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Johnny had discovered a new fetish.
Well, he couldn't quite confirm if that's what it was, it was a lot more elaborate than any particular sexual fixation he'd had in the past. And quite a bit more taboo as well.
"Hurry up. I'm gonna freeze over here."
Johnny stopped blowing on the coals momentarily to compose himself. Lying on his stomach, propped up by his elbows, his ass on full display, he could feel Gyro's eyes on him. Sweeping over Johnny's body as he relaxed against a tree trunk. The gaze combined with the quick and demanding tone of his voice caused Johnny to shiver and a flush to rise to his cheeks.
It had all started a few nights ago. They'd been in the tent together. Lying on opposite sides, each with their own mat. It had been one of those all too common nights for Johnny; wide awake, every rustle of the trees or gusts of wind startling him, every critical thought running through his head working hard to ensure he wouldn't be drifting into dreamland anytime soon. With every passing second alone with himself, it became harder and harder to let sleep take him. So Johnny had done the only thing he could think to do, he reached out to the man beside him.
"Gyro?" He whispered into the dark, "Gyro, are you still awake?"
Johnny waited several moments but no reply came. After a while, he took it upon himself to scoot closer. If he couldn't talk away his negative feelings, then at least being close to a friend might distract him from them a little.
Unfortunately, the unfeeling, dead weight of his legs was a constant reminder of the grim reality he lived in.
Good for nothing hunks of meat,
He glared down at his legs. They didn't even feel like his own anymore. Blank, empty, they were nothing more than an extra chunk of pounds he had to hall around. Atrophy ridden and withered, serving no other purpose than to remind him of what he had lost, of what he used to be. Nothing but useless.
"Gyro?" He whispered once more as he reached his companion's side. Making sure he wasn't awake before proceeding with his embarrassing actions. After no reply came from the sleeping man, Johnny carefully lay down by his side. Daring to press their sides together, just to feel some sense of comfort.
And that when it had happened. That's when Gyro unknowingly set off the next few strangest days of Johnny's entire young life.
Johnny tensed in fear as he felt Gyro stir. He braced himself, sure that he had been caught red-handed.
But instead, he felt a lazy arm being thrown over him, and he felt his body being tugged backward. He held his breath as he waited for Gyro to say something, to call him out. But instead, he only heard, and felt, the even breaths of a slumbering man against his ear. He also felt something being pressed against his lower back, at the spot just before his nerves went dead. Something hard and thick. He wriggled in Gyro's grasp, trying to turn around to face the man. And that's when he realized it wasn't a knife or pistol like he'd expected his overly cautious friend to be sleeping with.
"Ahh," Gyro let out a breathy moan.
Oh…
Now facing the sleeping man, who was holding him in a death grip, Johnny looked down to see what exactly had been poking him.
Pressed up against his unfeeling leg a raging erection that was straining to break free from Gyro's boxers. A strange nausea came to settle in Johnny's stomach. It was off-putting that he wasn't able to feel such an inappropriate action. If Gyro hadn't alerted him by his unconscious sound of pleasure, Johnny may have gone all night sleeping with his ass unknowingly pressed against his friend's hard-on.
Fuck, that would have been embarrassing. If he'd woken up, what would he think? Would he think I crawled over here with such filthy intentions in mind? Would he even realize it was an accident?
Even with this new knowledge, Johnny didn't pull away. A stayed still for a good long while, just watching the occasional shifting of Gyro's hips and the way his slumbering mind instinctively sought pleasure through stimulation.
…If I had fallen asleep without realizing just what was pressing up against me, I wonder what he would have done. Would he have woken up? Would he…?
Johnny bit his lip. The sudden vision of Gyro's sleeping figure rutting against his ass flashed through his mind.
Or maybe not sleeping. Maybe Gyro would have woken up and been so aroused that he…
Ever so carefully Johnny lifted the thigh that the tent in Gyro's pants was currently pressed against. He shifted the unfortunately paralysis-stricken leg so that Gyro's clothed cock was now sandwiched between his thighs. Gyro let out another soft groan. His sleepy hands wandered clumsily down Johnny's back until they came to grip his hips rather firmly.
Johnny looked down between their bodies and watched in fascination as Gyro's sleeping body began to push his erection in and out of the right space between Johnny's legs. A strange giddiness came over the younger of the two as he watched the graceless scene unfold. Even though he couldn't feel a thing besides the soft jostling of his body, warm pleasure began to pool in his gut.
