Archive of Our Own

“Your Highness, you aren’t really planning on handing Suzaku over, right?”

“That was the bargain Zero and I struck. He won the game. He specified that his prize be the Knight of Seven. I can’t very well go back on my word, can I?”

“I don’t see why not. We’re dealing with terrorists!”

“Well, precisely. The identity of Zero, in particular, is valuable information. The Knight of Seven will take this opportunity to find out what he can. We will retrieve him as soon as possible.”

Suzaku doesn’t remember very much of what happened after this exchange between Gino and Prince Schenizel. He’d appreciated Gino’s outrage, at the very least, but he’d known even then that this was not exactly a simple matter of concession. He’d let himself be cuffed and taken away at gunpoint, playing along. Schneizel has allowed this so he can try to confirm if this Zero is an opportunistic copycat or if it’s really Lelouch. After all, nobody should know better than Suzaku.

At some point during the hurried exchange, one of the Black Knights jabbed him with an armful of Refrain. Suzaku recalls very little after that, coming around to find himself on the floor of a large room in what he assumes is the headquarters of the Black Knights. It has two long rectangular sofas and shelves of books and lots of high-tech equipment. He lifts his pounding head, looking around dazedly. The drug is wearing off but it’s still very much in his system, impairing his senses. He shifts, hearing the jingle of the cuffs as he tugs. No good. He exhales, lying down again. There doesn’t to be much to do but wait. He doesn’t know what the hell Zero wants with him. It’s not like he had the sense to ask for the Lancelot as well. Besides, if it truly is Lelouch, his Geass will be no good on Suzaku now. He can’t force him to join the Black Knights. 

…Maybe Zero truly is planning to simply give him to Kaguya as a gift. Not many people know that Kururugi Suzaku and Sumeragi Kaguya are cousins. 

Lelouch does.

“Well, well. Lucky Number Seven.”

Suzaku jolts, the voice taking him by surprise, his senses still scrambled. He turns his head, looking up. Zero is standing over him, tall and terrifying, his long cloak obscuring his body. Suzaku can see himself in the black glass of the visor. 

“You’re the one who got lucky,” he mutters.

“Hardly. Schneizel knowingly played an illegal move. He would have lost either way - purposefully, I’m sure. I saw no reason to let the opportunity to capture you go to waste.”

“You only asked for me and not the Lancelot, idiot,” Suzaku says. “I’m no good to you by myself.”

“I beg to differ.”

Suzaku exhales. “Lelouch, I know it’s you. Give it up already.”

He doesn’t expect anything to come of this - for Zero to ignore him, step over him - but, to his immense surprise, Zero reaches up and takes off the mask. He shakes his glossy hair back into shape as he tucks the mask under his arm, looking down at Suzaku with those big violet eyes he’d know anywhere.

“I know you know,” Lelouch says coolly. “There’s not much point in continuing this charade, is there?”

Suzaku frowns. He hadn’t expected Lelouch to give up his identity so easily. That must mean that he has no intention of letting Suzaku go. …Could his Geass have evolved somehow? Maybe he’s capable of Geassing people more than once now. It’s been over a year, after all. Suzaku knows very little about Geass and how it works. All he knows is to avert his eyes, gazing fixedly at the carpet. 

Lelouch laughs. “Unfortunately, I can’t Geass you again, Suzaku. It would certainly make my life a lot easier if I could.” 

“Why the hell should I believe you?” Suzaku snaps.

“You don’t have to,” Lelouch agrees. “Stare at the carpet if you want.”

“What do you want?” Suzaku groans, closing his eyes. “If you can’t Geass me and you didn’t request my Knightmare, I can’t understand what else you hope to achieve by taking me prisoner.”

“You’re not my prisoner,” Lelouch corrects. “You’re my prize. You were the only thing in that room of any value to me, Suzaku.”

“Lelouch, you know we’re done,” Suzaku says exhaustedly. “Anything we had before is over. I can’t believe you’d bring your personal feelings into this. It’s not very professional.”

“I was hoping we might be able to have a civil conversation,” Lelouch says icily. “Or is that too much to ask?”

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” Suzaku says. 

