Archive of Our Own

The power had gone out during a thunderstorm, and Souji and Yosuke were sitting in Souji’s room, a single candle burning between their faces. It was the only light in the room, besides an occasional flash of brightness coming through the window as lightning touched down somewhere nearby. It was one of the worst storms Souji had seen in his time in Inaba.

“I didn’t know you were in the drama club,” Yosuke said. His voice was barely above a whisper, because Souji made him keep quiet after Nanako went to bed.

“It isn’t quite…my style,” Souji said.

“Heh, no kidding,” Yosuke said sarcastically. “I can’t imagine you fake crying.”

“That’s because I can’t. I wonder why they’ve kept me around so long.”

“Maybe they like you for your pretty face.” Yosuke laughed at Souji’s little frown. “Are there a lot of girls there?”

“There’s a girl named Yumi Ozawa there. Have you met her?” Yosuke shook his head. “We were supposed to have this stage kiss, but she stopped coming to practice.”

“Seriously? That’s awful luck,” Yosuke said.

“I wasn’t all that invested,” Souji said.

“I would’ve jumped at the chance,” Yosuke said.

“I know.” Souji tried to hide a smirk, but even in the low light, Yosuke saw it.

“Shut up.”

Light filled the room, and thunder rumbled the Dojima home.

“Do you think it’s going to flood?” Yosuke said.

Souji tensed up. Nanako.

“Nanako’s downstairs,” Souji said. “You’re right, it could flood.”

“Should we wake her up?” Yosuke asked.

“I don’t see how she’s sleeping through this anyways,” Souji said and stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

He picked the candle up off the table.

“Sorry, I’ll have to take this,” Souji said.

“Whatever,” Yosuke said and shrugged.

Nanako’s room was small, even more so when her futon was laid out. Souji almost tripped over her on his way in, accidentally waking her up.

“Huh? Big bro?” She wiped her eyes. Souji saw that she was holding a pink plush octopus and remembered back to when Naoto expertly positioned the three-pronged prize claw over it. Of course, he had given it to Nanako, who was visiting Okina City with them.

“Let’s go upstairs, okay?” Souji held out a hand to help her up. “I’m afraid it’s going to flood.”

“Mhm,” Nanako hummed, snuggling back into her futon.

Souji couldn’t help but smile as he put the candle down on her bookshelf and lifted her into his arms.

She’s too light, he thought. It had only been a few weeks since she had gotten back from the hospital.

He realized he really couldn’t pick the candle back up with Nanako in his arms, so he began a blind trek up the stairs. 

He tripped. Not enough to jostle Nanako out of his arms or send them into the floor, but enough to concern Souji. He hadn’t tripped in months , ever since he obtained his Persona. The TV World had trained balance into him out of necessity, he supposed. Nanako whimpered after Souji almost sent them rolling up the stairs, and Souji felt as if a fist had closed around his heart.

“Sorry, sorry,” he whispered.

Souji pushed his bedroom door open with his foot.

“I forgot the candle,” he whispered to Yosuke.

It was silent.

Souji shuffled through his room, careful to avoid his couch, his table, and Yosuke to place Nanako in his futon. Once she was tucked in with her plush, he turned back to where he assumed Yosuke was.

Lightning flashed, and Souji saw that Yosuke wasn’t near the table, as Souji had left him, but standing in front of his TV. Souji realized then that he could make out Yosuke’s face in the darkness, even when the lightning disappeared, because the TV was on.

“No…” Souji said, approaching Yosuke. “What was it?”

Yosuke turned to him, and with what Souji could see, he looked worried. It was that same look he had when Souji was hit hard by a powerful Shadow.

“ You. ” His voice was low.

Me?

“What?” Souji asked.

“It was your Shadow,” Yosuke said. “I promise. I’m not, like, making a joke here.”

“What did it say?”

“Nothing.”

“What?” Souji asked again.

“I swear, it didn’t say anything, it just…stared.” Yosuke shivered. “I felt like he was looking right at me.”

They were silent for a moment.

“We should tell the team,” Yosuke said.

“ No, ” Souji said. “Why can’t we just…leave it?”

“Huh?”

“I’m leaving soon, so I don’t really care if it spills my secrets to Inaba,” Souji said. “And it’s not like anyone’s going to throw me in.”

“That’s…” Yosuke looked confused. “Well, what if someone falls in? And your Shadow attacks them?”

Souji didn’t feel like reminding Yosuke that people never “fell in,” that they were pushed.

“It’ll be more trouble for Teddie,” Yosuke added.

“I can’t let them see it,” Souji said. “It’s bad enough that you know.”

Yosuke looked a little offended.

“We still don’t know how the TV World works,” Yosuke said. “What if…having a Shadow hurts you over time? What if you need to use your Persona again?”

