Work Text:
Louis thought it was so heart-wrenchingly cute when it first happened.
They’d walked into a house party, Harry’s first but Louis’ hundredth, and were greeted with a loud cheer from all the drunks piled into the living room. Louis figured it was the noise that had Harry grabbing his hand so quickly, but he didn’t let it go until they moved to the less-crowded kitchen.
“Sorry,” He’d mumbled, and Louis just grinned and ruffled Harry’s hair.
“It’s fine. Now what do you wanna drink?”
Louis thought it was going to be a one time thing, a split decision Harry made when he’d been startled by all the people, but it happened every other day.
When they were leaving their classroom, Harry’s hand slipped into his so Louis could lead the way. When they were queueing up for their hot lunches, Harry pressed himself into Louis’ side and linked their arms. When they were eating and someone outside of their little group approached them, Louis would feel the soft warm skin of Harry’s hand cover his own under the table.
He reasoned that it was because Harry was relatively new to the school.
Well, like, he’d been there for over half a year but he still didn’t know everyone and was just shy when it came to new people. Which didn’t completely explain everything, because he had seen Harry talking to people on various occasions from afar, but it was okay. Louis didn’t need an explanation, it wasn’t a bother. He kind of even liked it sometimes; it was cute and it showed that Harry trusted him.
But his friends didn’t see it that way.
“He likes you,” Liam said one lunch time.
“Of course he does,” Louis rolled his eyes. “He likes all of us.”
“No, he likes you,” Zayn interrupted, eyes flicking back and forth between the door to the toilets Harry had rushed off to and Louis.
“Don’t be daft,” Louis snorted. He stabbed a bit of roast potato with his fork, refusing to look at his mates. They were all staring at him, he could feel it.
“He does! Why else does he hold your hand all the time? And cuddle up to you whenever one of your football mates tries to talk to you?”
“Because he’s scared! Maybe, I dunno. He doesn’t have a crush on me though,” Louis said sternly, and out of the corner of his eyes saw Harry coming out of the bathrooms. He told his friends as much, and they all shut up immediately.
If Harry thought something was up when he sat down by Louis’ side, so close their thighs touched, he didn’t say anything. He just picked up his cob of corn and bit into it, oblivious to everyone’s eyes on him.
After that conversation, though, Louis began noticing things.
Began noticing how it really was only when Louis’ mates approached them that Harry joined their hands, or when the two of them were together that Harry got quiet and clingy.
Harry spoke and joked around with other classmates all the time, but only when Louis was on the other side of the room or when Harry didn’t even notice Louis was nearby.
And it did something to his chest; made it ache in an unexplainable way.
Then he started noticing more, how Harry’s smile had a sort of domino effect with anyone he came into contact with, Louis included. How much he’d grown since he first started at their school, limbs changing from awkward and gangly to beautifully long and lithe, hair from a fuzzy mop of tight curls to smooth and shiny and effortlessly messy. He’d gone from cute and baby faced to handsome and sexy without Louis even noticing. And when Harry strode over to him after class one day, Louis could hear his own heart thumping in his ears. When did Harry become so bloody attractive? And when did he get so tall?
“So did you ask your Mum if she can give me a lift to Josh’s party Friday?” he asked, voice deep and slow as ever.
“Yeah,” Louis got out, and began the walk to their next class. “She said it’d be better if you could come to ours first so she doesn’t have to do a round trip.”
Harry stuck his lips out in a pout, and Louis couldn’t stop staring at them. Had they always been that pink and plump? “I can see if Gem can drop me over? Otherwise I dunno, Mum’s going out with friends straight after work remember? So she won’t be able to.”
“It should be fine, Mum said she can pick you up. Just she would rather not.” Louis assured him.
Then Harry’s hand slipped into his, and Louis had three seconds of complete confusion before he heard “Lou!” being shouted from someone ahead of them.
Louis looked away from their joined hands and spotted some of his mates from football, all grinning wide and laughing about something. Louis noticed a couple of them looking at his hand entwined with Harry’s, and without thinking he pulled it away.
“Hey!” he said, slapping his hand on Josh’s shoulder, the one that had just been touching Harry moments before.
“You two coming to mine Friday?”
“We were just talking about it!” Louis grinned. His cheeks were aching it was so wide and forced. “’course we are, it’s gonna be sick.”
“Yeah, will be. I’ll see you in Maths.” Josh replied, and when the lot of them left Louis finally looked to Harry.
Who was staring at his feet, eyebrows furrowed.
“Well,” Louis cleared his throat. “Guess we should be off to our classes then?”
“Yeah,” Harry frowned. “Guess so.”
—
Harry didn’t touch Louis for the rest of the week, didn’t take his hand or cuddle up to his side, and Louis was feeling the withdrawal.
