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Danny saw Catherine come outside to join the group out on the lawn who were beginning to enjoy the array of foods Kamekona was preparing on the lanai. The beer was flowing and it was beginning to take on the flavor of an Irish wake in Hawaii. Something told him Doris would approve. As fond as she was of Catherine, he doubted she would approve of much else that was going on, but the reception would have pleased her.
His side hurt like there were knives stuck in it, and his knee was starting to throb. Steve was right - he usually was, though Danny would have taken cyanide before admitting it - he was overdoing it and he wasn’t quite up to all the standing, walking, and activity. He was just contemplating taking a pain pill and looking for Steve when Melissa slipped her arm through his with a somewhat plastic smile on her face for appearances.
“Okay, Danny, what’s going on?”
“I know I owe you an explanation.”
“That’s an understatement,” she said, and it was on the tip of his tongue to remind her that she didn’t exactly hold the prize for honesty either, but there was no point in turning the conversation vicious.
“Let’s take a walk and I’ll explain.” Walking on the beach sounded like torture at the moment, but everywhere else would have put them in earshot of other guests, and sitting somewhere would have invited others to join them.
“Why don’t you start by telling me what happened to you?” she asked as they walked along the shore.
“I was arrested and taken to a jail in Colombia for shooting Marco Reyes, the drug lord I told you about. This was courtesy of the welcoming committee,” he said, gesturing at himself.
“My God, Danny, you didn’t think I needed to know that?”
“They nearly killed me there. I only got a few seconds on the phone with Grace, and I had to trick them to get that. When I got home, I was exhausted and pretty out of it and I just needed to rest for a while.”
“How did you get out?”
“Steve negotiated my release. I can’t really go into more detail than that. I’m just grateful to be alive and back with my daughter.”
“When were you going to call me?”
“Soon."
"I thought we had something special, Danny." She shook her head. "I can understand if you couldn't call when it happened, but when you got home... I could have stayed with you, helped out with Grace."
"I appreciate that thought, but uh...Steve's been staying with me since I got home."
"Well, at least you weren't alone then. What's going on here?" She stopped walking and turned to face Danny.
"There's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it. Steve and I are together."
"Together? You mean...together?"
"Yeah, together." He took in as deep a breath as his ribs permitted. "It's permanent. I suppose it's been there a long time but it took us a while to figure it out. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
"I'm trying to be happy for you, but I don't think I've made it there yet," she said, gesturing with her hand.
"I understand," he replied, nodding.
"I think I'll go now," she said, looking like she might break down.
"Amber -"
"My name is Melissa," she shot back, throwing her hands up before she walked away angrily.
"Shit," Danny muttered, standing there and watching her leave. It wasn't that he regretted anything about his relationship with Steve, or ending the relationship with Amber...Melissa. Delivering bad news to people he cared about was never at the top of his list.
"Hey." Steve's voice startled him out of his thoughts. He forced himself to stay put and not rush toward Steve and into his arms.
"Hey," he replied, glad that Steve was almost to where he stood, that they had a moment alone.
"I saw Melissa leaving."
"I called her Amber and I told her about us."
"Oh. That explains the death stare I got when she passed me."
"Yeah. How'd Catherine take it?"
"I guess you'd say she took it well. She sort of called me out on being in love with you for a long time." He paused, looking out at the ocean. "She wasn't wrong."
"Melissa's upset. Angry. I'm not really surprised."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Okay," Steve said, still staring out at the ocean.
"Doesn't seem like it should all be so hard." Danny sighed, then put his hand over his side. "Keep forgetting I'm not supposed to breathe, either."
"You should get off your feet and take it easy for a while," Steve said. Then he reached over and took Danny's hand.
"Where'd you have in mind for that weekend?"
"Just a place on the beach," Steve said. "Kind of sounds ridiculous since this is a place on the beach, doesn't it?"
"A place with no memories and where nobody can find us? I see the distinction," Danny replied, smiling, squeezing Steve's hand.
"Nice thought." Steve turned and took Danny in his arms, holding him close, but with his usual gentleness to avoid putting pressure on Danny's bruises. "I love you."
"That's a nice thought, too," Danny said, and he felt Steve's little chuckle. "I love you, too, Steven."
"You smell good." Steve kissed Danny's temple, his cheek, then nuzzled his neck.
"Steve...I can't..."
"I know, I wouldn't try anything until you're healed. Until you want it, too."
