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Considering that his dorm room was nothing short of a kindergarten, it was no wonder Ibara occasionally escaped to the flat he was renting on the mainland. It was small and overpriced but it did the job as a hideout. Somewhere he could have some privacy or, as it was the case that day, somewhere he could have some privacy with a certain someone.
Standing at the entrance, he took his shoes off with one hand while trying not to rattle the heavy paper bag he was clutching against his chest and made his way inside, to the open kitchen. The faint sound of water running in the bathroom made a mischievous smile creep up to his face. Carefully placing the paper bag on the counter, he went to the sink, turned the tap to hot water and washed his hands without waiting for it to warm up. He didn't turn it off once he was done either. Instead, he moved on to leisurely removing his jacket, tie, watch... Until he heard his name being yelled inside the bathroom, muffled but the sentiment got through.
Proud as a cat that had knocked a pot off a shelf, he turned the tap off and headed for the bathroom.
Yuzuru was just getting out when Ibara opened the door and immediately stepped to the side to dodge the stream of water coming his way.
“Welcome home, Ibara,” Yuzuru's sweet tone carried an undercurrent of Welcome home, fucker.
“Hello, Yuzuru.” Hello, fellow bastard. Ibara’s tone returned the feeling.
Only after hearing Yuzuru put the showerhead back, Ibara peeked inside. Displeasure was as evident on Yuzuru’s face as it was fake. He put on his bathrobe, pushed his wet hair back and stepped out without breaking eye contact with Ibara. Then, as he was passing him by, raised his wet hand to flick a few droplets of water onto Ibara’s face, making him reflexively close his eyes and after a moment, sigh out his defeat.
Ibara wiped his face with his hands and followed Yuzuru into the bedroom. Although it was technically Ibara’s house, Yuzuru knew his way around Ibara’s belongings as if they were laundry he had folded himself. Some of it was laundry he had folded himself. He picked out Ibara’s favourite tracksuit to put on.
Their comfortable silence was broken with a seemingly random offer from Ibara.
“Would you like a drink?”
After a moment of consideration, Yuzuru answered.
“I am reluctant to give an answer to that with such little information.”
An answer Ibara had foreseen. He chuckled at Yuzuru’s suspicion nonetheless and made his way to the kitchen. This time it was Yuzuru who followed behind.
“It’s just red wine.” Ibara took out a large bottle from the paper bag he had placed on the counter earlier, alongside two glasses still in their packaging and a corkscrew.
“It’s not poisoned. You can check the seal for yourself.” Ibara handed the bottle to Yuzuru.
“What a roundabout way of saying you don’t know how to open it.”
“Iー” Ibara opened his mouth to argue but promptly shut up when he saw the smug smile on Yuzuru’s face.
“Admit it or I won’t open it.”
It still took Ibara a couple of seconds to swallow his pride.
“I don’t know how to open it. Are you satisfied?”
“Very much.” Yuzuru beamed and started working on the capsule and the cork with practised ease.
“Do you mind if I ask what made you suddenly feel like drinking?”
Ibara placed the glasses he was done unpacking in front of Yuzuru and watched him pour a respectable amount of wine into both of them.
“An acute loss of better judgement,” Ibara answered with a distant tone and took the glass Yuzuru handed him with a mumbled ‘thank you’.
Yuzuru had none of his previous self-satisfaction when he gently approached Ibara and lifted his chin to meet his gaze. Their glasses made the faintest clanking sound when Yuzuru leant in for a kiss.
“Then I’m glad you decided to lose it with me.” Yuzuru’s wording managed to pull a dry chuckle from Ibara’s lips.
Unsatisfied with the brief contact, Ibara pulled Yuzuru down for a deeper kiss, his grip on his T-shirt failing to match Yuzuru’s earlier elegance.
Then that same hand slid under the garment, fingertips moving against Yuzuru’s skin with purpose. Ibara quickly found the scar he was looking for and traced it with one finger. There was the slightest hint of vulnerability in Ibara’s voice when he broke the kiss and mumbled.
