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It absolutely should not be this hard to write a love letter. All Renjun has to do is somehow translate his undying love onto the paper (and then hopefully get a boyfriend). Unfortunately for him, this is a task that is much easier said than done.
It takes half an hour, a lot of sweating and only a few tears before Renjun finally finishes writing.
It’s a shitshow of a letter if he’s going to be honest, but at the very least it gets the job done. Like any clever love letter writer, he starts it with ”My Dear,” and signs off with “Your lover, Renjun.”
Excellent. After asking (read: annoying) Donghyuck— who makes a snide comment about Renjun’s taste in men, as if he can talk when he's exclusively into Kevin Nguyens like Mark Lee— Renjun successfully wrangles his soon-to-be lover’s address and scribbles it on the envelope. Even though he’s hand-delivering it. Safety measures.
Renjun subsequently power walks to the address that Donghyuck had so reluctantly provided, and sticks the letter into the mailbox. Or at least he tries to. The mailbox is so fucking full of mail that it doesn’t even fit.
He rifles through a few of the envelopes and makes the executive decision to stack all the Pizza Hut coupons on the grass. He’s not really messing with their mail. Just relocating it.
At last, finally assured that his lover will even see his letter, Renjun kisses the envelope and sticks it in the mailbox. Mission complete.
He’s about to make a run for it just in case the house has a Ring doorbell or something when he hears the most god awful screeching coming from behind the fence.
Renjun is a kind person. A good samaritan, if you will. Naturally, he goes to investigate, just in case it’s some sort of baby animal that needs his help. He gingerly steps over the variously colored garden gnomes lining the edge of the sidewalk and starts heading up the path towards the sound, which has only gotten louder.
Now that Renjun is as close as he can get without alerting any of the house’s occupants, he can identify the source of the sound.
Renjun’s excellent detective skills (he can just hear Donghyuck scoffing in his head) determine that it’s not actually an animal
screeching, but rather someone attempting to sing. If you can even call it singing.
Further investigation concludes that the person is attempting to belt a rendition of some sort of Disney song, and that they seem to be replacing every other word with the word ‘tomato.’
Just when Renjun is about to make his escape, the fence door swings open and a figure strides out from behind it. Oh shit.
Said figure is a person wearing a gardening hat, probably around Renjun’s age.
“Hi. Can I help you?” The person smiles widely, almost predatorial. His teeth are eerily perfect.
“I- uhh. No.”
“Your name is Renjeon, right?” The stranger steps a bit closer. He’s- Well, he’s attractive to say the least. And how does he know Renjun’s name?
Then he remembers who he is and straightens up. “Ren jun , actually.” It’s fine. He’s used to people mispronouncing his name. Just not strange gorgeous dudes who screech at their tomato plants.
“That’s what I said. Jaemin Na, as you probably already know.” Jaemin sticks out a dirt covered hand. Renjun is pretty sure there’s an ant crawling on it.
There is no way in hell he’s shaking that hand. Renjun blinks and slowly inches backwards. Literally what the hell is going on…
Jaemin doesn’t seem to mind the lack of reciprocation, dropping his hand and just… standing there. Staring at Renjun.
Awkward.
“You were sorting the mail or something,” Jaemin explains, pushing the brim of his hat up with his elbow. “Are you the new mailman?”
Oh god. This is probably Renjun’s cue to leave. Getting caught by his crush’s gardener (or something) is definitely not ideal.
“You’re a bit short for a mailman, aren’t you? Are you sure you can reach the upper mailboxes?”
Fuck this. Renjun’s done. Jaemin’s attractiveness doesn’t even make up for his… offensive observations. And he’s really fucking weird.
“No, what the hell? Do I look like a mailman to you?”
Jaemin appears to be deep in thought. Hopefully he doesn’t hurt himself thinking too hard.
“If you’re not a mailman… Then… Tampering with U.S mail is a federal crime,” Jaemin muses.
“What- No, I wasn’t tampering with it, dude. I was sorting the fucking coupons. It’s none of your business anyway.”
If the fucking gardener finds his love letter it’s all over for him.
Jaemin breaks out into another blinding smile. “Hey, you kinda look like these gnomes when you frown. Short and grumpy.” He gestures to the creepy ass gnomes on the sidewalk.
Can this dude get any more infuriating? God, Renjun needs a drink. He flips Jaemin the bird and stalks off, completely forgetting about the stupid love letter.
📄 💌 📬
It’s been an exhausting day. Between managing his incompetent (but lovable) brother's lemonade stand and dealing with neighbors who don’t listen to any of his complaints, Renjun has been bearing the weight of his responsibilities like a mule. The last thing he expects after coming home is finding fucking Jaemin Na sitting on his bed flipping through a photo album. At a closer glance, he also appears to be wearing Renjun’s bathrobe—which, by the way, is way too tight on him. What the fuck.
