vacant, I’ll work hard to make sure I’ll earn a place in this magnificent Firm."

Sakurazuka had shaken his hand uncertainly before shrugging and going back to rummaging through the folders.

That was it.

Nothing happened.
Subaru nodded to Gingetsu before heading out of that stuffed office, it was just a coincidence, that’s okay, these things happen.

Things
just
happen.

Subaru squeezes the pen until the plastic creaks slightly.

Why is he thinking about it now?
Why is he thinking about his first day on the job, almost a year and a half ago?

Becoming a lawyer was his dream, he worked harder than all his colleagues in the master's degree, he worked hard during his internship for Clamp En. Co., President Daidouji noticed him, he even received a letter of recommendation from his previous handler Kudo, and entered one of the leading Kanto law firms at the age of 25.

He’s never been a fool.
Even Yuuko-san smiled at him before leaving.
She wasn't kidding when she said he would be her new slave, Subaru did everything, everything in his power to at least earn Yuuko-san's consideration.

He still doesn't know what President Daidouji saw in him, at the point of hoping he would truly replace two main pillars like Ichihara-san and Reed-san.
But thanks to them he learned what it means to focus, to pull out his nails and fight for his clients blinded by anger, pain, frustration.

He learned it on his first day.
Love, after all, is war, Subaru thought.

"Sumeragi-san?"

"Yes, Miyuki-chan."
Subaru blinks and smiles at his awkward young secretary.

"I thought you should know before all... Sakurazuka-san is willing to accept a new client."

The young man sighs and tightens his light tie around his neck, Seishiro accepts very few clients a year, although he regularly comes to work every day, Subaru doesn’t really see him around the office.
Weirdly, it's like if he always has a case to work on, he hasn't found a new secretary yet, Miyuki takes care of sending away the most annoying clients of both.
Otherwise…
They are two complete strangers.

"He won the latest case only yesterday."

Miyuki nods and removes the notepad from her chest before looking at it with her usual piercing eyes.

"Mr. and Mrs. Imonoyama, President Daidouji-san's in-laws. It was a particularly difficult case of separation of property, you can imagine."

Subaru nods again, crossing his legs and moving the chair slightly to interface with his secretary.
"It was on everyone’s tongue here in recent months, Seishiro-san personally asked Nokoru-san to be entrusted with the case and he accepted, smiling. I've never seen such a sad smile."

Miyuki nods with a quivering lip, in the firm, they’ re all... incredibly fond of him.
Nokoru is the golden boy of the Imonoyama family, his lineage is one of the richest in the whole of Japan, as well as the founder of the very prestigious Clamp School, an avant-garde Comprehensive Institute that also attended numerous lawyers present at Clamp En. Co..
Nokoru's wealth is something secondary if compared to his incredible intelligence, his actual value, that led him to work for the Japanese government more than once and they even wanted him to NASA, making his name internationally accredited.
The boy is greeted by excited crowds of his admirers in every place he visits, like a movie star, and when he visits his future bride's Firm, he never forgets to bring gifts and flowers to all the women of Clamp En. Co., including collaborators and external staff.
Nokoru and Tomoyo have been engaged since they were eight and five years old, their families have been linked for generations, a marriage to establish this bond was only the next step.
Despite everything, the two seem to genuinely love each other, and it’s a joy to see them walking around the Firm linked by hands or arms.

"He passed by Sakurazuka-san's office this morning, and then he came to say hi to me. He didn't forget that time I told him I love Lewis Carroll's novel, he reserved a table for two for that beautiful restaurant here in Shinjuku, Alice in a Magical Land. He told me to bring whoever I want, and I was thinking about Sakura-chan."
Miyuki bends her head trying to cover the blush on her cheeks with her long brown hair.

Subaru smiles at her calmly.
"Daidouji-san's personal assistant?"
Spending most of your day at work does not guarantee everyone the chance to find someone to pass your free time with, so it’s not uncommon for love and friendships to arise in their workplace, there is no policy to prevent this.

"She'll probably say no-"

"On the contrary. Sakura-chan seems like a nice person to me, and she's very cute. I bet she'll be happy to spend time with a good girl like you.
Nokoru as always never forgets to make others happy, before himself."

Miyuki nods cheerfully. Having dinner in a themed restaurant, what a nice thought...

"Oh, I just came to inform you, Sumeragi-san. Sakurazuka-san took his time to warn me about his intentions and it's... rare for him to say to me about something like that, maybe- maybe he wanted me to let you know somehow. So here I am. I also wanted to confirm your 11:45 a.m. appointment. Ohjiro-san from the reception confirmed the car coming was your client’s."

Subaru looks at his watch.
11:31, she came before time, as always.
He hopes to make some progress with her, lately... he can't align perfectly with his clients, so he feels nervous and drained.
He can't wait for tonight, he promised Hokuto a drink, he seriously hopes to get there as quickly as possible.

He retrieves the folder dedicated to the 11:45 meeting and exits his cramped office to reach an adjacent room, formerly used mainly by Reed-san for exchanges with clients.
On the tenth floor there are several rooms which in the past were part of the empire of the Divorce Aces, those that were not occupied by Seishiro or Kanoe, are now all abandoned.

Miss Kishu is already waiting for him inside the room.
She's standing and turning her back in favor of the large window overlooking a crowded Shinjuku, but Subaru can already guess her mood.

"Kishu-san, it's always a pleasure.
Please take a seat, Miyuki-chan is making us some tea, she'll be here shortly."

The woman turns her head slightly and glares at him, despite her, Subaru tries not to drop his conciliatory smile.
He mentally prepares himself for her words.

"And after that... I found him with cigarettes in his hand and yet he told me he quitted smoking!"

Subaru raises his eyebrows.
"That's all?"

The woman seems to be shaking with anger. “No!” she spits out. The elegance of the designer suit, the golden rings on the fingers, the neat bangs, they all seem to melt in the tremors of her body.
"My mother was sick with lungs for a long time before she died and he knew it!"

Subaru nods and looks down at the documents again.
He loves this job.
Yes, he really loves it.

"-Let's never forget that he tried to throw a plate at me! A plate!"

He sighs.
"Kishu-san forgive me, but just yesterday you told me that you tried to hit him first with an ancient sword belonging to your family temple."

The young woman bangs her hand on the table forcefully making their tea cups tremble.
"That's not the point! Women are delicate flowers."

"At this point I think the delicate flower is her soon-to-be-ex-husband."

"Is Sumeragi-san trying to pissing me off?"

Arashi Kishu is a beautiful woman.
He thought it immediately as soon as she walked through the doors of his office.
Now he's a little scared.

"Absolutely not, Madam! No, no ma'am!"
Subaru raises his hands trying to smile, never in a million years would he bet on a career as a divorce lawyer, dealing with broken hearts is more complex than foreclosures and injunctions.

The woman brushes her long black hair from one shoulder and sighs without losing her typical frown.
"In any case, it's water under the bridge, I want to leave Sorata and I want to do it without our family members getting in the way."

Subaru quickly writes a note and without thinking he asks in a whisper:

"The family members would be those of the sword right?"
A new blow to the table makes him jump.

"Sumeragi-san if you keep whispering like that I'll use my sword on you too."

"No, no, what do you mean, I'm your lawyer, it was just a question, to scrape up new notes, I... absolutely! Absolutely, I didn't want to offend you!"

"Now we agree."

He sighs slowly, happy to avoid the danger, finishes his report, dismisses his client and looks at his watch.
It's past lunchtime, and his office looks even smaller and darker to him.
If he wants to gain a bigger office, with even a window… he has to win this case, absolutely!
He needs to prove to Gingetsu that he’s worthy of the role assigned to him.

"Ahhh, I heard such sweet tones coming from here."

Subaru jumps, slowly turning towards the persuasive voice, not finding any comfort from the female figure that curves sinuously against its door.
"Kanoe-san... we troubled you, I’m so sorry."

"So formal, Subaru, you hurt me."
The woman rests the back of her hand on her forehead with a swoon-worthy manner as always, with her perfectly fitting suits and bizarre ways, she reminds Subaru of one of those femme fatales from vintage movies.

"After all... we only meet in the corridors."
Subaru narrows his eyes, ever since Kanoe was hired as a new divorce attorney, taking possession, unceremoniously, of Yuuko-san's office, she always seems to be conspiring something.

"That's right, but this useless tradition is about to be broken.
Tonight Seishiro and I are going to have a drink at the Main, come with us."

He got a shiver hearing Kanoe use Seishiro's name without an honorific, but probably... Sakurazuka and Kanoe must be friends by now, who knows how, but Subaru manages to picture them perfectly, while they are plotting in the shadows drunk and charming in some high class bar of the city.
"It's not a request, I guess?
I'm sorry but I have to decline anyway, I already have a date tonight."

Kanoe selflessly wades her red-lacquered nails as if they were actually more important than Subaru's statement.
"Your sister Hokuto, yes. I'm sure she won't be angry if you ask her to postpone your date, on the contrary, she'll probably be happy to know you’re out, having fun with your dear colleagues."

Subaru is now really imagining his twin howling, happy to know he’s engaging in some social relationship.
He shakes his head a little.
"How do you know I was going to see my sister?"

"My dear boy, every day you’re the first to arrive here and the last to leave. Even Miyuki-chan lets you check that all the doors here at the 10th are closed, the lights out, etc. the only relationship you can keep is with your sister and your pillow."

Kanoe lets her long hair slip off her shoulder, in the early afternoon light her crafted jewels seem to shine, precious.

Subaru sighs as he clicks the pen.
"I'll text my sister."

The woman snaps her fingers and smiles, perfect! she exclaims before leaving, Subaru just can't get her.
Despite Kanoe’s cold appearance, she is an extremely intelligent and sensitive woman, he found himself several times with her at lunch, or in the smoking area, and it happened that they shared lazy thoughts and meaningful silences.

"I think... Seishiro will be happy to see you."
Kanoe turns her head a little, retracing her steps for a second, in a jingle of jewels. She looks serious, a little thoughtful, the lipstick that dyes her curved lips is as dark and shiny as her eyes.

"Why are you saying that? We've never- really ever talked to each other. It’s not long since you've worked here, but you seem to know Seishiro-san better than I do. I don't think... we’ve much in common."
Subaru pushes his palm over his right eye, pretends to rub it, but in reality he just wants to hide his face.
Nobody knows what happened between the two of them.
And the truth is…
Pretending it never happened has become so normal that Subaru begins to believe it really is.
With his own introverted and closed nature... would Subaru really accept the advances of a fascinating and unknown man in a bar?
A couple of drinks and two flirty sentences... did it take so little to destroy his walls?
Nah.

Subaru smiles to himself, dropping his arm on his lap.
Maybe it was all a vision, a lucid dream, after all it's been so long, and Subaru felt so alone at the time…
The idea of being interesting to someone... of being beautiful, desirable, important- for someone... even just for a night…
But-
Desire and dream must have mixed, and his... must have been a vision.
Yes, it is, it must be.

"He told me you surely suffer from being in such a small office, without a window."

"What?"
The younger man widens his eyes, and  Kanoe smiles at him calmly.
"He caught you more than once smoking in the consulting room, with your head out the window."

"No... no... I... I know it's forbidden, but-"

"Nobody's going to snitch on you, don't worry. Seishiro just told me, and then we never talked about it again. He wouldn't have said such a meaningless thing if he didn't find you interesting. That's why I think... he'll be happy to see you tonight."