As Yosuke said that, Souji noticed the hole in his soul where Izanagi used to be. He felt as if part of himself were gone.

“Aren’t we the Investigation Team?” Yosuke asked.

“Not…all of them,” Souji said. “I can’t do it with all of them there.”

“What could it possibly say that’s more embarrassing than—I don’t know—Kanji’s shadow?”

“I don’t know ,” Souji said. “That’s the problem. I don’t know.”

Yosuke was silent.

“But I know how it was for all of you,” Souji said. “And whatever it brings up…I don’t want to deal with it.”

It was quiet, besides the sounds of the storm, for a minute or two. The TV shut itself off.

“Partner?” Yosuke asked from the darkness. “Do you trust me?”

No.

“Yes,” Souji said. “Of course.”

“Then why can’t I see it?”

“The issue isn’t you, ” Souji said.

“You saw my shadow!” Yosuke said. Souji shh’ed him. “Sorry.”

It was quiet again.

“Fine,” Souji whispered.

“Really?”

“Let’s go tomorrow.”

After school the next day, Yosuke was extremely reluctant to go in without the others. The lack of Rise’s navigation seemed to bother him the most.

“What if we get lost?” Yosuke asked as they approached the electronics section of Junes. Yosuke grabbed Souji’s shoulder to stop him. “Seriously. We should at least tell Teddie.”

Souji wanted to brush Yosuke’s hand away when its warmth crept into his skin and his pulse quickened.

“Teddie can’t keep a secret,” Souji said.

Yosuke’s frown turned into a grimace. He took a step away from Souji and started walking towards the electronics section again.

In the TV World, they perused the twisted shopping district, trying to locate Souji’s Shadow Self. They considered turning back until Yosuke stopped for a moment in the Samegawa plains, with his eyes closed, listening.

“Do you hear that?” Yosuke asked.

“No,” Souji said.

“It sounds like a grandfather clock,” Yosuke said. “Let’s head that way.”

After a minute or so of walking, Souji started to pick up on the sound as well. As they approached, he noticed that the tolls of the clock were not random, but that they announced the time as twelve o’clock. The tick-tick-tick seemed to vibrate their bones as they approached.

A sleek, modern-looking mansion lay before them, with an ancient-looking grandfather clock taking up most of its foyer. Most of its exterior walls were made of glass, easily showing the state that the home was in. Bottles and soda cans covered the floor, gigantic piles of laundry concealed furniture, and some sort of paper blanketed the floor.

“Hah,” Yosuke said triumphantly. “Deep down, you’re just as dirty as me.”

“Is that my Shadow?” Souji said. “That I don’t like to clean?”

“It’ll be easy to accept it then,” Yosuke said. He was smiling. Souji found himself smiling as well.

Maybe this won’t be so bad.

As they entered, it became evident that the floor was covered in calendars. Some displayed real dates, but many of them never seemed to end, going far past thirty-one days. Spilt soda from the many cans littering the floor caused the ink to run together into Rorschach-like designs. Souji watched nervously as Yosuke picked up one with every date circled in a red heart.

“Maybe you have a Shadow because you refuse to date anyone,” Yosuke suggested. “You’re lonely.”

“I’m not,” Souji said, and they left it at that.

They encountered their first Shadow on the second floor.

“Stay back, okay?” Yosuke said. Souji nodded and distanced himself from Yosuke and the Shadow approaching him. It was a type they’d seen before, with its jester’s hat and gigantic hands. Souji realized belatedly that Yosuke couldn’t hit its fire weakness. He’d brought his sword, of course, and he considered charging into battle to assist Yosuke however he could. It was over in seconds, though, falling to just two elemental attacks from Jiraiya and Yosuke. They trekked on. 

Two more Shadows were easily defeated by Yosuke on the third floor, and another on the fourth. They were nearing a staircase when a Shadow shaped like a lion charged at them. They both jumped out of the way, in opposite directions, and Yosuke fired a gust of wind into the Shadow to focus its attention on him instead of Souji. 

Souji was left reeling, trying to find his balance. Up seemed down, and down seemed up. He was sweating like crazy.

When he finally righted himself, Souji saw Yosuke mid-attack. He was keeping his distance by opting for magical attacks. Yosuke seemed to be having trouble catching his breath. The Shadow’s claw swung at him, and Yosuke didn’t have the time to dodge. He was flung back a few feet, but he didn’t get up immediately.

Souji felt panic rise up in his throat. The Shadow was preparing to pounce onto Yosuke’s dazed form and rip him to shreds. Before Souji knew it, he was running and blindly slashing at it. All coordination left him, and he started whacking the giant lion as if he was holding a club instead of a sword. It didn’t take long for the Shadow to roar and kick at Souji, sending him tumbling again.

