Work Text:
(Remus):
oh god kill me now
why am i like this
This was all Lily’s fault. Remus was perfectly content being alone. Sure, he’d had a string of bad dates (every last one a result of a dreadful dating app that Remus never should’ve been on in the first place, but that idea was James’ fault), but he was fine with leaving it at that. He didn’t need to make up for all those bad dates with one that would potentially be even worse. After all, Lily wouldn’t even let him know what this guy looked like, wouldn’t tell him anything except his first name. Granted, it was an adorable first name, but he’d also gone out with a Rohan (who got Lord of the Rings reference bonus points right out of the gate) and that had probably been the worst fucking date of his life. He was still trying to get the red wine out of that linen shirt that Lily had insisted he wear. And it was a lot of wine.
He didn’t wear a linen shirt today. In fact, just in case a tray of red wine ended up getting accidentally dumped all over him again, he wore a maroon shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbow, and he brought along his black hooded jacket, despite the fact that it was unseasonably warm for October. He dressed in his best black trousers, too, should Lily decide that he wasn’t giving this his best effort.
(Lily):
Spill it.
(James):
WHAT HAPPENED MOONY
DID YOU MEET HIM
IS HE HIDEOUS
(Lily):
He’s not hideous.
He’s extremely attractive.
You know this.
(James):
i’m kidding
of course i know
good looks run in that family
if you get my meaning
(Lily):
We get it, James.
Your boyfriend is stupid hot.
Nobody cares.
(Pete):
I care
I haven’t met him yet
(Remus):
I haven’t met him yet either, Pete
That was part of the problem. James wouldn’t even let Remus see a photo of this new bloke he was dating, some hottie he’d met at the garage where James worked (who apparently drives a motorcycle and wears a leather jacket and that’s 88% of the reason he’s so hot, according to James). And the reason James (and his co-conspirator, Lily) wouldn’t let Remus see a photo of James’ new boyfriend was because he looked so much like his younger brother – the guy they were trying to set Remus up with.
Which was why Remus was on the 5 o’clock to The Lake District in a nice (safe) maroon shirt and his best black trousers, because Lily (and James) didn’t want him to screw this up. However, they were apparently oblivious to the fact that Remus had given up on dating at the age of twenty-nine (and he was still twenty-nine, so it’s obvious how long that lasted with his meddling but well-intending friends), and they were not at all accounting for the fact that Remus hated traveling by train (because of the proximity of other people), and just blatantly ignoring how awkward Remus was in social situations (which was how he got an entire tray full of red wine dumped onto himself at his last nightmare of a date as he tried to make a rather hasty retreat). So, really, this whole fucking thing was Lily’s fault. And James’ fault. So far, however, (though most suspiciously, if Remus was being honest), Pete was blameless and angelic.
(Pete):
Wait, I missed something
Why do you want us to kill you?
Oh hang on nvm you’re on the train now
I didn’t even need to ask honestly
You did something super fucking weird
Alright, maybe Pete was not as blameless and angelic as Remus had given him credit for, because apparently, he thrived on Remus’ misery. He knew he never should’ve agreed to this as soon as he got on this train. He should’ve just waved to his friends from the station and gotten off on the very next stop. He should’ve just stood this guy up like he’d been stood up on the last three out of seven dates.
(Remus):
you rotten bastard
why do you automatically assume that
what does this have to do with me being on the train
(Pete):
I mean
You get weird on trains
(Lily):
You do hate trains.
(James):
it was inevitable that you’d do something weird
(Remus):
NAME ONE OTHER THING
(Pete):
Played THE MAN by Taylor Swift full blast
before realizing your earbuds weren’t connected
(Lily):
Dropped your lunch bag,
Which was in a glass bowl,
Full of day-old soup.
(James):
that time you smacked a baby
(Remus):
i did not smack that baby
it … moved into the path of my hand
and i apologized profusely.
the mum forgave me
it was fine
(Pete):
I think our point has been made
(Lily):
Now, just tell us what you did.
