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It's syrupy-sticky in the tiny apartment at South Seas, the afternoon sun hitting the blinds and turning them the colour of rust. June has arrived, summertime in full throttle. Baking the Valley into white-hot days that burn the back of Johnny's neck and leaves blisters on his feet.
Even in the shade, with the blinds turned down, Johnny still feels like he's scorching from the inside out.
Usually the heat would turn him sour. Would have him retreating into the pool house back at the mansion or into the garage at Dutch's house to smoke a joint. Maybe he'd stretch out like a cat, sunbathing, until he couldn't stand it anymore, his arms and chest dripping trails of sweat as his mom stood at the door with a martini in her hand, nagging at him to put sunscreen on.
But Johnny can't bring himself to give a shit about the heat. Not when he currently has a lap full of Daniel LaRusso, when they're making out, so wet and sloppy that spit drips between their chins. How can he think about anything else when his hands are gripped around that tiny little waist. How can the heat compare to the sight of Daniel's bare chest, his shoulders soft and buttery brown under Johnny's mouth. Like biting into a caramel apple on the Fourth of July, his flesh so supple against his teeth.
Johnny had been plotting against that skin all day, between classes when he'd watched Daniel bend over at the water fountain down the hallway. Or during gym class, Daniel's shoulders and collarbone exposed in his ratty, too-thin tank top. Johnny stared and thought about sinking bruises, teeth marks, into all that olive skin and had to turn away, breathing hard, trying not to grow a massive fucking hard-on in the middle of class. He could have blamed it on the girls' softball team, but he hadn't even noticed them until Dutch elbowed him hard in the side and asked him which one he wanted to fuck the most. Forcing himself to quickly think of a response, like he'd been eyeing them the entire time. When the truth was, Johnny didn't notice many things when Daniel was around. The other boy sucked up all of his attention like a tornado.
A greedy little tornado that's now on his lap, limbs looped around him so tight Johnny can barely breathe. His long legs tucked up around Johnny's hips, arms strung around his shoulders. His bare chest pressed against Johnny's, sweat sticking them together like saltwater taffy.
Daniel hadn't wasted any time either. The moment they were inside the apartment he was spinning around and pushing up on his tip-toes for a kiss. Nipping at Johnny's bottom lip, as if to punish him for all the time they'd spent apart at school over the past week. Only able to trade glances in the cafeteria or brush their fingers together outside of class. So Johnny felt more than ready for the kiss. Had fallen head-first into it, somehow managing to throw an arm out and slam the door shut before a neighbour could see them, his other arm snaking around Daniel's waist. Snatching Daniel against him so fast he had gasped, a quick flutter of hot breath against his mouth. But then he'd gone limp. Letting Johnny take control. Until, out of nowhere, the little shit brought his hands up to Johnny's chest and pushed him backwards onto the couch.
"What the fuck?" Johnny had said when he landed, glaring up at him. He hated being caught off guard.
But Daniel was climbing onto his lap a second later. Not even pausing to laugh at his outraged expression, or the way he had tripped backwards over his feet. Just clambering onto him like he was desperate for it. Widening his thighs into a slutty arch around Johnny's hips. His mouth a pucker of hot cherry honey. Fingers scratching at Johnny's shoulders, begging Johnny to take his t-shirt off without managing a single word.
Johnny gets it though. Understands the hunger that turns Daniel into this frantic little thing. It's the first time in days that they've been alone, without having to cramp, knocking knees and heads, in the back of Johnny's car. Or making out clumsily behind the bleachers between classes, Daniel digging his sharp little nails into Johnny's back as Johnny slotted his thigh between his legs. Then there were their secret little meetings after school, when they drove out to the lake and between the privacy of the trees, Johnny slid his hands down the back of Daniel's jeans and squeezed his ass, or sucked a mark into the salty skin on the back of his neck, his hand twisting around to palm at Daniel's dick through his jeans. Quickly slipping inside so he could jerk him off until he came, messily, all over his hand, Daniel gasping his name the whole time. Sometimes repeating it so many times Johnny would lose sense of it. Couldn't even think of it as his name anymore, but a sound that had only been made for Daniel.
It was heady, delicious. The biggest high he'd ever had. Better than weed or karate, or any of the times he'd fooled around with Ali. Even better than winning the All-Valley that second time. But there was never enough time. Never enough time to stare at him, to savour it. How he looked and smelled. How beautiful he was when he wasn't being mauled by Johnny's mouth.