He almost lost consciousness, unable to move any of his limbs. He determined weakly that he was on his back and that his sword had flown out of his grasp. When he lifted his head, he immediately felt like he was going to throw up.

Yosuke.

Though it was blurry, Souji managed to lift his head just enough to see Yosuke land a killing blow on the Shadow.

Yosuke was at his side almost immediately after.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Partner, it barely hit you…”

A ‘thank you’ would be nice.

“Dizzy,” he managed to choke out. Yosuke pressed his hand to Souji’s chest and commanded Jiraiya to heal him. Souji felt the warmth of a Diarama spread outward from where his Partner was touching him. It always reminded him of stepping into a hot bath. He could finally lift his head without nausea, and he suspected he had a concussion before Yosuke fixed it.

Once Souji was sitting up, still breathing hard, Yosuke spoke up.

“Seriously,” he said. “You’re scaring me.”

“Maybe it’s because I don’t have a Persona,” Souji said. “Weaker.”

“Let’s get this over with then,” Yosuke said. “Can you stand?”

“Yeah,” Souji said. He took the hand Yosuke offered him, but he was still uncoordinated and dizzy, tipping and falling into Yosuke’s arms.

“Woah!” Yosuke said. Souji’s head was on one shoulder, and his quaking hand was gripping his other. He found that he couldn’t move again. Yosuke turned his head to Souji’s, keeping his voice down and essentially whispering right into his ear: “Don’t worry. I’ve gotcha.”

Souji felt that same warmth envelop his body. He lifted his head from Yosuke’s shoulder and realized that Yosuke was gripping his uniform under the arms, holding him up. After another moment, he realized that his feet weren’t even flat on the ground. He might’ve gotten another concussion if Yosuke hadn’t caught him.

He separated himself from his Partner quickly, with a light shove that made Yosuke frown. He didn’t say anything about it, though, and they continued to the final floor.

The stairs led them to a rooftop balcony. When Souji peeked over the edge, he couldn’t see the ground. The building was surrounded by dark clouds, occasionally rippling with electricity. A few yards away, there was a figure sitting at an enormous executive desk. It sat in a black leather chair that reached towards the sky and made it look miniscule in comparison.

As they approached, it was easy to recognize the gray bowl cut, but nothing else about the figure suggested it was Souji’s Shadow. It wore a loose red sweater, with knitting that resembled hearts running up and down its sleeves. It leaned over the desk, carefully working on something that Souji couldn’t see. It didn’t notice—or maybe didn’t care—that they were approaching.

Finally, they could make out the contents of the desk, standing mere feet from the Shadow who hadn’t looked up once.

Its scrapbooking?

The table was covered in patterned paper and photos. Buttons and movie tickets were strewn haphazardly onto the floor. The Shadow was carefully removing a sticker from a sheet to plaster onto a gigantic tome that laid in the middle of the mess.

Souji felt dizzy as a photo was blown off the table by a gust of wind, landing directly at his and Yosuke’s feet. The photos were from his point of view, printed memories previously captured only in his mind’s eye. The one that had flown to their feet featured Yosuke riding his bike towards the viewer, waving and smiling. It would’ve been a nice photo in any other situation.

The table didn’t just include Yosuke, however. All of his friends, even those outside of the Investigation Team, were laid across the table in a mirage of memories. 

One featured Daisuke and Kou in the gym cheering after Souji landed a three-pointer; another, Chie’s face when he gifted her a Trial of The Dragon t-shirt; Ai asking him whether he preferred this perfume or that perfume, with her wrist held under his nose; Rise standing back and admiring her fine work, that being a full face of makeup for him; Nanako in the garden; Yosuke in the Samegawa Plains; Naoto trying to hide his smirk after Kanji made a joke; Yosuke at the shoe lockers.

The Shadow started gluing down one of Yosuke in his bedroom, with a single candle lighting his face. It surrounded the image with glitter. As much as he wanted to, Souji couldn't will himself to turn and look at whatever emotion was on Yosuke’s face.

Yosuke spoke up, with: “Huh?”

The Shadow finally looked up, and its golden eyes locked onto Yosuke.

“Yosuke!” it said. “Do you have free time later?” Its tone was cheerier than Souji’s had ever been, but the distorted, booming voice that came out of its mouth chilled the air.

“What?”

“Let’s hang out,” it said.

Finally, Souji tore his eyes away from it and looked to Yosuke. He was tensed up, subconsciously leaning back as the Shadow nearly climbed over the desk to stare unblinkingly into his eyes. 

“Sure,” Yosuke said slowly. The Shadow stood up, and it was bashful. It wrung its hands together, twisting its fingers into nervous knots, and it actually broke eye contact with Yosuke just to stare at the ground. Souji could see then that it was wearing a pair of loose sweatpants that pooled around its feet. It looked up again, smiling, and then started to round the desk.