(James):
so we can fucking laugh at you
When he’d first gotten on the train, just a few minutes before making a fool out of himself, there was a single bright spot in the otherwise dim of the day, and that was the impossibly good-looking bloke that was sitting across from him. Whatever James’ boyfriend looked like, he couldn’t be half as attractive as this guy. He was so stunning, in fact, that Remus found himself a little caught up in glancing over at him, trying (and likely failing) to be discreet as he admired him. There was a book in the space between his thighs, where his ankle was crossed over the opposite knee, and as he read to himself, his lips moved silently with the unspoken words on his tongue. He wore a matte black pair of expensive-looking oxford shoes over an even more expensive-looking light grey suit, but without the tie, collar unbuttoned.
From where his head was bowed forward to see the page, the soft curls of his otherwise short, jet-black hair swept over the lenses of his gold-rimmed glasses, and he absently brushed his fingers across his forehead every so often to move them back into place. The sun was behind Remus and when the train moved out from behind the trees, it flashed over the stranger’s face in a strobing pattern, highlighting the dusting of freckles that decorated the bridge of his nose. With the sun in his eyes, he looked up to squint in the direction of the incoming light with the most striking silver eyes Remus had ever seen in his life.
Once, the handsome bloke had caught Remus’ stare, and Remus had responded with the typical, awkward smile that one gives to strangers on a train (especially when that stranger caught him staring), but the stranger surprised Remus by offering a genuine smile in return, all closed pink lips and deep dimple puckering the corner of his mouth. There must’ve been a blush on Remus’ cheeks when that smile hit him, because it only seemed to deepen on the stranger’s face in response as he went back to his book.
If Remus wasn’t such a disaster, he could probably strike up a conversation with this bloke, ask him what he did for a living, get him talking about the book he was reading, compliment him on his exceptional suit with no tie that was unbuttoned down to the third button and displaying the prominent lines of his slender, elegant throat. And that last thing was exactly why he couldn’t risk talking to this bloke, for fear he would say something to embarrass himself. Like comment on how gorgeous he was.
This was why his dating life was such a clusterfuck. In general, Remus was just a nervous person, but around someone who he considered much more attractive than he was? He was a wreck, an absolute car crash. His tongue would get tangled on two words (he once couldn’t decide between duck or pork banh mi, and he’d blurted out fuck me in the middle of a Vietnamese restaurant), or he’d knock over something on the table (a candle, one time, that caught the tablecloth on fire), or he’d say things without his usual, excessive screening (like the time he told his date that he reminded Remus of his dead dad).
As he considered all of this, his eyes glazed over and he stared at a fixed, seemingly random spot on the train, convincing himself that he didn’t have a chance in hell with a guy this attractive, in a suit that cost that much money. He must’ve been staring a long time and, unfortunately for him, the place his eyes had randomly chosen to fixate upon had been on the face of the handsome stranger. Apparently just as he’d started staring, the handsome stranger had put away his book and traded it for … a banana.
Of course, Remus only discovered that this had all transpired when the stranger, having noticed that Remus was staring at him as he bit into his fruit, reached across the aisle with his half-peeled banana and wordlessly offered Remus the second bite. And Remus didn’t pause to consider the implications.
(Remus):
and for some GOD-AWFUL reason
i just bent forward and took a bite
and now I don’t know what to do
i hate my life
(Lily):
REMUS
WHAT THE FUCK
I just fell out of my chair laughing
(James):
OH MY GOD I AM CHOKING
(Pete):
On the banana?
(Remus):
oh god i should move seats
(Pete):
You don’t even like bananas????
(Remus):
I KNOW
(James):
OH GOD THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH BETTER
(Lily):
Remus, I love you.
I’m so sorry.
I realize we are probably not helping.
(Remus):
you’re not
oh my god
i didn’t even say please
(Pete):
THAT’S what you’re worried about???
(Remus):
yes
and now i have to go on a blind date
with a random man’s banana juice germs in my mouth
(James):
that sounds like a euphemism
(Lily):
James, shut up.
I literally don’t know how to make this better.
(Remus):
come and murder me at the next stop
(Pete):
Okay wait I have questions
Did he say anything after??
Did he continue to eat it??
Like. I need answers, moony.
Just after taking a bite of the now infamous banana, Remus only had the clarity to see the wildly amused expression on the stranger’s face before he realized what he’d done. As he leaned back into his seat, chewing deliberately and with great concern, he noticed that the stranger continued to eat the banana, even after Remus had taken a bite from it. Maybe it was with the same politeness that Remus continued to chew, because wouldn’t that be incredibly rude? To take a bite of the fruit that was offered (without even saying please) and then immediately spit it out? And what would he spit it out into, even?
