Chapter Text
Robin Buckley was your average high-school senior for the 1980’s. She was in band, she had decent grades (nothing to brag about but nothing to be disappointed with), and she had failed her driving test more times than she could count. She was wonderfully normal if you ignored how she’d assisted in saving the world not once but twice, she was an atrocious babysitter, and she was gay. A queer. It was a surprisngly lonely world being a lesbian attending high-school in the 80’s, she was only just old enough to go the gay bars on the main street when they were open. It was even lonelier when she realised she was in love with one of her best friends who had no idea her soul worked that way, the way it ‘shouldn’t’, the way that went against everything she’d been taught growing up. Nancy Wheeler was everything she could’ve ever dreamed of. It was how she pursed her lips while trying to solve a mystery like a real life Nancy Drew, how she laughed when Steve made some dumbass joke, and how she held herself as if she held no insecurities that made Buckley fall head over heels for her. Robin knew everyone felt ashamed of some part of themselves, she was observant like that, but Nancy just looked so care-free at every turn. She had the confidence of a goddess, a goddess Robin wanted to wrap herself in the warmth of and hide from the world with.
Robin knew none of this was realistic. Nancy was one of the straightest girls she ever knew.. and she knew a lot of straight girls unfortunately. They were total opposites, too, even on the off-chance that Nancy liked women and on the even slimmer chance she showed any inch of interest towards her, what would they do together? Argue about whether they’re going to watch ‘The Fog’ or ‘The Breakfast Club’? Complain about long drives to either the library or the Indiana State Museum? It was a hopeless little dream that the brunette held close to her heart, too close for comfort, in fact so close that whenever Nancy was around she had to hold herself back from saying too much. Nance didn’t even know that she was queer, what if she scared her off by blurting it out? A relationship would never happen. It was an uncomfortable concept that would itch at her until Wheeler was no longer around or until she just.. let it all out. Neither of which were viable options so Robin was left to wiggle and wiggle she did. The only people that knew of her ongoing struggles as a lesbian in the 80’s were Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson.. except they didn’t know the addition of her crushing on their mutual dear friend.
“Ro? Roooo? Hello? Earth to Buckley?”
Robin blinked at the sight of a ringed hand waving in her face, various skulls and demon-like creatures carved out of silver. She’d completely zoned out into a day-dreaming trance of Nancy Wheeler whilst getting high round the back of the school with Eddie Munson. She didn’t do drugs as often as him, nor did she deal like he did, but she dabbled. Hey, she had to take advantage of the 20% off for family and friends discount right? She watched the long-haired man lean back, a smirk on his lips as he inhaled another round of smoke from the blunt he was holding. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were day-dreaming ‘bout some girl,” he commented, breathing out to let the deadly air leave his lungs.
“But you do know better, don’t you?” Robin shot back, a defensiveness washing over her that she didn’t know existed, “why would you suggest such a thing? Can I not just zone out and think about.. I don’t know, school or work or-or how we saved the world last month? Huh?”
A laugh left Eddie’s lips as he shook his head in the most irritating way. “No, you cannot. Come on, Robin. Your cheeks were bright pink, your pupils dilated to shit more than what weed would do, and look at how defensive you are.. talk to me, rant to ol’ Eddie,” he enjoyed making fun of his age but he was only a year older than the others in his class.
Robin found herself frowning at him, her brows furrowed and her lips pursed. She didn’t want to tell him anything, especially anything about Nancy. Those thoughts were hers and hers alone. The weight of this crush was meant to be kept to its owner. It’s not that she didn’t trust Eddie.. it’s that she didn’t trust Eddie when he was doped out on snow.
“I won’t give you a name,” she compromised. She watched Munson’s face light up, leaning his elbows on the table with his hands cupping his face like some school-girl ready to hear the gossip, “she.. she’s beautiful. When she smiles I feel all bubbly and-and it’s like the entire room lights up, you know?” She looked up to see he was still intently paying attention.
“I somewhat know. Please, go on,” Eddie encouraged, enjoying seeing his friend so excited over something other than a brass trumpet that made ungodly sounds.