"I wanted it for so long and now that I can have it, I can't. It's not fucking fair and I'm so sick of it." Danny hated that his voice shook and tears burned his eyes.
"It's okay."
"There's nothing wrong with you. You shouldn't have told Catherine anything...you could have had her back in your life now that she’s back in the US. You shouldn't waste your time on me because I might never be normal or I might get sick or..."
Danny was expecting Steve to reassure him that there was no hurry, that he wasn't going to get sick, that everything would be okay. Danny really didn't need that at the moment, and he was stunned that Steve seemed to read his mind and just stood there and gave him what he did need: a long, close embrace and words that he did need to hear.
"I love you. You're the one I want, okay? We're gonna have a good life together and the rest will work itself out. I shouldn't have made the comment about you smelling good."
"Beats you telling me my deodorant stopped working out here in the sun," Danny said, pulling back a little. "I'm sorry I jumped on it. Sometimes it's just hard..."
"Of course it is, sweetheart. You went through hell and you're still healing up. Don't feel pressured. I can't help it if the way you smell, the way you taste, the way you move...if that does things to me. Good things."
"Sweetheart, huh?"
"Is that okay?"
"Yeah, it's okay, babe," Danny said, smiling.
"Good, then let me hug you again because I want to smell your hair in the sunshine." Steve pulled him close and Danny could feel him nosing his hair.
"My hair smells different in the sunshine?"
"It gets warm and then it smells good. And it's that beautiful gold color when the sun hits it."
"Wow. Nobody ever told me that before."
"Just relax and be with me and let me smell your hair and hear your voice first thing in the morning and argue with me and let me drive your car. What we've already got is what I always wanted. Please stop feeling like it's not enough...that you're not enough. Just the way you are right now...no matter what happens."
"Really? 'Cause it's beautiful for me, babe, but you're okay and I'm the screwed up one."
"Yeah, that's right, Danny. I have no problems. I'm perfect."
"You know what I meant," Danny replied, snorting a little laugh.
"You talk too much, Danno. Shut up and kiss me." Steve framed his face and kissed him, not letting him up for air until he'd had his fill.
********
Steve couldn’t help but feel he’d been caught by a disapproving parent when he saw Joe striding across the sand toward them. He’d just torn himself away from the very pleasant experience of kissing Danny so he could enjoy the other pleasant experience of looking into his eyes and seeing him smile and knowing he’d put that smile there. Danny noticed Joe approaching about the same time Steve did and started to back away from Steve a bit. Steve put his arm around Danny and kept him right where he was. He felt Danny’s arm go around his waist in response, and all felt right in his world.
“Steve, I was just getting ready to leave...I wanted to say good bye.”
“There are a couple things I need to ask you.”
“I don’t have all the answers about this situation. I’ve told you that.”
“I can go back up to the house,” Danny said.
“That might be best,” Joe replied.
“Danny’s my partner. Before too much longer, he’s gonna be my husband. Do you really think I’m not gonna tell him what’s going on just because you don’t say something in front of him?”
“I think you still remember how to handle confidential information. People who handle sensitive information requiring top security clearance are familiar with the rules about sharing that with family and friends. Even spouses.”
“Steve, it’s okay. I’ll wait for you at the house. Take your time.” Danny did walk away that time, and Steve let him.
“Fine, Danny’s gone, now what is this top secret information you couldn’t repeat in front of him? You want me to trust you, but you don’t trust me, and by extension, you don’t trust Danny, either.”
“No, I don’t trust Danny with some of the information I’d share with you. I haven’t known him as long, or as well, and he hasn’t been through the kind of security clearances you have. Plus he isn’t the son of my best friend, either. A man who’s integrity I never questioned.”
“If you trusted my judgment, then you’d trust me to make that call.”
“I trusted your judgment a lot more when you weren’t playing smoochie on the beach with your partner. Trusting him with your life and all your confidences because you believe that strongly in his integrity and bravery is one thing. Trusting him because you’re in love with him is something else, and it’s definitely not something to base the exchange of dangerous information on.”
“Are you sure you’re not turning this on Danny because of the change in our relationship?”
“Danny’s emotional and he doesn’t have the best impulse control in the world. I’m sure he’s a decent enough guy and he’s proven himself to be highly skilled and a good cop, but he still wouldn’t be someone I’d personally choose to have in my own unit, and I don’t think he’d have survived a full day of SEAL training.”
