Chapter Text
It still feels like a dream, almost. A kind of story you’d see in an end-of-the-world sci-fi movie, the beginning of the end. It felt like someone had tried really hard to let their imagination run and ended up with the present. It’s now almost a week to the date since Min Yoongi, hotshot producer, had become Min Yoongi, professional couch potato. At least he thinks it’s been a week. Having no aim to get up out of bed has sort of rendered him unable to comprehend the series of dates on his phone. He also doesn’t know when the lines blurred between his previous title and the current one. If he had to guess, like forced to walk through a river in winter if he didn’t answer, he might have an inkling why he became so. Just a tiny hunch. The worldwide pandemic? Highly probable. Oh, would you look at that, professional couch potato Min Yoongi has some wits about him, even if what he’s been actively trying to do for the last week (hopefully) has been trying to muster enough strength to leave his work area of a couch to his actual home studio so he can regain his hotshot producer title.
It’s been about a month since the government officially declared that they’ve now entered a pandemic situation in their country too, halting all non-essential operations and launching an immediate plan to initiate home quarantining and lockdowns, in order to battle the rising Covid-19 virus. This meant that Yoongi simply had to shift all his work to his home studio. He was glad for his flexible options then. He’d had like an hour’s warning before lockdowns were instated country wide. He had packed up all his things, sent off some last-minute emails, received a last hug from Hobi and Joon, before he locked up his sanity in hindsight, and came back home.
A few days into the lockdown, the government also announced social distancing measures, the need for wearing masks and stopping all human contact. Knowing that Hobi’s hug was his last human contact was not helping Yoongi quell his anxiety. While his past self was absolutely ecstatic over the fact that he could finally afford his own apartment and avoid the concept of noisy invading roommates altogether, he might come to regret it now just a little. The empty cups of ramyeon strewn under his table, his soju bottles that were cleared to find a semblance of comfort from the confusion and anger flowing through him for things out of his control almost seemed to mock him. Maybe a roommate would have reminded him to look out after himself, and let him hear the cadences of an actual human voice. Being a producer, lilting melodies, unpolished hums, deep riffs are his daily life. The music that once used to comfort him seems almost like a burden to get back to.
He’s had his fair share of producer blocks, so he thinks he should just go with the flow and hope his mind understands to dislodge itself from this funk. If only it would be sooner than later so he could go back to having his mediocre hours of sleep according to his “normal” routine. These days, his late nights have not been spent trying to figure out the perfect combinations between alternating beats. More like he’d been contemplating where exactly the world had come to a standstill and trying to act like he hasn’t been outright lying to Joon and Hobi on their group chat, acting like his absence was because these frustrating times have inspired himself to cope by angry rapping. He can already picture the understanding look that Hobi’s eyes would have if he actually sees how Yoongi had been faring. It’s possible the universe has selective hearing of personal thoughts because his phone lights up from its new designated position a little south of where his palms graze the carpet beneath his couch with a cheerful message from Namjoon about a scheduled video call to catch up with each other.
“Hyung! Hyung, there are streaks of flour on your face!” The childish glee emanating from Jimin, clearly not lost through the shitty internet connection, fills up the drab corners of his apartment. Seokjin can’t help the swell of utter fondness that rushes through him, knowing that his beloved friend Jimin has not lost his spirits to be dimmed by something like a worldwide pandemic. Maybe it’s because he has Jungkook to keep him company.
Not regarding his obviously flour dusted hands, Seokjin cups his hands around his face in his signature flower pose. “And doesn’t hyung still look as handsome as ever, Jimin-ah?”
“You’re ridiculous hyung. There’s more flour on your face and clothes than in that dough.”
“At least I have a dough to show, Jimin. What is Jungkook even doing back there? Is it just me or is he having an intense staring contest with the eggs in that bowl?”
“That’s because he is, hyung.” Jimin replies solemnly. “He’s kindly requesting the eggs not to be rotten.”
“You know you can know if they’re rotten by their smell or change in colour, right?” Seokjin can’t believe this is what he’s stuck with.
Jungkook’s assured timbre can be heard from the far side of the kitchen. “It doesn’t hurt to be respectful, hyung.”
“Yah! When have you ever been respectful to me? It might be a month since I last met you, but I swear that your last farewell punch, who even does that, it still hurts a bit!”
“Oh, that’s nothing to do with my well aimed punch hyung. It’s all to do with your aging body, you old man.”