At least my legs are useful for this, I suppose…
"Why don't you do it yourself then!" Johnny whipped his head around. He hoped the heat of the tiny glowing coals was enough to excuse his flushed face.
Gyro scowled. "I filled our water supply earlier and hauled all the materials for this fire you're supposed to have started ages ago. It's your turn to do something now."
Johnny's lips thinned into a hardened line. "You know I'm not exactly equipped to do those chores…"
"Right," Gyro snapped, "so your job is to light the fucking fire before I catch a cold."
The commanding tone of Gyro's voice instantly lost its effect on him and his companion quickly returned to the annoying prick he so often was. "Why do I have to light the fire? I'm not good at this. I only got it going that one time, and that was all the way back in the desert! So I don't know why you think I can-"
"My God," Gyro rolled his eyes dramatically, "you can't get water, you can't get us supplies, and you can't even get a damn fire going? What the hell are you good for then? You have to carry your own weight, Johnny! I'm not here to parent you!"
The harsh words hung heavily in the night air that was growing ever colder. Johnny's face fell. He cast his eyes downward to the pathetic beginning of a flame he'd made. It flickered in the darkness. Threatening to burn out at any moment, barely hanging on to life.
"Shit," Gyro winced, "I didn't mean it like that," Johnny kept his eyes locked on the dying flame as he heard footsteps approaching from behind. "Here," Gyro crouched beside him, making quick work of the sharpened stones to create sparks. In no time he had a healthy and lively fire going that was quickly spreading to consume the entire pile of sticks and leaves.
"Really, I didn't mean it like that," Gyro repeated.
"It's fine," Johnny muttered, "I get it."
I could be useful in other ways if you wanted that too…
"I know I can't help around camp much, but I still want to be useful. I don't want you to have to feel like you have to take care of me."
"You are, and I don't." Gyro quickly assured him. He gives Johnny a hardy slap on the back in an attempt to dispel the awkwardness. "Really, don't worry about that kind of thing." He said. Though it sounded anything but genuine to Johnny's ears.
"Now, let's get that meat cooking, I'm starving!" Gyro exclaimed. Steering the conversation into a less uncomfortable topic. But even as Gyro babbled on about the best seasonings for beef and the favorite foods of his homeland, Johnny couldn't seem to get his mind off of his self-worth.
I can be useful…
…I want to be useful.
°°°
On cold nights like these, they naturally slept closer than they would otherwise. And seeing as this was the coldest night of their journey together yet, it seemed like the perfect time to put his plan into action. He scooted backward, closing the already small gap between his and Gyro's bodies. His objective this time would be to get Gyro to wake up. If only to gauge his reaction to the situation. To see if it was something that interested his woken body as well as his sleeping one. Before long he heard that same breathy moan from nights ago against his ear. He felt the rhythmic rocking of Gyro's hips against his backside. Sleepy hands wandered to clutch around his abdomen. Johnny had to choke back a moan of his own. The mental picture of what was being done to him alone was enough to make his insides feel as if they were on fire.
But he couldn't just sit this out. He needed Gyro to realize what was going on this time around.
Slowly, Johnny walked his fingers down the arm that was wrapped around his waist. He took the skin of Gyro's knuckles and pinched as hard as he could before quickly falling limp again.
"Hmmph?" He heard Gyro begin to stir behind him. Though the gently rocking of his Gyro's slowed, it didn't cease until he heard a soft "oh fuck" muttered.
Lying motionless with his eyes closed, Johnny focused on steadying his breath. Keeping up the appearance of sleeping was crucial to the plan he had laid out.
"Goddammit," Gyro whispered to himself. A pang of disappointment rang through Johnny as he felt the heavy hands leave his waist. But the feeling didn't have a chance to last long as those hands quickly returned to grip his hips. The slow and steady feeling of his body being rocked started again and he felt the warmth of Gyro's body press against his back.
And with that, Johnny had all the confirmation he needed.
In a purposefully clumsy manner, Johnny rolled to his other side so that he and Gyro were face to face. Or rather, face to chest, as Gyro was a good nine inches taller than him even when both of them were lying down.
"S-Shit, Johnny,"
He couldn't help but smile to himself at Gyro's flustered tone. He could only imagine what Gyro's expression looked like as he was caught red-handed.
"mmh, cold," he muttered in his best “ just woken up voice ”, pressing closer to Gyro's chest.
"Johnny, I…"
Gyro quickly fell silent as Johnny pulled the same maneuver as the other night. Only this time, trying to make it look as unintentional as possible.
Whether it was a convincing act or not it seemed to work for what Johnny was going for. What felt like a thrust that Gyro had failed to suppress jolted Johnny's frame.