"Baby," he says, in a stolen gap between kisses.
Daniel moans but doesn't stop. He loved being called baby.
Baby, sweetheart, darling. All the things girls liked to be called, Daniel loved them. There were other names, ones Johnny wasn't allowed to mention in broad daylight. Things like bitch and pretty pussy and babydoll. Daniel not-so-secretly liked all of those too. Would go crazy when Johnny said them, but deny it later, like he hadn't wantonly rutted against him, his dick growing wet at the tip.
He butts his head to the side, a thread of spit stringing between them as he breaks the kiss. But Daniel doesn't get the hint. Just chases his mouth, his hand warm on Johnny's face, trying to pull him back in.
Johnny rears back before he can get snared again. "Hey," he says, trying not to laugh, "we don't have to go so fast."
Daniel opens his eyes, dazed brown, all pupil, looking confused. "What?"
Johnny flexes his hands around his ass. Feeling the peachy swell of it. "We can go slow, we have time."
Daniel shakes his head, frowning. "We only have a couple of hours, my mom will be home at five."
He cups Johnny's face in his hands and leans in for another kiss. And Johnny can't help but sink into it. Like Daniel's the ocean on a hot day. Feels himself get swallowed up as Daniel slips his tongue into his mouth. Slotting himself against Johnny so tight it feels like they're one person. A sensation that goes straight to his head. That makes him want to push Daniel down to the floor and rut between his legs until he comes.
He pulls away again, ignoring the hurt moan Daniel makes. It's the sound of betrayal, like Johnny had stabbed him in the ribs.
"You're fucking hot for it today," Johnny says, squeezing his fingers around his ass again.
Daniel just murmurs sleepily in response. "Need you," he says, trailing that greedy, wet mouth down his neck. Fastening his mouth on the sensitive spot behind his ear that makes Johnny shiver. Little fucking cheat.
"I get it," he says. "I'm irresistible. I know how much you love blondes."
"Shut up," Daniel huffs in response. "I hate blondes actually. I despise blondes."
That makes Johnny snort. He lets Daniel kiss his neck for a moment longer, then tangles his hand in the back of Daniel's hair and pulls him away. Not so tight that it hurts, but just enough for him to realise that Johnny's being serious. That he's not in the mood to mess around.
"You good?" he asks, taking in the blown-out black of Daniel's eyes. His hair, damp with sweat, clings to his forehead.
He likes to check sometimes. The fucking thing is, they never stopped. Never came up for air. He thought things might have cooled a little by now. That the heated, delirious pace they rubbed up between them might have levelled out since that night in the park, but it never had. As soon as they were alone, it was all teeth and tongue. Pulling out of their t-shirts and jeans as quickly as they could and plastering themselves together. Wanting to kiss, to touch, to taste every part of each other and not stop until they were covered in spit and come.
Daniel blinks. Slow, hazy, like he's just woken up from a dream. "Yeah."
Yeah, he says. Like he wasn't sitting on Johnny's lap looking sweaty and strung-out. Like his ass wasn't rhythmically grinding down on Johnny's dick, the way he always did when he was on the verge of begging for it, a bead of sweat catching against one of his tight little nipples. Usually Johnny would make fun of him for looking like this. Would call him names, make him prickle into goosebumps from embarrassment, his cheeks flushing red. But he just nods instead, drawing his hands back through Daniel's hair.
"Okay," he says, "just tell me if we're going too fast."
Daniel makes a face. "Oh my god, you're so embarrassing."
"What?"
"Tell me if it's too much," he says, his voice going light and soft at the edges, all cartoon California.
Johnny frowns. "Fuck you, I don't sound like a chick."
Daniel looks down at his lap, brows shooting up mockingly. "No, you're definitely not that." His tongue sneaks out, wetting his bottom lip. "I like how you're asking me if I want to slow down, like your dick's not rock hard right now."
