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Essek was frustrated.

He’d decided, even before Caleb had shown up on his doorstep asking for Essek to accompany him into the ruins of Aeor, that if he had the chance, the moment to be alone with him, he would tell Caleb how he felt about him. That was before they’d dived headfirst into a frozen, hellscape designed to murder spellcasters such as themselves and he’d both literally and figuratively gotten cold feet. As they’d spent more time together, he’d become hesitant to ruin the comfortable companionship they’d found with one another. He’d already ruined Caleb’s trust in him once before, he had no intentions of losing it again. And it was fun spending time with Caleb in Aeor. It was fun delving into arcane secrets that hadn’t seen the light of day in a century and working through them together. It was fun watching this brilliant man pour over every scrap of information they found and tie them all together to make sense. He’d never had so much fun with another person before, not even his own brother. And even though he would never admit it to another soul, it didn’t hurt that Caleb was easy on the eyes. More than once he’d had to draw his gaze away from Caleb in a hurry before he noticed Essek staring. And if at night when he laid there alone his thoughts were drawn to the man in the next bedroom, well, that was his to keep as well. The deeper into Aeor they travelled, the more he realised how horribly in love he was with Caleb Widowgast.

Then he’d found that fucking book.

It was one of the many books they’d managed to salvage from the Aeorian library, and at first he hadn’t been quite sure as to why that book had drawn him in so much. Not at least until Caleb had begun to question him about it, and he realised that his pirate captain shared more than a few traits, both physical and otherwise, with his dear travelling companion. Not that he would ever tell Caleb that. And he didn’t, instead, alluding that the man reminded him of Fjord instead. He’d thought nothing more of it until they’d parted for bed that evening and Caleb had touched him, briefly, almost in passing, on the arm and wished him a goodnight. The touch hadn’t been anything special but threw him off enough that he could only watch Caleb’s retreating back. Then Caleb had the nerve to smile and wave at him before slipping into his room. The weeks that followed were some of the most trying that Essek had ever experienced. He realised, almost immediately, that Caleb was trying to gauge what he could get away with in regards to touching him. The idea both delighted and terrified him. Caleb was a scholar like himself and took his work very seriously and Essek had no doubts that Caleb would research this endeavour to its natural conclusion. The flirting was also very welcome.

But then he’d hesitated on cheek kisses. And Essek had grown impatient. 

“I swear Caleb Widowgast if you do not kiss me properly tonight I will be very cross with you.” 

And oh Caleb had. Kissed him dizzy until they’d had to part for breath and were left breathing in each other’s air as they’d held tight to one another to avoid falling over. Caleb had been the first to draw back and huffed a nervous laugh. Essek had smiled, curling a hand around the back of Caleb’s head to press their foreheads together, basking in the warmth of Caleb’s arms around him, slotting them together like puzzle pieces. They stood there for a moment longer, collecting their breath, before Caleb let him go and took a step back to put space between them once more. 

“Goodnight Schatz .” Caleb had graced him with a softer, chaste kiss before he’d vanished into his room, leaving Essek to stand there like the lovesick fool he was. 

He thought that had been it. That it would be enough. He’d shared his spellbook with Caleb, given him a name in his mother tongue and kissed him. He should be content. He should be happy. But he wasn’t. It had barely been a week and every kiss, every touch left him wanting more. He wanted to devour everything that Caleb was. To crack him open and bask in the warmth he knew he would find within. He just didn’t know how to ask. How to ask Caleb to smother him, envelop him, take him apart by the very seams and mould him back together and leave him satisfied. God, it had been too long since he’d had sex. And even then, none of them had been people that he’d loved like he loved Caleb. He bit absently at his fingernails as he sat on the edge of his trancing mat, in the lovely room that Caleb had crafted for him. The last few people he’d slept with had approached him and with how Caleb had approached with a simple thing as touch or a kiss, he wasn’t sure he had the patience for Caleb to approach him about sex. Words were his forte, he could weave it into his conversations he supposed but then he thought back to their conversations over the book. Caleb hadn’t seemed to clue into his attempts to hint that he was ready for a more drastic approach then, why would it be any different now? And saying it outright was beyond him, the embarrassment would actually kill him. He needed advice, from someone, anyone who could help him figure out how to approach Caleb with what he wanted.

He considered for a brief moment contacting his brother. He would have the advice that Essek wanted, but it also meant that Verin would know about Caleb and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell his brother about not only being a traitor but also involved intimately with an empire wizard. His thoughts turned to the Nein. Jester would definitely have ideas for him, but telling her no doubt would result in the rest of the Nein finding out about them before he’d even had a chance to properly romance Caleb. He doubted Fjord or Caduceus would have any answers for him either. Veth was a solid choice but it also meant that he had to go through another one of her shovel talks and the last one had nearly killed him. Literally, she’d shot at him with a crossbow. He thumbed absently at the scar on his shoulder. Beau was a good option but he knew she was in contact with Caleb regularly and he didn’t want him to find out that he was asking these things of her. Not to mention she would probably baulk at the idea of the two of them becoming intimate like that. That left Yasha. The soft-hearted barbarian would definitely help him and he could trust her to not spread the word further than Beau, who he trusted to know about them already anyway. He drew out his piece of copper wire and stretched it into the familiar thin purple line in front of his face before he spoke.

“Hello Yasha, I’m sorry to disturb you but I was hoping you could help me.” He paused, chewing the inside of his lip. “I don’t know how to, approach Caleb about becoming…intimate.”