"You're hard," Johnny whispered into the dark. He let one hand trail down to tease the top of Gyro's waistband as the other stayed splayed across his chest.
"Johnny, I'm sorry, I… uh…"
"It's okay," Johnny's hand dipped down to tentatively stroke the erection underneath. His own breath became labored with lust as he felt just how big it was. "Does that feel good?"
"Y-eah," Gyro gasped. He still sounded a little unsure of the situation.
Johnny wanted to change that. He wanted to show Gyro just how much he could provide. Just how useful he could be.
Gasping as he felt his cock being exposed to the cool air of the tent, Gyro's mind reeled, trying to comprehend the quick turn of events. "What are you doing?"
"You were trying to fuck my thighs, weren't you?" Johnny slipped the hem of his pants down just enough to expose some of the soft skin.
Gyro didn't reply, only slipping a hand down to hesitantly squeeze one of his companion's now exposed thighs. Biting down on his bottom lip hard, Johnny shoved Gyro's hard cock between his legs.
"Can you feel that?" Gyro whispered.
"No," Johnny said truthfully.
"...what about this?"
Not sensing any change in Gyro's movement, Johnny was puzzled. This is until he craned his neck around to see what was happening behind him.
About two digits. That's how deep one Gyro's finger currently was in his ass.
"N-No," instantly a thousand new ideas of what he could do for Gyro flooded his mind. All the ways he could make Gyro feel so, so good. All the ways he could be useful. "Is that what you want?"
"I don't want to hurt you,"
"You won't. I can't feel anything down there. So just… just use me."
°°°
The air in the tent was cold, but that didn't stop Gyro from stripping Johnny's shirt off. Nor did it stop Johnny from enjoying every second of Gyro's ravenous gaze sweeping over him. The light from a small oil lamp was all they had to see what they were doing. It cast harsh shadows over Johnny's toned upper body. Marveling at the sight, Gyro grazed a hand over the defined pectoral muscles. It was amazing, the contrast between Johnny's upper and lower body. His arms were firm and strong, while his legs were soft and delicate. While his abs were a nice sight, but his smooth, round ass might just be even better. Besides the obvious anatomical difference, Johnny's lower body looked more like it should belong to a woman than a man. Gentle curves and enticing hips. Just begging to be wrecked. Though he suspected it was mostly from Johnny's inability to exercise that part of his body, Gyro couldn't help but wonder if Johnny naturally possessed this bit of hidden feminine beauty as well.
Though a shiver ran through Johnny's body and sweat was beginning to collect on his brow, Gyro noted that his cock was still flaccid. Which now that he thought about it was a little strange. Shouldn't one's partner be erect during sexual intercourse as well? That seemed logical. Then again, Gyro wasn't used to his sexual partners having a penis at all, so he supposed he didn't mind. But still, it was a bit concerning that Johnny had no physical response to sexual contact. Because of his paralysis, Gyro had no way of telling how he was feeling. Whether he was being hurt or not, if he liked what was happening, or if Gyro was making him completely uncomfortable.
After lifting one limp leg to rest over his shoulder, Gyro began to line his neglected erection up with the object of his desire. But before pushing past Johnny's entrance he hesitated.
Is he even going to enjoy this? If he can't feel anything below his waist, then that means he's only going to feel like he's being jostled around for the next few minutes.
Gyro quickly racked his mind for a way to even the playing field. Anything to make this experience more comfortable for Johnny.
"Can I kiss you?" He blurted out.
"H-Huh?"
For a brief, fearful moment Gyro thought he'd just made things worse.
"Oh, um, yeah." Johnny nodded. A look of confidence came over his soft features. "Do whatever you want to me."
The complete and shameless compliance both aroused Gyro and unsettled him. On one hand, he wanted to scold Johnny for so easily giving consent to unknown and possibly dangerous activities. But on the other hand, his mind wandered to all that “whatever” could mean. All the ways he could use Johnny's lithe body.
He decided not to comment and instead leaned down to press their lips together. In doing so the leg over his shoulder bent to what looked like an uncomfortable angle, but Johnny didn't protest or seem to notice so Gyro continued on. Moving his mouth eagerly, Gyro pushed his tongue past Johnny's pliable lips for a brief, experimental moment. He felt Johnny shudder in response to the intrusion. He could only hope that it was a shudder of pleasure. And he could only try his best to make this an equally pleasurable experience for them both.