“Really? Not a single thing? You don’t even want to ask me about–”

“Say her name and I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Oh, really?” Lelouch crouches down next to him. “I find that hard to believe when you’re lying there like a limp rag.”

“One of your asshole subordinates drugged me. …Or was that on your command?”

“I ordered no such thing.” Lelouch reaches down, taking Suzaku’s arm, turning it to inspect it. The puncture has gone right through the sleeve. Still with his hands cuffed behind his back, Suzaku doesn’t have much choice but to let him. “Ugh, I bet it was Tamaki…”    

Suzaku rallies his strength, using Lelouch’s grip on him as leverage to push himself to his knees. Lelouch is quick to withdraw his hand, cautious.

“Are you willing to talk, Suzaku?” he asks guardedly.

“I told you, I have nothing to say to you.” Suzaku retorts. “Nothing you can say will sway me. Either release me or kill me.”

Lelouch raises his eyebrows. “I’ll do as I see fit. You’re not in any position to be making demands.” He reaches inside his cloak, taking out a slim pistol. He clicks the safety off, raising it level with Suzaku’s forehead. “How does it feel to be on the receiving end?”

Suzaku shrugs, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He knows Lelouch won’t shoot him. He tries the cuffs again but there’s no give whatsoever.

“You won’t get out of those,” Lelouch says. He uses the gun to push a lock of Suzaku’s hair away from his eyes. “Don’t give me that defiant look. This is your own fault. You had the opportunity to kill me. Instead you chose to sell me out to climb the ranks. Too bad it put you in a position to be captured.”

“Well, that’s the way of war, isn’t it.” Suzaku retorts. He meets Lelouch’s eyes. “You and I are enemies, Lelouch.”

Lelouch doesn’t react for a long moment. To the untrained eye, it might seem that he has no feelings about this statement one way or another; to Suzaku, who knows him so intimately, it is clear that he’s going through all five stages of grief, compressed into a single second. He says nothing, exhaling deeply, letting the gun fall. He rises, sweeping away, and Suzaku turns his head to watch him cross the chamber. He takes off his cloak, folding it up, placing it and the mask on one of the sofas. He seems to have lost interest in Suzaku now, not paying him much heed. Suzaku is glad, managing to push himself to his feet. He still feels a little dizzy, stumbling a bit before righting himself, and clearly Lelouch doesn’t see him as too much of a threat in this state; he’s still holding the gun but his finger is no longer on the trigger. He’s busying himself with something else, ignoring Suzaku, his back to him. Suzaku takes the opportunity to step through the cuffs, putting his hands in front of him. He can probably get the gun from Lelouch now. 

“I think it’s incredibly foolish of you to not want to talk, at the very least,” Lelouch says suddenly. “I assume that’s the only reason Schneizel handed you over so willingly.”

“He didn’t send me to make any deals with you,” Suzaku retorts.

“Of course he didn’t. He wouldn’t leave that to a knight - even a Knight of Rounds.” Lelouch straightens up. “I must say I’m impressed, Suzaku. To go from a lowly private to the Knight of Seven is… truly remarkable.”

“I suppose that’s thanks to you,” Suzaku says coolly. “This was my reward.”

“I hope it was worth it.”

“You’ve got some nerve acting hurt after everything you’ve done,” Suzaku snaps. “Did you really expect me to let you go after… after you…”

“You should be on my side,” Lelouch says boredly, typing something on his phone. “None of this would have happened if you had just joined me in the first place. After I went to all that trouble to rescue you from Orange, too…”

“So now it’s my fault?” The cuffs jingle as Suzaku’s whole body shakes with his rage. “All the awful shit you’ve done, the people you’ve murdered… Euphy’s death is my fault?!”

“No, not your fault, exactly,” Lelouch says. “I take responsibility for my own actions. I’m simply saying that the outcome would have been different had you not decided to serve Britannia.”

“It’s none of your fucking business who I decide to serve!” Suzaku shouts. “Who the hell do you think you are?!”  

Lelouch doesn’t look up from his phone. “I knew you’d get fired up. This is why we need to talk, Suzaku. I’m the one who should be angry, after all. You betrayed me.”

“It wasn’t exactly a betrayal if I was never on your side to begin with,” Suzaku bites out, moving behind him. 

