Work Text:
Three weeks.
It’s been three weeks since Vecna was killed, since El closed the gates, since peace was restored to Hawkins. Three fucking weeks and no one’s heard from Eddie Munson.
It’s not like Steve’s mad at the guy, just- you don’t get through the almost-end of the world alone, right? Robin’s most likely right, per usual, the guy’s probably just settling back in. Steve gets it. It’s just frustrating, knowing Eddie’s around, Steve just isn't seeing him. Max said she’s seen his van, he just doesn’t come out of it a lot. Steve listens to Robin, loosens up about it. “Just give him some time,” she said, so he does, but still counts the minutes.
The bell jingles, and Steve turns his attention away from The Goonies, ready to give his customer service spiel when he realizes who just walked in. He pivots to face Eddie.
“Munson, where the hell have you been, man?” Despite his frustrations, Steve’s happy to see Eddie still kicking, and he lets it show.
“Busy living the dream, Harrington, did ya miss me?” Eddie gives him a mischievous grin, and Steve can feel a small drop in his stomach, like he just reached the precipice of a roller coaster and he’s faced with where he’s about to go.
“This is, uh, from before... spring break.” Eddie continues, and passes Steve the Night of the Living Dead tape. “I know there’s a late fee, but I was hoping there was an exception regarding running from the law and, I dunno, falling into hell dimensions?”
“Crazy excuse, Munson, next time just tell me Max’s dog ate the tape.”
“Oh, King Steve,” Eddie clasps his hands together in prayer, “I beg for mercy.” Steve almost flinches at the use of his stupid old moniker, but plays it off easily.
“Fine, no late fee, if you agree to never call me that again.”
Eddie pouts. “Then I need to come up with a new nickname for you!”
“Yeah, well,” Steve picks up the tape, pointedly ignoring Eddie’s puppy dog eyes. “I’m sure that wild mind of yours can think something up.” He busies himself removing the late fee. The clicks from the keyboard and the clacks of Eddie’s rings knocking together blend into the dialogue from the movie in the background, and Steve attempts to lie to himself that it doesn’t feel that awkward. It doesn’t work. He hits the enter key with finality, removing the fee from Eddie’s account. Glancing back at Eddie, Steve notices the tension in his shoulders and the dark circles around his eyes.
“So... How have you been holding up?” He asks, and Eddie returns his gaze with a hesitant look in his eyes.
“Oh, uh, y’know,” he looks at the floor. “Alright as I can be, I guess.”
Eddie’s not wrong. It took a while for Steve to feel alright after everything with the demogorgon. He couldn’t stop remembering the smell of burning rot and the gnashing of its many rows of teeth.
“Look, you can’t just bounce back from the shit we’ve seen. I sure haven’t.” Steve chuckles halfheartedly. “Just... you can talk to us about it, if you want to.”
Eddie’s got these piercing eyes that make Steve feels like a deer in the headlights. The first time he really looked at Eddie, in the boathouse with a shard of glass up against his neck, they looked like they belonged to a cornered animal- feral, a bit crazed. Now, Eddie’s looking at Steve with dark, intense eyes, and it makes Steve feel a little twitchy.
“I never know what to expect from you, Harrington.” he smiles, but it’s lacking warmth. Steve nods, unsure of how to respond, and watches Eddie leave without another word.
Steve can’t really place why he’s so put off by Eddie. Put off isn’t right, though. It’s not like Eddie weirds him out, sure, he’s odd, but Steve doesn’t have a problem with that. They got to know each other in their most vulnerable moments, killing monsters and bandaging wounds. There’s just something Steve can’t put his finger on that makes Steve feel like he’s going to trip over his own feet when he sees him.
The next time Eddie comes into the store, Steve’s talking with a girl- Shelly, or Sheila, or something? When the bell on the door rings and Eddie walks in, Steve gives him a wave. Shelly/Sheila/Something turns her head, then looks back at Steve with her lip curled.
“Why are you waving at him ?” the girl raises a brow at Steve, and he stumbles for a response, but then she grabs her tape and heads out the door.
Steve sighs. Another one bites the dust. The chances of a potential summer romance for Steve are dwindling. His gaze cuts back to Eddie, who’s mulling over the sci-fi section. His brow is knit in concentration as he runs his long fingers over the spines of the tapes, stopping at times to pull them out and ponder the cover. Steve vaguely thinks that his hands must be good for hitting chords on a guitar. Eddie pushes a strand of hair back and Steve can see the glimmer of silver- a small hoop in his ear. Steve’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t notice he’s staring until Eddie’s eyes meet his, and Steve feels that drop in his stomach again. He turns away quickly, rifling through the returned tapes bin, trying to look busy.