Interesting?
Subaru rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, sure. I've already agreed for tonight, you don't have to keep going."

"I’m relieved, I ran out of arguments."
Kanoe turns his back on him without a greeting

As expected Hokuto wasn't sorry at all about their canceled date, she replied with a very excited yayyyy!!!! and several heart-shaped emojis and for a moment Subaru wondered if he shouldn't feel offended.
He took advantage of the last hour of usual 7:00 p.m. calm to go to the toilet with his beauty bag, biting his lip at the sight of his shiny and tired skin. He used a cleansing wipe to wash away the foundation residue and then took the moisturizing cushion he usually brings to work and wiped it over his face again.
In another moment he wouldn't have cared.

"I think... Seishiro will be happy to see you."

Subaru blinks.
This is nonsense.
It's just a drink with a couple of coworkers he doesn't even know well.
That sentence struck him but it's not that- well, that doesn't mean anything.
Subaru doesn't know Seishiro, he’s never dated him, Seishiro certainly not a friend or an acquaintance, they’ve never really talked, except for... that time.

He closes the clutch bag and goes to his office, Kanoe's door and Seishiro's are strictly closed, but Kanoe has asked him to keep himself ready.

"Sumeragi-san? Are you going out?"
Miyuki looks astonished at him putting on his overcoat and carrying the briefcase as he closes the door behind him.
"I'm off now, right?"

His young secretary nods and puts on her coat unsure.
"Are you going somewhere nice?"

"Only at the Main for a drink with Kanoe-san and Sakurazuka-san."

"The Main! It's so elegant, I'm happy! Sakurazuka-san and Kanoe-san are regular customers, I've heard they make the best cocktails in Shinjuku there!"
Miyuki seems to light up for some strange reason, she slips her leather backpack over her shoulders and picks up the keys to the 10th floor from her desk.

"You shouldn't know about drinking at your age."

"I'm twenty! Besides, my grandpa always made me taste some of his soju at dinner."

"Always full of energy, Miyuki-chan."
The girl nods when she sees Kanoe join them in the corridor, Subaru can't focus too much on the bright red coat that wraps her body because Seishiro is just one step behind her.

He wears a black trench coat long beyond the calves. His suit is also dark, the only point of light are the thick gold-rimmed glasses and his also golden eyes. Subaru had thought that time... that he’d never seen such deep and beautiful eyes.
Even though it was all a dream...

"I hope you brought your credit cards, I'm going to get us drunk tonight!"
Seishiro smiles at the woman’s whisper with a cheeky of course, before turning to Subaru.
"So, you coming?"

Subaru's made sure for so long to avoid his colleague's gaze, but-
"Sure."
-when he feels Seishiro's hands resting on his shoulders he finds himself bowing his head.

"As expected, Seishiro was happy to see you."

"How can you tell? He hasn't spoken a single word to me."

Kanoe smiles at him, but Subaru is too busy glaring at his colleague's thick shoulders, who’s ordering another round of Japanese whiskey for all three of them.

"Considering that he’s talking so freely... he's not usually that sociable with other people."

"Neither are you."
Subaru sighs at Kanoe’s wink, they both go silent, while the woman reaches out to grab the whiskey that Seishiro was handing her.
"It's because I’m having fun. Cheers!"

The woman loses some of her proverbial austerity under the soft lights of the Main Bar, sitting at the tables not far from them there are some sporadic customers, they are all exhausted and tipsy businessmen, with their ties loose and the leather briefcases next to theirs feet.
Subaru’s head is spinning, he closes his eyes and rubs them vigorously.
"Maybe... I’d better go."

Seishiro grabs his wrist on the table and bends whispering over the soft music that invades the elegant environment.
"We've been here for less than an hour."
"I've already had too much to drink."
Subaru clenches his fist and pulls away his colleague's grip, it's not really the alcohol that worries him, with Hokuto he can resist well beyond a few drinks, it's that man.
The last time he drank with Seishiro next to him...

"I have my car, don't worry, you don't have to walk back. I was already going to escort Kanoe, she’ll probably have a hard time walking."
They both turn to their colleague who looks amazed by her own jewelry, she caresses the golden pendant of her necklace, what remains of her whiskey, gin and flute of champagne they took as soon as they reached the Bar, lie empty and opaque on the table.

"Kanoe-san... she's always in full control, I've never seen her like this."

"If you go out with us more often you wouldn't miss the show."
Seishiro lights his third cigarette of the evening, I love the Main because smoking is allowed inside, he said as soon as he entered, with his hands already inserted in the pack, this time Subaru joined him lighting his own cigarette.
"She's a very attractive woman..."
"Uhm, yes, if that's your thing."
Subaru clenches his teeth on his own cigarette butt, why he said that, he shouldn’t- he-
He hears Seishiro’s subtle laugh, the man is now puffing smoke in his direction, he looks perfectly present at himself, despite the shochu and the whiskey ingested, he rests his elbows on the armrests of his rigid chair as if he was in his element.
"Yes, if she’s your thing... a beautiful woman like Kanoe... sensual, elegant, intelligent, a hard worker with an unbridled passion for jewelry and tailor made suits... who would ever want such a woman?"

"That wasn't what I meant."
Subaru leans over, letting his bangs cover his eyes as he takes a deep drag from his cigarette.

"I know what you meant."

How- do you know?
What do you mean... you know?
Subaru... he was so careful, he never spoke- he didn't say a word about his private life at work, let alone to Seishiro, what-
No.
He doesn't want to talk about it.
"You do not know anything about me."

"Why don't we reverse your statement, huh? Tell me something I don't know about you."

Seishiro looks intently at the ceiling as if Subaru wasn't even there, what- he should tell him…
"I have a twin sister named Hokuto-"

"I already know that, don't bore me with circumstantial sentences."

The younger one takes a drag on his cigarette trying to clear his mind and glares at his collegue with his brow furrowed.
"When I'm home I wear sweatshirts and T-shirts two or three sizes bigger.
And I like... being hugged."

"Oh, that's interesting. - Seishiro reaches out to grab Subaru's backrest and lean towards him. - May I do the math? Your lover gives you his clothes before hugging you and kissing you passionately..."
"I don't have a lover."
"Bullshit."

Subaru leans towards the man, barely holding back his anger.
"Why you say so?"

"Your body, your eyes... yeah your eyes would already be enough. - Seishiro grabs Subaru’s jaw and makes their noses almost touch. - But you're not just a pretty face, am I right? Sumeragi family’s one of the most influential here in Tokyo but you still attended public university, it means that you like to challenge yourself, you want to gain your success with your hands, to earn your merits... in short, you have a nice head, which has bought you a place at the firm and a substantial steady pay-check. If only you weren't attracted to men... by now you would already have a wedding ring on your finger and a couple of toddlers on your lap."

Subaru widens his eyes and for a moment he’s completely stuck in that mocking golden gaze.
He has time to forcefully move away from Seishiro’s grip, going back to hiding his eyes from behind his bangs and his pounding heart with the slumped posture.
"You don't know anything about me."

"And yet you haven’t contradicted me even once.” Seishiro quietly settles himself in his seat, reaching for his almost extinguished cigarette to take one last drag. “I know you want a bigger office, with a nice mahogany desk and a large window on Shinjuku’s view. I know that every night you are the last to leave the office ‘cause more than working on your cases, you’re working on your obsession with self-affirmation."
Seishiro's tone is neutral and disinterested as before, Subaru on the other hand is still bent over, hugging his chest, crumpling his shirt and tie with one hand.
"You know nothing."

"I know we've all seen something in you.
We've seen it, starting with Daidouji-san, but you're disappointing us. You're good, but you're struggling. You have to get colder, cunning, faster thinking, spit on your good education and you will unlock your new life."

Subaru's breathing heavily, as if he's been talking the whole time, as if he's been screaming, as if- he's not just repeating a now meaningless sentence.
"You know-"

"-nothing? Ah! - Seishiro snorts a short, hollow laugh - No, you don't have a lover. Even when you're drunk you can't say out loud that you like men, let alone sleep with one of them, nah."
The man watches the butt of his cigarette lie motionless in the ashtray as if considering whether to light another cigarette, he seems to think about it when he notices Kanoe slumped, dozing in his chair.
"We'd better go. Tonight is on me, I've grinded you up good, but the next is on you."
Seishiro gives him a brief pat on his shoulder to make him get up, but Subaru can't even look him in the eyes as he picks up his stuff and Kanoe's purse.
On his way back Seishiro asks a helping hand to put on Kanoe’s coat on her and without batting his eyes, he takes the woman in his arms and walks towards the exit.

Who’s waiting for Kanoe at the door of a large building is her sister Hinoto, a woman with a particularly petite appearance, made more tender by the white yukata she wears to sleep.
"As always, thank you for your care and concern, Sakurazuka-san."
With a deep bow and her half-asleep sister under her arm, little Hinoto ends the conversation without another word.

"Her hair isn't dyed, that woman is 62."

"W-what?"
Subaru holds his breath, still looking at the closed door before following Seishiro towards the elevator.
"Even theirs was an important family... their relatives carried on business in the Diet Building’s underground, out of common citizens' sight, they’ve made a name for themselves over many years. But now Kanoe and Hinoto are the last ones alive, two women who can't pass their last name... "

"Why are you telling me this? It's personal information, Kanoe-san wouldn't want- "
"Professional secret, right?"
Seishiro raises his index finger and smiles at him calmly, he looks like another person, totally someone else than the cold and cynical professional that his colleagues have always painted for him.
Maybe... he's messing with him... or maybe- he just drank too much?
As he follows Seishiro’s fluttering coat, Subaru thinks that even if it costs him to admit it, getting out of his numbness to face even something as simple as a drink with his colleagues, is something that makes him feel lighter.
The phone vibrates in his pocket.

Not back yet, huh? 🧐 Has the charming Sei-chan won you over yet? 🥰 

He smiles.
It was so good to live in the illusion that his life would always be like this.
Work, and the unconditional love of his sweet sister... yes, he believed it would be enough.
But now-
He opens the car door and blinks to clear his mind and heart.
"Are you tired?"

"Why?"
Seishiro is in front of him, watching him from above the roof of the car, curious.

"I was wondering if you'd like to get one last drink at my place."
In another moment Subaru would have been stunned at his own words, he would have blushed, he would have stammered, he would have pronounced those words, yes, but he wouldn't have kept that cold tone, his voice so calm.
Maybe he doesn't feel completely like himself.
‘Cause when Seishiro just nods, Subaru doesn't look down, he doesn’t think of anything, he just sets up the navigator on his phone and they go, the last lights of Nakano chasing each other out the window as the radio announces the next single from pop singer Yama.

Nostalgic notes fill the cockpit and it seems to him almost an ordinary evening, an ordinary day with a long time friend.
A comfortable and calm silence surrounds them, rather than drinking more he would want a nice hot bowl of udon, and perhaps-
If Seishiro was seriously a longtime friend, Subaru could ask him to cook it together, before inviting him to stay for a night's sleep.
But Seishiro is not his friend.

Shinjuku envelops them, bright and dreary, dozing and partying, it's his adopted neighborhood, yet he’s never fully enjoyed it.
The streets are all the same for him, there’s no difference between the shopping mall and the small konbini, he doesn't know where to eat the best ikayaki or the traditional yakisoba, the real one, just like grandma used to cook it on holidays…
If Seishiro was his friend he would tell him- yeah, Subaru would simply tell him: “You know, aside from my sister, I've never had anyone to love... do you want to experience this city to the fullest with me?”

