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feel better

Summary:

Han Jisung always felt pulled towards his other member Lee Minho, but he couldn't understand why. He struggled to get closer to him despite their busy lifestyle and his crippling social anxiety. And he made great progress until a picture changed the way he would view Minho forever. And he realized how much they really had in common.

Notes:

I started this story when I was in a dark place and needed an outlet to make myself feel better. I turned to stray kids like always and opened a google doc that I literally called skz feel better. And in frantically writing this story (which I never thought I would publish) I really did start to feel better. I saw a lot of my own struggles play out through Han and Lee Know and it made me feel less alone. I hope it does the same for you.

I tried to make it pretty realistic, but I definitely still have a lot to learn about stray kids. This is also my first real story, so please be kind. Thanks in advance and please enjoy :)

Chapter 1: a rainy day

Chapter Text

The rain was coming down hard and fast but the cats and their owner were inside, warm and dry and cuddled up for a midday nap. Sprawled out, tucked in and peeking out of the covers as they dozed. Small sighs and tiny purrs a quiet symphony on this downpouring day.

These were the days that Minho loved best. He loved the quiet moments spent just in the presence of Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. Just calmly being in that space with the three of them refreshed him. That’s why he traveled home so often, or at least as often as he could manage. He wished he could have the best of both worlds. Merge this peaceful dreamworld with his starry life in Seoul. 

It was definitely not an option though. Not because the members didn’t like cats, or even Hyunjin’s allergies (although that was a good enough reason). Even he listened when Minho wanted to talk about his little brothers and how they found each other. The members smiled when he showed them the pictures and told them the funny stories time and again. 

The dorm and the busy life they all lead meant he just didn’t have the time and stability required for the cats. And Minho was mature enough to accept this. His mother was also at this point so deeply attached to the three cats and just as devoted to them as Minho was. She didn’t bat an eye when he had first brought little Soonie home 6 years ago. Just calmly smiled and accepted the little orange kitty right away without a word. She deserved to have her time as well. And that meant their life was here, not in the busy streets of Seoul.

So this arrangement continued. His mother sent him updates and pictures almost daily. It was also a great way to keep in contact with her since she too might be a reason he enjoyed going back home as often as he could, even though she was often busy with work. Since he had been a bit of an awkward kid, his mother had always been his biggest supporter and they would talk about anything.

He loved waking up to those daily texts, although he might never outright admit it. At least once a month he tried to take the train back to visit, even just a quick one to get this fix. Those three cats and his favorite person in the world. Just these precious moments spent at home, eating and sleeping and so completely different from his life in Seoul. 

He roused a bit, not wanting to spend the whole day in bed. His mother was out working again like always. He liked to be busy so he thought he might clean up a bit. Maybe even cook dinner since he was feeling especially well rested today. He might even take a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up the stuff required to make pasta with cream sauce, which just so happened to be his mother’s favorite dish. And the cats too whenever they could sneak a quick lick of the cream sauce.

As he was putting on his coat and shoes he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and when he saw the sender, he smirked. Hannie tries his best not to blow up his phone when he is away but sending one giant message was just as bad, and this text was at least a couple paragraphs worth of text. Minho sat on the stoop of the entranceway to take a second to read the text in its entirety. Just like his mom, Hannie would send him updates about all the events he was missing out on in the 48 hours away. 

Hannie: brooooo! you really missed out big this time…channie hyung finally fell asleep before 4am last night so Changbin and i finally got to do the plan..the one where we rename all his folder on his computers after animals hehe..but I guess walrus hit a nerve cuz changbin got pissed and tried to slap me but got channie hyung instead so the whole thing was ruined :( i dont think hyung noticed yet so theres that at least. Cant wait till he does but  we barely got through the good ones…we didnt even get to cats. Speaking of cats how are soonie doongie and dori. You havent even sent a pic or anything which is weird. Its like you died lol…. You are taking the train back early tomorrow mornin right? Let me know when you are back cuz i saved something for ya. 

 

Minho: *cat picture*

Minho: *cat picture*

Minho: *cat picture*

 

Hannie: :)

 

Minho scoffed as he dropped his phone back into his pocket. He ducked his head under the hood hiding a slight smile and stepped out into the rainy afternoon air to head to the market.