“ Oh. Hello. Essek. ” Yasha’s voice was slow and deliberate and it took him a moment to realise she was probably counting her words. “ That’s. Okay.” Another pause. “I’m. Not. Sure. How. To. Help. Uh. Have. You. Tried. Telling. Him. That. You. Like. Him? Or! Show. Some. Skin. ”

Essek smiled to himself, snorted a laugh and drew another line in front of his face with the copper wire.

“I suppose I can try that. The telling him how I feel about him part, of course. You know I’m not a fan of nudity.”

There was a moment's pause before Yasha replied again.

“ Caleb. Will. Understand. And. If. Not. There. Is. A. Hot. Tub. ” That drew another laugh from him. “ Caleb. Cares. About. You. Essek. Show. Him. You. Do. Too. Or. Just. Show. Skin. ”

Essek laid back onto the bed, resting the wire atop his chest beneath the hands he pressed to it. He supposed it was a way forward and maybe it would end up where he wanted it to. Or maybe it would blow up in his face. There was only one way to find out. He deposited his copper wire back into his dimensional wristpocket and settled further back onto the bed. He drew towards him the book he’d been reading from the pile on the table; Change and the Potentials of Transmutability . It was never a bad time to go back to the basics. 

They spent the next few days clearing out one of the laboratories they’d found. A lot of the notes had, unfortunately, been destroyed or faded to time leaving them unreadable. Still, there was more than enough old equipment for them to take back to the tower and add to their catalogue of artifacts. They had amassed quite the collection, not to mention the pages of accompanying notes as they puzzled through various uses for the arcane devices. Occasionally he would look up and find Caleb already watching him with a fond look before going back to his writings. Each time it sent a thrill jolting through him and he wondered what Caleb was thinking about in those moments before Essek caught him looking. Was he thinking about kissing him? Perhaps he was thinking of something else? Essek found he had a fantasy that formed, that perhaps Caleb may just sweep aside all their research one day and have him right there on the table. Take him apart and figure out what makes him tick, what makes him moan, press him down into the wood of the table and make him scream. He feels the tips of his ears burn and he shoves the thought aside, burying himself deeper into the pages of his notebook. He glances across the table to Caleb who blissfully hasn’t noticed and is still examining one of the items they had found in the lab that day. Essek finds himself distracted by Caleb’s hands, delicate, long fingers  carefully moving the inert device this way and that as he made a crude sketch in his notebook. 

Essek thought back to his chat with Yasha and the fact her advice had boiled down to two choices for furthering their interactions; talk about his feelings properly, or get naked. And something about the hot tub. None of these were options he would normally choose, so he decided to improvise. He was good at adapting. He rested down his notebook and pushed his chair back half an inch, causing the familiar screech of wood on wood and enough noise to draw Caleb’s attention. Essek kept his eyes on the page in front of him as he reached up to his high collar and, before he could think too much on it, undid the top three buttons, letting the shirt open up enough to reveal the expanse of his neck down to his collarbone. He then lent forwards to rest an elbow on the table, his head resting on his hand. Across the table, Caleb cleared his throat.

“Are you too warm, Schatz ?”

Essek looked up at last and was pleased to find a faint blush had graced Caleb’s cheeks. 

“Just a bit, apologies for disturbing you.” He looked back to his notes. “What is the time?”

“Ah, around nine in the evening. We still have plenty of time for researching tonight.”

“Actually,” Essek closed his notebook with a snap. “I find myself rather weary. I recall there being a hot tub on the lower level, I think I shall retreat there for the time being.”

He deposited his notebook into his dimensional pocket and stood up from the table, glancing at Caleb. 

“Of course, the cats will bring you anything you need.”

“Will you come to find me around midnight as usual?” Essek asked as he stepped around the table.

“If that is what you wish.” Caleb caught him by the wrist and brought his knuckles to his lips briefly, catching his gaze from under his lashes. “Rest up Essek.”

He felt the blush burn across his features as he nodded and gently pulled his hand away before continuing on down to the second level in a daze. Throwing open the first set of doors he came across, Essek was pleased to find the aforementioned hot tub. The room was designed to appear as if outdoors under a night sky, a bamboo fence line along the walls and several tables, benches and lounge chairs were nearby for use. Oddly shaped rocks circled the hot tub proper and steam was already rising off the water invitingly. With little regard, knowing Caleb was still several flights above him, he took off his clothes and folded them neatly onto the nearest bench then sank down into the water with a groan, until only his head remained above the water. For a moment he sat there and simply stewed in the warm water before he shifted to sit on the ledge under the water and drew out his copper wire.

“Yasha, I tried. I tried to show more skin but he seemed indifferent to it. Are you sure there aren’t other things I could try?” 

“ Hi, Essek. Hm. Maybe you should take off all your clothes next time? Oh, wait, how many words is that? Uh, you could also try- ” 

Essek huffed out a laugh and shook his head. 

“I’m afraid your message cut off my dear, what was it you were trying to tell me?” Essek sent off the spell at the same moment Caleb entered the room with a fluffy towel over each arm. 

“I hope I am not interrupting?” He asked with an easy smile as he set the towels onto the bench next to Essek’s clothes.

“Of course not, I was just talking to Yasha.”

If Caleb was surprised by this fact, it didn’t show on his face as he removed his shoes and socks before rolling up his pant legs.

“ Oh! I was going to say - nevermind - Beau had a better idea. She said that Caleb’s love language is gift-giving and acts of service. ”

Essek blinked as Caleb sat on the edge of the hot tub next to him and sank his feet into the water with an appreciative groan. He turned his gaze back out over the water, unable to look at Caleb any longer as he turned Yasha’s words over in his mind. He was so distracted he didn’t notice the hand until it brushed his ear as Caleb took some of his hair between his fingers. Essek flinched back instinctively, looking up at Caleb.

“Apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” Caleb’s eyes were wide and honest.

“What are you attempting to accomplish by touching my hair?”

“Ah, it’s a bit dusty from today’s adventure.”

“Oh. Thank you for telling me.” He raised his hand from the water, ready to cast prestidigitation when Caleb’s hand suddenly covered his own. 

“I would be amenable to wash it for you. If you would like.”

Essek paused, his gaze shooting to Caleb, mouth slightly agape.

“You… what ?” All thought had fled his brain as he thought about the rather intimate implications of that offer. And the fact that Caleb was still holding his hand aloft.

“I know you place very high standards on your personal hygiene, I am offering to help.” Caleb’s voice was teasing as he gently squeezed Essek’s hand before beginning to let go. “If that is too forward I understand.”

“No!” Essek clasped tighter around Caleb’s hand then caught himself. “I mean, I would be grateful for your assistance.”

Caleb’s smile was blinding.

“Do you have a preference for scent? Lavender, vanilla, peppermint?” 

“Lavender is acceptable.”

Caleb called for one of the spectral cats and within minutes the cat had returned with a platter offering a selection of bathing lotions and oils. Caleb took the offered platter and set it down beside him. He then spread his legs a bit and motioned for Essek to take the space between. He hesitated. It made sense in the way that Caleb would have easy access to his hair but the things it did to his poor heart didn’t help. The last time he’d occupied the space he’d been fully clothed and fed up with Caleb’s crawling pace of affection. He supposed that was still true now. With what he hoped was a neutral expression, he shuffled over into the space between Caleb’s thighs and got comfortable, but kept a distance between his body and Caleb’s. Resting his hands in his lap, he kept his eyes forwards. Gently, carefully, hands lightly touch the sides of his head, avoiding his ears.

“Your hair has grown long,” Caleb comments quietly, tilting Essek’s head to the side to better see the weeks of growth on his usually shorn sides. “I could clean up the sides for you as well if you wish.”

The protest is on the very tip of his tongue when Yasha’s words float back into his head. Acts of Service she’d said. Caleb showed his affection through acts of service. And gift-giving. But right now he was focused on the acts of service and this certainly felt like one. 

“Very well, do as you please.”

Caleb is silent and for a brief moment, he wonders if that was perhaps too sharp a tone, then all of a sudden there is a hand on the back of his head before the water rushes up to meet his face. He has the time to take a quick breath before Caleb dunks him unceremoniously under the water. The hand on the back of his head is gone instantly and he sits back up with a gasping and spluttering, water now dripping down his face and hair as he turns wildly to look at Caleb behind him. Caleb who is grinning and laughing. Essek settles him with the most dignified glare he can, knowing he looks akin to a drowned rat.

“Apologies Schatz , you were starting to sound like an elf I once knew. He was callous and cruel and I feared for a moment you were becoming him once more.”

Essek blinked slowly, catlike, then smiled fondly.

“Never again ta'ecelle. You bring too much light into my existence for that.”

Caleb matched his smile and reached out to brush back his hair from his face.

“Good.” The hand left his hair and drifted down to his cheek. “Good.”

Essek settled back, more comfortable this time, before Caleb set to work. A part of Essek had always wondered what it would feel like with Caleb’s hands in his hair and the real thing did not disappoint. Caleb approached washing his hair the same as he did with his spellwork; careful, calculated movements across his scalp to ensure each and every inch was taken care of until his head was more foam than hair. This time Caleb asked him to dunk himself and was there after he rose again with the corner of a towel to wipe the water from his eyes. Then Caleb tilted his head to the side and took a razor to it, carefully avoiding his ears and cutting it back to the length that Essek preferred; short back and sides. From the tray he also produced a comb and set to work with the top of Essek’s hair, untangling the knots from their day’s adventure and his own motions of washing it. For the most part, Essek kept his eyes closed and tried to focus on the calming sensations of the comb through his hair but the second Caleb had laid hands on him all blood had rushed south and stayed there throughout leaving him now almost shivering and achingly hard. A hand suddenly gripped his shoulder and Essek opened his eyes at last and realised that Caleb had been talking to him.

“Essek? Is this too much?”

He takes a moment to come back into himself before he shook his head and the hand on his shoulder squeezed tightly. 

“The heat is getting to you then.” Caleb then stands and with him goes the warmth of his hand on Essek. The whine that leaves him at the loss is undignified but he does turn to watch as Caleb picks up one of the fluffy towels and holds it up in front of him. 

“Come on, time for bed.” Caleb closes his eyes with a small grin. “I won’t watch.”

I wish you would. Essek stands and steps out of the hot tub and over to Caleb, taking the offered towel and wrapping it around himself.

“I’m decent.” Caleb opened his eyes again and blinked. 

“I thought you may have wanted to get-”

“No, this will do.” Essek waves a hand and the pile of his clothes begins to float. “Unless it bothers you?”

“No, it does not,” Caleb replies, a bit too quickly and Essek allows himself to smile faintly. Using one hand to hold the towel tight around him, he reached out with the other to Caleb and placed it gently on his cheek. 

“Kiss me?” He asks and Caleb smiled before swooping in to press a kiss to his cheek. “Close. Try again.”

Caleb’s laugh is adorable as he gently takes Essek’s face in his hands and draws him to kiss him on the lips chastely before drawing back once more. 

“You can do better than that.”

“Essek.” Caleb chuckled and stepped back a step. “You should get some rest.”