And Johnny knows should be embarrassed about that, but he's not. He knows he has a hot body. Knows all the girls at school are practically queuing up to suck him off. Something he might actually have wanted to test out if his dick was interested in anything other than Daniel these days. It's like the other boy had gotten his hands inside him. Rewiring everything Johnny thought he once knew about himself. Since the salt and blood of their first meeting on the beach, Daniel was the only thing he could even think about. Was the only thing he could jerk off to. At night, in his bed as he humped his hand, the only thing that made him come was thinking about Daniel's stupid smile and his long legs and his cute little ass. Peachy and dimpled up, always on display in the tiny shorts he wore to school. Like he was daring Johnny to come take a bite.
He plays it cool, though. Says, "It's adrenaline, LaRusso. I'm an athlete."
Daniel doesn't buy it. "You're a dumb asshole, that's what you are."
Johnny immediately tightens the grip in his hair, making Daniel wince as his neck arches back. Daniel just loved pushing his buttons. Knew where they were, how to press on them all at once, to make Johnny go so red-hot he felt like he was on the verge of exploding. Always pushing, always prodding, always wanting to provoke a reaction from Johnny. Some things never fucking changed.
"Oh yeah? And what are you?"
"I don't know, Johnny," Daniel says lightly, despite the grip in his air. "What am I?"
"A pain in my fucking ass."
That makes Daniel smile. A wide, mischievous grin. "Well what are you going to do about it?"
"Beat you blue," he wants to say. Though it's not like that, not anymore. Johnny hasn't wanted to touch Daniel like that in months. Not since things between them changed. Slipping from their initial violence - the days of holding Daniel down and bloodying his mouth, bruising his skin, getting a thrill from the gunpowder heat of hurting him - into the weeks following the tournament. Those uncertain strings of days, like loose pearls, where they met up in the park. Sharing slices of apple and wine Daniel had stolen from his kitchen. Getting to know each other in fractured, hesitant pieces. Until that night. The night. The one outlined in red at the back of Johnny's head. Kreese. The barn. The knife and all the blood. When they had met in the park and the unspoken thing between them crested into something so bright and overwhelming Johnny couldn't even put it into words. They weren't boyfriends - boys couldn't fucking date - but Daniel was still his. He belonged to Johnny in a way nothing else ever had.
The thought heats his blood. Makes him feel like shedding his skin, going feral, howling at the moon. Like all the nights he paced outside Daniel's bedroom window late last year, nose in the air like he could scent him through the walls. He didn't have to do that shit anymore, Daniel came to him willingly now. But back then, before the tournament, all Johnny could do was follow him everywhere, not knowing why but wanting a taste of him so bad he'd bite down on his bottom lip until it split. Pretending the blood in his mouth was his.
Maybe it was fucked up, wanting things like that. Johnny didn't know anymore. Didn't know what was right when it came to Daniel. All he knew was he felt like he was dying when they weren't together, like he could only breathe when their hands and mouths were connected.
He lets go of Daniel's hair. But before Daniel can shift on his lap or press in for another kiss, he slides his hand around to Daniel's throat. Drapes his fingers and thumb around it. Not really thinking about it, just wanting to feel Daniel's pulse under all that thin skin.
Daniel's breath goes flinty, but he doesn't try to pull away. Just stares at Johnny, that pink mouth falling open on a silent pant.
Point, Lawrence, he thinks, trying not to smirk, eyeing the veins in Daniel's neck. So delicate, like rivers of blue honeycomb.
"What should I do?" he says. "Maybe I'll get you to suck my dick."
Daniel makes a shocked little noise. His throat trembles like a flower stem.
They've done that a few times already. Make-out sessions that led to clumsy blowjobs. Where Daniel pushed down between Johnny's legs and pawed at his zipper until Johnny pulled his cock out and brought it to Daniel's mouth, watching as Daniel's tongue peeked out shyly to lick at the tip. Not that Daniel was very good at it. Couldn't get much of him inside without gagging and having to sit back, looking annoyed with himself like it was a test he'd failed, before pressing back in to try again. But it didn't matter because it still made Johnny crazy. Because his mouth was still tight and sloppy-wet, and Johnny couldn't even look at Daniel stretching his lips around his dick, that determined expression on his face, without coming so hard he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. Something Daniel would complain about afterwards, wiping the back of his hand against his mouth as he sat back on his heels. Even if he did swallow Johnny's load every time. Eyelashes fluttering, like he loved the taste.
"Or maybe I just won't let you come," Johnny says, tapping his thumb against Daniel's throat. "Maybe I'll just get dressed and leave you here, and tell you not to touch yourself or come for a week."
