Chapter Text
Listen-
Things just-
Things just happened to him, okay?
He didn’t mean for them to, he never wanted them to, but like that fucked up doctor said oh so long ago, he should really “just give up” on his wants for things not to fuck up.
His night started off fine, decent for a change even! He was on his own summer break, he was basking in the cool night air that summer blessed him with instead of overwhelming humidity; his mom was gone to go spend time with his dad in America so he had the apartment to himself, AND-since two years ago he…well, he sold some certain items and collected a HUGE sum of cash for the items sold-he had plans to spend a bit more than normal at his favorite restaurant and then he could spend two wondrous hours, nice and full, with a bunch of kitties!
A birthday present to himself, and a congratulations for graduating High School early and already hopping onto his university degree!
(He knows damn well his lovely father, tall and brooding and oh so very important in certain fields, was able to help him in some capacity to attend schooling further along than most Quirkless. His father was absent physically, but his King Papa Dragon made sure to put some effort in helping where he could.)
With how hectic everything had been, what with those poor third years being targeted last year at UA and then the literal hero war and just all those poor kids getting hurt just by attending UA? Yeah, no.
It had been his dream and everything, but holy shit he missed a huge fucking grenade. Sometimes he still yearned for it, his old dream. Sometimes he picked up on little hobbies or took online virtual courses to help it. He always had to remind himself to be realistic.
Anyway!
Back on target.
He hadn’t MEANT for shit to go the way it did, he had PLANS. He had katsudon and gyoza to gorge on, big bottles of melon Ramune, and kitties to adore afterwards! None of his plans involved running away from Eraserhead, the hoodie of his green sweater hanging on for dear fucking life to his head, tiny kitten ears flapping in the wind, and his feet moving faster than he ever thought they could.
He’s a runner, he’s a trackstar
Sorry, how did this happen?
Well, you see, that’s what he was wondering too. Especially as he tried to avoid that very persistent capture scarf.
(Holy shit, it was so cool to see it in action! He HAD been right about it being a unique capture scarf like weapon thing instead of the ribbon concept that some other lurkers on the underground blogs thought they were. Just because Eraserhead was said to have collabed with Midnight once did not mean he was going to use ribbons! He wasn’t going to correct them of course, but it satisfied himself to know he was right. So neh!)
He had heard someone call for help but it hadn’t sounded panicked, not like someone was being murdered or anything, just that someone lost something on the ground and needed help or something. And being the kind, stupid soul he was, with time on his hands and a sixteen-year old’s naivety in hand, he went to investigate to help! The community had been getting closer together and people didn’t even give him dirty looks anymore!
He didn’t even need to go a half kilometer away to get decent priced things anymore!
(He had nearly cried when Fingers- Takahashi-kun- had come up and apologized to him for being a dick when they still attended school together in middle school. It hadn’t erased shit, being miserable for a decade sucked donkey dong, but it felt good to be apologized to.
The free taiyaki had been nice too.)
Anyway, he went to help and…well, turns out it had been a drug dealer and drug buyer who simply had a very passive voice but face to face looked awfully panicked when he saw Izuku and just…
How does one explain blacking out in panic and waking up to find both people somehow knocked out, one bloody, with their blood on his very sore knuckles?
And then the sound of wooshing fabric coming after him began the whole desire to run .
(Yeet.)
Look, he ran from Eraserhead because instincts kicked in and told him to run like Satan himself was on his heels, middle school had been a trying time, and well…Eraserhead’s growling and snarls were fucking terrifying okay?
He just wanted to pet cats!! He even wore the cute sweater his Mom and Dad got him three Christmases ago! It had a cute black cat on the front, looking smug with a little white bowtie, saying ‘No.’!! It was PERFECT and matched his hair and eyes!
And now he was running and oh wow, when did the Himura’s sell the old Pizza place?! Nooo!! That was the only place this side of Musatafu that sold good American style Pizza! Just what is he-?!
“Hey! S-Stop throwing that at me, I’m mourning!”
Wait.
