Chapter Text
It was a gorgeous evening. They left a few windows open so that the salt air could flow, and the moon could spill its reflected rays onto the wooden floor. Slowly but surely, the cabin was starting to look like humans inhabited it again. At least Ed had kept the lounge. He was draped across it now, his bad leg extended to rest across Stede’s lap. Those luminous eyes of his were heavily lidded at the moment, staring into space as he puffed away at his pipe.
Stede’s right hand was on Ed’s thigh, caressing the muscles just above that trick knee, idly, as he read a newly acquired book to himself. It was a treatise on the English colonies and the crown and blah blah blah, the crew and Ed had little interest in it, so this was one that he read on his own. And normally he would be quite enthralled, but the smell of Ed’s tobacco and the powder he’d put on his clean skin (it helped with the leather, they’d learned), along with the resulting softness of said skin and the warmth and— well, the everything of Ed was proving very distracting. Stede found himself rereading the same damn pages several times over. They had quite mastered the art of necking now, but didn’t have the courage to progress any further. Stede still slept with the rest of the crew—on the nights they didn’t get buzzed and fall asleep in a pile on the lounge, that is. While the arrangement had never been formally discussed, Stede felt he had ceded his ownership of the cabin when he ran off.
“Did you enjoy fucking Mary?” Ed suddenly asked, his warm, deep voice mingling with the distant sound of waves in a way that Stede would likely never tire of. “When you were together, I mean.”
Glancing at his paramour over the top of his book, Stede mulled over how to phrase his answer. Since their reconciliation, Stede was trying this new thing with Ed called “Being completely honest.” Not massaging the truth to make himself look more cool, or more competent, or whatever he thought might impress Blackbeard. Not that such a thing had ever been easy to surmise. The master tactician always had something swirling around in that lovely head of his, and he never took a line of logic directly from Point A to Point B. A question about the price of cheese in Rome would actually be about orphans or something. So trying to chase him to a conclusion, as Izzy so often did, was a fruitless endeavor.
“I didn’t hate it,” Stede finally replied, with an awkward shrug.
A smirk crossed Ed’s lips and he tilted his head to glance at Stede. “Must not have. You managed to make two children, right?”
“Mm, well…” With a sigh, Stede put a placemark into his book and let it rest on his lap. “The first was a girl, so we had to keep trying to keep the family name going.” He looked out the window, plumbing memories from another life. “When you’re an aristocrat, everyone around you is always asking about your bloodline. Whenever we’d see any of our parents, they would hint around at all the—hnmn— lovemaking we should be doing. And thus we would have lots of wine and tumble into bed and rub against one another until the deed was done.”
“Sounds like fun,” Ed remarked, no trace of sarcasm in his voice, which always threw Stede off because Ed was, without fail, so goddamn sincere and the people in his old life never were.
Tapping a well-filed nail on the cloth cover of his book, Stede said, “I was no expert on the female anatomy, unfortunately. But I did my best to keep it from being an absolutely miserable affair for Mary. I listened to parlor gossip. I read a pamphlet.”
“A pamphlet,” Ed repeated, raising a brow.
Stede nodded. “I didn’t have the advantage of school chums or a friendly sort of father to pull me aside and tell me about the mysteries of the female form,” he sighed. “And I had absolutely no rapport with my own wife! It’s shameful to admit, looking back on it. I could have just asked her. But I was a selfish, miserable man. And even the most skillful techniques in the world can’t make up for a lack of passion. Of connection.”
Ed nodded sagely, puffing a few rings of smoke into the air. The lamplight illuminated them just so and they floated toward the darkened ceiling like graceful little spirits. “Well, can’t hold it against you. You walked into the whole thing blind, didn’t you? A couple of virgins pushed together so your parents could have more wealth, right?”
“I wasn’t, uh, exactly a virgin,” Stede said, clearing his throat. Ed shifted, sitting up just enough to communicate that he was listening to whatever Stede wanted to volunteer. And Stede felt like a raw nerve, touched by a healing balm, so wary about being exposed but thankful that someone actually gave a fuck about him. About every aspect of him, even the ugly bits. “There was a young man at the university… and I had a drinking buddy I met with sometimes.” Guiltily, he put the book aside on the small table near the lounge. “In the aristocracy, men frequently take mistresses. Or, ah, misters , in our case, I suppose.”