Daniel frowns at him, some of that dreaminess ebbing out of his eyes. "You wouldn't."
"Try me then."
"If you don't let me come, jackass, I'll never speak to you again."
Johnny can't help but grin. "Fucking liar. You're obsessed with me."
Daniel's mouth falls open. "I'm obsessed with you? Oh, buddy, if that's what you think, you're in for a rude awakening."
"Shut up, Daniel," he says, and for once, Daniel actually does. The indignation dying in his throat like Johnny had flicked off a light switch.
The automatic obedience of it makes his dick jolt, painfully, where it's trapped beneath his zipper. He ignores it for now - part of him maybe liking the harsh lick of it - and lowers his head to kiss Daniel on the neck, just above the iron collar of his hand. Daniel's pulse beats hard against his fingers and he fans them out, lathing his tongue between them to get him wet. Daniel moans at the feeling of it, but Johnny ignores him. Pulls his lips back to scrape his teeth against Daniel's throat, listening to the way his breath hitches, his hands twitching against Johnny's thighs.
"Good boy," Johnny whispers when Daniel doesn't try to pull away.
He kisses his way up that long neck. Bites at Daniel's jawline, frothing over at the way he quivers.
"Johnny," Daniel breathes, sounding drunk and broken. "Kiss me."
"Not right now," he says against all that golden salty skin.
A flash across his face, like an angry kitten. "Why? Come on, Johnny, kiss me."
"I said no."
The snapping sound of it makes Daniel quieten down. He sulks, his bottom lip pushing up. "You're so mean."
"Yeah, yeah. You like me mean."
Daniel flicks his eyes up at the ceiling, but doesn't deny it. Doesn't deny all the times he went soft when Johnny shoved him up against a wall or a fence, going lax like a puppy when Johnny tightened his hand on the back of his neck. Johnny just thought it was a reflex at the time, survival instinct kicking in, telling him to play dead until Johnny got bored of him. But now he's not too sure. Not sure if Daniel had moaned, his breath spiking, becoming shallow, because of how scared he was, or if it was because of something else. If maybe he had liked it.
With one last kiss at his jawline, Johnny leans back against the coach. Finally drops the hand at Daniel's throat and places it back at his waist. Where he's so small Johnny's hands almost meet in the centre. So tiny and breakable, Johnny thinks he could snap him in two like a twig or a barbie doll. He traces his thumbs across his ribcage, skimming in a way that won't tickle. Then brings his hands higher. Rubs the pads of his thumbs across Daniel's chest, over his nipples, where they've pebbled up hard like lickable caramel candies.
"You're so pretty," he breathes.
Because Daniel was. So fucking pretty it made him insane. He used to think no one could be prettier than Ali, but then Daniel had come into his life with his huge brown eyes and his long legs and his creamy skin. Tanned all over even in the winter, like some catalogue model. Now no one could compare. Girls talked to Johnny at school but he didn't even see them. Would mutter something in response and leave them standing there, forlorn, by lockers and open doorways to classrooms, while Johnny walked away, hoping to catch a glimpse of Daniel before the bell rang.
Daniel flushes hot at the compliment. "No I'm not."
"Yeah you are. You're my pretty baby."
"Stop, you're so weird."
Johnny noses at his chin. "Say it, come on."
Daniel hesitates, pressing his tongue against the skin under his bottom lip, like he always did when he was embarrassed. And Johnny knows why. It was easy to say these things under the cover of night, when Johnny couldn't see his face. Easy to bare his neck and call himself Johnny's baby, his boy, the fucked-up thing between them blooming into something so intense it made Johnny's teeth itch. But here, in the heat and the daylight, with nowhere to hide, he closed up, turned tentative and shy.
But then, in a quick rush of breath, he says, "I'm your pretty baby."
Satisfaction hits Johnny. Unfurls through him, making everything feel right, slotting tangibly into place.
"That's right," Johnny says. He fans his fingers against Daniel's chest, right over his heart. "I thought so the first moment I saw you. That night on the beach. You were so beautiful. I thought you were a girl, no way could a guy be that pretty."
"Maybe if you'd just told me instead of beating me up, things could have been different."
"Yeah, well, I'm a dumb asshole right?"
Daniel laughs. "Yeah. A hot, dumb asshole." He looks at him under his lashes. "A hot, dumb asshole with a nice dick."