“Sorry, Harrington, did I scare a potential date away?” Eddie teases as he approaches the countertop, tapes in hand.
“What?” Steve says, unsure what Eddie’s referring to for a moment. “Oh- uh, nah. Don’t worry about that.” he shrugs, half-smiling. He takes note of the the titles as he scans them: Dune, The Man Who Fell to Earth, Empire of the Ants, Rocky Horror Picture Show. Dune rings a bell, Steve’s sure he’s heard Dustin talking about how the books were infinitely better. Rocky Horror sounds familiar too.
“What’s this about, anyways?” Steve asks, holding up the red and black tape to Eddie. “Robin likes this movie, I think.”
Eddie’s expression seems to get a little cagey, but he tries to play it off. “Of course she likes it,” he laughs, but it’s more to himself. “It’s, uh, hard to explain?”
Steve waits for him to say more, but he doesn’t, so Steve drops the tape in the plastic bag and hands it over.
“Don’t be a stranger, man,” Steve tells him, and Eddie grins.
“Harrington, you’re gonna be sick of me before you know it.”
-
Eddie’s coming in more and more these days. He makes an offhand comment about it to Robin, and she gives him a sideways smile. “Yeah, and you light up like a christmas tree whenever he comes in.” Steve tries not to think about it too much.
He’s in the backroom today, checking inventory at the desk when he hears Eddie come in. Steve doesn’t get up right away, but he plans to at least say hi before he leaves.
“So... Are you and Nancy Wheeler, like, a thing?” Steve hears from the front, and alarms go off in his head. He leans back in his chair, scowling at Eddie, because no one’s gonna fuck with Robin on his watch. When Robin doesn’t answer, Eddie leans in a little closer, and Steve’s grip on his pencil tightens, before hearing what Eddie says to her.
“Dude. It’s cool.”
Steve watches as Robin loosens up, explains that, no, Nancy and her are not a thing, because Nancy’s with Jonathan again.
“I was just gonna say, you and Harrington have more in common than I thought.” Eddie jokes, leaning to the side and meeting Steve’s eyes. Robin turns to follow his line of sight, and Steve suddenly feels like he’s hearing something he shouldn’t.
““It’s fine, dingus. Eddie is cool.” Robin assures him, and he drops the dirty look, glancing back and forth between her and Eddie.
“Okay, okay, just- just checking.” Steve says, giving Eddie one last look before ducking back into the office. The noise from their conversation dies out, and Steve doesn’t know what to make of what he heard.
-
It’s one of the rare times in the summer where Steve’s parents are actually home. Steve’s flipping through channels when he hits MTV, and pauses to watch Adam Ant wave around a gun and look good while doing it. Steve’s father scoffs behind him.
“They shouldn’t let people like him on TV. Wearing earrings, like some fruitcake? That’s gonna encourage kids the wrong way.” he gripes, and Steve rolls his eyes.
“So, you’ve been spending a lot of time with that Robin girl.” Steve’s mom chirps, ignoring her husband’s complaints. “Are you two dating?”
“Nope.” Steve says, popping the ‘p’. “Just friends.”
It doesn’t take long for Steve to retreat to his room again. He glances over his tape collection for a moment before pulling out REO Speedwagon’s Wheels Are Turnin’ and popping it into his walkman. It’s been a while since he’s last cleaned his room, so he picks up all his dirty clothes off the floor, tossing them into the laundry basket. He stops in his motion when he picks up a dirty denim garment. Eddie’s vest. He’d forgotten about it, tossing it on the floor with the rest of his clothes after a night of exhaustion. There’s a patch of rusty red on the right side, and it makes Steve’s throat tighten. He wonder if it still smells like the Upside Down, the musty stench of rot and dust. Steve lifts the collar of the vest to his nose, and to his surprise- It still smells like Eddie. The fact that he knows Eddie’s smell now is an odd thought, but under the lake water and dirt, there’s the unmistakable earthy scent of pot smoke and speed stick deodorant. It’s comforting, strangely enough.
He knows he ought to give the vest back, but it’s all dirty, so Steve throws it in his laundry basket. Then he second-guesses that, because maybe Eddie hand-washes the thing, with the patches and pins and all. Steve takes out the pins, one-by-one, making a mental note of their layout before sneaking downstairs to gather his tools. Back in his bathroom, he lays out his supplies: Laundry detergent, stain remover, and a cleaning brush. Steve taps his fingers to the tune of Live Every Moment as he fills the bath with warm water and throws a small splash of detergent in. As the track ends and the soft piano notes of Can’t Fight This Feeling come on, Steve scrubs his blood out of the vest.