He smiles at himself as he wakes up from that vision.
But Seishiro is not his friend.

Subaru wipes the badge to open the gate to an indoor car park he doesn't use and lets his colleague take the park spot 21A.
He holds the internal door open for Seishiro and waits to see him enter before turning towards the elevator.
He looks at the man sideways in the small illuminated lift that takes them up to the fifth floor: Seishiro’s black hair is a bit messy, his jaw is hard, his shoulders thick, he’s towering in his elegant suit, with his bright and determined eyes…
If Subaru had allowed himself to think of someone to be attracted to, he would’ve been someone like Seishiro.

"Sorry for the mess, I don't usually have any guests."
Subaru says it casually as he invites Seishiro in, takes his coat and shows him a pair of slippers to wear, Subaru knows well that he’s a person who cares a lot about cleanliness and order, his flat is actually spotless, but it’s small, lit by tiny warm led lamps, it’s no different from many others apartments used by businessmen, but somehow he has the impression that Seishiro owns a much bigger and more beautiful apartment than this one. Subaru doesn't want to stay under the inquisitive look of his colleague, so he reaches the fridge and takes out a half-empty bottle of white Martini and without asking he fills two glasses and garnishes them with three green olives each.

"Thank you."
Seishiro makes sure to touch his fingers when he squeezes the cold glass that the host offers him, but Subaru represses a shiver and takes a long sip of the fragrant liquid.
The only noise in the room is the ticking of the clock hanging just below the TV-screen.

If Seishiro was a friend Subaru would’ve asked him to sit on the cream-colored sofa and watch Mezamashi TV with him until their eyes get heavy and fatigue takes over.
Perhaps if Seishiro had been his closest friend then his toothbrush would’ve been in the bathroom alongside Subaru’s own.
There would’ve also been Seishiro’s toothbrush, his towel, a striped pajama to sleep in, and a pair of slippers of his own- maybe a razor... a face cream... his perfume, the one that’s embracing him right now, suffocating, it permeates every corner of the apartment.
The weight of his own lonely existence falls upon him and Subaru for the first time yearns for the little joys of sincere friendship like any other person.
The idea of having someone who cares about you not out of obligation, out of blood ties, out of pity, or out of superficiality... but simply because you are special to him... that idea... makes his stomach tight and his eyes burning-
The glass is taken away from his hands and he feels the lips of the older man brush against his own.

It looks like a deja-vu, it really looks like it, Seishiro's perfume smells the same as it was years ago, his soft and rough lips, even his hands that hold him by the hips are the same, hesitant but firm.

True, it looks like a deja-vu, but this time Subaru isn’t a virgin, he’s not twenty, isn't both scared and fascinated by this mysterious and seductive man. This time Subaru knows what to do; he knows he has to open his mouth and let Seishiro invade it with his tongue, he knows he has to caress the other’s shoulders and then squeeze them, he knows that he has to bend his head at the right moment to be able to take a breath that looks so much like a moan.

This time Subaru knows what to do to fill the hole that burns in his chest, he ignored it for so long, he ignored for years his own sense of inadequacy, the one that distanced him from whoever approached, but now that's enough.

"Come with me."
Subaru pulls him forward by the sleeve of his jacket, hears him chuckling and moving lightly on the wooden floor, surely Seishiro has much more experience than him, but in this moment Subaru doesn't care, he just wants... to feel like his dearest one- the most loved one- that Seishiro has ever had.

Subaru reaches for the lamp switch on the small desk, there’s not much to see, his room is simple, a queen size bed covered in a light cream quilt, a chest of drawers of the same color and a chair placed under the desk.
He fears that even just staring at his room for a few more seconds Seishiro will notice how anonymous and empty Subaru’s life is, so he tightens the other's white collar and forces Seishiro’s lips on his own, swallows a moan along with their saliva, he feels so hot, but at the same time he’s freezing, loneliness grips him like never- never before.

Subaru moves his hands frantically around the other's neck, looses his tie, pushes his jacket off and works on his shirt buttons while continuing to kiss him on the jaw and neck, Seishiro is so hot, and instead Subaru is almost chattering his teeth, he wants to steal that warmth, he wants to feel really alive.

"Easy... easy..."
Seishiro blocks his wrists and for a moment Subaru stops breathing.
He drops his head on Seishiro's chest, let the older one caress his hair, touch his hips and still his palms right above the belt.
Seishiro waits until he hears Subaru's heartbeat slow down his mad rush, in that moment he starts to undress him and guide him to lie down on the bed, he never loses sight of him as he gets rid of his clothes too, Seishiro makes sure to keep his smile neutral, stable hands, the younger boy still looks shaky, but his eyes are alert and shiny.

Seishiro bends over him, squeezes his neck and gently lifts it, and there is no trick, there’s no malice or coldness in his golden eyes.
"It's okay Subaru, you’re with me.
I would never hurt you, you’re with me."

Subaru shouldn't calm down at those words.
He shouldn't squeeze Seishiro’s torso tighter with his legs, he shouldn't hiss from their hard dicks sliding wet, nor should he indulge the slow and deep kiss that Seishiro is giving him.
Being with Seishiro isn’t an assurance of anything.
Far from it.

Yet his lips tingle when Seishiro's mouth leaves him to rest on his chest, his nipples harden under his moist cuddles, his thighs tremble when Seishiro squeezes that sensitive spot one last time between his teeth before getting off again, making Subaru open his legs but will he... his heart jumps in his throat when he sees Seishiro look up at him and smile.

The older man bypasses his hard on before moving to his testicles.
Subaru can't hold back his moans while Seishiro squeezes them, licks them, massages them, his head throbs with pleasure and he feels one step away from coming.
"I do- ah, don't - I won’t hold back any longer."

"I'll be quick then."
Seishiro's voice vibrates against his intimacy, Subaru feels so wet, he feels the need to tighten his legs and cover himself up but at the same time he wants to open them completely, separate his buttcheeks and show his deepest point to the other, begging Seishiro to enter him, just bury his heavy cock in him and never leave.

"Tell me you have the lube with you..."

Subaru opens his eyes just in time to see Seishiro take a condom out of his wallet, yes... yes, they have to be careful, they have to-
"It's in the top drawer of the nightstand...” He bites his lip. He should tell him, he should tell Seishiro. Now he has to take a breath and… “I'm a virgin." He has to keep his eyes closed.

A couple of sirens sound in a nearby street, someone yells something, but a few moments of noise are replaced by a new welcoming silence.

"No, that’s not true."
The sound of the opened lube fills the room, Seishiro pushes his wet fingers inside him and Subaru gasps, memories of that time chase each other in his head, that man was so charming, so full of confidence, and Subaru... he couldn't even hold that man’s gaze without blushing.

Such a beautiful person... talkative, intelligent... wouldn’t ever approach someone like Subaru, those drunken memories... they can't - they can't be true.
"It’s true! I'm- ah! I've... I've always been alone."
He swallows a sob, tears burn his eyes, but his body burns with each new touch, he wants more, he wants it now, he’s tired of suffering...

Seishiro's fingers become four inside him before being pushed out completely.
"That's not true.
Because I remember you... Subaru-kun."

The younger man bites his lip hard to try to regain some clarity, the tears and the dim light prevent him from telling the expression of the man above him, yet... his tone of voice... so delicate. Could it be that…
"Wasn't it all a dream?"
He closes his eyes when Seishiro bends over to leave him a kiss on the forehead.
"My little Subaru-kun..."

"Seishiro-san..."
He blows a laugh with his chest full of joy, Seishiro remembers him, it really happened, Subaru hasn’t always been alone, there was a moment in which he wasn’t, even if only for a moment-
"Ah! Ahh..."
He widens his eyes as the pain of penetration invades him, pushes his face against the chest of the other and clings to his shoulders with all his strength, he feels his ribcage shaking, as if he couldn't contain the sobs, the sighs, the moans, yet none of this comes out of Subaru's mouth, his throat is tight, the memories of the first days of work at Clamp En. Co. invade his mind, and Seishiro... the same Seishiro who pronounced his name so sweetly before pushing himself into him...

Seishiro ignored him.

And he kept pretending not to know him for months, leaving Subaru in confusion and doubt, after all... that Seishiro, the sweet Seishiro of his evanescent memories couldn't be the same Sakurazuka Seishiro who treated him coldly and sufficiently.

"You’re so tight, Subaru-kun."

Yet…
Subaru stretches his legs to wrap the hips of the other silently asking him to push even deeper, his heart bursts as he feels the friction diminish as his body accepts the love of someone known and dear.
"Ah! Again! Seishiro-san, again, again, there! There, please!"

Memories fade, but Subaru's body hasn’t forgotten.
It opens like the petals of a freesia blossom kissed by the rays of a winter sun, pale yet incredibly warm.

Subaru starts stroking his own erection with his eyes closed, he clings to the solid body of the other man, panting on that sweaty skin, it’s all so-
incredible.

He smiles.
The world swirls around him, his arms ache, the rest of his body is numb, Subaru can feel the other's aura shift, he can hear Seishiro’s words, his gasps as he jerks off his own pleasure in the condom.

"I'm- sorry." Subaru whispers. 
-if I came before you, if I thought only about myself, just chasing my own release, if I didn't have the strength to offer you a wank or-

"Don't worry. It was good."
Seishiro takes his hand and brings the back of it to his lips, Subaru smiles in front of such a sweet gesture, and accepts the cigarette that his colleague offers him, but he feels drained, he even struggles to inhale, he just keeps his eyes closed, to enjoy the pleasure of the other's company.

"Do you want to... stay here for the night?"
Subaru chuckles when he feels himself being hugged from behind by Seishiro, he enjoys the pleasure of that enveloping warmth, of the sweetness of the other’s kisses on the shoulder, of the delicacy with which the older one slips the cigarette from Subaru’s fingers and then puts it out of the ashtray next to the bed, what happens if you fall asleep and a fire starts? Seishiro says, but Subaru is no longer listening to him.

Subaru wants to cook some eggs benedict for breakfast, accompanied by a good cup of tea and a slice of the prepackaged cake that he keeps in the fridge.
He would like to see Seishiro smile relaxed between the bites, dressed in too tight clothes borrowed from Subaru, yes, he would like to see him smile.
Subaru may ask him for advice on Kishu-san's troubled case, he would tell Seishiro about that sword handed down from the woman’s temple and the obvious love that still burns in her heart for her husband, Sorata-san.
And then...
Maybe- maybe... he could offer him a toothbrush and... a towel, all the things he needs for a shower, and then ask-

"Would you like... I would like it if..."
Subaru clears his throat with the help of a long sip of matcha tea, Seishiro looks at him amused, but waits patiently for Subaru to stop stammering with his face red.
"I don't know about you, but I'd like... to be able to consider you a friend."

Sitting in front of him, Seishiro widens his eyes, he keeps the lit cigarette steady between index and middle finger, that old baggy borrowed t-shirt that he’s wearing still seems incredibly tight on him.
"A friend?"

Subaru averts his eyes from the breakfast table in front of him to look up at the large window that lights up both the living room and the kitchen.
"I know that... maybe it will seem like a childish request to you, but I’ve never... well... apart from my family I’ve never been able to create real bonds anywhere and I would like... to be able to invite you out some other time, for a lunch maybe, or a simple walk."

"Friendship..."

"Yeah."
Subaru nods and waits patiently for Seishiro's face to turn from pensive to smiling.
And when it happens, Subaru’s heart leaps into his chest.