Internally Essek groaned. Outwardly he simply frowned his displeasure at being denied. Caleb simply ran a thumb across his cheek before removing his hands from his face completely and motioning for Essek to lead the way. This time he did grumble quietly before trotting off, not bothering to float, his clothes trailing along behind him. He glanced back to see Caleb grabbing his shoes. Then their eyes met and Caleb settled him with such a fond smile that Essek felt like he may burn up on the spot. It was then that he knew completely and utterly, that Caleb Widowgast was going to be the death of him one way or the other. 

_

It always came back to the seventh floor. To where they always parted for the evening for their separate rooms across the hall. To where Essek had finally thrown caution into the wind and told Caleb to kiss him. And so he had kissed him, and every night since before returning to their separate rooms. The separate rooms that he’d come to both adore and loathe. He adored his room because Caleb had carefully crafted it with him in mind and loathed it for the simple fact it meant that they had to be apart. Maybe that was weak willed of him. They spent the rest of their time together, perhaps too much in each other’s personal space, but the moment they parted he had never felt more alone. Now more than ever he understood the trashy romances he had read, the need , the want, to crawl into their skin and be close to them always. It alarmed him to a degree how much in love he was with man, and how badly he wanted to stay beside him. Once again they were on the seventh floor, stood before their doors after a day of running for their lives from the dangers of Aeor, in contemplative silence, Essek’s hand curled around Caleb’s, his mantle hanging over his other arm. 

“We…uh…we nearly didn’t escape today did we?” Caleb finally voices his thoughts and Essek tilts his head enough to look at Caleb. Caleb whose eyes are staring almost blankly ahead at the wall between their doors. 

“No. We were very lucky.” Essek had never been one to sugarcoat in these situations and wouldn’t start now. “But we lived. And there is always tomorrow.”

Caleb’s shoulders seemed to sag ever so slightly.

“I am beginning to wonder…if perhaps I should go home…soon.”

Essek feels the breath in his throat catch slightly. A swirl of emotions suddenly and violently tears through him. He’d known that this trip would have to end eventually, from the very beginning they had been on borrowed time and he should have known-

“But not yet.” Caleb is looking at him and Essek is frozen under the piercing blue gaze. “There is still much to discover here and I…I am hesitant to leave you. We are, how they say, tip-toeing into uncharted waters and I…I don’t want you to think I am fleeing whatever this is between us.”

Caleb’s warm hand squeezed tighter around his own. 

“It will be strange…after spending so much time with you, to not see you for months on end again.”

“ Ja . It will be.” 

Essek dropped his spell and allowed his feet to touch down on the ground gently before he turned to Caleb fully. 

“I don’t want to be alone tonight with my thoughts.” The rush of honesty surprised even himself. Caleb nodded along as if he was thinking the same thing. “May I…stay with you?”

Caleb turned to him, with a knowing nod.

“Of course Essek. Collect what you want from your room and I will be waiting.” Caleb brought their joined hands to his lips briefly before letting go and slipping into his room. Essek didn’t take long, stripping down into his nightwear, a simple plain tunic that ended just below his knees, and carefully removing what little jewellery he still wore. With that done he padded across the hall to knock on Caleb’s door. A sudden burst of realisation hit him; he’d never entered Caleb’s room before. He’d caught flashes of it the times when they’d parted, but never once entered in all the time they’d been in Aeor. As soon as the realisation came it was gone again as the door opened of its own accord and a voice entered his head.

‘I am in the next room, please make yourself comfortable.’

Essek carefully slipped in and shut the door behind himself, doing a once over of the room. It was a pleasant sitting room of zemnian design with comfortable looking chairs around a lit fire. Unlike in his own room, there was no stained glass window above the fireplace and Essek knew that it was no mistake. Beside the chairs was a small side table with the familiar five books and he absently ran his hand across the cover of the top book, Der Katzenprinz before moving on, heading for the open door that led into the next room. 

“Caleb?” He spoke as he poked his head around the door curiously, hoping to not alarm the other wizard. He was surprised to find that Caleb appeared to have no middle room, the sitting room instead leading straight into his bedroom. A large four-poster bed sat in one half of the room, the other occupied by the bathtub, in which Caleb currently reclined, his back facing Essek. A desk had also somehow been squeezed into the space as well, littered with papers and Caleb’s holster thrown unceremoniously on top of all of it. 

“I will not be long,” Caleb said, casting a glance over his shoulder at Essek who so far had just lingered in the doorway. “Please, make yourself comfortable Essek.”

Essek nodded even though Caleb had turned away again. He was halfway across the room towards the bed when he noticed the state of Caleb’s hair hanging over the edge of the tub. 

“Did you even brush your hair?” Caleb’s gaze is immediately on him and he realises he’d said that a lot sharper than he’d intended. “I mean, there is always time to look after yourself, Caleb.” 

Without waiting for an answer, Essek is beside the bed tugging on the rope beside it to summon one of the spectral cats.

“Essek, you don’t-”

“Tonight, I show you how to take care of your hair, Caleb Widowgast. No objections.”

He can hear Caleb’s jaw audibly click closed before the man swallows. 

“Alright.”

The cats returned in quick order with the requested items, a platter similar to the one Caleb had requested, with hair oils and several combs and brushes, including one of Essek’s own from his room. A stool and small table were also brought for him and placed at the head of the bath behind Caleb so that he could sit comfortably while he worked. Once the cats had been dismissed, Essek settled himself behind Caleb and assessed the damage.