Still moving his lips feverishly against Johnny's, Gyro pushed in. Letting out a groan as he felt tight walls hugging his member. Slowly he dragged his cock in and out. While it was overwhelmingly pleasurable at first, the sensation soon became uncomfortable as the friction set in.
"Shit, you're really dry,"
"Oh," the disappointment Johnny unintentionally expressed in tone was a tad bit heartwarming. But also there was that lingering uncanny feeling at the stubborn young man's sudden willingness to comply with another person's every demand. Especially when said person was Gyro Zeppeli: a man Johnny hardly seemed to respect at all most days.
"What's that mean?"
"Just that, uh, well you know, girls are usually wet. And you're not so it's a little hard to…" Gyro's face went pale as he moved away from Johnny's body. As he pulled out his cock he was horrified to see a generous amount of red painting his member. As well as a small trail of blood seeping from between Johnny's legs.
"What? What's wrong?" Johnny sat up. Noticing his companion's sudden change in demeanor. He laughed when he saw the mess made between them. "Well, there's your wetness."
The uncanny feeling came back in full force. Causing any lingering arousing to instantly die. Gyro backed away, letting Johnny's suspended leg fall limply to the ground. Like a rag doll. Unfeeling, senseless, dead. Only warm because it was still attached to Johnny's pumping heart, not his brain. Only there because the rest of his body had an obligation to keep it alive, not because Johnny could get any use out of it. His eyes darted over the naked figure before him. Legs lying at unnatural angles that no normal human would be comfortable with. The knees bent inward to an uncomfortable extent, causing one side of the hip to jut out awkwardly. The penis was still as limp and soft as ever, the now mangled anal opening oozed with ever-thickening blood. No tension in the muscles, no signs of pain. Just dead. Completely dead below the waist.
A sick feeling quickly filled Gyro's stomach and bile rose to his throat. He choked it down as he reached over to their luggage for a rag to wipe himself off with.
"Hey," Johnny's brow knitted in confusion, "it's fine. I told you, I can't feel it. Let's keep going."
"No," Gyro snapped. Tucking his rapidly softening cock back into his pants. "I'm not doing that. That's fucked up."
"What?"
He harshly tossed the wad of hastily discarded clothing back at Johnny along with a clean towel. "Clean up. Make yourself decent. I'm going back to bed."
"Hey! Why?" The edge of anger was an unexpected feature of Johnny's response. But surprised or not at Johnny's investment in such deranged activities, Gyro paid no mind. He turned away to lie on his side of the small tent.
"Seriously, what did I do?" Johnny's voice came out a little softer this time. Sounding more hurt than angry.
"It's fucked up."
"What is?"
Gyro glared at the tent wall. As if making a hostile expression towards something would be enough to dispel this growing dread in his gut. "What we were doing. You said it yourself, you can't feel shit down there."
"And I said it was fine," there it was again. Bitterness, hostility, entitlement. Classic Johnny.
"No, it's not. I made you fucking bleed down there. If you'd been able to feel it, you could have told me something was wrong. But you can't."
"Jesus," Johnny sighed in exasperation, "how many times do I have to tell you? I don't care. So what if it bleeds a little?"
Gyro got the sudden feeling that he was being talked down to. This was especially irritating since he was clearly the more aware one here. Johnny was the one who didn't understand how gross this situation was.
"You're like a dead fish, okay? You don't move, you don't respond to anything, you just lay there. It… it felt like I was fucking a corpse. I don't wanna put my dick in something that's not even gonna feel it when I accidentally tear its ass in two."
It only occurred to Gyro just how cruel his honest ramblings had been when he heard sniffling behind him. When he turned around he found Johnny's wide teary eyes looking back at him. He swallowed dryly. The dread in his gut only grew. "Johnny,"
"What the fuck do you want from me?" Johnny hissed through clenched teeth. Teeth that seemed to be the only dam holding back a flood of sobs. "You treat me like shit, you scold me for things you know I can't do, and now this? You're gonna fuck me and then act shocked when it feels like shit? What the hell did you expect? You already know how I am. So why is it supposed to be my fault? Huh? Why do I have to take the blame for your disappointment over and over? You should know what you're getting into by now!" Johnny growled in frustration. He slammed a calloused set of knuckles into the hard ground. "And this shit about not wanting to “parent” me, really?" Gyro could tell he was on a roll. There was no option besides sitting in silence while Johnny let it all out. "You know, I could barely make it up a ramp without someone pushing me before I knew these dinky little Spin tricks. I couldn't ride, I couldn't get a job, I was living off of my dad's pity money."