“Insufferable, is what you are, Jungkook.”
“Okay, okay, that’s enough. I know both of you won’t stop any time soon. Hyung, did you speak to Taehyung recently? We spoke to him yesterday.”
Ah yes. Taehyung. Seokjin’s goofy but wonderful roommate that’s not with him right now. The lockdown was imposed just as Taehyung had reached Daegu while going to visit his parents and grandparents. Naturally, he had to stay there, with Seokjin on his own in Seoul.
“Yes, yes, I had a call with him last night. He’s really enjoying his time there. I’m glad he’s there, he rarely gets to stay this long with his parents normally.”
“Yeah, hyung, he deserved a break anyway. He had been working hard the last couple of months. Okay, so what should I do next, hyung?”
“If Jungkook has finished his negotiations with those lovely eggs, you can add them slowly to the dry ingredients, one at a time, and whisk them in, Jimin-ah.”
Seokjin grabbed the last of his golden brown cookies out of the oven and set them out to cool. Jimin and Jungkook had got bored by the never ending ramyeon marathons at their place and valiantly decided to tackle baking cookies for a change of pace. Knowing that Seokjin barely has anything to pass his time, they decided to bake together, through a conference call. Seokjin was glad that his bleak day had some sort of uplifting because of the two absolutely mischievous but loveable brats and had ended the call with a heavy heart. Looking through his cookies, he realises with a dull pang in his chest that he’s made way too much out of habit to share with Taehyung. Seokjin misses him dearly. Seokjin might be an introvert, but having an outgoing roommate meant that there was always sound ringing through their apartment, Taehyung telling animated stories from work while Seokjin happily prepares dinner for them, watching cooking shows that they both love or just having a quiet night to themselves with Taehyung’s jazz playlists for company.
Now that Taehyung was stuck at Daegu, Seokjin was a few days away from going crazy at the loss of actual human interaction within a seemingly endless month. Jimin and Jungkook call almost daily, being the only rays of light in otherwise murky days that surround Seokjin now. Being a successful and professional model meant Seokjin had varying schedules that always became an exciting challenge for him. It meant that he travelled to different studios, sometimes abroad, met different people and embodied a variety of themes and concepts where he could thrive.
Having this government mandated lockdown meant that Seokjin had to cancel all his upcoming shoots with no reassurance of a future date, leaving him unoccupied and lonely at his apartment. Being horribly single also contributes to this because he has no partner to check on him or for him to call after. This meant that Seokjin was left with yet another lonely night, legs propped up haphazardly on the sofa, munching comfort cookies while watching the latest drama.
Today, Yoongi decided to “grab the day” or however the phrase supposedly goes. He still woke up in that liminal state of mind of trying to correlate reality as he knows it with the actual reality he lives in, but today he knew he had to take a step towards correcting the piteous state he’s in. Hoseok and Namjoon will call today and he can’t face them with an overgrown beard and shaggy hair. He won’t let them worry like that. They probably have enough on their plates with the changed circumstances. Which leads him to the shameful realisation that he hasn’t actually asked after how his friends are doing, simply opting to text them once a day to ensure that he is in fact still breathing. Well, that clearly has to change. Yoongi sits up straighter in bed, lightly slapping his cheeks to will the sleepiness away and gets down to work. He cleans up all the trash that had been decorating the rooms, sweeps and tidies everything up before he takes a nice relaxing bath with his favourite bath bomb to rejuvenate himself.
After fixing himself a quick lunch, Yoongi sets up his laptop and prepares himself for the scheduled call. Seeing Namjoon’s dimpled smile and Hoseok’s radiant laughter brings him a sense of relief to his cluttered mind, affirming that the world could change completely, but he could still count on these incredible people to have his back.
“Ah, it’s lovely to see your grumpy old face again, hyung! I thought you might’ve forgotten how to maintain your deadpan face.”
Hoseok might think that he’s joking, but it’s a little too close to the truth. Usually Yoongi wouldn’t open up this early into any conversation, but he’s trying to change his negative thinking and wants to vent and gain some unconditional support.
“To be honest, Hoba, hyung hasn’t been doing that well. I barely got off the couch in the past week and after some very sneaky convincing, I made myself clean up the house today so that I could face you guys with some dignity.”
Namjoon’s calm voice has to be recorded so he can replay and feel reassured whenever he needs it. “I’m glad you opened up hyung. I haven’t been faring that well either. I almost dropped one of my plants yesterday while thinking too much and it sort of shook me out of the headspace I was getting into.”