“It would only be one of my many firsts with you.”
The unusually honest remark made a smile bloom on Yuzuru’s face. He put his free hand on Ibara’s head and pulled him closer,
“And I’m grateful. For every single one.”
They stayed like that, with Ibara’s face against Yuzuru’s neck for a while, until Ibara pulled back with an inhale as if he had just surfaced. He could feel Yuzuru’s gaze on him while he eyed the glass in his hand. Yuzuru’s observation was correct. Ibara never drank. Not out of any sort of religious or moral obligation. His reason was much more down to earth: His defences could not allow having his mental clarity reduced.
Yuzuru watched as Ibara brought the glass to his lips, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he took a sip.
Good thing then he was with the only person against whom his defences were meaningless anyway.
He glanced at Yuzuru then back into his drink, lightly leaning onto the kitchen counter and trying to make up his mind about what he wanted to say. How much he wanted to say.
The burning of a second gulp made it easier to decide. He grabbed the bottle and sat on the floor with his back to the counter. A casual gesture but its weight was not lost on Yuzuru. He followed Ibara down with his untouched glass in hand.
“Did you know that I hate alcohol?” Ibara took another sip. Really should have picked something sweeter.
“I had a feeling you do.”
“Those pigs in the military were so fond of this shit.” A mouthful this time. “It doesn’t even taste good.”
Yuzuru was not sure how he wanted to reply, how much he wanted to prod. He could almost see the thorns starting to twist around Ibara’s words. He would rather tackle them before they got entangled.
Then he remembered the message he received that afternoon.
Don’t wait for me, this meeting is going to take longer than I expected. You still have the spare keys, right?
A suspicion that felt heavy in his stomach. His eyes darted to Ibara’s clothes in an attempt to confirm or, ideally, debunk his suspicion. Ibara had already taken his tie off but his dress shirt was buttoned all the way up, neatly, cuffs likewise. His hair obscured either side of his neck so Yuzuru had no luck there either.
Yuzuru was about to open his mouth when Ibara reached to the side to grab the bottle and pour more wine into his emptied glass, the hem of his sleeve riding up as he did so. Although it was exactly what he was searching for, it did not make Yuzuru’s chest tighten any less when he saw the pinkish patch of skin around Ibara’s wrist.
His silent investigation must have fallen short of subtlety, as Ibara’s eyes had followed his sightline and were now staring straight into his eyes that were filled with pain born of sympathy.
Ibara was not particularly rough while he put the bottle down but the sound of glass hitting marble was still deafening in the silence.
"Different hell, all the same pigs." He spoke into his glass.
Ibara was starting to get used to the taste and the warmth that was spreading throughout his body. Maybe starting to get a little too warm. He briefly put his glass down to roll his sleeves up, flashing bruise after bruise as he did so.
"Can you believe I thought having money and status would make a difference?" He giggled and leant to the side to clink his glass against Yuzuru's and downed its contents. "When we're still nothing but kids in their eyes."
"Ibara..."
"Hmm~?" He was filling his glass again.
"Is that why you wanted to drink?"
Ibara stared into the distance for a second, eyebrows furrowed. He was having difficulty focusing his vision.
"Partially. From what I have seen, it allows you to stop thinking. I have been thinking so~ hard to keep their filthy hands off me but those sons of bitches find a way."
Ibara was downing glass after glass, unaware that Yuzuru had taken but one sip.
"Year after year, the same story... But it's fine. It's my fault for being easy."
"Do not say that!" Yuzuru's voice came out harsher than he intended.
He wasn't expecting it to make Ibara giggle like he did, though.
"I'm just kidding. I don't really think that. I think they deserve to burn in hell." Ibara finished his glass and attempted to fill it once again, only to find the bottle emptied to the last drop.
"I'm impressed that you still have the wits to lie when you're drunk."
