Chapter Text
Jimin's cheek rested against Yoongi's shoulder and he looked into his eyes. Yoongi looked so... wonderful. And he'd probably kick his ass if he knew what he was thinking about him right now.
Gently, he let his hands slide over his friend's white shirt and started undoing its buttons. He started at the top one on his neck, working his way down. A smile played around his seductive kissing mouth as his fingers slid under the fabric. Yoongi's skin was so soft and warm. Jimin let his fingers slide over his chest. The muscles twitched, each of his touches as light as a feather.
His fingertips sought their way down to his hyung's well-toned belly, the sight of which was so outrageously sexy that it nearly blew his mind every time. Yoongi sighed and closed his eyes as Jimin's fingers circled his belly button. The latter bit his lip. He felt the fine hairs that finally guided his hand to the edge of his boxers.
YOU'RE NOTHING!
Jimin stopped. What was he doing? He pushed away the burgeoning memory of his past and let his fingers slide further down, just a bit below the waistband. A soft moan came from Yoongi's lips.
His hand continued to wander south. He watched the jeans tighten around his friend's erection. He wanted this. He could do this! He pressed his lips tightly together and held his breath as he slowly unzipped the jeans. His hands trembled as he felt the light fabric of the boxers. His fingertips brushed over Yoongi's manhood. Another groan escaped the older man as he now slid under the offending fabric. God, why hadn't they done this more honorably? Jimin sat up and leaned over his Hyung. His fingers closed around Yoongi's member and his tongue ran over the velvety skin of his chest.
For a moment he circled his nipples, which hardened as he gently ran his teeth over them. Smiling, Jimin slid higher, feeling Yoongi's hot breath against his lips. "Jimin-ssi," escaped those softly.
He put his lips to his, letting his tongue wander between them. Yoongi returned the kiss and began sucking on Jimin's tongue as it gently ran over his own. The younger felt his own arousal now pressing painfully against Yoongi's hip. It felt so good. So right.
OPEN YOUR MOUTH... YOU HAVE TO BREATHE EVENTUALLY!
Jimin broke the kiss, squinted, and then kissed his way down Yoongi's neck, along his chest, across his stomach, finally stopping at his belly button. His fingers wrapped around the jeans and he slowly pulled them down, over his legs, until they finally fell to the floor. Yoongi was so perfect! Gently, he stroked the latter's legs. Then he took his member in his hand again and watched his reaction. Yoongi closed his eyes with pleasure.
Slowly, Jimin moved his hand. From top to bottom and back. He circled his thumb over the soft tip every now and then. He watched as red spots slowly formed on Yoongi's neck, showing him how aroused he was. He wanted to look away, but was paralyzed as he continued in his rhythm. For a brief moment, Witos face appeared in front of him. But he shook his head and looked back into the face of his Hyung. Then he leaned his head down, looked up at Yoongi once more, and then began to encircle his member with his mouth.
"Oh God!" came from the older man and he pressed his head back into the pillow. "Jimin."
Jimin smiled and felt his fingers tangle in his hair. Gently at first, but then Yoongi gripped harder, pushing his hips further and further toward him, pressing deeper and harder into his mouth.
Jimin felt his member touch his throat. Yoongi was breathing hard. And suddenly, he let go of Jimin. "Jiminie... oh god... Stop!Stop!" He lifted his head from the pillow. "Jimin... I can't... no, stop, please..."
Jimin's tongue ran over his glans. Another moan and Yoongi came in his mouth, hot and intense. Yoongi's body shuddered, he fell back into the pillows and his hands gripped tightly into the covers.
The dancer felt a jolt go through him and in seconds he felt bad. He shouldn't have done this! Frantically, he slid away from his Hyung and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Yoongi looked at him worriedly and tried to pull on his boxers. Then he slid closer to the younger man, who had retreated all the way to the foot of the bed. "Jiminie?" he asked anxiously, seeking eye contact. "Are you okay?"
Jimin stared at his feet. He had pulled his legs close to his torso. "I shouldn't have done that!" he muttered, wrapping his arms around his legs and then rocking back and forth. "You told me to stop..." he whimpered.
Three whole months. Three months had passed since Wito had been out of their lives, since Jimin had been living in his own house again. Time in which he tried to process all the things that had happened to him. He tried to work as best he could, to act like the old Park Jimin. He had even been to a karaoke bar with the boys once. However, he had not left Yoongi's side one bit. The latter had pulled him close and given him support. He had never felt so protected.
Yes, he and Yoongi were a couple. It wasn't official yet, as Jimin was afraid of the Armys' reactions. He felt more comfortable when only he, the boys, and Big Hit knew. And he was assured of their support. Family stuck together.
Three months. And Yoongi was so patient and full of understanding. He didn't push Jimin to do anything and took care of him. And in the end, Jimin had messed everything up again.
Now he was sitting at the end of the bed and Yoongi was kneeling in front of him. "Jiminie-ah, it was okay that you didn't stop! I didn't mean it in that way, I just didn't want to scare you! I didn't want...well, cum in your mouth!" Yoongi tried to look into Jimin's eyes, which seemed fixed at one point on the carpet.
"I'm like him." he muttered softly. "I don't want to be like him, though!" A single tear ran down his cheek.
Yoongi felt like his heart was going to burst. How had it all started so beautifully and then gone so terribly wrong? "Jimin." He put his hand on the latter's shoulder. "You're not like him, and you never will be! And do you know why?"
Now the younger man looked at him warily. "Why?" he asked softly.
Yoongi put his hand on Jimin's chest, where his heart was. "Because you have a heart! You're the most loving person I know and you would never hurt anyone on purpose!"
"Are you serious?" he asked hesitantly.