“And I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might,” the singer croons over Steve’s headphones. The denim is dripping with dark, soapy water now, and Steve’s really glad he decided to wash it before returning it. Steve wonders if he’ll start wearing it again. Even in the hot weather, Eddie still wears his leather jacket most of the time. Not like it doesn’t complement his style- the chains holding the cuffs together go well with his rings and earrings. The thought of Eddie tucking his hair back, revealing the silver hoop brings back the comment Steve’s dad made earlier, and Steve freezes.
No, just because Eddie’s wearing jewelry doesn’t mean he’s gay. Right? But then another memory is poking at Steve’s brain: The way Eddie told Robin it’s cool , like they had some unspoken agreement, like he was sharing something without actually saying it. The music playing in Steve’s ears seems to turn to static as Steve starts to connect the dots in his head.
He’s got to talk to Robin.
-
“Robin!”
“Steve,” Robin says, much more relaxed than her friend as she climbs into the passenger’s seat. “What’s got your panties in a twist today?”
“I’ve connected some dots.” Steve gestures wildly with his hands, and Robin raises and eyebrow at him.
“What?”
“I’ve. Connected. Some-” Steve repeats, annunciating his words, before Robin cuts him off.
“Yeah, I heard you, dingus. What dots have you connected?”
“I mean, it’s just a hunch, and maybe I shouldn’t even be asking this-”
“Get to the point, Steve.”
“Is Eddie...” He pauses. “Does Eddie like guys?”
Robin leans back and narrows her eyes.
“Why do you want to know?”
“Just- when he asked you about Nancy, he talked like he gets it , y’know? I’m- I’m just curious, okay?”
“Curiosity killed the cat, Steve.” Robin replies, stony-faced, and Steve feels a small pang of guilt in his chest.
“...Sorry. I know, it’s like, not my place to ask.” he shrugs, looking away.
“It’s more like it’s not my place to answer,” Robin gives him a wry smile.
-
Steve’s on the couch in Eddie’s trailer, high out of his mind, and it’s all a bit overwhelming. He was having a good time at first, before he started thinking too much about Eddie’s presence next to him. Steve’s not really sure where all of his limbs are, except that one of his knees is touching Eddie’s, and it feels like nothing is in focus.
“Stevie, you good?” he hears Eddie’s voice say, and he wonders if pot is giving him the heart palpitations or if it’s something else.
“I, uh-” Steve attempts to talk, but his voice sounds wrong, too tight, too anxious. “Good?” Eddie doesn’t speak, so Steve continues. “Everything’s- It’s like its spinning?” He tries to explain, but it’s not quite right, so he shakes his head. “I don’t know. I don’t like it.” It seems like forever passes before he hears Eddie’s voice again.
“It’s okay to let go, dude, you don’t have to know.” his hand presses up against Steve’s arm and, that’s funny, isn’t it? The way his stomach feels like it’s growing wings? Looking over at Eddie, Steve traces his features with his gaze, from his chin to his mouth to his nose to his doe eyes to his curly hair. His pretty, curly hair.
“Just... here.” Eddie slips his hand into Steve’s own. “It helps to have something to ground yourself.” Steve feels like he can’t remember a time where he wasn’t holding Eddie’s hand, long fingers weaved into his owns, the grooves of his rings digging into Steve’s skin.
Steve and Robin end up sleeping over, because neither Steve nor Eddie are in any state to drive home. Eddie offers up his bed to Robin at first, but she refuses, because, in her words, “I definitely know what those stains are from”. So Robin curls up on the couch, and Eddie insists Steve take his bed, while he sleeps in his uncle’s room. Steve’s still coming down from his high when Eddie shows him to his room, and Steve immediately collapses on the bed, snuggling into Eddie’s sheets.
“Someone’s sleepy, huh?” Eddie comments, and Steve can hear the smirk in his voice. He drifts to sleep surrounded by Eddie’s smell, pot smoke and speed stick.
-
Steve complains about babysitting a lot, but when Dustin asks Steve to drive him and some of the other kids to The Palace for his 15th birthday, Steve doesn’t hesitate to say yes. He picks up Robin first, which is great, because Steve has a lot to get off of his chest.
“Eddie smells like the bottom of a teen boy’s laundry basket. You can’t tell me you like that.” Robin wrinkles her nose.