So, he swallowed, silently, noticing that the stranger was just as silent, but he was now watching Remus with a renewed curiosity. Of course he was, because what kind of a person would accept the second bite of a banana from a stranger on the train? Then again, who would offer it in the first place?
(Remus):
he said NOTHING.
and yes
he continued to eat it
and now we’re both on our phones
(James):
wait
did he look at you while he finished it???
what a way to try to pick someone up tbh
(Remus):
no thank god he did not
that would’ve made it so much worse
he IS NOT trying to pick me up
(Lily):
You have to talk to him.
I’m BEGGING YOU.
(Remus):
oh fuck no
absolutely not.
(Pete):
You could at least say thank you?
(Remus):
whyyyyyyy in god’s name would I say thank you
i probably have banana covid now
(James):
BANANA COVID
I’M WHEEZING
(Lily):
Oh my GOD.
I’m dying.
I am deceased.
When Remus looked up from his phone, it just so happened to be the same time his new friend looked up from his phone, and when their eyes met, the stranger smiled again, with that perfectly shaped dimple creating a perfectly shaped cavern in his perfectly shaped cheeks, and Remus felt a blush light up his entire face. Out of panic at the prolonged eye contact (and embarrassment at the current neon-sign state of his face), Remus did the only thing he could think of – he silently mouthed the words ‘thank you.’
The smile on the stranger’s face broadened to showcase his flawlessly white teeth and, unless Remus was mistaken, he lowered his head a bit in embarrassment. However, when he glanced back up, Remus was sure it was the exact opposite of that. Because he didn’t lift his head to look back – instead, he blinked at Remus from over the tops of his gold-wire frames, all dark, fluttering lashes and wide, cinder eyes, and if Remus didn’t know better, he would say that he was on the receiving end of flirtation.
And Remus was terrible at flirting. He wasn’t bad at being flirted with, necessarily, but he was the worst at flirting back. So, he did the only thing he knew he could safely do, without making a fool of himself, and that was smile. If he didn’t speak a word, he couldn’t get them mixed up. If he didn’t move, he couldn’t knock anything over (or smack another baby). But the silent smiling made him nervous, and when he got nervous, he always ran his fingers through his hair. This time was no different. He did it without even realizing it, a movement without thought, absent and mechanical. Of course, with Remus as the champion of Murphy’s Law, this would be the perfect time for his watch to get caught in his hair.
He didn’t even bother to look over at the handsome stranger as he struggled, quite embarrassingly, to free the links of his metal watch from the coiled tendrils of his hair, with only one hand and unable to see anything because his wrist was perched ridiculously on top of his head. With his eyes closed (to pretend that none of this was happening), he felt a soft touch against his forearm, and he couldn’t help but wince, knowing whose face he would see when he opened his eyes. Still, he had no choice. A splash of pink across his cheeks, Remus opened his eyes and glanced up (while trying to keep his head still, so that his watch wouldn’t trap itself any further within his hair). There was a curious smile on the face of his new friend as he leaned down slightly so that he could look into Remus’ face a bit better.
In the mildest, most gracious tone, the man spoke, and his voice was better than Remus could’ve imagined – deeper than the widened pupil in the center of his silver eyes, softer than the curls ghosting over the lenses of his gold-rimmed glasses, even more genuine than the tender smile on his face.
“May I?” he asked sweetly in that charismatic voice, under a sophisticated accent, gesturing to Remus’ watch with elegant fingers that looked like they belonged stretched over the keys of a piano. Of course, Remus was lacking in anything clever to say, trapped by the allure of this mercurial gaze, the calming lull of this sultry voice, the reassuring quirk of his lips and the dimple that lived nearby.
Because Remus could do nothing but nod, he did so, only realizing afterward that his watch was still stuck in his hair, and when he moved at all, it only yanked sorely at the roots. As he let out a quiet but still audible ‘ow’ at his self-made discomfort, there was a stifled laugh from the lips of his hair-saviour, and Remus very nearly let out a blissful sigh at the sound, equally as audible but twice as mortifying.