“You have such lovely hair, it’s a shame it has been neglected.” Essek set about removing the tie from within the ginger locks before he took to the ends with his comb, detangling them first before slowly moving his way further up. He sectioned off the hair as best he could before continuing to untangle it with both his fingers and the comb. Caleb was mostly silent while he worked, except for the few times Essek hit a knot and tugged to loosen it, and even then it was simply a sharp breath drawn in between his teeth. While he worked, Essek let his mind wander, firstly over the events of the day running for their lives through Aeor, then their conversation and the fact that Caleb had agreed to let him spend the night in his room. This fragile, hesitant, something that had formed between them that Essek was not going to call love when he was unsure of Caleb’s view on the matter. Perhaps tonight, under the cover of darkness, he could trick himself into whispering it aloud while Caleb slept so it was at least out there in the air. From there it surely had to get easier right?

With his hair finally brushed and smooth, Essek warmed some of the scented oil the cats had provided between his hands. Then he began the task of carefully running his fingers through Caleb’s hair from root to end, carefully coating it in the oil. He could just have easily used a comb for this part but it was a silly thrill to get to use his hands instead and he revelled in the chance to run his fingers through Caleb’s hair freely. If Caleb noticed his exuberance at getting to actually play with his hair, he didn’t comment on it. Once Essek was content with the coverage of the oil and had his fill of running his fingers through it, for now, he decided on another course of action. 

“May I braid your hair for you? It would ensure it doesn’t get tangled while you sleep.”

Caleb pauses.

“Uh, ja , if you wish.”

“Have you ever had it braided before?” Essek asks as he gently guides Caleb’s head back so he can reach better.

“No, it had never been long enough.”

Essek doesn’t press further and simply begins his task, focusing on the head of hair in front of him as he begins to weave the braid from the very crown of Caleb’s head. He very pointedly does not take any glances at the water beneath which is Caleb’s naked form. He was taking this gift for what it was, the chance to treat Caleb for once and he wasn’t about to spoil that by letting his horniness get in the way. Instead, he crossed his legs tightly, literally squashing the beginning of his erection and continued with the braid, drawing in the hair from the sides carefully and twisting it in with the rest. From the nape of the neck, it was as simple as just twisting the strands together right down to the very tips of his hair and then securing it with his usual piece of leather. Pleased, Essek lets the braid fall from his hand and examines his work. A few of the shorter hairs around his face had already come loose, curling in the heat from the bath, but that was expected. The rest appeared to be tightly enough woven that even if Caleb moved around a lot in his sleep - or something else? - they would stay in place for the most part. Essek shook his head clear of those thoughts.

“It is done, it should last until morning.”

Caleb chuckled and tilted his head back far enough that he could see Essek. 

“Thank you, Schatz .” Essek preens a bit. “I think I would like to get out now, do you mind?”

“Of course not.”

Essek drew across the divider as he made his way across the room, giving Caleb a brief moment of privacy, while he clambered up into the bed. For now, he settled himself into the middle of the bed, waiting for Caleb to finish up and tell him which side he preferred. He was intently not focusing on the thought of sharing a bed with the object of his affections when the divider slid back across and Caleb stepped up to the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of loose sleep pants. His mouth actually fucking watered at the sight of Caleb’s chest, littered with scars and the bush of unkempt red chest hair that he realised instantly that he would love nothing more than to bury his face into. 

‘Down Thelyss .’ He warned himself as Caleb sat on the edge of the bed.

“Do you have a preference for a side?” Essek asks, trying to keep his voice as calm and level as he could but he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from the aforementioned chest hair. 

“ Nein , I usually just fall into it.”

“ Excellent! ” Essek practically throws himself onto the other side of the bed, rolling to face away from Caleb. He curls into himself as sudden anxiety blooms in his chest and he thinks that perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea. The bed behind him dips as Caleb climbs in silently and for a moment he thinks that maybe he won’t ask. Then a hand touches his shoulder lightly and as sure as if Caleb had spoken his name, Essek looks, meeting Caleb’s concerned gaze.

“Essek, if you are uncomfortable…?”

“No, no nothing like that.” Essek waves a hand as if to shoo the thought away. “It’s just…you are, I mean to say, you…have a very distracting chest and I…oh... nindol zhah xull .”

Caleb chuckled softly and tucks back a loose lock of hair behind his ear.

“I apologise for the distress my chest has caused you. I can put a shirt on?”

“No, no, I have no wish for you to be uncomfortable in your own chambers.” Essek idly drew familiar symbols onto the sheets in front of him. He almost jumped out of his skin when Caleb’s warm hand rests itself on his hip, branding him through the thin nightshirt.

“ Schatz, Essek, you can talk to me about anything that is bothering you, you know that, ja ?” 

Essek swallowed and allowed his hand to drift up to Caleb’s cheek.

“I know ta'ecelle , it’s just…that...you…you make me want things. Very badly want them. But I…I have never had to voice these things aloud before and even with all my words I feel I cannot…cannot express what I want.” Essek absently curled a loose piece of Caleb’s hair around his finger. “I thought I could tell you what I wanted by other means but I do not think it was very effective.”

Essek chuckled to himself humourlessly.

“I unbuttoned my shirt in a cold room and then later stood before you in nothing but a towel. Now I’m here in your bed and am still unable to say what I want because of fear? Uncertain that you won’t want the same?” 

Caleb’s thumb on his hip began to slowly rub warm, calming circles. 

“I want things as well.” Caleb’s voice is soft and he quirks a half-smile. “Perhaps as badly as you do.”

“Then why?”

“I thought perhaps you were just becoming more comfortable with me. I didn’t think it was like that.”

“Beautiful, foolish, young man.” 

