Work Text:
Something about Kiyoomi’s boyfriend is off today.
Atsumu is loud and thrives in an environment high on energy. His laugh rivals thunder and his voice booms across the court whenever he gets excited; like his vocal cords are hooked on their own personal speakers. He’s moody, dramatic and a bit of a crybaby; but when something truly upsets him, he shuts down.
Loving Atsumu means being fluent in the way he carries himself, the way his tone fluctuates, the scrunch of his eyebrows and the quirks of his lips; it means knowing all the ways he exists like the back of his own hand, so Kiyoomi recognizes the signs early on.
It starts in the morning. Kiyoomi is usually the one to wake up first and go on about his routine before his boyfriend crawls out of their room, begging for a cup of coffee. However, Atsumu wakes up first today and when Kiyoomi gets out of bed, he isn’t in their apartment. It doesn’t worry him, Atsumu is perfectly capable of handling himself, so he makes his own breakfast and starts getting ready for practice. Atsumu comes back half an hour later, sweaty, and out of breath, and jumps in the shower before Kiyoomi has the chance to ask him about his run.
That’s the first red flag. Atsumu is talkative in the morning, he tells Kiyoomi about his dreams and speaks over cartoons playing in the background, he mumbles about their plans for the day; and he never forgets to give Kiyoomi a kiss. Today? Nothing but silence.
Kiyoomi doesn’t take it to heart, some mornings can be rough and he understands that; so he puts his worries to the side for now.
The second red flag shows up while the team stretches before practice. Hinata and Bokuto chatter about their evenings with their respective boyfriends and then move on to excitedly sharing ideas for combo attacks and the like. Usually, Atsumu pitches in with his own opinions and teases them here and there. When Kiyoomi looks at his boyfriend, he’s silent, and his nose is scrunched all the way up, his eyebrows tense.
Coach Foster calls them over to begin drills, but Kiyoomi gently grabs Atsumu's hand and pulls him aside.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“M’fine, Kiyoomi. Thanks,” he replies dismissively before rushing to join their teammates in the middle of the court.
Third red flag. Atsumu never calls him “Kiyoomi”, it’s always “Omi” or another term of endearment Kiyoomi’s learned to love so much, but never his full name.
That’s when he starts to worry a bit more. Has he done something to upset him? He replays this morning in his head, as well as last night, but nothing concerning pops up. They had dinner, watched a movie, went through their skin care routine together before going to bed where they cuddled until Kiyoomi fell asleep on Atsumu’s shoulder. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary then, and Atsumu usually communicates pretty well when Kiyoomi’s truly pissed him off, so something else must’ve happened in between.
Maybe he had a fight with Osamu, or Suna. Maybe he's heard bad news from Hyogo. Maybe it's something else entirely.
Kiyoomi decides to give him some space. Atsumu is an emotional being, he could just be needing time to process whatever's going on, and Kiyoomi doesn’t want to invade — so he waits, but makes sure to keep himself one step behind him; just in case.
Practice goes relatively well, Atsumu isn’t at the top of his form but he’s quick to make up for his mistakes. When Meian kindly asks him if something’s up, he brushes him off and apologizes for letting himself fall behind. The captain answering by assuring him that he knows one practice won't rattle him, Atsumu replies with a strained smile.
Kiyoomi notices that he keeps rubbing his ears, and scratching his throat; that he doesn’t initiate group huddles or high fives. Maybe he's fallen ill. He decides to wait until they're alone to properly ask him about what's going on.
At lunch, Atsumu rejects the team’s offer to get food with them and decides to stay on the court, so Kiyoomi quickly drops by the nearest convenience store to get them something to eat before joining him. Atsumu silently accepts the sandwich and the soft drink, but puts them aside; making no move to touch them whatsoever.
“Baby,” he says with a concerned sigh, “talk to me.”
“S’nothin’ to talk about.”
Kiyoomi puts his own food to the side and scoots closer to him, gently cupping his face.
“You’re upset, and I can’t help you unless you tell me why.”
“It’s stupid and I don’t-”
“You’re not a bother to me and you never will be,” Kiyoomi tilts his chin up, “so talk to me.”
Atsumu ducks his head and inhales deeply before sighing and looking up at Kiyoomi.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Kiyoomi asks, making sure to keep his voice as gentle as possible.
This seems to be the last straw because the question has Atsumu promptly bursting into tears.
Kiyoomi’s heart breaks, there’s nothing he hates more than seeing him genuinely cry. He wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer to his chest. Atsumu immediately tucks his head under his chin, clutching his arms like a lifeline.
Kiyoomi lets him cry, whispering reassurances him that he’s here and that he’s not going anywhere. Atsumu sobs into his neck, tears and snot falling and staining his jersey but the potential mess is the last thing on Kiyoomi's mind. He rubs his back in soothing motions and, between comforting words, drops gentle kisses the top of his head.
Eventually, the crying dies down and Atsumu pulls back to rub at his irritated eyes. Kiyoomi grabs a pack of tissues from his bag next to him and hands them over.
“Are you ready to talk about what’s upsetting you? It’s okay if you’re not, I’m here with you either way.”
“C-Can we go home?” Atsumu hiccups.
“Of course, my love.”
