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Ernie had taken Lucy downstairs to the garden ‘for a chat’, she didn’t know what that meant, but she followed anyway.
As she rounded the corner from the stairs she opened her mouth to ask him what required such secrecy when she was stopped by the sight in front of her, Kate, Whistler, standing at the other end of the garden, looking nervous, beautiful, damn it, but still definitely nervous.
“What…” she began, as she turned toward Ernie, only to see caring eyes smiling back at her.
Ernie nodded his head in the blonde’s direction, “I’ll leave you two to it”, then quieter, with a hand on Lucy’s shoulder, he whispered “please just hear her out”, as he stepped away.
Cautiously Lucy walked closer to Kate, “um, hi”
Kate’s eyes hadn’t left Lucy, this whole time, nervously playing with the ring on her right hand as she watched Lucy walk over, “hi” she replied with a small smile. This was potentially the most important moment of her life, she needed to keep her nerve.
“So, what’s all this about, why did Ernie bring me down here under false pretences?” Lucy was a little frustrated at the nature of this meeting, but she was also inquisitive of what was going on.
Kate looked down to her feet, finding it hard to look directly into Lucy’s eyes any more, worried that this might all be in vain and her heart was about to be shattered even more than it already was.
“Well, um, I didn’t think you would come down if it was me who asked, so I kinda asked Ernie if he would help”.
Lucy shifted in her stance slightly and let out a little huff, that was probably a correct assumption, she just found it so hard to be in her presence now.
Kate continued.
“I’m sorry, I just, I really needed to talk to you and I wasn’t sure what else to do, you haven’t really wanted to speak with me, but this was turning me inside out. I promise, if you just stay for a few minutes and hear me out, if after that you don’t ever want to speak to me again, then you won’t have to, but please, just let me do this”.
Kate looked back up into Lucy’s eyes, Lucy’s expression currently unreadable.
Lucy didn’t say anything for what felt like minutes, but was really only seconds, before “go on then”. She didn’t like this, but she was here now, if this meant Kate would finally leave her alone, to mend her broken heart, then should could manage a few minutes.
Kate gave a quick half smile, thanking Lucy for the opportunity, before looking back down at her hands and the ring she was fiddling with.
“Have I ever told you about this ring?”
Lucy frowned a little, ‘is this really what she brought me down here to talk about’ she thought to herself.
“Erm, no” she stated.
“Well, it used to be Noah’s, he used to wear it all the time before he enlisted, then he used to carry it on a chain around his neck once he was in the Army. It was returned to us, along with a couple of other personal belongings, after he…. after he died”.
Lucy wasn’t even sure what to say to that, so just continued to look at Kate, waiting for more.
“I’ve worn it every day since, it’s always reminded me of how much he helped me feel safe, and how I could be loved, and how I could love someone and feel so much too. I’d only ever had that with Noah”.
Kate smiled at the memory of Noah.
Lucy wasn’t sure why Kate was sharing this with her, particularly now, but she still cared for Kate, well, still loved her. She reached forward and gently rubbed Kate’s forearm.
“I’m so sorry Kate, I know how much he meant to you”
“Yeah” was all that Kate could reply in the moment.
“Kate, what are we doing down here?” Lucy asked, she wasn’t so much frustrated anymore, but confused about what all this was about. If this was the last thing Kate wanted to say to her, it was a strange request.
Kate blew out a breath as she was steeling herself for what she was about to say next. This was it.
“I love you Lucy”.
Lucy’s eyes grew wide in surprise, then, “Kate, don’t…” her heart couldn’t take this, not after everything.
“No, Lucy, you said I could say my bit, please just let me finish”
Lucy nodded her agreement.
“I love you so much Lucy, and I know I hurt you, maybe beyond repair. And I will forever carry that with me. But I needed you to know that you are loved, so much, and you’re the most amazing woman I have ever met. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I wish so much that I could be the person to give you that happiness”.
Lucy was frozen to the spot, mind suddenly all over the place as Kate continued.
“Everything we had was so real to me, even when we hadn’t defined our relationship, it felt serious to me, you were my girlfriend, for all intents and purposes, in my mind. I knew you could be someone special to me even on those first couple of days and nights when I was just visiting. Then when I came back and we ended up working together, well, I started falling for you from that first moment we were re-introduced. And I wish, I wish so much that I had told you earlier, but, well we both know communication, words, aren’t my speciality and to be honest, I was scared. I was so scared that I had fallen so much harder than you, and that it was more casual for you”.
Kate paused, tears were running down her face, and only now had she noticed that Lucy had tears in her eyes too, and seemed to be breathing more heavily and almost frozen in place. ‘What did that mean?’ she thought to herself, although she wouldn’t allow herself any real hope.
Spurred on by the fact that Lucy hadn’t stopped her so far, or walked away, she continued.
“I love you Lucy” she repeated, “and I want nothing more than to be your girlfriend, but I know that isn’t up to me. I told you at the beginning of this that if you didn’t want to speak to me again after this, then I would respect that. I’ve already spoken to the DIA office in DC and that promotion is back on the table if I want it, I can be out of your life within a couple of weeks”.
“Kate, I…” Lucy took a step closer to Kate, half reaching out, before dropping her hand as Kate spoke up again.
“Luce, please, I’m nearly finished” she said, almost defeatedly.