Essek turned in his arms and surged up to kiss him properly. Caleb responded eagerly, the fingers on his hip digging in to grip him better before gently guiding him to roll over. Then Caleb was hovering over him and he was granted a brief glance down his form before Caleb pressed him into the sheets with the weight of his body on Essek’s. He could feel every dip and curve of Caleb and basked in it, wrapping his arms around Caleb’s neck and for a moment briefly regretting braiding Caleb’s hair as he could not bury his fingers into it. That was soon forgotten along with all other thoughts as Caleb shifted against him and their groins met, the hard length in Caleb’s pants rubbing briefly against his own. Caleb swallowed down his moan before his lips moved to his jaw and Essek squirmed against him, trying to find friction. He felt the puff of a laugh from Caleb as a hand took hold of his thigh to spread them before he rutted against him again, earning another breathy moan from Essek. 

“Caleb.” Caleb had barely touched him and he hates how he already sounds thoroughly fucked. “ Caleb .”

“What is it mein Schatz?” Caleb asks sweetly and Essek fights down the urge to smack him. 

“Caleb,” He tries again, fighting through the haze. “I want… bite me? ”

Caleb shivers against him and groans, pressing his face into Esseks collarbone. Then his lips are back on Esseks briefly before moving to his ear.

“Only if you return the favour later.”

Esseks nods eagerly and Caleb moves further down and proceeds to sink his teeth into the crook of Esseks neck, right next to his collarbone. Essek arches and moans as Caleb takes his time, rolling skin between teeth and sucking careful bruises that Essek can tell will ache perfectly tomorrow. Caleb continues the process twice more on his neck while his hands wander up along Essek’s thighs, hitching up his nightshirt in the process. Caleb’s hands drift until they reach the dip of Essek’s hips and he pauses. 

“Essek, are you not wearing…?”

“I may have been…ah…rather hopeful for this?”

Caleb chuckles and shakes his head before he meets Essek’s gaze, unwavering. 

“You…you surprise me at every turn, Essek Thelyss.” His hands shift the shirt up slightly higher. “May I?”

Essek lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding and gives a small nod before shifting to sit up a little so that Caleb could tug the shirt up and over his head. Caleb doesn’t give him a second to think about the fact he’s naked and is pressing him back into the sheets with kisses and gentle touches before smothering him with his body once more.

“Beautiful,” Caleb whispers into his mouth before he’s sinking down, biting into the skin of his chest, marking him with bruises and the searing heat of his tongue. Caleb leaves a rather dark hickey right next to his nipple before he takes that in his mouth, rolling the sensitive bud between tongue and teeth and leaving him even more achingly hard. Seemingly pleased with his task completed, Caleb claims his lips once more and Essek finally lets his hands wander down the planes of Caleb’s chest, sinking his fingers into the lovely chest hair he’d been distracted by earlier. Caleb arches into his touch and Essek takes his time, mapping his chest with his fingertips, each scar and mole, each dip and curve of skin that made up the shape of his form. He was rewarded in his exploration by the little breathy noises Caleb makes that go straight to his cock. In his travels his thumbs find nipples and he takes a pause to rub them gently, earning him a soft gasp of a moan. Filing that away for later, he continues downwards across the broad panes of Caleb’s abdomen to the waistband of his pants. He hooks his thumbs under the fabric and tugs, guiding Caleb's clothed cock to grind against his own once more. Caleb huffs a laugh against his lips. 

“You want them off?”

“Yes. Please ,” Essek tries to keep the note of begging out of his voice but by the smirk on Caleb’s face, as he sits back up and undoes the ties at the front of his pants, he knows he failed. But all those thoughts leave his head as he catches sight of Caleb’s cock as he removes his pants and tosses them aside to join Essek’s shirt. His cock stood at attention among copper curls and Essek had never wanted something in his mouth more than that perfect cock. 

“ Caleb .” Again Essek did not beg but his voice betrayed him. Caleb was back over him instantly, pressing soothing kisses to his cheeks.

“What do you need?”

“I need…I want… fuck. ”

“I intend to,” Caleb chuckles. “What do you need , Essek?”

“I want…I want to be on top for a bit.”

“Of course.” 

Caleb helped him to sit up before they switched positions and he settled back against the pillows instead. He guided Essek’s leg over him so he was straddling his hips, pressing their cocks together in his lap. Essek moans and gently rocks his hips, grinding them against one another, still both panting and startlingly hard. But Essek was getting distracted. Now with Caleb spread out beneath him he took the chance to fulfil his end of the deal and begin littering Caleb’s chest and neck with dark bruises. Caleb writhes beneath him as he takes his time digging teeth into every inch of skin he is offered, sucking bruises into his neck and shoulders before moving further southward to his chest. He is careful to not break the skin, and he can’t help but admire the deep shade of red the hickeys turn as he moves on to the next. Essek shuffles down further and can sense Caleb opening his mouth to speak but cuts him off before he can by swallowing down his cock, letting it hit the back of his throat in one smooth motion. Caleb spoke loudly in zemnian and arched up into him with a moan. Essek filed that noise away for later and set about sucking Caleb’s cock like his life depended on it. He wasn't inexperienced by any means, but he hoped his enthusiasm made up for any gaps in his knowledge. It had been a while after all. Caleb didn’t seem to mind though, gasping and moaning with each bob of his head, cock twitching with interest each time it met the back of his throat. What he couldn’t fit into his mouth he wrapped a hand around, moving in time with his head as he hollowed his cheeks and pressed the head of Caleb’s cock right into the back of his throat before he swallowed around it. His gag reflex protested but it was worth it for the noise Caleb let out and buried a hand into Esek’s short hair. 

