Work Text:
one day perl and amtist went walking in a woods.
"perl im hungry" amtist said
"no ur not" perl replied
"hungry for birb" amtist nudged and winked
"wut" perl raised an eyebrow
and then amtist and perl had sex
the end
* * *
Pearl looked at the scrawl with what could only be described as confusion. "Amethyst, what am I looking at?"
"Iunno." Amethyst shrugged. "I didn't write that."
"It's in your handwriting."
Amethyst twitched. "I-it was Steven. We have similar handwriting."
Pearl shot Amethyst a glance. "Steven probably doesn't know what intercourse is, Amethyst."
"Uh..." Amethyst had a sudden desire to turn into a squirrel and scurry away.
"Regardless of... that... aspect, what is a 'birb'? And why would the two of us be simply walking in the woods, unless we were on a mission or something..."
"I-I meant to write bird. My pen slipped." Amethyst blurted out.
"Wha-?" Pearl turned sharply towards Amethyst, a light blue flushing across her face. "I am not a bird!"
"You could be." Amethyst replied, shapeshifting into a bird to prove her point.
"Still, that doesn't explain why this document exists." Pearl turned back to the crumpled paper. "No wonder it was hidden under that bowling ball in your room..."
"You were in my room again?" Amethyst raised an eyebrow. Considering how much Pearl intruded her room, she no longer found it that irritating.
"Well, if you stopped making such a mess and taking my swords-" Pearl stopped herself. "Look, I, uh... appreciate... your attempts but I don't think-"
The two of them felt a slight chill in their spines as Garnet walked past. Garnet had a sly smirk on her face. "Come on, love birds, we have a mission."
"I am not a bird!" Pearl shouted, as Amethyst collapsed from overwhelming laughter.