“What, you and Mary?” Ed cried.
“Alma’s definitely mine,” Stede said. “Louis is… up for debate. Not that it matters now. He’s a Bonnet in name, if not by blood. When he’s old enough, it will all be his. The estate, I mean.”
“Nothing for the girl?” Ed asked.
Stede shrugged. “That’s up to several things. I doubt Mary will force her into a loveless marriage, just for the sake of business. Hopefully she’ll fall for a man of some means.”
“Are you not worried about it?” Ed pressed further, still no trace of judgment on his features.
Stede scoffed. “I am endlessly worried about it. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about that little girl. But I am a miserable father, Ed. An even worse husband. This arrangement is best for all of us.”
“Mm.” Ed puffed on his pipe, ruminating on whatever conclusions he’d reached after finishing this line of questioning.
Despite knowing better, Stede tried to beat him to Point B. “I love you,” he reassured his co-captain. “Completely and desperately. I won’t leave you again. For anyone or anything.”
“I know,” Ed replied, the tiniest smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. He’d
let his beard grow back in, but only long enough to keep his skin from becoming waterlogged in a driving rain. He put his pipe aside on its stand, an ornate little piece of furniture in dark cherry that Stede had come across several weeks ago. Scooting forward, he situated himself so that his thighs were draped across Stede’s lap. All that sat between his bare skin and Stede’s trousers was that red velvet robe. When Stede had learned he’d been wearing it this whole time— Stede’s robe! With nothing underneath!— it was all Stede could do to keep his heart from exploding in his very chest.
Stede’s hand slid up Ed’s thigh, squeezing affectionately. “We never sat like this, Mary and I. Or… me and anyone, for that matter. I’ve never been with anyone in my life that I am so completely enamored with, you know.”
Ed curled an arm around Stede’s shoulders, his other hand caressing his face. “Mm. Same. Fuckin’ Blackbeard sitting in the Gentleman Pirate’s lap. Who could imagine?”
“Oh, I imagined it more times than I can count,” Stede admitted, breathlessly. “Along with any number of more scandalous scenarios. If you must know.”
“I must,” Ed replied, with an impish grin. “Tell me what kind of stuff you thought of. About me.”
“Oh!” Stede spluttered, turning crimson. How to admit to this man that he’d spent so many nights here curled up in his little bed nook, imagining those lips and frantically jerking off? “You have a sort of smile that you only show to me. Did you know? It’s mine, and mine alone, and I am very possessive of it.”
“That is very sweet,” Ed snorted. “But not the sort of scandalous I was hoping for, I gotta admit.”
“I ache to see you in the throes of ecstasy,” Stede continued, ignoring Ed’s criticism. “I want to see more secrets on that beautiful face of yours. Secrets reserved only for me, because only I can give them to you.”
Ed’s brow furrowed a bit, and Stede could tell he was doing his best to parse the flowery language. “You’ll have to teach me how to… to throw ecstasy. But I’m game.”
With a laugh, Stede took Ed’s face in his hands. He kissed his co-captain softly. “I mean to say,” he whispered, lips brushing against Ed’s, “that I’ve dreamt of dragging my tongue over every inch of you, teasing you until you beg me to fuck you. And then I do, because I am no tyrant… very slowly, and deeply, until we’re both blind from it.”
The words had their intended effect. Ed’s breath skipped, and he squirmed in Stede’s lap. “You… uh… you’re better at this than I expected.”
Pleased, Stede sat back to look at his conquest. “Surprised? Is that what this was all about? You wanted to know if I was a cold fish?”
“No!” Ed cried. “I mean…” Clearing his throat, he looked away. “I didn’t want you to fuck me out of— you know— obligation. I want you to enjoy it. And, fuck, I wanna enjoy it, too.”
“I dearly hope that you will,” Stede said, voice low. “None of the men I’ve been with have had any complaints.” He slid a few fingers into the silver curls at the back of Ed’s neck. “And I didn’t care one whit for them. Not the way I care for you. Just kissing you makes me weak in the knees. Surely that must be the best aphrodisiac there is.”