Robin gave a little nod, looking down at the cigar in her hands. She had a nervous inhale, exhaling just as quickly because Lord her lungs were not used to the cancerous smoke. “Uh, she’s really smart.. like super smart. She makes this face when she’s trying to figure something out that’s super cute. She like scrunches her nose and her brows go all crossed. Her fashion sense.. It's questionable but absolutely iconic. Whenever she speaks I feel like I’m going to just melt into a puddle of Robin Buckley soup right on the ground, her voice is so perfect and melodic an-and the words she uses instantly sound more beautiful just because she’s the one speaking them..”
“Oh really now?” Eddie chimed in with a teasing tone, that familiar smirk coming back to his features, “that’s very poetic for you, Ro.”
“Shut it, Dipshit,” Robin grumbled, putting her blunt out on the picnic bench they were sitting at and letting it sit on the wooden surface. She wasn’t known for being good with her words. She overspoke and stumbled every second sentence. There was just something about Nancy that made her want to spout Shakespeare or some other infamous ballad writer.
Eddie raised his hands in a surrendering manner, placing them onto the bench to also stump out his blunt. He opened his metal lunchbox, putting both cigars into the container before closing it up. “I still think you’re crushing, Robin, and I mean crushing. Does she deserve your attention, though? Does this.. mystery mademoiselle deserve these kinds of declarations?” He questioned. Robin had done this before, devoted her entire soul to a woman (Vickie) and it had completely blown up in her face. Vickie did like women.. plural. Anyway, it had been a nasty break-up of Robin finding a pile of love letters from numerous people, multiple of which had been sent just a couple of weeks earlier when they had gotten together. So she’d broken things off and gone to a dumb party that evening with Steve to be his wingman as per usual.
The woman thought about it and she found her face softening into a frown. Did Nancy pay attention to her? Not really. She kind of viewed her as a lesser person, a dumb person and she was dumb but she didn’t appreciate other people making it so obvious. Didn’t that just make Nancy honest? She did ask stupid questions during very important moments like when they were investigating the Creel’s murder/possession.
“I don’t like how long you’re taking to think about this,” Eddie murmured, reaching a hand over to gently hold hers, “it might really, really suck but this wonderful woman you’re describing.. Maybe she’s not so wonderful? Maybe you want her to be something she isn’t. Is she actually ‘really smart’ if she can’t appreciate what’s right in front of her?” He suggested and he sounded way too flirtatious.
“Woahhh buddy, cool it. Lesbian remember? Lesbian. Absolute raging lesbian,” Robin said, pulling her hand back as she raised an umimpressed brow at her friend.
“Oh I am well aware! I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just bullshit the way you’re being treated when you deserve so much better. Even if this woman were just to remain a friend, your lack of defensiveness shows she’s a snob and likely an ass,” Eddie stated, shrugging his shoulders as he leaned back a little, his ringed fingers tapping against the wooden table in front of the two, “I actually have my own unreachable crush. We’re just two queers in the same position, I guess,” he let out a sigh. He was pansexual. He didn’t care what gender the person he liked was as long as they were hot and not a republican (god damn it Kurt Russell).
Robin perked up at this, leaning forward a little with her elbows now on the table. “Oh really? So I have a mystery woman and you have a mystery man? It seems as if you want to get my take on them,” she pointed out, it was her turn to have a playful smirk on her rosy lips.
He let out a breathy chuckle, shrugging his shoulders once more. He didn’t enjoy self-indulging conversations. Eddie would much rather sit there and let Robin or Steve or whoever was buying from him vent about their life, their problems instead of his own. It just made them all feel so much more real. “Well.. he’s a complete dumbass. He’s wasting his time on people that clearly don’t care about him so he has an atrocious taste. Uh, what else? He’s really attractive, I wouldn’t say hot but.. no, yeah, I would definitely say hot. He has amazing hair, like myself,” he jokingly flipped his hair over his shoulder which made Robin laugh, “he really cares about people. He puts himself in harm's way to make sure others are safe. He’s even hotter when he pulls shit like that. He does this funny dad-like stance where he puts his hands on his hips, always looking so disappointed when someone does something stupid.. so yeah, maybe less wonderful then your Jane Doe but wonderful nonetheless.”