“While I’m glad that the company gave us time to get adjusted to everything, I’m feeling so restless. I pushed back all the furniture so I could dance a bit, and it felt so empty with none of the trainees to monitor and play around with.” Hoseok adds somberly, launching the three into a confessional corner.
It was easy to be vulnerable with these people that he considers his closest and dearest friends. They might call him a grandpa and constantly tease him over cosplaying a cat but they are also the ones who have had his back since that afternoon a long time ago when they were given quick introductions as the newly recruited staff of an almost bankrupt company, to build up their close to debut idol group. It had been long nights, tiring days, barely eaten meals and a slowly crumbling professional distance adamantly maintained by Yoongi that has led to an unbreakable friendship of almost a decade now. Now they’re the most sought after producers and choreographers with a multinational label that houses various levels of talent. It makes sense that this is when he’s going to catch a break, rest his weary soul and remind himself that there’s all the reasons in the world why he should open his eyes lively tomorrow, even if there’s a lot of things out of his control. They all end the call late in the night after virtually sharing a bottle or two and having a very interesting discourse on who can sing the highest note out of them (it’s Namjoon, including the light ear damage)
It’s both reassuring and unnerving the way the world has developed over time. People can get information at their fingertips, so knowledge about battling this unexpected disease is widespread, while baseless rumours are also spread at an identical speed.
Yoongi thinks he’s lucky enough to be here right now, compared to a few weeks earlier when he could barely go out to get groceries. There’s a lot of restrictions imposed, but they’re now able to step out of the house for a stipulated amount of time, to get necessities and for a walk around their particular bubble. You still had to mask up, use sanitizers and strictly maintain zero contact with other people, but it’s a win nonetheless. Yoongi barely had any human interaction even on a nice day, so avoiding people wasn’t anything out of his safe zone. He also couldn’t be called a person who required sunlight daily, fuelling rumours about an apparent vampirical gene because of his very pale complexion and high tendency to be locked up in his studio at all times of both day and night. In his defence, he can’t exactly control when his genius strikes and an unfinished track when he’s on a good flow is the stuff of nightmares, in his opinion. But being stuck at home for so long with only his rollercoaster thoughts as company, stepping out of the house is a luxury he doesn’t want to miss.
Yoongi knows how important creating routines is for his mindset, so he creates a foolproof plan where he leaves the house every three days to have a walk to the nearest park, listen to music or read a book he’s been putting off for ages by citing work as an excuse, photosynthesize a bit, admire the nature he loves so much but will never tell Namjoon and hope to set a time of healing and familiarity to his cluttered mind. He’s also slightly paranoid about being exposed to the disease, rightfully so, and makes the executive decision to have these walks at 7 am, even if it totally goes against his lifestyle of never being awake during that time. What Yoongi is reluctant to admit however is that with this pandemic, his nocturnal life has been totally upheaved wherein he has no actual need to stay up for so long when his home doubles as his studio, letting him finally create a sleep routine with acceptable hours that will fruition this plan of waking up by 7 a reality.
He’s secretly excited, to be honest. During a time where he had been struggling to accept reality, here was finally something in his control. He could create plans and actually execute something. After being filled with so much uncertainty for so long, it seemed to be a small silver lining that life will always find a way and humanity can always endure any downfall and move on. He couldn’t help but fantasise about his favourite spot at the park, a place that had been an escape to him on days when his studio felt too suffocating, a place that had given him clarity to create some of his best songs. The weathered bench right opposite the small fountain strategically hidden by the shade of the majestic trees of the park. Yoongi felt like a little kid with his secret headspace, but he was happy about being able to go back to a place with such nostalgia and fell asleep peacefully, feeling a serenity he hadn’t been able to experience in a while.
The thing with creating plans is that you can’t really account for the unexpected forces out of your control. Which is why Yoongi is here, 10 metres away from the bench that was to be his destination after a lovely walk surrounded by lovely flowers in bloom, hinting at the change in seasons with bird sounds to accompany him, staring at another man sitting on his bench, seemingly enjoying the view Yoongi aimed to bask in. He was frozen like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to do now that his perfect plan had been unexpectedly wrecked by an unassuming stranger. The constant safety reminders were ringing around in his head. Okay, before he makes any rash decisions, he should consider his options first. He could always leave and come back later, of course. But that would mean all his careful preparation, excitement and planning would be ruined, and he also didn’t know when this stranger or any others would be here. Second of all, no random stranger should stop him! He isn’t guilty of anything, he’s here to enjoy the morning and the serenity of the park. Considering the current situation, there is a government mandated excuse for no human interaction, meaning Yoongi can just act like this person is not sitting on his park bench.
