Chapter Text
6 Hours
To be a pro hero is more than kicking villain ass; taking care of your community is just as important. Katsuki isn’t a poster child for altruism and benevolence, but he does what he can. That’s why, once every couple of months, he feeds the hungry.
“What are you making today, Explodey?” Kaminari asks, draping himself over his shoulders.
Katsuki promptly explodes him away. Sure, he’ll feed the idiots, but he’s not going to put up with unnecessary affection. It’s already enough that he left work at 4 pm to buy groceries for their dinner.
“Curry.”
“Again?” the idiot whines. “You always make curry!”
“Would you rather starve?” he threatens.
“Leave Bakubro alone, Kami,” Kirishima intervenes. “His curry is the best!”
“Yeah, and everyone knows what matters is the drinks Sero will mix for us later!” Ashido cheers, putting a couple of bottles of liquor in the cart Kirishima is pushing.
“Oh, talking about Sero, shouldn’t he be here to buy the booze with us?” Kirishima asks.
Katsuki also thought it was weird that the troop of idiots was one man short; they always go together to buy food and drinks for their nights at Kirishima’s place. But, unlike Kirishima, Katsuki didn’t care enough to ask.
“Oh, Sero is busy,” Kaminari says, wiggling his eyebrows in what he must think it’s a very telling way. Katsuki and Kirishima look at him confused. “You know, busy?” he does the eyebrow thing again.
“He has patrol?” Kirishima tries.
“He has a date,” Ashido puts them out of their misery, rolling her eyes.
“It’s not just a date,” Kaminari says dramatically. “Our dear Sero is having the best sex of his life!”
“Really? How do you know that?” Kirishima, the eternally curious idiot, probes.
“He told me.” There’s smugness in Kaminari’s voice as if he’s proud of knowing the sex life of their friend. “We had patrol together just the other day and he couldn’t stop talking about this new guy he’s seeing and how they fuck like rabbits the whole time they’re together.”
“Kissing and telling… So not manly,” Kirishima states, shaking his head disappointed.
Katsuki can’t help but agree with him, though he would use other words.
“Bros don’t have secrets with each other,” Kaminari defends. “And from what Sero said, he and his new guy are quite sex-positive and have no qualms in expressing themselves as such.”
“Meaning, Sero is fucking a slut,” Katsuki translates Kaminari’s bullshit.
“Now who is not being manly?” Ashido taunts. “There’s nothing wrong in being open about your sexuality. If it makes them happy, more power to them! Let them fuck to their hearts’ content!”
With Mina’s call out, Katsuki bites his tongue. She’s right. He doesn’t know anything about Sero’s new guy, but he knows Sero has a very healthy view of sex. He was the first one in their class to come out as not-straight, bisexual in his case. This paved the way for several other students to be more open about their sexualities, including Katsuki himself.
It was actually after Sero joked about what type of guys he liked that Katsuki felt comfortable enough to say something about the guys he didn’t like. Yeah, that’s how Bakugou came out as gay to his friends, stating that no matter how hot someone is, he’d never go out with a guy that was too dumb to understand high-school-level math.
After that, it became common for their little group of friends to talk openly about preferences and experiences. They were there through Kirishima’s experimental stage where he wanted to find out where his fascination with ‘manly’ reached, and they were there when the boy decided that what he really liked were assertive girls. They were there for Ashido’s short relationship with Jirou. They were there for Kaminari when he found out he was really into being fucked in the ass, regardless of the gender of the person doing the fucking.
So, to know that Sero and his new guy have been fucking like rabbits is not really out of the ordinary for them. And if Sero’s new guy is also into this shit… Yeah, Katsuki was being the asshole for judging them.
The group continues shopping and, after getting everything they need for dinner, they make their way to Kirishima’s place. Of course they took longer than they should at the supermarket because Kaminari kept insisting on buying more snacks, so it’s already 6 pm when Katsuki invades Kirishima’s kitchen to start cooking dinner.
“I’m going to call Sero to see if he’s coming!” Kirishima offers.
“Hell no!” Katsuki interrupts him. “You focus on peeling these carrots or else we won’t be eating today!”
“It’s fine, I’ll leave it in speaker mode so my hands will be free,” Kirishima reassures him before hitting the call button.
Kaminari and Ashido are busy setting up the living room for their Mario Kart session, so the only noises in the kitchen are vegetables being chopped and the phone’s calling sound. That’s why when the call connects, it’s impossible to not hear the breathy moan that resonates through it. Kirishima’s eyes grow huge in surprise and even Katsuki can’t help a blush blooming on his cheeks.
