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“How long have you two known each other?” asks their target’s wife, a younger woman with a sparkling smile and too long of nails. Ranboo was sure if she sharpened them enough, she could slit their throats without a second thought. She’s cradling a glass of wine precariously, the drink tipping ever now and then and threatening to stain the expensive carpet Phil shoveled money out to really make this fake house look suburban.
Tommy’s hand intertwines into his, a rush of warmth darting up Ranboo’s arm as his partner responds with practiced ease. “Five years. We met back when I was attending university.”
They met on Ranboo’s first day when Tommy didn’t hesitate to knock Ranboo on his ass during hand to hand combat. It was love at first sight, really.
Of course, they couldn’t say that to them. As far as this couple was aware, Ranboo and Tommy were their brand-new neighbors that have only just moved into this lovely little suburb outside of Esempi, safe from the chaos and crime.
Tommy was a veterinarian who fell in love with Ranboo during their time at university, where Ranboo was studying journalism. Ranboo adored his love for animals, Tommy was intrigued with Ranboo’s writing. The rest was history, they were married after a year of dating, blah, blah, blah.
Ranboo didn’t mind acting for this little mission Phil sent them on, as it was a good excuse to bring in the horrid acting exercises Wilbur forced on them. He could push himself through the awful backstory that Phil created for the two of them, could put on a smile for the target and his guests as they introduced themselves to the neighborhood. It was the fact that Tommy was his pretend husband that was beginning to become a giant problem.
Tommy was a perfect husband, in every sense of the word. Ranboo knew he would be too, which was why this was the worst thing that could be happening to him at that moment. It allowed Ranboo to indulge in a fantasy he could never have, but at the same time, he was being tormented with the fact that all of this was just pretend.
The target’s wife coos at them. “The two of you are so lovely! I can just see the love in your eyes.” She kisses her husband’s cheek, leaving behind a bright pink lipstick mark. “Don’t you think they are lovely?”
The target, for the most part, doesn’t seem to be catching on to the fact that everything is pretend. Ranboo was grateful for that, at least. “Lovely, honey. Where did you guys say you moved from?”
“Snowchester area,” Ranboo answers. “Nick’s family is from Esempi though, so we decided to move a little closer to them.” It’s rather strange to call Tommy by some random name, the agreed fake name for the mission, but he hopes it wasn’t obvious to the target. “His mother hated commuting to Snowchester.”
“Can’t say I blame her!” Tommy laughs playful shoving Ranboo’s arm. “Just driving here with the moving van was awful. Luckily, we didn’t have to move too many things from our apartment back in Snowchester. The biggest issue we had was our cats loathing the ride here.”
The target smiles at the mention of cats, which helps ease Ranboo’s nerves. Another thing he was informed about background information on the target: animal lover. “Poor things. I know our dogs were not fans of moving here either a few years back. What are their names?”
The entire thing is so domestic. Ranboo hasn’t been in a situation like this since he was back in L’Manberg, pulling small jobs to get by.
There was a crew way back when that he was part of, pushing him through his teenage years when his parents decided he wasn’t worth the trouble anymore. There were jobs then where he had to pretend to be a troublesome son or even the prodigy of two wealthy parents.
He wasn’t prepared for how normal being domestic with Tommy would feel, nor was he prepared for how much he wished this could all be true. He loved being a part of the Syndicate, they were the greatest family he could have asked for, but there was something about a pretend married life with Tommy that just seemed so nice.
There was a chance Tommy didn’t feel that way, however. He knew that was possible, and maybe it was that thought that kept him from playing the role perfectly. The fact that none of this was going to be permanent, that once they take the guy out later that night all of this would be over.
So maybe he was milking it as much as he could. Tommy could think it was an act, would most likely praise Ranboo for doing such a great job at affections. Only Ranboo would know the truth. Maybe it was for the best, in the end.
“You okay?” Tommy asks him with an elbow to the ribs, a soft jab that stirs Ranboo from his worries. Their target seems to have moved to the other room with his wife, leaving the two of them alone in the living room.
Ranboo nods. “I’m good. Just want to get this over with, to be honest.”
“I don’t blame you,” Tommy agrees, taking a drink of his beer. “His wife was so god damn friendly. I lost count of how many times she touched my arm whenever she spoke to me. I’m going to feel really bad for her when we put a bullet in her husband’s head.”
“I won’t,” Ranboo rolls his eyes. “The man has been screwing us over for months now. Nearly killed Tubbo a few weeks back with his explosives rigging our warehouse near the pier. I could care less what happens to the guy.” He frowns as he picks up his now empty Pepsi can. “Need a refill.”
Tommy puts a hand on his arm as Ranboo moves to get up, pulling him back down onto the couch. “I can go grab one for you.” He leans forward, pressing a quick kiss to Ranboo’s lips. “They are watching, play nice, okay?”
God, what Ranboo would give for a genuine kiss from Tommy. The gentle touches outside of an act, to be able to kiss him whenever he so pleases? There was nothing he desired more than to have all of this to be real.
As Tommy departs to the kitchen, the target’s wife ( damn it, Ranboo, what did she say her name was?) comes back into the living room, a friendly smile embracing her face once more. “So, James, how did you propose to Nick?”