“Well, I guess you don’t have a problem sharing the truth when you feel like it.” Steve ran his hand over his face. “I need to know if what you’re telling me, about the score being balanced and danger to my family if I pursue my mother’s case is based on assumptions and ‘good advice’, or if there’s something solid you know. I need the truth about this, Joe.”
“I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t reliable.”
“So there’s a tangible source behind this? You’ve gotta understand, Joe, if I’m walking away from investigating my mother’s murder, I have to know there’s a real threat behind it, and not just propaganda or posturing.”
“You know as well as I do that things like this don’t come with guarantees. But let’s look at the pattern. First they came for Danny. Then they were going to let you have him back in exchange for the coke. You got Danny back and you destroyed their coke. Then your mother was killed. I think that’s a pretty big coincidence, considering some of the people who have wanted her dead over the years that she’s managed to avoid. So if you exact revenge, or justice, whatever you’re really after, I’m just saying this is a situation where I’d really expect to keep going back and forth until they come at you with a revenge horrific enough to finish it. You may be to that point now.”
“I can’t just write it off the way I used to, Joe - ignore a threat because there was no one close enough to me to matter. I’m not one to back down from a fight because someone threatens me. I have a family now and if they’re in danger, that’s a different story.”
“Your mother never quite found herself in the predicament you’re in, Steve. It was so counter to her nature to walk away from something because of her family that she never let that stop her from taking something on, and then when she reached that point of no return, she had to fake her own death to keep you, Mary, and your father safe. There’s no shame in admitting that your priorities have changed and you’re not the same as your mother. Or, maybe that you learned from her choices the ones you don’t want to make yourself.”
“I know what I feel about what happened to Matt, what Danny’s been through...what they did to him in Colombia,” Steve said, pausing, swallowing, knowing he couldn’t break Danny’s confidence to anyone. “How I’d feel to lose him or Grace, or to have someone go after Mary and Joanie...”
“I know you don’t fully trust me, Steve, and that’s okay. It’s what has always made you as good at what you do as you are. Your only fatal flaw is that when you do trust, you trust with your heart, and not always with your head. Your mother didn’t do that. She never really trusted anyone no matter how much she might feel for them. Which is why she frustrated you so much when you were reunited. She was never going to fully confide in you.”
“I guess I had that coming. After all, you had to get me out of North Korea after I went there with Jenna.”
“I wasn’t going to bring that up again.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“This thing with Danny...are you sure you’re not just blowing it out of proportion because he almost died?”
“I’m sure, but thanks for asking,” Steve replied, sarcastic.
“Was this how things were with Freddie Hart? ‘Cause I’ve gotta say, Steve, I never saw this coming.”
“No, it’s not how it was. He was like my brother.” Steve didn’t really want to get the next answer in so many words, but he had to ask. “You seem like you don’t approve of my relationship with Danny.”
“Would it matter?”
“If you mean would I change it because of someone else’s opinion, no. It matters because you were my dad’s best friend, and you’ve been like a second father to me pretty much all my life.”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I guess the fact you’re avoiding the question is an answer.”
“Your dad and I...our generation, military men...there are certain things we believe in, standards we represent...ideals of what it means to be a man, a soldier... It’s a lifetime of conditioning and training and beliefs.”
“I see,” Steve said, nodding, staring out at the water. “That’s disappointing.”
“Look, Steve, I want you to be happy and have a good life. That’s what your parents wanted for you and Mary. I’m not passing judgment on anything, but you’re pressing me to tell you how I feel about it, and it’s not what I would have chosen for you, and it would have been hard for your father to get used to. He loved his kids so I have to believe he’d have come to terms with it.”
“I asked for the truth, so I appreciate the honesty, even if it’s not what I wanted to hear. So far you’ve told me you don’t think much of the man I love and don’t really feel too great about the fact that I love him.”
“I think Danny’s a good enough man and a good cop. The men I had under my command, men like you, were a different breed...in a class by themselves.”
“Maybe not so much. If you’d known I was capable of falling in love with a man, you probably wouldn’t have thought I was fit for that group, either.”
“We’re all capable of a lot of things, son. It’s what we choose to do about those things that sets us apart. I’m old school, so was your dad. Times were different and attitudes were different.”
“Maybe I was looking for my dad’s approval. I guess I got my answer.”
“I shouldn’t speak for John.”
“You’re about the only one left who could.”