"I know you. I'd put my hand in the fire for that."
Jimin searched Yoongi's eyes for sincerity. And he found it. It practically shone at him, mixed with love and concern. He smiled.
"Everything's okay again?" asked Yoongi with relief, kissing his forehead. Jimin shook his head. "Why? What is it?" the older man asked, concerned.
But a small smile played around the corners of Jimin's mouth. "I'm really hungry..." He put on his puppy dog eyes that drove Yoongi out of his mind every time. The elder looked at him dumbfounded for a moment, then grinned and rolled his eyes. "Figures!" he laughed. "Come with me, puppy eyes! I'll feed you..." he said with a meaningful look.
Jimin grinned back. "Sounds good..."
After Yoongi cooked something to fill up his cute puppy, they both lay on the couch in the living room. He was lying with his back against the backrest, Jimin in front of him.
They had a wool blanket thrown over them and Yoongi held his friend close to his torso. His arms had wrapped around his chest and his hand rested on Jimin's chest. The dancer loved being so close to his Hyung. He loved feeling the warmth against his back. And he loved how they just fit together. Like two puzzle pieces that were meant for each other. How long had he longed for this and now that it was a reality, it seemed like a dream. A dream from which he never wanted to wake up again. He would have loved to stop time and just stay in this embrace forever. The pleasant body warmth that arose between the two finally let him fall asleep.
Yoongi noticed that his friend's breathing became calmer and more even. He grinned and pulled the blanket a little higher so he wouldn't get cold. For a moment he watched the talk show on TV, then he too had to yawn. He buried his face in Jimin's neck and kissed him gently. Then he pulled him a little closer and finally he too fell into a peaceful sleep.
At first Yoongi didn't know why he was awake. Tired, he opened his eyes. It had already become dark. An ancient black and white movie was playing on the television. Suddenly he felt Jimin moving restlessly back and forth. Sweat was on his forehead and he had squeezed his eyes tightly shut. "Please... stop... don't touch me!" he muttered in his sleep and Yoongi knew he was having a nightmare. "Ssshhh... Jimin... calm down, it's okay, it's just a dream.... a dream...", he tried to calm him down. But Jimin didn't seem to be remotely aware of him. Instead, he started lashing out and Yoongi had to dodge, startled. "NO!" the younger yelled, trying to throw the imaginary person off of him. "No!.. Don't!... Yoongi!!!" he screamed .
Yoongi looked at him, startled. He had shouted his name. Was that what he had done when Wito had raped him? Had he screamed for him?
Asked him for help? "Jimin!" he said as calmly as he could, shaking him by the shoulder. "Come on! Wake up!" When he touched his friend, Jimin widened his eyes in fright. "Don't touch me!" he yelled, wincing so much that he fell off the couch and landed on the floor.
"Careful!" said Yoongi in shock, and tried to reach out for him, but Jimin batted it away and slid backwards across the floor until his back hit the shelf where a small collectible figurine toppled over and fell to the floor. His eyes were wide and Yoongi could quite clearly see the panic in them. "It's me, I won't hurt you!" he said, slowly getting up to walk towards him.
Jimin looked at him for a moment, confused. It was as if he was still stuck in his dream. "Yoongi?" he then asked quietly, blinking a few times to get back to reality. "Yes, it's me. You had a nightmare!" Yoongi sat down on the floor with him . "Are you okay?" he asked him. "Yeah. I'm fine!" the younger nodded and took a deep breath. "Jimin...", Yoongi tried to start, but the latter cut him off. "Please...don't, okay? I don't want to talk about it!" he said annoyed and stood up.
"But Jimin! Now wait a minute!" Yoongi also got up and ran after his friend into the kitchen. "This can't go on like this! I mean, you're having horrible nightmares where you lash out, your mood changes abruptly, and you're even aggressive!" He stood in front of him with his arms crossed, looking at him promptly. "Please... talk to me!"
Jimin looked at him seriously. He wanted nothing more than that. Wanted to tell him everything. But nothing just came from his lips. Hadn't it been his own fault? He should have stopped Wito. He could have stopped him! Wasn't he himself to blame for what had happened to him and didn't he deserve it? "No," he said coldly and walked past him back into the living room. There he reached for his shoes and began to put them on. Yoongi followed him. "Jimin, please! If you're not going to talk to me, maybe you should at least talk to this..." He didn't know how to say it without getting it wrong.
"With this 'shrink'! Go ahead and say it!", Jimin hissed at him and stood up to put on his jacket.
"That's not what I meant!" Yoongi raised his arms in exasperation.
"Admit it, Hyung! I'm a poor, sick idiot to you that you're trying to help." Jimin now stood in front of him and glared at him angrily. "I don't need your help! And I'm certainly not going to some insane asylum! Stick your help up your ass and leave me alone!"
For a moment they looked firmly into each other's eyes. Jimin could see the pain flickering through Yoongi's eyes. But then he turned and left.
"Where are you going now???", Yoongi called after him. But he would not hear him.
"Shit!" cursed Yoongi. He slammed the front door and went back to the couch. What was he going to do? What could he do to help his friend? He was so fucking angry. Not at Jimin, at himself.
He just couldn't find the right words that could make him finally talk instead of suppressing everything. Shit, Jimin was so freaked out, he never would have done that before. But Yoongi could understand.
What he had thrown at him, though, was absolutely not true. He loved him! With all his heart! He had never thought of him as a... a sick idiot.
Totally exhausted, he reached for his cell phone, which was in his pants pocket, and dialed a number.
He waited a brief moment, then a male voice sounded on the other end of the line. "Yoongi Hyung?" this one asked. "What's wrong?"
"Namjoon... I need your advice."