Yosuke unsheathed his kunai, and the Shadow looked offended. It took a step back and stuck its bottom lip out like a child.

“Just stay back there,” Yosuke said.

It started to cry, wiping dripping tears and snot with the sleeves of his sweater. It looked up, and when it saw no reaction from the two, it fell to its knees, sobbing. It beat its fists against the ground, wailing wordlessly. 

“I just want you all to like me!” it screeched. “You hate me! Why?!”

Yosuke’s mouth was hanging open, watching the display.

“What can I do?” it asked.

“What?” Yosuke asked.

“What can I do to make it better?” it said, still choking on its own sobs. “I want to make it better. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry !”

“It’s, um, okay,” Yosuke said. “I’m not…mad.”

“Please don’t leave me!” It reached out again, crawling towards Yosuke. Souji watched in horror as he put his kunai back into his pockets.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I told you, I’m not mad. I’m not leaving.”

The Shadow sighed dreamily, staring up at Yosuke with a tiny smile. Finally, it pulled itself to its feet, rising from the chest like a marionette. Souji blinked, and suddenly it was standing inches from Yosuke, staring again. Yosuke jumped back, startled. No-one said anything, until Yosuke finally broke the silence.

“What’cha got there?” he asked nervously, pointing to the scrapbook on the desk.

“A memento,” it said. “I thought I’d be nice to make before…”

“Before what?” Yosuke said.

Shadow Souji looked towards the storm clouds blanketing the perimeter of the rooftop.

“I won’t be around for much longer,” it said.

Yosuke jumped.

“ What?! ” he asked.

“I’ll be away from everyone,” it said, still not looking at either of them. “I don’t think I can stand it.”

Souji felt sick.

“I think I’d rather die,” it said.

“Partner, no ,” Yosuke said. His voice cracked, and Souji thought he was about to cry. Souji wanted to reassure him, to deny it all and set the record straight. He didn’t say things like that. He didn’t even think things like that.

“There really is one thing I should tell you before I go,” Shadow Souji said.

“What is it?”

“I have feelings for you, Yosuke.”

The dizziness that overtook Souji was more powerful than the concussion had been. He was swaying on his feet, unable to look at anything but the ground and his trembling hands. Souji still wasn’t looking up when Yosuke asked, “What?”

“Ever since I met you,” the Shadow said. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited to tell you.”

“Shut up !” Souji yelled. It was the first time he had spoken since the previous floor, and his voice came out much more shrill than he would’ve preferred.

“No!” the Shadow yelled back. “I want to scream it from the rooftops! I love Yosuke Hanamura!”

Souji finally glanced at Yosuke. He looked in fear at both Soujis, eyes bouncing between them. So, naturally, Souji panicked.

“It’s lying!” Souji screamed as loudly as he could. “I’m not—Yosuke, that’s not… me. ”

If Yosuke was scared before, he was terrified now. The army of clouds all thundered together, skittering lightning across the rooftop. They almost couldn’t hear the Shadow’s laughter over the booms.

“Is that right?” it asked. With every word, its voice got louder and more distorted. “Well, in that case…”

I’ve killed us, Souji thought. I’ve fucking killed us both.

Souji wobbled on his feet, falling to his knees as unconsciousness dragged him down. He knew that people usually fainted after their Shadow transformed, but he fought it as best he could. He couldn’t leave Yosuke. 

A giant stood before them, over twenty feet tall. It wore a mask identical to Izanagi’s besides a single eyehole where a yellow pupil scanned the battlefield. Its coat was like Izanagi’s as well, except that it was buckled from front to bottom. A sword twice as tall as Yosuke was at his side, posed for attack. It didn’t have legs, just six extra arms emerging from below the coat. Thirty fingers skittered across the floor like a spider.

Yosuke looked over to Souji for a moment.

“Run,” he said. “Think of Nanako.” Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!

“No,” Souji replied, grabbing his head as a roaring migraine came on. He couldn’t run if he wanted to, anyways. When he lifted his head again, Yosuke was on the attack, pushing Shadow Souji back with wind. 

He seemed to skate across the rooftop, dodging strikes of electricity with split-second escapes. The Shadow was relentless. One bolt’s proximity singed the ends of his bangs and left a small burn on the tip of his nose. Finally, the strikes let up enough that Yosuke could hit it with a Garudyne, knocking it onto its back. He used the opportunity to cast Masukukaja. As Jiraiya’s power flowed over him, he seemed to loosen up, popping his knuckles and stretching. The next lightning strike didn’t come close to him, and he found a few more openings to throw wind spells towards Shadow Souji. It dodged some of them, surprisingly agile for its size.

The Shadow roared, and then spoke in a deep voice that no longer resembled Souji’s.

