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“You’re angry with me.” Conner states as he puts down the large amount of luggage he had hauled from the pick-up truck into the living room. They were in a country house in Smallville and by large amount I mean all 8 suitcases of stuff they had. They weren’t just full of clothes of course Robin had packed all his favorite weapons and other stealth and security related goodies as well.
Dick turns around to look at him from the small homey kitchen he started to explore and gives him a ‘no duh’ look narrowing the slits of his mask. He still refuses to take off his mask. The small child Dick cradles in his arms also looks toward Superboy but with his large blue eyes. Superboy wonders for a second if the blue eyes were inherited solely from him or if Robin’s eyes were blue as well.
Superboy takes the child from Robin and follows him through the kitchen to the back, “You’re the one who volunteered yourself. I was completely fine taking care of him on my own.”
“Oh please.” Dick says dismissively rolling his eyes as they reached the small area where the washer and dryer were across from the stairs. It was also where the doorway to the backyard was. Dick moved the curtains away from the door window to see outside.
Spring was ending and the long summer days had begun. The playground consisting of 2 swings and a slide were out back with long shadows hanging on them telling him the day was almost over. Robin feigned disinterest and annoyance but he was a bit in awe.
Such a mundane scene may have been nothing for some people but for Dick Grayson it was something completely new. He grew up in the circus moving from place to place, living in tents and trailers, bright colors, flashing lights and loud crowds. Then he lived with Bruce in their mansion, it had very dark urban scenery, and was the complete opposite of his circus life, instead of in the spotlight he was out of it. Both of these lives were far from ordinary.
It wasn’t like he wanted to have an ordinary life but to be able to experience it even a little, to experience a nice quiet home in the country with a family of his own, made feel him as intrigued as it did nervous.
Robin inwardly reprimanded himself. They weren’t a family and of course he wasn’t leaving the life, he never could. This was as much of a mission as any. He was to partner with Superboy, just partner and nothing more, in making sure that this child was safe from the world and safe for the world as well.
“If I hadn’t defended you, If I hadn't told the Justice League that I would do this with you then you wouldn’t have had the credibility to do this task on your own.”
Robin headed up the stairs but paused because he sensed that Conner had stopped following him.
“Thank you” Superboy said with raw sincerity in his voice as Dick locked eyes with him. Dick clicked his tongue as he turned and continued up the stairs. He couldn’t be mad at Kon when he was being like that and he had a right to be mad. Even if this was a mission he wasn’t some babysitter he was a crime fighter for christ sake!
The memory of yesterday’s conversation, or rather confrontation, ran through his head.
‘This child was created from a combination of Superboy and Robin’s DNA. Biologically he’s about 4 years of age. Like Superboy he was grown in a tube and fed information but it is unclear the amount of information they were able to store within him in such a short amount of time and what other biological experiments the child has undergone. Unlike Superboy he will age but we don't know at what rate.'
Batman’s voice was deep and as serious as ever. After finding the child in a raid on a warehouse where illegal biological experiments were performed the Justice League had taken the child to a safe haven and wanted to keep him in stasis to be safe just in case he was wired with secret programming.
Y ou know how that went down with Superboy. Superboy had broken in and was about to break open the containment tube when Robin had stopped him from possibly harming the child within by hacking into the system Robin. He opened the container and Superboy grabbed the child.
Obviously they wouldn’t be able to get out of there before being confronted by members of the Justice League, most notably Superman and Batman.
Superboy had yelled about how wrong it was to keep the child in such a state and when Superman had asked what he would do with the child and Superboy was stuttering about how he would take care of him and was about to lose the argument Robin stepped in.
He didn’t WANT to do it, babysit the kid, but he couldn’t stand there and watch while Superboy was having such a hard time and this child also has HIS DNA as well as Superboys so he did feel a sense of responsibility.
He had made the argument that of course Connor couldn’t stand idle and watch this child grow up in a tube. He also told them the child would only be 1/4th Kryptionian and that meant the chances of his powers being too much for the both of them to handle together was unlikely. He was the one who thought up that they would be able to raise the child in peace at the Kent’s second house out in Smallville and also that Batman had more than enough money to sponsor them.
After that the deal was closed and the next day here they were.
There were two rooms in the house. One with a crib and a king sized bed, the other with a queen sized. Dick walked into the one with the crib “I’ll take this one” meaning he was offering to take care of the child at night.
“No I will.” Conner counters “It’s the least I could do.”