“Right,” Lelouch sighs. “Because you weren’t my best friend or anything - someone I thought I could trust. It wasn’t as though we were–”

He’s cut off abruptly as Suzaku puts the cuffs over his head and yanks backwards, strangling him with the chain. He writhes and gasps against Suzaku’s body, his fingers clawing at the chain as it chokes the breath from him. Suzaku doesn’t have to exert much effort, feeling him struggle, unmoved. 

He only lets him go when he feels the cold barrel of the pistol being jammed against his jaw. The Geass command kicks in, his sense of self-preservation overriding his desire to kill Lelouch with his own cuffs, and he releases his hold, listening to Lelouch wheeze for breath. The gun is still pressed to his jaw.  

“I-idiot!” Lelouch pants. “You won’t get out… of here alive if you… kill me!”

“I don’t know,” Suzaku replies. “The command you gave me is pretty good at preserving me.” He lets his arms drop lower, pinning Lelouch’s arms to his sides, forcing the gun away from his throat. “See?” he mutters against Lelouch’s ear. “That probably wouldn’t have occurred to me before.”

“Let me go right now!” Lelouch rages, struggling against Suzaku’s grip. “Suzaku!”

“Or what?” Suzaku says boredly. He’s so much bigger and stronger that it takes almost no effort to hold him, feeling him squirm pathetically against him. He has absolutely no hope of breaking the cuffs - although Suzaku knows he’s probably slim enough to slip his hold if he doesn’t keep a grip on him. He crushes him against his chest, putting his mouth close to his ear once more. “Will you yell for one of your lackeys? Kallen? You want her to see you like this?”

Lelouch seems to realize how horribly this has backfired on him, ceasing his thrashing. He stands still, breathing hard, letting the gun drop to the floor. Suzaku kicks it away so he can’t slither free and grab it again.

“Alright,” Lelouch says after a long moment. “Now what?”

Suzaku admittedly hasn’t thought that far ahead so he shrugs once more. Lelouch snorts, leaning his head back against Suzaku’s shoulder.

“I should have known,” he says, his voice low. “You never think anything through, you reckless moron.” He tilts his head, pressing a kiss to Suzaku’s throat.

Suzaku flinches, trying to pull away. “Don’t.”

“Oh, please. You think I can’t feel that thing against my–”

“That’s because you were squirming against me!” Suzaku snaps. It’s true that Lelouch’s struggling has made his pants pretty tight - like he can help it. It’s not his fault if it sounded like… well, all the times they… “Don’t flatter yourself!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

They stand awkwardly for another long moment, the embarrassed silence filling the room. Suzaku closes his eyes, cursing his traitorous body. He’d been hoping Lelouch wouldn’t notice the obvious tent in his pants - but he supposes he is pressed right up against him. Lelouch’s scent, his voice, his sloping slender body… Even now, after everything, no matter how much he despises him, Suzaku can’t help himself. Holding him like this is almost too much. He wants him so bad. 

He hates him. He hates himself. 

“I-I’m going to let you go,” he mumbles. He realizes he doesn’t have any other way out of this. The longer he holds him, the worse it is, the more he desires. 

“Fine,” Lelouch says archly. 

Suzaku loosens his grip, stretching the cuffs as much as they’ll go, to give Lelouch enough room to lower himself and get out. He doesn’t. All he does is turn around so that he’s facing Suzaku, his violet eyes cool, calculating.

“I said I was letting you go!” Suzaku snaps. 

“Right, because you’re in charge here,” Lelouch says. “Remind me who’s in handcuffs again?”

Suzaku glowers at him for a moment before averting his gaze. He still has his grip loose enough that Lelouch is able to get his arms free from his sides, raising them; this is accompanied by another bout of wriggling, which is not helpful to Suzaku’s current condition.

“Will you stop?!” Suzaku hisses.

“You want me,” Lelouch says in a low voice. “Don’t you, Suzaku?”

“I wouldn’t want you if you were the last person on Earth!”

Lelouch rocks himself against him. “Liar.”

“L-look who’s talking,” Suzaku huffs.

“Better a liar than a traitor.”

“Better a traitor than a murderer.”

Lelouch snorts. “Aren’t you both?”

Suzaku looks at him, enraged, smoldering. Lelouch simply smirks.