"I don't have many friends, so it’s fine with me."

Yes, Subaru's heart leaps into his chest, he is unable to bite his own smile, and even his eyes start to burn with happiness.
"Thank you."

"Come here."
Seishiro gestures for him to get up, Subaru pleases him, goes around the table and is a little surprised to be gripped by the hips by Seishiro's left arm; it's a weird hug, a bit crooked, and Subaru isn't sure whether to reciprocate that squeeze, but before he can think about it, the older one gets up and kisses him.
He’s simply pressing his lips firmly against Subaru's, his arm still tight around the younger’s hips and his right hand occupied by the smoking cigarette.
"I like how our friendship is starting."

Subaru nods, licking his lips, but his eyes are too focused on the full lips of the other to say a word, he just raises his head and this time he’s the one starting a new kiss. He moves his mouth a little more, waits to feel the tongue of the other stroking his upper lip before sighing and giving him access.
While their mouths chase each other, out of the corner of his eye Subaru notices Seishiro stubbornly putting out the cigarette in the crumb-stained ceramic plate, before pushing that same hand over Subaru's pajama bottoms.

"Seishiro-san, no... we have to go to work."
Subaru feels his face on fire as the fingers of the older begin to massage his aching opening.

"You're back to being as tight as before, huh?"

Subaru shakes his head against the other's chest, they can't... they can't be late, he never arrived late for work, he always showed up at the office before everyone else on the 10th floor, he always worked two, three times more harder than the others, and yet-
He bites Seishiro's shirt and starts rubbing his hips against the hard leg of the other.

His body is hot, he keeps his eyes tight, he can't stop thinking about the night just passed and how he felt... complete.
With Seishiro he finally felt... a whole.

"You're right, we better go."
Seishiro removes his hand from Subaru’s pants and moves away from him leaving only a short kiss on his forehead.

Subaru watches Seishiro turn around without hesitation, picking up his pack of cigarettes and heading to the bathroom.
"I'm taking a shower, okay?" He says, and without waiting for a response from the host, he closes the bathroom door behind him.

But, Subaru thinks pushing a hand on his crotch, if Seishiro had been a good friend he wouldn't have left him like this, hard and sore.
He doesn’t want to think about it, they’re only at the beginning of this relationship, it’s normal not to be able to understand each other right away...

He needs a distraction, he clears the table, washes the dishes, cleans up the kitchen, he doesn’t think about anything while numbing himself in those routinary gestures, he eyes up the clock that strikes 6:32 in the morning, they still have some time.

"Subaru, could you come here for a minute?"
Seishiro's voice reaches him, as he walks towards the bathroom Subaru notices, in the back of his mind, that after last night the older man has once again dropped the honorific -kun.
Yet it sounded so sweet in those heated moments, now Seishiro is back to that excessive frankness of before, when he called him Subaru or Sumeragi, without much thought.

"I need a towel."
Seishiro lightly rubs his feet on the soft carpet just outside the shower, his head is bowed, his dripping hair covers his face and his hands rest on his damp hips.
Subaru's gaze stops on the surprisingly fair skin of the taller man, on the exposed veins of his forearms, his tense muscles, and then down to-
Seishiro sneezes and Subaru hurries away from the door to pick up a large towel for his gorgeous guest.

He should say that it's nothing he hasn't seen before, but it would be wrong. Last night Subaru was blindly aroused and he had a stomach full of whiskey, so Seishiro's dark figure from his memories is nowhere near comparable to his naked colleague standing in his bathroom, in the bright light of the day.

"Uhm, sorry for the wait."
He almost expects Seishiro to tease him for his uncertain hands and his red ears, yet the man doesn't look at Subaru, he just passes the towel over his lean body and unruly hair, before surpassing Subaru and leaving the bathroom.
The green eyed boy blinks in confusion.
Right before that and without even realizing it, he automatically raised his chin, he squinted his eyes, waiting for a kiss that didn't come.

Dazed, he reaches out and touches his shoulder where Seishiro grabbed him absently to move him out of the way.
A strange grip envelops his stomach, his mouth twists with disgust, he feels bile rising up in his throat, Subaru blames an unusually heavy breakfast, an evening spent mixing alcoholic drinks, a night spent making love.

His eyes widened.
What is happening?
Wasn't that what he wanted?
A friend... a good friend, an equal, someone who loved him, who cared-

"Subaru hurry up, we have a lot of traffic ahead."

The green eyed man turns towards the bedroom, Seishiro already has the trousers from the night before on, he’s trying to smooth his shirt as much as possible before moving on to the tie.

"Coming."
Subaru doesn't think about it.
He doesn't think about it while retracing the same gestures of the colleague at his side, he doesn't have time to pass the moisturizer on his arms and chest, nor to apply his favorite perfume, he perceives Seishiro's unsteadiness as if it came in waves.
"Are you ready?"
The man pushes his gilded glasses up his nose before walking to the door with the car keys in hand ready to put on his shoes at the entrance.

Subaru tightens his jacket, unsure.
"Yeah."

"Ahhhh, I knew it!"

"Hokuto, be careful!"

The sister sticks her tongue out before massaging the wagyu with pepper.
The rice is ready in the suyanki, Subaru's stomach is gurgling, while the excellent scent of beef in the pan invades the kitchen.
"Thirty seconds, please."
"I know, I know."

The conversation remains pending while both are busy for their dinner, in the still hot meat fat Subaru pours the rice and garlic, cooks them for a few minutes, turning the grains with chopsticks until he sees the rice part.

"Remember to put in the soy sauce."
Hokuto spies from his shoulder that Subaru is doing well, he doesn't trust him in the kitchen, fearing that life as a lonely and sad lawyer has reduced him to canned food and frozen products.
Which is not that far from reality.
But he’s still capable of making garlic rice.

After the wagyu has rested under the hungry eyes of the twins, Hokuto proceeds to cut the meat revealing a beautiful pink inside.
They fill the bowls with hot rice and sliced wagyu, while the tinier bowls with wasabi and soy sauce are already set on the table. Subaru takes off his apron and finally takes a seat in front of his sister, while the weariness of the day slips away.

"It smells amazing! I was starving!"
Hokuto unceremoniously dips the meat in the sauces and chews happily, the pink bow peeking out of her short hair seems to bounce on her head just as satisfied.
It had been a long time since they had dinner at home, despite the time spent at Clamp En. Co., Subaru felt compelled to stay at work late, which made it impossible to organize anything.

"I hope you brought me some prosecco for later!"
"Eh, just what I found at the konbini on my way here..."
"I hope it's not that alpaca shit again from last time."
Subaru shrugs his shoulders playfully, the last time they dined together Subaru had brought some Chilean dry wine he had found on sale at the konbini, it didn't go too well.

"At least it was cute, there was an alpaca on the label!"
"Ew." Hokuto sticks out his tongue in disgust, a facade that she can’t really keep on, she licks her greasy lips before filling her mouth with rice. "Ahh, it's really delicious."

And Subaru honestly appreciates that his sister waits to see him swallow the last bite of wagyu before striking again.
"I knew it was really that man, ever since you told me about him... I knew your colleague Sakurazuka was your dear Seishiro-san. Just as I knew it would only be a matter of time before you ended up in bed again."
"Hokuto..."
"I asked you to text me yesterday when you got home, but it was late and you still hadn't reached me, I knew it was because you two were together! Well, somehow it's romantic, isn't it?"

Subaru shrugs.
That morning at work not even Gingetsu commented on the fact that Seishiro and Subaru came to work together in the older man’s car, or that Seishiro had rather wrinkled clothes, only Kanoe told him in a neutral tone that it was not like him to drive around with messy hair.
But maybe you haven't had a chance to fix them up, I get it, the woman said flatly, as Subaru's ears turned red.

Seishiro reached his office and didn't leave it until the firm closed.

"I don't think I made a good impression on him... maybe- I'm not good at that, I think he hates me."
"I don't think so."
Hokuto squeezes his hand on the table, Subaru smiles softly, despite the noisy neon pink outfit paired with her make-up, his sister always seems so calm- always in control of the situation.

"I couldn't... do much. I was so shocked, I couldn't believe it was really Seishiro-san... he never gave me any sign all this time... I thought even if it really was him-"
"You would have been just one among many."

"Yes. - Subaru nods and sighs. - I even thought I imagined everything, maybe that day at the University bar... it never happened, maybe I was just imagining things. But tonight he confirmed everything to me, yes, he..."
"You said it was good for you, didn't you? I bet it was very good for him too.
From what you told me about your charming colleague he seems to me a very detached man, he would not have bothered to confirm an unspoken thought of yours, if you were really one among many others for him."
Subaru nods at his sister's words trying to figure out what could have gone wrong, they slept together and the next morning Seishiro agreed to be his friend, Subaru was so happy...

"Wait... you asked him to be your friend? After he warmed your bed?"
Hokuto barely holds back a laugh, she doesn't look at all almost-twenty-seven, probably it’s also for her nail art with Kuromi.

"You know that... I've never had real friends..."
"You have me."
"It’s-"
"-different. I know. But I think Seishiro wanted more than your friendship. You asked him to become your best friend while he was fingering you."
"Hokuto!"
Subaru hides his face in his hands, his sister shrugs instead.
"What? I believe he hates you a little for that, you ruined the morning mood!"
Hokuto chuckles as she carries their dishes to the dishwasher, the magenta tulle of her skirt trailing abundantly across the kitchen floor, following her good mood.

"Do you think he wants to become my... lov-"
"I think you need to get to know him better before calling him a friend, and we're even further away from the definition of a lover. For now he's just a colleague you've had a couple of hook-ups with, now it's up to you to work hard and earn his sincere affection."

Reluctantly Subaru finds himself nodding, his sister has a point, at that moment he felt so welcomed by the warmth of another person that he would have said anything to keep Seishiro close.

"Wait a few days before asking him out, just an evening with colleagues, like yesterday's, see how he reacts and how he behaves towards you."
Hokuto briefly holds him in a hug, despite being twins Subaru over the years has ended up growing more than her, now he’s able to rest his chin on her head and caress her hair.
"Thank you..."
"Come on, don't think about it now, enough of this clumsy virginal talk."
"I'm no longer... a virgin."
Subaru smiles feeling his cheeks getting warmer.

Hokuto widens her eyes and throws up her fists resembling a cat.
"And that thanks to one person only."

For a moment Subaru had the impression of seeing hairy cat ears sticking out of her head.

"Tachibana and I are having a hard time."
The man nods at his own words, he brings his cup of tea to his lips before turning towards the bright window, which shuts out the noises of Shinjuku.
Subaru was surprised that afternoon, when Miyuki knocked on his door out of breath, whispering that an insanely big man was demanding a consultation without an appointment.
He never would have thought that-

"You were Tachibana's classmate at University, weren't you? You're friends, I was hoping that..."
"I'm immensely sorry to disappoint you Sakura-san. Tachibana-san and I were just department colleagues, I wouldn't call him... well, I wouldn't really call him a friend."
Subaru scribbles something on his notebook just to keep his hands busy, he never thought that the insanely big man announced by Miyuki would introduce himself as Tachibana-san's husband.
Subaru hasn't seen him since their graduation day.