Yuzuru's comment only made Ibara giggle more.
"I'm not that drunk. I'm like..." He squinted and made a pinching gesture with his fingers, "...this drunk."
Ibara took his glasses off, they weren't helping with correcting his vision anyway, and crawled towards Yuzuru.
"I love it when you're angry and your jaw does that thing." Ibara's fingers traced Yuzuru's jawline. "You look like a dog ready to attack."
Predicting Ibara's next move, Yuzuru tried to put his glass down but against his expectation, Ibara snatched it from his hand and swallowed its contents down in a few hungry gulps before setting it down on the ground and proceeding with his initial plan of straddling Yuzuru's thighs.
Amused by the scene that had just unfolded before him, Yuzuru's curled lips parted but before he could voice whatever cheeky remark he had in mind, Ibara took his face in his hands and leant in for a hungry kiss that Yuzuru returned equally as eagerly.
When their lips parted, Yuzuru had changed his mind about his response.
"Are you done toying with this dog's feelings?"
"Mm~ For now, yeah." Ibara gave Yuzuru another kiss, then another, on the corner of his lips, on his jaw. A series of pure affection unheard of him.
"It's just that I find it... fascinating... that you feel so much pain when I tell you about these things."
"How sadistic of you to tell me about them knowing that."
"Haven't found anyone else I can speak to yet." Ibara's voice didn't carry the sadness his words suggested.
"Ibara, I'm always here to listen but I'm certain there are others who would gladly come to your help if you would just let them."
Ibara made a move to kiss Yuzuru's lips but stopped one breath away to say something that made Yuzuru's stomach flip like it hasn't since their first kiss all those years ago.
"I can't trust any of them like I trust Mister Instructor."
Yuzuru's attempt at a reply quickly dissolved into a whine between Ibara's lips. His hands found their way to either side of Ibara’s hips in an attempt to pull him closer. Ibara happily obliged and moved his hips forward but then yelped into the kiss when a feeling of urgency sliced through the thick fog in his mind.
Concerned by how tense Ibara’s body had suddenly become, Yuzuru pulled back.
“Is something wrong?”
Ibara stared at Yuzuru’s face for a moment like he was seeing it for the first time.
“I need to go.” Unwilling to get up from his comfy seat, Ibara’s voice came out pouty.
“Do you need help standing up?”
Ibara shook his head no, then furrowed his brows at his mistake. He waited for his world to stop spinning and buried his face in Yuzuru’s neck.
“I really need to go.” Ibara repeated with a whisper and lightly ground his hips, the pressure in his bladder now much less unpleasant than he was expecting it.
“I could carry you to the bathroom?” Yuzuru offered with a hint of nervousness in his voice. This was new territory for both of them and he didn’t want to misinterpret Ibara’s words.
Ibara’s response came in the form of a whine then a giggle, followed by a nip at Yuzuru's earlobe.
“I would rather do it here.” Ibara whispered as if he was giving a company secret.
Yuzuru held Ibara’s shoulders and slowly pushed him back so that he could meet his gaze.
“You’re drunk, Ibara. Do you realise where we are?”
Ibara gave an affirmative hum with a coy smile on his face.
“Yeah, I’m drunk, I’m sitting on your lap and I want to piss all over your thighs.” He rocked his hips and whimpered when his bladder throbbed. “You are always immaculate... No room for accidents, not a single stain in sight...”
“Should I thank you for the compliment?” Yuzuru was more comfortable now that Ibara had made his intention clear.
“It’s not a compliment.” Ibara’s frown was rather cute coupled with the blush tinting his cheeks. “It's annoying. I want to ruin it.”
He grabbed Yuzuru’s T-shirt and leant in for a kiss, voice calmer when their lips parted.
“Let me ruin you. Just for tonight.”
Ibara’s request made Yuzuru’s lips curl into a soft smile. He cupped Ibara’s warm cheek,
“You have already ruined me for a lifetime. Are you asking for permission now?” He whispered against Ibara’s wet lips before he reached for his belt to unbuckle it, Ibara’s eyes following his hands in confusion.