“Am I wrong? Look at you in your pristine white knight outfit, acting like you’re the good guy. You’re just as bad as me.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

Suzaku kisses him. It’s rough, aggressive, edged with teeth - he’s never kissed him like this before. Lelouch seems very satisfied, opening his mouth, sinking his fingers into Suzaku’s hair. Likely he was riling him to this exact outcome. Suzaku doesn’t care. He breaks the kiss, Lelouch panting hard against his mouth.

“You disgust me,” he growls.

“The feeling is mutual,” Lelouch breathes.

They kiss again, angry, hungry. Suzaku hates what he does to him, that he can’t resist him after everything that’s gone between them. This isn’t the Lelouch he shared a bed with so many times at Ashford Academy - the smart, gentle, lazy boy he’d thought he knew so well. He realizes now that that Lelouch was never real. This is the truth of him, this hideous creature wearing his body in blue and gold, his hands red with blood. Her blood. 

Lelouch pulls back, bending his neck to kiss Suzaku’s throat. This time Suzaku tilts his head, letting him.

“I’ve missed you,” Lelouch whispers, lathing his tongue over his jugular. 

“Too bad,” Suzaku grunts. “I’ve been busy cleaning up your mess.”

Lelouch snorts. “Not that. I get why you’re not at school much these days. I mean I’ve missed you - the real you.”

“What the hell are you talking about. I’m not the one in a mask and cape.”

“Heh. That’s what I’m talking about. This is what you’re really like, Suzaku. That Nice Guy act of yours was getting tiresome.”

Suzaku exhales. “You like me punching you in the face, huh? It’s what you deserve.”

Lelouch pats his cheek. “Too bad you can’t.”

Suzaku says nothing to this. Instead he braces the chain against Lelouch’s lower back, grabbing hold of him under his thighs; he bodily lifts his feet clean off the floor, walking him the few paces to the nearest wall and slamming him against it hard enough to knock the breath from him. 

“S-Suzaku…!” Lelouch coughs in protest. “What–”

“Just shut up.” Suzaku kisses him hard. “Thought you just said… you wanted it rough…”

“That’s not… what I said, half-wit!”

“Well, how would… I know if you’re… telling the truth?”

They snipe at each other between open-mouthed kisses, Suzaku getting a better grip beneath Lelouch’s thighs, lifting him against the wall. Lelouch puts his arms around his neck to anchor himself and Suzaku grinds his bulge into the heat of him, rutting between his open legs, his closeness maddening. He knows they should stop, that he doesn’t have a change of clothes and anyway, the two of them should have a bit more sense, a little more self-respect–

“Fuck me, Suzaku,” Lelouch moans into his mouth. He bites at his bottom lip. “Y-You want to, right?”

“So much,” Suzaku whines. His self-disgust comes second to whatever spell Lelouch has over him. “You’ll… you’ll have to…”

“Mm.” Lelouch kisses him once, twice more. “L-let me down…”

Suzaku lets go of him, moving the chain up. They’re still so close together that he can’t see much of what Lelouch is doing, just feels him fumbling blindly with fastenings. He feels him part his zip as much as he can, reaching in to tug down his boxers, freeing his aching cock. It’s far more rushed and careless than normal, without Lelouch’s usual elegant teasing finesse, but right now Suzaku doesn’t give a damn.

“Hurry up,” he urges.

“Shut up, this isn’t easy,” Lelouch retorts, fussing with his own clothing. “I can’t… you’ll just have to make do–”

“Fine.” Suzaku grabs hold of him again, sinking his fingers into his fine soft thighs, lifting him against the wall with ease. Lelouch’s pants are kind of in the way but he’s able to angle himself to line himself up with his entrance, the chain taut against Lelouch’s backside.

He doesn’t ask if he’s ready, pushing inside. Lelouch shudders, gasping, arching his back. Suzaku crushes him between the wall and his body, taking his weight on the chain as he begins to fuck him as hard as he possibly can. He’d be lying to himself to say he hasn’t missed this. He knows Lelouch’s body almost as well as he knows his own; he knows exactly how to make him writhe, moan, scream his name. The tight oblivion of him is incredible, fitting him exactly - like they were made to be together. They kiss and Lelouch’s hands go into Suzaku’s hair again, tangling in his thick curls.