"Yet he has mentioned you often."
Despite the casual and informal clothes, Sakura looks perfectly comfortable in the stark and cold environment of the room where usually Subaru welcomes clients. Somehow... that man's posture, his legs crossed, his elbows on the back of the sofa, that particular hairstyle that collects his albino hair... everything about him screams extreme confidence, and then- Sakura's smile and those golden eyes, so detached…
They remind Subaru so much of him.
The lawyer clears his throat.
"I'm so pleased to hear that you left a positive impression on Tachibana-san and-"

"I never said you left a positive impression on him."
The potential client is potentially ignoring Subaru to take a long sip of tea from his teacup, which he holds from the rim with all his fingers.

"It's probably because we have two very different attitudes."
Subaru coughs slightly to sweep away the embarrassment and annoyance he feels, Tachibana for him was a fellow student like many others; Subaru shared several lessons with him and a few lunches in the canteen, maybe some light chat before an exam, or at the University bar, but somehow Subaru never managed to consider him a friend.

Tachibana was a very silent and reserved boy, despite being definitely smart, his attitude towards the Professors was simply not acceptable.
Chitose-sensei had to personally intervene to prevent Mihara-sensei from getting violent with Tachibana during the Constitutional Law exam.

"But he told me that you were the best in your class, and that by now you would surely be working for some important firm, and here you are. I just had to look for you on social media, my little orange blossom was right. Such a fancy environment..."
"Sakura-san, could you please... focus for a moment? I'm a divorce lawyer, not-"
"I know you don't deal with property crime, but while I'm here..."

Subaru shakes his head firmly and bends down to write a name and an email address on a scrap of paper.
"For your case I can suggest you move to the 4th floor, Kakei-san it's our Civil Law ace, I'm sure that-"

Sakura raises his voice slightly ignoring the paper Subaru hands him.
"I'll go. In the meantime, since I'm here and you are a relationship expert, I wanted to tell you that unfortunately Tachibana and I are having some issues..."

Subaru should probably interrupt Sakura right away and ask him politely to proceed to contact Kakei-san's secretary and make an appointment, but he… just looking at that man, completely unknown until that moment… just looking at his golden eyes that lose that cold confidence to become shiny with worry about his fragile bond, Subaru... cannot deny Sakura the comfort he needs.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure you will get over it by talking about the issue openly."
"Talk about it? Ah! You said you don't know Tachibana well, then you can't know how he is-"
"Stubborn. Cheeky. Cold. True, I didn't know him well, but a beautiful boy like him easily had all eyes on him, but I know for sure that no one really got his attention. He didn't have a lover or a close friend, he never had them, never wanted them. Knowing that in recent years he even got married... It came out like a shock to me. If you hatched Tachibana-san's sealed heart... you must be very special to him.
Different from everyone else."

Sakura's golden eyes widen deeply in amazement, not even his breath makes a sound in the completely silent room, the empty cup rests on the coffee table in front of his legs, next to the pile of documents he had brought to present his legal problem.

"I'm just... I'm just a personal assistant, I work with maikos... I'm just one of many."

"I wasn't talking about your job."
Subaru runs his index finger on his right eyelid, feeling he’s entering a complex situation. Contrary to what Sakura says, Subaru is not a relationship expert, he’s quite the opposite.

"Tachibana works for a Judge and I-"

"You are so special that Tachibana-san has chosen you as a life partner.
And if you feel... if you feel that words left unspoken are taking your husband away from you, then you have to talk to him.
At that time Tachibana-san always seemed so apathetic to me, as if he was expecting to be disappointed by everyone around him.
Don't give him that pleasure, Sakura-san.
Don't let him down, confirm yourself different from the others.
Face Tachibana-san, and you won’t lose him.”
His heart beats wildly in his chest.
Maybe he overdo it, afterall it's none of his business, he doesn't know this man and he doesn't even know Tachibana very well, he hasn't seen him in a long time and even then-

"Thank you, Subaru-san."
Sakura salutes him lifting the empty cup of tea, and stands up walking towards the door.
"I..."
"I'll contact Kakei-san's office as you suggested."

No, hold on, Subaru didn't have to interfere, maybe he said something wrong, if only…
"Sakura-san, I overdid it, I’m sorry, I-"

The taller man turns slightly with a smile, before opening the door.
"Subaru-san... I don't think being a divorce lawyer is really your thing."

Miyuki jumps on her feet and looks at both of them with worried eyes, Subaru slightly shakes his head at his secretary to calm her down, but he can't open his mouth...

"I'll give your regards to Tachibana, he'll be glad to know you're alright."
Sakura moves to the elevator without another word, the sliding doors swallow him and silence envelops the corridor again.

"Sumeragi-san..."

Subaru gets up from his chair and leaves the room without another word, walking wearily towards his darkened office.

"Sumeragi-san... did you lose... another potential client?"
Miyuki hugs her agenda against her chest, bites her lips, afraid she maybe said something wrong… but she looks more worried for Subaru than for the prestige of the lawyer Sumeragi.
Subaru raises his chin and turns around to ask Miyuki another question.
"Is Sakurazuka-san in his office? He’s alone or there’s a client with him?"
The young secretary shakes her long light hair, there is no one with him, she says in a whisper.
Subaru nods and instead of entering his office he continues further on, crosses the bright green corridor and reaches the black lacquered door, he doesn't knock, he just goes in.
"Seishiro-san?"

Sakurazuka's office is immersed in darkness and cigarette smoke, the two windows are darkened, the only light comes from the lamp resting on the massive mahogany desk, several meters away from the door.
Seishiro's golden eyes scan him slightly, and it’s the only sign of surprise the man grants him, before returning to quickly scribble something on a sheet of paper.

"Seishiro-san... are you free after work?"
"Why?"
Seishiro doesn't look at him, he reaches for his glasses and puts them on, before turning to his Mac and moving the mouse.
The screen lights up, and so do his lenses, hiding his gaze.

"Would you like to... have a drink at my house?"
Subaru takes a few steps forward, his hands are shaking, he hasn't met Seishiro since-

"Only if I can fuck you later."

Subaru's heart leaps in his chest.

Now Seishiro looks at him, but his eyes are still covered by the brightness of the lenses, it's a joke, right, he's... making fun of Subaru or…
"Seishiro-san..."

"Get your voice out, Subaru.
Don't blush, don't stammer, never show a hint of hesitation, if Yuuko saw you now she would be so ashamed of you."

W-what?
What... does it mean, what...

"You were cute when you came here.
So willing and determined, but at the same time always friendly and kind... who made you study Law? This environment is not for you, I knew that sooner or later you would be eaten alive, shy people like you don't survive in this world. Yuuko tried to harden you a little but she didn't have enough time and these are the results."

Subaru's fists are so tight he’s afraid to harm his palms with his fingernails.
"Are you questioning my professionalism? What does our private life have to do with work? I have every right to break my facade when I'm not working, if I have to hide my thoughts and feelings while I'm with a client that doesn't necessarily mean- "
"Then answer my question."
"Didn't- you..." Subaru takes a breath, he doesn't want to look unsure and give in, he tries to squeeze the edges of his jacket rather than his fists, he feels his palms burn. "Didn't you agree to consider us friends?"

"What are we, kids? Do you think that at the beginning of the year we would have shopped for hatsuuri together, do you think we would have exchanged chocolate for Valentine's Day and maybe you hope that in spring I’ll invite you to see the hanami with me on a nice picnic tablecloth."

Subaru shakes his head, no, no, he didn’t... maybe- well maybe once, maybe... he doesn't rule out fantasizing about such nonsense for a few days after their first rendezvous, but he quickly realized he wouldn't met again that mysterious man only known by his first name, that they wouldn’t have a second date, that nothing else would ever happen.
But …
"You said you don't have many friends."
"I don't have any at work."
"Kanoe-san?"
"She's not my friend. None of us have friends in the firm."
Seishiro takes a last drag from his cigarette before finally getting up from his leather armchair, goes around his desk and in a couple of steps is very close to the younger man.
Subaru tries not to appear blindsided and not to take a step back.
"So it was really all an act. You were having fun."

"To be honest no, it wasn't. I really like you, Subaru."
The older one licks the thumb of his right hand and runs the wet finger on Subaru’s cheek, just under the eye, an imitation of a well disguised caress.

"Do you think I'm dumb?"
Subaru steps away from Seishiro’s touch, he almost feels his skin rotten under it, yet not so long ago a similar sweetness would have been so wanted...

"Come on..."
Seishiro smiles, a smile that Subaru had never seen on him, halfway between amused and sweet, he squeezes the younger’s shoulders before sliding his hands along the hips.
"Don't be coy now. That troubled face doesn't suit you at all."
Subaru closes his eyes as he feels Seishiro's lips brush his neck, the older’s hands undo his pants, as the smell of tobacco invades him completely.
"Why don't you come to my apartment instead?
I really want to devour you."

He finds himself nodding with unfocused eyes, now that those hands have disappeared from his body, Subaru finds himself gasping for breath, Seishiro returns to his chair with a satisfied smile on his face, he seems perfectly at ease even in situations like these.
"Wait for me near the cafeteria, let's go together."

He doesn't know where to hold on.

He moves his hands along the wall without finding a grip, his legs spread wide over Seishiro's, his back hardened, his head aching against the plastered surface.

He complains vaguely, the truth is that the pain of the hard floor and the wall is almost a continuous hum, annoying but not enough to distract him from Seishiro's quick hand that jerks him off.
Yes, he can't concentrate anywhere but the fabric of his shirt that rises and falls hypnotically, a hot squeeze that rips the moans from his throat.
He feels himself being pulled back further against the wall, he doesn't have time to relax against it, that the touch of Seishiro's hand fades, Subaru blinks in confusion, almost screams when he feels Seishiro's thick cock pushing against his own.

The wetness of pleasure from both helps with the rubbing, but the difference between them is such that the weight of Seishiro's hard-on just can't help but completely overwhelm Subaru's.
But not even that seems to satisfy the golden eyed man who grunts discontentedly, moving away from Subaru just enough to make the younger slide helpless with his back on the floor. Seishiro gives him time to breathe with his eyes closed before lifting his legs against his chest and pouring a few drops of lube on Subaru’s opening.
They consumed part of the bottle in their foreplay, but now Seishiro sees it, from how red Subaru’s hole is, from how large and vibrant it is already, that left lube will be enough.

He unrolls the condom on himself in a couple of seconds, he’s fast, frantic, he doesn't remember having felt such anxiety before, an anguish that takes his stomach, closes his throat until he feels that softness, that warm humidity that wraps him slowly, inch by inch, only when his balls push on the other’s ass, Seishiro allows himself to open his eyes.

Subaru’s face is painted deep red.
His neck’s pulled with the effort, his mouth dirty with saliva, his eyes absent and full of tears.
Seishiro smiles, leaving him a kiss somewhere between the lips and nose.
He has to bring Subaru back here, with him.
He straighten his back, puts his sore knees on the floor, pulls his hips back and-

"Ah...- ah... mmmh."

He smiles.
There he is, his Subaru-kun.

Subaru’s nipples are hardened with arousal, the muscles tug, they strain to make room for something else, something they identified as intruder, but which they soon learned to recognize, and now they hatch as they pass, welcome him, they hold in their boiling heat, with each humid thrust Subaru's body stretches more and more.

The lower belly of the older man swells happy to have found a perfect place for him, Seishiro looks with admiration at every dynamic of that magnificent body, every nook and cranny seems to have been created especially for him.