Johnny reaches out to thumb at his bottom lip. The lower swell of it so pink, like candy or fruit, always puffed up from the constant kissing.
"You know you talk about my dick a lot? Someone might think you have a problem."
Daniel nips at him playfully, scraping the pad of his thumb with his canine. "Maybe you should do something with it then."
Johnny hums, thinking about it. Though only in an abstract way. He never really let himself think about fucking Daniel when they were together like this. Knew it wouldn't end in anything other than the two of them on the floor, Johnny's dick stretching him open. And Johnny couldn't let that be Daniel's first time. Had to do it somewhere where he'd be comfortable. When they had built up to it, so he wouldn't split apart from the first push of Johnny's cock inside him. Remembers how it felt taking Ali's virginity and knows that he has to be even more careful with Daniel.
"You think you could handle it?" he asks, still rubbing his thumb against Daniel's mouth.
Daniel's tongue peeks out to swirl around it. "I think so," he says. "I think you should make me try."
Make him. He says it coyly, a tease and a challenge, not knowing how vulnerable he was. How easy it would be for Johnny to tear him apart.
Johnny's mind spins back, to the fantasy from that night, when he had pressed Daniel down into the grass beneath him. The fantasy of sinking inside Daniel. Of cracking him open like a hollow candy, a sugar bird's egg, and burrowing himself deep inside. Wanting to suck on his ribs. Taste his bone marrow. Dipping his head to kiss the network of veins connected to his heart. Just the thought of it - the kind of fantasy he only let himself think about late at night when he's in bed fucking his fist, biting down on his pillow to stifle his moans - has him sliding his hand to the back of Daniel's neck, where he pulls him in for a kiss. So fast and hard Daniel falls against him, gasping when their teeth clack together. A spot of blood blooms on his bottom lip where it snags against Johnny's tooth, but Johnny just licks it away, savouring the hot copper taste of him.
They make out again, their tongues meeting hungrily between their open mouths. As Daniel melts against him, Johnny slides his fingers up into the seat of his shorts. Right over that spot. Imagines Daniel's little virgin hole blossoming open. All pink and untouched. They hadn't done anything like that yet but Johnny thinks, soon, soon soon, the word beating inside him. Daniel wants it too. Has shyly asked Johnny if he thinks about it while they've been fooling around. About how tight he'd feel. Asking, in a vixen-soft way that's too innocent to be pretend, if Johnny would even fit inside him. If they'd have to spend a long time stretching Daniel out, opening him up for Johnny's cock. Once admitting that he's wanted Johnny inside him ever since they met. That even last year, before the tournament, he touched himself down there sometimes, imagining he was opening himself up for Johnny's dick. A confession that had Johnny immediately shooting his load. Emptying his balls all over Daniel's soft stomach.
He pulls back to lick at Daniel's mouth. "Take your pants off," he murmurs. "I want you naked."
Daniel looks at him, even more dazed than before, a prick of blood smeared on his bottom lip. "Huh? What about you?"
"No, just you."
Daniel exhales shakily. They hadn't really talked about this. This thing they had, where Johnny was in charge and Daniel did as he was told. Johnny didn't know what to call it, if it even had a name. But they both liked it. Fell into it as soon as they were alone like this, even if Daniel could push against it sometimes, get loud and bratty, testing his limits. At least until Johnny put him in his place again. Made him go soft and pliant. Doing everything that Johnny said, letting himself be positioned and pulled around like a pretty little doll.
"You're awfully pushy, mister," he says, but he's already pulling away, clambering off Johnny's lap.
He stands in front of Johnny, his fingers clumsy at his waistband as he flicks open the top button and pulls down his zipper. Then, without even stopping, pushes his shorts and underwear down. Leaving the long, tanned stretch of his naked body on display for Johnny's eyes. He's hard, his cute dick pressed up against the flat plane of his belly, and Johnny's mouth waters, wanting the taste of his come. Wanting Daniel pulling at his hair, his thighs quivering around Johnny's face as he comes in the back of his throat.
Daniel looks at him shyly, folding an arm across his chest. "Don't tell me you wanted a striptease."
"No, I'm just surprised you're not wearing your dino panties today. Mommy didn't have them ready for you in time?"
Daniel's expression sears into outrage, fists bunching at his sides. "You're such a fucking jerk."