“I should go now. I wish you and Danny the best, Steve. I hope you're happy, and I hope you can make peace with some decision about Doris's death and move on with your life," he said, extending his hand. Steve shook it, silently, and watched him walk across the sand back toward the house, trying hard not to feel like he'd just lost another parent.
As Joe was leaving, Grace came into view, sprinting across the sand toward him, barefoot and her hair loose, but still wearing her black dress.
"Danno said to come and find you because the food's ready," she said, taking his hand.
"He did, huh?" Steve asked, smiling. Danny wouldn't send Grace to fetch him for that; he knew Steve would make it back eventually to have whatever culinary delight Kamekona had made for them. Grace was there to make him feel better, and she achieved that instantly.
"Are you okay, Uncle Steve?" she asked as they walked back toward the house.
"Yeah, I'm fine now." He was quiet a few seconds. "I love you and your dad a lot, Gracie."
"I know," she said, smiling up at him. "We love you, too."
"What would you think of moving here, Grace? Living here - you, me, and Danno?”
“You are closer to the beach here,” she said, grinning.
“You don’t seem too surprised by that idea.”
She just gave him a look.
“I’m treating you like a little kid again, right?”
“Kind of,” she said, laughing. “But it’s okay. Danno does it all the time and I still love him.”
“That’s a relief,” Steve replied, laughing now, too. Grace was always good medicine for his darkest moods. “Are you okay with your dad and me getting together like this?”
“Sure, why not? It’s not like it’s a big surprise.”
“Some people aren’t comfortable with same sex couples. If there was ever anything you were uneasy about, or not comfortable with, I’d want you to tell us.”
“I don’t think it should matter. If you love somebody, you should be with them.”
“I agree, and I’m glad you feel that way.”
“Did somebody say something mean? Today?”
“You don’t miss anything, do you, kiddo?” Steve said. “Not mean, exactly, just not...supportive, I guess?”
“That’s a special kind of mean, to say it today,” she said, letting go of Steve’s hand and sliding her arm around his waist instead. “That person’s not your friend if they said something like that about you and Danno when you already feel bad.”
“Maybe you’re right, Gracie.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ve got you and Danno, so I can take on anything,” he added, and she smiled.
“That’s what family’s for.”
Steve smiled, nodding. There were times she was so much like her father it was unsettling.
********
Danny’s follow-up appointment with his doctor resulted in a good report on his progress, but continued restrictions on his physical activities while his ribs continued to heal. Danny had expected as much, even though he hoped for some miracle of rapid healing or a moment of insanity from the doctor in approving him to go back to work. Desk duty was okay in two more weeks, and if he got a clean bill of health two weeks after that, he could go back on the job.
Grace’s Easter vacation seemed like the perfect time for their getaway, so the three of them packed up and headed for a rental cottage Steve had found that was not only on the beach, but boasted its own tropical garden that provided lush foliage and plenty of privacy. While it tested his self control not to make too many moves on Danny while he was still healing up, he figured there was no harm in cuddling, and Danny seemed agreeable to spending some prolonged time just relaxing in Steve’s arms in an oversize chaise lounge either in the shade or in the sun, though he soon grew tired of Steve’s fretting over his fair skin and how much sun block he had on.
Grace had fun swimming, surfing, hanging out on the beach, and texting with no limits other than to take a break for meals and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Lying in the lounge chair under stars and the moonlight, with the water lapping at the shore, Danny dozing off and on in his arms, Steve felt a decision fall into place.
“I’m not going to London.”
“Huh?” Danny yawned and rubbed at his eyes with one hand. Steve chuckled. It figured that he’d make a life-altering decision of monumental importance, at least to him, and Danny would sleep through the big reveal.
“I said, I’m not going to London.”
“You sure?” Danny asked.
“Yeah, positive.”
“Did you just decide that?”
“Just now.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m on my first family vacation in 25 years, and I kind of like it.”
“You know I’m not going anywhere.”
“You told me I was all done taking off without you.”
“I’d kind of like you to not want to take off without me anymore, but it’s not like I’d leave you if you did.”
“I know,” he said, stroking Danny’s hair, kissing his forehead. “My parents’ lives, decisions, choices...they’ve owned the first 38 years of my life, Danny. I want the rest of it. I want my own family and my own life. I’ve got that with you and Gracie and I don’t want to poke another hornet’s nest and screw it up.”