"Um- Seishiro-san... Seishiro! Sei-"

Seishiro blinks and focuses again on Subaru's tired face, the last traces of foundation have left his skin, yet the green eyed man looks over the moon, his hard-on now drips liquid on his sand-colored shirt.
He breathes slowly, extending his legs with a smile, oh no but Seishiro is not done yet.
He lifts Subaru by his hips and carries him on his lap, Subaru gasps and whispers broken words, yet he clings to his partner as best he can, kisses his neck and with the little strength he has left begins to move on him.
He rides Seishiro slowly, holding on to the other's shoulders, pressing sloppy kisses on Seishiro's neck.
He's clearly zoning out for coming twice in that short amount of time, so Seishiro takes pity on him and grabs his hips to guide his rhythm.

"I can't- I can't... anymore..."
"You can."

Despite his confused stuttering and his shaking head, Subaru actually can.
He can come again, and right after Seishiro lifted his hips up for a final relieving push, he does, with a suffocated cry.
Breathless, Seishiro hugs the other and lowers his gaze, Subaru’s semi-erection has released a few drops of pearly liquid, it was the best he could reach, but Seishiro really appreciated it.

"You are perfect for me."

He remembers waking up at some point.

On incredibly delicate dark sheets, surrounded by that usual smell of tobacco and that something else…
He moved his hips without thinking and a twinge of pain in his ass hit all the nerves.
"Mmh-"
He bites his lip so as not to make a sound, a light illuminates the semi-dark room but Subaru closes his eyes.
A thick layer of shame covers his body like a shivering veil, he doesn't want to be seen like that, naked, aching and dirty, not by Seishiro, not after what the man told him, not after what they did.

"Does it still hurt? Even after I cleaned you off you complained, so I smeared you with some soothing cream, I don't know if-"
"You did what?"
The voice creaks in several places in that short sentence, Subaru clears his throat and finds the courage to raise his eyelids.

"You were already sleeping but... your hole, it was very red and it seemed to hurt, I tried to do something for you."
Why does Seishiro seem almost... worried?
He’s still wearing a dark robe despite being in bed with him, as if he hadn't wanted to get comfortable on purpose, as if he had been awake, waiting for Subaru to open his eyes.

"Did you touch me while I was sleeping? Are you a pervert?"
"Well, the temptation to fuck you while you were unconscious was strong, but I resisted for my high moral sense."
Seishiro places a hand on his chest bowing, as if to thank his non-existent fans.
Subaru chuckles, but why- why they're finding themselves joking like that, like it's nothing, they... they -
"We have-"

"Yeah. You came three times, you have great stamina, which is really exciting. I like your moans and I really appreciate someone who dedicates themselves to their partner completely, like you did. It was much better than the first time. "

"Uhm... thanks."
Subaru crawls his face on the sheet to disguise the redness of his cheeks, but how does Seishiro... how can he talk about certain things so lightly...

"And you? Is there something about me that you liked?"

The younger man flutters his dazed eyes.
Something about Seishiro... that he likes?
Something…
At this moment Subaru doesn't think he can put together the memories of the previous night without getting feverish, but maybe he can focus on something else, on how Seishiro's wide and warm hands have always wrapped his hips so well, or how his golden eyes have peered at him from within, or how his dark, delicate voice is still a balm to Subaru's heart or-
Well.
Well... the truth is-
"I liked you... right away."

"Really? Are you talking about the last time?"
Seishiro smiles astonished and reaches for the bedside table to look for his glasses, perhaps for his sadistic intent, as if he didn't want to miss a single moment of Subaru's embarrassment.

The green eyed man tries to shake his head in denial, but every muscle of his body feels incredibly sore. Note to self: sex on the floor seems a good idea but it really isn't, Subaru thought, before clearing his throat.
"No... before... a few years ago at the University bar when we first met and you said..."
He closes his eyes while that soothing voice from his memories reaches him like a vision, a vanishing dream.

"I've never met anyone with your eyes, Subaru-kun. It's as if... looking at them I could know myself through you."

Seishiro bends over to caress his cheek.
"Did I really say that? Wow."
He chuckles quietly, but the younger one knew that Seishiro would never remember it, that time was only important for Subaru.

"Why don't you come closer, Subaru-kun?"

Somehow he doesn't care.
He doesn't care if Seishiro doesn't remember him, nor does he care if the man doesn't respect Subaru as a lawyer, nor if he still considers him a kid.
Not if he gifts Subaru with soft caresses, if he keeps calling the younger man Subaru-kun with that humming tone.

Seishiro probably isn’t interested in having him as a friend In the first place.
He doesn’t want to hear Subaru talk about his day, he doesn't give a damn if Subaru managed to send a voice message to Hokuto, nor if he wants to organize a lunch with all three together.
He doesn't want to discover Shinjuku with Subaru, of course not, what a dumb idea.
Seishiro probably doesn't care about Subaru.
Yeah, he couldn't care less about Subaru, he just wants- to sleep with Subaru, yeah, to fuck him, to enjoy his warmth, to hold his hips, to kiss his moans, to smile while biting Subaru's cheeks, already wet with tears.
Subaru knows that such a thought should shake his entire world but in that moment he wonders…
Why should he be shocked by this realization?

After all, Seishiro never gave him any false hope.
He has never presented himself to him for what he’s not.

Subaru blinks, staring at the soft jaw of the man, Seishiro has his eyes closed at that moment, a relaxed smile on his face, his head slightly bent against the wall.

Despite looking like an angel right now, Subaru had the chance to attend a court date ferociously carried out by Seishiro.
It was like watching a cobra repeatedly attack its prey with its venom, Seishiro never loosened his grip until he saw those respondents in tears, out of breath, with their eyes widened.
Seishiro never cared if his clients were good people, if they were doing the right thing, if their marriage was unmistakably broken.
He wasn't trying not to lose, he wanted to win.
And drag all his enemies into the mud.

Subaru didn't really expect anything from him.
Yet... even if in that moment he's telling himself that it's all right, he feels alright with that realization, his own stupid- dumb heart is beating so fast, it's screaming that no, it's not fucking alright, not now that-
That-

He clenches his lip between his teeth and closes his eyes trying to relax between Seishiro's lazy caresses, but those touches are so sweet and selfless, that somehow it seems even more unrealistic to Subaru to wish that light pressure on his skin, forever.

"You're a fucking lovesick puppy."

"I know."
Subaru stuffed his mouth with his rainbow cotton candy while Hokuto was just laughing at him, totally unbothered.
She texted Subaru on Line early that morning, with a simple: Why don't you come over? I need sugar and shopping to get over this hell-ish week and Subaru happily agreed.

He reached out for his sister at her workplace, Harajuku of course, nothing less for a genius and stylish dressmaker like her; anywhere else Hokuto's bright personality would just stand out, a pop of color in a dull, amorphous sea of people, but here...

"Why do you always take me to Takeshita Dori? If I'm the only one eating shit like this?"
"You're not the only one!" Hokuto just smiles happily, shaking her Candy a Go-Go almost empty bag. "But I'm here mainly for shopping, you know?"

"We've been here last month and you emptied your card in one shop, Body Line doesn't have any more slutty Victorian maid uniforms for you, dear."

"Some of them were actually neko-maid uniforms, honey-boo."
His twin sister closes both her eyes in a vain attempt to wink, her glittery eyelids sparkle in that cloudy Saturday morning.
Takeshita dori is full of bizarre people as usual, Subaru always gets a little self conscious when he hangs out with her sister in public, especially here, where his monochromatic outfit and plain look collides with the colorful surroundings.
Every single person here is dressed to impress, Subaru turn his head to a group of loud girls on his left; they're probably wearing pastel colors wigs while cheerfully taking pictures and selfies with their overly sweet bubble teas and their bags full of clothes and-
"Take a deep breath."

Subaru feels squeezed by the wrist.
He takes a long breath under Hokuto's serious look, and slowly starts to feel himself again.
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet, I need your pragmatic words about a terribly expensive visual suit I put my eyes on, little brother."

Hokuto pouts her violet glossy lips and Subaru can't really prevent her from dragging him in her favorite shop, Takenoko's dresses pop in his eye vision and Subaru knows that they'll spend hours in there.

"Seriously though... I know that you're already deeply invested in your relationship with Seishiro."
"I'm not- we just-"
"You let him fuck your throat in his office just yesterday."

Subaru bites his lips and swiftly looks around him, the cheerful crowd seems to be minding their own business, gathering in small groups around shop windows and gashapon machines.
"We're just fucking around."

Hokuto grabs Subaru's dark turtleneck shirt and takes all the inches the heels grant her to look at his brother straight into his eyes.
"You're not. He's the one who's fucking around, you're not. You're a lovesick puppy, you've been talking nonstop about him and it's cute, it's funny, it really is, but at the end of the day you'll be the one getting hurt."

The crowd avoids the two siblings that now just stand in the middle of that road full of music, full of laughter.
Subaru holds her sister's gloved hands and delicately bumps his forehead with hers.
"I'm not that naive you know? I'm a lawyer, I know how to work under-pressure, and stuff like this is just… nothing. It's all under control."

Hokuto holds his neck and smiles sadly.
"Outside your work you don't really know how to keep your life together, Subaru-nii. I'm just a little bit worried, I don't want to pick up your pieces when he'll leave you again."
Subaru smiles, kissing his twin sister's forehead before taking a step back.
"Not if I leave him first."

It will never happen, Hokuto thinks, but she keeps her lips sealed, before taking his brother's waiting hand.
It won't happen because he's the only one that can make you that happy.
No one before that man- no one…
Not even me...

She smiles, holding Subaru's hand tightly, she doesn't want to lose him in the crowd, she doesn't want to lose him at all.
She looks at his brother's side profile, at Subaru's lingering eyes, at his distant smile, already away from Harajuku, away from Hokuto's handhold, in someone else's arms...

Yeah, Subaru won't leave that man.
Not now that he found him.
It won't happen.
Ever.

"Oh god I wish I could fuck you right now."
"We... can't- ah!"

Seishiro takes advantage of his half-open mouth to suck on his tongue, he filled Subaru’s chest with kisses and love-bites before slipping his hands into his pants.
They haven't been able... even today... to stay away from each other...

Subaru slumps against the solid chest of the older man, he no longer grinds his teeth feeling the touch of Seishiro on his own opening, he doesn’t blush anymore embarrassed at the blunt phrases of the other, he no longer cares about Miyuki's worried looks, nor Kanoe's aware ones.
"I just want you... please- please, I-"
"Shhh, baby..."
"No, please-"

Subaru feels on the verge of tears, why Seishiro is still fully dressed, why can't they just strip themselves naked like the day before and fuck on that damn mahogany desk, he can't-
"Subaru-kun... you have to be good, right? You have to behave."

No- no- he doesn't have to do anything, not now that Seishiro is pushing two fingers inside him, he feels too hot, he-
"Subaru-kun... you said it yourself. We can't."
"No..."

Seishiro smiles at Subaru's teary eyes, he caresses the younger's shocked face before moving aside his sweaty hair to kiss his forehead.
"It's too late and you're being too loud. I usually never stay this late in my office, people will surely talk."
Subaru bites Seishiro's neck, stubborn.
"Let them talk."
"Uh-uh, Subaru-kun. You have a reputation to maintain."
Seishiro slips his fingers out of the younger man's hole, grinning in pure joy when he feels the other tremble in his hug.

"What about your reputation?"
Subaru has a weirdly cute pout on his mouth when he tries to get away from Seishiro's touch.
"My reputation is already ruined, Subaru-kun."
He helps Subaru fix his trousers but he doesn't actually want to let the other go, so Seishiro tries to soothe Subaru's bitterness through slow and delicate caresses.