“I dunno, it was nice! His bed was really warm, and it was comforting, I guess! I was high, sue me?”
“Are you still high?” Robin jokes as they pull up in front of Dustin’s house, Steve blaring his horn.
“I’m driving, Rob, of course not.”
“Just checking, because I never thought I’d be hearing about your gay thoughts without some substance in you.”
Steve’s eyebrows shoot up.
“Those are not gay thoughts!” he whisper-shouts, well aware of Dustin heading down the sidewalk to his car.
“They absolutely are!” Robin counters.
“Just because I like how someone smells doesn’t mean I’m into-” Steve stops before he can add a pronoun to that sentence, just as Dustin hops into the car.
“Wait, who’s smell do you like?” Dustin squints, prompting Robin and Steve to respond in unison: “No one!”
The Sinclair’s house is the next stop, and Lucas pushes Erica in first, complaining that his legs are too long for the middle seat.
“As much as you like to think you’re Larry Bird, you aren’t.” Erica glares at her brother, but climbs into the center anyways. Robin turns up the radio as they pull off towards the arcade, an upbeat song playing over the speakers.
“What’s this song? Max would like this.” Lucas asks.
“Dreaming. It’s by Blondie.” Robin says, kicking her feet up on the dash.
Blondie’s still playing as Steve drives into the lot of the arcade, and the kids jump out before he even turns puts the car in park.
“Jesus, don’t do that! I could’ve run over your feet!” he exclaims.
“Feet feet, walking a two mile, Meet meet, meet me at the turnstile ,” Debbie Harry sings over the radio as a familiar van pulls up next to Steve. Steve turns off the car, pockets his keys as Eddie calls over to him:
“Still babysitting, Harrington?”
Steve catches his eyes, and his heart does that thing it did when he was high the other night, fluttering up into his throat. Turns out it wasn’t just the pot. Eddie’s not wearing his jacket for once, opting instead for a faded Motley Crue shirt with the sleeves cut off. Steve wishes his brain had a pause button to stop him from thinking about the sight of Eddie’s bare skin.
“Well, y’know, the birthday boy deserves a chauffeur.” Steve shrugs, fixing his hair like he’s about to ask a girl out, and oh god, where did that thought come from? Steve clears his throat. “Uh, you coming in?” he gestures to the arcade doors and tries to wipe his brain clear as Eddie follows him inside.
The heart palpitations return as Eddie leans over Steve’s shoulder while he’s playing Space Invader. He can feel the warmth of Eddie’s breath tickling his shoulder, and he fumbles the joystick, and he’s down to zero lives again. Reaching for another quarter, Eddie’s voice interrupts him.
“Don’t waste your money, Harrington- you’re no good with a joystick.”
Steve’s head snaps over to Eddie, who’s got this impish smile on his face as he winks . Steve swears his chest is going to explode.
“Steve, I finally found a game you can win!” Dustin appears out of nowhere, slapping him on the arm, and then Steve’s being dragged to the cherry red K.O. Punch machine.
Dustin and Lucas cheer him on as Steve winds back, knocking the bag so hard it ricochets off the top of the machine. The kids are gone as quick as they appeared, and Steve’s left with Eddie, who’s slow clapping with that smirk on his face.
“Not bad, Harrington, not bad at all.”
Steve tugs at his collar, and doesn’t even realize he’s puffing out his chest a little till he’s doing it.
“No good with a joystick, but I guess my right hook ain't half bad.” he gives a smug grin back to Eddie, brown eyes piercing into him.
Steve holds off on talking to Robin until he drops the kids off, because he’s afraid that once he starts talking he won’t be able to stop.
“I think you were right.” Steve confesses as soon as Dustin reaches his door, eager to get it off his chest.
“I mean, I usually am, but what about this time?” Robin tilts her head.
“What you said in the car? Before the arcade?” Steve answers with a wince.
“No way.” Robin’s face lights up. “No fucking way!”
“What do I do?” Steve says, and her look of awe drops.
“What do you mean, what do you do?”
Steve leans his head forward, hands draped over the steering wheel.
“What do I do, Robin? I- I don’t know what to do! Eddie flirted with me, and- and I liked it, and I think I flirted back? I thought I knew myself, Robin, this is freaking me out!” The words tumble out of Steve’s mouth at a frantic pace, and Robin reaches over to press a hand to his shoulder.
“Slow down, Steve, you’re starting to sound like me.” she tells him, voice laced with concern.
“Word vomit?”