“Want to know how I feel, Partner?” the voice asked angrily. Yosuke didn’t have time to respond before ear-shattering thunder shook the building. Souji could hear the glass walls breaking below them. Souji covered his ears, but it didn’t help all that much. Yosuke was knocked onto his ass from the rumbling of the mansion. Blessedly, it was over as quickly as it began.

Something wasn’t right with Yosuke. Instead of picking himself up, he stayed down, staring up at the Shadow in shock. He didn’t move, frozen in place, even as it prepared to attack him again.

Shadows had poisoned them, driven them into rage, and exhausted them before. This fear effect wasn’t new either, but Yukiko wasn’t around to dispel it with a Me Patra. Souji pawed at his pockets and found the tiny pill box he kept there of Shiroku’s medicine. He thankfully had a sedative. His head was still pounding, but he lunged into a sprint towards Yosuke.

Yosuke whipped his head around to the real Souji approaching him and jumped.

“Stay away! Get the hell away from me!” he screamed, scrambling away from Souji. Yosuke couldn’t seem to push himself away fast enough though, and when Souji was within a few feet, he gave up and curled up into a ball. His arms protected his head, and he was sobbing.

“It’s me!” Souji said, forcing one of his arms to the side. Yosuke screamed, and Souji took the opportunity to shove the sedative in his mouth. It dissolved instantly on his tongue, and his eyes snapped open, alert. He barely looked at Souji before he screamed, “Jiraiya!”

Jiraiya’s form shielded them from an oncoming electric attack. It spasmed, absorbing the shock, and Yosuke mirrored it, grunting in pain. Souji hadn’t been hit, but Yosuke was having trouble picking himself up, and Jiraiya had disappeared back into his mind.

The giant katana was coming down, but Souji readied his own. The metal collided, and Souji was sure his sword would shatter like glass. He almost barked out a laugh when the gargantuan slab of metal was brought to a halt by his toothpick. 

That wasn’t to say it was particularly easy to strain back against the Shadow’s blade. It was a losing battle, with Souji being pushed back inch by inch.

Souji heard Yosuke heal himself from the ground, and then he was up on his feet, blasting the Shadow and its blade back.

Yosuke called his Persona again, and a gust of wind that wasn’t quite gentle picked Souji up and deposited him again away from the battlefield. The Shadow was still knocked down, and Yosuke leaped, boosted into the air by Jiraiya, and shoved a kunai through the yellow pupil shrouded by Izanagi’s mask. The form dissolved into a black puddle, and it was over.

The headache subsided, and Souji’s Shadow in the knitted sweater stood before them again, silently waiting.

“I accept you!” Souji said. “All of it! It’s all true!” Now leave us alone!

The Shadow didn’t disappear, unsatisfied with Souji’s answer.

“I…don’t want to be alone. More than anything,” he continued slowly. “And I…” He gulped. “I like Yosuke…in that way.”

The Shadow smiled.

“You’re me,” Souji said.

The Shadow floated upwards, mutating into his Persona. A glow surrounded Souji as he felt Izanagi return to him. Where his soul felt hollow before, there was now a burning coal in his chest, warming his body. The feeling was stronger than his first time meeting Izanagi, with his Persona finally fully burrowing itself into the recesses of Souji’s mind. He collapsed to his knees at the weight of it all.

“Souji-senpai!” a voice in his head called. “We’re coming!” Rise.

Yosuke was at his side, offering a hand to pick him up. They were both silent as they heard six pairs of footsteps thundering up the stairs.

Souji didn’t think about how ridiculous the group looked until that moment. They really were an odd combination of people, not at all what you’d expect a murder investigation team to be comprised of. Well, besides the literal detective.

Rise was at the front of the pack with tears in her eyes, slamming into Souji and wrapping her arms around him.

“You’re an idiot!” she said, head buried into Souji’s chest. He could feel her tears soak into his shirt.

“Sensei!” Teddie called. “I was so beary worried!”

“What were you thinking ?” Naoto said.

“Seriously, what the hell?” Kanji said.

“I—well, we…” Yosuke said, trying to explain. The group turned towards him, glaring.

“How’d you find us?” Souji asked.

“I felt you,” Rise said, lifting her head off his chest. “I felt you and Yosuke-senpai in pain . ” She pounded a fist into Souji’s chest, choking on her next words. “There was a point where… I—I couldn’t hear you anymore, and I thought I’d lost you, and—and…” She put her head back down and attempted to take deep breaths.

“You really scared her,” Chie said. “All of us, actually.”

“It was my fault,” Souji said. “I didn’t want to bring everyone.”

“Why?” Yukiko asked as Kanji muttered, “Playin’ favorites now?”

“I didn’t want to face it,” Souji said.

“None of us did either!” Chie yelled.

“And I didn’t want you all to see me like that,” Souji continued.

“You never judged us,” Naoto said.

“We wouldn’t have cared!” Chie said.