“Hey, what’s up?” Sero’s voice comes through the call sounding breathless.
Another whimpering moan comes right after.
“He-hey, bro,” Kirishima stutters embarrassed. “Just wondering if you’re on your way.”
“Kinda busy right now,” Sero says with a chuckle — followed by a loud cry from his partner. The bastard is literally fucking his guy while on a call with them, and both seem to be pretty into it. “Is Baku cooking already?”
“Ye-yeah,” Kirishima answers. “But no hurry! We just started. Take—take your time? Yeah. Bye.”
Kirishima quickly slams the end call button. His face is as red as his hair and Katsuki can see a very telling bulge inside his pants. Great, now Kirishima will be thinking about sex the whole night and Katsuki will be lucky if the carrots he gave him to chop don’t come out looking like dildos.
Katsuki shakes his head and huffs before getting back to work. Fucking horny bastards.
Luckily, Ashido and Kaminari invade the kitchen not long after, dispelling the awkwardness with their annoying screeches. Katsuki gets busy trying to defend the unfinished food from the idiots and the whole situation with Sero is forgotten—until the food is almost ready.
“I’m almost done. Have you idiots set the table?” Katsuki asks when he sees the curry is almost finished.
“No… But how many plates do I get? Is Sero bringing the new guy?” Kaminari asks, looking confused at the plate cabinet.
“Is he even coming at all? He seemed pretty… Ahn—Busy when I called,” Kirishima says, awkwardness coming back as he remembers the call.
“It’s been an hour, he must be on the train already,” Ashido reasons.
“The food will be ready in five minutes. I’m not letting it go cold waiting for that idiot,” Katsuki threatens.
“Let me call him,” Ashido offers, already picking up her phone. “I’m sure he must be almost here.”
Rolling his eyes, Katsuki turns to order Kaminari, “Set the table for five. If the new guy comes, we can just get an extra plate.”
Katsuki turns his focus back to the pot he was stirring, adding the finishing touches to the food, Kirishima busies himself with cups and drinks. A few minutes later, Ashido returns with a wicked smile on her face.
“Sero is running late. He told us to go ahead and eat without him but save a plate for him and his new guy,” she says and then adds in a voice full of barely-hidden meanings, “And we better save them a lot of food because the boys are going to need it.”
Kirishima gasps, surprised, “Still? But it’s been over an hour!”
“Oh, so that’s why you said he was busy,” Ashido giggles.
“Damn, Sero said he and the guy can fuck for hours but I didn’t think it was literally hours!” Kaminari interjects. “I’m pretty sure he was already having sex when I called asking if he was going to meet us at the market!”
Katsuki scoffs, “There’s no fucking way. The idiot is messing with us. He can’t be fucking for over three hours.”
“Why would he pretend to us to be having sex?” Kirishima asks, confused.
“Yeah, it doesn’t make sense. It’s not like we care,” Ashido agrees.
“And he never misses squad nights,” Kaminari completes.
“So we’re just going to believe those assholes are fucking for three hours?” Katsuki asks in disbelief.
It can’t be.
It can’t be… Right?
It’s not like Katsuki has a vast sexual experience, he’s on the more conservative side in this aspect of life, but he’s pretty sure two guys can’t fuck for that long without someone’s dick falling off.
Dinner is seasoned with a big pinch of awkwardness and mischief. Kirishima really personifies his hero name and looks red as a tomato, while Ashido and Kaminari giggle the whole time and throw innuendos around. From time to time, one of them comments on the added time Sero and the new guy have been theoretically fucking.
“Three hours and fifteen minutes now!”
“Three hours and a half! I hope they’re keeping hydrated!”
“Almost four hours! I guess it’ll take them just as long in the shower to wash it all off!”
They finish eating and start the second part of their evening — Mario Kart and drinks. Without Sero there, the cocktails aren’t as refined or complex; Ashido just mixes some vodka with cranberry juice. Katsuki, as usual, prefers to stick to beer; someone needs to babysit the drunk idiots.
As the video game tournament gets heated—Mina, the undisputed champion of the night, almost melts Kaminari’s hair with acid when he locks into Peach, her character —the thoughts about Sero’s delay are relegated to the back of their minds. But there’s a distinct lack of Luigi on the screen that can’t be ignored.
“So… Hmm… I don’t think Sero is coming tonight,” Kirishima says after they finish a Mushroom Cup.
“It’s been over five hours…” Ashido comments with a hint of teasing in her voice.
Katsuki rolls his eyes at her implication.