“Essek… bitte, noch nicht…zu gut …” The hand in his hair tightens, not quite painful, but firm and Essek continues his assault with his tongue. Caleb planted his feet against the mattress as he groaned and very carefully, as if testing the waters, thrust up into Essek’s mouth. He moaned around Caleb’s cock and finally dared to look up and catch his gaze. Caleb’s cheeks had turned a delightful cherry red, eyes half-lidded and mouth slightly agape. He looked utterly dishevelled and it sent a thrill running down his spine knowing that he’d done that to Caleb’s tightly wound self-control. Caleb gave another half thrust up into his mouth as if asking for permission as if Essek needed to give him permission to thoroughly fuck his face. Essek hollowed his cheeks once more and that appeared to be all the encouragement Caleb needed before the grip in his hair tightened minutely and Caleb began to thrust up into his mouth. He set a comfortable pace and Essek kept his hand circled at the base of Caleb’s cock, preventing it from accidentally choking him, all the while swirling his tongue. It doesn’t take long before the hand in his hair is tugging him off and he notes that Caleb's chest is heaving. The hand on his head slips down to hold his cheek and Essek can’t help the grin that graces him as Caleb seems to fumble, unable to speak. Essek brushes a hand along Caleb’s leg before he grips it and suddenly sinks his teeth into the soft flesh of inner thigh.

“ Scheiße !”

Essek takes his time teasing the bruise into skin before he sits up and back with a smirk. Caleb is already watching him with a darkened gaze, pupils blown wide, still breathing heavily. He makes a gesture towards the bedside stand and Essek follows the motion with his eyes as Caleb finally finds his words.

“There is…uh…oil.” 

Essek nods and stretches out across the bed, vaguely aware his cock is practically dripping onto the sheets and digs around in the drawer until his hand grasps the bottle. He pulls it free and is halfway through turning onto his back when Caleb is suddenly there behind him, pressing against his back, warm and solid. Essek has half-formed a questioning thought when a hand around his cock robs him of it instantly. Taking advantage of his sudden lapse, Caleb manhandles him so he is pressed back against Caleb’s chest completely, one hand on his cock, the other gently resting at his throat, not holding him but deftly pinning him in place with the tips of his fingers. Up until this point his thoughts had zeroed in on Caleb’s hand on him, but now he could feel the press of lips along his shoulder and the unmistakable burn of Caleb’s cock wedged against the cleft of his ass. Essek has enough sense to grind back against Caleb, earning himself a smothered grunt of pleasure as Caleb presses his face further into Essek’s shoulder. So far Caleb’s hand has not moved, simply holding place at the base of his cock and it was too much and not enough.

“ Caleb , ta'ecelle. ” 

Caleb seems to stir, from wherever his thoughts had taken him, and at last his hand moves, stroking Essek twice before stilling again. Essek bites down a whine. Caleb’s lips are on his neck once more. 

“You are far too pretty Liebling ,” He murmurs against skin and Essek shivers. Finally, Caleb’s hand moves again, setting a tantalisingly slow pace, gently teasing around the head with his thumb as he reaches the apex of his stroke. Essek still moaned, arching back into Caleb. 

“I wonder what you look like when you come.”

Essek choked at the words and Caleb suddenly descended upon him, teeth at his neck once more as his hand sped up to a punishing pace that caused Essek to writhe back against him. He fisted a hand into Caleb’s braid, shamelessly letting the noises tumble from his lips as Caleb expertly jerked him off. The heat pooling in his gut matched the hand firmly stroking him. His breathing hitched and his toes curled as he arched back against Caleb feeling as though he may burst at any second. Then Caleb’s hand suddenly stopped, gripping the base of his cock firmly and this time he didn’t hold back the whine as he shook in Caleb’s arms, nails digging into his scalp. 

“ Why did you …”  

Essek doesn’t get to finish the thought as Caleb is all over him, crashing their lips together once more in a desperate heated kiss. Essek soon finds his hands pinned above his head at the wrists with one of Caleb’s hands, while the other keeps his balance as he looms over Essek, seeming as out of breath as he is. 

“Apologies, I…I realised I wanted…I wanted to watch you fall apart under me.” Caleb swallowed heavily and Essek felt his mouth go dry. “I would…very much like to, uh, fuck you, into this mattress.”

Essek’s mouth drops into a small ‘o’ as he stares up at the gorgeous man above him, bright red in his cheeks and hair and the generous amount of hickeys Essek had left on his neck and chest. The very same man who just very politely asked to rail him. 

“Light, yes .”

Caleb beams and descends upon him once more, releasing Essek’s hands in order to plant them on his body instead, leaving trails of warmth where they wandered, exploring, mapping his form as they moved against one another. Essek dragged nails across his back and shoulders and scalp, drinking in the noises Caleb made against his lips, each gasp and shiver, his to keep tucked away in the corner of his heart reserved just for him. All too soon Caleb was moving away again to grab the oil and he momentarily mourned the loss of his warm weight atop him. Hands gently grabbed his hips and Essek allowed himself to be moved and positioned obscenely on his back with his knees drawn up towards his chest as Caleb slicked his fingers. He soothed a hand along Essek’s leg before his attention was drawn southward as fingers drifted down between his cheeks. For a moment he thinks of drawing back, that it’s too much, and then Caleb’s finger sinks in and he is lost, arching back against the sheets. Caleb presses him down into the sheets and takes his time methodically opening him up with a single finger, swallowing down each noise Essek makes. He finally takes mercy and adds a second finger, curling them within him and Essek keens, wishing for any kind of friction on his cock, which was currently trapped between his thighs and his stomach. Thankfully Caleb seems as eager as he and is soon sitting back to slick up his cock. Essek spreads his legs in what he hopes is an enticing way.