“What the hell?!” Kanji asked again.

A lull fell over the group for a moment.

“What…was it?” Yukiko asked.

Yosuke looked over to Souji sympathetically.

“C’mon, guys, he’s been through enough,” Yosuke said. 

“No,” Souji said. “I should—No, I need to tell everyone. This can’t happen again.”

Everyone’s anger was dulled by curiosity. Souji knew he was an enigma to them. Hell, they probably would’ve been excited to see his Shadow, just to know him in the same way that he knew them.

He explained the sickly-sweet Shadow, pointing to the scrapbook that still sat on the table to illustrate. His friends gathered around it almost as if they were looking at cute baby pictures, passing them around and trying to recall exactly when they were ‘taken.’ Naoto blushed a deep red when he spotted the photo he shared with Kanji. Yukiko found a photo buried in the pile that featured herself and Rise eating Topcicles. Teddie pulled out one of himself and Yosuke working together at Junes.

“I didn’t want to be alone,” Souji said finally. “And, I, um…” I can’t mortify Yosuke like that. “I like men.”

Chie’s eyebrows shot up, and Yukiko gasped. Rise, now away from his chest, sighed and gave him a sad, tiny smile. Ouch. Neither Kanji nor Naoto looked particularly surprised, however. I was quickest to accept them, after all. Maybe they could feel it.

Yosuke’s face was hard to read.

“Sensei, I respect your bear -very,” Teddie said. Bravery? Yosuke elbowed him.

“I, um, want to get to know you all better,” Souji said. “I didn’t plan on making friends, since I wasn’t going to be here for long. And, now I have, and I’m…scared.”

Rise teared up again, now burying her head into Naoto’s shoulder, who patted her back awkwardly.

“It won’t be forever,” Yukiko said. 

“You ain’t gettin’ rid of us that easily!” Kanji said.

“We’ll call you every day!” Rise said.

“But after we graduate…” Souji started.

“We’ve fought Shadows together; we’ve seen the worst parts of each other. I mean, we caught a murderer,” Yosuke said. “Nothing can break us up.”

Souji felt tears well up in his eyes, and he turned his head to the side, trying to hide how he attempted to blink them away. When he looked back, the entire team was watching him pitifully. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Chie suggested. 

“I’m beat!” Teddie said.

“You didn’t do anything,” Yosuke said. After a moment, his annoyed expression softened, and he muttered, “It’s good to see you.” Teddie gasped dramatically.

“Can we…have some of these?” Yukiko asked, holding up one of the photos. It was the one with Chie’s overjoyed expression after receiving Souji’s gift. Souji felt his face heat up. On one hand, they felt incredibly private. On the other hand, his heart was warmed looking at Yukiko’s shy expression. It meant a lot to her.

“Sure,” he said. The team gathered around the table again. They were kind enough to only take one each, slipping them into their shirt pockets next to their hearts. He saw Yosuke take one that he hadn’t noticed before. It showed the water’s reflection of both of them looking down into the river, shoulder to shoulder. They were smiling.

Souji had forgotten how much gaining his Persona exhausted him until he took a step and wobbled. Kanji was at his side immediately, throwing Souji’s arm over his shoulder.

“Let’s get you home,” he said with a smile.

They were all very lucky that Dojima was working late. They piled into the Dojima household in the late afternoon and opened the blinds so that the warm golden tones of the sunset would filter into the living room.

Nanako was overjoyed, not even pausing to ask the reason why they were all coming over. Instead, she greeted them all happily and fluttered around them.

“Naoto-oniichan, Kanji-oniichan, I wanna show you something!” she said as the group took their shoes off. She hurried to her room, unaware that the entire Investigation Team was following her curiously.

She pointed to her bookshelf. On one shelf, two plush dolls sat next to each other. One was the octopus Naoto had won for her, and the other was a stuffed bunny Kanji had made for her. One of the octopus’s legs was wrapped around the bunny’s arm.

“They’re friends!” Nanako said. Rise and Chie cooed and awww’ed.

“That’s so frickin’ cute,” Kanji said under his breath.

“I love it, Nanako-chan,” Naoto smiled. 

When Kanji and Naoto turned back to the group, they were both smiling, but their faces were bright red, and they refused to look at each other. No-one mentioned it.

Souji was suddenly relieved when he realized that, even when he left, Nanako wouldn’t be alone.

After settling in with sodas, they drew straws to determine who would have to go to buy takeout from Aiya. Yosuke, with his awful luck, drew the short straw.

“I’ll go with you, Yosuke-senpai,” Rise said. “I want to stretch my legs anyways.”

“Why don’t we just have it delivered?” Yosuke asked. Rise whispered something into his ear. He replied by shrugging, but he left with her anyway.

The group was silent.

“What was that about?” Chie said.

