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SOLACE (noun)
comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness
He needed to stop looking at Raquel like that.
It was bad enough that he referred to her as Raquel, Sergio admonished himself. He’d always been careful to keep his workplace relationships professional. Not even his colleagues who he’d been working with for decades called him by his first name. And neither would he ever use theirs. Some of them probably didn’t even know his first name.
What had gotten into him when he’d told Raquel—an intern who’d switch back to her old department in two days—to call him Sergio? More importantly, what had he been thinking by letting her sleep on his sofa tonight? He didn’t even know when he’d last had guests over to sit on that sofa, let alone sleep over.
If any of his colleagues found out about this, he would be screwed. She would be screwed. The rumors about what seemed to be going on between him and Raquel were bad enough, especially since she’d still have her assessment talk with Tamayo on Friday. If he had seen them leave together this evening, he wouldn’t hesitate to write a bad report for Raquel. All the weeks she’d spent in this horrible environment would have been for nothing.
In contrast to most interns they’d had, she’d smiled her way through this horrible time. There wasn’t a single stupid task she’d refused to do. Not a single day she’d taken sick leave. Not a single time she’d forgotten how to be polite. He would never be able to live with himself if all this got rewarded with a bad report, just because Tamayo believed that she was sucking up to Sergio.
Watching her breathe steadily, wrapped into his blanket, Sergio couldn’t help but feel his heart ache. This was all his fault. He should have stayed away from the day they’d met. He should have admitted to himself that his interest in her couldn’t lead anywhere good.
But Raquel had made it anything but easy for him to keep his distance. There was something about her—something about her mesmerizing smile in a place of grumpy people—that had filled him with curiosity. He wanted to get to know her, to actually teach her something, to help her. And, he twitched his lips in shame, to be near her.
It had been so hard to come up with new things he could teach her sometimes. Still, Sergio had always tried to find something—even when there had barely been anything to do at the office. Partly to help her gain anything from this horrible internship. But mostly to have her sit another hour of the day next to him.
Watching her nod at his explanations from the corner of his eye and listening to the clever questions she’d slipped in had always made time pass fast. Moreover, it had made Sergio wake up and go to the office with a smile on his face in the morning, when he’d usually preferred to work from home.
He should have realized that there was something between them. And whatever it was, he should have expected that it would cause both of them nothing but trouble. But instead of using his brain the way a man of forty-one should be able to, he’d dragged her to this stupid party. He’d had this… moment with her on the balcony. He’d suggested she slept over tonight instead of paying for a taxi and a hotel for her.
He let out a quiet sigh, careful not to wake her up. Whatever he was feeling for her, it wasn’t appropriate. Moreover, it was pointless—in only a few days, she’d work in another city again. If he was lucky, they’d meet at a random conference one day again. If not, he’d never get to talk to her again once this week was over. A heaviness he’d never felt before settled in Sergio’s heart, making his chest feel tight.
If he couldn’t keep her, he had to at least make sure that this entire mess he’d caused wouldn’t ruin her career. And there was only one way to do so. Determined, he glanced at her one last time before he headed to his office.