It seems to work as Caleb’s lips slightly part before he licks them, then proceeds to dive back down upon him, lining up the head of his cock with his hole. Essek had to quietly admit to himself it had been a long time since he’d allowed anyone to take him like this and he supposed it made sense due to his usual demeanour and the way he presented himself to the world. The next thought that follows, is that there were very few of his past lovers that he would have surrendered control like this to and again he is reminded of the power that Caleb Widowgast holds over him. As Caleb presses into him at last, his heart clenches painfully and he claws at Caleb’s spine leaving red marks in his wake. Caleb murmured softly in zemnian as he shallowly thrust into Essek, pushing further and further until his cock is fully sheathed within him and all Essek can think about is the stretch and burn of finally feeling full. Then Caleb’s lips are next to his ear.

“Hold on.”

Essek has barely enough time to grab the headboard with one hand before Caleb changes the grip on his hips and proceeds to absolutely nail him into the bed, hips snapping forth and burying deep inside him. He lets out a choked gasp as Caleb repeats the motion again and again until he’s lost to the sensation of anything but Caleb in and around him. At some point, Caleb wrangled Eseek’s leg up over his shoulder and the new angle had him seeing stars as Caleb continued to pound into him until his toes curled. For someone whose specialty was time, he was lost to it as Caleb continued his assault, the warmth once more pooling low in his gut. As Caleb’s kisses grew more feverish he knew the other man was close. Once more he buried his fingers into the braid he’d made, scraping nails across his scalp, as Caleb forced a hand between them to wrap around his cock and jerk it in time to his thrusts. Essek arched into the touch, gasping into Caleb’s mouth as the tension quickly built. Then it all suddenly became too much and the tension snapped like a frayed rope and he came hard, clenching down around Caleb who tumbled after him with a groan. For a moment he felt like he was floating, then suddenly slammed back into himself as Caleb all but collapsed on top of him, a warm but welcome weight. Gently, absently he brushed his fingers against the expanse of back he had access to with Caleb lying atop him. Caleb shivered but made no motion to move.

Finally, Essek prods him into movement, his leg complaining about the odd angle it was still trapped at. Slowly Caleb forced himself up and off Essek, who shivered at the sudden chill of the room without body heat. He also became aware of how sticky he was. With a wave of a hand, they are both cleaned up, Caleb silently nodding his thanks as he catches his breath. Essek takes the chance to fully appreciate the view of Caleb, practically glowing as he laid out on his back next to him. He then summons the blanket up to his hand.

“Cold?” Caleb asks, rolling onto his side to watch as Essek settles on his side facing Caleb. 

“We don’t all run warm like you.” Essek reached out across the space between them to place a hand on Caleb’s chest. “And you are…very warm.”

Caleb chuckles and places a hand on Essek’s cheek before he follows after with his lips, stealing a brief kiss.

“I believe I understand what you want now,” Caleb teases and Essek feels his entire face flush. 

“You are horrible Caleb Widowgast.”

The peel of laughter that follows sends Essek’s heart thundering. Gods above he was hopeless for this man . He drew Caleb back in for another kiss, passionate but with none of the heat from earlier. Caleb pulls back, but only so much that their lips are just touching.

“Ich liebe dich, mein Schatz,” Caleb murmurs against him and Essek can’t help but smile slightly.

“What does that mean?” He whispers before Caleb kisses him again.

“I’ll tell you someday.”

Now he really wished he’d cast comprehend language before this. Two could play that game, however.

“ Usstan che dos, ussta ta'ecelle .” Essek can’t help but grin slightly as Caleb cocks his head slightly at the rough guttural undercommon.

“What does that mean?”

“I’ll tell you someday.” Caleb huffs a laugh as Essek kisses him once more. 

Eventually, Caleb tugs him closer and Essek finds resting his head against Caleb’s chest affords him a wonderful front row seat to his heartbeat. Caleb, having made sure Essek was properly tucked in under the blanket and his arm quickly passes out, face buried into the top of Essek’s head. Not long after he rolls in his sleep to fully encompass Essek in the circle of his arms. It's there that Essek trances, warm and safe. When he wakes hours later, Caleb is spread-eagled on his back, giving Essek the chance to slip out of bed and throw on his abandoned nightshirt. In the hours when Caleb sleeps, he often found himself working in the comfort of his room, but he supposed, for the purposes of now, Caleb wouldn't mind if he worked here. So he settles at the desk, after setting aside Caleb’s spellbooks, and looks over the papers briefly before setting about to make notes of his own. Time ticked on until he heard the soft groans of a waking Caleb. Soon enough hands were on him, tilting his head back so that lips could meet. 

“ Guten Morgen ,” Caleb greets softly with a fond smile.

“Did you sleep well?” Essek asks as Caleb moves away again heading for the tub. 

“Very well.” With an appreciative groan, Caleb sinks into the already heated tub. “We have some time before we move on today. We should make the most of it.”

Essek can't help but smile as Caleb’s eyes look him up and down. 

“You should join me, I know you hate to be cold.”

“Give me a moment, I was onto something over here.” Essek laughs and turns back to his page. He draws out his copper wire from his wrist pocket and holds it close as he murmurs.

“Yasha. Thank you for your council. I think Caleb and I have, as you say, figured it out. Please don’t tell Jester, I beg you.” 

He set aside his copper wire as the reply came through

“ That’s great Essek! I’m so happy for you two. Stay safe out there and take care. Beau! Hey! Essek says that he and Caleb fucked- ”

Essek immediately slapped his hands over his face and sighed heavily. Bless her, he adored her, but one of these days she was going to give him a heart attack.

“Essek, are you alright?”

Speaking of heart attacks, he turns to look at Caleb in the tub, who is halfway through undoing Essek’s braid. 

“I’m alright ta'ecelle , I’m coming now.”

Caleb smiled warmly and for just a moment Essek believed he could get through this in one piece.