Ranboo’s heart clenches. “Possibly the corniest way I could have, honestly. Fancy restaurant, string quartet in the background? Nick has a thing for making everything as dramatic as possible, so I made sure he received a dramatic proposal.” He looks into the kitchen where Tommy holds up a cold Pepsi from the cooler, giving Ranboo a thumbs up. “I love him.”
He doesn’t mean to include the last part, the words simply spilling from his lips involuntarily, but he doesn’t feel bad about it. Saying them out loud, even if it was just for this woman to hear, felt right.
He loved Tommy. There was nothing else to say about it.
There is a hand on his bicep, and he turns back to see the woman with her eyes sparkling. “If you truly love him, I would suggest dropping this mission the two of you are pulling.” Her grip tightens, and Ranboo feels his stomach drop. His face doesn’t show it, forming into an expression of confusion.
“I’m not sure what you are talking about,” he insists, putting on the part of confused and worried man.
The woman doesn’t buy it for a second. “I’m not stupid. I know my husband has been on the Syndicate hit list for a while now. So, unless you want to see a bullet hole in your husband’s head, I strongly suggest the two of you walk out of here and forget we ever had this discussion.”
Ranboo turns towards the kitchen, where he can see Tommy walking back towards him. There is still a blissfully unaware smile on his face as he approaches, handing Ranboo the Pepsi before surveying the woman’s hand on his bicep. “Something wrong?”
Ranboo doesn’t give him an answer. Instead, he watches as the woman comes up with some ridiculous excuse, all the while he pulls his pocket knife from his side and stabs it into her arm, making her scream in pain and release her grip on Ranboo’s bicep.
“What the fuck, man!” Tommy shouts, looking at Ranboo with a scowl. “What is wrong with you?”
Ranboo pulls the knife from the woman’s arm just as a group of men piles into the room, all of them with their guns aimed directly at them.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Ranboo throws the knife with expert accuracy into the leader’s head, grabbing Tommy to duck behind the couch as bullets begin piercing the air.
“She knew,” Ranboo explains, reaching for the pistol tucked into his waistband and loading it. “She was threatening to kill you, I snapped. Sorry.” He turns back towards the gunfire, knocking another man back with a well-placed shot between the eyes.
Tommy smiles softly at Ranboo, loading his own weapon. “Thanks for having my back, then.” He turns to shoot, knocking back two more guys before hiding back in cover. “Shame she caught on. I was having fun.”
Ranboo nearly misses his shot. Did he hear that correctly?
A bullet whips past Ranboo’s ear, startling him. Tommy doesn’t waste a moment taking the guy down, leaving only the woman on the couch still clutching her arm. Her husband lies dead on the ground amongst the various other men, and Ranboo can’t help but grin at seeing their target eliminated.
“You Syndicate fucks!” the woman screams at them, pulling her own pistol out from the waistband of her jeans. “You are not getting away with that!” She aims at Ranboo, a perfect shot to the head, but falls backward as Tommy sinks a bullet into her shoulder.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Tommy threatens, stepping forward with his own pocket knife now unsheathed. He straddles the woman’s body, ignoring her squirms as he presses the blade against her throat. “I thought we were getting along Cindy, but I guess I was wrong.”
Ranboo can’t help but feel proud as Tommy slits her throat, stepping back with a smile as she gurgles on her own blood. Good riddance.
“ Cindy,” Ranboo says out loud, Tommy turning to him with a raised eyebrow. “I couldn’t remember what her fucking name was.”
The two of them burst out laughing then, a nice relief from the firefight they just endured.
Tommy leans against Ranboo’s side as he laughs, wrapping an arm around his waist. Ranboo returns the embrace with an arm around Tommy’s shoulders, pulling the man in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead.
“I meant what I said,” Tommy says once they calm down, the two of them heading out towards the awaiting car out front. “I had fun pretending to be your husband, while it lasted.”
Ranboo’s heart flips as he climbs into the driver’s seat, starting up the engine. “Well, I enjoyed being your husband. You are going to make someone very happy someday, Simons.” He ignores the urge to say he could be that someone, because honestly? He’s had enough of being cute and happy for the day.
Luckily, he doesn’t have to say it. Tommy reaches forward and intertwines their hands at the center console, stopping Ranboo from taking off. They should leave soon, the police most likely going to arrive in the next few minutes, but Ranboo can’t focus with their hands together like this.
“You already do,” Tommy tells him, blush dusting his cheeks. He removes his hand from Ranboo’s in embarrassment, looking at the road ahead of them. “We should, um, probably get out of here before EPD shows up.”
He’s not wrong. However, the more Ranboo thinks about it, the car could easily speed out of there without a trace, even if the EPD comes around the corner just as they take off. He has just enough time to reach for Tommy in the passenger seat and kiss him for real.
So, he does.
Tommy squeaks in surprise, but he returns the kiss with as much vigor as Ranboo. Tommy tastes like the god-awful beer he had been drinking earlier, but there are hints of things that Ranboo could only describe as purely Tommy that make it perfect.
Police sirens sound in the distance, and Ranboo pulls away. “I wouldn’t mind continuing that job, making you happy. If you let me, of course.”
Tommy laughs softly, kissing Ranboo once more before falling back into the passenger seat. “Deal. Now let’s get out of here, yeah? Don’t really want our first date to be in a holding cell. Those things are filthy.”