“Word vomit.” Robin nods, and Steve takes a shaky breath. He feels like he just woke up from one of his nightmares about the demogorgon, or the dogs, or more recently the bats- panicked and sweaty and all over the place. The thing is, it’s not a nightmare, it shouldn’t be, but the thought of liking a guy like that is so alien to Steve that his brain doesn’t seem to compute.
“Did I ever tell you about my first crush?” says Robin.
Steve shakes his head.
“I met her when I was ten, at summer camp. Her name was Ruby, and she wore her hair in braids with colorful beads. I remember when I first realized that I wasn’t just jealous of her, and I was so terrified, I thought I was gonna throw up.”
Steve remembers the feeling of his stomach doing a barrel roll when Eddie caught him staring, the frenetic jump to pretending he was doing anything else.
“It’s scary, Steve. I know it is.” The gentle tone of Robin’s voice is jarring, and Steve tries to hold back the tears that he can feel coming on. Robin can tell, of course, and she gives him a sad smile.
“C’mere, dingus.” Before he can protest, she pulls Steve in for a hug, and Steve melts into his friend’s arms. He really hopes she ignores the wet spots on her shirt. “You’re gonna be okay.” Robin whispers, patting his head like a mom comforting her little kid, and Steve sobs.
-
“How do you even have time to watch all of these?”
Steve’s scanning through the pile of tapes Eddie’s returning, and it’s an offhand comment that he doesn’t expect such a jarring answer to.
“Uh, I’ve been watching them when I can’t sleep.” Eddie says quietly, and when Steve looks up at him he’s staring at the carpet. “Which is, I guess, most of the time these days, so-” he waves a hand toward the stack of movies. “That’s fine, I mean, it’ll get better eventually, right?” the faint strain in Eddie’s voice is all too familiar for Steve, and it makes his chest ache.
“...Yes and no.” Steve answers, wincing slightly at the depressing nature of the answer. “You said you like hearing the bad news first, right?”
Eddie glances back up.
“Yeah, I’m surprised you remember that.”
“I... never stopped getting nightmares, really.” Steve explains. “They were bad, at first. Really bad. But then they died down for a while, until something else happened. I still get them, sometimes, but it’s easier now.”
Eddie doesn’t say anything, just nods, and it hurts Steve to watch. After Nancy broke up with him, after the monsters in the Byers house and the junkyard, Steve was like that. Looking for an answer, waiting for an exit from the shit he saw whenever he closed his eyes. It didn’t really get easier till he had Robin to talk to.
“Sorry, it’s probably not what you want to here-” Steve starts to apologize before Eddie cuts him off.
“No, it’s- it’s okay. I mean, it’s not really, it fucking sucks, but... I’m glad you’re not sugar coating it. Bad news first, always. Like you said.” Eddie looks at Steve again, holding eye contact. “Thanks, Steve. I mean it.”
The ache in Steve’s ribs is replaced with a warmth as he smiles at Eddie.
“Anytime.”
“We still on for that movie tomorrow night?” Eddie’s grinning again, like Steve flicked a switch in him.
“Hell yeah,” Steve nods. “My pick, after all.”
“Oh, shit, I forgot-” Robin calls, peeking out from in between the action movie shelves. “I’ve got a rehearsal for the fourth of July marching band then!”
“You wanna move it to another night?” Steve asks her, and Robin shakes her head.
“You guys go without me.”
When they go their separate ways, Steve driving Robin home like usual, he immediately berates her.
“You traitor!”
“Seriously, I forgot! I swear I didn’t plan it!” Robin throws up her hands.
“It’s gonna be just us! I’m gonna freak!”
“Steve. You are going to be fine.”
“I’m gonna freak!” he insists, and Robin rolls her eyes.
“Steven Douglas Harrington, you are a ladykiller . You were literally known in high school for being hot, and you are not going to peak in high school!” She spits out with the confidence of a drill sergeant. “You can survive watching one movie with your friend, whether or not you have a crush on him! You fucking killed demons with your ex girlfriend! You can do this!” Robin slaps him on shoulder, and it reminds him of the team huddles with the basketball team, when life was simpler and Steve was shittier.
“I can do this.” Steve tells himself, nodding slowly.
“Louder!” Robin yells, and Steve repeats:
“I can do this!”
“That’s what I’m talking about!”
-
Steve cannot, in fact, do this. Eddie’s waiting in Steve’s room while he stands in the bathroom, fixing his hair in the mirror for the hundredth time. He repeats Robin’s pep talk to himself in his head, wiping the sweat from his palms on his jeans. Steve shoots himself little finger guns in the mirror, immediately feels like an idiot, and decided to get it over with and head out.