“The losers must be sleeping,” he states without a doubt. “There’s no way—”
The doorbell interrupts Katsuki. Everyone looks around at each other for answers before Kirishima gets up to open the door.
“Oh! Hey! You guys came!” Kirishima greets Sero and who must be the new guy.
“Hey, man,” Sero greets in his easy tone. “This is Midoriya Izuku. Izuku, this is Kirishima Eijirou.”
The new guy, Midoriya, enters right behind Sero. Katsuki doesn’t pay attention to the greetings and niceties going around the room, he just offers a nod when Sero points at him and says his name. Everyone is being polite and welcoming Sero’s date as if they weren’t wondering about how long they had been fucking just a second ago, but Katsuki has other things on his mind.
Other things being ‘Shit, Sero’s guy is fucking hot’.
He looks like a little plump cherub. Chubby cheeks, soft belly, big, fat ass that must jiggle as he takes a pounding. He also has gems for eyes and constellations on his skin. No wonder Sero can’t keep his hand off the guy, Katsuki doesn’t think he’d be fairing much better if he was in his friend’s place.
“Do you guys want to eat? We saved you some,” Kirishima offers, breaking Katsuki’s line of thought.
“Sure! Hanta told me all about Dynamight’s legendary curry!” Midoriya agrees with a bright smile that pulls on his squishy cheeks.
“No need for hero names here! Tonight we’re off duty and you won’t see quirks going off unless Bakubro throws another blue shell at Ashido!” Kaminari jokes.
“Or unless you try to steal my character again!” Ashido threatens him.
“Well, I guess I’m going to pray for several blue shells, then. I’d love to see your amazing quirks from up close!” Midoriya giggles cutely.
Sero chuckles and hugs Midoriya’s shoulder. “Izuku here is kind of a hero fanboy. First time we met, I got the pleasure of spending half an hour listening to him talk about my own quirk.”
“Hey! It was not that long!” Midoriya protests with humor.
“The line was all the way out of the door when you finally gave me my receipt,” Sero teases.
“Do you work as a cashier, Midoriya?” Kirishima asks, two full bowls of curry in hand as he wordlessly urges them to the table.
“I’m a barista, but I work the till too,” Midoriya answers while taking a seat. “Thank you, this really looks amazing!”
“Izuku works in a coffee shop in my patrol district. I go there in my breaks for his lattes,” Sero explains, throwing a wink to Midoriya’s way that said it’s more than beverages he gets when he comes by. “He also goes to XX University here in the city.”
“Really? What are you majoring in? My sister studies there as well!” Ashido joins them at the table, trying to know more about the newcomer.
“Journalism! And your sister?”
“She’s into fashion and arts,” Ashido answers proudly.
And just like that, it’s like everyone forgot about the ‘Were they really fucking for four hours?’ issue. Midoriya is cute and nice, and seems to charm everyone in the room. Even Katsuki can’t help but get involved when they start talking about Midoriya’s obsession with All Might—the nerd says the Bronze Age is the best and Katsuki has opinions about that.
“Hell, fuck no! All he did then was carry civilians around like they were potato sacks! That villain barely posed a threat! You can’t actually think that’s All Might’s best fight!”
“I said it’s All Might’s best moment, not best fight,” Midoriya states, completely unbothered by Katsuki’s aggressive tone. “All Might is at his best when he’s saving people. That night, he saved over a hundred victims on his own!”
“Again, carrying them like damn potato sacks,” Katsuki repeats, rolling his eyes. “Dragging a bunch of civilians away from a building is a support hero’s job, not the job of a true hero.”
Midoriya looks at him scandalized, “You’re saying support heroes aren’t as good as offensive heroes?! You take that back! Recovery Girl, Thirteen, Cementoss, Ragdoll! There are so many great support heroes that I can barely count!”
“And most of them can’t do shit without an offensive hero to deal with the fucking villain! What’s the point in rushing the civilians away if the villain will just hunt them two blocks over?”
“Now, now, that’s enough,” Sero intervenes. “You two are going to get Kirishima in trouble with the neighbors this way.”
“And I dare you to tell Recovery Girl that support heroes aren’t good on their own, Baku,” Ashido challenges him with a roll of eyes.
“That crazy old witch should be fucking retired,” Katsuki grumbles, trying not to admit the old woman would, and could, kick his ass.
The conversation progresses to which pro heroes they had as teachers in UA, what’s the differences between their hero personas and their teacher personas, and things like that. Midoriya’s pretty eyes sparkled at every new nugget of knowledge he could get about the heroes, truly a fanboy.