The last time they had sex was the night before Euphy’s death. He remembers it now as he thrusts into him, how different it was, how gentle: Lelouch lying beneath him, pale as the moon, holding him close. Suzaku had been so in love with him that night. If only he’d known then. How different things might be now, if only he’d known.  

Lelouch breaks the kiss, pressing his face to Suzaku’s neck. “Is that… all you’ve got…?”

“It’d be easier… if I wasn’t cuffed,” Suzaku growls. He knows Lelouch is just trying to piss him off. His body certainly seems to be enjoying it, quivering madly between Suzaku and the wall.

“Heh, nice try.” Lelouch sucks a mark into the underside of Suzaku’s jaw, lifting his mouth long enough to whisper in his ear. “I know you want to hurt me.”  

This throbs straight through Suzaku and into his cock like nothing else on this earth. He grips Lelouch tighter, his nails scraping over his pale thighs. “I’d kill you if I could.”

Lelouch grins against him, groaning as Suzaku fucks him into the wall. They kiss again and again, fleeting, never enough. Suzaku loves him so much. He despises him more than anything. Why you. He buries his face against the violet and gold, the twisted knot of his cravat, his ridiculous costume created to commit atrocities. Why did it have to be you.  

“Join me, Suzaku,” Lelouch gasps, cradling his head. “I-I need you…!”

“I’ll never join you,” Suzaku retorts - but he wishes he didn’t have to. He wishes he could say yes to him, that things were easier, painless. He wishes this wasn’t all they had left.

Lelouch closes his eyes, nodding. He understands this, at least. Suzaku kisses him once more, buckling his hips, coming deep inside him. Lelouch clings to him, grasping handfuls of his clean white jacket and twisting. Suzaku keeps pumping into him, slow and deep, until he releases, too. He gives a quiet tremor in his arms and Suzaku feels the sudden wetness on his belly, seeping through his jacket. He knows he should be disgusted but he isn’t. They break for breath, panting hard, pressing their foreheads together. Lelouch reaches up and strokes his thumb over Suzaku’s cheek and Suzaku lets him, slowly tumbling from their tangled high. Lelouch looks so achingly beautiful, just as he remembers him that final night, and he doesn’t hate him. He can’t.

“I know I ruined everything,” Lelouch says softly. He brushes Suzaku’s damp curls away from his eyes. “Suzaku, I–”

Suzaku kisses him. He can’t bear to hear him apologize. Lelouch kisses back, his shoulders sagging, almost like he’s relieved. They stay that way for a long time.

Then the door slides open. Lelouch jolts in his arms, pulling his mouth away. Suzaku turns his head to see the girl with green hair entering the room. Lelouch gives a strangled whine of protest.

“C.C., don’t just… barge in uninvited!”

“I was under the impression we were sharing these quarters.” C.C. closes the door, looking at their entanglement in utter disinterest. “Why am I not surprised. I knew you couldn’t control yourself around Kururugi.”

“Sh-shut up!” Lelouch squirms against Suzaku, trying to push him away. Suzaku doesn’t react.

C.C. tilts her head, watching them for a moment. Her only observation is, “That chain is going to leave a big welt on your ass, Lelouch,” before she walks away, heading to the sofa and flopping down. She picks up a magazine and opens it, not paying them any further heed.

The moment, however, has passed, freezing over once more. Suzaku roughly pulls out of his body and lowers him, letting him go, and this time Lelouch ducks under the chain as Suzaku lifts it. He’s a bit shaky, leaning against the wall as he tugs his pants back up, righting himself. He doesn’t say anything, nor does he meet Suzaku’s gaze. Suzaku stands patiently, still cuffed, still unzipped, watching Lelouch tug everything straight, trying to pull himself back together. 

“Hey,” he says after a moment. “Can you at least zip me up?”

Lelouch looks at him like he’s asked him for the moon, pausing in smoothing his hair down. “F-fine.” He reaches down, pulling Suzaku’s underwear and pants back up, yanking up the zip, fastening the button. His hands are trembling a bit. He doesn’t meet Suzaku’s eyes at all. “...Wait there.”