“There’s one last thing that I want to say, well, do, really. I said before, Noah was the only person that had ever made me feel safe, feel loved and that I had ever truly loved. That was, until you Lucy, you made me feel again. You made me feel safe, you made me feel loved with everything you did. And, with so much intensity you made me feel able to love again, I fell in love with you and it has totally consumed me”.
Kate paused as she worked the ring from her finger.
“Which is why I want you to have this” she said as she offered her brother’s ring to Lucy, tears streaming down her face at this point.
“I love you Lucy Tara, and whether we never speak again, I want you to have this, as a reminder that you are amazing, you are loved and will always be loved”.
Lucy stared at the ring, tears streaming down her face now also. She slowly reached out to take the ring from Kate and turned it over in her hand a few times in disbelief.
“Um, so, well that’s it, I’m done I guess. Thank you for at least giving me the time to hear me out” Kate said as she dropped her hand after giving the ring to Lucy. She looked down to her feet and her shoulders hunched a little, almost preparing herself for rejection, she had done everything she could.
Lucy continued to stare at the ring, contemplating what to say. Kate has just bared her soul to her, Kate loved her, Kate has been falling for her since the beginning. She had been saying everything Lucy had wanted to hear, and Lucy could barely breath. The woman she loves, loves her back. But not only that, she had given her Noah’s ring, the thing that was probably the most important item in her life.
Lucy wiped some tears from her face and looked back up from the ring, towards Kate, she looked so dejected and small, Lucy was close enough to reach forward and gently tips Kate’s chin up so that they could look at each other. The look of sadness on Kate’s face almost broke her.
Lucy smiled at her.
“Kate, thank you, thank you for the ring, I know how much it means to you, but I can’t, I can’t accept it”.
That was it, that was the moment that fully broke Kate, she began to full on sob. This had been her last chance, and even though she knew it was a slim one, and she had prepared herself for rejection, nothing could have actually prepared herself for the reality, for the hurt.
Kate began to walk away, towards the house. “I’m sorry Lucy” she managed to get out between the sobs.
But before she could take more than a couple of steps, Lucy had grabbed her forearm and turned her back around towards her.
“No Kate, I let you finish, please let me finish”.
Kate looked a little confused but waited for Lucy to continue as she tried to get her sobbing and breathing back under control.
“I can’t accept it Kate, because I know how much it means to you, and I’m so grateful that you want to share it with me. But I can’t let the woman I love, give up such an important piece of her”. She smiled up at Kate, this time a big wide happy smile, the one that only Kate could ever bring out of her, and she waited, waited for Kate to realise what she had just said.
“Wh..what?” Kate stammered out, not knowing if she had heard or understood correctly.
Lucy lifted her hand to Kate’s cheek and caressed it, Kate leant into her touch, as she always did, not breaking eye contact.
“Kate Whistler, I love you” she continued to smile that bright smile, as she saw the reality dawning on Kate’s face. “I love you so much Kate, and I have done for a long time now. And if that offer to be my girlfriend is still on the table, I would really like to take you up on that?”
Kate could not contain her smile, her excitement, her hope. She leant forward, meeting Lucy in the middle as they kissed, gently at first, Kate’s hands gently touching Lucy’s waist as she pulled her a little closer. Lucy’s hand still stroking Kate’s face.
Kate moved her hands to become tangled in Lucy’s hair, the kiss becoming more passionate. After a few moments, they pulled their lips apart, both needing a moment to cool down and breathe. They both gently laughed at each other when they realised they had gotten so caught up, but they stayed connected, hands and foreheads touching, existing in each other’s space.
“We’ve still got a lot to talk about, to work through” Lucy said.
“I know” Kate replied, caressing Lucy’s cheek this time.
“But I’m super excited for us” Lucy continued, Kate could hear the smile in her voice.
“Me too” Kate laughed a little.
“And I love you Kate”.
“I love you too Lucy, so much”.
They pulled apart for a moment, both looking into each other’s eyes, just taking in each other and the moment. Smiles creeping up on both of them.
“So, does this mean we’re girlfriend’s?” Kate smirked.
“Absolutely!” Lucy replied immediately and excitedly, before leaning in in for another gentle peck on the lips.
Kate reached out to take Lucy’s hand and began leading her towards the stairs.
“Come on Lucy, I need to introduce you to my friends”.
“Your friends?” Lucy challenged, eyebrow raised, smirk on her face.
“Yeah, my friends” Kate challenged back as they climbed the stairs.
“Right, I see” Lucy laughed. “But erm, even if they are ‘your friends’”, she used her free hand to make air quotes, “They already know me, who you introducing me to ey?” she joked.
“Not who…how” Kate replied, as they reached the top of the stairs and saw all their friends in front of them.
Lucy looked to Kate a little confused.
“Hey everyone, this is Lucy, my girlfriend” Kate said to the group, beaming.
All Lucy could hear as she tucked herself into Kate’s side smiling, Kate wrapping her arm around her, was whooping and cheering from her Ohana.
Later, Lucy would go and thank Ernie for his ‘meddling’ and she would get a much needed motherly hug from Tennant, while Jesse and Kai hugged and teased Kate like only brothers could.
And even later, when they were cuddled up on Kate’s deck at home, they would both agree that Lucy would keep Noah’s ring, on a chain around her neck, as a symbol of their love and commitment to each other.