Atsumu nods in relief and gets up. Kiyoomi shoots a quick text to the team to let them know he’ll be taking Atsumu home and gathers their stuff before guiding him to his car.
When they get home, Atsumu drops himself on the couch with a quiet sigh and Kiyoomi is quick to join him.
“How about a bath, mh? You can warm up and then we can do whatever, we can nap or watch a show or play a game. Does that sound good?”
Atsumu nods and Kiyoomi kisses his forehead before heading to the bathroom. He lets the water run all the while a bunch of oils and dissolving soaps he knows Atsumu finds comforting. He prepares him a change of clothes and fresh towels, and calls him over when he finds the temperature hot enough. Atsumu joins him and undresses quickly, humming contently when the water hits him.
“Can ya stay with me?” he asks him before Kiyoomi can leave.
“Anything you want.”
Kiyoomi kneels next to the bathtub and grabs Atsumu’s favorite shampoos. He spends the next half hour massaging his hair, his shoulders, his hands. He traces love letters on his palms and fingertips, doodles poetry onto his scalp and shoulders; trying to imbue as much of his love as he can onto his skin.
The water soon turns cold and Kiyoomi ushers him out of the tub. He drains it and cleans it while Atsumu dresses. He quickly washes himself up and changes into more comfortable clothes before joining Atsumu in the bedroom. He crawls under the blankets and Atsumu settles on his side, a hand wrapped around his middle while the other plays with the hem of the covers.
“Ya know when ya wake up and ya jus’ feel that today’s gonna be shitty?” Atsumu asks quietly.
Kiyoomi only hums in agreement, giving him the chance to elaborate.
“When I woke up,” he sighs, “the light was hurtin’ my eyes and the idea of gettin’ breakfast made me feel sick, and the water was too cold, and the fridge was too loud and my hands were... buzzin’ and everythin’ was so much…”
Kiyoomi slightly shifts to the side to face him, bringing his hands to rest on Atsumu’s as he waits for him to continue.
“I went for a run ‘cause I thought I’d feel better, but then my sweat was too much and my clothes were itchy and it felt like somethin’ was in my throat, and I couldn’t- I couldn’t talk without wantin’ to scream.”
He blinks more tears away and clears his throat, using the moment to gather his thoughts.
“Sometimes, everythin’ around me makes me wanna scream like- like it’s suffocatin’, and I jus’ wanna cry, and cry until I sleep… And sometimes, there’s a voice in my head that tells me I’m already too much so I don’t tell ya, or anyone ‘cause I don’t want ya to leave ‘cause I’ll end up alone and-“
“Baby," Kiyoomi gently interrupts, "breathe. It’s okay, I’m here.”
Atsumu snaps his eyes shut and takes a shaky inhale.
“That’s good, now out and then in again.”
Kiyoomi helps him through a few rounds until Atsumu’s breathing regulates back to normal.
“Do you want an answer, or did you just need to vent a little?”
Atsumu shrugs but the look in his eyes tells Kiyoomi he needs to hear something.
“What you’re describing sounds a lot like sensory overload, we can look more into it if you’d like and then we can ask someone for help if that’s something you’re comfortable with. I’m not forcing you into anything, I’m just telling you that it’s something we can do, okay?”
Atsumu nods his agreement, catching his bottom lip between his teeth.
“Okay, then we’ll look into it together later, or tomorrow. Either way, I want you to hear what I’m gonna say to you now."
Kiyoomi tenderly cups Atsumu’s face and looks him in the eyes.
“I love you in your entirety. I love you when you’re happy, when you’re anxious, when you’re angry and when you’re sad. I love you when you annoy me, when you frustrate me, and when you make me laugh. I love you and everything that comes with loving you. You are not a burden to me and you will never be.”
He presses a kiss on his forehead before continuing:
“I’m a grown and mature enough person that I can decide for myself if I need to take myself out of situations I don't think I can handle, and I need you to trust me that I would tell you if something was too much for me. But it isn’t the case here, and it never has been.”
He tucks a strand of blonde hair behind Atsumu's ear and lightly brushes his cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“Being with you isn’t a chore, it isn’t something I put up with. It’s something I choose because everything about loving you is worth it. I don’t care that you snore like lawnmower, I don’t care that you forget to unplug the hairdryer, I don’t care that you forget half of the groceries on the list. Those things are easily fixed and I’m happy to do them for you, well your snoring isn’t," he adds with a chuckle, "but I’m a heavy sleeper so I don’t mind it all that much."
Atsumu smiles faintly, his eyes watering once more at the fondness in his boyfriend's voice.
"You don’t put your problems on me, you don’t- you don't make me carry them. You put them in front of me where we can both look at them and figure them out together. It isn’t burdening, it isn’t hard. Loving someone means helping them when things get tough, and I wouldn’t quit on you just because some days are harder to get by then others. Do you understand me? I’m not quitting on you and I never will. I love you and I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
“One day,” Atsumu hiccups as fresh tears flow down his cheeks, “one day, I’m gonna marry ya.”
Kiyoomi chuckles and kisses the tip of his nose.
“How about lunch before marriage? I’m hungry and I’m sure you are too.”
“Can we eat here?”
“Whatever you want, my love.”