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Name of Our Game: Nightmares of the Grimm Kind
It was always blurry, non-descript during the waking hours… something that was only in the back of her mind, not in the front of it... not usually. Sometimes she would think about a flashing moment of a dream that was easy to recall, but that was rare. Most often it faded in a haze and a blur. Something she knew was powerless, a figment of the imagination and nothing more.
She didn’t need to think of it in the waking hours, safe from her own mind as she was.
What was a bad dream, really? Fear, paranoia… wayward thoughts, or the subconscious mind playing tricks on her? It could be anything, she supposed. Strangely though, Ruby often felt an almost annoyed ambivalence to the concept… as though no explanation adequately describe the way her nightmares festered. They could remind her of what true horror could actually be… but they were jus that, useless dreams.
That all changed when Ruby closed her eyes… when sleep took her once again to a realm of evil and darkness she couldn’t win against. The tapestries of lost ground and failings permeated a solitude, everything painted in red. Visions of shadowed beasts lingered in the sinister realm of conspicuous deceit. The dreams could twist and contort even simple little things… and often, they did. A vile and nasty sort of compunction for the hunting lifestyle loomed here. It didn’t matter her skill, or if the sun was bright against green foliage. It didn’t matter if the sky was blue, gold, orange or grey. Day or night… in the void of those worst kinds of dreams, it didn’t matter.
“Ruby…”
Sometimes she would stir, wake herself up a little… crack her eyes open and roll over… and the dream would fade…
But, if she closed her eyes again for too long, it would come back… the color of life’s essence would still drip wetly form her fingertips either way. No matter how she tried to stop the flow, it wouldn’t cease. It couldn’t, not until the last breath of a comrade was taken. Always, she was bathed in failed efforts of that red liquid, never once able to succeed. Those she could not save would be gone… those she loved, lost to her... only glistening red, warm to the touch and cooling to the air remained.
The merciful nightmares, the ones with an ounce of pity, eventually allowed dirt to cling to her fingernails and stain her sweat brown. She was able to give a proper burial. To stand at makeshift graves… or to crumple beside the bodies and wait the night out, weaponless and with no urge to continue fighting any further. Those were the nightmares that were as awful as they were soothing. The end result obvious, no questions to the outcome… to live as a huntress, to die as one.
More often than not, her nightmares were no mercy at all. She would do battle with urgency, no matter who fell from around her. She couldn’t offer a second thought. She had no moment to mourn, no second to even witness a last breath… no goodbye… she would run to the next soul about to be ripped from her, desperate to save someone. Hoping that the she could be forgiven for a choice made on the brink of despair and hope. The precipice of failure and successes a divide she would speed to cross, and often her semblance alone would not be enough.
“Ruby, wake up…”
The dream world, a contorted reality of the mind’s eye could be a rather convincing thing. One step away would turn to two, then to three. A small distance that should take only a blink of an eye, instead it would seem to take eons… she knew in those moments, she would never make it. Leaving one fallen comrade to die without her, while watching another falter and stumble to the ground already gone, never knowing she was there to see it. Sometimes there were words echoing across the distance, other times only screams.
The worst was when murmurs caught against the howling winds, and a choked out final wish that couldn’t even be kept to start with. When Yang begged of her to protect them, and it was already too late. One single lie, a statement that she would, aiding to close fading lilac eyes. That was the worst dream, the kind that so often partook and leaned upon what Ruby felt to be the worst sin a huntress could ever make…
To give false hope when, all was entirely lost…
Sometimes that strange dream world around her was bright and sunny. Sometimes the night seemed peaceful, with the shattered moon above looking down on what was left. Sometimes it rained from cloudy skies above, mixing everything to mud… but always, it seemed off and askew… unfathomable in a way she could never quite explain. It was all only hell no matter what. That was all it could be, until blissful, wakeful reality came to save her…
Ruby! It’s me, Blake.”