It's weird, though.
The green eyed man's body shape feels incredibly warm and soft, yet his bone structure is solid and firm.
A living contradiction that also grows in his physical and verbal responses to a more intimate approach.
During his day work Subaru often seems focused and professional, he's always so serious, even his usual kindness seems just condescending... but when they're alone Subaru drops that facade and allows himself to be fragile and fierce, he's loud, he prays, he cries, and he's always fucking horny like a damn teen…
Seishiro can't really believe that a creature like Subaru could even exist... he's so beautiful, responsive, eager, yet... deep down he has that inner need of being just- loved.

A need that, even if he's too afraid to admit, Seishiro feels too.

"If you have no intention to fuck me then I'll get going."
Seishiro doesn't miss that hurt look in Subaru's eyes, so he smiles and just pulls the other closer to his chest.

In the comforting dim-light of his office Seishiro closes his eyes, he just feels... perfectly content with himself now that he has his younger colleague like this, gloomy and whining, he knows that he has Subaru's pounding heart in his hands.

He remembers Subaru's pleading eyes too well, asking Seishiro to be his dearest friend... it was almost one month ago, but his beautiful Subaru is still that lonely man, waiting for someone to finally see him.

Oh, but Seishiro sees him now, he sees how nervous Subaru gets when Seishiro walks next to his crumpled office, he likes how Subaru's glassy eyes follows him at the cafeteria or how he gets upset when he chats with Fay and Chii.
It's so funny.
And pleasant.

"Baby-boy, I have to go. My shift is about to end and I don't want to waste one more minute here."
"You don't have a shift. You come and go as you please, I don't know how you made Kendappa-san let you off her leash so easily."
Seishiro pulls Subaru's cheek softly, he really is cute, he thinks, cute and sensual, a beautiful mix that couldn't go unnoticed for much longer.

He gently pulls Subaru away from his chest before walking towards the desk, the temptation to light another cigarette is strong, he pushes it away, rather he focuses on fixing his tie before putting on his coat.
"Why don't we go out for dinner?"

Subaru hasn't moved from his position near one of the darkened windows, he seems unsure, but also tempted to say yes.
"I have... some work to finish."

"Uhm. Is it about Kiyokazu and Hanato's premarital? It's a formality, isn't it?"

The green eyed man runs a hand through his tousled hair and takes a couple of steps towards the desk.
"Yes, Fujimoto-san and Kobato-san love each other very much, but the girl's fortune is huge, while the boy is a simple teacher. Kakei-san asked me to take care of them anyway, they’re family friends."

Seishiro rolls his eyes and walks around the desk before pushing the other by the hips towards the door.
"You should come with me to dinner instead."
“Wait a minute, Sei- Seishiro-san! ”

The corridor light floods them and for a moment Seishiro wishes he were wearing his sunglasses. He snorts as he waits for the younger one to take back his belongings before returning out of breath reaching him with redder cheeks than usual.
"I'm rea-"

"Sumeragi-san! I... I was waiting for you."
Miyuki's shrill voice catched them by surprise, the energetic secretary jumped into her chair when she saw them, her gaze seemed to slide over Subaru's wrinkled clothes and Seishiro's hand still on the younger man's side.

"I’m here, Miyuki-chan."

"I- I need to talk to you."
Miyuki looks up at Seishiro and squirms, lowers her head and grabs her skirt to contain her trembling hands, Subaru slides his questioning eyes on Seishiro, but his partner ignores them and raises his voice.
"Is this something that can be put off until tomorrow?"
"Well-"
"I'm sure so. Sumeragi and I are going out to dinner."
He brings Subaru closer to his side and he holds the other's hip tighter, Miyuki just nods with her cheeks pink, and Seishiro allows himself to relax a bit.

"Kanoe-san already left, so... I'll just close all the doors and-"
"Yeah, yeah, you're dismissed. Good work today, Miyuki-chan."

Subaru stares at him for a few seconds, but his piercing eyes are too annoying to handle right now. They call the elevator and leave behind the 10th Floor.
Seishiro just wants to take his cute Subaru-kun out, spoil his tongue with delicious oysters and ika, he wants to see the other close his emerald eyes in pleasure and then he wants-
"You know what? We can have takeaway at my place instead. "
"Uh?"
"I can't wait anymore."
He presses a quick kiss on Subaru's full lips and opens his eyes to see the younger blush lightly, before the elevator's door opens.
"Al-alright."

Seishiro smiles and grabs the other's hand, they both salute the doorman with a whispered great job today, and leave the firm behind them.

"No please, not against the wall again."
Subaru laughs in his mouth while Seishiro bites the other's upper lip.
"You were crying from pleasure last time."
"For that and for back pain."

Seishiro loves hearing the younger's giggles, as much as he loves kissing such a beautiful white skin, so smooth, with delicate spots on-
"Please, Seishiro-san..."

He raises his eyes to look at Subaru's flustered face, maybe he was biting too hard? But Subaru's pale skin, his pink nipples, his delicate spots, his thin stomach…
"I don't want to eat tamago anymore."
"N-no?"
"Tonight you're my dinner."

He's hungry, yes.
He's so fucking hungry, he won't let Subaru breathe between the kisses, he just wants to devour him, he wants to swallow him whole, to absorb his trembling body, to savor his beautiful watery eyes on the tongue before crashing them with the teeth.

"Please- please..."

Seishiro has four fingers buried deep inside of him, but it's not enough.
In the dim light of the bedroom, on the silky black sheets dripped in lube and pre-come, that beautiful man squirms under him, his teary eyes unfocused, his mouth red with bites... Seishiro pushes deeper with his own fingers in him just for the sake of feeling that happiness rise in his chest hearing Subaru's hushed scream.

He can't take it anymore.
Seishiro knows that Subaru is at his limit.
He's sweating and his saliva is dripping on his red cheeks, Seishiro asked him not to come just yet, but the younger one is losing his mind.

"You're so beautiful, baby-boy.
So responsive, so perfect for me."
He grabs Subaru's thigh to push it up more on his shoulder, he wants to delight himself seeing the other's hard cock dripping pearly liquid, his cute Subaru-kun is so obedient... he delicately touches his navel to see it tremble.

"You're tightening your stomach so hard... you're so good Subaru-kun... you deserve a prize."
Subaru nods his head frenetically, his lips curve in a relieved smile.
"Please let me come."
"On your own? That would be rude."
He now shakes his head and almost screams: "With your cock! With your cock, please Seishiro-san..."

He's tearing up, poor boy.
He's so desperate and pretty…
"Do you want to ride me, sweetheart?
I know you love it."

Seishiro waits to see Subaru nod before letting the other's thigh go; he slips out his fingers from Subaru's gaping hole just to see it closing immediately, red and desperately empty.

"At least... take your clothes off..."
Subaru is now on his knees, holding on the base of his hard cock in a last attempt to prevent his orgasm, so cute.
Seishiro tosses his socks on the floor before doing the same with the belt and grabbing one of the condoms he keeps on his nightstand; after that he sits right in the center of the bed, the two pillows pushed behind his back.
"Come here."

Subaru slowly crawls on the sheets until he reaches Seishiro, then he rolls the condom on the older man and adds some lube.
"I won't be able to hold myself back... I'll make a mess..."

Seishiro smiles, reaching to grab Subaru's hips to help him position himself.
"I hate this tie, anyway."

He hears Subaru's muffled laugh before hearing his moans.

They were hungry after.

Seishiro laughed because Subaru's stomach started gurgling under his kisses, the other was so embarrassed but it was cute, really.
“We actually left the delivery guy out, right?”
"Yeah, you yelled at him to leave the food outside and leave."
"Oh gosh. I must've sounded like a lunatic."
"Pretty much. But you were just horny."

Subaru moans in embarrassment and tries to cover himself up with the dark sheets before realizing they used them to clean themselves after.
"Ugh."
"It's all your stuff, baby-boy."
"Not all mine!"
"Yes, actually. You came a lot."
"And who's fault is that?"

Seishiro squeezes the younger's hand to press a light kiss on it.
"Privilege, not fault."
Subaru rolls his eyes, but he can't really contain his own smile or his red cheeks.
"Sap. But I'm still hungry. You think our food's still there or-"
"I need to go check... probably stray-cats have already eaten it. It's from Seamon Sushi."
"Uhm, so good... but I can't believe you made the delivery guy come here from Ginza."
"I extra tipped him through Line. My Subaru-kun deserves the best."
Subaru holds a pillow on his head, his muffled voice prays just go! and Seishiro can't really hold back his laughter.

All his clothes are crumpled on the floor, he grabs a new pair of boxers and reaches the door to find out that luckily stray cats didn't eat anything and the package is still elegantly resting, as most of Tokyo residents by then.

They rub each other's chopsticks together before exchanging them and whisper thanks for the food, and just eat on the bed, sharing opinions about their tasty tamago or the salmon’s freshness.
Seishiro offers Subaru a shower and fresh clothes, then changes the sheets together before adding the duvet.
“I’m overly convinced that you must be an assassin or something.”

“Why?”
Seishiro burst into a laughter that makes the other smile and hide himself more under the crook of his neck.
“So many dark sheets in your dresser, it’s concerning.”
“You think that I killed the people I slept with in this bed?”
“That would make sense, right? Your house is darker than your office and-”
“My house is filled with light right now.”

Subaru pulls himself out of that warm embrace and frowns, unsure; on the nightstand rests a golden abat-jour that makes his delicate features stand out and Seishiro feels his stomach tighten.
Someone like Subaru… should belong to an art museum.
He reaches for the fine line of the younger’s jaw and touches it softly, Subaru slowly goes back on the pillow, holding Seishiro’s hand to his cheek before letting it go.
Even If Subaru is so beautiful… so smart, so passionate, so special… he hasn’t been loved by anyone.
How could…

"How could anyone miss you?"

"What?"
Subaru pushes his bright smile on the pillow trying to hide it, but... his content expression is illuminating the room anyway.
That's why…
Seishiro frowns.
"How could someone not see you..."

"What are you babbling about?"
Even his confused giggle…
Even that... is like the sound of calm night waves on rocks.
"How did I manage to ignore you for so long..."

Subaru blinks slowly before smiling softly.
"Because you're the most self-centered person I met.”
"I know."
"And I'm a lawyer. I met lots of self-centered people."
"I know."
Seishiro's words slip off his tongue smoothly, he doesn't have time to stop them, and when they're out he realizes that they’re true.
Seishiro is an egoist.
He's the most egoistic person he -himself- knows.

Subaru gets close to him, enough to delicately touch Seishiro's nose with his own.
"Why are you making that face? I'm not... I didn't mean it as an ins-"
"I know. You're just being politely honest.
Like always."

The younger boy seems genuinely confused, he lifts his hand to softly caress Seishiro's jawline before switching to his cheekbone.
"Seishiro-san..."

"You can call me Seishiro. Just Seishiro is fine."

Subaru nods slowly, he bumps his forehead against his but when he talks again he whispers.
"When we're alone... could you... could you please keep calling me Subaru-kun? And- and... baby-boy... sweetheart... I really like that."

Seishiro delicately touches the other's small nose until he reaches Subaru's lower lips, reddened by the bites and the kisses.
"Whatever you want, sweetheart."

Subaru presses his smile on Seishiro's lips, he's so happy that he can't keep his mouth relaxed, yeah, he's so perfectly content that he just pushes his giggling lips on his Seishiro again and again.