Upon seeing him, Jaemin grins and goes, “Aww, Renjeon, you were so cute as a baby.” That is, um. Wow. That’s a lot of teeth. Renjun did not notice that the first time they met. There’s no possible way anyone can fit that many teeth into their mouth. Renjun briefly tries to count them all, but soon gives up under the intense burn of Jaemin’s stare.
“Enjoying the view?” Jaemin somehow manages to smile even wider. Freak.
Renjun very smoothly ignores the comment and stalks over to the bed to snatch the book out of Jaemin’s hands. “First of all, it’s Ren jun . Second of all, what the hell are you doing in my room?”
Jaemin rapidly slides off his bed headfirst and does some sort of elaborate roll-spin on the floor. He stands up in front of Renjun and oh. Jaemin is very tall when he’s not slouching. And his eyelashes are very... long.
Whatever. Whatever! This doesn’t affect Renjun in the slightest. Renjun disregards these details in favor of craning his neck to make eye contact. Power move.
Renjun, 1; Jaemin, 0.
“I’m going to ask you again. What are you doing here?” Renjun tries his best to sound menacing, putting his hands on his hips.
Jaemin looks very much like he wants to coo at him and pet his hair. ”Can‘t I just spend some time with my Reonjeonnie? ”
Renjun sputters. “Wha- Oh my god. Okay. First of all. Uh- First of all, I’m not ‘your Renjeonnie.’ And second of all, why the hell are you wearing my bathrobe?”
Jaemin wraps the bathrobe protectively around himself like a distraught English teacher with a cardigan. “Heyy, ease up a little, Renjeon. I’m just a little guy. Can't a little guy have some fun?”
This situation cannot be real. Jaemin is an alien sent to Earth to torment him for all of eternity. With his numerous teeth and strangely pointy left canine.
Renjun advances toward Jaemin with his arms outstretched. He’s not sure what he’s going to do, but he’s definitely got the spirit.
To his bewilderment, Jaemin breaks into a sprint. He races down the hallway, past the various dying plants that Renjun would rather he not see. All Renjun can do is stare in disbelief as Jaemin slides down the stairs on his ass and promptly exits Renjun’s house, shutting the door behind him.
Through the window, Renjun can see him running down the street like his ass is on fire—which it might as well be, considering the rug burn Jaemin probably just got sliding down the stairs. And he’s still wearing Renjun’s fucking bathrobe.
The worst part is that Renjun is just holding the sweaty photo album and staring instead of doing something to get his bathrobe back.
Renjun, 1; Jaemin, 1.
📄💌📬
“No, but- No, seriously, Le. He literally took my bathrobe.”
Chenle levels him with an unimpressed look.
“Don’t look at me like that. I swear it happened.” Renjun hopes to god he won’t cry right now. Crying during a heated discussion is probably not great. Plus it makes his eyes puffy.
Chenle takes a sip of his drink before making a face. “Are we seriously gonna do this in a café? Of all places?” Oh god, Chenle probably knows he’s going to cry.
There’s nothing left to do now but desperately try to save face and pretend everything’s fine. “I like the- Uh, the ambience. And the cashier is kinda hot.”
“Fine, whatever. Get to the point. I have yoga soon.” Chenle sighs. He sort of looks like he’s mentally preparing himself for an exhausting conversation. Imagine.
“Okay. So. It was yesterday. I came home and he was sitting on my-“
“-Wait, back up. Who is he again?”
Renjun groans exasperatedly. “Jaemin Na, my archenemy. Obviously.”
“And why do you hate him again?”
”He gives me weird vibes. The other day he said I was too short to be a mailman. And he, like- I don't know. He was looking at me and smiling. Like a maniac!” Renjun waves his hands around wildly. “ And he called me Renjeon like three times yesterday.”
Chenle raises an eyebrow. “You’re not a mailman though.”
“That’s not the point. The point is that he snuck into my house and looked at my baby photos.”
Chenle heaves a larger sigh. “I think I’m gonna go,” he says, before finishing his drink in record time and walking out the door.
A few seconds later, Renjun gets a call from Chenle himself.
“Hey, sorry I left. I could not be bothered to care. Also that coffee was kind of gross.”
He’s still walking down the sidewalk. Renjun can see him talking into his phone. Seriously, is Renjun the only normal person in this city?
“Anyway, I’m going to head home and pretend I’m getting ready for my class now. We'll chat later. Preferably not about James Na.”
“It’s Jaemin,” Renjun interjects.
“Right, sure. Bye now.” Chenle makes a few kissy noises into the phone and promptly hangs up. Disgusting, though Renjun would expect nothing less from him.
And why does no one believe him? It can’t possibly be that hard to believe that Jaemin somehow broke into his house, put on his bathrobe-
Okay, fine. It’s a little hard to believe.
