Work Text:
He was done, no more tasks, no more pestering professors, no more pressure to be the top of his class from his father. This year he was living for no one but himself. This was supposed to be an honor. It is anything but, the Dark Lord wanted him to kill the headmaster. Life has gone to shit, the cursed necklace didn’t work neither did the bottle of mead, well it worked just not the intended target.
Draco Malfoy did not want to be a death eater but what other choice did he have, let his father, a man he idolized, rot Azkaban, and then his mum, the woman that has done everything she could for him not to become his father. All her efforts were for naught, Draco Malfoy is a death eater. Walking late around the castle after his latest breakdown he heard footsteps running towards him. When the person running finally got close enough, he saw bushy brown hair and eyes that hadn’t seen him yet. Granger wasn’t in uniform; she had on a sage jumper and black trousers that hugged her body and looked like she had been crying, but the second she saw him standing there she looked with the need to curse him.
“Malfoy?”
“Granger”
They looked at each other for a moment. In that moment one thought crossed Draco’s mind, She looked gorgeous crying. He must have blanked for a minute because when he came to, Granger was talking.
“Why are you here Malfoy?”
Draco didn’t immediately answer, instead he wondered why the golden girl was crying after the game, which Gryffindor won.
“What has you all teary faced?” He regretted the words that came out of his mouth as soon as they were said.
“Why do you care? I'm just a mud-”
“Don't.”
“Why? That's all I am to you, no?”
Draco couldn't think of a Good excuse.So he went with the truth, tonight has been a total failure. The cabinet is not working despite all the time and research that he has done, no spell has worked. So fuck it he wanted to tell the truth for once “Because you're more than just a mudblood.”
“Since when?” She asked with trepidation.
“Somewhere around 3rd or fourth, it could have been when you punched me but it could have also been how you looked at th- ,but that doesn't matter. You've stopped being mudblood in my eyes.”
Granger's eyes go wide. Her large, beautiful brown eyes, but he noticed that when the light reflected in a certain angle, they were the color of firewhiskey; amber and brown swirled together in harmony.
“Fourth, Yule Ball, you wearing your dress robes, dancing with parkinson, and had this pain and torture looked in your eyes. I wanted to comfort you? In that moment, I forgave you for everything, unknowingly, of course. The next time I saw that exact same look in your eyes was when you stepped off the train at the start of term. I knew then.” Granger looked startled that she had confessed such a thing, but Draco could see the sincerity in those gorgeous eyes.
“Knew what?”
It was eerie quiet, Draco could hear Hermione’s breathing. It sounded labored like she just ran the quidditch pitch and not just told her childhood bully that she forgave him for his past wrongdoings and maybe something more?
“What happened over break”
“Nothing happened”
“I know Malfoy, don’t lie” Granger’s tone was anything but accusing, it was but like she pitied him. “You're a death eater” she whispered the last part as if she was scared of anyone overhearing them.
This was not supposed to happen, he was supposed to keep it a secret he was the Dark Lord’s way inside the castle, he had to do something she wasn’t supposed to know nobody was supposed to know. His hands were trembling, the air was suddenly too thick everything was going dark there tears were welling up, this was not supposed to happen. There was another sound besides the thrum of his heart pounding.
“Malfoy, breathe” The voice sounded far away, it was gentle and nervous. “Breathe Malfoy, please” He knows that voice, the voice that has always argued in lessons with him and annoys him to no end is now comforting him while he breaks down for the second time that night.
“I-I ca-can’t” Breathing was getting harder, why was this happening to him? hadn't he suffered enough at his father's brutal hand? There was something touching his forearm. Why would anyone touch him knowing what he was.
“Draco, you have to breathe” Her tone sounded pleading like she actually wanted him to keep breathing. She was rubbing a circle on his wrist, she was the last person that should be trying to soothe him. His eyes hurt from shutting them so tightly to keep the tears at bay. “Look at me”
He slowly opened his eyes… he quickly blinked to brush the tears away. “ What are you doing?” she was supposed to hate him and everything he stood for…
“Don’t do that, look at me and breathe.” It was like he had no choice, his body was under her control.
“Why are you still here? Why haven’t you told Potter o-or the Order?” Granger looked as he told her to do the worst thing imaginable.
“What would I tell them, that this was not your choice, that you were forced to do this.” Her eyes were filled with nothing but admiration for him. “ It’s not your fault”
“You called me Draco” He noticed that his breathing finally went back to normal and his hand had stopped shaking at some point. More aware of his surroundings now he realized that the tips of Granger’s shoes were touching his.
“What?”