“Conner you sleep like a log and he’s going to want to wake up at night.” Dick basically saying ‘it has to be me anyways’.
Conner’s eyebrows creased and lips tightened as he looked at Dick trying to find a way to refuse.
“We’ll both stay in here then.” Connor tells him stubbornly as he gives the child to Dick and goes downstairs to grab their stuff before he could argue back. It was a good thing too because Dick couldn’t hide his surprised expression.
The little boy gently slapped Dick’s cheek. He was blushing all the way to his ears. Not only will they be raising their biological child together but now they’re going to share the same room? Sleep together?!
It was just... sleep... but still...
Impossible! Dick didn’t think he could handle it. The proximity with the Kon… they were best friends and… was this crossing the line or not? And did he want to cross the line?
As he heard his heart race in his ears and the big blue eyes staring at him he willed himself to calm down, knowing if he got too excited Superboy would be able to tell. It wasn’t like they were really a couple or anything this was just the most logical and fair thing to do since it was both equally their responsibility to care for the young one.
Their young one.
Robin could feel the blush spread and he shook his head again and went to the window. He opened it to get some fresh air. As he looked out he could see the deep orange clear sky of the countryside, so different from his usual view and calmed down a bit.
The little boy struggled in his grasp and he set him down gently on the ground.
He was a very fair little boy with dark black hair cut short with little bangs. His eyes were light blue marbles, folding the way Dick imagines Conner’s eyes would have if he was ever this age, and Dick knows his own eyes are the same exact same color as the boys, a very dark rim of deep blue on the outsides leading to an ocean of light within looking as if they almost glowed.
His nose and thin face structure was from Dick but Dick couldn’t help but stare at the boys ears that were distinctly Conner’s, not a bit wide and round like his own but taller and almost pointed at the top. He was also quite on the thin side. He was of the body type that Dick knew would be great for acrobatics.
The people who created him must have wished to create a soldier, maybe an army of soldiers, who had the lithe and smarts of Robin and some of the invulnerability and strength of Superman. Dick had to admit no matter the circumstances their child was very beautiful.
The little boy was wearing a red t-shirt with a black superman sign on it and black khaki shorts. His red and black shoes were light up and he carried around a string backpack with the robin insignia and that had 2 toy action figures, Superboy and Robin of course, and little notebook with a pencil. Batgirl had taken him shopping before coming.
“Hey watch out.” Kon warned the little boy casually as he set down the many suitcases in the room.
The boy blinked at him and remained in place.
Kon sat on the bed and opened his arms to him “Come here kid”. The boy came to him and hugged him as he was picked up and put in Kon's lap.
“Do you like it here? It’s your new home.” Kon waited for a response for a while. After getting nothing he turned to Dick a bit concerned, “He seems to understand pretty well but he still won’t say anything. Do you think he can’t speak?”
Robin turned around “I’m not sure but I think he probably can. We didn’t see anything wrong with his vocal chords when we examined him. He’s perfectly healthy. It’s probably just shock from getting out of the tube or he just doesn’t like to talk. He’s probably overwhelmed. Wait until he’s just whelmed. Just give him some time.” Robin shrugged.
“Are you overwhelmed kid?” Kon asked the little boy. He blinked up at him with his intelligent stare not saying a word.
‘He’s always looking and analyzing’ Conner thought, ‘Just like Robin.’
“Just calling him kid is a problem though. He needs a name.” Dick crossed his arms.
“What’s your name?” Kon asked. The little boy gave him a quizzical look. He looked up to see Robin giving him the same look. Kon hadn't really had a name and the little boy must not have had a name either by the way he was being looked at. It was almost comical how alike they looked at that moment that he had to stop himself from laughing at them and getting Robin even more annoyed. “It was worth a try.”
Robin knelt down in front of the boy on Kon’s lap. “What about… Matt?”
He shook his head no. Robin and Superboy exchanged a glance. He was responding at least, which probably means he’ll respond if he cares enough to.
“Luke?” Conner suggested.
They got a shake again.
“Andrew?”
“Joseph?”
“Peter?”
“Oh! I know! How about Cory?” Conner asked “My name is Conner Kent and Superman’s name is Clark Kent so what about Cory? You could be Cory Kent?”
Another shake of the head.
“Christian? Calvin? Kevin? Caleb? Carson?”
The little boy huffed blowing his bangs a little and shook his head fervently with a pout.
Conner looked so deflated that Dick actually moved to sit next to him on the bed and pat his back a sardonic smile on his lips, “He seems extremely underwhelmed by those names.”