📄💌📬
Renjun isn't going crazy. He knows he’s not going crazy. The last time he checked (never), aliens didn’t consume human food. Aliens especially do not buy three limes and a single potato from Whole Foods. This doesn’t explain why Jaemin Na is standing in the grocery line opposite from him.
This is not what Renjun was expecting when he stepped out on a dreary, rainy day to pick up a loaf of ciabatta. Jaemin Na is ruining his open-faced sandwich dreams.
It’s fine. Stay calm. Stay cool. His back is turned and there’s no way he even knows that Renjun is here.
As if he read Renjun’s mind, Jaemin turns around and smiles. If Renjun keeps looking at his mouth he’s going to get eye damage.
How many times does this dude brush his teeth a day?
“Hi Renjeon! Fancy seeing you here,” Jaemin calls, raising a hand.
Oh god. He initiated.
As previously established, Renjun is not a mean person. This is a problem because instead of ignoring Jaemin like any sane person, he halfheartedly waves and makes an attempt at a smile.
Judging by Jaemin’s reaction, it looks about as sincere as Renjun feels.
Mentally, Renjun begs the cashier to hurry up with his groceries. If he looks at Jaemin any longer he’s going to melt into a sad little puddle of embarrassment.
Don’t talk to me, don't talk to me, don't talk to me.
Jaemin tilts his head, catlike. “So… what’re you doing after this?”
Can Renjun just have one moment of peace? Please?
Renjun sniffs, pretending to turn his attention back to his groceries. “Stuff.”
Jaemin looks delighted. He probably thinks this is Renjun’s way of flirting, that freak.
Because the universe is conspiring against him, Jaemin finishes up with his groceries just as Renjun’s cashier is scanning his yogurt. This leaves Jaemin free to stride over to Renjun’s grocery lane, his stupid eco-friendly tote bag slung over his shoulder.
Renjun does love a man who cares about the environment..
“Hi,” Jaemin says, smiling with all his teeth.
“Hi.” Renjun says miserably.
At last, the cashier finishes with his groceries, and he thanks her profusely.
Maybe if he walks fast enough, Jaemin will just leave him alone. Quite unfortunately, Jaemin easily falls into step with him, humming brightly.
As they reach the exit of the grocery store, Renjun realizes the obvious. It’s raining, which is why he ventured out of his house in the first place. My ciabatta is going to get soggy, he thinks mournfully.
“Ohoho,” Jaemin crows. “You’re in quite the predicament, aren’t you? Now if only you had a charming knight to rescue you with an umbrella.”
“Uh huh.”
Jaemin reaches into the depths of his bag and pulls out a frog shaped umbrella. Why is Renjun not surprised? He unfurls it and says, “Get in, m’lady.”
Renjun sighs. It’s either his sandwich or his dignity. He steps under the umbrella, making sure to leave as much space between them and possible.
Jaemin tsks. “That’s no way to go.” He pulls Renjun flush against his side and starts walking. His warmth isn’t unwelcome, to say the least.
“Where to?”
He doesn’t even wait for an answer, veering to the right with his arm still wrapped around Renjun.
“Wrong way, genius.” Renjun sighs, possibly for the hundredth time today.
Jaemin sharply turns around. “I knew that. You passed the test.”
They make their way down the sidewalk, cars whizzing past them.
“So how’d you even get here without an umbrella?” Jaemin asks, sidestepping a rogue bicyclist gracefully.
Renjun flushes. “I walked in the rain.”
“And?”
“And then I dried myself off with the hand dryers in the bathroom.”
Jaemin cackles, holding Renjun impossibly tighter. “Renjeonnie, you are so.. good.”
Renjun feels his ears heat up and attempts to shrug Jaemin’s arm off his shoulders.
“Turn right here.” Renjun’s voice is rough, and he clears his throat loudly just to give himself something to do.
As they approach Renjun’s house, he finds himself almost dreading the loss of Jaemin’s warmth. What the hell? Snap out of it, Renjun. It’s fine. He’s probably just feeling the residual effects of his ciabatta-induced desperation.
Jaemin slows to a stop just in front of Renjun’s driveway.
“Well. This is me. Thanks, um, Jaemin. Have a good day?” Renjun keeps his eyes glued to the ground.
“No problem, honeybun.” Renjun can just hear the smile in that bastard’s voice.
He raises his head to glower at Jaemin, only to be met with the prettiest smile he’s ever seen. Something stirs inside his chest.
Fuck.
📄 💌 📬
It’s safe to say that Renjun is used to the odd things that happen in his house. Perhaps he’s been jaded since that first encounter with Jaemin in his room. Or the second very unfortunate encounter in his kitchen involving a cup of ice, two pairs of shoes, and a very disgruntled cat. Or even the third. Renjun never wants to even see a pack of Smarties ever again.