"I'm joking," he says, before he can get kicked in the face. "Come here, you're perfect."
Daniel still looks mad, but does as he's told. Is back in Johnny's lap less than a second later.
And this time, Johnny doesn't resist. He puts his hands on every inch of him, from the thin, delicate skin at his hips to the plush velvet on the inside of his thighs, and then finally back round to grab his ass. That round, soft ass Daniel had used to drive him crazy for so many months. Grinding it down against his jeans, as Daniel's dick smears wet against his stomach. He's about to come. Johnny can tell from the jerky movement of his hips. The desperate little noises he's making in Johnny's mouth. And he wants him to. He wants Daniel to rut against his stomach until he loses it. Until he comes all over Johnny's chest. Maybe Johnny will tell him to lick it off. Can imagine that tongue against his skin, licking up every strand of his own come and then looking at Johnny's hard-on and asking for more. Like a kitten who's gotten fat on cream.
He's so lost in the fantasy, he doesn't notice at first when Daniel tugs at his hand. Not until Daniel's looped it around his throat.
Johnny pulls back, breaking the kiss. "Huh? What is it?"
Daniel's eyes slide to the wall behind his head. "It's just... I like it," he says, cheeks blossoming red.
"Like what?"
And then he realises. Daniel likes the feeling of Johnny's hand on him.
A queasy feeling whips through him. It takes him back to the night of the tournament. The feeling of Kreese's meaty forearm around his neck, squeezing the air out of him in the parking lot, his hot breath in his ear, telling him what a useless piece of shit he was. Even in the moment Johnny had felt the bond between them rupturing, lying strangled and bloodied, at Johnny's feet. He thinks about how his neck had been dark with bruises for weeks afterwards. The endless days where he could barely talk. His vocal chords so damaged it hurt to make a sound.
Was he like that? Was he just like Kreese? After everything he tried to do, trying to blot him out, cancel everything he did to them like throwing black paint at a red canvas, was he just like him after all?
But he couldn't be, right? Because Daniel wanted this. He was asking Johnny for it. Asking with those huge brown eyes, and his ass in his lap, asking because he wanted him and trusted him, and because he knew deep down that he belonged to Johnny.
Daniel blinks at him, his eyes growing wide and concerned. "Is it okay? We don't have to-"
He cuts off when Johnny tightens his hand. Just a little, but it sets Daniel off, bucking in his lap, his dick jerking wet against Johnny's stomach. Moaning so loud the neighbours can probably hear him through the thin walls.
"Quiet," Johnny hisses at him. "Do you want someone to hear you whining like a little bitch?"
That just makes Daniel moan louder. "Tighter," he pleads, "please, Johnny, please, I need it."
So Johnny does. Tightening his grip even more until he feels all of Daniel's sensitive little tendons under his hand.
"Fuck," he says in a rush of breath, feeling his pulse pound in the tip of his dick. "You really like that?"
Daniel nods, looking broken, like a toy that had been dropped to the floor. "Yes," he says, or as much as he can with Johnny's hand around him. His lashes flutter as his eyes roll back and Johnny feels so fucking powerful he might split out of his skin. Doesn't know if he can wait to fuck him after all, if maybe this is how they should do it, Daniel inching himself down on his dick with Johnny's hand around his neck.
"Okay," Johnny says, swiping his tongue against his bottom lip. "But I'm only doing this to you because you're mine. No one else ever gets to do this to you, all right? I'll kill anyone who touches you like this. Tell me you understand."
Daniel's eyes go even wider, but he nods. "I understand. No one gets to touch me like this but you."
Johnny nods. He pulls Daniel in by the neck and kisses him, gently this time, says, "I want you to come now. Come for me, just like this."
Daniel does, coming a minute later with Johnny's hand around his throat, his mouth open on a soft scream. And Johnny feels it. Can feel something sacred and bone-deep growing in the honey-stick of their sweat and all the heated breath between them, when Daniel trembles and says, "Johnny," as he comes, his name swelling inside his mouth like wildfire, thighs locked around his hips so hard it feels like it's bruising. He looks so beautiful it hurts and it cuts Johnny down the middle. And Johnny's not stupid. He knows he's not worth shit. That he's good for nothing. But when Daniel opens his eyes and looks at him, murmuring his name like it's something precious, Johnny wants so badly, just for a second, to believe it.