“Are they scor —” Teddie asked. Rise slapped a hand over his mouth and gestured towards Nanako.

“I highly doubt that,” Naoto said.

“Maybe Rise wants Yosuke to become an idol,” Nanako suggested.

Naoto looked like he was going to speak up again to brush away her theory, but he smiled.

“You could be right,” he said.

Yosuke and Rise returned half-an-hour later, carrying plastic takeout bags. The group was spread across the kitchen and living room, dividing themselves up into several different conversations.

Souji, Nanako, and Rise were on the couch. Nanako was ecstatic. She would look up to Rise, still a bit starstruck from her idol status, and then to Souji, her hero. No wonder she was  quivering with excitement.

“You look so cool on stage,” Nanako said. “But I wish you could stay in Inaba forever.”

“Don’t worry,” Rise said. “Even if I did go back, I would dedicate a song to you.”

Nanako’s eyes lit up.

“ Really ?” she said.

“Of course,” Rise said with a smile. “After all, we’re besties, right?” Nanako almost dropped her noodle bowl.

A few hours of pleasant conversation and quiz shows later, Nanako yawned, prompting Souji to look at the time. Usually, she would’ve already had her bath and been in bed at this time of night. The rest of the team got the message, standing up and stretching or retrieving their bags.

“We should get going,” Chie said. “Sorry, Nanako-chan.”

“It’s okay!” Nanako said. “I had fun.”

“Go get ready for bed, okay?” Souji said to her.

“Okay. Goodnight.” All of the Investigation Team responded, telling her to sleep well. She waved to them as she disappeared into the hallway of the Dojima house.

While everyone left, Yosuke lingered in the kitchen. Souji didn’t notice that he hadn’t gone until he closed the door behind the rest of the team.

“Can we talk?” Yosuke asked.

“Uh, sure,” Souji said, suddenly extremely self conscious. He kept his eyes low.

“I’m…” Yosuke said slowly, “…mad at you.” Souji thought his heart would stop, that he would fall to the floor dead in Dojima’s kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” Souji said.

“You almost got us killed,” Yosuke said. “It was a miracle we didn’t die before the team arrived. What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t want you to hate me,” Souji whispered.

“Huh?”

“I didn’t want you to hate me,” he repeated. “And…I know you do now, and I’m sorry.”

“I don’t hate you,” Yosuke said. “I couldn’t…ever hate you, I think.”

It was silent for a moment, and Souji had to make an effort to control his breathing, trying to hide the way his windpipe was tightening up.

“I’m mad because you denied it,” Yosuke said. “Not because of…the other thing.”

Souji finally lifted his eyes, snapping his head up.

“Really?” he asked incredulously.

Yosuke scratched the back of his neck. “Really.”

“So, we’re still…friends, right?” Souji asked.

“Of course,” Yosuke said adamantly. “Souji, I’m trying to tell you that it doesn’t bother me.” Souji was surprised to hear Yosuke use his name. It sounded special in his mouth.

“That’s good, because—well, I was really, really nervous, and, I mean, I really thought…” Souji stammered for the first time in his life. “Because you’re my best friend, and I thought—you looked like you hated me.”

“I don’t,” Yosuke said.

“And, and—I mean, I can forget about my feelings,” Souji said. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t make the same mistake twice, but I promise, I’ll never mention it again. You don’t—It’s okay if you don’t want to acknowledge it.”

“That’s not a problem either.” Yosuke huffed. He was looking away, rocking himself back and forth on his feet nervously.

“That’s nice of you to say,” Souji said, finally composing himself. “But it’s really okay.”

The room was quiet. Souji could hear the refrigerator buzzing next to him. Rain had started outside, pattering against the glass sliding doors in the living room.

“What would you say…if I told you that I, uh, return…those feelings?” Yosuke said, still looking away.

Souji almost said, ‘I wouldn’t believe you.’ He was in shock. What? What the hell?

“You…do?” Souji asked.

“I, uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.” Yosuke finally looked at Souji again, and his entire face was flushed red. He looked nervous. What does he have to be worried about? He already knows how I feel.

“That’s, um…awesome,” Souji said, staring at Yosuke like a deer in the headlights. Yosuke’s expression wasn’t so different.

“Awesome?”

“Yeah, I’m not good with words,” Souji said lightheartedly. Immediately, some of the tension flew out the window, and breathing became easier.

“Your Shadow was.” Yosuke grinned. “‘I love Yosuke Hanamura,’ huh?”

Just when Souji thought his face couldn’t get any redder, it did, and Yosuke laughed almost immediately. Souji found himself smiling.

“What does this mean for us?” Souji said. “Because…I know how it is, and if you would rather, just, not…”

“No, I… I want to date you, Partner,” Yosuke said. “I feel like I’ve made that pretty obvious.”