There was a moment of silence while they stared into each other’s eyes before Yuzuru continued with a more mischievous smile,
“Go on then.”
And tightened Ibara’s belt.
Despite his earlier resolve, Ibara’s lips parted with a gasp, his instincts trying to press his legs together, even though it was futile with how he was straddling Yuzuru’s thighs.
“Aw, what’s wrong? I thought you wanted to wet yourself?”
Ibara scoffed at the mocking question. Oh how quickly Yuzuru switched to his cheeky act.
“Do that again.” Ibara bit his lip. “Slower.”
Yuzuru happily indulged him and started to slowly tighten Ibara’s belt, taking more pleasure than he expected in watching desperation bloom on Ibara’s face. It was a nice thought, knowing now he had something other than pain in his arsenal to use to make Ibara squirm.
Ibara closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath at how his bladder throbbed, begging to be emptied. He unconsciously grabbed at Yuzuru’s T-shirt, bunching the fabric in his fists and spread his legs farther apart. He never knew teetering on the brink of bursting could feel this wonderful.
Lost in his little experiment, Ibara failed to notice how intently Yuzuru was watching his every move, mesmerised by the sight of someone as reserved as Ibara losing himself completely on his own volition.
Eager to see more, Yuzuru swiftly took Ibara’s belt off and popped open the button of his trousers, followed by the zipper and his shirt was pushed up too, all before Ibara could register what was happening.
When Ibara noticed air hitting his now exposed and slightly bulging belly, Yuzuru already had his hands on either side of his hips, thumbs extending towards his navel.
He met Yuzuru’s eyes with a silent plea when he understood what he was planning. Before he could voice it, though, Yuzuru was pressing down on his bladder, making Ibara clench his teeth in one last attempt to hold it in but he was quick to understand its futility. A shaky moan fell from his lips, half in defeat, half from the mind-numbing relief.
Yuzuru stopped pressing down when he understood that Ibara was past the point of fighting and focused on watching him instead, observing how his eyes fluttered closed when he saw the dark patch growing on his crotch. Overwhelmed, Ibara grabbed onto Yuzuru’s shoulders, eyes still closed and softly moaning between bitten, parted lips.
Yuzuru could only hold back for so long before he captured them in a kiss. Ibara kept moaning into his mouth, rocking his hips, focused only on letting go and the resulting warmth spreading all over his thighs. It wasn’t long before the same warmth reached Yuzuru’s legs, seeping through one layer of fabric into another.
Yuzuru felt like he should be bothered by the mess Ibara was making. The metaphorical warmth in his chest might have been from undiluted love but the literal warmth on his lap was urine after all. Although, it was difficult to follow that logic when Ibara broke their kiss and pressed his feverish forehead against Yuzuru's, eyes still shut tight and out of breath, and thanked him.
A shaky, genuine 'Thank you', the type Yuzuru usually heard only when Ibara was coming down after a scene.
Not that what Ibara was going through was any different from coming down.
"Anytime, Ibara." Yuzuru gave the shivering boy in his arms a kiss.
It took Ibara a while to recover. After a moment of silence, an awkward giggle left his lips.
“Did I just piss on you?”
“Yes, I believe you did.”
“And you let me...” Ibara couldn’t believe he was sitting on Yuzuru’s lap, soaked in his rapidly cooling piss. “Mister clean freak let me do that?”
“Don’t try your luck, Ibara.”
Ibara pulled back to look at Yuzuru in the eyes, although he was still having trouble focusing his vision.
“Are you disgusted with me?” Ibara’s tone suggested rather it was him disgusted with himself.
Yuzuru smiled before he pulled Ibara in for a gentle kiss.
“I am as disgusted with you as I have always been.”
Ibara let out a sigh of relief. “Mm~ I despise you too~”