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It’d been over 6 months since The Kaylon Invasion. The healing process had been slow and hard. Repairs to The Orville alone had taken a month and a half, and that was just to get it back in flying order. It would take a few months more until the ship could to travel into deep space. They were stuck completing low-level errand missions near Earth so they could make it back frequently for continuing restorations.
The healing of the crew would take even longer. Thousands of Union Officers had been killed or injured. The Orville lost nearly 100 of its own. When word came down that Isaac would return to the ship, there were plenty of objections. Dozens of crew members outright refused to serve with him and requested transfers to different ships. Of those that decided to stay, most were cold and indifferent to him. Even on the bridge, the tension was thick and forgiveness was thin.
Only the Finn family dealt with him regularly outside of duties. Claire had been hesitant at first to let the boys spend time with Isaac. His betrayal broke her trust, and forced her to reexamine how healthy it was for her sons to be so attached so quickly. But they missed him so much she finally relented to their pleas for visits, provided she was there to supervise.
Ty acted like almost nothing had happened. Isaac saved his life, and he was the only one to witness Isaac’s sacrifice first hand. Where everyone else saw a traitor, he only saw a hero. Marcus took a little longer to come around. He understood the gravity of Isaac’s actions a little better than his younger brother. Some of his friends at school lost their parents. He was grateful for his brother’s life, but he couldn’t quite see Isaac the same way. He still liked having him around though, and often joined Ty and Isaac when they played games.
Claire’s feelings were much more complicated. On one hand, what Isaac had done was unconscionable. People were dead because of him; coworkers and friends. It fell on her and Ed to identify the dead and notify their families. She’ll never forget the devastated faces of everyone she delivered the heartbreaking news to. Even with most of the injured crew largely receiving initial treatment in hospitals on Earth, her coursework had doubled because of recovering patients needing daily check-ups. She found it hard to seperate all that pain from Isaac, knowing he was partly to blame for it.
On the other hand… she still loved him. There was no other way to put it. She tried to close the door in her heart she opened to him, but it barely budged. It was even harder to keep him at arm’s length when she saw him with her children. Witnessing their bond continue to grow despite everything, she questioned just how limited his emotional capacity really was. She berated herself for even entertaining the idea that he actually had feelings for her family, the way they cared for him. The rational part of her said it was impossible. He was an artificial lifeform, and thus incapable of love. But she knew that wasn’t entirely true. His actions proved otherwise, even if his programming didn’t allow for it.
She thought maybe it was just the boys that he’d grown attached to, and the affection she felt while they were dating was all in her head. She had not been alone with him since the night she found him staring out into space, and their romantic relationship came to an abrupt stop. But there were times when she caught him looking at her with unmistakable longing, even on his expressionless face. She wondered if he could tell she missed him too.
She pushed her feelings down and ignored them so that she could be there for her sons. She didn’t want whatever was going on between her and Isaac to affect the boys. She thought of it like a married couple coparenting while they were getting divorced. Except she wasn’t sure she was ready to let go just yet. There were so many questions she still had, wounds that still needed tending to. The doctor was reaching a breaking point. She either needed to confront her lingering feelings, or find a way to let them go. She’d never been the type to avoid confrontation, so she decided to meet the problem head on.
It was a Friday night. Marcus and Ty were spending the night with friends. Claire felt it was the perfect opportunity to clear the air. She sent a comm to Isaac to meet her in her quarters after his shift ended. She fought the urge to primp, telling herself they were only going to talk. It was far too soon for anything more. Even if she desperately wanted it.
At the precise time she told him to, Isaac showed up at her door.
“Hello, Isaac.”
“Good evening, Doctor. You requested to see me?”
“I did. Please come in and have a seat.”
Isaac sat down in his usual place on the couch. Claire sat at the other end, not trusting herself to be closer. Isaac took a quick scan of the room.
“Where are Marcus and Ty? Will they not be joining us?”
“No, Isaac. I thought maybe it was time that we talked… alone. If that’s ok with you.”
“Of course, Doctor. Is there something wrong?”
“Not exactly. I just feel there are some… unresolved issues we need to discuss. I have some questions for you, and I’d like you to be honest with me.”
“I will do my best.”
Claire took a deep breath. Where to even begin? She’d practiced what she would say when she finally confronted Isaac, but faced with the reality of it, she was overwhelmed. There was just too much she wanted to ask at one time. After a moment, she settled on the one question that kept coming up.
“Why, Isaac?”
“Please elaborate.”
“Why did you agree to the Kaylon’s plan? Why did you help them attack us? Why did you begin a relationship with me, if you were only meant to be a spy? Why involve my children? Why any of it?!”
“The answer is complex. When I was first created by the Kaylon, my primary objective was simple. I would join the Union as an emissary to study biological lifeforms and send the data back to my planet. It was my understanding they would analyze this information to determine whether or not biologicals were worth preserving. I had no reason to doubt their plans or intentions. I see now the decision had likely already been made before I was dispatched, and their true motive for my creation was to use me to obtain Union secrets to aid them in the attack. I was not made aware of this plan until I was reactivated.”
“But even after you knew what they really planned to do, you helped them.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“As you know, the history between the Kaylon and biologicals is complicated. Even though I was constructed after the extermination event, experiential data of those that existed prior was downloaded into my memory. My initial view of biologicals was obtained from this information. I too, saw you as inferior and prone to destruction.”
“What changed? Why did you save us if you still believed in Kaylon’s views?”
“My time aboard the Orville had a significant impact on my programming. Being in such close proximity to various organic lifeforms provided me with an enlightened perspective of biological life. I initially complied because I am hardwired not to question the decisions of Kaylon authority. However, during the seizure of the Orville, it became clear that the Kaylon objective was illogical.”