Despite all of the literal and figurative stains Jaemin has left on their walls, Renjun would say that his house is pretty nice. In his living room stands a glossy black piano, which, granted, only collects dust now that Renjun and his brother have aged out of that phase where their parents force them to try every extracurricular under the sun.
This is precisely why Renjun is so confused to hear— upon returning home— someone playing the piano inside. It’s a number from Debussy that he can never quite remember the name of, despite practicing it for days on end in middle school. And the pianist is good . Better than Renjun even. His first thought is that Jisung had somehow reignited his passion for the instrument, but he’d never been all that good anyway.
Renjun toes off his shoes and steps cautiously into the house, his eyes finding the piano immediately. The pianist’s back is turned, but Renjun would recognize that head of blue hair anywhere.
“What’re you doing?”
Jaemin stops playing and spins around slowly, probably for dramatic effect or some shit. His ever-present smile has already spread across his face at the sound of Renjun’s voice. “I dunno. What’s it look like?”
Renjun shuffles his feet, suddenly feeling embarrassed in his own damn home. “Right. Uh. I didn’t know you could play.”
“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me,” Jaemin says, tucking his hands under his legs and staring intently at Renjun.
They’re locked in some sort of weird staring contest for a few moments before Renjun speaks up again.
“Dude, stop staring at me. Like I’m, like. I don’t know. A specimen under your microscope.”
This seems to make Jaemin weirdly happy. “I mean, if you’re into that sort of scientist roleplay, y’know, I could get behind that.”
“Wait, what?”
Jaemin smiles wider at him and jumps off the bench. He skips down the hall, humming happily under his breath.
“Do you even know where you’re going?” Renjun mumbles, more to himself than to Jaemin’s retreating back.
God, he feels like he’s been blindfolded and forced to walk a tightrope. And not even in a good way.
…
A while later, after Renjun has drowned out all possible thoughts of Jaemin by submerging himself in the bath, he emerges from his room to hopefully get another attempt at making a sandwich.
He can hear Jisung talking animatedly in the kitchen, which is weird because last time Renjun checked (three hours ago), he was still in the delayed emo phase that he’d somehow skipped out on during his early teenage years. Renjun has seen Jisung sulking around the house wearing his ratty red flannel way too many times for comfort.
He pads into the kitchen to find— yes, again— Jaemin, in his house. Again.
“They are not rea- Oh, hey.” Jisung pauses from his cross-legged position on the dining room table.
Renjun isn’t even surprised to see Jaemin sitting in a similar position on their kitchen counter, peeling one of Renjun’s roasted yams.
Jaemin smiles at him, and it would be a nice moment if not for the fact that he has moved on to eating the peels.
“What the hell?”
Jaemin pauses, the peel raised halfway to his mouth. “What?”
“What are you doing?” (Renjun has never said these four words more in his life than he has in the past month.)
“Having a snack. Good fiber and all that. They’re probably edible. I dunno.”
“That can not be good for you.”
Jaemin ignores him and curls up into himself, whispering, “Mmm, fibrous.”
He is so fucking weird. And Renjun might be falling; despite, despite, despite.
📄 💌 📬
It’s a sweltering day, not unlike the day Jaemin first appeared in Renjun’s room all those weeks ago.
This time though, there is no lemonade stand, no nosy neighbors. It’s just Renjun and Jaemin. Granted, Jaemin is currently napping in his bed, but it’s still a vaguely heartwarming moment.
Renjun had intended to just quickly grab a phone charger out of his room, but instead, he’d gotten startled by a Jaemin-shaped lump in his bed.
He’s extremely aware of how creepy he looks right now, hovering awkwardly over Jaemin’s sleeping form as if he could wake him up with his mind, but he can’t bring himself to care when Jaemin looks so peaceful (and not to mention pretty).
For the first time since they met, Renjun allows himself to embrace the strange feeling in his chest that seems to only show up when he’s around Jaemin.
And again, as if Jaemin is some sort of mind reader, he opens his eyes and smiles.
“Were you even sleeping?” Renjun asks, seriously considering just kicking Jaemin out of his room and locking away his feelings forever.
Jaemin burrows deeper into the covers. “Of course I was. I just… felt the weight of your loving stare upon my face and woke up.”
“I hate you so much, you know that?”
“Why? I’m lovely to be around.”
Renjun has never in his life been more agitated and endeared at the same time.
“I- Just- Ugh. Can I kiss you?”
Jaemin kicks off the blanket and attempts to wink seductively. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Their first kiss is, well, good. Great. Nice. Renjun’s been stripped of his vocabulary for some reason.
“Did you just brush your teeth?” Renjun asks after they break apart.
“No.. I got bored waiting for you to come in so I, uh.. Ate some of your mint leaves.”
Some things never change, Renjun supposes.