He walks away - very slowly, a little wobbly, Suzaku observes with some satisfaction. Let’s see you address your Black Knights in that state. It’s only a little satisfaction, however. He glances at C.C., who is lying on her stomach, flipping through the magazine in disinterest. She interrupted at a crucial moment. Now Lelouch is too humiliated to even look at him. He won’t get anything of any use from him now. His identity is a moot point. Schneizel already knows.

Lelouch is on the phone, commanding one of his subordinates in a low voice. “I need Kururugi secured. I’m finished questioning him. …I don’t care where you put him, just come and take him!”

Suzaku huffs. Well, he supposes he didn’t expect to stay in here with Lelouch, anyway. He watches Lelouch angrily toss the phone onto the couch near C.C., who looks up.

“Probably for the best,” she agrees. “You two clearly have no self-control around one another. I knew you didn’t really want to give him to Kaguya.”

“Shut up!” Lelouch snaps. “You had no business just coming in uninvited! I told you I was having Suzaku brought here!”

“I assumed you were, ah, questioning him,” C.C. replies, turning the page. “I didn’t think you’d immediately drop your panties for him.”

“Don’t be so disgusting,” Lelouch bites out.

“I’m still here,” Suzaku says tiredly.

“I can see that.” Lelouch snatches some tissues from a box on the coffee table and comes back to him, scrubbing the wet patch on his stomach. “There. Lucky your uniform is white.”

“Now who’s being disgusting,” C.C. says boredly, rolling over. “I forgot how gross teenaged boys are…”

“You’re the one who walked in on us!”

“Forgive me for thinking you had a shred of shame.”

Lelouch is pale with anger. He scrunches up the tissues, throwing them in the trash, then seizes his cape and mask from the sofa. He puts them back on and storms out without another word.

Suzaku suddenly feels weak, still feeling the after-effects of the Refrain and, well, pounding Lelouch into the wall. He crosses to the sofa and sits on the edge to wait. Who knows what the hell Lelouch will do with him now. He knows he doesn’t take kindly to being embarrassed. 

“I knew him taking you as a prize was a bad idea,” C.C. says. “Nothing gets him worked up the way you do. I tried to tell him but he wouldn’t listen. He made up some nonsense about giving you to your cousin as a present. He really thinks we’re stupid.”

“I guess I’m just as bad,” Suzaku says absently. “I shouldn’t want to touch him with a ten-foot pole after… but I couldn’t help it. …That’s disgusting, huh?” He sighs miserably, looking at the floor. “I’m such a disgrace.”

C.C. yawns. “I know he’s hurt you,” she says, “but believe me when I say love is not so easy to cast aside.”

Suzaku does not see Lelouch again. He gets moved at gunpoint to a little cell somewhere in the dark depths of the Black Knights headquarters, where he’s largely left to his own devices. He doesn't know how long he’s down there but it doesn’t feel like more than a day or two before some faceless lackey of Lelouch’s comes to tell him he’s being traded back to Britannia in exchange for something more useful.

As long as it’s not the Lancelot - but Suzaku doesn’t know the details of the trade. He’s not surprised Lelouch isn’t going to keep him here, especially not after… well, that. They stick him with a little more Refrain to keep him subdued, not that he was planning to fuss much, and give him back his cloak and sword. Schneizel is waiting to receive him at the agreed trade point. Lelouch is not present. 

“Where’s Zero?” Suzaku asks, looking around. “I thought he’d want to oversee this personally.”

“I seem to be under the impression he wants to be rid of you as soon as possible,” Schneizel says good-naturedly. “I assume you weren’t much use to him.”

“...I didn’t see much of him.”

“I see. Well, you can come and give me your report now and then head back to Area 11 whenever you’re ready.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” Suzaku takes one last look back as he follows Schneizel. There are six Black Knights present, all with guns. Kallen is among them, staring him down icily. 

He wonders where Lelouch is. 

“Please, take a seat.” Schneizel sits down, gesturing to the chair opposite. “Tell me anything that you learned while amidst our enemy.”

“I didn’t see much,” Suzaku says. He sinks into the chair. The Refrain still has his head swimming a little. “I was in a cell for most of it.”

