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Published:
2015-05-10
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Castiel Epithet

Summary:

Castiel has died and is looking back on his life. (this happens sometime after season nine) (some of the facts have been changed so that it fits better with the flow)

Work Text:

 

I never meant to hurt anyone, just stop a war.

I was an Angel of the Lord, but I've done so much wrong.

I raised Dean from Hell, and set Sam free from detox

by doing so I helped Lucifer leave his cage.

 

I never meant to hurt anyone, just stop a war.

After we defeated him and sent him to his cage

I knew I had lost my brothers, and Dad wasn't on the scene.

Gabrial, Michael, Lucifer all gone.

In Heaven there was a power struggle

I thought I could do it better.

despite Dean's pleas, I started working with Crowly

the New King Of Hell, to open Pugatory

to release the souls, to be soldiers for me.

Sam without a soul, and Dean ignoring me,

I did it on my own!

I tricked Crowly and took all the souls for myself.

 

I never meant to hurt anyone, just stop a war.

with my new powers, I tried to fix my fathers mistakes

I declared myself God.

I was too powerful to be stopped.

I wish I had listened to Dean,

ask for his help, something.

Maybe he could have stopped the bloodshed.

I massacred thousands of my brothers and sisters

Because they wanted to end Human Kind.

At least that's what I told myself,

To justify the killings

Honestly I just wanted to save Dean,

But i pushed him farther away.

To try and get his forgiveness, I gave up the souls.

Still he wouldn't talk to me,

So I helped the one person that he loved more than me.

His brother Sam.

I fixed his mental state, and took on myself the voice in his head.

It happened to be my brother Lucifer

It put me in a coma for six months.

 

I never meant to hurt anyone, just stop a war.

I was awoken by a prophet of the Lord,

Him finding the Word of God, The Demon Tablet.

I went to find Metatron, The Scribe of God,

To find out more about the tablet.

He told me there was a set of trials,

That could shut the doors of heaven, trapping the Angels in.

Thinking they would talk everything out, I agreed to help.

I was desperate to stop the war.

He lied to me.

Metatron stole my grace and kicked me out of Heaven.

 

 I never meant to hurt anyone, just stop a war.

I was Human.

I was Human, and had to find Sam and Dean and stop them.

Sam was doing the Demon Trials and would die if he completed them.

That was what I thought would be my last chance to help Dean,

Without my power I was useless.

Sam lived, and Dean was talking to me, even concerned about me.

I told him I was fine.

I was not.

Metatron banished all the Angels to Earth

They believed it was my fault.

I had Metatron’s Angels and Crowly’s Demons trying to find me,

I got a job and a small life, kept hidden, till I got my Grace back.

I started a self-punishment.

 

I never meant to hurt anyone, just stop a war.

I helped and saved anyone and everyone I could.

Eventually some Angels started finding me,

They wanted me to lead them.

I couldn’t.

But they were so lost, and Metatron needed to be defeated.

With the help of Sam and Dean, we followed some leads.

Then Metatron planted lies about me.

My army switched sides.

With the help of Sam and Dean, I defeated Metatron,

And let the Angels back into Heaven.

 

I never meant to hurt anyone, just stop a war.

I’ve done horrible things.

The only one who believed in me and never abandoned me,

Was Dean.

I was supposed to protect him, but it was the other way around.

I wish things were different.

I wish that I was Human, that we had met in a bar or on a hunt,

Something, anything, else.

I failed him to many times.

Lied to him, abandoned him in times of need.

Yet somehow he was still there, he never left.

Even when a stray follower of Metatron ran me through with an Angel Blade,

He held me, told me over and over how much he loved me,

He sat there for hours crying and hugging me,

I wish I could have done something.

I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, just stop a war.