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You stand at the top of a tall hill under a cloudless blue sky. The cold air tries to force its way through the thick, itchy layers your mother bundled you in that morning. As you take position on your sled, you nervously look down the long slope of packed snow, ending in a steep ramp near the bottom of the hill. Taking a deep breath, you push yourself forwards, speeding down the slope. With every meter you travel, both your sled and your heart race faster and faster; as you hit the ramp and leave the ground, your heart soars as high as your body above the sparkling white snow as you let out a shriek of exhilaration...
NERVOUSNESS BRAVERY EXHILARATION
At first, there is only this. The world begins with the hill and ends with the shriek. There is nothing else. Until…
“Hello?”
the voice rings out clear from down the hall as you enter your home. A mischievous smile curving onto your lips, you silently press your back to the wall outside the end of the hallway, just out of sight.
“...hello?”
the voice calls out again, more uncertain this time. You hear footsteps as he makes his way down the hall, towards you. You giggle inwardly at the anticipation of what comes next, struggling to contain your mirth.
“...hel-“
“BOO!” you shout, suddenly jumping out. You laugh at the expression on his face, his shriek of surprise. This never gets old!...
MISCHIEVOUS ANTICIPATION MIRTH
Before, there was just NERVOUSNESS BRAVERY EXHILARATION, bound between hill sky cold air and ramp shriek snow ; now, there is also MISCHIEVOUS ANTICIPATION MIRTH , hello, hallway, smile, boo, laughter.
It was once a single wayward memory, aware of nothing outside of itself. A drop of gold drifting through eternity, oblivious to the chaotic cacophony of human thought surrounding it. Yet when it merges with another like it, it feels itself grow; the boundaries it scarcely knew were there swell. It knows not why this change occurred, nor does it care to. It spends an eternity or a millisecond basking in its growth as it unknowingly drifts toward yet another speck of gold.
“I don’t really know how to dance”, you say nervously.
“Just do whatever feels natural” she replies encouragingly.
You start to sway your body, awkwardly at first, but a grin forms on your face as you let go of the self-conscious thoughts about how you look, enjoying the thrill of the moment and taking it all in as you dance. You hear the music over the chatter of the crowd. The air is warm and humid, but not uncomfortably so. The starflies overhead dimly light the area, but you can see many people dancing or talking. You probably look like a fool, but you don’t care for a change…
NERVOUS SELF-CONSCIOUS THRILL music dancing warm air dim lights crowd starflies
The dancing , music, crowd, NERVOUS, SELF-CONSCIOUS, THRILL, and the rest mix with the world within, filling it with new sensations. The fledgling ghost becomes aware of both the new memories and the old with a new clarity, feeling them mesh and mix into a medley of feelings, bound by a golden bubble.
For the first time in its young, or perhaps ancient, existence, it turns its attention to the world outside of itself. It lacks eyes with which to see and ears with which to hear, but such senses are unnecessary in a dimension composed of thought. Instead of seeing copper plains alongside red mountains and dark crevices, it feels the endless expanses of BOREDOM CONTENTMENT EXHAUSTION, crushing mounds of RAGE DISGUST LOATHING alongside bottomless crevices of LONELINESS GRIEF SHAME REGRET.
But these emotions hold no interest to the ghost. Instead, it seeks out the drifting feelings that it recognizes from within itself; the feelings that unite the jumbled and discordant memories filling the world within: DARING AWE ECSTASY PASSION EXCITEMENT WONDERLUST LOVE
You shriek with excitement as father grabs you and lifts you into the air…
You look down at the water below. Taking a deep breath as you steel your nerves, you jump. Hugging your legs to your torso, you feel the sudden shock as you splash into the water below...
You beam as you hold your trophy above your head, your heart swelling of all the pride a seven year old can muster…
With every memory, sensation, and feeling consumed, the ghost feels itself grow; with each new growth, the world within becomes bigger, deeper, more complex. The golden, squid-shaped ghost basks in the newness added to this world. The world with countless layers of joy, each a unique blend of emotion and sensation. A world constantly craving more, a world of wonder at what the next experience will bring.
HOPE AROUSAL INSPIRATION EAGERNESS LOYALTY ADMIRATION FASCINATION ZEAL PRIDE CURIOSITY BOLDNESS SURPRISE BRAVERY DELIGHT ENTHUSIASM ARDOR
Something new suddenly appears: a jumble of memories and feelings, tightly bound some force. As the force disappears, the now unfettered collection of memories begins to unravel, gold and red strands of experience and thought spilling out. The ghost darts towards the feast with abandon, as do many others, racing to sate their hunger. They converge on the mass, a curtain of gold enveloping the blue.
ANGER EMBARRASSMENT JOY GUILT DESIRE FEAR CURIOSITY SATISFACTION WONDER BOREDOM CONFUSION DISGUST TRIUMPH DESPAIR and countless others
“FUCK YOU!” you scream angrily with tears in your eyes...
“What is that?” you say, moving your head in for a closer look...
“Race you to the top!” you call out…
“I dunnoe, I just feel like my life isn’t going anywhere, you know? Everyday is just more of the same…” you say, staring down at the ground...
You throw back your head and laugh so hard you fall to the floor...
So much blood…Why, just why !?...
The ghost takes only the good and joyful, barely registering the threads of boredom or pain. As the feast ends, the golden swarm scatters, each in search of a new thrill of discovery.
Although it does not form original thoughts or memories of its own, this ghost feels the desire to experience more ; the same desire felt by the people who once pranked and chased their friends. Who danced like nobody was watching and who felt themselves weightless in the air. Who chased and triumphed and laughed and explored. Large or small, such bright, undying memories are too restless to stay put, and too powerful to be truly forgotten.