“Yes, that doesn’t surprise me.” Schneizel leans forward. “Were you able to speak with Zero? He requested you as a prize very deliberately.”

Suzaku takes a deep breath. “Yes, I was able to talk to him.”

“And your conclusion?”

“It’s definitely Lelouch,” Suzaku says. “I can say that with absolute certainty.”

Schneizel nods. “As we suspected. Do you mind me asking how you know?”

“I…” Suzaku hesitates. Of course he can’t admit the truth. Schneizel is gazing at him very intently so he has to say something. “...He took his mask off when we talked.”

“Interesting. Why would he do that, Kururugi?”

“He knew I knew it was him.”

“I assume he thought his identity would be safe with you.”

“Not necessarily,” Suzaku says. “He knows we’re enemies.”

“Well, naturally. Do you mind showing me your arm?”

“...My arm?”

“Yes. Roll up your sleeve.”

Suzaku peels off his glove and rolls his sleeve. The sore punctures from the Refrain gun are still visible. “They drugged me twice,” he admits.

“Yes, I thought they might.” Schneizel looks a little irritated. “Well, Kururugi, the thing is that I believe you but… I can’t exactly take your word as the truth. Refrain is a very powerful drug.”

Suzaku looks down at the raw bruising to his arm, his heart sinking. Is… is it possible that… surely he couldn’t have imagined it? Not the whole thing, Lelouch’s warmth and smell and taste, surely not… Refrain is powerful, yes, but…

“With all due respect, Your Highness, I know what I saw,” Suzaku says. “Zero is Lelouch.”

“Yes, I expect he is,” Schneizel agrees. “The way he played chess was unmistakable. Besides, I know you and my errant half-brother were very close. I trust you to know him when you see him, even under that mask. But still, with those marks on your arm, I can’t accept your testimony.”

Suzaku sighs, nodding. He rolls down his sleeve. “I understand, Your Highness.”

“My apologies, Knight of Seven,” Schneizel says. “I do hope your venture wasn’t a total waste of time, at least.”

Suzaku rises, bowing. “Not entirely. I’ll take my leave now, Your Highness.”

“Yes, return to Ashford Academy and monitor the situation there.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Gino is waiting for him outside. Suzaku isn’t really in the mood for him but he doesn’t protest as the taller boy throws a boisterous arm around his shoulders.

“Suzaku! I was so worried about you! How did you escape?”

“I didn’t,” Suzaku says. “They realized I wasn’t a very good prize and traded me back. I don’t know what for.”

Gino lets him go, falling into step alongside him as they walk down the corridor. “What a weird request, anyway,” he says. “To ask for you so specifically…”

“Suzaku Kururugi has had many altercations with Zero,” Anya says from behind them.

Suzaku jolts. He didn’t even hear her. He and Gino look over their shoulders to see her trailing after them, typing on her phone. 

“Yeah?” Gino prompts. “I mean I know he caught him last year but…”

“That was only one of many incidents,” Anya says without emotion. “Suzaku Kururugi and Zero have a long history of crossing paths.”

“Huh.” Gino raises his eyebrows at Suzaku. “Maybe he was planning to torture you or something. You know, to get revenge. If it’s even the same guy, anyway.”

“It’s the same guy,” Suzaku says. 

“You confirmed it?” Gino asks.

“...Sort of. I just know.” Suzaku looks at Anya. As usual, he gets an uneasy feeling around her - like she knows more than she should, than she possibly ever could. She glances up at him over her phone, holding his gaze until he grows unsettled.

“A-anyway, I’m heading back to Area 11 tonight,” he says, turning away. “I’m going to go shower and change.” God knows he needs it…

“Good idea,” Gino says. “Pack your bags, Anya. We’re going back to Ashford Academy.”

“I don’t think we all need to go,” Suzaku replies. “You two are just undercover.”

“Yeah, but it’s been pretty boring around here,” Gino says, yawning. “Not much happened aside from you getting taken hostage.” He laughs. “I was almost jealous of you! Getting taken captive by the Black Knights, I mean. At least you got a change of scenery.”

“It wasn’t that interesting,” Suzaku says stiffly. 

Gino shrugs. “Beats hanging around here with nothing to do.” He claps Suzaku roughly on the back. “See you in a bit. We can all head back together. Let’s go, Anya.”

