Chapter Text
New school, new name, new life. As self conscious as he was, not yet where he wants to be but passing just enough for everyone to just assume he's androgynous, he's comfortable. He also hates the word androgynous because that’s not what he is, he shrugs. Stepping into his new jeans, sock pinned inside his new briefs because, "I-sweetie we.....we don't have the money...." shaking off the controversy of asking for the packer in the first place with a nervous smile and a nod. He was going to ask to earn it, but he's a little more comfortable with his current situation anyway, it's homely. If that makes even the slightest bit of sense. He's ready for the first day at his new school and for everyone to know him solely as who he is.
Head down, no talking, sit alone in the back row and keep up with the pace of swarming hormonal crowd around you. When the bell rings and it calls for lunch he didn't realize he was sitting at someone else's table but they don't seem to mind much, either.
"Who are you?" hair bizarre and everywhere, looking slightly confused but generally friendly.
"Oh that's Frank, he's new, he's in my physics class in 3rd period I think, right Frank?" Frank ponders, that must be Mikey, he sits a table down in the back of the room too, alone. Tall, lanky, greasy slicked forward hair and a crooked smile that’s totally infectious.
"Uhh, yeah, I'm Frank, nice to meet you?" not quite sure why he's questioning it but no one takes offense, first days are hard, especially when no one knows you, thank god no one knows me, Frank thinks.
When the last two boys make it to the table they eye at Frank, Mikey waving them off and Frank's heart rate increasing by the second. The last friends he had left him when he bought the binder, they thought it was, "just a gay thing" but here he is now, scared for his life and looking for an edge to hang on to. Anxiety man, what the hell is up with it?!
Mikey sits closer, looking Frank up and down, then to the boy who questioned Frank's very existence just minutes earlier, "He looks your type honestly, Gerard. Is that a Rocky Horror shirt, Frank? Yeah def. Gerard's type." he smiles at the older boy sitting across the table, smiling down at what looks cookies but could very well be rat poison biscuits. Frank tries not to blush because of course this is a Rocky Horror shirt and of course Frank as well as Gerard of all people would look up to Dr. Frank N Furter as if he were a god. (He is a god)
Frank barely talks, but when he does it's to who he now knows as Gerard. It's too bad they're not in any of the same classes, he really wants to befriend him, maybe talk music or movies, hell maybe talk art. Those hands are definitely artist hands.
When the final bell rings he's practically tackled by the ever-so-scrawny Mikey, sending him forward about 3 feet laughing until his head hurts and Mikey blurts out, "Dude, do you wanna come over and have a movie marathon? Gerard found $30 and is totally renting horror movies out the ass for all of us!" Mikey's face is flushed, for whatever reason, probably running full speed down a long hall without falling on his face. Frank can't help but blurt out a too-loud-for-indoors yes, asking to borrow Mikey's phone to make sure it's okay with his mom.
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It takes until right before he falls asleep on Mikey's smells-like-unwashed-boy bed to remember that he's binding, and it hurts. All bliss from a night of horror movies and cheap soda finds it's way out of him through tired eyes and almost tears because the clippy bits on the left side of his ribcage start to bruise.
"Fuck," he growls to himself, he was going to say something else but then he realized that Gerard is still awake and drawing what looks to be a horror-esque landscape covered in vampire bats and a full moon, incredibly cool.
"You okay? Need anything?" Gerard's voice is tired but very concerned as he looks over his shoulder to a slouched over Frank, digging at his ribs and hoping Gerard doesn't catch on.
"Yeah, it's cool, where's your bathroom?" Frank almost whispers the last part before Gerard points at the door and says something like, "two doors to the left, there should be a light on in there right by the sink, just look for the toilet if you get lost." and laughs to himself, he thinks he's hilarious Frank bets.
"T-thanks..."
Frank feels his way around for the main light and panics silently in the bathroom for what probably lasts 15 minutes. He takes his shirt off throwing it somewhere in the corner and lifts his binder to see the red indents on his left side, hissing as the cold air touches them but relaxing into it. Maybe if it's just one night it won't matter, then he hears foot steps outside the door. He splashes some water on his face, breathes and lets out a very panicked sob, anticipating the "you alright in there, dude?" or something similar. Totally forgetting he doesn't have his shirt on, totally forgetting everything on his mind and just breathing, or sobbing out breath, as he waits.
"Hey dude, if you need to like... go home or something, I can drive you, I won't tell the guys..." Gerard waits, he gets the same way at other people's houses, he can't sleep in them because they aren't home, ya know? He waits, hears tiny broken sobs and starts to say, "is it okay if I come in? I get panic attacks when I go to friends houses ya know... I understand..."
Frank almost yells no before the door handle is turning, he grabs it, "I-I'm fine I'll be out in a second just... give me a second..." He finds his shirt, throws it on, double, hell triple checks to see if he looks flat enough, if his sock is still pinned where it needs to be, and walks out hands shaking at his sides, smiling at the shadowed face in front of him. "I'm fine," he breathes out, "I think I forgot where I was..."