Gyro's heart was quickly struck with a lash of guilt. He hadn't thought about Johnny's life before the race much. He hadn't thought much about how he managed himself without Spin or without a horse. Now, he felt like all his passive-aggressive comments and teasing might have cut a little deeper than intended. Had he put a damper on Johnny's progress? Surely he must feel proud about the amount of independence he'd gained back. Had Gyro ruined that by constantly reminding him of what he still couldn't do on his own?
"You wanna know how I was when I first got discharged from the hospital?"
Not really. Gyro thought to himself. Though he guessed it would probably be best to know. If only to give him a little perspective.
"I couldn't even control when I pissed or shit. I had to wear a fucking diaper for nearly a year before I finally learned how to hold it for the toilet again. Don't you get it? Basically, anything significant I'm able to do on my own now is because you helped me figure it out. I was like a helpless child before Spin. So what else would you expect when bringing me along than having to “parent” me? I think sometimes you forget it so I'll spell it out for you. I'm disabled . I try my best but whatever I do apparently isn't enough. And it'll probably never be enough unless I can get those corpse parts and make another miracle happen. So if you're tired of dragging my dead weight around, just say it. Don't act like it's my fault when you're the one who chose to bring me into your camp."
Gyro waited about five seconds before speaking to make sure Johnny had said everything he'd needed to. "I don't want you to go, Johnny. And I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I… you're right, sometimes I do forget that you're actually disabled. But that's because I know how capable you are. I'm only harsh on you because I know how resilient you are, but I get now that I let that get out of hand, and I'm sorry for that."
Angry tears were still spilling from Johnny's sky blue eyes. "You didn't answer my question before. What do you want from me?"
Gyro smiled sadly. "I don't know, I just like having you along for the ride. I think I should be the one asking you that question. What do you want from me? You came to learn Spin, but I've taught you about all I can and you still aren't where you want to be. I'm sure you could find the rest of the corpse on your own at this point, so why are you still here?"
"That's not what I meant," Johnny finally broke his tearful glare to stare at the ground, "I mean, what was that? What did we just do, and why? If you're so repulsed by my “dead fish” body, then why even try? Why get my hopes up?"
Gyro cringed at his harsh and impulsive words being thrown back in his face. "Like I said before, sometimes I just forget about your legs. Sometimes I forget that you really, truly can't feel anything down there… I do want to though. I just… I don't think I can bring myself to do that when you're so unresponsive."
"Great," Johnny chuckled. It sounded nothing like the cold laugh he'd let out earlier that night. "Guess we just made things pretty awkward then, huh? Not really much we can do now that you've told me how you feel…"
"Hey," Gyro crawled forward. He reached out to take Johnny's hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. "I didn't say that. I still think you're…" tempting, fuckable, "I mean, there's still plenty we can do."
"Like what?"
"Well," Gyro trailed his hand up Johnny's arms to smooth over his still bare chest. "Anything above the waist, right?"
"Isn't that boring?" Johnny frowned.
"No. It'll be more fun for you, I'm guessing."
"Okay, that's all fine and dandy since I can't feel my dick anyway, but what about your dick?"
Gyro laughed as he leaned in to press a kiss on Johnny's lips. "I never said mine was off-limits!"
A pinkish tint appeared on Johnny's pale cheeks. And it was such a beautiful sight to see after all the waterworks. "Y-Yeah?"
"Yeah," Gyro bent down to kiss that funny little star-shaped birthmark on his shoulder. He snaked one of his arms around Johnny's waist to tug him closer. He tangled his free hand in Johnny's soft shaggy hair. It wasn't long before he had the younger man moaning softly into his mouth. Which was much preferable to his previous status of silently sweating. After a few aggressively needy tugs to his long hair as well as Gyro's tongue finding its way down to Johnny's erect nipples, it wasn't long before Gyro's boner was back at full force. Amateur hands gripped him through his clothes.
"I wanna jerk you off," Johnny leaned back but still kept his arms secured around Gyro's neck.
"By all means," Gyro flashed his golden grills, "I have no intentions of stopping you."
The cute pinkness of his cheeks darkened as he twirled a lock of his hair. Looking almost nervous. "Can you get on top of me when I do it?"
Gyro raised an eyebrow. "Like, straddle you? How come?" It hardly seemed like the most convenient position for giving a hand job.
The hair twirling turned to full-on anxious fidgeting as Johnny said the hottest, most filthy, instant-turn-on thing that Gyro never would have expected. The kind of thing that, coming from Johnny, almost made him choke on his own saliva.
"Because I want you to cum on my stomach."