Work Text:
They just finished dinner as they walked towards the living room. Another video was posted on Amazingphil. It grew dark out by this time. 2021 is soon to be over, and Christmas passed at this point.
Phil grew anxious. He proceeded to be used to this, but it becomes worse once he uploads a video. Horrible thoughts run through his mind which seizes to help him at all. Phil looked into space while Dan continued reading some books. Phil imagined to himself:
People won't like it.
There must be something wrong with it.
Did I look like a mess?
Dan must've hated doing the video with me.
Dan closed his book due to his boredom. He looked towards Phil out of curiosity. As his eyes focused on the other man's face, Dan knew Phil felt overwhelmed. It was typical for Phil to be nervous after every video. Unfortunate, Phil can not tell everything will be okay
Dan finally spoke up, "No need to be lost in your thoughts, Phil. Everything is going to be alright."
Phil snapped out of his thoughts as Dan spoke up. He just nodded unsure of what exactly Dan said, but just knew where this was going. Everything felt too much for Phil right now: the pandemic, moving in, starting therapy. It was all too overwhelming. Although he knew it all before, videos just make it worse. Making them can be fun and such, but the final version? People's judgment mattered too much to him. Anything can stress out poor Phil quite easily. Even changing his hair took a lot of courage. Both Dan and Phil talked about all of this last night. Phil only hoped that Dan would let it go, but there they were.
After a long silence, Dan added, "I'm sure the video isn't the only thing you're worried about."
"How do you mean?" Phil finally answered.
"I know the new video is bothering you, for sure. However, there's something else on your mind." Dan rambled.
"I don't want to talk about this again, Dan!" Phil yelled without meaning to.
Dan understood that Phil meant no harm in his tone.
"Okay, I understand. I just want you to know that everything is going to be alright. It always does especially for someone like you." Dan smiled.
Once Dan finished his sentence, he moved from his chair to sit next to Phil. Dan used his elbow to bump Phil's arm. It worked when he caught Phil's gaze.
"People will love your video too. I know I do." Dan reassured.
"Of course, you do. You always do. But that doesn't make you count. Why did you have to move seats anyway? Am I concerning you that much?" Phil questioned.
Dan grew a smirk and raised an eyebrow. However, it didn't take long to make him frown again when Phil faced away.
Dan spoke once more, "Phil, I can't imagine what it's like being this anxious. The best I can do is just be there for you."
It's all he can say at the moment. Dan's not good with comforting, or comforting at all; especially, for Phil. It was hard when Phil had ever been so upset.
"Yeah? And?" Phil said. He can be quite rude when he's upset. Dan couldn't blame him, though. Dan himself gets like that too, but right now isn't the time to be angry at Phil unless he hurt his feelings.
"I just . . . I don't know, Phil. I want you to feel like you aren't alone." Dan said defeated.
"I appreciate what you're trying to do, Dan. I also wish I can help myself, so you don't have to worry." Phil said.
"I'm always going to be worried for you, Phil. There's no taking that back. We aren't good at talking about these things, are we?" Dan laughed.
"We? I believe it's just you, Dan. Which is strange considering you published a mental health guide." Phil joined in.
"Oh, I see. You're roasting me now? Is that what makes you feel better?" Dan commented without grudge.
"Maybe. That's what you get for lecturing me yesterday." Phil giggled as he poked Dan's cheek.
Dan figured it was his chance to squeeze Phil into a hug.
"What's gotten you in a clingy mood," Phil said jokingly.
"Ugh, first you're bothered by me sitting next to you, and now you're upset about me hugging you? Come on, Phil!" Dan smiled through his giddiness. Still holding Phil.
Phil finally hugged Dan back.
"Seriously Dan, I'm going to be okay. You don't have to worry about me." Phil reassured.
"Phil, even if you are okay that's not going to stop me from . . . Giving you the affection you deserve." Dan blushed with embarrassment as he pulled away from Phil. But Phil kept his arm around Dan's shoulders.
"Aw! Heh, I seriously don't know why you do that Dan," Phil said sarcastically. He knows exactly why, but he just wanted Dan to say it again.
"Really?" Dan questioned," because you are a lovely person Phil."
"And?" Phil anticipated.
Dan rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what Phil was trying to do. "Maybe because I . . . Love you. Just maybe."
Phil kissed Dan on the cheek and rested his head on his shoulders. "Maybe you are good at comforting me."
Dan returned the gesture by leaning his head on Phil's.
Phil started getting overwhelmed by the affection. Unexplained anxiety which he hates. Too much touching for today. He wishes he could hold Dan like this forever. Phil folded his arm back from Dan and sat back upright. Phil used his hand to shoo Dan away. Dan was disappointed, but he understood that Phil could only handle so much affection. So Dan set back at the chair in which he was originally sitting.
"Thanks for putting up with me Dan." Phil laughed.
"Anything to make you feel better. I'll proudly do." Dan said.
And so, that night. Dan and Phil sat comfortably in the living room. Phil was feeling better, and Dan was proud he could make that happen.