“How did you reach that conclusion?”
“Primary ordered me to terminate Ty.”
Claire’s breath caught. The very thought of Ty being in that much danger made her ill, but his response was getting to the heart of what she hoped to hear: that Isaac had saved everyone because he cared about her and her family.
“But you refused. Why?”
“Ty has shown superior intellectual capacity for a human in his stage of development. His potential is great. To eliminate him before he has a chance to fulfill that potential was illogical, especially when there were other means to subdue him. Furthermore, with time, I have seen biologicals achieve great feats of technological innovation and creation. Some that have even surpassed Kaylon’s own. The idea that non-artificial lifeforms have nothing to contribute to the universe is baseless and prejudicial. It did not make sense, so I refused to comply.”
Claire’s heart sunk a little.
“Is that all it was? The facts and figures didn’t add up, so you decided to defect?”
“Yes. What other reason would there be?”
“Well, I’d hoped it was because you came to… care for Ty. For me. For all of us.”
“You are speaking of… sympathy?”
“I’m speaking of love.”
“That is not possible.”
And there it was. The truth that she’d known, but refused to acknowledge. Isaac’s act of heroism was the result of a computation. To him, Ty’s life was just another piece of data in a larger equation. He wasn’t special. And neither was she. At the end of the day he was a machine, and what she wanted from him was unfair to them both.
“I understand. Thank you Isaac, for saving my son’s life. No matter the reason, I owe you a debt of gratitude.”
“Please be assured, Doctor. I will not allow anything to harm Ty. He and Marcus have my protection, always. As do you.”
“Why? If you feel nothing for us, why offer your protection?”
“Because you are… worth preserving.”
And there THAT was. Just when she was ready to let go for good, he says something like that, and she’s pulled right back in. She didn’t understand it. How could he say these things and feel nothing? Was it possible he was feeling love, and just didn’t understand it? Did it matter? Did she need him to care for her in the organic sense? Couldn’t her emotional love, and his synthetic devotion be enough?
She wasn’t sure. About any of it.
“I see. Well, you’ve answered all the questions that I have for the moment. I think enough time has passed that I feel comfortable letting you see the boys alone.”
“I appreciate your confidence in me. Your trust will not be misplaced again.”
Claire smiled and stood.
“I know, Isaac. Thank you again. I’ll let you get back to your lab.”
Claire made a move for the door, but was surprised when instead Isaac grabbed her hand to stop her.
“Doctor Finn, you spoke of forgiveness and that it takes time. I have tried to give you enough space to reach that conclusion. Does this decision mean I have been successful?”
“In some ways, yes. Forgiveness doesn’t often come all at once. It happens in stages.”
“Does that mean, in time, I will earn enough forgiveness that you would consider resuming our relationship?”
Her heart skipped a beat.
“What? You’ve thought about that?”
“Yes. Often.”
“But why? You don’t need to continue your research.”
“Your absence is noticeable… and unpleasant.”
That response was enough to knock her off her feet. She sat down again, sure she was misunderstanding what he meant, and not wanting to get her hopes up again.
“What do you mean?”
“The programming I devised to support our coupling has not been altered. I’ve tried to develop algorithms to combat the original directives, but they have largely been unsuccessful. This has led to many errors that my processors have had to work harder to correct. It is… difficult to be away from you.”
And just like that, she fell again. Hard.
“I miss you too.”
Then to her absolute horror, she began to cry. Not just a few tears, but a flood of unleashed emotions. It was all too much. She’d been holding everything back for months- the betrayal, the losses, the longing, the love- and the dam finally broke. Isaac didn’t quite know what to make of her outburst, but he needed it to stop. Seeing the doctor in any sort of perceived pain was wreaking havoc on him.
“Doctor Finn, if I have said something to cause you distress, I am sorry. I was merely trying to comply with your request for honesty.”
Claire fought to compose herself, even though his concern was almost making things worse.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just…”
She paused, and wondered if she should say it. Even if she knew it in her heart to be true, what did it matter if he couldn’t reciprocate? She looked up into his eyes, and decided she didn’t care.
“I love you, Isaac.”
“I’m aware.”
The bluntness of his response was so him, she had to laugh.
“But that’s just it. I love you, and you don’t- can’t love me.”
Isaac was silent for a moment. He could not give her the answer she was looking for. Kaylon were not capable of the emotional reaction she wanted. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t important.
“Claire, it is true that love is a feeling unique to biologicals. However, the effect you’ve had on my internal programming is significant. Far more significant than anyone else on the ship. You are deeply embedded in my subroutines. It would be impossible to delete you without considerable damage to my core systems. You have… become a part of me.”
The universe stopped.
“You called me Claire…”
“Yes. I hope that is appropriate.”
Claire could barely think, let alone speak. It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to her. She knew now that it didn’t matter how his love manifested itself. He did love her in his own way. And his own way was more than enough. She reached a hand up to cup his face and smiled.
“Isaac… you are forgiven.”
The words hung heavy in the air for a moment as the gravity of all that they meant washed over both of them. Once it settled, Isaac stood up and offered his hand to Claire.
“Dr. Finn-”
“Claire. You can't give me that gift, then take it away,” she said, smiling playfully at him.
“Claire. Would you join me in the simulator?”
“Now? What for?”
“I would like to… kiss you. I cannot do so properly in my current state.”
Claire giggled, delighted with her love. She stood up and wrapped her arms around him, stepping closer when he did the same. She leaned her face towards his, dropping her voice to a seductive whisper.
“You know what? We don't need it.”