Gerard smiles back at him and brings him into the living room instead of the room with a heap of boys snoring on the bed while the last minutes of whatever horror movie they have playing cycles through.
When Frank is guided to the couch, given a drink, and finally looks up from his socked feet on the shaggy carpet below, Gerard is looking at him, checking up on him.
"You sure you're okay? You seemed pretty upset in there, what happened?" Gerard is just above a whisper, flicking on the TV for calming background noise, late night cartoons are always nice.
"Yeah... yeah, this is just really new for me is all, all of my... friends... before I moved here kind of left me after some... stuff happened so I'm not used to, I guess, the kindness? Understanding?" Frank has no idea why he just spilled himself to Gerard but Gerard looks so genuinely at him, like he understands.
"I-I dunno if it'll help you any but I don't really have friends, I've got Ray of course, he's my bud but other than him no one else comes around. Mikey is my little brother and best friend. We've never moved schools and I've never gotten along with anyone else." Gerard laughs, Frank can't tell if he's trying to shrug it off as nothing or if it hurts to admit but Frank smiles back at him.
"Well," Frank laughs at himself as he says it, "we can be outcasts together, a dynamic duo," he raises his head high, like a hero, "fighting crime and saving lives... or like... watching movies and hanging out together... if you want?" Frank's confidence pleats suddenly and he hangs his head low, sending a look Gerard's way that practically screams, "I want to be your friend but I'm pretty sure I'm annoying you.", without skipping a beat Gerard grins at the smaller boy and scoots closer without saying another word, they watch cartoons until they fall asleep together. Thank god they fell asleep sitting up, it's much less painful when Frank wakes up.
Mikey is the one to wake them up with sudden laughter and the, "Oh GOSH how cute is THIS." just loud enough for everyone in the United States Of America to hear him. Gerard coughs a bit, jostling Frank from his sleepy cuddle around the bigger boy's waist and blushes when he realized what he's done, or had been doing. Mikey laughs it off, as does Ray when told all about it later when he finally wakes up and demands breakfast.
Frank stays silent most of the day, only socialized in the don’t-speak-unless-spoken-to way of life but Gerard brings him out of his shell. Asking those weird questions only friends ask, like, "Ever worn make up and actually liked it?" Frank practically falls off the couch and Gerard reassures him that he actually loves make up and how horrible the gender binary is to everyone, fucking stereotypes ya know?
When Ray finally asks that question that no one really wants to answer but everyone wants to ask, things get a little awkward but of course Gerard is first to pursue it, head-on and confident, "I'm bi, I think, like I really admire girls, but I also would totally fu--" Mikey starts yelling "la-la-la"'s so loud no one can hear the rest of Gerard's ever-so-confident display of homo-fluidity, but everyone directly points their attention at the boy in the corner who hasn't spoken but 3 words tonight.
"What about you Frank?" Ray smiles slyly at him, he knows what he's doing.
"Oh, uh, well, I dunno, I like..." why am I blushing, Frank thinks.
"Come on, dude, no one's gonna judge ya I mean look at Gerard, do we really look like a judgmental group?" Mikey laughs at Gerard as the older boy flips him one, blushing slightly, totally infuriated obviously.
"I like boys mostly, I think, but I think sexuality is a lot more complex than that?" Frank scrunches his face up and folds his arms around his knees, resting his head there and looking at Ray's massive bed-head fro.
Gerard agrees, almost triumphantly and no one else answers the question, rude, Frank thinks to himself. They end up watching more horror movies but Frank is paying more attention to Ray and Gerard talking while Gerard draws. Ray spouts off ideas and Gerard puts them on paper, he has no idea what this colorful splash of blood and human organs is supposed to be but honestly, he really likes how Gerard brings everything to life. Gerard smiles as Ray says "everyone needs a fro in this picture, all of them.", he complies easily and everyone has brightly colored fros of varying sizes and colors.
And then Frank notices that one character in this weird grotesque art Gerard has brought into this world, has stitching right under the pecks. He kind of smiles, trying to get a better look to see if that is in fact what that is, and he looks at Gerard.
"So," he points to the scaring on said character, almost blushing because wow he identifies with this, "are these scars from... ya know... like brea-- uhm... chest reconstruction?" Gerard looks up at the curious boy over his shoulder and smiles.
"Yeah, they're top surgery scars. I'm working on this comic--" Gerard trails on as Frank brushes his finger across the scars on the drawing, mouth slightly slack, eyes glazed over, he can't really listen because he's so amazed by Gerard's knowledge of this stuff. His parents didn't know about anything like this, even though he...ya know, existed. Not that they were to say-- unaccepting of him and his identity, more so that they tried to ignore it and they didn't understand any of it. They were just there for the ride. Gerard can see Frank is totally in awe over these scars and not taking in anything around him so Gerard waits for him to come back to reality. When Frank finally does snap back he looks at Gerard and smiles.
Maybe making friends... putting trust into people you don't quite know... maybe it'll work out. Maybe this will work out.