Why the fuck did he just sass Eraserhead?!
(Some voice in the back of his mind cackled and it sounded an awful lot like Kacchan. Fucking bastard, he’d just buy the spicy mopu tofu he liked from Obaa-san’s and send him pictures without sharing.
Did he know Kacchan was off on a trip camping with half his class and four chaperones? Yes. Did that matter? No.)
Well, he very much found himself bound up in the scarf capture weapon real quick after that sassy remark, groaning as he fell on his front on the-hey when did they get on the roofs?
“You’re fast, I’ll give you that kid.”
Satan himself, er, rather, Eraserhead himself quirk flares from underneath golden goggles, black hair raised menacingly for all of three seconds before the capture scarf tightened. “You’re coming with me, I’m sure we’re all very interested in knowing why you ran from a pro-hero after apprehending two known drug dealers.”
Well…
Fuck.
~
“State your name?” The plain-faced Detective requests, pressing the record button on the machine-thingy to his right.
“Midoriya Izuku.” What? He wasn’t going to lie, besides, he technically could count it as self-defense and being stupid and running.
“Quirk Status and Age?”
“A-Ah Quirkless and I’m sixteen years old, this past July.” He offers a wane smile, shrugging.
The Detective nods, not at all looking disgusted by his status. “Now, care to explain what brought you here, tonight?”
“Well,” he gives a brief glance to Eraserhead in the corner, feeling guilty for making the pro-hero who’s dealt with a lot of bullshit lately, and dealt with Kacchan, now deal with him, “I-I graduated High School early, I do online classes that go at my own pace, a-and I well, I decided to take come University courses! I decided to become an Analyst of sorts to be realistic with myself.” It was always a sore pill to swallow, but All Might was right and now the poor man was half-dead thanks to all the bull last year.
“Mom and Dad a-are off in America, on holiday!, so I decided to treat myself w-with katsudon and visiting the cat cafe over near the library.” Kami, and it was late now, so most likely he wouldn’t be able to go see kittens. “I was walking past the 7-11 when I heard a call for help. They sounded like they lost some keys or something, nothing life threatening! I’m n-no hero, and I have no-well, I do have some knowledge about things and I got my certificate-wait sorry, not the point. I’m not a professional, so I wouldn’t jump into those situations anymore. But when I went to help, well…” He shrugs, giving a grimace.
“The guys both glared at me, I think they were worried I’d snitch?, one more so than the other since one looked scared, the meaner one reached into his jacket and I well…I blacked out?? I became aware when they were both on the ground and Eraserhead arrived and well…I’m very young and very stupid, and instincts are a bitch, so I ran.” He admits with a sigh. “I’m sorry for wasting your time, I didn’t mean to be such an inconvenience.”
Both men looked at him with the same baffled look Dad had had when he told him about the Sludge Villain incident. Which…yeah mom might never let him be home alone again.
“Well…what you did wasn’t right,” the poor detective looked so done with everything. Big Mood. “We can’t exactly keep you detained due to self-defense act recently passed,” everyone knew that had this been a year prior, due to Izuku ‘escalating’ the situation, he’d be fined at the least, “this will be your warning but you’re free to go Midoriya-kun. Please be safer out there, just because reform is happening, doesn’t mean everything is safe right now.”
Eraserhead moved off the wall, eyeing him for a moment before sighing, “C’mon kid, I’ll escort you back home.” His eyebrows raised as Izuku’s stomach growled, “...After dinner. You wanted Katsudon, right?”
Oh.
…Oh no.
Kacchan had warned him about this. Well, more so looked amused and smug before he had kicked his ass before their parents could stop them- Told him too, when they saw each other over stupid winter break, that Eraserhead would take one look at him and think “Problem Child for adoption”.
Fucking hell, does he owe Kacchan money???
~
A week later sees him happily dying of suffocation under a hoard of purring demons, with a not at all mysterious black-haired teacher sipping coffee in a corner.
Nope, he refuses to accept his new adopted status, Kacchan can go fuck himself over his theory.