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It had been a long day. The inquisitor had defeated her first high dragon and Thedas was up in arms over it. Everyone wanted a piece of the thing. Cullen and Josephine had been working around the clock all day. It was late, the sun had gone down hours ago. The annoyance of it all had given Cullen a headache. His hands were sore from writing letters “retelling the tale” to every noble who wanted to hear it. Not sore from fighting, not sore from training, but sore from writing so many blasted letters. With one last aggravated sigh he decided enough was enough and it was time to give up for the day and turn in. He stood up and started putting everything back into his desk, in its rightful place, when outside, not too far from him, he could hear laughter and a bit of yelling.
That’s odd. Who is still up at this time?
It was getting louder. He could faintly make out the words “that’s where she wants to go” before a loud shh caused the Inquisitor’s familiar voice to yell out. “Don’t shush me!” Followed immediately by Iron Bull’s laughter.
Next up was Dorians voice. It was strained, serious, but trying so hard to be quiet. “Stop it. He’s probably already in bed. You’re just going to wake him up. Take her back to her room.”
“She doesn’t want to go back to her room. She wants to go to Cullen’s.” Iron Bull replied back calmly, and the Inquisitor’s pleased giggling followed suit. Cullen’s attention was on them. He was still standing next to his desk but he was trying to quiet his breathing and not move a muscle so he could hear them clearly. The footsteps were drawing closer.
“Bull! Enough! This is your fault! Don’t make it worse. Take her to her OWN room.” Dorian spat but this time it was the Inquisitor who shh-ed him. “Unbelievable. Never mind. Fine. I don’t care. Wake him up.” They couldn’t have been more than few feet away. Cullen was waiting for a knock on his door but the next sounds were different. There was a scuffling of a boot, a large thud, the Inquisitor letting out a small scream and Dorian groaning. Cullen rushed to his door and flung it open.
“I…I don’t know what I was expecting.” The scene before Cullen was a trainwreck. Iron Bull had apparently been carrying the Inquisitor, tripped, and instead of just dropping her, he had flung her to the side as he fell. Maybe so he didn't land on her? Who knew? The Bull was now laying on his stomach, face in the ground, laughing. The Inquisitor herself was a few feet to the side, bleeding from the elbow, and laughing so hard she sounded like she may choke. And Dorian, standing a few feet behind the whole mess with his arms crossed and an annoyed look on his face.
The tevinter mage looked at Cullen and immediately defended himself. “I had nothing to do with this. I found them this drunk, so don’t even try blaming me.”
The Inquisitor, still laughing and laying in the fetal position, chimed in. “I’m not drunk. You’re drunk.”
The Iron Bull pushed himself back onto his feet but stumbled a little and had to lean against Cullen’s door frame to steady himself. “I hate to break it to you Boss. But you are definitely drunk.”
Cullen walked over to the Inquisitor and took her arm gently, observing the ripped fabric of her shirt and the elbow injury. It was just a scrape, and she seemed completely unaware of it. Instead she put both arms up in the air, a bit over Cullen’s shoulders, giggled and demanded. “Carry me.”
“What?” Cullen was smiling but he didn’t want to. He wanted to be annoyed with her for being this drunk but maker she was adorable sometimes.
“Carry me. I will not walk. I am the Inquisitor and I want my love to carry me.”
Dorian smiled up at the Commander. “I’m sure you were trying to keep this little relationship hush hush. But whatever Iron Bull had her drinking has made her quite chatty. Ah and do be careful. She starts talking elven if you make her angry.”
Wonderful. Cullen got an arm under her knees and another around her back and scooped her up, much to her delight. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaned her face against his shoulder, and waved at Dorian. “Good night boys! You’re both wonderful. Don’t ever change.”
The Templar started walking back into his quarters, shooting Iron Bull a glare. The qunari took a hint and left the scene of the crime. Dorian followed behind him giving him an ear full. “You know she’s an elf. She's tiny! She can’t drink that much. Why would you keep giving her drinks? I won’t defend you when the spy master comes after you.”
In her current state, there was no way Cullen would be able to get her up the ladder. It seemed the better idea to take her to her room after all. The quickest route would be through Solas’s room. With any luck, he wouldn’t be in. The Inquisitor was humming the song the bard had written for Sera and Cullen couldn’t help but look down at her and laugh. “Maker, you’re a mess.”
She beamed up at him, lifted herself enough to be able to kiss him on the cheek and responding. “But you adore me. Onward Commander. You need to put me to bed.” At least she was right about that. They headed across the bridge, opened the door to Solas’s parlor and tried to walk through. Naturally, Solas was there. And also awake. He was detailing his paintings on the wall. He appeared calm at first. “Commander. What can I do for y…”
The Inquisitor had pushed herself out of Cullen’s arms and was now stumbling into the arms of Solas. She put her hands on each side of his face and smiled. “Solas, if you drink so much you pass out do you still go to the Fade?” That made him laugh harder than Cullen had ever heard. He was a bit jealous of how close the Inquisitor was to him but he was trying to ignore it.
“Lethallan, who let you drink this much?”
“Iron Bull.” She didn’t even try to hide it. Her smile was huge and her eyes were starting to flutter shut but she tattled on her friend all the same.
Solas continued to laugh. “We will discuss the fade some other time. For now I think you should let the good commander take you to bed.”
“Okay.” She put up zero protest. She walked back towards Cullen, put her arms back around his neck, and already knowing where this was going he hoisted her back up into his arms. He exchanged an awkward glance with Solas before continuing through. “Sorry about this.”
“Not at all. I found this rather enjoyable. We should let her drink more often.”
“Yes! Yes you should.” She pointed at Solas from over Cullen’s shoulders and continued laughing as he hurried her across the grand hall and into her room. The stairs were a bit of a challenge but he made it to her bed all the same, softly setting her down into the pillows. She rolled onto her side, closed her eyes and for a moment he thought she had already fallen asleep. Instead she inquired. “Hey Cullen?”
“Yes?”
“I killed a high dragon today.”
He chuckled. “I know. It was quite the battle, so I hear.”
There was a few moments of silence so he slowly started to leave. Until, “Cullen?”
“Yes?”
She sat up this time. Looking at him through tired eyes yet smiling. “I love you.”
“And I love you.” He put a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her closer so that he could press his lips against her forehead. Again she giggled but when he pulled away she slumped back into her pillows. He waited a few moments to ensure she had actually fallen asleep this time before leaving. As silly as that situation played out, all he could think about at the moment was how terrible of a mood she was going to be in tomorrow.
Andraste preserve us. She is going to be a nightmare tomorrow.