His palm felt tingly whenever they were together, and on a few occasions Louis found himself reaching his hand out to take Harry’s until he caught himself and stopped.
Harry wasn’t acting any different besides that, still laughed and joked and sat by him at lunch like nothing was wrong, so Louis couldn’t exactly ask him what the matter was. He just had to deal with Harry not holding his hand any more, and he missed it so much. He wanted nothing more than for Harry to take his hand when they were walking through busy corridors. He needed Harry to cuddle to his side when Josh came over to their table to say hello. And it stung that Harry didn’t seem at all bothered by the change, was acting like nothing was different between them.
When Gemma dropped Harry around on Friday evening, Louis gave him a big hug as soon as he walked through the front door.
“What was that for?” Harry asked, smile strained and eyes wide.
“Just ‘cause. Missed you.”
Harry laughed and rolled his eyes, but Louis could see the pleased flush of his cheeks. “We just saw each other literally three hours ago.”
“Four, actually. That’s a long time.”
Harry just grinned and shook his head, and Louis beamed back.
It was how they were when Louis’ Mum came into the hallway, grinning at each other like idiots. “You two ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Louis said, ignoring the sudden wave of nerves that washed over him. The butterflies in his stomach were going haywire, he felt like he was about to be sick, but he told himself it was excitement. He and Harry were okay again.
But maybe they actually weren’t, because when they stepped through Josh’s front door and were greeted by a drunk group of Louis’ team mates, Harry remained cooly at his side, hands clasped together in front of him. He made no reach for Louis.
So Louis thought fuck it and grabbed Harry’s hand, dragging him through to the kitchen like he’d done at that very first party all those months ago. He got them both drinks with only one hand, refusing to let go of Harry’s in case he never got it back, then made his way back into the lounge room where everyone was scattered about.
There was a bit of free space in the corner of the room, so Louis dragged Harry over to it.
Only when he stopped moving did he realise how odd that was, to be wordlessly taking Harry with him wherever he wanted to go.
“Are you okay?” Harry asked, one eyebrow arched inquisitively.
“’course.” Louis said, voice cracking. He took a gulp of his beer and looked around the room, ignoring Harry’s confused stare.
“There’s not a reason you’ve got my hand?”
“Does there have to be a reason?”
“Is this about - are you mad at me?” Harry asked, and Louis felt Harry’s hand twitch in his.
It’s what made him finally look to Harry. Louis’ face softened when he saw just how scared Harry looked. “Of course not.”
“Well, are you making fun of me?”
“For what?”
Harry wrenched his hand free of Louis’ and crossed his arms. “What do you think?” When Louis didn’t say anything, he rolled his eyes and snapped “The hand holding! Is that what all this is about? You trying to make your friends laugh?”
“No, of course not! You know me, I would never make fun of you!”
“Then what are you doing? You never hold my hand. Not first, anyway.”
“Because I want to!”
“Why now? Why not the other day when your friends were around? That really hurt, you know? You rejected me in front of all of them, like you were embarrassed of me.”
“Of course I wasn’t! I just - got scared for a second. I miss it, Haz. I want it to be normal again.”
Harry looked down at the ground, then slumped his shoulders forward, obviously no longer on the defence. He looked like he’d already been defeated, though, and that wasn’t what Louis wanted.
“What is it?” he asked, when moments had passed and Harry still hadn’t said or done anything.
“I don’t want it to be normal though. I want something different.”
Louis frowned. “Oh.” He’d missed his chance. He was too slow cottoning onto what Harry wanted from him, and his mate had already moved on.
“I want - I like holding your hand because it looks like we’re boyfriends you know? And I like that people think that, I know they do because they always ask, and I can’t just keep pretending. I can’t keep holding your hand just because you miss it.”
“Oh,” Louis said again, feeling his cheeks widen quickly as a grin split his face. “Oh!”
“Can you say something proper, please?” Harry snapped.
“No! I mean, yes, I can. I just - I want that too! To be boyfriends, I mean. I think that would be amazing.”
And just as quickly as it had gone, Harry’s confusion was back. “What?”
“Let’s hold hands ‘cause we’re proper boyfriends! Let’s do it!”
Harry blinked. “What?”
“Jesus, Harry.” Louis groaned. “Let’s try being more than friends. You’re gorgeous and funny and perfect for me and I think we should be more.”
“Oh.”
“Can you say something proper please?” Louis mocked, and that made Harry finally grin.
“Okay.”
“Okay, you’ll say something proper? Or Okay you’ll try going out with me?”
“Both? Both. Let’s - if you really really want to?”
“Yes, Harry, for fuck’s sake!” and with that Louis took both Harry’s hands in both of his own and kissed him there in front of everyone.