Yoongi would have spent more time just standing there rationing his choices unless the stranger that had been conveniently closing his eyes and leaning on the bench suddenly straightened himself up and looked around, meeting Yoongi’s gaze similar to a slow motion sequence in a movie. The unexpected eye contact only lasted a few seconds because the stranger waved tentatively at Yoongi, breaking him from his reverie.
Heavily muffled by his black cloth mask that seemed to have some sort of print of a fluffy white, was that a marshmallow? Yoongi couldn’t really tell from where he was. The stranger broke the silence enveloping them.
“Oh, hi! I’m sorry, did you want to sit here too? I’m wearing a mask, you can see of course and I already sanitised my hands and the bench before I sat here! The bench is long enough to maintain the six feet distance, so if you want to sit here, go ahead, I don’t mind if you don’t!”
Well guess this man with broad shoulders has made Yoongi’s decision. He didn’t want to go home anyway, and the man seemed to be very protective, too. Yoongi mentally thanks whoever approved to have this abnormally long bench in a park and slowly makes his way towards it, after quickly nodding his head in response to the stranger. Seeing him move, the man quickly shifted farther to his right, leaving ample space for Yoongi.
While Yoongi initially thought the man seemed to be an enthusiastic speaker, considering he didn’t think twice about calling out to Yoongi whereas he himself would have rather not spoken at all, the man was unexpectedly silent the whole time he kept Yoongi’s company on that park bench. He stayed an hour or so more alongside him watching the rising sun and quietly enjoying the surrounding nature in his own way when he got up and sanitised his hands, turned to Yoongi and said a quick, “Well, goodbye then!” and left in a whirlwind. Silently thanking the man for not initiating any conversation, Yoongi forgot all about the kind stranger on his way back home.
It’s funny how he used to have such a busy life filled with schedules, appointments, fittings and photoshoots, but today the highlight of Seokjin’s day was meeting a man dressed in all black at the park. Seokjin was a morning person through and through. The entire process of getting up early in the morning before anyone else, deciding his outfits, double checking his itinerary, getting his face done and breakfast ready all before Taehyung wakes up gives him the time to settle into his day and face it head on. He woke up only a few hours late in this period where he’s stuck at home, exchanging his routines with meditation and exercise to make sure he didn’t disregard his body and not lose his sanity. When the regulations were changed to allow necessity purchases and two hours of outside exercise, it was an easy change to have a walk every day in the morning. This particular park was a little far, but Seokjin hadn’t been able to visit it before because he didn’t have sufficient free time and now he finally could. Which is how he ran into this particular stranger today.
Seokjin had never seen him before and frankly didn’t even notice him at first because he had his eyes closed shut, basking in the tranquility surrounding him. When he made eye contact with him, the man’s eyes seemed to be confused (masks were being really unhelpful) and there seemed to be no other purpose for the man to just stand there staring blankly except to sit on the same bench. Seokjin had heard of many people still not being careful even with numerous warnings and information and didn’t want to seem reckless, so he quickly assured the man that he took all the necessary precautions and offered space on the bench, it’s not like it belonged to him, anyway. The man didn’t utter a word the whole time he was there and getting the hint, neither did Seokjin, although he would have really loved to hear a voice that’s not carried through some sort of network. It wasn’t some sort of diary entry worthy interaction, but it’s a meeting of another human being in the wild, however anticlimactic it may have been and memorable enough during a time where he hasn’t been able to see any of his friends or colleagues. Seokjin wonders if he would meet the stranger again.
It seems that the man has selected days to come to the park because Seokjin doesn’t meet him the next day, but in another two days and three days after that too. Seokjin couldn’t help but introduce himself the second time they met, eager for some sort of conversation. But so far all he’s got as a reply was the man’s name, a few hums and grunts–that’s it. Seokjin reckons he’s a man of few words. But Min Yoongi has unexpectedly presented him with a challenge to crack this mysterious personality and Seokjin couldn’t be happier to engage himself in this new project, regardless of whether Min Yoongi actually knows about it, he better be prepared for the full Kim Seokjin experience.