“Hey, ready to-” Steve swings into his room, putting on his best confident face, and pauses when he sees whats in Eddie’s hands. “Sorry, I’ve been, uh, meaning to return that.”
“It’s fine, man. You could’ve worn it again, if you wanted.” Eddie smiles down at the vest. “You looked pretty bitchin’ in it.” Doe eyes meets Steve’s own, and all of the sudden there’s butterflies in his stomach.
“Yeah?” Steve says in a quiet voice.
“I hate to admit it, Harrington,” Eddie gives him a playful smirk, “But you are quite the badass.” He brushes his fingers over the spot of Steve’s blood. “Alright, Stevie, enough small talk, let’s hit the road before we miss the movie.”
It goes alright, at first. They banter over a bad of popcorn, and Steve’s head doesn’t feel like it’s going to explode. Robin’s right, he can do this.
“You mind if I smoke?” Eddie asks, fishing a pack of Camels out of his pocket, and Steve nods.
“Go for it.”
“Cool, there’s a lighter in the glove box, would you just-?” Eddie doesn’t even need to finish asking, because Steve’s already opening it and grabbing the lighter. He notes the other contents of the glovebox- guitar picks, crumpled receipts, spare change, a package of condoms- and closes it before he can think too much about the last one. The flick of Eddie’s lighter casts an orange glow over his face, making his hair look like a halo of fire. It dims as he lights his cigarette, taking a long drag, and Steve can’t help but stare at the way Eddie’s lips draw together when he inhales and then breaths out a cloud of smoke. Steve never really liked the smell of tobacco, but it reminds him solely of Eddie now.
Jason Carver, of course, has to come and ruin the night.
“You’ve got some nerve showing your face here.” he spits out, his sudden appearance startling them both. Eddie remains cool, thought, tapping the ash of his cig out the window where Jason stands.
“Hey, I paid to get in like the rest of ya,” Eddie jokes.
“Harrington? Seriously?” Jason says, curling his lip. “You’re friends with this devil-worshiper?”
“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” Steve replies without hesitating.
“C’mon, man, we should go,” One of Jason’s friends pipes up, and he glares back at them. Still, he takes a step away from Eddie’s window, but not without trying to get the last word in.
“...Just because the cops said you’re innocent doesn’t mean Hawkins thinks that.” Jason sneers. “Get out of here while you still can, faggot.”
As they walk away, Steve barely even hears Eddie’s response, his ears are too busy ringing, rage flowing through his body out of nowhere.
“Wow. So original. Haven’t heard that one before.” Eddie sounds like he’s rolling his eyes, but Steve’s too busy staring daggers at Jason’s back as he walks away.
“Pieces of shit. I should jump Carver’s skinny ass.” Steve mutters, and he means it, too. Steve wants to break his fucking face.
“Eh, don’t worry about it.” Eddie tells him, nonchalant, like he didn’t just get called- that . Steve looks back towards Eddie, who’s exhaling a puff of smoke.
“How can you just shrug that off?” Steve asks, wide-eyed.
“S’ not like I don’t hear that all the time.” Eddie shrugs, again, and Steve wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he opens his mouth again, voice dropping to a mumble. “Not like they’re wrong, either.”
Steve didn’t want to find out like this.
“...Eddie,” he says, but Eddie interrupts him before he can get another word out.
“Can you just drop it, Steve?” Eddie snaps at him. He’s never done that before, not like that, and it stings. Steve’s mouth tastes bitter.
“I just- I just don’t talk about yourself like that, alright?” he protests, but Eddie’s not having it.
“I can talk about myself however I want.”
“But-” Steve tries, again, but it only seems to push Eddie to the edge of his nerves.
“You don’t get to dictate how I talk about myself, alright?” his voice is low but harsh as he spits back at Steve. “King Steve certainly wasn’t heckled and called a fucking queer every day of his high school reign, was he? So don’t tell me how to talk about myself.” Eddie gives him an icy look, and Steve hates it.
“Cat’s out of the bag, I guess. If it wasn’t fucking obvious, I’m as bent as they come!” he snuffs his cig out on the dash, extinguishing the pinprick of orange light. The movie’s over, everyone’s leaving, and Steve feels like he missed the ending. Eddie turns his key in the ignition, and the van shakes to life, and Steve’s trying to control the way his body wants to shiver. The Black Sabbath tape Eddie had put in before they left Steve’s was still playing.