The little boy just sat there not moving an inch about the ‘C’ names.
“How about James?” Robin Suggested.
The little boy thought for a second. Robin and Superboy exchanged glances.
“James is a very upstanding name.” Robin told him. They had been at this for a while now and this was the first name the little boy had actually thought about.
“You could be James Kent” Robin Suggested. It didn’t have the pretty alliteration that a ‘C’ name would have but it sounded okay.
The little boy shook his head.
“He doesn’t even want my last name” Kon groaned in defeat “See if he likes yours”. He said it before realizing he didn’t even know Robins real name and that would be pressuring Robin into revealing his secret identity, which he took very seriously if the mask was anything to show for it.
Before he could apologize and take it back Dick asked the boy “Grayson? James Grayson? How about this James Kent Grayson? That means your name has both of us” he gestured to Superboy and himself “in it. Won’t that be great?”
With sweat on their brows the two boys watched anxiously as their young one thought it over.
Finally he nodded and the two rejoiced.
“Nice to meet you James” Robin smiles using two fingers to shake hands with the little boy on Kon's lap.
“Grayson…” Conner said and looked at Robin “I like that name a lot”.
Feeling his heart jump out his chest and realizing their extremely close proximity on the bed Robin got up quickly. He went and opened a random suitcase. “Let’s hurry up and unpack.”
-
Night came sooner than expected. Dick rummaged through the suitcase they hadn’t unpacked yet and pulled out a little red one-sie for James. They had started calling James Jamie and JJ. He seemed to really like it. Every time they used his name he would look to them expectantly almost cheerfully. Conner and Dick couldn’t help but think it was cute and used his name whenever they could.
“I’ll dress Jamie. You can take a shower now.” Conner came in wearing only a small white towel around his waist. He was still dripping a bit as water fell from his hair to his neck and shoulders down his stomach and-
“Ah y-yeah” Dick quickly looked down doing his best not to ogle his team member. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other naked before right? But for some reason it was different. He couldn’t believe he was blushing so hard. He tossed the one-sie at Superboy and ran out with a “You should dry your hair”.
Conner was about to help the boy undress when he shook his head no and crossed his arms stomping one foot to make the point.
“Okay okay you can do it by yourself.”
James picked up his shirt from the bottom front and started to pull it upwards his short little arms doing their best to pull his head out but alas got stuck. Kon silently laughed as the little boy struggled a bit more and then a bit more and then finally stops.
“h-hn” a little voice came out.
Conner gasped a little at the sound.
“ha-haaap” it was quiet but it was there.
“You need help?” Conner asked moving closer.
The little boy with his hands in the air and head stuck in his shirt couldn’t nod so he bent the whole top half of his body in a nodding motion.
‘TOO CUTE!’ Kon thought.
“What?” he asked trying to get Jamie to speak again.
“haaaap hnnn” he tried to take off his shirt again to demonstrate what he needed help with.
‘He’s too cute!’ Kon thought still laughing a little. This child always seemed so serious all the time that he just found this hilarious and adorable even though he knew he should be helping him.
"hnnn..." James complained.
“Stop torturing him!” Dick yelled coming in. He had forgotten his towel. Scowling at Superboy as he helped JJ pull his shirt off. James face was red from exertion.
“Are you okay Jay?” Robin asked touching his face and fixing his hair a little.
Jay wiped his eyes a little and nodded looking down and clinging to Robin’s shirt.
Dick glared daggers at Kon. Kon threw up his hands waving them at Robin in defense “Sorry sorry! He was just so cute I-“ an even angrier glare was received “I mean he was talking!”
Dick looked back at the little boy, “Is that true?”
He nodded still looking down and clinging to Robin.
“Can you talk to me?”
He nodded again.
“With words?”
He shook his head.
“Why not?”
He finally looked up and pointed at Conner with an angry red and tearful pouty face.
Conner got a little shock. Maybe he did go a bit too far.
Dick looked at Conner with an eyebrow raised to tell him ‘see what you did?’ then turn around to the child.
“You don’t want to talk in front of Conner?”
The boy nodded clinging closer to Robin and Robin hugging him back.
“Okay you and me can take a bath together and talk about it okay?” He leveled his face with Jamie's. “Conner can stay here.”
Jamie nodded and Dick took his towel he had forgotten in the room and another towel for Jamie.