Katsuki has to admit that he’s not a mindless fanboy, though. Midoriya knows his shit about heroes, their quirks, and their styles. At some point, he confesses he wants to be a hero reporter or hero analyst when he graduates, and Katsuki honestly thinks Midoriya has what it takes to be one. He’s clearly quite intelligent and dedicated—which, combined with a thick, sexy body, and the cute face, makes him quite a package.
The way Midoriya’s cheeks turn pink as the night and the booze roll in is also terribly endearing. More than once Katsuki catches himself watching the guy—and promptly turns his eyes away. Sure, Midoriya is exactly his type, but Katsuki refuses to be the asshole that ogles at his friend’s date. It’s already bad enough that his mind can’t help but wonder time and time again what Sero and Midoriya were actually doing before they arrived.
He’s not the only one, though. The moment Midoriya excuses himself to the restroom, the whispering starts.
“Oh my God, Sero! He’s adorable!” Ashido whispering-screeches.
“Yeah, he is,” Sero chuckles.
“He’s a pretty cool dude,” Kirishima agrees.
“Alright, Midoriya’s great but what we really need to know is: were you two having sex for five hours?” Kaminari goes straight to the point.
Sero bites back a chuckle and shakes his head, light pink tinting his cheeks.
“I told you they were sleeping,” Katsuki huffs.
“No… I think it was over six hours,” Sero corrects them a bit smugly.
“What?” Ashido screeches, this time not whispering.
Kirishima quickly ‘shhs’ her, and she tries again, this time in a more sensitive tone.
“What? Six hours? How? Why? In how many positions? Did you guys stop for water? I have questions.”
“You sure do,” Sero chuckles again, clearly amused with their reaction.
“Dude. Dude. Six hours?” Kaminari parrots. “We need more information than that.”
Katsuki doesn’t say anything but he agrees with them. Usually, he’d be all for respecting people’s privacy but in this situation, the questions are warranted.
“It’s—It wasn’t active sex,” Sero answers but the look everyone gives him makes it clear he’d have to be more specific. “Izuku and I are into cockwarming, and he wanted to watch some All Might documentary series…” he trails off, hoping that’s enough to quench everyone’s curiosity.
“So, what? One of you just sat on the other’s dick during the whole series?” Ashido asks, her eyes blinking owlishly.
“Hm, yeah,” Sero offers a half-smile that showed a bit of embarrassment but a whole lot of pride.
“Holy shit,” Kaminari expresses what they’re all thinking.
Silence stretches as Katsuki, and probably the others in the room, has to overwrite his definitions of what sex is. Sure, a dick going up an ass is sex. But no movement? Just staying there? For hours on end?
It’s impossible for Katsuki’s mind to not conjure the image. Midoriya naked on Sero’s lap, his thick ass smushed against Sero’s athletic thighs, a gentle rocking of bodies that gives just enough friction to keep them going. Sero is a kinky bastard, Katsuki just knows he wouldn’t resist teasing Midoriya from time to time—pinching his nipples, cupping his balls, thumbing the head of his dick. And every time he’d do any of that, Midoriya would squirm on his lap, offering more of the painfully delicious friction their bodies craved.
“Hey! Anyone ready for another round on the Rainbow Road?” Midoriya asks as he arrives from the bathroom, breaking Katsuki away from his dirty fantasy.
“Hell yeah! I’m ready to kick ass!” Ashido jumps in too much excitement, perfectly hiding the awkward tension in the room.
That gives the opportunity everyone needs to shake off their own thoughts and focus back on the moment. Everyone, except Katsuki. Though he manages to get a hold of himself and stop imagining his friend fucking his new boyfriend, his throat feels dry and constricted, and his blood runs hotter than it had just a few minutes before.
“I’m gonna get some fucking water,” he grumbles, walking away to the kitchen before anyone can say anything.
Holy fucking shit. Fuck Sero and Midoriya for fucking up Katsuki’s whole concept of sex. Fuck them for being hot. Fuck them for leaving him so uncomfortable in his own skin without even doing anything. And—Katsuki looks down and realizes he has a boner — fuck them for that too.
From the living room, Katsuki can hear everyone talking about the game and who is going to kick who’s ass. It’s all perfectly innocent and mundane. Katsuki needs to get his act together before joining his friends, but every time he hears Midoriya’s voice, his stupid brain reminds him of the needy moan he heard through the phone when Kirishima called Sero at the beginning of the night.
Frustrated, Katsuki decides to wash the dishes. This is usually Kaminari and Ashido’s job since he already does all the cooking, but he figures the repetitive task and some cold water will help with his predicament.
Katsuki can’t keep thirsting over his friend’s new boyfriend. He just can’t.