With Remus still raising his eyes upward toward this benevolent stranger, the man leaned forward to get a better look at the tangled mess of Remus’ hair, putting his chest very near to Remus’ face. In fact, if Remus were to lean forward, just a bit more, he could easily place his upturned lips to this man’s elegant, kissable throat. Instead of doing something else super fucking weird (as Pete would say), he let his nervous breath out through pursed lips, in an effort to blunt it, to keep it from making any sort of noise that could potentially misconstrued as a sigh or a moan or other vocalizations of pleasure.
Suddenly, the man spoke again, saying, “Keep blowing into my ear like that and I may never let you leave,” and Remus immediately flushed a colour that could surely only be described as neon pink.
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t –” Remus began to stammer out an apology, already realizing he was being deliberately flirted with, but having absolutely no idea how to respond but to apologize.
At that moment, the stranger with the sterling eyes pulled back slightly, wearing a subdued but victorious smile, holding Remus’ hand out between them to showcase the fact that he’d freed Remus’ watch from his hair. And for a strangely long time, they remained still, locked in place, eyes searching.
Just as Remus gathered the courage to shift his hand, to slide his wrist out from within the stranger’s fingertips, to boldly place his own touch within the grip of the stranger, the train lurched to a stop. Though there was desperation in Remus’ expression at having to end this interaction without gaining any more information about this individual, the smile on the stranger’s face told a different story.
“See you around, love,” he said in that melodious voice, with that curious smirk, dimple deepening at the corner of his lips. Their hands lingered together for a moment as the man slipped away, leaving Remus outstretched longingly in his direction. And Remus couldn’t quite convince himself to do something as silly as chase after a stranger he met on the 5 o’clock to The Lake District. Until he realized this was also his stop. In a hurry, he stood, but there were so many people exiting the car that he couldn’t get through right away. By the time he reached the platform, the man was no longer in sight.
With a disappointed sigh and a glance at his watch, he realized he had a little time before he was supposed to meet his stupid blind date, so he took a seat on a bench close to the platform.
(Remus):
banana-covid-guy was flirting with me
(James):
did you flirt back???
(Lily):
Yes, did you flirt with the rando you met on the train?
On your way to your pre-established date?
That sounds like such a solid plan. Really.
(Pete):
Ah let him live
The blind date might not even pan out
(James):
that’s true
after all regulus looks just like sirius
so remus is 1000% going to be a nervous wreck
(Remus):
i mean
give me a LITTLE credit
rando on the train thought i was hot
(Pete):
Obviously
If he offered you his banana
Innuendo intended
(James):
still not sure why you accepted
but you are who you are
(Pete):
And who you are is a fucking weird guy
(Remus):
thank you both so much
(Pete):
You never did tell us if you actually spoke to Banana-Covid-Guy
(Remus):
Um
(James):
oh you made it worse didn’t you
(Lily):
By that reaction, he definitely made it worse.
(Remus):
i got my watch stuck in my hair
(Pete):
Oh my god
(Remus):
but he helped me get it out??
(James):
aw you must’ve looked so helpless and sad
(Remus):
i mean probably yeah
but there was flirty banter
(Pete):
Wait did you get this bloke’s number??
(Remus):
uhhh
no
wish i had
sort of chased after him a bit
(Lily):
Please don’t tell me you’re going to bail on Regulus.
Just so that you can hunt down some bloke from the train.
Who MAY OR MAY NOT have flirted with you.
(Remus):
shut up, i know when i’m being flirted with
and no. unfortunately for me, i’m still going to the date
but i’m going to be absently daydreaming the whole time
about banana-covid-guy
(James):
trust me when you see regulus
you won’t remember banana covid guy
With a sigh of defeat, Remus glanced at his watch again. He only had about ten minutes to make it to the café down the street. The sooner he got it over with, the sooner he could go home. Maybe if he was lucky (really impossibly lucky), he would get back on the train after this surely disastrous date to find his mysterious stranger was taking the very same train back home. Well, he could daydream about it.
As he walked down to the café, he tried his best to smooth down his unruly hair (which had recently had his own watch stuck in it, so he smoothed it down with his unwatched hand), thinking about the way the kind stranger had smiled at him, laughed at him, held his hand, gazed into his eyes. The regret in the pit of his stomach was only growing, so he tried to put it out of his mind. It was unsuccessful.