“Maybe we’ve both poked enough hornets’ nests for a while. I mean, we still have to kind of poke some of them for the job, but maybe we could put the international intrigue aside,” he said, looking up at Steve.
“That’s what I was thinking.”
“I’m glad you’re not going to London. I was gonna go with you if you did, because there’s no way I’d let you go alone to do that.”
“There’s always going to be another layer here, Danny. Going to London wouldn’t be the end of it. That trail would lead somewhere else, and then there’d be another lead going in a different direction and I’d wake up ten years later in some bizarre part of the world and Grace would be graduating from college and even if I was lucky enough that you survived all the twists and turns of it, we’d have missed another big part of our lives we could have spent together and had some happiness.”
“You’re right.” Danny sighed. “I wish we could make love right now.”
“Me, too, Danno," he replied, nibbling on Danny's ear, knowing just what to do with his tongue to make Danny squirm a little and giggle, even though he'd never admit to doing something so undignified as giggling. "I want you to feel good when we do something, not be in pain because of your ribs."
"Yeah, I know."
"When you think about us doing it...I mean, I know sometimes when somebody's...been through something..."
"What happened to me was like...I felt like I was...being mauled by a pack of wild dogs. I guess since there are no women in a place like that, there's some part of it that's sexual for them, getting off, but there was so much hate in it. They just beat the shit out of me and they were yelling and...sometimes that's almost the worst part of the memories. The noise, the filth, the yelling..."
"I'm sorry, Danno," Steve said, resting his head against Danny's. "I didn't mean to bring this up."
"Sometimes I'm afraid I'm not gonna be able to do it, to be normal."
"It's not like I'm waiting for your ribs to heal so I can pounce on you," Steve said, and Danny actually laughed at that. He was quiet then, just resting there in Steve's arms.
"I'm scared. I don't want to be, but uh..."
"What scares you the most, sweetheart?" Steve asked in a whisper.
"That when something beautiful is going on between us, I'm gonna think about that," he said, his voice breaking.
"You probably will think about it...we'll go slow and we're not gonna do anything we don't both enjoy. Maybe you'll think about it a lot at first, but maybe after time passes and things are good, it'll be easier." Steve kissed Danny's shoulder, letting his lips linger on Danny's skin. "You know...I think about it, too. I don't want to say something or do something that reminds you, or hurts you..."
"I just hope it's okay because it always feels good when you touch me."
"That's all we're gonna do, Danny. Just touch each other. And if it's upsetting or it doesn't feel good, we'll stop or we'll do something else."
"That'll be fun for you to get going and then stop."
"I'd rather be here, like this, with you, than have sex with anybody else. It's not the sex, Danny. It's you."
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Danno. We'll be okay."
“I’m sorry what’s going on between us screwed up your relationship with Joe.”
“If it did, the relationship wasn’t what I thought it was in the first place.”
“He’s been like a second dad to you, and I know you’re upset he’s not really okay with us.”
“I wish he was, but if not, it doesn’t change anything.”
“You can’t let him speak for your dad, Steve. I mean, you and I, even before this, close as we’ve always been, you could still ask each one of us the same question and get two different answers. Just because Joe isn’t comfortable or doesn’t approve of us being together doesn’t mean your dad couldn’t have handled it. Or wouldn’t come around in time.”
“Feels like him disapproving of us, too. He and Joe were a lot alike. I don’t think anybody’s ever gonna say that about us.”
“Heh. No, probably not. Until we’re old and we’ve been together so long that we started looking alike.”
“How would that even be possible?”
“I don’t know. How come some people look like their dogs? It happens.”
“They probably chose a dog that reflected their personality. I’d buy that before I’d believe they shape-shifted to look like a Basset Hound," Steve said, rolling his eyes.
“Look at old couples who have been together a really long time. Some of them look alike.”
“Look at couples who just got married. Some of them look alike, too. If you discount clothing or hairstyles or expressions and mannerisms, it’s a lot less so. Your facial structure doesn’t change.”
“You really know how to suck the fun out of a conversation, don’t you? Geez, let me go find a scientist to back up my theory.”
“I don’t want you to look like me in 40 years. I want you to look like you. Only old and wrinkled and probably fat.”
“Excuse me?” Danny sat up straight, almost forgetting his injured ribs. “What makes you think I’ll be fat?”
“It’s okay if you are. When we’re in our 70's, I don’t care.”
