Chapter Text
It was the last day of school. From the dungeon which was her room, she could hear the faint sounds of teenagers chugging beers and the music blaring from a high school student's house. She drifts around the corners of the bedroom, occasionally hitting the lower parts of the roof of the attic. She stares out of the windows idly, a weird hyper pop playlist playing softly in the background.
She was going to call Kat or one of the other girls to come over but they were probably all sucking on some dude's face at the party. She only didn't go because she didn't want to see the face of a tall, beautiful brunette. Actually, she hasn't really gone to any parties after said girl screamed in her face. Rue had never raised her voice at her. She had frightened her when she did.
The night she went missing, Jules was terrified. Crying as she searched the neighborhood, along with the others. She knew it was partly her fault but she didn't know it would end up like that. She was worried sick and threw up on the sidewalk. When she was found, Jules cut ties with the Bennett household and Elliot. She was embarrassed and afraid. Rue had only fought with Leslie and stormed their home because Jules decided to tell Leslie. Leslie and Gia had almost lost their daughter and sister that day.
So from that night onwards, she had to accept that Rue left her and it was okay. Because she fucked up. She deserved it and hurt rue and her family. She accepted that they were over and she would probably never see her again after they graduated.
This wasn't until she sees her right now, walking on the sidewalk. She stares at her from the window, gazing at her sadly. She watches as her body slowly tips into the road, her movements turned into a sort of giddy walk as if her limbs were moving on their own accord. Or she was upside down or something. Jules frowns, peering closer.
Suddenly, Rue Bennett was by her front yard, tripping on her own steps and toppling into a bush.
"Rue?"She calls out despite the window being closed. Frantically, she runs out of her house and willingly throws herself out into the sultry night air.
"Oh god."She squeaks, trying to get to her side with big, anxious steps.
"Rue."She calls again. This time the girl was in earshot and heard her. She slumps up in a daze and laughs at her.
"Shit, rue."Her face crumples into concern."Are you okay?"
"Wait, obviously you're not. You are like, fucking high or drunk right now!" She sighs with a worried tone, her eyes widening in panic. Her hands rise aimlessly, not knowing what to do.
Rue was looking at her house. Slowly, she points at it, and a frown sets on her face. Her movements were almost like a sloth.
"I know this place."She chuckles and tries to get up before falling onto the ground. This time she wasn't so lucky. She lands on the rocky pavement. Jules winces, helping her up.
"Are you hurt?"
Rue's face was inches away from her. The closest she had been ever since that night. Her eyes were dull. Jules helps her into her house, worried that she would get into further trouble or danger if she was to continue wandering around the street. Rue murmurs something that sounds like Jules as they made their way into the house.
Jules brings her into her room despite Rue's sluggish movements. She had to make her clutch onto her torso to silence the noises she was making from touching the walls and falling on the steps.
"My dad's asleep okay?"She whispers."Just, hang on."
She tries as gently as possible to let her onto her bed but the girl flings herself at it instead.
"I'm - um, going to get you water, stay here."She tells, brushing the strands of hair that had fallen, away from her own face.
Without tearing her gaze away from the slump on her bed which was Rue, she closes the door. She sniffs as she runs as quietly as she could to the kitchen.
As she waits for the machine to fill the glass, she thinks that maybe the effects of her fucking up were still present. She should have told her how she was feeling when they were together. She should have treated her like she deserved. She should have at least checked up on her.
Tears well up in her eyes as she grabs the glass and dashes up to the room.
"Hey, rue."She says softly, walking to her side carefully.
Rue was on leaning by the side of her bed, blinking.
"Hey, I got you some water."She crouches down and Rue blinks at her. Then, with a toothy smile, she says her name dreamily.
"Drink this, rue."She instructs tenderly, ignoring the fact that it was the first time she was looking at her with such genuine love in such an intimate setting. Just her and rue. Like they used to be. In their little private bubble of silence and mutual understanding.
She tells herself that this wasn't sober rue. That sober rue wouldn't even accept her help, let alone smile at her with such admiration. She would scream and leave her. Because she had hurt her.
Jules gulps as Rue takes the water and downs it, spilling some on her shirt.
"Are you high rue?"Jules doesn't know why she sounds like she was going to cry. Maybe that's just her voice. She should really stop being so sensitive.
"No." She whispers. She clears her throat."I just-um drank and smoked some weed - that's all."
"Okay."She replies as softly. The moment was tender until rue's gaze on her turns hard. As if someone had pressed a switch. Maybe it was jules.
Jules clenches her jaw, features morhping into concern. (and maybe fear)
"You know jules,"Rue takes a deep breath, flaring her nose as she did."You fucking killed me."
"You killed me when you told my mom."Her tone was harsh and cold."This thing, whatever this is."She points at herself, kicking her legs,"It's like some fucking ghost."
"Like-"Her voice cracks, finding for words she continues," Like you killed me and i became like this. And-and i'm going to have to kill myself and die a second time."
Rue was shouting at jules, exactly like on that day. Except this time, jules knew what she was feeling and she knew what she had done. Heat gathers at her throat as she tries to stare at Rue with the same hardness while trying to swallow it down. This time she was just going to get rue to sleep, call her mom and in the morning it will be like this never happened.
"Jules, im currently wanted by some creepy stoned drug dealer."She raises her voice. She meets jules eyes again, staring at it intensely. Her breathing gets harder then slowly gets slower. For a moment, jules thinks that she was calming her down. Later she would notice that rue's eyes were wet and everytime she blinks her eyelashes gets more damp,and she would realise it was fear,
"She's gonna kill me before i even get the chance to do it myself." Her voice was croaky and tears surrender themselves as they moistened her cheeks. Jules ressisted the urge to wipe them off/
She can't fight off her lips from quivering as she watch the girl slowly break in front of her. Delicately, she moves to hug her. To her relief, rue melts into her embrace. She moved them so that she was leaning on her chest and not the bed as rue's sobs broke into the surface. (weirdly, jules thinks that the alcohol had pulled her out of whatever she was drowning from.)
"Rue, you could have told us."Jules cries. Rue stiffens.
"If you had forgotten, jules, you guys were the ones who threw them away." She mumbles defeatedly.
"No, you would have never been able to like, have that much fucking money rue."She didn't meant for it to sound that harsh but it did and as if rue had sobered up, she comes out of the embrace, staring at her expectantly.
"We-we would have helped you rue."She said with her anxious, high-pitched voice. This time she didn't restrict her own movements. Naturally, her body moves closer to rue. Her face scrunches up in desperation as she waits for an answer.
"When?"She asks retorically."When you were sucking Eliot's fucking face?"
Jules was on the bed now, legs hanging by the sides.
Rue takes the silence as remorse and almost smiles."Yes, i know about you two fucking each other behind my backs. I just didn't fucking care because i was high."
A pause (filled with jules sniffing and her muffled sobs from covering her mouth with her hand) and she continues,"And i still don't really care, jules. Because you're dead to me."
Jules thinks she's the most pathetic person on earth as she uses her sleeves to wipe at her own tears.
"I'm sorry."She gaspes out.
Rue continues to breathe heavily. Gradually, she tries to get on the bed but her knees buckles and she falls again. Jules swallows, quietly helping her settle in her bed.
Both of them lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling as Norman Fucking Rockwell fades out.