“ Oh, lonely is the word, yeah, yeah, yeah, ” Dio’s voice carries over the speakers as they drive into the night. It’s not long before they’re in Steve’s driveway, and Steve wants to make it all right, but he can’t figure out what to say.
“Man, I just-” he breaths, trying to not show cracks in his exterior, but it’s already the wrong choice of words.
“Don’t you man me, Steve. Christ, don’t fucking man me.” Eddie shakes his head, and Steve can’t help but feel like he missed the ending of another movie, too.
“I’ll- Just-” Eddie stutters out in a frustrated voice. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
Steve’s mind is sputtering thoughts out at him, but he can’t vocalize any of them. Come on, Steve, you can do this. Find the words. Make it right.
He can’t, though. Can’t do it. Can’t find the words. Can’t make it right. So he gets out, and stands helplessly on the gravel path as Eddie drives away.
Steve makes it inside and it’s worse somehow, because on the back of the couch is Eddie’s vest. He must have left it there when Steve ran back upstairs to get his wallet, and the sight of it makes his stomach lurch. Steve doesn’t stop to think about why he left it, doesn’t want to consider all of the possibilities, just grabs it and heads upstairs.
-
Waking up in jeans is never a good thing, and it’s worse when you have another piece of denim pressing wrinkles into your face, especially if that second piece of denim is of emotional significance. Steve does not want to leave his bed today, but it’s just him and Robin, so it’s not like he can call out. So he rolls out of bed, changes his clothes, and snatches his keys and wallet from the top of his dresser, subsequently knocking something onto the ground. He picks up the fallen object- his walkman, which doesn’t get much use these days, as he’s usually listening to music in his own car, or someone else’s.
A dim lightbulb goes off above Steve’s head, and soon enough he’s digging through his desk drawers, trying to find something he forgot about long ago. The thing he’d bought a dual cassette deck for, because he was so miserable at the time he had nothing better to do. Finally, in a shoe box under a stack of old high school grade reports, he finds it: an unlabeled TDK cassette tape. He sticks it into his walkman and hits rewind before heading to his car.
Robin biked to work today, and thank god for that, because Steve really doesn’t want to sit through a Q and A session about how last night had taken a turn for the worse.
“Steve, what’s going on?” Robin pesters him again, brows furrowed in concern.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Steve repeats, and Robin frowns.
“Do you want to, like, organize the back room, or something? It’s not too busy, I can watch the front.” Robin offers, speaking in a gentle voice, and Steve nods, retreating without another word.
In between the shelves of overstock candy and backup tapes, Steve puts on his headphones and presses play on the walkman, drowning out his stupid, miserable brain with the sound of sad music. Robin checks on him a few times, probably because she can hear the tinny echo of George’ Michael’s voice in the distance, but Steve waves her away.
By closing time, the soft vocals from Steve’s mixtape are looping in his head, even without the music playing. He’s rewinding it again when Robin approaches him.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Steve nods back at her sullenly.
“Look, Steve... whatever happened, I’m here for you, okay?” Robin says, giving him a soft punch on the shoulder in a sisterly manner.
“Yeah,” Steve breaths. “I know.”
Steve doesn’t deserve a friend as good as Robin, he can’t help but think as he sits in his car outside the Family Video. She’s pushy, when she needs to be, but leaves him alone when she knows he might break if she pushes too hard. He knows exactly what she’s say if he told her what happened with Eddie. Go talk to him , urges the little Robin in his head. Go apologize!
“Robin is always right.” Steve sighs as he starts his car with one destination in mind.
Eddie doesn’t arrive for a while, so Steve perches himself on the hood of the car, watching as the sun dips below the trailer park and the moths start to gather around Eddie’s porch light. The crunch of gravel under the van’s tires alert Steve of the arrival he’s been waiting for, and whatever he had planned to say is quickly becoming a jumbled mess.
“Persistent as ever, Harrington.” Eddie says as he shuts the van door. He walks towards Steve with that piercing gaze that makes him feel like he stepped into a bonfire.
“I’m sorry, okay?” Steve says, scratching the back of his head. “I know you’re mad at me, and I get it, and, and- I know I was being an ass, but I don’t wanna just leave it at that, because I hate you being mad at me, and I guess you’re right, I don’t know when to quit!” The word vomit is spilling out of him again, and he keeps rambling even when he hears Eddie say his name. “I’m just- I’m sorry, you were right, I shouldn’t tell you what to do, I just hate it when someone I- when someone I care about talks about himself like that, alright?”
Steve’s words hang in the air, and he’s feeling naked all of the sudden, hanging onto the sound of Eddie’s breath to remind himself he’s still there.