“Your tattoos are gonna melt,” Danny said, as if he’d found the perfect revenge. “And that one that points to your ass? That baby’s gonna be longer than the Space Needle when you’re that age.”
“You think so, huh?”
“I’d bet on it.”
“Let’s.”
“Do what?”
“Bet on it. Right now. Twenty bucks says you’ll be fat and my tattoos will still look good.”
“And I win if I’m not fat and your tattoos look ridiculous?”
“Yup.”
“It’s a bet,” Danny said, shaking hands with Steve, who smiled and pulled him in for a kiss.
“You just committed to staying with me for the next 40 years, because I know you’re never gonna give up on winning that bet.”
“I already did that when I said ‘yes’.”
“Yeah, but this really seals it.”
“I didn’t know we were unsealed.”
“When do you want to do it?” Steve asked.
“What?”
“Get married. Get the license. Do a lot of paperwork.”
“After my last HIV test,” Danny said, and the answer was so quick and sure that it struck Steve he’d given this some thought.
“You know the results don’t change things for me, right? Except to be happy for you, for us, that you’re okay.”
“They matter to me. That way, it’ll be a new beginning, without the past hanging over us.”
“Okay. Think we should turn in?”
“It’s getting late. Gracie will be up early wanting to go for a swim. Like somebody else I know.”
“I could be convinced to stay in bed later.” He kissed Danny’s neck.
“You could but I don’t want Grace out in the water by herself without one of us up and around.”
It was on the tip of Steve’s tongue to argue that Grace was a good swimmer and mature enough to go for a morning swim without supervision, but he gave it up as a losing battle before he started.
“Besides, it’s not like I can do anything to make it worth your while.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I like being with you, Danno.”
“I did get that impression,” Danny said, laughing softly.
“I like sleeping with you,” he said, sucking on Danny’s neck now. “Waking up with you,” he added, slipping his hand under Danny’s tank shirt to rub over his chest. “Getting naked with you.”
“That’s good for you when I can’t do anything?”
“Yeah, your body pressed up against mine is real good, sweetheart,” Steve whispered in his ear, nuzzling his neck.
“That’s pretty good for me, too, babe.” Danny relaxed and enjoyed the closeness and the warmth of Steve’s lips and his breath. Maybe he’d be okay after all.
********
“Your x-rays look great,” Dr. Oh said. “It’s only been four weeks, but the fractures have healed well and you should start very slowly working back up to your usual exercise level.”
“So I’m back on active duty?”
“Ah, selective listening,” Dr. Oh said. “I said ‘very slowly’. I don’t think your partner here is familiar with that concept.”
“Why is this my fault? I’ve been keeping him practically under house arrest since he was hurt to make sure he healed up,” Steve protested. Danny smiled at him took his hand. He was glad Steve was there and even happier that they finally had a little good news to work with.
“I don’t think either one of you are strangers to the gym, so just start back very gradually with some mild stretching and work your way up to more strenuous things over a period of a couple weeks. You’ll notice some soreness and stiffness, but if you feel anything beyond that, stop what you’re doing and come back in and see me. I’m going to make an appointment with a physical therapist for you just so you can get an idea of where to start, but unless you feel the need for ongoing guided therapy, I think you can handle resuming your workouts based on how you feel. Don’t do heavy weights for a couple weeks yet.”
“What about sex?” Danny asked, getting a kick out of the slight tinge of color that brought to Steve’s face, not to mention the expression that made it obvious he wanted to crawl under the exam table and hide. Something about all that embarrassment from Mr. Navy SEAL Badass made Danny laugh.
“I wouldn’t try anything that requires you to fold in half or hang by your feet, but otherwise, you should be fine. If it hurts your side, stop doing it,” the doctor concluded.
“Well, that’s a disappointment,” Danny quipped. “After just having the trapeze installed.” That made Steve laugh and seemed to break his tension a bit. “What about work?”
“You can do desk duty now, if you truly understand the meaning of desk duty. Both of you.”
“I’ve been a cop a while, Doc. I get the distinction.”
“It doesn’t mean going out on a call or riding around with your partner because you don’t think anything’s going to happen. Got it?”
“I got it.”
“Do you understand?” the doctor said, pinning Steve with an intent look.
“Yes, of course. Why do you think I’m going to do something awful to him the minute we go back to work?”
“I’ve been Danny’s doctor for the last five years,” the doctor said, smiling faintly. “Would you like a list of what I’ve diagnosed and treated in that time?”
