Work Text:
Adam had lost his pen. This was not the kind of situation that generally brought on the kind of apocalyptic feelings of dread that he was currently experiencing, when most people lost their pens they were calm and collected and came to the reasonable conclusion that they could just buy a new one from the shop around the corner. This was not how Adam felt.
“Lynch, have you seen my pen?” He asked from under the table where he was currently searching. Ronan had a weird general knowledge of where things were in his space (wether this was just a skill or because it was usually him that had moved it was a constant debate) so if the pen was in fact in the apartment Ronan would probably know.
“Why the fuck would I even be slightly aware of where your pen is, Parrish?” Ronan responded absently. He was lounging on Adam’s mattress while he stroked chainsaw, taking no interest in Adam’s frantic hunting.
“Well, could you please just help me look for it?” Ordinarily Adam would never have asked for help with such a small thing but the pen had become very important to him and he and Ronan had been growing gradually closer over the past couple of weeks, as was demonstrated by Ronan’s near constant presence in his small and draughty apartment.
After emitting a long and arduous groan, Ronan pulled himself off of the mattress (much to Chainsaw’s displeasure, going by her violent squawk) and began to help with the search, peering under the crate that served as a bedside table.
“Thank you” said Adam, honestly he had not expected Ronan to move.
“What are friends for?” This statement came with a sardonic grin as Ronan got up and walked through to the bathroom “Why are we even looking for a pen? I can see at least three other pens, all the exact same, on your desk right now”
That was the real question, wasn't it, why was Adam so hell bent on retrieving the pen. The answer was a long story from back when he lived with his parents, in the shitty trailer and when he was working even more than he did now.
The pen itself wasn't anything special, a standard ball point, but it meant a lot to him, he never got rid of it, when it ran out he bought the same pen again and switched the ink cartridges, resulting in a drawer full of empty pens.
“I just like it, okay?” Adam said, almost aggressively. Ronan seemed to get the message that this was not comfortable topic and and wisely reverted back into their companionable silence.
This silence was only broken when, with a cry victory, Ronan jumped up from under the desk where he had been looking, he banged his head and began violently swearing but raised his hand in triumph, holding the pen. Adam sighed in relief when he saw it and sent a silent prayer of thanks to a god he still did not believe in.
He ran over to Ronan and grabbed the pen straight from his hands, practically hugging the stupid little thing, the moment only broken when Ronan enquired if he should give the two of them some space.
That night, after Adam had spent hours checking and re-checking homework and Ronan had gone to Monmouth, gotten slightly drunk, sobered up and returned. They were lying next to each other in the small church apartment, well, not really next to each other, Adam was lying on a mattress while Ronan was slightly lower on the ground. This had become their habitual position in the room and most of the time they avoided talking at the risk of pissing the other off to much and breaking the spell that seemed to exist in these moments, Adam didn’t have the words to exactly describe the feeling but he knew that whatever it was, it made him feel less lonesome and slightly more knowable.
Today seemed different though, lately Adam had been noticing things, strange things, things that were mostly about Ronan. The things that he had noticed were:
1. Ronan has really nice eyelashes, like they were really long and thick and made his eyes look dark and mysterious
2. The tattoo on Ronan’s back was really… nice to look at, he found himself wanting to trace is fingers over the lines across his back
3. Ronan was not quite as much of an arsehole as he wanted everyone to think he was, he noticed things, and if they were bad then he did whet he could to help, exhibit 1: the hand lotion, Adam seriously doubted that anyone else had noticed his chapped hands, much less dreamt up hand lotion!
4. Ronan was the sort of person who kept secrets, if anyone told him anything that wasn't his business then he wouldn't tell anyone, this applied equally to those who he cared about and those who he despised
5. Adam, for some reason completely unknown to everyone, including himself and any possibly existing deities, really wanted to kiss him
Not that he would actually ever kiss him, that would be weird and might mess with their unspoken agreement. But it would probably be nice, another thing that Adam had noticed was that Ronan had nice lips, they looked soft, in complete contrast to the rest of his sharp features.