“...It’s alright, Steve.” Eddie breaks the silence, and Steve looks up to find him beaming softly.
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah.” Eddie nods, and Steve nods back, glancing tentatively between Eddie’s face and the ground.
“You’re right, y’know.” Eddie speaks up again, walking past Steve. “You don’t know when to quit.” the ring of keys hanging from his finger clink together, and an amused smile dances on his lips. “Good thing I like that about you.”
Steve can feel himself flush all the way to his feet. Eddie waves him over to the door wordlessly, and Steve follows like a beckoned dog. Steve decides he doesn’t mind being wrapped around Eddie’s finger.
The lock clicks and Eddie pushes the door open, immediately pulling off his boots as he steps inside. Steve does the same, unlacing his sneakers and leaving them by the couch next to Eddie’s.
“I’m fuckin’ tired.” Eddie states, turning back to Steve, and he’s got that smirk on his face again that lets Steve know he can relax.
“You want me to tuck you in, Munson?” Steve quips back.
“You offering?”
Steve can feel the rush of blood to his face again. Eddie’s got him speechless, tripping over his own words as he grabs him by the wrist, long fingers enveloping it.
“C’mon,” Eddie says, pulling Steve down the hall and into his room. Eddie keeps the lights off as he kicks the door shut behind them, then flops down on his bed, drawing Steve in with him.
“Oh, okay,” Steve giggles, high pitched and nervous, because he’s not really sure this is happening.
“Don’t quit on me now, Stevie. Tuck me in.” Eddie says, and Steve feels a soft jab in his side.
“Uh, don’t you want to take that off first?” Steve gives the sleeve of Eddie’s jacket a tug in return.
“ Steve Harrington ,” Eddie gasps, feigning shock as he sits up, “Do you take me to be some sort of harlot ?”
The glint of moonlight peeking in through the windows shines onto Eddie’s jewelry, and the necklaces hanging down look like stars suspended from him.
“I- I just thought it would be more comfortable!”
“Suuuure.” Eddie grins down at him, sliding his jacket off anyways.
“Hey, who dragged who into bed?” Steve jokes, and Eddie’s soft-spoken response has his guts in a knot:
“Are you flirting with me, Stevie?”
“I...” Steve feels like his breath is trapped in his throat for a moment, but he hears the little Robin in his head, telling him he can do it. “I guess I am, yeah.”
His pulse is counting the beats as the silence overtakes Eddie’s room, and Steve begins to panic.
“Eddie, is that- is that okay?” he’s stumbling now, and he hopes Eddie can’t hear the tension in his voice when he asks.
“Well, I don’t just drag anyone into my bed, do I?” Eddie responds, lighthearted as ever. Steve can’t take it anymore- he grasps in the dark until he finds Eddie’s hand, and a sense of relief washes over him when Eddie grabs back, slotting his slender fingers together with Steve’s.
“I’m... “ Steve breaths, and there’s still that knot in his stomach, that feeling he’d get when he was little and sleeping without a nightlight. “I’m scared, Eddie.”
It’s stupid, really, the way Steve feels so terrified at the thought of kissing someone just cuz of what’s in their pants. Just because it’s new. A gentle touch on his face almost makes Steve jump, but it’s just Eddie, curling his hand under Steve’s chin, finger tracing his jaw. Steve presses into his touch.
“I’m right here, Stevie,” Eddie tells him. “Don’t be scared, okay?” Steve has the fleeting thought that Eddie sounds nervous, too, and then there’s a brush of contact against his lips. Part of Steve thinks, Oh, this is what it’s like , while the other part rushes to return the pressure. Steve leans into it, and there’s a flutter in his chest when he can feel Eddie humming into the kiss. Steve has to pull back to catch his breath before his lungs give out.
“Holy shit, Eddie,” Steve laughs, drawing a breath in. “Do that again.”
“Careful, Steve, you’re gonna give me an ego,” Eddie says before closing the distance between them again.
If giving Eddie an ego is the price of kissing him, Eddie’s gonna be an egomaniac soon, and Steve’s gonna still be getting the best kisses of his life. He’s not so sure why part of him was afraid, specifically about kissing Eddie- it’s really not that different from kissing a girl. It’s just kissing someone he likes. Really, he hasn’t kissed someone he’s liked for years now, since Nancy, because he went along with those pretty girls on movie dates he was only half interested in, knowing that they only had one thing in mind. Now his finger are in Eddie’s long hair and Eddie’s lips are on his and it’s the best feeling he’s had in a while.