“Yes, actually, I would, because he doesn’t tell me a whole lot.”
“You complain all the time that I’m always talking.”
“There’s a difference between always talking and telling me stuff I need to know. Like the whole blood pressure thing.”
“Don’t start on that again.”
“It’s serious.”
“It’s under control, will you let it go?”
“Excuse me, gentlemen. The reason for the extra restriction on the job is that a traumatic injury like a blow, bad fall, car crash, etcetera, could re-injure you. The fractures are healed but they’re freshly healed. So use this time to build up your strength and catch up on your paperwork. In a couple weeks, if everything is going well, I’ll clear you for full active duty.”
“Okay. I guess I can live with that,” Danny said. “About the sex...am I okay...there?”
“I didn’t examine you this time, but based on your lack of pain or other adverse symptoms related to those injuries, I’d say you’re healed. Anal sex is a challenge even when there are no obstacles, so go slow and use plenty of lubrication and listen to your body. If you’re in pain, stop. If you have any ongoing concerns or difficulties, I can examine you to see if there’s any physical problem.”
“Is my blood work okay?”
“Yes, everything’s looking good there. Negative on the HIV test. One more to go at three months, and you’ll be free and clear. Your cholesterol is looking good, too, so you can tell your daughter she’s doing a good job policing your diet.”
“I’ll do that,” Danny replied, smiling.
“Steve, I’ve given you a hard time, but I know Danny’s had good care while he’s been recuperating, so the rest is all in fun,” he said, smiling and shaking hands with Steve.
“Thanks, Doc. He’s pretty important to me,” Steve said, smiling at Danny.
“You’re pretty important to me, too, babe,” Danny replied, returning the look.
“Danny, follow doctor’s orders and take care of yourself. I’ll see you in a couple weeks,” the doctor said, shaking hands with Danny.
“Will do. You’re sure you won’t clear me if I promise to stay in the car?”
“No, because I don’t trust either one of you. Have a good day, gentlemen.” With that, he left.
“You would pick a smart ass doctor,” Steve said.
********
Steve noticed Danny was pretty quiet on the ride home from the doctor. He suspected he knew what was on Danny’s mind and was about to say something when his phone rang. It was from an “Unkown Caller.”
“McGarrett,” he said, picking it up to answer it instead of leaving it on speaker, hands-free. That made Danny cast a sideways look at him.
“We need to meet,” the caller said.
“Yeah, I can do that later.”
“Ten o’clock, the usual spot.”
“Great. Good work.” Steve broke the connection and braced himself for the onslaught of questions, already working on a good excuse.
“Who was that?”
“An informant about a case Kono’s been working on. A poaching situation. Not really big enough to be on our radar ordinarily.”
“Oh.” Danny was quiet a minute. “You never mentioned anything about it.”
“Like I said, it’s not a big deal. I have to be on top of what Five-0's doing, even if I’m not in the office every day.”
“Okay.” Danny frowned. “If it’s Kono’s case, why is the informant calling you?”
“It’s like any case that’s not a big deal when you start it. It always turns into something more. This guy is fairly high up the food chain in this poaching operation, and he’ll only talk to the head of Five-0, so I have to meet with him tonight.”
“Shouldn’t you call Kono and update her?”
“I was planning on doing that. We’re almost back to the house, so I figured I’d call her when we got home. What’s with you, anyway? What’s the big deal?”
“You just usually take calls on the speaker.”
“When I saw it was an ‘unknown caller’ I didn’t know who or what it was.”
“So there’s something going on you don’t want me to know about.”
“Danny, that could be anything. With my past...I have to take calls like that privately.”
“You’re lying, Steven. You’re fairly good at it, but you’re lying. What I don’t understand is why.”
“I’m not lying, Danny.”
“Yeah, you are. You won’t look me in the eyes and you’re getting nervous. Not much gets you nervous but lying to me does because you feel guilty about doing it.”
“Fuck, what are you doing? Profiling me?”
“And now you’re getting angry and defensive. Because if we have a fight now, we won’t be talking by the time we get home, which will hopefully get you off the hook until whatever it is you’re meeting that guy at ten tonight to talk about. Yes, tell Mr. Secret Agent Man to keep his voice down next time he calls you. I could hear his half of the conversation. Do you think I’m deaf and stupid?”
“I don’t think you’re either one. I’m working on something I can’t discuss with you, Danny.”