Before Adam could allow his wayward thoughts to go any further down this strange, and by now well established road, Ronan broke the silence.
“This might be a weird question, Parrish, but why do you care so much about your pen? I get that you can’t just buy new ones all the fucking time but there are pens literally all over this apartment?”
The question was strange, he doubted that any of his other friends would have dared to question his madness at the risk of sounding offensive, but it was also almost expected, this was Ronan Lynch and he tended to take things that other people wouldn't do and do them. The thing was that you never knew if he was doing something because he genuinely wanted to or because he was just trying to be recalcitrant.
Then Adam remembered number four on his list of observations, the one about Ronan keeping secrets, and decided that, fuck it, he would just tell him the story. Ronan already knew more about Adam’s old life than anyone else, and he was the most quietly supportive of Adam’s choices, helping in a way that was somehow much more acceptable than Gansey’s.
“Erm, well, it’s kind of a long story,” Adam said, voice barely above a whisper, “my mum gave me it when I got the scholarship.” There was a pause here, Ronan remained silent and absolutely still as Adam gathered his thoughts. “My dad didn’t take it well, you can probably guess what happened…”
As Adam momentarily trailed off he noticed Ronan’s hands tightening into fists, this was comforting in a weird way, to know that someone got angry for him, instead of at him, and made him push on with the story.
“And I guess that I didn't expect any reaction at all from mum, she was just quiet and never said all that much anyway. She knew what was happening and that I was trying to get out but she didn't say anything at all and I think I was hoping for… something. Anyway, nothing happened for a couple of days, we just went back to normal but one night, when dad was out, she came into my room and handed me the pen and told me that it was to help me get out of there.”
Telling the story had been a bit of an emotional moment and made Adam feel slightly scared at the memory and guilty that he had left his mum there. But in some strange and twisted way, it also felt good to share the story with someone, to know that someone was there for him and would actually listen when he felt like sharing random stories from his past. It was not an activity he wanted to repeat straight away buy it was good to know that it was an option.
Adam then realised that there was a stray tear leaking down his face and he moved a hand to wipe it away as he sat up. It appeared that Ronan had also noticed this as he sat up too and moved himself onto the mattress, he then looped his long arms around Adam in a comforting hug.
“I’m sorry” was all that Ronan said, but it wasn't said out of pity, it was just an expression that he wished that none of it had happened, that Adam had better parents, that he didn't have to work three jobs just to get by, that he wasn't living in a freezing attic. This made Adam’s heart feel like it had spontaneously decided to practice an acrobatics routine.
It also made observation number five seem a lot more real and far less deniable, so, in a dazed state, Adam reached up and pushed Ronan away ever so slightly, before pressing their mouths together. He heard a sharp inhale from Ronan and noticed him pulling away.
“What the actual fuck Parrish?” Ronan exclaimed, not in a disgusted tone as some may expect, but almost a whisper, Ronan was surprised, Adam would have taken a moment to document a moment he never thought he would see but he was too bust freaking out. Maybe he had read the situation wrong, he had seen Ronan looking at him observing Adam as much asAdam was observing him. All of this manic thinking and a few other things happened in seconds in his brain and he rapidly came to the conclusion that if he had already told one uncomfortable truth that evening then he might as well adopt a ‘go big or go home’ philosophy for the night.
“I like you” was all he said.
This seemed to come as a massive shock to Ronan, who took a moment to look dazed before replying with a “Fuck, Parrish” before kissing him firmly on the mouth.
They kissed fiercely for a few moments, all tongues and teeth and feeling like they would be ripped apart at any minute. Adam broke the kiss and took a second to catch his breath, “Call me Adam” was all that he said before returning to the embrace.
Ronan’s response came as nothing more than a muffled “Adam” against his lips.
They kissed hotly for a few more minutes before the kisses became more languid and lazy as they moved to lay down on the bed, eventually they fell asleep, wrapped up in each other and completely ignoring the rest of the world.