"Since tonight's date has been canceled... do you want to go out for lunch tomorrow?"
"I'd like to, but-"
"You don't have to work even when it's lunchtime, you know? You don't have to prove anything to a soul, not anymore."

"No?"
Subaru's eyes are glassy, filled with unbelieving tears, he sniffs against his own hand waiting for Seishiro's nod, and when he see it, when he finally sees Seishiro smile, he lets himself cry all the relieving tears he held back in those years. 

He's finally being accepted as an equal-
And Seishiro is the one that... before anyone...

"Come here."

He's not... he's never been happier.
Never.
In Seishiro's arms, with his voice in his ears, his body in full contact with Subaru's own…
He doesn't have to prove anything anymore.

Meanwhile Seishiro watches Subaru's slow realizations with his heart in a clench, somehow he feels incredibly warmed by the other's reactions, in a weird way he wants to participate in this man's deep emotions.
He doesn't really know why.
But he finds Subaru's eyes glistening brightly now that they're full of tears... his cheeks so soft now that they're red and moist, his lips more plump now that they've been bitten to hold back hiccups, maybe Seishiro is going crazy. Maybe he's imagining things but he never felt like this, not towards anybody.
He wants to tell Subaru.
He wants to tell him.

"Subaru-kun..."
"Yes?"
"I really like you."

Pause. Hold your breath. Swallow your saliva even if it tastes like pure acid on your tongue. Wait.

"Are... you being serious?"
"I am."
"I really really like you too. So much."

Now you can smile. You can relax your whole body. You can tend it towards him, you can kiss away his tears, you can swallow his happiness through your mouth. You wanted to be a part of that nest of emotions in Subaru's heart and now you did it. And there's no fear in that. Somehow...

"I'm sorry... I'm a fucking mess."
"No, you're not. You're gorgeous, sweetheart."
Somehow Subaru's astonished smile is all Seishiro needs right now.

He knows that things can't stay this way forever.
They can't.
They won't.
Tomorrow they will reach Clamp En. Co. together, they will smile at each other, they'll brush their fingers in the elevator, and maybe Seishiro will bow his head towards Subaru for a final chaste kiss.
Something sweet, to be obsessed over.
He's gonna betray Subaru's trust he knows it.

After that they'll part ways to reach their offices and then…
Miyuki will salute Subaru before asking if she can talk to him... maybe she'll ask if Subaru needs water or if he needs to sit down.
By that time Subaru will already know that something's wrong, he's so intelligent, yeah, he's such a witty man... he'll surely know that something's wrong with a client, and since he's really smart he'll gladly accept water and he'll sit down, with his mind already fuming.
Miyuki will eventually tell him the truth.
That in all those weeks Seishiro was preparing himself to accept that new female client, not a random businesswoman, but that none other than Kishu Arashi, Subaru's -now former- client.

Kishu Arashi that apparently complained with Gingetsu-san about Subaru's work, about his nonsensical sentences on how Sorata still loved her, about his silly attempts to make her change is mind, to calm her rage, to think better about her ten years of marriage with Sorata.
She needed a new lawyer, someone who had the guts to drag her husband in court and take it all from him....
Now that Sorata finally started to take her seriously and hired Monou Fuuma, one of the fiercest divorce lawyers in Tokyo, she can't stick with someone that soft-hearted, Sumeragi isn't the right choice for her anymore.

Miyuki will try to bite her tongue, but since Subaru's mind will run faster he'll say what they're both thinking... now that he lost his most important client he'll be stuck in that suffocating office forever... he'll be doing premarital and legal separations until the day he dies...

Maybe... it will be better for you Sumeragi-san, Miyuki will say, you always hated blood spread, but Subaru won't reply, no, he won't say anything at all.
He'll think that Kishu-san dumped him because Subaru can't get his hands dirty, it's not a choice, Subaru physically... emotionally... can't.
Could you leave me alone, Miyuki-chan? Apparently I just got my morning off.
And like that.
Miyuki will leave him, without saying another word... Subaru will escort her to the door of his office and before closing it he'll lift his chin and he'll notice Seishiro standing in the corridor, watching him.

If Seishiro knows Subaru well... the green eyed man won't yell at him.
He could do it.
For betraying him with his silence, for not saying anything, for keeping secret such an important change, for that fucking stone cold facade Seishiro never drops, not even in a moment like that... for screwing him and whispering all that fucking lies about really liking Subaru... about wanting to date him…
Maybe he could slap Seishiro.
Punch him.
He could, he would have every right to do so, but he won't.
Seishiro learned to know Subaru well.
And Subaru will just look him in the eyes with his emerald vision blurred with tears... and he will smile at him, just- sad.
Before closing Seishiro out of the door of his office and probably... out of his life.

"A penny for your thoughts."

Seishiro blinks.

Tomorrow hasn't come yet.
Seushiro is still here, on fresh sheets, surrounded by Subaru's heat, but his warm embrace.
"What?"

"Your mind is too loud, I can't sleep. At least... tell me what you're thinking with such intensity..."
The younger one smiles, but there's a tiny wrinkle between his eyebrows, if Seishiro wasn't that close he wouldn't even notice his worried look.
But since his nose softly bumps with Subaru's own…
"It's nothing. Nothing that matters."

Subaru sighs, feeling Seishiro's hand caressing that sensitive spot on his throat, but can whisper a tentative "Are you sure?" anyway.

Seishiro draws a circle on the other's delicate skin and nods, sliding his own cheek against the pillow.
"Yes, Subaru-kun. I was just thinking about how beautiful you are. About how smart, how passionate, how kind, how sexy and gorgeous you are.
I'm still thinking about it."

"You're lying."
The green eyed man giggles, hiding himself against Seishiro's hand, the
one that now he kisses and holds against his cheek.

"No, I'm not."

Tomorrow it will all be different.
But now…
Seishiro needs to fill his own eyes with assurance, reliability, honesty.
He wants to see Subaru's face turn serious, his expression now focused again.
And when he finally sees Subaru's irises filled with both fragilities and hopes…
Seishiro takes a deep breath.

"No, I'm not."

Please, believe me.
Not tomorrow.
But at least now, in this exact moment...
Believe me.

Subaru stretches his arms until he hears the bones creak, he leaves the desk tidy and closes the door behind him, it's too late to reach the firm’s dining hall, he adjusts his dark green tie better and goes to the elevator, cafeteria will do anyway.

He hopes to find Oluha in the dessert area, Ueda-san has only been hiring her for a few weeks on his staff, but she’s already the best with the icing, and she always manages to make him smile with a song or a short chorus on the go.

"Wait please!"

He automatically presses the door opening button, only to regret it a couple a few seconds later.

"Oh, my little Subaru-kun!"
The man who entered the elevator with him raises his glasses on his nose and smiles warmly at him.
Subaru, however, merely wrinkles his mouth and responds coldly.
"Sakurazuka-san."

Without asking him, the lawyer leans over him with his body until his fingers reach button n.3 on the elevator.
Great, he goes to the cafeteria too.
"You can just call me Seishiro, you know!"

"I prefer to keep the right professional distances, Sakurazuka-san, you will understand for sure."

"Uhm..."

The elevator emits a faint tinker before closing.

He closes his eyes while feeling the other's hands in his hair, the warmth of his breath on his body, his chest solid against his back.

"I can't believe it, Subaru... I can't believe you don't want to lose yourself again and again in my sheets..."
That whisper makes him shiver, wets his eyes at that same vivid memory, The memory of those words so sweet in Subaru’s ears, their hands clasped on the mattress, their bodies united, the memory of his own tears and Seishiro's caresses.

Tin!

"No..."

The doors that open make him breathe again, he almost stumbles in the rush to get out of that elevator, to calm his beating, the tremors.
Luckily there is no one sitting on the soft colored chairs, now he can take a deep breath and-

"Subaru."

Trying not to fall he clings to the arms that now are pushing him away, and continues to cling to them even when he finds himself with his back pressed against the wall of the dark corridor just before the deposit.
His... his colleague, Sakurazuka Seishiro looks at him hungry, shaken, moves a hand to his cheek and slowly caresses his parted lips.

"Subaru, my bed has taken many men but my mind has focused only on one of them."

The younger one widens his eyes.
He... he didn't expect it.
He didn't expect this after…
"You lied to me... from the first moment... when you saw me in your own office you pretended not to know me, and - you did nothing but patronize me for months, as if I were a child, as if I didn't deserve to be here."

"No..."
The lawyer looks at him scared, shakes his head but Subaru feels his stomach tighten at the very thought of the heaviness of those days.

"Yes. And then what happened with Kishu-san... well it was hard, but I tried to move on, I tried to get back in the game, even though I know that... I didn't win enough cases to get your prestige or Kanoe-san's.
I know. Nobody considers me a divorceist like you two, but I want... I want to do my best every day."

"I'm sorry to have given you this impression.
You’re very good, Subaru, so good, too good that couples who come here ready to divorce actually end up getting back together.
Only by talking to you they begin to understand how futile their motives often can be compared to married love, and they reconsider their decisions.
You're good Subaru, but more as an analyst. You’re not an irreplaceable source at Clamp En. Co., and as long as you're so compassionate, you won't get a place in the firm's elite. "

Subaru blocks his own quivering lip with his teeth.
"I'm a fool, I know. I believe in second chances, in eternal love. I know that with manager Gingetsu-san you laugh at me.
But sometimes... I can't go against my nature for the job."

He feels his face being held and his eyes widen when Seishiro starts to kiss his cheeks, forehead, nose, pushes his thumb on his chin to make him softly open his mouth.

"God, you’re so- good."

His eyelids flicker lazily and Subaru sighs in the kiss that Seishiro is taking from his lips.
Subaru holds on Seishiro’s shoulders, he opens his mouth and lets their tongues meet while the older’s hands slide down to grab his ass.
"I've missed you so much, sweetheart... my beautiful Subaru-kun..."

Just hearing those soft words after such a long time made Subaru's stomach tight, he can almost hear his own blood boiling, it’s running faster and faster in his whole body… he doesn't want to think about Seishiro's betrayal, about his lies and his hateful attitude.
He just wants to cry tears of pure joy because everything in the other's touches feels welcome, familiar.
"Seishiro-san..."

"Oh, good Heavens and all Angels!"

Subaru with his heart in his throat pushes Seishiro away, the older man starts to adjust his eyeglasses completely folded against his cheeks and snorts towards the genius of Civil Law, who smiles slyly at their nervous gestures of arranging jackets and hair.

"Saiga, did you see what I saw?"
Kakei turns his foxy eyes to his equal partner in Civil cases, who naturally doesn't take off his sunglasses even in this dark area.
"I saw Sumeragi and Sakurazuka making out a few steps away from the cafeteria, yes."

"And do you remember what Sumeragi-kun said yesterday at the dining hall while he was having lunch with us? We were inviting him to our engagement dinner. It was so funny, he wanted to know precisely the names of all the guests."

The dark-haired man smiles at him and Subaru feels his cheeks instantly turn hot.
"He said: I don't want to have anything to do with Sakurazuka-san! And even: if he's there, I'm not going to come! Or something like that.
Has anything changed?"

Subaru lowers his head and clenches his fists.
His heart is beating so fast, his lips are trembling, his body is shaking.
As much as he would like to say yes, he cannot... he can't give up, he can’t surrender himself to the other, not again.
He can’t trust Seishiro.

"No, nothing has changed."