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Theo was vaguely aware of the whispers that followed him as he and Simeon walked through camp. Murmurs of fear. All the soldiers had seen what he had done to the enemy. They were afraid of him. They hated him. Theo wrapped his hand tighter in Simeon’s shirt as a wave of dizziness hit him. He wished they weren’t scared of him.
“You’re okay,” Simeon said softly, his arm protectively draped around Theo’s shoulders. Theo nuzzled his head against Simeon’s chest. Simeon was his Reaper. His lover. His protector. And your rapist, a part of his brain whispered, the small part that wasn’t completely quieted by the drugs. He hurts you. He doesn’t care about you. You need to escape. You need to get out of here.
“No,” Theo whispered. “You’re wrong. He loves me.” Simeon looked down at him and the voice drifted off.
“What was that?” he asked.
Theo squinted as he tried to remember what he had just said. He couldn’t grab hold of any of his thoughts.
“I-I don’t know. I can’t remember,” Theo said. Goddess, his head was pounding. This is why Simeon took care of him. Because he got confused so easily.
Simeon planted a kiss against his head. “That’s alright. I’ll get you all cleaned up and then you can go to sleep. You must be exhausted.”
Theo sighed with relief when they finally entered his and Simeon’s tent. The floor was covered with rich red carpets, the air perfumed with spices. Home. In the center of the tent was a bathtub, already filled with steaming water.
Theo stripped his bloody clothes off and climbed into the tub. He winced at the hot water but shakily lowered himself up to his chest. Theo whimpered. He hadn’t realized how sore his muscles were. Simeon pulled up a stool behind him and Theo leaned back so his head was resting in his lap.
“You did so good today,” Simeon murmured as he ran a finger along the shell of Theo’s ear. “So good for me.” Theo smiled at the praise as he looked up at Simeon. He took in his mop of black hair, his neatly trimmed beard, his sparkling green eyes. I’m so lucky to have him, he thought drowsily.
“I love you,” Theo said suddenly. Simeon chuckled.
“I love you too.” With that he grabbed a washcloth and started to carefully clean the Vessel’s blood from Theo’s face. Theo closed his eyes as the soft cloth scrubbed away the drying blood from his cheek and brow. Simeon’s hands were warm and strong. Safe. Theo began to drift off, barely aware of Simeon moving on to the rest of his body.
“Wake up, sleepy head,” Simeon said. Theo jerked awake, blinking rapidly.
“M’ sorry,” he said. He was out of the tub, laid out naked on the bed.
“You were out for almost four hours. That magic was more intense than anything you’ve done before,” Simeon said from across the room. “I can still smell it on you.”
He was stripped from the waist up, his muscled chest and tattoos on full display. Theo sighed as his eyes traced the tattoos along Simeon’s strong arms. They were the tattoos of a Reaper, strong straight lines.
“You’re so pretty,” Theo said.
Simeon smiled and approached him. Theo’s heart sped up as Simeon climbed into the bed and pulled Theo against his chest. Simeon planted a kiss against Theo’s neck, eliciting a gasp.
“You deserve a reward,” Simeon growled. He rolled over so that Theo was pinned beneath him. Simeon kissed him harshly, all tongue and teeth and heat. Theo returned the kiss desperately. He needed this. He needed him. Simeon trailed his hands along Theo’s sides until they finally rested at his hips. Theo’s skin was on fire where Simeon touched him, pleasure radiating through his body and between his legs. Simeon broke the kiss with one final nip at Theo’s lip.
Theo whimpered at the loss of contact. Simeon chuckled and started to pepper kisses along Theo’s neck. Theo’s eyes fluttered closed as pleasure coursed through his entire body.
His eyes snapped open and he flinched away when Simeon’s hand landed on his cock. A wave of clarity hit him, the smoke plum still tingled in the back of his brain but his thoughts had managed to crawl out of the drugged confusion. He didn’t want this.
“No, Simeon, please, no,” he said, pushing his hands against the bigger man’s chest to try to get away. The slap was sharp and caused Theo to cry out.
“You don’t get to say no to me,” Simeon said, anger lacing his voice. His face was filled with rage, an unspoken threat hanging in the air.
Tears gathered in Theo’s eyes. He wanted to say no, Goddess, how he wanted to He didn’t want this to be his life, to spend his days as a murderer and his nights as a Reaper’s fucktoy.
“I hate you!” Theo screamed, spitting in Simeon’s face. He hadn’t been this coherent in months, the drugs weak enough that he could fight back. “I fucking hate you! Let me go!” He was sobbing now, chest heaving. He didn’t want to be a slave, didn’t want to live in a drug-induced haze. He didn’t want to be used as a weapon. He didn’t want to be raped again.
Simeon’s hands closed around his throat, not tightening but a clear threat. His voice was low when he spoke. “Let you go? There’s nowhere in the world you could go, nowhere where a gods-cursed slut like you would be welcomed. I’m the only one who is willing to put up with your shit.”
“That-that’s not true,” Theo gasped.
“It is,” Simeon said. “Everybody fucking hates Mages. You’re unnatural. Dangerous. A monster. If I hadn’t taken you into my custody, you would have been killed. And deep down, you know that I’m your only hope. You’re pathetic, Theo. You’re weak. Addicted to smoke plum, constantly in need of another hit. You’re nothing but a stupid whore.” The words were like a stab to the heart. Theo’s breath hitched. “Your life is worthless on its own. You are meant to be a slave. You’re meant to serve the True Nuvian Empire as a weapon. More importantly, you are meant to serve me. What you want is irrelevant. You aren’t a person. You’re property. And that means that if I want to fuck you, I will. You don’t have a choice.”
Theo closed his eyes as despair washed over him. Simeon was right. He couldn’t run. Not when they had gotten him hooked on smoke plum, so much of the drug coursing through his veins that he couldn’t live without it. Not when no one would offer help to a runaway Mage. Not when he belonged to the Nuvian Empire.
He didn’t have a choice. He wasn’t a person. He was a Mage, and Mages were meant to be used.
“I’m sorry sir, please forgive me,” Theo whispered, even as he prayed that the smoke plum would take over his mind again and give him relief from this nightmare. “I forgot my place. I’m sorry sir, I’m sorry.”
Simeon’s face softened and he pressed a kiss to the cheek he had just slapped.
“There’s my little dumb slut,” Simeon said. “Spread your legs.” Tears burned at Theo’s eyes as he opened his legs, allowing Simeon’s hand to travel back to his cock. “I think I’ll have to increase your dosage again. I like you better when you’re high and docile.”
Theo stared at the ceiling of the tent, fingers curling in the sheets and tears streaming down his face as Simeon raped him.
I’m not a person, he told himself. I’m not a person. And at that moment, he believed it.