Archive of Our Own

The Kazekage was a simple man with simple wishes. One of those wishes involved the strong urge to ignore the glowing scroll nearby. If it wasn't for the fact that the eventual Chakra pulses would give him a headache and make other ninja think they're being attacked, he would let it be, but as it is...

Opening the damn scroll it is.

'Is everyone present? This is earth.'

'Water is present.'

'Lightning is on.'

Well then. Guess he's the last one to open his scroll. The lightning one looked rather fresh though, so he wasn't all that late.

A pity.

'Wind is here as well.'

The sharp edges of the Mizukage's writing bloomed into view after his own confirmation of his presence.

'What did earth call this meeting for?'

Now the Tsuhikage's textbook like one was the one making its presence known. The answer really really made him want to shut the scroll and burn it with fire.

'Any news on Konoha? Have they settled down?'

He raised an eyebrow.

'If you mean have they stopped being crackheads, that'd be a no. Last I heard the Hokage's brother managed to seal away a mountain while on eight cups of coffee or more with the help of his sister in law.'

The Raikage's flowing handwriting followed after his own, as fast as always and still somehow comprehensible.

'Was this after or before he kidnapped the niece of earth's daimyo?'

'I think before. Not so sure where that fits in with the Uchiha head setting fire to the wind daimyo's favorite plant.'

'That happened last week, he's still banned. Think he might be sent to lightning next so a fair warning.'

'Oh shit, I'll have to inform the daimyo after this-'

'I heard their Hokage got invited to a drinking competition by water's daimyo?'

'Judging by the garden that now consumes half of his palace, I'd think that's correct. I'm a bit worried about what that woman might have planned there though, it's been suspiciously quiet despite her involvement.'

'Anyone got any news from yesterday?'

'I did get a report, but most of it is my spy begging me to take them out of this mission. I think there's something in there about terrifying angels or something?'

'... Anyone volunteering for the next invasion?'

'Would you look at the time! Dinners going to get cold before I get my hands on it!'

'I apologize, a new batch of paperwork came in.'

'I have a meeting coming up. Bye!'

'Cowards!'

'I like my sanity, thank you very much. If you don't want yours go ahead and do the invasion yourself.'

The silence was telling. With a smirk at the ending, but a very firm understanding that he's not getting anywhere near Konoha for the next few decades, he got back to his multiplying piles of paperwork.

They breed like rabbits.