Conner was completely still with a self loathing look on his face. Robin saw that his towel was slipping a little low and gulped his face turning red again because why did he have to look down there? “Get dressed and don’t worry about it. We’ll be back.”
Jamie held onto Dick’s hand the few steps it took to get to the bathroom across the hall and instead of taking a quick shower like he was used to he turned on the bath.
After getting in and sitting with Jamie almost in his lap Dick poured some shampoo onto his own hair and then Jamie's. He rubbed his own head smiling as the child mimicked him and grew bubbles in his hair. Jamie smiled back at him. Kids do bounce back fast.
“So are you okay now?” Robin asked.
JJ's face sunk a little remembering what happened but he nodded.
“Can you use your words please?” Robin pried nicely.
“…yas….” he said looking down now.
‘Ah he’s probably really shy that’s all’ Robin thought.
“Thank you so much Jamie” Robin smiled picking up his chin. Jamie smiled back at him.
“… yow wew-come…” he said cutely.
“You have a very nice voice Jamie. Why don’t you want to talk in front of Conner?” asked Robin.
“He’s… a meanie…” Jamie says almost in tears again “He didn’t haap Jamie…”
Dick started washing Jamie’s body with soap “JJ you know Conner likes you so much. He was mean and I will talk to him okay? But he likes you so much James he does.” He couldn’t believe he was defending Conner to a four year old.
Jamie was silent so Dick continued “Conner was just so happy to hear your voice that he got too excited.”
Jamie looked away again pouting.
“I know that’s not an excuse but he’s very sorry for what he did. Would you please forgive him?” Robin poured water over the boys body. He was still refusing silently.
“For me?” Robin asked nicely. Still nothing.
Robin took off his mask he had kept on this whole time and picked up Jamie's chin. “Please?” Kon will definitely get a beating from him. They were the ones this little boy was supposed to trust to take care of him and he had already gone and messed it up. Kon better come up with a good thank you present for the amount of time Robin is taking to help him.
James nodded reluctantly “yas Robin…”
“Thank you so much James. That’s the spirit. Look traught.” Dick smiled.
He let James scrub his back before they got out of the bath.
As soon as the door opened they saw Kon who had been standing there leaning against the opposite wall.
He quickly knelt down to JJ, “I’m sorry Jamie. I won’t do that again okay? I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Is okay!” James told him surprising Kon and Dick by hugging him “Just no meanie anymore!” he waved a finger in his face.
Kon laughed out loud, he didn’t know if it was because Jamie was so cute or because he was so relieved or the fact that whether or not a 4 year old liked him or not mattered so much to him.
Jamie's face puffed very seriously and made Kon stop laughing “Yes! Of course! I promise not to be a… a meanie ever again okay?”
James seemed satisfied with that and so they went off to bed.
-
“No fair!” James says. If he were one to shout then he would have but since his normal voice was still quiet his loud voice was a normal sounding level. He’s climbed onto the king sized bed. He had finally become a bit more vocal.
“James this bed is made just for you.” Dick tells him pointing to the crib.
“Tha’s for babies! Kon seeps wif Robin! Me too!” he crosses his arms.
Kon and Dick exchanged glances.
“He’s got a point. He could sleep in a bed and not a crib. I think 4 years old is old enough for that right? But I don’t feel we should allow him to sleep in a room on his own either. Just let him sleep with us.” says Kon. Hopefully his vouching earned him some points with the kid.
And with that here they were lying together on the bed Jamie sleeping soundly between them.
He had also refused to put on the one-sie and was sleeping in his underwear. How could they have expected to win that argument when Robin just slept in his boxers and Superboy just threw on some sweatpants?
“You shouldn’t tease him too much he’s very sensitive about things he’s unable to do quite yet.” Robin tells Conner once he’s sure Jamie is actually asleep.
“I won’t. It was a momentary lapse in judgment. Thank you for standing up for me.” He says in a calm sweet voice.
“Don’t mention it.” Just like that all of Dicks ideas of how Kon would pay him back were gone. All was forgiven. Damn this guy was too kind and straightforward to hold grudges against.
“He’s so quiet I didn’t think he would be so feisty.” Kon remarked to Robin as he smiled fondly over the boy he spoke about.
“Yeah, he really tries his best to be independent so he’ll refuse help but you just have to be there for him to help him when he needs it.” Robin softly stroked Jamie’s hair.
“Sound’s like a certain someone I know as well.” Connor says looking at Dick.
Dick looks at him amused with one eyebrow up, “I could say the same about you.”
