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It was dark and cold. But I could feel his warmth. And the heat that radiates from the joint in front of me. We sat there, on the roof of the building. Watching the stars and clouds moving slowly. The moon was the only thing that gave us light besides the end of the cigarette. It smelt grassy. What isn't weird because that is what we are smoking, weed.
Maybe I should have put a pair of jeans on. My legs were exposed to the world, to the sky and to the wind. My skirt wasn't long enough, just covered me till mid-thigh. I didn't even have a jacket to put on my legs because I just wore a t-shirt that exposed my arms and stomach. He told me he loves my stomach, so I decided to love it too.
"Hey, you want the last blow?", his voice was raspy and deep, more than normal. I nodded and took the small thing between my fingers and pulled with my lips on them. The air flew in my lungs. I could feel it burn a little bit. The symptoms of smoking weed weren't staying away. I was light-headed, felt like flying. But whenever I am with him I felt like flying.
"You know, sometimes I want to do it", I said as I put out the cigarette. He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "So I will be gone. Forever, wouldn't that be great? I wouldn't feel anything anymore", I said. I lay down on my back to watch the dark blue sky better. Sal lay back too. "I just can't anymore, you know. It's just so much. My mind, my head, myself is too much to handle", I mumbled and sighed.
"I know how you feel. Sometimes I just want to jump out of my window. Everything is too much. You just don't want to fight anymore", Sal said. I could feel his eye on me. I rotated my head to see him laying on his side, watching me as I breathed. He didn't wear his mask. He didn't want to. He felt comfortable with me. And smoking with the mask on is pretty hard.
"What if-", I didn't continue, my thought was a bit terrifying. "What if?", Sal asked and looked at me intensely. I turned on my side to look at his face. "What if we do it together", I said hesitantly. As I spoke the sentence Sal looked at me. He didn't say anything. Maybe that was too much.
"Yes", he just said and stood up. "Hey Sal, no", I said as I stood up too. He took my hand. "We could jump off the building. Die together. What do you think?", he said. I grabbed his hand harder. "Don't make me say yes, we are fucking high Sal", I said. He giggled. "Maybe we survive, maybe not. Maybe we survive and will be disabled forever. But we will be bonded forever. And that is what I want. To be with you forever", Sal said.
Some tears formed in my eyes. He is being too sweet. Saying romantic things between the lines although he is talking about ending our lives now and here. "Sal, I-", I couldn't talk. My under lip trembled as I tried to keep the tears in my eyes. Sal's hand lay down on my cheek. His hand is warm, but I could feel the cold feeling of the many rings on his fingers.
"It's okay, you don't have to do it.", he said. "I love you", I said and looked at him while a tear escaped my eye. With his thumb, he wiped the tear away and smiled. "I love you too", he said and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and gave him a tight hug.
We stood there. The wind was blowing underneath my skirt, I could feel it flying high, exposing everything about me. But I couldn't care less. He grabbed my hand.
"I love you, Sal"
"I love you too, Y/n"
"Let's do it"
And then, we did it. We took a step and fall down the building. I looked at his face while we fall. He looked beautiful. I smiled as I realised everything will come to an end. And it was nice while it lasted. It was nice to be with him, to be with my friends, to finally live again. But now, it's over. For the better. Sal smiled at me too. I closed my eyes, just to open them again. The last thing I want to see is Sal. My love. Sal.
I could feel myself hitting the ground, and then everything went black.
I love you, Sal.
I love you too, Y/n.