The café was just ahead, tables for two on the patio where people in love were leaned much too far across the table toward each other. As Remus raised his head to look for the table with the bouquet of gardenia, the tell-tale sign of his table with Regulus (having been given no identifying features about him from either James or Lily, as they said it would ruin the anticipation), he was surprised to find that table already occupied. So surprised, in fact, that he stopped, unseen, some distance away from the café.
But those familiar silver eyes spotted him rather quickly, that characteristic smirk turning up one corner of his lips, the one that left a dimple in the same cheek. Remus could feel his mouth hanging open but couldn’t convince himself to say anything to fill the space. Instead, he walked forward wordlessly.
“My brother refused to show me your photo,” the man from the train said in that softly charismatic voice, crossing his fingers under his chin and smiling up as Remus approached the table. “But, well, there aren’t a lot of people in the world named Remus. I may have stalked your Instagram a bit,” he added, taking a sip of the concentrated coffee from the small, glass espresso cup on the table.
“Wait, you …” Remus started as realization set in. “You knew the whole time, didn’t you?”
“From the moment you stepped onto the train,” Regulus said with an arrogant, but amused smirk that rested against the lip of his espresso cup. “Why do you think I didn’t ask for your number?”
“Because I’m …” he paused to let out a sigh, “extremely awkward?”
“It’s rather endearing, actually. Plus, you’re very cute.” Remus felt his skin light up with a blush.
“Thank you,” Remus begrudgingly accepted. “But even you can’t dispute my awkwardness.”
“Well, you are still standing,” Regulus observed, still wearing that smirk. “You can sit, if you like.”
“Oh, good God.” With pink cheeks, Remus quickly took his seat. “I’m sorry.”
With a soft laugh, Regulus reached out to take Remus’ hand from across the table. “Remus, I’m going to be completely honest with you. I was not looking forward to this date. Dreading it, actually.”
“Maybe I should make my Instagram private,” Remus said with a playful wince, and was quite relieved when he got to see that bashful smile that he saw on the train, all glimmering teeth and dimples.
“Your Instagram is adorable,” Regulus amended with a clear of his throat and an attractive splash of pink across his freckled cheeks. “What I mean is I’m not good at dates. Blind dates, especially.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Remus grinned, letting his thumb slide into Regulus’ palm. “From what I saw on the train, you’re very good at flirting.” With a raised brow that spiked up over the golden rims of his round glasses, Regulus looked up to meet Remus’ gaze. And for once, Remus didn’t look away.
“You’re easy to flirt with,” he said, the slight curl of his lips subtly displaying his dimple.
“I don’t know why,” Remus laughed. “But I’m happy to let you flirt with me some more.” In the short silence before Regulus’ reply, his fingers drifted up a little further over Remus’ sensitive wrist, and it elicited a slight shiver in Remus’ shoulders that he couldn’t stifle (as Regulus noticed with a smile).
“I might only be good at flirting on trains,” Regulus said, apprehension in his gaze. And maybe it was because Regulus had already seen him at his absolute most awkward, or maybe it was because Regulus made flirting seem so easy, or maybe it was because of the way Regulus’ thumb softly and steadily stroked the inside of his wrist, but for once in his life, Remus knew the exact thing to say.
“The last train isn’t until midnight. Maybe you can practice on me until then. If you like,” he said, trying on that trademark smirk that Regulus wore like an accessory. The smile Remus received in response was nothing like that smirk. It was softer, warmer, gentler. Most of all, it was affectionate.
“Well, I expected this date to go terribly, so I have plans,” Regulus said with a playful sigh, the mischief in his expression giving him away. “I was going to go have dinner alone at the bistro around the corner, have a pity drink at the pub across the street, then get some dessert from the bakery close to the train station to take home and eat by myself.” When Regulus didn’t continue, Remus gave him a blithely impatient smile and pinched the skin between his forefinger and thumb. “Alright, no need to resort to violence, obviously I was going to invite you to come with me. I mean, if you’ve got nothing better to do.”
“As long as we’re back at the station before the last train home,” Remus said, smiling fondly at Regulus from across the table and squeezing his hand just a little bit more. A pleasant flutter moved into his chest as Regulus smiled back, pulling Remus’ hand closer to him. “I’m meeting someone there.”