“Maybe they’re the same amount of wonderful but you’re just not as well versed in poetry as I,” Robin teased and Eddie laughed. She let out a sigh, letting her hands come back to her lap. She tried racking her brain for who his mystery man might be, knowing he was likely doing the same about her woman.. and oh shit.
Her face softened immediately as she started putting the pieces together that were right in front of her. She didn’t know how she hadn’t seen it all before. A complete dumbass or a complete dingus, someone always wasting their time on women that were only interested in the physical sides of a relationship with absolutely no care for the emotional needs of the other individual, someone who was quite attractive (to someone who enjoyed the appearance of men), someone who could have iconic hair, someone who really cares about people maybe even more than themself, and someone who did a dad-like stance when someone did something stupid.. someone like Steve Harrington. Robin blinked a little. Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson had a crush on Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. They were total polar opposites but the four teens had spent a lot of emergency bonding time together in The Upside Down.. maybe even enough to form emotional connections that wouldn’t have necessarily been there. They were all friends now, an unlikely crew of misfits for all different reasons, misfits falling in love with each other. She couldn’t believe she’d been so slow to see the connection forming between the two. It made so much sense! The way they looked at each other, the nervous smiles, the red cheeks that often stained Eddie’s face whenever he spoke to or about Steve that were similar to the one’s currently displayed, and the way they flinched a bit too much when their hands brushed.
“Robin? You’ve been quiet for a really long time.. hey, I get that you like day-dreaming about your Little Miss Perfect but I’m right here,” Eddie joked, tempted to wave his hand in front of her face like he’d needed to do earlier in their conversation.
The girl blinked, snapped out of her spiralling thoughts. “You like Steve, don’t you?” She breathed, nothing but clarity displayed on her features. She’d been so blind, “Harrington. You like Harrington. That’s your crush. It’s.. you like Steve? Ed, he’s..”
“Straighter than a ruler? Yeah, I know which is why I didn’t really want anyone finding out including you because, as usual, I’d like to stay in my little fantasy land of possibilities,” Eddie said defensively as he got to his feet. He jolted his shoulders, shrugging his leather jacket back on with the effort as well as the denim overlay he wore. He wasn’t an open person so when he was open and someone slammed reality in his face? Yeah, he didn’t deal with it very well.
“I know. I’m so sorry, Eddie.. maybe he’s just closeted? There is hope. I can talk to him about it, just casually bring up sexualities. He asks me weird lesbian questions all the time. One time he asked whether I was attracted to boats because they use she/her pronouns,” Robin explained, also getting to her feet.
“No, no I don’t want you to do that. This was my thing. It still is my thing and you know what, Buckley? Your little mystery woman, Nancy, is as straight as uncooked spaghetti,” the man spoke callously, turning on his heels and beginning his trudge out of the woods, his doc martins crunching on the fallen autumn leaves below his feet.
Robin was left standing in the clearing, her mouth slightly agape. She hadn’t meant it like that. She hadn’t meant to point out Steve’s current status of ‘heterosexual male’ to be cruel. She just worked logically, it’s how she stopped herself from spiralling and she thought it could help other people out. She had never meant to make Eddie feel unheard, never meant to push him into a corner of defensive bitterness where he spoke out of anger instead of concern. It didn’t matter though, did it? Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington were their straight friends, their allies. They would never date them. That was their reality and it was one she had been trying to avoid. She only deserved it though, didn’t she? She’d spoken without thinking, blurting out about how Steve was to try and avoid both of her friends from getting hurt when instead it would be her left with the uncomfortable familiar feeling of loneliness. She swallowed back the tangy taste of bile in the back of her throat, her shaking hands coming up to wipe under her eyes to ensure no tears had managed to escape. The woman knew better than to go after him but that left her here, in the middle of a wooded clearing, nothing but the clouded sun to keep her company. That was okay, she was used to it. Most days all she could do was move on and smile through the anxiety, knowing that loneliess was merely about the scariest thing out there and right now? That was losing Nancy Wheeler, Eddie Munson, and Steve Harrington.