They stared at each other for a second before getting embarrassed and focusing back on their shoes.

Yosuke took a step closer. Is he going to kiss me?

“Can I stay over tonight?” Yosuke asked. Souji was startled.

“That’s a little fast…” he said.

“No! Not like that!” Yosuke’s voice cracked. “I’ll sleep down here if you want. I’m just…worried. About you.”

“Oh, um. Yeah, that’d be okay.” Souji was almost flattered.

They walked to the bathroom together. Souji smiled at the four toothbrushes on the counter. Yosuke’s stood out, made of a transparent orange plastic with glitter inside. He slept over frequently enough that Souji had bought him a toothbrush to keep at the Dojima’s. 

They stood side-by-side in the mirror, brushing their teeth and washing their faces. Souji caught Yosuke staring at him multiple times, but he knew he was doing his fair share as well.

Neither was tired, so they went to Souji’s room to play videogames. Yosuke pulled his favorite off of Souji’s shelf, a horror game about a mansion full of zombies. It wasn’t a multiplayer game, but they usually passed the controller off when one of them died. Yosuke was on a good streak though, solving puzzles and narrowly avoiding the zombies lunging at him. His character died a few minutes later to a mutated snake. He went to hand the controller to Souji, but he didn’t take it.

“You can keep playing,” he said. “I’m too tired.”

“Do you want to go to bed?” Yosuke asked.

Souji was silent for a moment.

“It just feels too good to be true,” Souji said quietly. He heard Yosuke turn the console off. “I’m afraid I’ll wake up in the morning and find out it was a dream.”

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” Yosuke said. “And I’ll remind you.”

Some part of him, maybe what was left of his Shadow, wanted to whimper out, ‘Promise?’

“I’ll take the couch,” Souji said.

“No way,” Yosuke said. “You faced your Shadow today. You have to be exhausted.”

“I am,” Souji said. “But you’re the one who fought my Shadow today, and I think you should take the futon.”

“I’m staying right here until you get in bed.” Yosuke crossed his arms and sank back into the couch, digging his heels in.

“Partner,” Souji said. Yosuke’s eyebrows shot up, but his stance was firm.

“Nuh-uh,” Yosuke said.

“As the leader—”

“Nope, can’t do that,” Yosuke shook his head.

“Fine,” Souji said. He stood up and unfolded his futon. He fluffed his pillow, then dropped it onto the bedding.

“Last chance,” Souji said.

“I’m good here,” Yosuke said. “I’m turning off the lights.”

Souji lay on his bed, listening to the rain.

“Do you need a blanket?” he asked into the darkness.

“No,” Yosuke said. “It’s been warm today anyways.”

Souji woke up sometime in the very early morning and went to get a glass of water. As soon as he emerged from the comforter, he realized the room was much colder than it had been when he’d finally dozed off. He saw that the culprit was his ajar window, leaking cold air into the bedroom.

He closed it, tossed his comforter over Yosuke, and went back to bed. He honestly didn’t mind the cold all that much, but Yosuke tended to be very sensitive to it. He shivered walking through the produce aisle of Junes.

When he woke up again, sunrise was approaching, giving the room barely enough light to see. He immediately noticed the comforter was back over him.

He usually got up as early as 5AM, long before the sun was up. He wanted to go back to sleep, considering how tired he was yesterday and how late he and Yosuke stayed up. Unfortunately, he was wide awake. He knew it would bite him in the ass that afternoon once his exhaustion caught up to him, but he got out of bed.

On his way downstairs, he covered Yosuke again.

He usually made omelets when Yosuke stayed over, but there was nothing in the fridge he could fill them with. Do I have time for a Junes run? he wondered. He settled on frying eggs, hoping that Yosuke would be up soon so that they wouldn’t get cold.

He was transferring the eggs onto a plate when he heard someone approaching him.

“Hey,” he said, glancing over. It was Yosuke. “How much salt?”

“Just a pinch,” he said, stepping closer. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” Souji said.

“Can I kiss you?”

Souji almost dropped the salt shaker. His hand was quivering when he placed it back onto the counter.

“It’s okay if n—”

“Yes!” Souji said. He was shocked by how loud his voice was, and he inwardly cringed, hoping he didn’t wake Nanako.

That train of thought was interrupted when he felt Yosuke’s mouth on his. It was a firm kiss, with Yosuke pulling him closer by the neck. Just a day ago, he’d been denying this attraction so vehemently that some sort of demon spawned from him. Even in his own mind, he made every effort to halt the scenes playing in his head of Yosuke kissing him next to the river or under the fireworks. It was too painful back then.

Now, Izanagi was thrumming under his skin, saying, “I love Yosuke Hanamura.”

Souji’s hands landed on Yosuke’s shoulders as they traded kisses, only breaking apart when Yosuke’s stomach grumbled.