But thankfully, it always did… and someone was always there. No matter if she jumped out of bed… no matter if she tried to combat the shadows in the haze of sleep… no matter if she used her semblance to fling herself at the first possible foe… no matter what, someone was there to remind her that she wasn’t alone… here to keep the dreams from clinging like a malicious fog.
“It’s me… shhh, it’s just me, Ruby…”
Also as expected at times like this, Weiss and Yang burst through the door moments later. Proof that they were all safe and sound… that those shadowy beasts, clear in her memory, weren’t real… even if she recalled that fresh dream perfectly… it just wasn’t real…
“What happened… and why is it so dark in here?”
Even held securely against Blake’s chest, Ruby could tell that Weiss was high strung and annoyed at being woken up.
“What do you think happened?” Blake asked, and Ruby flinched inwardly.
Blake was tense, probably a little annoyed too… Ruby could feel the tension draining out of Blake, little by little… in truth though, it was by slow fractions and tiny degrees. Ruby had grown used to this by now. A single muttered phrase against Blake’s shoulder the only thing she could offer. “We forgot the nightlight…” She said guiltily.
“We did what?” Weiss was mad about that, Ruby could tell…
“We left it behind in the move by mistake. Ruby’s been in here without one and she neglected to tell us.” Blake’s voice was resigned at that, and Ruby couldn’t blame either of them for being unhappy… she should have told them, but… she had her pride… she thought she could handle it. “Go lay back down Ruby, I’ll be up in a second.”
“Can you open the window?” Ruby asked, swallowing hard, her voice felt a little shaky. She hoped they didn’t notice… that they wouldn’t ask…
She heard them talking around her about how dangerous it was without a nightlight around, and she felt guilty about just how true that was. Numbly she climbed back up to the loft bed and settled in… her mind both racing and a slow crawl. It was had to focus, adrenaline at war with exhaustion… but… Weiss was right… Ruby Rose, nineteen years old, a fully-fledged huntress… if she couldn’t see in the dark after such a violent nightmare and tried to fight back, she might hurt someone…
They were changing up the sleeping arrangements again, all because of her…
“Oh, no you don’t… you aren’t squashing me between our two side sleepers, you hog the bed.” It was feeling Blake pick her up that pulled her from her thoughts once more. Ruby couldn’t help but feel a little lost, being unceremoniously plopped into the middle of the bed. “I refuse to be crushed by all three of you at once. The bed is too small. Weiss gets to be the buffer.”
It seemed as if that was exactly the thing that was going to happen.
“Wake me up again and die.” That’s what Weiss said, but it was an empty threat cast out to all of them for being disturbed once already… but then, those beautiful vibrant blue eyes looked to her. Ruby felt safe and secure in that gaze, agitated or not, there was concern there too. The iciness aside, there was love. “And you stay put. No more wild and crazy dreams.”
“But Weiss-” Ruby said, only to be silenced.
“Shut up, lay still.” It was a demand, prickly and chilly, but every bit a comfort as Weiss pulled her close, allowed her to nestle in. Ruby felt Blake at her back, and Weiss at her front. Protected on all sides from her own wayward thoughts, ensconced in reminders those dreams couldn’t possibly hold true. “I promise you, I can be far more terrifying than whatever you conjured up this time... let me go to sleep.”
Ruby swallowed hard, and closed her eyes… she didn’t want to… she hated the idea with so many dark thoughts so fresh in her mind… feeling so guilty for being a bother really didn’t help either, but… well… Weiss was warm… Blake was too… and Yang was on the far side of the bed, the powerhouse fighter and first line of defense. A promise that nothing bad would ever happen to Weiss or to Blake.
No matter if she failed them as a leader or not… Yang just wouldn’t ever let them get hurt… not on her watch… her team was there, and she was allowed to rest.
Laying with her head against that small bosom, she could hear that gently beating heart. Weiss was consistent that way, always had been. Ruby could so easily feel the tenderness beneath harsh rebuke… and she did fall asleep that way, another restless slumber falling over her.
At least this time, the dream wasn’t another nightmare awaiting her…