Superboy swore because of the small devilish smile crossing Robin’s lips was sinful and the added spark of Robins deep blue eyes was way too appealing. He continued to stare into Robins eyes as if mesmerized.
“W-what is it? Stop looking at me like that.” Dick stuttered with a frown. “Is there something wrong with my face?”
“Your eyes are blue. A different shade than mine and they’re the same exact color as Jamie’s.”
Suddenly Dick remembered that he had never put his mask back on in the bath and it was now way too late for him to go get it. His face flushed red and he covered it with the blanket.
“I already saw you, you know. What are you embarrassed about?” Conner asked pulling the blanket off him with his super strength casually.
“Hey stop it!” his eyes lock with Conner’s again.
Conner can hear Robins heartbeat rising but he doesn’t understand why. Does his secret identity mean that much to him? Or was it because of another reason? No matter Conner just wished to continue to be able to look into those eyes.
“Please, Robin” Dick is caught again. The sincerity in Kon’s voice is too palpable, too good, he can’t resist it, he has to hear what he has to say “We’ve been friends all my life now and I still know next to nothing about you while you know… well everything about my whole life and probably more about me than me!”
They’re both sitting up and Kon’s hand reaches out and gently touches Dicks that are clinging to the blanket “I don’t even know your first name. You don’t even have to tell me that. Just… just let me have this. Let me look at your face.”
Robin is star struck. He can’t look away from Superboy and it feels like Superboy is looking into the very depths of his soul. He knows that Batman forbid him from sharing his secret identity but with Conner it felt like he could not just reveal his past but share his sorrows as well. He didn’t just want it but deep inside himself he knew he needed to.
Tears well up in his eyes and he can’t help it. It’s scary. He’s scared of repeating the words of his past. He’s scared of who he actually is. He’s scared of Dick Grayson’s tragic life eating away at him. As Robin he is different but as Dick… without his mask he’s too vulnerable. All the pent up feelings and the weight of keeping who he is a secret from everyone was going to flood out.
The tears started flowing silently and Kon brought up his hands to wipe them away. Confused as to what brought about these tears Kon whispered “I’m sorry. You can put on a mask if you want to. I’m sorry. I’ll close my eyes even. You can go get it okay?”
Robin reaches over to touch Kon’s face and Kon opens his eyes in surprise “It’s Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson of the ‘Flying Graysons’.” Robin tells him, “my name…”
Kon nods not prying. Letting Dick decide to share what he wanted, “I grew up in a circus. My parents were an act and then... people came to the circus and threatened the performers and… then my parents... died. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault and… Batman came and I just... Batman saw me and he helped me. He helped me become Robin.”
Kon nodded again in acknowledgment, his hands still cupping Robins face, thumbs wiping away his tears.
“Conner I’m so scared” he whispers in desperation. He had the feeling he dreaded, the feeling where although he was moving he was going nowhere. The sick feeling doing as much as he could and still not being able to do anything, to change anything, to help anyone.
“What are you scared of?” Kon asked tenderly.
“People I love- People I’m close to- that I care about just… dying.” Robin cries and Kon understands why Robin always needs to wear the mask. Even if it was the rule Batman had given him he also needed it for protection. Conner could tell every emotion within Dick through his eyes. Even when he put on a poker face his eyes told the truth if you could look deep enough. Right now though Dick was an open flood gate his eyes pouring out all his hurt and anguishes.
“I’ll always be here.” Conner tells him as he hugs him over the sleeping child. Their sleeping child.
He follows with a lithe kiss. Robins eyes shoot wide when he opens his and he decides it’s now or never to confess “I’ll always be here because I love you. Understand?”
Robin is still frozen and Superboy knocks his forehead with his “Hey bird boy… Robin… Dick… answer me.”
Robins heart beat is off the charts and his skin is burning. Maybe he broke Robin?!
“Dick! Hey! Di-“ Robin is quick, his tongue is in Conners mouth and Kon moans into the passionate kiss.
“Me too” Dick tells him “I love you, you idiot.”
Robin doesn't know what he feels. He's relieved that Conner loves him back but he also has the nagging feeling of fear, the fear of losing him. Conner's overwhelming presence eclipses his fears for now though and he allows himself to lose his cynicism for now with the hot touches of Kon's hands. They stay like that for a while until they finally go to sleep looking over at each other from over the top of Jays head.
Kon smiles and whispers “I’m feeling the aster.”
Robin laughs at that “Me too.”