Anya looks at Suzaku again, staring him down, as she passes him. He feels a bit defensive, pulling his cloak around himself, waiting until she and Gino are gone before heading to his own quarters to change. He showers, scrubbing away the last of Lelouch left on him; letting his fingers linger on his cock a little before snapping himself out of it, turning the shower all the way down to cold, putting an end to it. Lelouch isn’t going to get inside his head again. Not now. Especially now.

He puts his school uniform on and sits on the edge of the bed, picking up his phone. He scrolls through it until he finds the number for the Student Council Room, hitting Dial as he puts it to his ear.

“Ashford Academy Student Council!” Shirley says chirpily.

“Hey, Shirley.”

“Suzaku! We haven’t heard from you in so long! How are you?”

“I’m good. Gino, Anya and I are heading back to school tonight.”

“Oh, wonderful! Prez will be glad to hear that!”

Suzaku pauses. “...Is Lelouch there?”

“Lulu?” Shirley huffs. “I haven’t seen him today. He’s avoiding me again!”

“Cutting class again, huh?” Suzaku looks absently towards the window.

“He’s going to fail if he doesn’t get his act together,” Shirley says. “I think he just wants to stay a student forever. He’s so lazy.” She sighs. “Well, when I see him, I’ll tell him you’re coming back. He’ll be happy to hear that, at least.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Shirley. …Tell him I’m looking forward to seeing him.”

“Will do! See you soon!”

Suzaku hangs up and flops across the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes. He doesn’t know how Lelouch will react to seeing him back at school. If he’s even back at school. There’s the decoy - very obviously a decoy, there’s no way Lelouch can suddenly jump like that - but Suzaku can tell them apart. He’s pretty sure Lelouch knows this, even if it fools everybody else. They know each other too well. They’ve let each other see too much.

…What is there to even say? Lelouch played a risky move, allowing Suzaku to confirm that he’s Zero, that he has his memories back. He must have known Suzaku would not be in a position to make use of the information. Suzaku rolls up his gakuran sleeve, looking at the punctures from the Refrain. He knows it’s a powerful drug. Maybe… maybe he did hallucinate it. Would Lelouch really have been that stupid…?

Suzaku rolls onto his side, picking up his phone again. He scrolls through his contacts until he finds Lelouch’s name. His thumb hovers over the Call button. …Would he even pick up? What would Suzaku even say to him? Did we really fuck against the wall of your secret terrorist headquarters or was that just the powerful hallucinogenic talking?   

He’s about to snap the phone shut again when it starts ringing in his hand. Lelouch. Suzaku stares at it for a long moment, his heart thudding; he debates letting it ring off, letting him stew until he gets back to school… but then, at the last second, he jabs the Answer button.

“Hey,” he says stiffly.

“I just came into the Student Council Room and Shirley said to call you,” Lelouch says. “What’s up?”

Suzaku is quiet for a moment. He can hear Shirley protesting in the background (“Lulu, I did not say that!”) and grips the phone tighter. Shrewd fucker. He’s called him in front of Shirley so he can’t ask him anything outright. Probably on speakerphone, too. 

“I’m coming back to school tonight,” Suzaku says, injecting a little warmth into his voice. “Just wanted to let you know. It’s been a while, huh?”

“It has. It’s so quiet without you here.” Lelouch laughs. “Everybody misses you.” He pauses, then lowers his voice. “I’ve missed you.”

Suzaku takes in a breath, closing his eyes. He remembers how he whispered it in his ear.

“I… I’ve missed you, too,” he says quietly. 

“Suzaku said he’s looking forward to seeing you,” Shirley calls cheerily.

“Oh, I bet he is,” Lelouch says. “Well, Suzaku, see you tomorrow, hm?”

“Yeah. See you.” Suzaku hangs up, tossing the phone away. Well, that explains why Zero didn’t oversee the trade…

Lelouch is toying with him. He knows that, knows that the game is a dangerous one, that Lelouch is better-versed at the rules. Still. He has his weaknesses and Suzaku knows exactly what they are. He looks across the room at his Knight of Seven uniform: his prize, pure as snow.

Lelouch can gamble on gambits as he likes. White always makes the first move.