“Are you sure? What if you don’t like it?” Ed asked, eyelids fluttering as Stede’s caress made goosebumps rise on his skin. Did he know what an aphrodisiac was? Really, this newfound love of theirs was adding a number of new words to their vocabularies.
Leaning forward, Stede pressed a heated kiss to the curve of Ed’s throat. Reveling in the thrum of his lover’s pulse, he rumbled, “Then we shall teach each other how to be successful in this. In lovemaking. As we’ve taught each other so much else. I will tell you what I like. And you will do the same.”
“I like this,” Ed breathed.
“Me too.”
For a few moments, they sat in a warm silence as Stede brushed heated kisses across Ed’s skin. Finally, however, he had to speak up. “Am I allowed to ask you questions, now?”
“Always have been,” Ed replied. His eyes were closed and he sounded quite far away.
Pleased with himself, Stede felt some hesitation at breaking the spell he’d cast on his lover, who was often hard to pin down. But he had to put his own misgivings at ease. “Were you attracted to me because I reminded you of Cotton-Eye Jack?”
Ed let out a guffaw so loud that it nearly shattered Stede’s eardrum. Muttering an apology, he grabbed Stede’s face and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “Where the hell did that come from?! No. Christ, no.”
Looking a bit wounded, Stede said, “You told me we had so much in common. And then he told me you’d had— dalliances —“
“Dalliances,” Ed repeated. “If you count drunken fucks as dalliances, I suppose. As for the rest— Stede, you didn’t get to meet the real Calico Jack. He was purposefully fucking with you. And I’m not making excuses for him at all, but—“ Sighing deeply, Ed pressed his forehead to Stede’s temple. “Do you want to know why I love you? It’s a long-ass list of reasons. Starting with the fact that you’re absolutely fearless.”
“I’ll have you know that’s patently untrue—“
“You’re right. You’re right. You get scared all the time. But that doesn’t stop you from doing what you know is right. You’re— fucking recklessly kind. To those that deserve it. I— ever since your duel with Izzy, I started looking real hard at the man I wanna be. I stood aside and let you fight. I barely tried to argue. I could’ve lost you that night.”
“You put yourself between me and a firing squad. I think your debt is repaid.”
“Is it? Without you around, I lost myself again. So easily, I let Edward slip away. I let him die.”
“You had to protect him. So you put him away. I don’t blame you for that.” Brow furrowing, Stede caressed the scruffy curve of Ed’s jaw. “I told Jack that your past was your business. I believe that, truly. I shouldn’t have asked such a stupid question. I’m sorry to dredge everything up…”
“But we gotta,” Ed replied. “Because if I’m honest, I’m not sure who the real me is, and if we’re gonna move forward…”
“Hmm. Is the real Edward Teach simply waiting to be uncovered, like that treasure you say doesn’t exist?” Stede gently turned his head, so that their eyes could meet. “Or are we building him, day by day, into the man we want him to be? I hope it’s the latter, because that is what I’ve been doing with Stede.”
“I don’t see the point in that, when you’re already fuckin’ perfect,” Ed rasped, his eyes shining.
Stede only chuckled, shook his head, and kissed Ed long and hard. The tobacco and marmalade on his tongue combined in such a pleasant way. Pulling back, Stede licked his lips. “I made a pledge to myself to be a better man today than I was yesterday. Every day. You can help me do that, if you’d like. And I’ll do the same for you.”
After a moment of searching Stede’s eyes, Ed nodded in agreement.
Being a better man meant exercising restraint, even though Stede ached to let his hand slide further up Ed’s thigh. Ed had already mentioned fucking; clearly, he wanted it as much as Stede did. But it wasn’t optimal. Not even a hand job would be optimal, in this cabin still stripped of life because of the rash things Stede did. It still felt like there were barriers between them. And Stede preferred that his lovers weren’t on the verge of tears before the hanky panky started.
“I should turn in,” Stede sighed, patting Ed’s thigh affectionately.
For a moment, Ed hesitated. But finally, he nodded and rose from Stede’s lap. They kissed goodnight, and Stede made his way out of the cabin to his own little room. The one formerly occupied by Izzy. A fitting punishment , the Gentleman Pirate thought.