“Really? That’s a fucking great way to start off a marriage.”
“That’s got nothing to do with it. You know there are things I can’t tell you regardless of what our relationship is or becomes.”
“So it’s that important, whatever Mr. Ten O’Clock has to tell you?”
“Frankly, yes. Now please just let it go.”
“You’re investigating your mom’s death, aren’t you? Why don’t you just level with me? I’ve been supportive of whatever you wanted to do about that. I said I’d go with you. I’m healing up, I’ll be fine to travel so why are you back to this shit of shutting me out again?”
“It’s not about my mother. And that’s all I can say.”
“Fine.” Danny fell silent then, his elbow on the edge of the open car window, his forehead resting on his hand, keeping his eyes averted out the window, away from Steve. “I guess a month off work and I’m really not your partner anymore.”
“What the fuck? Danny, come on.”
“You come on! Why are you hiding things from me?”
“Sometimes I have to! You know that.”
“I just wanna know if you’re taking off for some crazy-ass remote part of the world alone so you can get yourself tortured or killed.”
Steve paused, and any anger he felt drained away. Danny was worried, and like he always did when he was worried, he took it out on Steve. Steve never got such a tongue-lashing as he did when he scared Danny by almost getting himself killed, or when he left him in the dark, not knowing what he was doing or when he was coming back.
“I’m not leaving the island for this, okay? I promise. You just have to let me handle it.”
“This meeting tonight. I’m not gonna ask who Deep Throat is,” he said, and Steve had to smile at that. “Is he a friend you can trust or are you gonna disappear without a trace and wind up in a half dozen garbage bags floating in with the surf?”
“Where do you come up with this stuff?” Steve asked, wrinkling his nose at the vivid and grotesque end Danny had envisioned for him.
“Just answer me.”
“No, I won’t be cut up and put in trash bags and thrown in the ocean.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah, Danno, I promise,” he said, softening his tone. He reached over and took Danny’s hand.
“Don’t try to smooth things over. I’m still pissed at you.”
“Okay,” Steve said, retracting his hand, smiling.
“Don’t laugh at me, either,” Danny snapped.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Steve drove in silence a few seconds. “I love you. Is that okay?”
“You better.” Danny finally added, with a bit of a pout, “I love you, too.”
********
They celebrated Danny’s good report from the doctor with a big dinner around the table at Danny’s place. Steve was still spending his nights there, though Danny and Grace had started migrating slowly to Steve’s house with some of their possessions. Since Danny had been restricted, and still was a bit, for how much he could lift and carry, the real move hadn’t taken place yet.
Chin, Kono, Adam, and Kamekona joined them, to celebrate Danny’s return, at least on desk duty. Or, as they were teasing him, for his two-week stint as the task force’s secretary and receptionist. They feasted on lasagna and homemade pizza, salad, and garlic bread, which led the group to tell Danny if this cop gig didn’t work out, he could open his own Italian restaurant.
Steve and Danny hadn’t officially announced the change in their relationship to their friends yet, though Steve suspected most of them had figured it out on their own. Neither he nor Danny had been particularly discrete about touching each other or their living arrangements. Joe hadn’t spread the word to the team, and both Catherine and Melissa had apparently kept it to themselves, so it seemed like a good time to do it before Grace imploded with the news.
"I'd like to propose a toast," Danny said. Everyone had wine in hand, except Grace, who raised her glass of diet soda. He looked at Steve. "To Steve. My partner, my best friend, and before too much longer, my husband. We're getting married."
"Married? Oh, my God, when did this happen?" Kono asked, smiling as all the glasses connected in a toast.
"Pretty soon after I got Danny home," Steve said. "I'm not gonna let him go again," he added, taking Danny's hand.
"Well, congratulations," Adam said. "I highly recommend getting engaged," he said, leaning over toward Kono for a kiss.
"Love is in the air, and some of us don't have dates," Kamekona objected.
"Have you set a date yet?" Chin asked.
"Nothing official, but I think it should be soon," Steve said. "Now that Danny's feeling better, we're going to move into my place. Grace already has her room picked out," he said, winking at Grace, who smiled widely back at him.
"You look pretty happy, Grace," Kono said.
"I am. They belong together," she said, and that drew a few chuckles from their guests.
"I couldn't agree more," Danny said, pulling on the front of Steve's shirt and planting a nice big kiss on his mouth.
********